#vent fic
Just an Apology
Tw: unhealthy relationships, kind of unsympathetic Janus, ducking out.
This is just a vent fic for me that I wrote in like 5 minutes so don’t take it to seriously. It’s set pre AA and is a little take on Virgil and Janus’ relationship. It isn’t my headcanon, just fueling my anger into something productive.
________
Just an apology. Just two fucking words. That’s all Virgil wanted to hear but he knew he wouldn’t. He knew because it had never happened before, not even when his arguments came piled with facts and he could debate anything thrown at him, because it didn’t matter.
All that mattered to Janus was that he was right and he wouldn’t cave. Well Virgil was stubborn to. Yeah, usually he was the first to break, but not this time. Not until Janus truthfully said ‘I’m Sorry.’
Virgil knew he wouldn’t, it was a waste of time. He should just go back and apologise and lie about how he was wrong, and Janus was right - how Janus was always right cause he was older and therefore had more ‘experience.’ Still, the anger that built up after years of crying and trying to brush it off was slowly bubbling and getting ready to blow.
And he did, but not outloud. He stayed in his room and waited for Janus to crack first.
He waited, and waited, and waited. Remus came in at some point. Still, Virgil waited and waited until it became to much.
But he wasn’t going to break, not this time. He would get an apology or stay like this for as long as it takes. It hurt but he could manage. Until, he couldn’t.
Ducking out was easier. After that it got a little better. He became closer to others, the ones Deceit told him to be cautious of. Eventually Deceit became one of the ‘others’ to Virgil.
He was able to forget for a while. It hurt to see Deceit again though.
Drowning
CW! Mild Panic Attack
Marinette runs away to the shadows as Batman chases her, streaks of dried up tears visible as she hides. She’s frustrated, she’s overwhelmed, she's… she’s just very very tired. Everything finally caught up to her. Every degrading remark, every time someone brushes off her worries, every time someone drops a dozen more expectations on her.
She’s exhausted.
She wants a break, she wants someone to understand, she wants for once… for someone to think of her, not her thinking of them. Is that really too much to ask? Is she being selfish? Is it selfish to want someone to see beyond that smile on her face there is a little girl begging, crying, shouting for help? Is it selfish that she wants someone to hold her while she cries? Is it selfish that she wants someone to make sure that she stays afloat? For someone to make sure she doesn’t drown?
As she hides in the shadows, she curls into a ball, letting more and more tears flow down her eyes. Her sobs are soundless, hiding her emotions for anyone who couldn’t see her.
Everything’s just too much.
From having found out that her parents aren’t biologically related to her, to the duties she needs to uphold as the guardian. From having to pick out new holders, to trying to please her newly found family. From trying to get them to accept her, to ignoring all the jabs she gets from her classmates.
She’s just a kid.
She’s just a little girl.
She shouldn’t have to do this.
She shouldn’t have to do any of this.
And as she cries and cries till she has no more tears, Batman is still roaming out on the roofs looking for the person that biologically is his daughter. A girl that was once again hidden from him. He didn’t know what was going on. He didn’t understand what happened. All he knew is that he was told, “Marinette is gone, we don’t know where she is.”
Now he’s jumping over rooftops, looking for her.
The sounds of speeding cars and people trying to get home as quickly as possible fill his ears. He hears nothing that sounds like his daughter.
“Have you seen anything yet, Nightwing?”
“Unfortunately not,” Nightwing replied with a sigh.
“Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, anything at your end?”
“Nothing,” all three answered simultaneously.
Batman sighed as he leaped back up to search again. Just as he was going to leave his location, he spotted a pair of pink flats peeking out of a corner. He slowly walks towards them, careful not to make a sound. He soon sees his daughter curled up in a ball, head on her knees, fast asleep. Tears were still left on her face and it broke his heart to know that she was crying.
“I found her, heading back to the cave now,” he informed the others.
He hears their acknowledgements and gently picks Marinette up. She stirs a little but soon falls back asleep. He heads back to the cave trying not to wake her and when he gets there, he immediately goes to her room and tucks her in. He hurries to change and comes back a few minutes later as Bruce Wayne.
Bruce sits on the foot of the bed, looking at his daughter intently. She looks so peaceful. Without him realising it, he lays down right under her feet and soon sleep overtakes him as well.
