And now I’m curious what instruments famous Greeks and Romans would play if for some reason they were alive today and somehow in a marching band
Modern instruments. Can you imagine Agamemnon’s fist all up in a French Horn? Because I can.
One word: YES
Why am I imagining Patroclus with an alto sax?
Marc Antony-Trombone
I can see him giving Octavian a hard time for playing a “girly” instrument like the clarinet, only to later learn that he’s been silently plotting Marc’s downfall since the first day of bandcamp.
Clytemnestra would pwn a clarinet. Olympias- Clarinet. I can imagine her and Clytemnestra being in constant competition. Come on, two powerful, notoriously manipulative women playing the same instrument? They’d have to either team up to bring their rivals down or be rivals. Cassandra- Flute. Achilles- First chair trumpet Agrippa-Drums Antigone- Alto sax Alexander and Hephaestion- Trumpets. They would both hero worship Achilles like crazy. Commodus- Tuba
I have no idea how Olympias and Alexander are in the same band together, but considering that it’s people from the Classical Era in a marching band, I’m just gonna go with it.
Just in case I haven’t made my stance clear enough, I wanted to lay a few things on the table.
Tumblr is cancer, and the entire anti movement even more so. No one on this website knows how to do research and instead prefers just to make up their own definitions, spouting them as truth. Fujoshi does not mean what you think it means. Fujoshi are not inherently bad people. They’re in their right to ship whatever they can conceive. As it has recently been brought to my attention, let me also say that lolicon does not mean what you think it means. Loli consent is literally the worst case of Western bullshit I’ve ever seen. Its shorthand for lolita complex. Which by the way, Lolita is a name. There is nothing inherently sexual about the name. Its been twisted by trigger happy morons, but the lipstick or the fashion? Absolutely nothing to do with pedophilia in any way shape or form.
As a fandom old, I like and support “bad ships” because I have the brain capacity to wrap my head around the fact that these are fictional characters, not real people. If Inuyasha aired today, everyone would be having a fit about not only the Kagome x Inuyasha ship (15 year old human female x 50+ year old half-dog demon) but also the hugely popular Sesshomaru x Rin pairing (god only knows how old dog demon x 10~ year old human female). That being said …
My favorite Golden Kamuy pairing is Ogata x Asirpa (30+ year old man x 13 year old girl) and thats just the fucking facts. I like it. A lot. Its a good pairing.
I have no qualms about people shipping age gaps, whether legal (Endeavor x Hawks) or with minors involved (see above).
I have no qualms with people shipping incest. I’ve read a LOVELY Endeavor x Shoto series that was very cathartic for me regarding my own trauma and I’ve read plenty of BLmatsu fics as well. And to be honest with you? Incest isn’t even bad in real life, so long as its not rape. If a 25 year old man consented to having sex with his 22 year old sister? Its a non issue.
I harbor rape fantasies (being on the receiving end) as does a significant portion of the female populace. Stories about noncon or dubcon are not bad things. The people who read and write them are not bad. Its SUCH a prevalent fantasy that a published book written by a female author I’m currently reading wrote a staged rape scene. No trigger warnings. No notes that said “just so everyone knows, rape is not okay”. No deflecting comments to make sure that the reader knows shes not romanticizing it. The scene literally just IS.
Multishipping is not an endorsement for cheating (something else that was recently brought to my attention, much to my disgust). If someone wants to write about a female character fucking the ENTIRE male cast behind their backs, thats their prerogative and its really not that deep. Cheating in real life is bad because real people get hurt in the process. Fictional characters cheating on fictional characters is angst fuel. Plain and simple.
Any ship being labeled a “bad ship” is fanwank and nothing more.
Trying to tell people how they can and cannot enjoy their fictional media is wrong, and every anti should truly be ashamed of themselves for making people feel bad over something that doesn’t even exist.
I was raped by a father figure from the time I was 11 until I was 18 and I can assure you without a shadow of a doubt that there is absolutely nothing in shipping or fandom that even comes close to the real thing. Equating the two is honestly offensive to anyone whose actually been in that position and I honestly, truly believe that every anti who says they were abused in some fashion or another is lying. Because anyone whose really been there knows that fictional works on the internet are of so little consequence it doesn’t even ping on the radar. Its harmless. Real life though?
And no partaking in these things does not magically turn you into a rapist or a pedophile or anything of the sort. The man who took advantage of me for YEARS didn’t wake up one day and decide to fuck his 11 year old stepdaughter because he read a fucking incest fic on FF.N. He was raped when he was a child and the cycle of abuse continued.
