#funny shit

shieldmaiden19:

notcaptainjack:

Look at the rest of you, being worked to an early grave for a pittance at best and company store credit at the worst, physical and mental health eroding daily, driven to despair by cold, unfeeling Powers That Be, all of whom would willingly sacrifice you if it means they can save a penny or two, clinging to the hope that months from now you’ll have a living wage.

It’s almost as if you need to fucking mutiny.

metalheadsforblacklivesmatter:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJcTPUCY/

-fae

metalheadsforblacklivesmatter:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJcvHso5/

I’m feeling very schadenfreude seeing the terrorists get what’s coming to them.

-fae

cloverpatchthecat:

mother-entropy:

purrfectly:

rosesetonfire:

every moment of every day i am thinking about this tiktok

Lumpfish come in a variety of shapes and colors.

[He scoops up the fish, it spits water and he turns it toward the camera]

This one is stumpy and green. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is what a normal lumpfish looks like. It is more elongated, but still a vibrant blue color. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is one of the stumpiest ones we have. Its hump is very high. It is very stumpy, but yet very beautiful, and very powerful.

[He pans over a lot of fish, all looking up at the camera]

My fish army is ever growing, and soon I will over throw the world. Very beautiful, very powerful.

because of this tiktok, i frequently murmur “very beautiful, very powerful” at myself, and i cannot recommend it enough.

This dude, the one who’s tiktok this video came from, is the greatest. The lumpfish dont flop all over the place like most fish would because theyre USED to being held, so they can be weighed and measured. He also keeps crabs, urchins, shrimp, lobsters, and starfish. He might have more, idk its been a while since I checked his tiktok.

But he’s pretty great and I love this video so much, very beautiful, very powerful.

Evidently there’s this thing going around where you assign each TF2 merc to a meme or whatever on your phone. So here goes nothing

Scout:

Soldier:

Pyro:

Demo:

Heavy:

Engie:

Medic:

Sniper:

Spy:

I laughed so hard when I saw this!

protoformx:

junjidorito:

demerzelolivaw:

actually THIS is my new favorite doesthedogdie comment

This is mine. It’s on turning red

this comment on a transformers comic page has always killed me

oingomyboingos:

effable-as-f:

smt1:

im at your girls house changing their pronouns

this is what the killers song is about

death2america:

also wear lingerie. next question

airsignz:

sleepy-bebby:

vergak:

giugirl743:

vergak:

aaays-and-bees:

vergak:

Zillow house listings

>go right

>go left instead (looks nice and fun!)

costumer: hi excuse me do you work here

me, has worked here for 3 years: idk let me get my manager :)

fmabscar:

some of you never had iced tea imported from england, lifeguards imported from spain, towels imported from turkey and turkey imported from maine and it shows

algrolo:

algrolo:

Scars are really cool and sexy but in this day and age how do you even get one without it being an accident

Looking for a sparring partner for various sword/knife/blade fights. Must be okay to injure each other, but not maim or kill. Looking to acquire some cool scars. Professionals or unskilled are both fine. Bonus if you too are looking for cool, new scars. Bring your own blades.

Contact me with solicitous offers

or just fall off a tree like the rest of us

…so it was a party trick after all!!!!!!!

nachosncheeze:

Blindspot 2x16 - Unspoken Dialogue 2

(Patterson is too damn observant)

(dedicated to @kate-dammit-runwhosepost about jane barging through weller’s doors made me snort earlier)

Bonus: Alternate final frame (Weller’s internal dialogue)