Early in the morning, Bruce wakes up first. He stretches a bit, his back sore from sleeping in an uncomfortable position. He decides to sit near Marinette’s head, stroking her hair while he waits for her to wake up. And soon enough, she starts to stir.
“Bruce?” she says.
The man in question smiles, “Hey Mari, you gave us quite a scare last night.”
Marinette hides her face, cheeks turning red in shame.
Bruce notices this, “You want to talk about it? I’m here to listen, Mari.”
Marinette feels tears pool up in her eyes again, but this time, someone pulls her in for a hug.
“Let it out, sweetheart,” Bruce comforts, “I’m here.”
“E- everything’s just- too much…” Marinette says softly between sobs.
“Yeah?”
“Everyone expects me to be either one thing or another. I can’t seem to find a way to keep everyone happy- I just can’t! Everyday is just more expectations while fulfilling all the other ones before. Everyday is just a new problem after the next. When can I rest? When can I just be happy without having to worry about people hating me for it. When can I stop worrying over people leaving me for something I didn’t do…”
“Oh sweetheart…” Bruce says softly, “I can’t say anything for anyone else but you will always have me. I know I’m not the best father, but I’m here, I’ll always be here. I won’t say I don’t have any expectations for you, but I would never hate you if you couldn’t fulfill them, I wouldn’t be disappointed either. Because I know you tried.”
“Marinette, sweetheart, you’re an incredibly hard working person, you always try your best, and that’s really all I ask of you. Try your best, the results don’t matter. What I expect of you isn’t anything you need to feel obliged to complete. Also never, I mean never, be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s for opinions, advice, or assistance, I’m open. My doors won’t ever be closed for you. Okay, darling?”
Marinette glances up at the man who holds her. She searches his face for any sign of a lie, any sign of insecurity on his face. Yet, she finds none. All that was written was genuine love and concern. Hesitantly, she leans into his touch, sniffling from crying earlier. She smiles a bittersweet smile.
“Thanks, Dad. I mean it.”
Bruce stiffens in surprise at the title but Marinette seems too tired to realise. He holds her tighter in his grasp, holding on as if she’ll disappear if he doesn’t. He smiles.
“Of course, sweetheart, anytime.”
1010 words
This is a vent fic if you couldn’t tell. Anyway, wrote a fic cause I didn’t want to post a note only. I’m taking a break from writing. School is just really overwhelming me and everyone’s expectations aren’t helping. Especially since now I’m apart of the new School Organization ad the secretary. It’s a lot and I really need a break. Hope you understand. Love you all! Thanks for your support
XOXO
-Leen
Permanent Taglist:
@animegirlweeb@insane-fangirl-of-everything@nickristus-dreamer@miraculouslydumb
“Trapped”
A Shintora vent fic
// tw self harm , suicidal thoughts
Trapped - autumn_sky96 - 東京卍リベンジャーズ | Tokyo Revengers (Manga) [Archive of Our Own]
Deku x Reader
A/N + Summary: This might be long, and it might be two parts. Most notably, this is simply a vent. My Maladaptive Daydreaming keeps bringing this thought back to me. I hate it, it keeps reminding me of truths I wish weren’t truths. But, you didn’t really come here to hear about that.
This fiction encompasses my own hatred of my failure to fit into societal norms.
I am(if not already apparent) fully and completely aware of the fact that only a driblet of people experience this sort of insecurity, and despite me calling the reader one, I myself am a weirdo. I understand that this is quite possibly the least relatable thing I will ever write. But, since adding this small portion to this blog, I’ve stopped thinking about this as much, which is a win win for me.
A proper summary would go something like this:
Uraraka had always been the type of girl who didn’t realize how amazing she was. How beautiful she was. How normal she was. Normal, compared to society’s standards. Somehow though, she’d found herself threatened by you. In the least aggressive way you can take that word, anyway. You, despite knowing your shortcomings(meaning, your likelihood of ending up with him), flirted with Deku on the regular. She didn’t know your feelings for him, and assumed you didn’t have any (seeing as you hadn’t made any moves, despite your obvious flirting), so she found herself frustrated by you leading the poor boy on. After the feelings welled up, she decided she’d confront you, though it didn’t go well at all.
Inspiration:https://youtu.be/fC3Pif6iTlk
ATR (About the Reader)
Reader is AFAB
Reader is taller than average(about 6ft+)
Reader has a muscular build(Like Mirko, ya know?)
