#visual survivng

Used

So many people are diagnosed with cancer each year. The odds are one in eight individuals. There is a 13% chance of getting diagnosed with some kind or form of cancer. Everyday the numbers grow and the odds are against us. Yet, when you have cancer, you feel like you are the only one suffering. The only one in pain. The only one who is fighting to survive. Cancer has a way of using you all up both physically and mentally. It’s like you’re broken and there is no way to glue you back together. Though you are not alone, you feel isolated from the world around you. You no longer have purpose. Seeing others going through what you are experiencing gives you an odd since of community. We all stood strong at one time, but over time we are depleted of our natural resources and we feel weak. It’s that breaking point that decides where we are at and how we will manage the damage.

Resentment

There are so many times I feel resentment toward cancer and what it did to me. I feel like a shadow of my former self. I remember what life was like before I was sick and I see my life now. I have nearly lost everything in my battle with cancer. Yet, I have gained new life – a second chance. I want to live this new life, however, pain and sorrow fill me because I can no longer do some of the things I used to. In my second change of life, it has given me new sight. I remember my old self and know now how to make changes to improve my current self. Before I would have never had the time to write or draw. I would have never created a new dream. I would have been stuck wondering if there was more out there. Now I try to seek a brighter future. A life filled with more dreams a life filled with taking chances, and becoming the real me, not a shadow of what I thought was me.

Doubtful

There are many faces in life. A large percent of our communication is based on physical movement and facial expressions. When we are sick the emotion shows just like when we are happy. Sometimes there ids doubt and frustration. We put our faith into doctors and other medical staff. They will tell you that what you are experiencing is normal! There is nothing normal about chemo or radiation therapy. Doctors always ask how you’re doing when they should be able to read it on your face. There are times we fell doubtful and uneasy about our treatments and our progression or even regression. If only all that could be replaced with reassurance that or lives will continue on a more normal path in life and that we would know for certain that we will survive another day.

Concerned

There’s a saying, “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around – does it make a sound?” The obvious answer is yes! Cancer patients are like a broken tree in the forest. We live in our own environment. Try to endure and praise comforts. Yet, when we brake, people ignore our sounds. Or at least some do. Cancer is hard on everyone whether they have it or not. A family stands with you to help you along the way, but they cannot experience your inner pains, needs, hurts, or suffering. They can only stand by your side and try to help you stand strong. To help you through the damage being caused by the cancer. Sometimes it causes great concern because they don’t know how to fix the problem or take away you illness, they so desperately want the torment to end. All we want is to be whole again. To be able to stand firm and solid. To not be broken! If only there was some magical key that would unlock the cure to cancer then everyone would be given a fair chance to survive.