Alex Danvers x Reader

Word Count: 1833

Requested by: Anonymous

Trigger warnings for Schizophrenia, brief mentions of violence and general mental health issues

“Hey babe! How was your day today?” Alex asks with a smile as she opens the door to her apartment for you.

“It wasn’t too bad, but if I have to redo one more layout because Jimmy doesn’t like it I’m gonna push him out a window,” you joke and Alex just rolls her eyes.

“You know you love him, he’s your best friend,” she argues.

“Oh, I never said I didn’t love him. I’d die for the man. But he’s literally the worst person to work with,” you say with a laugh, setting the take out you bought on the counter and pulling Alex into my arms. “Enough about my unfortunate choice in best friends, how was your day?”

“It was fine. Same old thing as always. Today was pretty boring,” Alex says and you smile. You love how brave she is and you admire her desire to help people, but her job still scares the hell out of you and you’re always happy to hear she had a boring day. A boring day meant a safe day.

“Good,” you tease and she rolls her eyes again before leading you to the couch to watch Netflix as you eat.

You absentmindedly start dumping your fingers against your leg, trying to ground yourself a bit. Alex glances at your hand and sighs quietly. This has been happening more and more recently. You seem distraught and she can’t seem to figure out why.

“Love,” she calls softly and your head snaps up to meet her eyes, “are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” you say quickly, harsher than you intend it to be, but rather than apologizing you just cross your arms to keep your hands still and turn your head towards the TV. You breathe deeply, trying to get your emotions in check and Alex can hear it. She decides it best to just give you the time you need to sort it out yourself.

“Do you hear that?” you ask after a while, walking towards the front door.

“Hear what?” Alex says, confused as you look through the peephole, seeing an empty hallway.

“Huh. Nothing I guess. I thought I heard people in the hallway,” you shrug it off and Alex seems to accept that. You know somethings wrong, because even though you know there’s nobody out there, you can still hear them.

xxxxx

“Hey Alex!” you hear Kara’s excited voice as you and Alex enter the bar. She sends you a smile but quickly begins rambling off to Alex. Alex sends you an apologetic look but you just smile, pressing a quick kiss to the side of her head and giving the sisters time to catch up.

“Damn your girl got stolen quick,” Sam says as you walk over to their table and you shrug.

“Kara missed her I guess. It won’t kill me to be away from her for a minute. She’s happy,” you glance over, grinning at the smile Alex has on her face.

“Whipped,” Lena says through a fake cough and you roll your eyes.

“Don’t think I don’t see the heart eyes you’re shooting Kara, Luthor,” you say and she raises her hands in defeat.

“I’m going to go get Alex and I something to drink, anyone want anything?” you ask but they all shake their heads. You walk over to the bar and wait for the bartender to be available. You’re glancing at your phone when you hear someone yell your name. You jump and your head whips around the room. All your friends are engaged in conversations and the only reaction you see is the people near you giving you odd looks. You shake your head and try to tune the voices out. You hear your name a few more times as your waiting but subtle glances tell you that nobody is actually calling you. As you are handed your drinks the sound of your name is getting louder on repeat. You force yourself to tune it out until you feel a hand on your arm. You spin around so fast Alex has to take a step back.

“Woah, I didn’t mean to scare you. I called your name a few times,” she says and you smile casually.

“I guess I couldn’t hear you over the music,” you play it off and she furrows her brow even more.

“Love, there isn’t any music,” she says and a look of confusion flashes across your face before you school your features, realizing the rock music playing is only in your head.

“I know that. I’m just teasing. Here, I got you a drink,” you hand her one of the beers in your hand. She gives you a questioning look as the two of you start to walk back to your friends.

“Babe, are you feeling alright?” she asks slowly, clearly worried about what kind of reaction her words may pull from you. You just smile and throw your arm around her to pull her closer.

“I’m perfectly okay,” you promise and she nods to herself, dropping the subject as you two sit down. You down your entire beer in one go, hoping it’ll help you calm down.