Reader’s physical strength rival’s that of Bakugo
Reader prefers to be dominant in all aspects of a relationship
Reader might have depression
Reader wishes they were normal
———————————————————-
The evening had been calm.
Currently, you were in the kitchen, preparing your meal for the next day. Excitedly you had done so, as Midoriya and Todoroki had come back with fresh groceries and some of the best snacks you could have asked for. Most if not everyone was getting ready for bed. Of course, there were exceptions like the night owls, Kaminari, Kirishima, Sero, Jirou, and Ashido. You hadn’t expected Uraraka to be awake, though. Even more so you hadn’t expected her to approach you at such a time. It was late, the two of you weren’t exactly the best of friends, and you knew very well that the two of you shared a crush(whether or not she was aware of this fact was something you hadn’t known), to put it bluntly, it didn’t make for the best combo.
“L/N?” She began. Her voice was small, as if it had been caught in her own throat whilst trying to escape “Can I ask you something?” Subconsciously your hand sped up, packing your lunch slightly faster than before.
“Yeah, what’s up?” followed by silence. Had she forgotten what she wanted to ask you? How awkward, though you can admit most guys would have found her shyness adorable. Had you already added that to the list? Metaphorical list, you hadn’t actually made a list of the things she had that you only wished you did.
“Um, I just wanted to ask you,” she’d shaken you from your thoughts, thank goodness, you were seconds away from spiraling “Do you…have feelings for Deku? It’s- It’s alright if you don’t want to…answer. I-I was just wondering! B-because…”
“Why do you ask?” Seemingly annoyed, you cut her off. Instead of sending you spiraling, Uraraka had managed to fire right into the one topic you hated thinking about. Not that it was her fault in any way. Your triggers aren’t her problem. “I’m not sure that’s much of your concern..” somehow, you’d managed to bring yourself back down, cooling off just as fast as you’d managed to heat up.
“You flirt with him quite a bit. I was just wondering since you never actually asked him out…to my knowledge, anyway…” Up till now, Uraraka had fixated her gaze to the floor, holding her hand to her chest. She‘d willed herself not to look at you “So I assumed you had feelings for him.”
“And if you’re wrong?” It was a bad response, what you should have said was ‘What if you’re right?’
No idea what willed you to say that shit. Weirdo.
“Then…” her hand fell, now finding refuge at her side. It had now been clenched tighter than before, her frustration building “..you’re just cruel. You shouldn’t lead him on like that, and you know it.”
You’re lunch was done by now, perfectly packed and neat despite your inner turmoil. With a sigh, you closed up your lunch box and turned to leave. Uraraka wasn’t having any of that “That’s not fair to him, L/N! You know what you’re doing is wrong!” And she was right. At least from her own list of assumptions. If they had been correct, she’d be completely in her right to tell you off. But the things she clung to as facts, they weren’t. They were nothing more than assumptions that didn’t have enough backing to be taken to court. And for her to treat them as if they could have been, when she knew next to nothing about you..
It was somewhat annoying.
You, however, didn’t really want to dwell on this much longer.
“You don’t know anything about it. So you shouldn’t speak on it.”
An attempt to cut things short.
Futile.
“I don’t mean any disrespect, L/N, but if you keep treating his feelings like they don’t matter…”
You stopped walking, mildly intrigued. And she continued.
“I’ll have to stop you by force.”
It was interesting, given the circumstances. Uraraka had to know her chances were low. She stood just over 5′1 as compared to your 6+ feet, and her build wasn’t much to write home about strength wise. If you were making a doujin, however, she’d probably beat you out. This wasn’t a hentai, though, and your physical strength alone could have easily put her down for the count. A bit of Gunhead Martial Arts wasn’t going to change that fact so easily.
“Sure. Whatever you say.”
———————————————————-
To make a long story short, you’d paid her warning no mind. Despite knowing it was futile, you couldn’t help but indulge yourself in praising Izuku Midoriya as always. He’d walked into class and you once again followed a routine you had begun a few days prior.
“Hey, Deku! You look so beautiful today.”
You called it out from your seat, and watched in amusement and adoration as he burst into flames, despite you having complimented him in a similar way before. He sputtered in that cute way he always did, mumbling and falling over his words. Poor thing still wasn’t used to being told that he was gorgeous.
Eventually, he’d managed a frail ”T-t-thank you…y-yo-you t-too!” before rushing to his seat. He’d covered his head with his arms, blushing furiously as he greedily allowed himself to drown in the compliment.
