Developing your character’s mindset with a legit psychology theory

You have your characters, you’ve filled out your character sheets, but somehow - they don’t feel real. There’s *something* missing. So, using a really popular psychology theory from a book whose name I forgot - which basically says the brain is divided into 3 sections - The Parent, The Adult, and The Child.

#1. The Parent

The Parent part of your character’s mind is quite literally the voice of their parents or those who raised them - it is the firm set of ideals, thinking and innate personality - that is quite literally driven into their core. The Parent usually doesn’t change, it’s a constant reminder of who your character is, and what dictates a part of their actions.A character whose been raised vegetarian has their vegetarianism ingrained in their Parent so it’s unlikely they will ever compromise on that ideal. Likewise,an “evil” character’s Parent would probably say that murder is a-okay because that’s what they’ve been raised to believe.

#2. The Adult

The Adult is the part of your character that’s changing, growing and actively making decisions by taking in the world around them. It’s the part of their mind that’s unsure, something that makes decisions based not only on the Parent’s ideals, but also the world around them, the people and the current situation. In essence, it’s the way in which your character reacts, and the manner in which they will change over the course of the story. The Adult also determines how much of the Parent and how much of The Child controls their everyday life.

#3. The Child

The Child is the part of your brain that is emotion. It’s the part that’s immature, irrational, and still deeply affected by their past and trauma (if any) The Child shows their past, and the depth of their compassion, empathy, and love for others.

The ratio of how much of the Parent/Adult/Child your character is depends on them - a kinder, soft character probably has more Child than Parent, and vice versa! Also, please don’t quote me on this psychology theory - I only know it in brief

Hopefully most of you do not know the pain of losing a loved one. Statistically, we all lose loved ones, grandparents, parents, friends, pets… it can be difficult. And everybody deals with grief differently. 

There’s not really a wrong way to write the effects of a character’s death over time. But I’m going to do a quick list of some things I’ve experience in my own life so you can perhaps mix and match with other’s and get a more realistic feel. 

1.- A year later, I still flinch when I say “my parent’s house” as a pose to “my mother’s house”. It’s weird, because I don’t flinch or feel pain talking directly about my father, but those moments of normality that are no longer true, they sting. 

2.- It can really dampen cool moments. I should graduate this year from university. And everybody talks about bringing their parents. I chose not to participate in the formal event. I don’t want to wear a pointy hat and be handed a piece of paper in red ribbon, I don’t want to look down and know that somebody is missing. 

3.-Grief at weird times. At 1 in the morning on the first of 2022. I had this sudden realisation hit me, that 2021 was the first full year my father wasn’t around. And I felt like I was going to break down right then and there on the roof terrace of my flat playing with fireworks with my roommates. I held myself together and cried myself to sleep later that night. These very sudden realisations come and go as they please. 

4.- I hoard things he gave me. I hoard things that he once used. I have a book about birds that I’m never taking the bookmark out off because he put it there. Most of the things I hoard are insignificant, but once somebody is gone, well, literally everything they gave you is irreplaceable. Because they can never ever give you something else. 

5.- Spirituality. So, this may be controversial even if it certainly shouldn’t be but, I’m extremely atheist. Very science driven, very, death is it. One day we’ll all die and every thought we ever had will be gone and that’s it. Simple. I’ve never ever doubted that. But the death if somebody so close has definitely been the closest I could get. Do I stand outside alone at night staring up at the sky and whisper to the people who are no longer with us? Yes. Do I think anybody can hear me? No. But I can’t stop my soft whispers, they’re comforting, because admitting the very last words to my father are forever frozen in time is such a strange feeling… so I’ll continue whisper into heavens I don’t believe in. 

So… this was a heavy post. I’m very sorry if this was not enjoyable. I hope all of are you doing well. Death is a difficult thing to deal with and although it never truly goes away, it is less prominent, it is something we learnt to live with. Besides, how would we ever get motivated enough to finish a book if time weren’t limited? Let’s be optimistic here for a moment! 

As usual,  check out my book, stories I’ve written plus other social medias: here.

1.- Talking too much. Specifically, with adults. I see this a lot with hyperactive children. But a lot of us don’t grow out of this and I want my representation! Plus, this can be very fun and useful! You can use it for exposition and world building. It leaves plenty of room to hide small details. It also can give a lot of context about other character’s around them. 

When they start talking word after word for about a hundred words more than necessary to say they  are happy, do the other character’s seem entertained? Annoyed but say nothing? Annoyed and say it? Do they look like they’re not listening? Do they look like they’re listening but later on we find out they’re just really good at pretending to listen? So many possibilities! And how does the original character react to this? 

2.- Being terrible with names. I mean, as someone who once forgot the name of a co-worker I saw every day and had been working with for years, it’s kinda upsetting when character’s in books just hear it once and remember. 

Especially when I’m just dying to be reminded this character’s name because I forgot. It’s not only a very relatable character flaw, it’s useful for reminding readers of who’s who! Something a lot of authors don’t do enough of (including me, I know my characters better than my co-workers, so of course it’s obvious to me). 

3.- Hoarding. Not like to the point where’s it’s dangerous and a problem that needs to be solved, but to the point where you have a shoe box full of receipts from seven years ago for stuff that never had a guarantee. To the point where you have leaflets from concerts you went to at the age of ten and can’t throw away “because of the memories!” To the point where you have magazines because, “look at the pretty pictures! I can use that in scrap booking somewhere… some day.” Or stickers from when you were five years old that won’t even stick anymore. 

Again, lots of people do this, it’s relatable, but also, it gives you lots of opportunities to show us stuff about the character, about their past and how they’ve changed with time. Natural exposition baby! 

4.- Gets anxious when there’s too much noise, or too many people. Not as a plot point, not as a symptom of autism or something. Just normal, over stimulation. Because over stimulation can happen to anybody, and our ability to withstand it is different. 

This too can be useful, it can be a good way to separate two characters from the group. “Oh, I’ll go with her, you guys stay, don’t worry!” 

Also, it’d be nice to see a character realise the environments not good for them, communicate that calmly and leave before over stimulation. Like, you think after years of this shit I don’t know before things get too bad? You’d be right sometimes, but not all times. Sometimes I know my limits, and I never see that in media (if you know any media that does do this, tell me!). 

5.- Having zero sense of direction. Because after four years I still manage to get lost on my own street if I come in from a direction that isn’t the one I use every day and again, I want representation. 

Plus, you can have character’s get lost (especially in fantasy worlds with no GPS) as a way to discover new locations or send other characters to find them. 

I hope you found at least one of these ideas useful. Or, they inspired you to think of other good and not often seen character flaws. 

I want to state that I’ve used the word character “flaw” but that might not be entirely accurate for some of these I just can’t think of a more accurate word right now. 

As usual,  check out my book, stories I’ve written plus other social medias: here.

Which one of these can apply to one of you characters? What flaws did I miss out?