Notes: I thought I was being so clever with the last chapter.  “They’re gonna think I uploaded the wrong chapter,” I thought. “This is gonna be such fun!”  And not even twenty minutes later Quick’s like “so how long is it gonna take Ver to realize she’s tricked herself back into the Loops?”   Y’all’ve got my number.  

(Itried doing this as a sprint fic, bc I was using the “You’ve Got Mail AU” prompt from a few challenges ago, but around 5-6 sprints in I gave up and just wrote the damn thing.   Also desperately trying to convince myself this doesn’t need to be a full-fledged AU – at least not before the three other AUs that came first get done.   )

 Ch 1|Ch 2|Ch 3|Ch 4|Ch 5 |  Ch 6  |  Ch 7

Princess Heartmaker

Chapter Eight: Oh, My Dreams…it’s Never Quite as it Seems, ‘Cause You’re a Dream to Me

OneLuckyBug: 22:12: omg he’s at it again

OneLuckyBug: 22:12: My walls are shaking how is this legal

OneLuckyBug: 22:13: I have exams tomorrow, star.  It’s almost midnight.  I’m going to murder him.

imightevenBaRockStar22: 22:32: did you call the cops?

OneLuckyBug: 22:32: He finally stopped.

OneLuckyBug: 22:33: Aren’t you anti-police?

imightevenBaRockStar22: 22:33: hey, i have roger raincomprix on speed dial

imightevenBaRockStar22: 22:33: he’s an honorary uncle

OneLuckyBug: 22:34: Liar   Shut up

imightevenBaRockStar22: 22:34: made you smile tho

Marinette’s smile warmed as she stared at the most recent message on her phone.  He really had.

FIC: Wherein Sheila King is Trying Her Best, Y’all (MLB, Dingo File)

Rating: M / PG-16 / Older Teen

Characters/Pairings: Brielle Girard (OC), Dingo King (OC), Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Sheila King (OC); Luka Couffaine & Dingo King, Luka Couffaine/Dingo King (according to Sheila), Dingo King/Brielle Girard, Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Teenage Boys/Food

Summary: Sheila King is convinced her son is hiding his new boyfriend from her.  There have just been too many Instances lately, no matter what either of the boys say.  She doesn’t care that Perry is ‘in love’ with the artist or Luka is supposedly ‘dating’ that baker’s girl.  There’s just no way hummus can be as good as her boys are claiming, dang it, and she’s determined to get to the bottom of things.

Author’s Notes/Warnings:There was this post on Tumblr, and I sent it to Mal saying “Convince me this isn’t a Dingo File”, and she very much did not convince me it wasn’t a Dingo File.  (Even contributed, dare I say, by pointing out that Anarka would just pound on the door and remind them to use the condoms she bought him.  And by reminding me of dessert hummus.  And…you know what, this didn’t start out as a Dammit Mal, but somewhere along the way I lost complete control of Dingo’s mum and I feel like it kinda became a Dammit Mal, so dammit, Mal.  ) 

“Wherein Sheila King is Trying Her Best, Y’all”

“Oh my God, this is amazing.”

Sheila King froze outside her son’s bedroom door.  Her son’s closed bedroom door.  The laundry basket on her hip was completely forgotten as she heard said son moan.  And then his best mate ask in a raspy voice: “…what if we tried it like this?”

She turned towards the door, eyes wide, as a moment of silence passed.  She slowly approached the door, her hand reaching for the knob, and froze again when Perry started gagging.

“N-nah, mate,” he coughed, gasping.  “Too…too much.”

“I love it,” Luka answered, his voice low and sounding like he was lost in…ahem.

Sheila’s hand returned to her laundry basket, her face burning as she realized what exactly was going on behind that door.  She pivoted away from the door and continued on her way to her own bedroom, ready to put the folded washing away.  And blast the first CD she could find.  To give her son and his friend (boyfriend, boyfriend, they were finallyboyfriends!) the privacy they deserved.

FIC: The Name Game (MLB/Lukanette, House Band)

Rating: K Plus / PG / All Ages

Characters/Pairings: Clara Couffaine (OC), Dewey Couffaine (OC), Harmony Couffaine (OC), Huey Couffaine (OC), Louie Couffaine (OC), Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Melody Couffaine (OC); Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Summary: Choosing Harmony’s middle name wasn’t hard.  Neither was picking Melody’s, or even the Twins’.  But by Clara, Luka and Marinette had run out of grandparents and were…struggling.

Author’s Notes/Warnings: There’s a blog (@miraculousfrenchculturehculture) that’s a bunch of French fans who answer culture questions for global fans (or: who viciously feed the plunny farm ), and they did a postthe other day about French middle name customs.  Would y’all believe, even having Luka Llewellyn Couffaine, I never actually considered middle names for the Band?  Plunnies bit, this week’s been a Week, so have some stupid family fluff. 

“The Name Game”

Luka and Marinette Couffaine weren’t exactly what you would call the traditional type.  They couldn’t be, when both were the creative type (and Luka was the son of Anarka Couffaine and Jagged Stone to boot).  Still, there were some traditions they liked to honor.

Like naming their children.  When Harmony came along, Luka’s only request was that they honor his ma’s –ka pattern, and while Marinette wasn’t as crazy about the name Harmonika (she liked Harmony, but she didn’t want to name their children after jailhouse blues instruments), she had been just exhausted enough (and stressed enough) to let him do whatever he wanted as long as she got to sleep.  Melody’s delivery had been less chaotic but a little harder on her maman, so that time she had been just drugged enough to not even blink when he’d looked at her with hopeful eyes and asked, “Melodika?”

Notes:…to everyone who’s starting to second-guess my (admittedly less than tenable) sanity and whether or not y’all should trust me…please remember this is ultimately a gift fic and I would not do Laurel dirty like that.  Heads will be removed from asses by the end.  I promise.

Ch 1|Ch 2|Ch 3 |Ch 4

Princess Heartmaker

Chapter Five: And it’s Scary to Keep on Carrying all This Love

Friday morning dawned bright and early.  Earlier than Rose would have liked, she thought moodily as she sipped on the cooling cup of coffee in her hands.  Especially considering how early she’d had to get up to beat Marinette to school.  Especially considering how late Juleka had kept her up the night before.

She sighed and took another sip of her coffee.  Juleka had come over shortly after texting her and had told her about her visit to Marinette’s.  And Rose, in turn, had told her about her talk with Marinette on Monday. And…about the Secret Admirer.

Juleka had been…well.

“Another scheme, Rose?” she sighed, rubbing at her eyes.  “You know how well Alya’s schemes always worked. We talked about this…”

“Because they were Alya’s, not mine.  And it’s not a scheme, Juleka,” Rose said, squeezing her hands.  “It’s…a metaphorical brick to the head.  Which, clearly, they both need.”

“…it’s a ticking time bomb,” Juleka deadpanned, her expression flat, “and you’ve just lost the wire cutters.”