#xfactor65

Apocalypse’s new goons, who brandish such Liefeldian designations as … Barrage,andFoxbat,andHarddrive, attack the X-Factor base, and during Jean’s astral confrontation with … Psynapse, this happens.

It seems Jean is finally regaining some of her telepathic abilities, and all it took was for someone to go into her head and start noodling around in there. Has she been without these powers ever since she was resurrected? Dang that was 65 issues ago! I can’t even remember what the explanation was for her losing these powers in the first place, but it hasn’t had much of an impact on her character. All of that energy and power just kind of got redirected into bending over backwards to facilitate having a relationship with Cyclops. That’s basically all she’s been doing for 65 issues. And it’s been …exhausting. Anyway, we’ll have to wait until next issue to observe the repercussions of this development.

These goons don’t seem like a match for the X-Men, but if all Apocalypse is trying to do is get his ship back, that seems like a more plausible goal. I don’t remember ship being included in the story after this point, so its days may be numbered. Or I have a bad memory. (X-Factor #65 – Apr 1991)

I appreciate these little callbacks to the X-Men’s origins, even if they are facilitated by Cyclops being super neurotic. Little scenes like this serve to not only memorialize the losses the X-Men have suffered over the years, but they also validate the history of the X-Men’s oldest stories which gives the whole series a sense of authenticity and realism. And honestly, after almost 30 years of comics, only three X-Men have been killed? That’s not bad! That’s better than Walmart, isn’t it? How many people have died on the job at Walmart? Never mind I don’t want to know. Hey speaking of authenticity, what is this shit!

SoLex Luthor made the Danger Roomand X-Factor’s coffee machine??? It wasn’t even Jim Lee this time! Stop drawing this shit in the panels you sexy new hot shot artists! (X-Factor #65 – Apr 1991)

I don’t know why I feel compelled to keep tabs on the relationships of these X-Factor characters. Maybe it’s because they all seem super awkward and I’m curious to see how they end, which will probably be silently whenever the writers change and the new writers won’t be bothered to acknowledge them. Or maybe it’s because I secretly yearn to be this happy and by hyper-focusing on them I can both live through them vicariously while ridiculing them in order to make myself feel safe and superior. Nah that can’t be it.

Oh my god someone needs to barf all over those frumpy overalls! I hope his ice sled crashes into a rusty saw blade factory and they all get tetanus! (X-Factor #65 – Apr 1991)

Here we meet a new rogues gallery of X-Factor antagonists. I wonder how long these dorks are going to last. I’ve never heard of them up before, and I can’t remember any of these characters having a role after this. Where did they even come from?

Well shit are these Apocalypse’s new horsemen? What happened to his old horsemen? Last we saw they were all drinking Sierra Mist and toasting to their failures. There’s like seven of these guys so I guess they can’t be horsemen. They are just a bunch of nobodies that Apocalypse hired to attack X-Factor because he’s butthurt about his spaceship betraying him. Why doesn’t he just go beat up the X-Men himself?? Why is he always hiring these nobodies to do things for him?? He’s like the most powerful mutant in existence but he has to get Hardriveto do his fighting for him?? Like he could literally just walk into the ship, punch every member of X-Factor once, pick up the ship, and carry it back into space all by himself. Why are all of his plans so elaborate! Just go do it! (X-Factor #65 – Apr 1991)

The only reason I’m sticking with these last couple of X-Factor comics is because it will be over soon. The team is about to change completely and Peter David is about start writing. Like I did when I stopped reading Excalibur, I’m going to try to re-focus on the most important X-Men comics in an effort to speed up my reading. And X-Factor is my least favorite X-Men series anyway. It’s had its moments, but for the most part it’s seemed like the less essential and less interesting, tag-along X-Men book. While they’ll always hold a special place in my heart, the original X-Men have always been the least interesting X-Men, and aside from Archangel, who the writers basically changed into an edgelord, nothing has been done in this series to make these characters any more interesting. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even possible to do a super engaging story with the original X-Men. They are all so bland and self-obsessed. I guess it’s not like Wolverine isn’t self-obsessed, but he’s also a complete maniac which is more fun. I dunno. I do like reading about these characters, but I do it with the same hate-watch mentality that I employ when watching old episodes of Full House. I guess we’ll see what the MCU does with these characters. (X-Factor #65 – Apr 1991)