You really had fallen for the boy. He was far too cute. But not just that, he had the kindest soul you’d ever had the pleasure of being friends with. You knew, however, that he’d never feel the same. Not with the way you were. Not with the way you’d chosen to be.
Uraraka, who had walked in with Deku along with Iida, was none too pleased with this statement. Maybe, if she’d known that it was genuine she wouldn’t have minded. She would have simply watched with that soft gaze of hers. Staring on, allowing Deku to find happiness with whomever he’d chosen. She would have buried her feelings, held her tongue, closed her mouth, had she known that you truly loved Midoriya.
But she didn’t.
Instead she believed that you had no feelings at all. Found some sick pleasure in toying with his emotions. She very well could have left it alone. Closed her mouth while the one she loved was pulled by a string that would surely lead him off a cliff. Cut so easily and without a care. She couldn’t allow it. She wouldn’t let you play with him like that.
———————————————————-
As it had happened many days before, All Might found his way to Midoriya during lunch. The two had left right as lunch began, the first two to leave. The first two to miss it.
Aoyama, who sat back in class to eat(the food hurt his tummy) had no intention of getting up, though many of the students began to make their way out of the class. The majority of them stopped, though, when Uraraka spoke up. Her annoyance had built up far too much.
“Do you really think any of this is funny, L/N?”
As opposed to the day before, her voice was clear. It rang throughout the room with confidence. It reached the ears of classmates who had already made it outside of the classroom. They’d made it a point to look back, rerouting in order to witness the commotion about to ensue(though, they had no idea this was the case, of course).
You had been on your way out of the room, and turned around to face her. You’d almost forgotten the conversation you had the night before. Forced it out of your mind so as to not send yourself into another episode of “How Much Do I Hate Myself Today?”. A game show you’d always found yourself the winner of.
Youwere the only player, though..
“You really are treating this like a joke. It’s just some game to you, isn’t it?” A scoff found its way to the brunette’s eardrum. “You know nothing about it.” a repetition of the phrases spoken the night before “So you can’t speak on-”
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” As if a new found fire had been lit under her, she picked her head up, staring into your eyes with determination that rivaled that of the Sports Festival. “I won’t… I won’t stand by and let you keep this awful act up, L/N! If you really care about him at all, you’ll stop!”
A single foot was propped up on her desk, like she was readying herself to jump, to leap over the desks separating her from you. To sock you in your face. To knock you out, to do something. Uraraka couldn’t help but wonder though, was this the right choice? Was she doing the right thing? She couldn’t have known. All she did know was that she couldn’t stop herself. Not anymore. And especially not with you egging her on like you were.
“Stop me, then.”
That was as much as it took. She was fast, leaping from desk to desk. She’d only used one foot to change direction each time, which allowed for almost no time to think. Quickly you’d pushed Jirou out of the way, kicking up a chair to use as defense. Ochako gripped onto the legs of the chair, protecting herself as she shoved you with her foot, pulled the chair away and threw it to the opposite side of the room.
Wait, who was in the right again?
It didn’t take long for Kirishima and Ashido to run out of the classroom.
All Might, he’d fix everything. He’d stop this. He had to. He was All Might, after all. They’d found him in his lounge with Deku as normal. He seemed all too calm before he’d seen the panicked looks on his students’ faces “All Might, Deku! Come quick!” the two cried.
Tch, snitches.
By now, the room was a mess, desks thrown on their side and not a single student stopping the two brawling in the middle. A few phones came out. For evidence, of course.
You’d barely taken a scratch as opposed to Uraraka who’d been covered in bruises. Her fire failed to subside, and she took her opportunity to grasp the upper hand when you stepped back, tripping over a pencil so carelessly left on the ground(it was likely, however, that you’d knocked it down when the two of you were throwing desks).
A simple stumble was all it took for her to be on you. Uraraka leaped forward, hands placed firmly on your shoulders as you toppled over.
You hit the ground.
It was now you could clearly see the rage on her features. Her hair was disheveled, her lip was bleeding and tears formed at the corner of her eyelids.
“You’re nothing more than a coward! A spineless, coward!”
She was wrong.
“How dare you even for a moment pretend like his feelings don’t matter! How dare you treat him like he’s everything, yet feel nothing?!”
It wasn’t true.