“She knows you’re crazy” your head shoots up at the words and Kara notices from her seat across the table.

“You alright, y/n?” Kara asks.

“She knows too. You need to stop her before she tells everyone.”

“No!” you yell, slamming your fist down onto the table and now everyone’s staring at you.

“You’re not alright?” Kara clarifies gently and you can feel anger bubbling up in you. They all share nervous glances. You’re staring at the table and miss the way they all look to Alex for help, but she looks just as lost as they feel.

“Yeah. No! I’m fine! It’s just… I can’t…yeah, I’m fine. I just…I need a minute. I’ll be back,” you get up, quickly walking back to the bar, ordering a shot and downing it quickly. You stand there for a few minutes, calming your breathing before Alex appears again.

“What do you need?” she says gently and you glance at your friends who are all watching the interaction. She sees you starting to get more agitated and grabs your chin to turn you back to her. “Hey, just look at me. Tell me what you need.”

You fall into her arms, burying your face in her neck. She holds you tight, running her hand through your hair, “just make them stop staring at me.”

“Okay. Everything’s okay. I’ll talk to them. Just come back when you’re ready,” she tells you, waiting for you to be the first to pull away before walking to the table once again. You see her talking to them. James glances towards you again and you see her glare at him. You look away, waiting a few minutes and then rejoining the group silently.

Alex puts her arm around you, pulling you closer to her in the booth. You curl into her side as the others try to keep a conversation going. You listen here and there but everything is too loud. You soon tune them out completely, focussing only on the way Alex never lets you go.

“You’re crazy y/n,” a voice whispers and you tighten your hold around Alex’s waist.

“Hey, I’ve got you,” she whispers into your hair. She can feel you trembling and it breaks her heart. “Do you want to go home?”

At your nod she bids the others goodbye, making up some excuse about being tired. You send them a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes as she leads you out. When you reach her apartment the two of you silently make your way to the couch and she pulls you into her lap. You curl into her again, enjoying the silence for the first time that night. You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting there before you hear a voice again.

“You could take her. Just finish her off. You could do it. Just hurt her,” the voice sneers and you throw yourself away from Alex, scrambling to the other end of the couch and holding your head in your hands.

“What’s going on?” she asks. You shake your head but before you can say anything she’s talking again. “Don’t even start that right now. You’ve been off for days now. I don’t know what’s going on, and you don’t have to tell me, but please don’t lie to me.”

“You’ll think I’m crazy,” you whisper and when you look up at her you have tears streaming down your face.

“No I won’t. Whatever is happening we can figure it out together. Just please talk to me,” she begs and you nod, trying to find the words.

“I keep hearing…things. Noises that aren’t really happening, voices that aren’t really there. I don’t want to tell anyone. They’d think I was crazy and I’m not crazy! I just…get confused. At the bar I kept hearing people talking to me. I can’t tell what was real and what isn’t,” you explain quietly as she takes your hand.

“What kind of voices, love? What are they saying?”

“At first it was just someone saying my name, or people talking in the hallway that weren’t really there. At the bar I was hearing music that wasn’t playing, and sometimes I’ll hear a knocking on my door that I know isn’t real. Then it got worse. The voices started telling me to hurt people. They…they told me to hurt you,” you finish with a broken whisper and Alex pulls you into her arms again.

“Have you ever told a doctor about this, love?” she asks and you shake your head. “This sounds like schizophrenia. I think it would help to talk to a doctor. There’s medicines and treatments that can help you.”

“They told me not to,” you whisper.

“Who told you not to?” Alex says, a shiver running down her spine as she tries to stay calm. She’s not scared of you, but the situation is unsettling.

“The voices. They say you’re trying to trick me but I don’t think you are. You’re not trying to hurt me, are you?” you ask, your eyes wide in obvious fear. She cups your cheek, looking into your eyes, you can see the love in hers as she speaks.

“No. I am not going to hurt you. I will never hurt you, my love. Do you trust me?” she asks and you nod, “then you know how much I love you. You know I would never hurt you. If somebody in the bar came up to you and told you I was dangerous, would you believe them?”