Media effects reality but not the way you think it does. The power of suggestion only works enough to convince you that you need the newest Iphone or you’ll literally die. It does not somehow make you believe that real rape or real pedophilia is fine and dandy. It just does not work like that and anyone who thinks contrary needs to seek professional help ASAP. No amount of rape fic or lolicon doujins is going to make me go out and rape real children. Period.
Oh, and for the record? Theres nothing wrong with ageing up characters either. I don’t see the point (refer to this entire post) but if it makes someone else happy then so be it. They’re not pedophiles for wanting to age up a fictional character they have a crush on so THEY’RE more comfortable, especially considering that said fictional character will always be 15 in canon. Like these fucking mental gymnastics are astounding. Literally pump the brakes for five seconds and think about this.
If I had the power to magically warp into every anti’s house, or just anyone who believed any of the above “Bad Things” were true, I’d honestly kill every single one of them. Like, no joke. You’re a waste of space. You’re a waste of oxygen. No one loves and no one is ever going to love you with that attitude.
Peace.
that’s…….i…someone please launch a police investigation into this person’s life. this is actually a very concerning post.
This person said it’s okay if a man has sex with his sister. What the fuck?!
I remember this and nobody believes me when I tell them.
The even crazier thing is, it *started* in the government, it wasn’t just some meme.
Right? It was insane
the early 2000s were wild huh
Still remember new yorkers pouring expensive French wine down the sewers because Jacques Chirac didn’t support Bush’s illegal war
Oh, I love telling people about Freedom Fries. It’s so stupid.
Didja also hear about how a restaurant called French’s got burned down during that time solely due to its name? Pepperidge Farm remembers
This isn’t even the first time it’s happened. During World War II, America became so hyper-nationalist and xenophobic that anything that had a German name was renamed to a more “patriotic” name: Hamburgers became “Liberty Burgers”, Sauerkraut became “Liberty Cabbage”, Dachshunds became “Liberty Pups”, and many, MANY others. It got so damn ridiculous that the name of the disease “German Measles” became “Liberty Measles”, because a deadly disease HAS to become more “American”
Makes you wonder how this mentality made us any better than the also hyper-nationalist Germans.
might have made this post a couple years ago but how far back along the evolutionary tree do you have to go before it’s bestiality to have sex with early hominids? I think australopithecus is too far but that’s just an upper bound
actually wait since humans are largely differentiated from our ancestors by neotenous traits maybe it would be pedophilia for an australopithecus to have sex with a human. and bestiality the other way. might have just discovered a new kind of crime
i think everyone in the homo erectus group is close enough to not be bestiality, so australopithecus is exactly the most human-like being for whcih it would still be bestiality. i googled some pictures of homo ergaster and like…yeah thats a dude
Yeah, fucking lucy is definitely bestiality. Australopithecines are just upright apes and don’t share many traits with anatomically modern humans. It’s still a point of contention if we really know that Lucy and her kind were actually our ancestors. Additionally, I HAVE to ask my professors this question now and i can already feel their brain doing backflips to answer
My prof finally got back to me, a pretty non answer imo
only on tumblr to people ask questions like “would it be ethical to fuck my primate ancestor from 400,000 years ago?”
The answer is no, mainly because you’re almost defiantly related
the unexpected answer we all ignored: it’s not bestiality, but it isincest
So this post travelled from “is sex with homo habilis bestiality” to “sex with homo heidlebergensis is incest” and I’m now curious as to where it can go next. Presumably “sex with homo sapiens is SIN” which… does seem to be where a lot of tumblr posts go, come to think of it.
I’m not sure if fucking an australopithicus would necessarily be bestiality. I feel like it might be monsterfucking.
Great post everyone
I have some real bad news for anybody here whose criteria for “is it incest if I fuck them” is like “we share any genetic material” because oh boy, well
I heard that modern humans are all, at most, 50th cousins- there was a genetic bottleneck in human history because they think there was a mass extinction event which left only 10,000 of us alive. So, good job, humans.
So what you’re saying is it’s LESS incestuous to fuck an australopithicus than a homo sapiens
Guys, the important consideration is the one we cannot know without a time machine. if you ask an australopithecine if they want to fuck, do they say “Yes” in a language that some kind of universal translator can comprehend? Or do they say “EEEE eee eeee ooo eee?”
If they have language and can and do say yes, it’s monsterfucking. If they don’t, it’s bestiality.
Tumblr: As usual, tackling the important ethical issues of the day.
Can we just at least agree that, in this day and age, fucking most of them would be necrophilia?