“You…! Why you..!” she’d raised her fist, and for a moment you considered letting her beat you senseless. Wasn’t it what you deserved? You’d let her believe you didn’t care about Deku at all. If you’d just been honest, this could have been avoided.
But you’re not nice enough to let her pummel you just to blow off some steam. If she didn’t understand, you’d just have to explain.
Uraraka slammed her fist forward. You even gritted your teeth, ready to counter. This blow never came though, as a familiar hand gripped onto the wrist of the girl above you, pulling her back.
Speak of the Deku.
“Uraraka,stop it! Calm down!!” A familiar voice, along with a face to match emerged. Not that you really cared though. Swiftly, you jetted upwards, rage pumping through your veins. Your intention had been to fire back. To hit her in some way though, your attack had been intercepted as well. Two large hands(likely larger than your face) wrapped around your own forearms. You made an attempt to fight against them, but it was futile. “Calm down, Young Lass, there’s no need for violence.” But you didn’t hear him. Uraraka didn’t either, her assault continued
“Spineless!!”
“Coward!!”
“Wickedwench! You can’t do anything but toy with the emotions of those around-”
It was your foot. Luckily, she’d been in range so the toe of your sneaker could properly clobber her from below. The sound had rang out clearly, along with her own grunt at the impact.
“Keep your mouth shut!!”
Suddenly it was your turn to speak.
“You know nothing about it!! Who are you to tell me how I feel?! You have no idea how lucky you are! You have no idea how beautiful you are! You have no idea…how normal you are!!”
It was silent for a bit.
“I would give anything to be like you! To be shy, easily flustered. To be short and cute. To be so…wanted.” They started to flow. The oceans pent up by the dam of your own pride. They’d spilled over at that one word. It was all you’d ever wanted. For someone to want you. “I can’t believe you ever felt even the slightest bit threatened by me. It’s comical you ever believed that I even so much as stood a chance with him! Nothing I say to him matters and it never will because he’ll never look at me the way he looks at you. I’ll never be the perfect girl the guy can save when she’s in trouble. I’ll never be the girl who fits so well into society’s standards! I’ll never be the submissive girlfriend that every guy wants!! You shouldn’t even so much as glance at me because I’ll never be as perfect as you are!!”
All Might’s grip on your wrists loosened as his face softened. Deku stared at you with those round pools of green you’d fallen in love with so long ago. A concerned look that would have stabbed you straight through the heart had you been paying him any attention.
You weren’t though, instead you locked eyes with Ochako, who’s eyes had been wide with shock and a hint of sadness.
“Ido love him, Uraraka. But none of that will ever matter,”
With that your arms were set free, along with the waterfalls now streaming down your cheeks.
“Because no matter how hard I try, I’ll only ever be me. I’ll never be like you.”
You kept your head down, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder.
You trudged out of the classroom, silently.
No, you’d never be like her.
Just an Apology
Tw: unhealthy relationships, kind of unsympathetic Janus, ducking out.
This is just a vent fic for me that I wrote in like 5 minutes so don’t take it to seriously. It’s set pre AA and is a little take on Virgil and Janus’ relationship. It isn’t my headcanon, just fueling my anger into something productive.
________
Just an apology. Just two fucking words. That’s all Virgil wanted to hear but he knew he wouldn’t. He knew because it had never happened before, not even when his arguments came piled with facts and he could debate anything thrown at him, because it didn’t matter.
All that mattered to Janus was that he was right and he wouldn’t cave. Well Virgil was stubborn to. Yeah, usually he was the first to break, but not this time. Not until Janus truthfully said ‘I’m Sorry.’
Virgil knew he wouldn’t, it was a waste of time. He should just go back and apologise and lie about how he was wrong, and Janus was right - how Janus was always right cause he was older and therefore had more ‘experience.’ Still, the anger that built up after years of crying and trying to brush it off was slowly bubbling and getting ready to blow.
And he did, but not outloud. He stayed in his room and waited for Janus to crack first.
He waited, and waited, and waited. Remus came in at some point. Still, Virgil waited and waited until it became to much.
But he wasn’t going to break, not this time. He would get an apology or stay like this for as long as it takes. It hurt but he could manage. Until, he couldn’t.
Ducking out was easier. After that it got a little better. He became closer to others, the ones Deceit told him to be cautious of. Eventually Deceit became one of the ‘others’ to Virgil.
He was able to forget for a while. It hurt to see Deceit again though.
