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The perfect magazine for dainty, vulnerable boys, insecure in their sexuality. Who just need that li

The perfect magazine for dainty, vulnerable boys, insecure in their sexuality. Who just need that little push, to let go and succumb to effeminacy and homosexuality forever!


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With father always having been so ashamed of me, it terrified me to imagine what he would think of m

With father always having been so ashamed of me, it terrified me to imagine what he would think of me when I was alone with mother… the makeup, skirts, dresses and my first exposure to her erotic magazines of men in the nude.





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To imagine if cell phones and such an app existed when I was a schoolboy. How we fairies at school w

To imagine if cell phones and such an app existed when I was a schoolboy. How we fairies at school would secretly find other fairies, and kiss behind the bike shed!




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To have seen such a movie as a sensitive, insecure young boy, would have been devastating. To have b

To have seen such a movie as a sensitive, insecure young boy, would have been devastating. To have been exposed to a character that could easily have been me, shamefully succumbing to unimaginable effeminacy & homosexuality, whilst all the while fearing that his friends will find out what a fairy he has become!



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Boyhood memories. Being the only white boys in class, however overt, it was always unsaid, how it wa

Boyhood memories. Being the only white boys in class, however overt, it was always unsaid, how it was felt that (because we really were) less masculine than the other boys, or rather much more like girls than we were like they. However much we kept to ourselves, there was always a fear that we would be beaten up, by our stronger, faster & more aggressive classmates. The worst part of the prospect of the humiliation, was the prospect of we white boys being shown to be fairies that we never fully acknowledged ourselves to be. To compare us from what we appeared to be like at school, to what we got up to over the weekend, says it all. Where the other boys played aggressively on the streets, in the privacy of one another’s houses, on many an occasion, you would have found us in dresses, watching Disney princess movies, 



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Something all boys who worry about everyone at school finding out that they are a fairy, can relate

Something all boys who worry about everyone at school finding out that they are a fairy, can relate to.




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Having been a shy, sensitive young boy, it is likely that whilst you had a main group of friends com

Having been a shy, sensitive young boy, it is likely that whilst you had a main group of friends comprised of other boys, they would never have known that your best friend was a girl. For me, it was a girl living a few doors down the street. This is a list of all the things you can relate to, having had a girl BFF!

1. The boys never found out that you were friends with her. You always able to managed to play off the occasions you were caught hanging out together, with minor teasing. “Only fairies are friends with girls” they would say!   

2. You referred to each other as sisters, and her parents referred to you both as “the girls”.

3. Where you never really enjoyed doing what the boys enjoyed doing, you loved dancing, singing and playing with dolls with your BFF.

4. Whilst a small number of other boys had somewhat longer hair than was acceptable for a boy, your’s was much longer. When everywhere else, your hair was typically boyish & scruffy, but with your best friend, it was pretty and perfectly maintained.

5. She was always more of a tomboy than you, where you were always the more “girly” one. Often sharing clothes, you were the one that preferred skirts and dresses.

6. Where “lesbian” was a word you both used as the ultimate insult to eachother, she was always the one with bi tendencies. You were the “straight girl” 

7. Even in seeing eachother naked countless times, it had never occurred to think of her as an object of romantic or sexual desire.

8. You both liked kissing, just so you could both pretend that the other was a boy from school that you had a crush on. These thoughts extended to holding and spooning each other throughout our sleepovers.

9. You often consoled each other as you cried, such as when your crush from school started dating one of the other girls from school.

10. On a few occasions, her feelings for you became more than that of a friend, but this would soon pass, as she would accept how “weird” & “uncomfortable” it make you, having a girl come on to you.





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To imagine if I had read this book as a young vulnerable boy, insecure in his precarious sexuality,

To imagine if I had read this book as a young vulnerable boy, insecure in his precarious sexuality, I would have been left in complete shock. The most devastating part would be the dreams that followed at night, and awaking with my bed sheets drenched in ecstasy!


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