my part for the massive round robin we had at @kakairu-discord-server where both artist and writers collabed on chaotic cordless phone stories which turned out *chefs kiss*
Zhongli is the most ICONIC Genshin character and you can’t change my mind on this. Man gets sick of being a god so he fakes his death and then sees the random kid being accused of his own murder and is like “hey you wanna help me with the funeral arrangements” and then drags this poor kid along on the LONGEST shopping trip of their life, spending fourty minutes infodumping about ancient funeral techniques to each merchants trapped in the social interaction with him and then asking to buy everything they have he goes “money? LOL I have no concept of such thing” and ends up having someone else pay for him. He INSISTS on buying the absolute RAREST most EXPENSIVE things for his own fricken funeral and then makes the traveler climb up MOUNTAINS the find the rarest flowers in the world because “this funeral must be FIT for the greatest god of the seven uwu”. Then an ocean god tries to wipe out the kingdom and he just sits back sipping tea Kermit meme style as they fight for their lives because he’s “gotta see if these humans can handle themselves without him”. Throws an extravagant funeral for himself right afterwards and gives a two hour long eulogy about his own greatness. Absolute legend.
Concept: a small child whose imaginary friend is Superman. He talks to “Superman” all the time, completely unaware that Clark can in fact hear everything he’s saying. The child and associated adults are infinitely surprised when reply letters from Superman start appearing in their mailbox
[Image description: First image: a 50′s style suburbanite mom has opened the door to see Superman is in the doorway, waving as he enters and says “I heard there was spaghetti!” while a very excited young boy exclaims “You came!” Second image: Tags that read; #this is amazing and 100% correct #Clark would highkey do that #he’s one of those chaos gremlins whose main thing is being an all-american icon so as long as he acts completely earnest #he can get away with anything and nobody is sure if he’s fucking with them or not #if it were anybody else they’d assume they were #but c'mon #it’s superman #he’s truth justice and the american way and painfully earnest 100% of the time there’s no way he’s trolling you #or at least #no way anyone will ever believe you #bc Clark is doing this 80% to make that kid’s day and 20% to fuck with their parents #but he shows up all polite #‘thank you for inviting me ma'am I’ve heard great things about you from Kevin’ #'i brought pie i wasn’t sure what kind you’d prefer so here’s nine different flavors’ #there is no way the parents can say no after that point #and also no way to tell Clark is having the time of his life watching them scramble desperately to pretend they intentionally invited him #he breaks out the 'aww shucks ma'am’ and no one can say a single word against him #'who me? I’m just a harmless little himbo’ he says while cackling inside and revelling in the chaos he creates #anyway Steve Rogers does that too #we stan two kings
