Oh hey medical ID bracelet I have to wear the rest of my life Today is a better day - mentally &

Oh hey medical ID bracelet I have to wear the rest of my life Today is a better day - mentally & physically. For the first time ever I drove to my psychiatrist appointment alone. Of course I experienced anxiety but I overcame it to come home and drink a cup of pumpkin spice coffee ☕️ Coffee = self care to me. Psychiatrist has been nagging me about my weight loss, as if I didn’t just have my tits full of tumors cut off of my body. I’ve been asked monthly if I’m bulimic for the past 6 years (one ED I have thankfully never suffered from) because I guess it’s hard to believe someone can be natural thin and suffer from emetophobia Also nagging me about getting blood work - I’m not there yet mentally, being afraid of needles and knowing it has to go into my leg/foot (fear of the unknown). Today a nurse asked me how I prepared for my Mastectomy at such a young age. I told her I didn’t, which is the truth. I didn’t know if I wanted Reconstruction until my plastic surgeon was literally marking me up in pre-op when I was pumped full of good drugs and thought “Fuck it, let’s do this!”. I packed a bag full of food (yes, that’s what was important to me) that I didn’t eat because the hospital food was amazing, bought a travel pillow for on the way home, and brought my Grandma’s Eagles blanket I sleep with every night since she passed away. I didn’t prepare meals ahead of time, didn’t buy surgical bras (which is why I’m STILL wearing bras from my 2014 lumpectomy), didn’t buy pillows - absolutely nothing. Why? I was in denial, some days I think I still am or maybe hearing I had breast cancer and getting over my biggest fear (surgery, specifically general anesthesia and 8.5 hours of it at that). I’m so lucky to have had my husband and family that first week of recovering. My husband for going out and buying me pillows before I came home, my family got bringing me things I needed and helping me. Very lucky. I’m very thankful I’m a stronger woman now #mastectomy #breastcancer #breastcancersurvivor #fightlikeagirl #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #agoraphobia #fear #ednos #edwarrior #edrecovery #bopo #bodypositive #loveyourself #positivevibes #pumpkinspice
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