“No!” you say quickly and she smiles a bit.

“Exactly. These voices are just strangers to you. They don’t know us, they don’t know you. You do not need to listen to them, alright? We’ll get through this,” she promises and you nod. You’ll get through this.

tag list: @rvgrsbrns@rororo06@freerebel@prizmix-and-friends@m19friend@worlds-in-words@5aftermidnight@riotmaximoff

MASTERLIST

So, since it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, I knew now that my masterlist wasn’t working. And since I changed the name of the blog, it was kind of expected (if you got here when it was all bush and desert, you’re a veteran and I love you as part of my family).

So I basically had to relearn how to update my blog again and update my masterlist and link to every fanfic ever posted, because apparently tumblr doesn’t do this job alone.

So here they are. Duly updated and functional. I have a separate list for Diana Prince because at the time I got a lot of requests for her, so..

Masterlist Diana Prince x reader

Masterlist

I also intend to update the fanfics and change the name of the reader (yes, I use a name, because Y/N hits a visual nerve of mine, besides not being practical for people who use screen reader). At the time I chose the name Angel, it had to do with the blog name and because, you know, angels are neutral and have no gender or race and I thought that way I would be including everyone and not offending anyone. However, Angel seems to be a common name in the US (in my country it’s used as a pet/nick name, like ‘honey’). I’m probably going to use a name making it up (like Atara) and I don’t know, you guys can make a petition too, I don’t know. Let me know what to do to make you happy.

Dating Alex Danvers headcanons

*sfw and nsfw*

Wip

• Alex’s love language is physical touch. Prepare for small touches throughout the day. You can be cooking and Alex would grab you by your hips, pulling your hair back to reveal your neck while she place small kisses on you.
• Game nights are a must! Alex is a complete wiz at Mario Kart, winning almost every round until you throw puppy eyes at her, begging her to let you win. She, of course, lets you win a couple rounds(she couldn’t say no to those big beautiful eyes!)
• She’s extremely sappy and romantic
• She’s very jealous and overprotective, she will beat the shit out of anyone who stares at you for half a second too long
• If someone isn’t taking the hint that you’re not interested in them, she’ll pull you in for a really passionate kiss
• You tend to argue over stupid things and she will take it too far, sometimes leaving one of you storming out of your shared apartment
• SHE’S SO STUBBORN OMG
• She won’t stay mad for long because you’ll do or say something that makes her laugh in the middle of an arguement
• She can be really bad at communicating so she tries to make it up to you with kisses or flowers
• She’ll try to cook for you occasionally but it usually ends bad. One time she miraculously burnt kraft mac and cheese
• You ended up ordering takeout from big belly burgers
• She’s so loyal and has not once ever thought of leaving you
• She really genuinely loves you and wants nothing more to start a family with you

*nsfw*

• TEASING! she LOVES teasing you at unexpected moments, a slip of her fingers down your thigh while you two watch a movie or a slight nip of your ear at work. She enjoys seeing the way you get embarrassed and the light pink flush that appears on your face
• Sometimes she’ll go as far as sending you a spicy picture when she knows you’re busy
• She is most definitely a switch, she can easily go from topping you and hearing your pleas and moans to being completely under your control and shouting your name
• She can turn you on with just one look
• Alex is kind of vanilla when you first start dating because of her little experience but she’s willing to (almost) anything you introduce her too
• When Alex is “in the mood” you can tell because her eyes will open really wide and her voice will go up an octave
• She gets really embarrassed talking about anything sexual with anyone other than you
• When she smiles into a kiss or bites your lips in the middle of a kiss you’re done for
• Sometimes your sex life is interrupted by a call from the D.E.O. which makes you even more needy by the time she comes back from whatever mission she needed to tend to
• Sex with Alex is unpredictable, it can be really kinky + rough or it can be really intimate + gentle
• Not a headcanon but she has really nice hands

LOOK AT HER HAND OMG

Misty started making this in his sleep apparently , and I (Moss) finished it