So, since it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, I knew now that my masterlist wasn’t working. And since I changed the name of the blog, it was kind of expected (if you got here when it was all bush and desert, you’re a veteran and I love you as part of my family).
So I basically had to relearn how to update my blog again and update my masterlist and link to every fanfic ever posted, because apparently tumblr doesn’t do this job alone.
So here they are. Duly updated and functional. I have a separate list for Diana Prince because at the time I got a lot of requests for her, so..
I also intend to update the fanfics and change the name of the reader (yes, I use a name, because Y/N hits a visual nerve of mine, besides not being practical for people who use screen reader). At the time I chose the name Angel, it had to do with the blog name and because, you know, angels are neutral and have no gender or race and I thought that way I would be including everyone and not offending anyone. However, Angel seems to be a common name in the US (in my country it’s used as a pet/nick name, like ‘honey’). I’m probably going to use a name making it up (like Atara) and I don’t know, you guys can make a petition too, I don’t know. Let me know what to do to make you happy.
Mostly rambling and where I feel mentally under the cut to save y’all. But long story short, I’ve been feeling really disconnected recently, from both tumblr, art, and FFXIV in general. I want to get out of this headspace, but not sure how just yet.
I’m finding it increasingly harder to focus on tumblr anymore. The changes to the site that make it look like ass, aside, I just… feel like it’s so empty these days? Or maybe I’m just outside of too many circles now.
The XIV RP community feels different now, or again, maybe it’s me. I’m too old, I guess. I haven’t really RP’d in ages I feel, save for some stuff with close friends in Discord, not even in game. I can’t find a FC. It’s either I feel I don’t fit personally, or my characters don’t. I’m beginning to think it’s impossible to find what I’m looking for/need out of a RP group. Even RP aside, I find myself more often than not logging in and doing stuff alone, which triggers several days of me not even desiring to log in at all.
But… I don’t really have another game I feel I want to play either. And it’s certainly not that I want to give up on XIV, but I’m beginning to feel the same feeling I did in the final days of my RP ‘career’ on Aion (god that was so long ago). Has the XIV sphere really changed that much? I feel so lost.
I’m beginning to feel like I won’t find what I’m looking for unless I run the FC myself. But that’s such a huge undertaking and at the same time I feel I don’t have much to offer anyway. I’m just… craving the type of RP that focuses on character growth and story. A small group of like-minded people who consistently grow together, whether through big plot or just… repeated interaction, I dunno.
I did dig up my old twitter, finally putting it to use. When I stopped focusing on tumblr, I tried my hand at doing art for another fandom. Part of the reason I haven’t really advertised it here is, well, I assumed everyone who followed me here would really only be interested in XIV content. But I’ll be honest and say… I’m kinda tired of only doing art for one fandom, one game, whatever. I admittedly don’t really know much about twitter, nor how to balance creating interest in my art if it’s not singularly focused but. I’d like to try.
I really do need to do commissions. I’m still not in the greatest living situation and that money kept me afloat and kept my family off my back. I even made a new commission site and everything. I taught myself how to make Vtuber models recently, trying to tap into that market. But I’ve been gun-shy in advertising. Because I have… no real followers over on twitter and again, I feel that anyone left over here followed me for a specific type of content.
I just feel so disconnected lately, with everything. Watching streamers play co-op games with their friends, etc. I’m like, shit, I want to do that. Man maybe I’m just lonely, imagine that.
Ah well. If you read all this rambling and are curious, you can go peek at my twitter. I warn you, there’s not much there, and the stuff that is has no relation to XIV at all. Though I have considered reposting some of my old art over there. If you want to take a peek at my new commission site, it is also linked over there, though again, I haven’t begun to advertise. So I guess I consider myself… semi-open for them? A secret? Kinda?
I haven’t written here in a while. It’s mostly because I’ve just had nothing interesting to write about, and also cause I’ve been busy with schoolwork and the like. Second semester has been hell on my brain, let me tell you.
So, what have i been up to lately then? Well, I got more friendly with specific people at work. Recently I had my first bush party…well it wasn’t really a bush party, more like a small get together. We all brought our respective bottles of alcohol and got pleasantly drunk in a forest near our workplace. It felt real nice just hanging out with the guys, discussing silly things, talking gossip and getting tipsy. Highlight of the night was heading to the workplace before closing and talking with the cashiers. One of my friends says interesting things when he’s drunk.
Oh also there’s a girl at work I like, but I won’t talk about that right now because fuck writing about relationships right now.
BUTTERFLY KNIFE. Bought one of those recently. Not a real one, just a trainer because here in Canada we’re not allowed to have sharp objects that are quickly deploy-able. It’s still fun to practice on it regardless, especially because I have no intentions of stabbing anyone in the near future. So far I’ve learned how to do the Quick Open technique and the Zen Rollover. Very simple stuff, but I feel proud that I do those at least.
uhhh….what else has happened lately? Fuck I dunno. Guess it’s worth mentioning that my friends and I have plans to travel around Europe once we all graduate. Must say I’m excited for that, especially because it’ll satiate my desire to travel. Hungary, France, Germany…so much places I’d love to go and we’re making it happen. Hype!
I suppose that’s it for now. I’m still wide awake because insomnia and all, but that’s nothing I’m not used to. Here’s to another night of time well wasted!
when Katara confronts the man that killed her mother and she says that her mom lied about whom the last waterbender in the tribe was and he asks who it was really and she yells “ME.” and stops all of the rain?
Hey everyone! Im sorry that i have not been active in a really long time:( it’s been a rough year for me but i am back now and i am ready to bring this blog back from the dead!!
Howdy! I just wanted to tell you that I’m alive. But first, I often see around me talented people who do amazing things. They’re loved and supported. Usually it’s about artists, but… When I want to draw something, the result upsets me. Like, I know I need time for this, but I don’t think I’m good at it. So, I thinkI’lldropdrawing and focus on something else. I have doubts, I must have taken a wrong turn.
Speaking of content on fandom, this month I wanted to make editings/colorings, but in the end I messed up *sigh* The release of a new chapter is coming soon, so maybe I can do something for the next chapter. Besides, because of my doubts, I’m afraid I won’t be able to make as I want. On top of that, tumblr activity is poor, I rarely see arts or editings, but I often see memes. And I see people leaving *very sad* And that was, like, upsetting me even more…
About a month I didn’t do anything, these things make me even more sad. Now I feel better and maybe I can do something. Right now, I have a few unfinished works in my folder. I can’t finish cuz I don’t like shadings and how I did the animation :/ Anyways, my head is spinning from this shit, arghhh… At least, I’ll try to do something in the next month. So have a nice day, dudes!
