I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet, but I’ve basically made Reactio

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet, but I’ve basically made Reaction Junkie the manager for my barely used okcupid account. He responds to people, trolling them when they’re awful enough. This time, he decided to offer some advice, in what I thought was a pretty gentle way. Of course, the guy did not handle that well.

In my okcupid profile picture, I’m looking totes adorbs wearing an LGBTerrific shirt with a rainbow on it and, over that, an open rainbow flannel. (Also a miniskirt and awesome teal tights and adorable chucks.) Y'all how cute I am, and who doesn’t like rainbow? Well, this guy, apparently.

I do say I’m interested in casual sex, but I also say I’m not interested in hookups or one night stands, and that I only want to have sex with/play with people who I would be friends with.

My favorite parts about this exchange are:

1.“Fucking rainbow bright”-How is that an insult?! That’s a pretty fantastic combination of words, and I may have to start going by it as a nickname. If my tumblr gets deleted, I’m totally having that as my next one. Also, he sent that message like 7 minutes later, which means he was still mad.
2.The idea that guys who want relationships apparently hate flannel and rainbows-What is that about? I could get if he was saying I wouldn’t get attention from men because I seem like a dyke (although that’s still dumb, and also, hello, not just into dudes), but what about flannel and rainbows implies I’m not relationship material? Will someone please explain!?
3.“Fucke”-This makes me think of old timey spelling, like shoppe, and that pleases me to no end. I may have to start spelling it like that.
4.The fact that he messaged me wanting to to text, and as soon as I rejected him, I’m cheap, unclean, and need to shave my face- Classic sour grapes. You don’t want me? OH FINE THEN YOU’RE UGLY AND FAT AND NO ONE WILL EVER WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU AND I’M GOING TO GO HATE MASTURBATE TO YOUR PICTURES NOW BYE
5.The fact that he implies he’s a lousy fuck-I believe him 100%
6.The suggestion to shave my mustache-Huh? I mean, yes. I have hair on my upper lip, like how mammals do. But it’s fine and blond, like all my hair, and none of my pictures are closeups of my face or have enough resolution that you could see the hair. Someone has some weird bullshit sexism going on about hair.

There was more to this conversation. Let me know if y'all want me to post some of it.