#what purpose do i serve in your life

“Because… it’s just… I have a girlfriend.” …

My first thought was that I wished he hadn’t told me. I thought it was unfair he was telling me about his girlfriend, and therefore making me partially responsible if we did end up having sex.

And then thinking more, I was surprised he actually had a girlfriend. I thought the frustration he expressed about the difficulty of pursuing women was indicative of him being hopelessly single.

And finally, from reading his articles, besides his intelligence, what I had really admired about his writing was essentially this feeling of how he seemed to uphold human dignity and the sacredness of human feeling and connection. And so it seemed unbelievable that he would cheat. That made me both disillusioned in him, and yet also sexually excited, because he was betraying those values. …

I wondered if this is just how men are, no matter how feminist and intelligent.

FRAGMENTVM “Adrien Brody,”what purpose did i serve in your life

“O eheu… id est… mulierem habeo.” …

Primum me velle eum non mihi dixisse cogito, et mulierem ita mihi immeritae nuntiatam esse ut nobis cubitibus consuetis ego quoque in culpa sim.

Tumque omnibus cogitatis forte miror eum mulierem habere, cum dixerit se frustra capere mulieres temptavisse et exemplum solitudinis videatur.

Atque verbis eius lectis cum magnum ingenium existimo tum admiror eum videri credere homines augustos et amari curarique dignos, quod eum indignum facit amatu varias: ergo haud mihi placet, sed ea re relicta tamen ardeo. …

Delibero num dictis omnibus omnes viri ad hunc modum agant.