#woman of color

Your Anxiety is Lying to You.  Microsoft Paint  

Something quick made in the span of a handful of hours.

On the heels of my freshman year in college, a relative took me to see a physician to give name to the symptoms I experienced.  Apathy towards the things I was once passionate about; slipping grades that alarmed a few teachers enough to speak with me privately; a perpetual feeling of sadness and anxiety, and a constant need to cry without any relief.  Grief, and the feeling that life had already ended.  That kind physician diagnosed me with depression and gave me a prescription.  This would mark the start of a long journey of stabilizing my mental health - one that I’m still trekking.

Over time, I’m coming to realize that the harsh internal voices and worries that bother me are not consistent with reality.  In fact, I’m discovering an awesome superpower - the ability to take those thoughts captive and counter them with truth.  It’s easier said than done: training the mind to do something it is unaccustomed to is quite the feat.   But I thank God for how far along He’s carried me on this journey, and I am grateful for slew of supportive friends and loved ones I have on my side.

More often than not, your anxiety is lying to you.  Its voice is loud and overwhelming, but I promise you, your voice has so much more power.    

Recovering Dreams.  Microsoft Paint.

A drawing that didn’t quite go in the direction I anticipated, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Still Dreaming.  Microsoft Paint

A semi-quick drawing to get into the swing of things.  It’s an homage to this ancient drawing.

Like many others, I have been meditating on recent events, and I have been thinking about what it means to be black in America.  As a black American, my heart aches to see the emergence of the justice that my ancestors, brothers, and sisters have been so direly deprived of.  As a Christian, I also want to understand what Christ-like forgiveness and love looks like without being flippant, passive, nor quick to disregard evil.  It is so easy to succumb to feeling like one is doing too little, or to be fueled by (warranted) rage and sadness.  I currently lack the words to communicate these thoughts clearly, but I hope that you consider helping in the cause:  blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/.

God bless.  Our lives - black lives - matter.

Pink Lemonade.  Microsoft Paint.

Wanted to go a different route with colors and experiment a bit!  Although I never personally wear pink, it is (obviously) one of my favorite colors to make art with.  Her hair was initially something more natural looking (with a purple undertone), but I couldn’t resist.

Hope you are all safe and happy!

Loved. Microsoft Paint.

A personal drawing between tasks.  Life has been turned absolutely upside down - classes online, restaurants closing, empty shelves where toilet paper once sat.  This is one of those moments where I am confronted by the fact that I am extraordinarily blessed, and that there are many things I ought not to take for granted.

It’s also been a forced sabbatical of sorts - a realignment of priorities.  And a time of unexpected joys and blessings.

I drew this because I was feeling overwhelmed by the friendship I’ve been shown by housemates and friends over the last few weeks.  I also drew this because - well, I’m a little lovesick.  I’ve recently started a relationship with someone absolutely lovely, and the whole ordeal has been filled with a ton of new feelings and questions - a trust exercise with God.  I’m still learning how to feel comfortable with feeling so happy.  

But that’s enough chatter!  Stay safe, regularly wash your hands for 20 or more seconds, and God bless!

It Gets Better, Microsoft Paint.

A drawing that I’m not particularly fond of, but wanted to finally finish after having it sit on my laptop for an eternity and a half.  I could write a lengthy post about the things that have transpired over the last few weeks - let’s not mention oronacay irusvay - but I’ve opted to keep this brief.  

Stay well, stay safe, please wash your hands regularly and cover your mouths when you cough, and God bless!