“Huh, this Alpha-17 guy seems pretty interesting! I’ll include him in this list of prompts. Oh, hey, ‘Alpha-17’ and 'Lunch’ came up with this randomized dice roll! I think I could write a one-shot based on that.”
“The lawyer is going to be there, right?” It wasn’t the first time Alpha had asked the question, but you were nervous enough that you didn’t mind the repetition.
“Yes, she said she would be attending the meeting in-person, to advocate for me.”
“Good.” Alpha gave a decisive nod. He had approved of Nora Czajak since she had first sent you a holomessage offering to represent your case.
“I’m not a public defender, but I take an interest in cases that are unusual, or ones in which I think the defendant made the right choice,” she had explained. “I think this case has the potential to be impactful, maybe even set a precedent for Senate workers who feel they’ve been abused. It may never make it to trial - in fact, that’s my main goal - but I would appreciate the chance to be part of it. I’ll represent you pro bono, of course.”
You had thanked Nora Czajak, especially since she had made that final offer. Free representation wasn’t common, especially for lawyers who represented clients like the ones her firm did. Still you had been hesitant when you called her back.
“There’s no guarantee that the Senate will even try to charge me with anything,” you had told her. “This is just a preliminary meeting to discuss what happened on Kamino, and how it affects my contract.”
The lawyer’s eyes had sharpened at that, but her voice stayed gentle. “You’re right: there’s no guarantee that the Senate will try to charge you. But there’s also no guarantee that they won’t. And If they’ve already mentioned contract negotiations, you’ll want me there. Or, if not me, then some other form of representation. I know it’s difficult to hear, but the Senate is a government authority in the middle of a war. The attack on Kamino was widely publicized and the Republic is being criticized. They need to put the blame on someone. Your main concern is to make sure it doesn’t end up on you.”
At length - and with much urging from Alpha - you had agreed, and Nora Czajak had taken on your case. He had liked her blunt speech and distrust of the Senate from the beginning, but she had truly won his loyalty when she had negotiated for him to be at the initial meeting and every one following.
“After all, his perspective is valuable,” she pointed out. “He has been your companion almost since you arrived on Kamino. He knows how the training processes work and he’s seen everything you’ve done for this report. More importantly, he was witness to the situation with your supervisor and was one of the first to respond during the battle. I feel very confident saying that he has earned the right to be present at these meetings.”
And so here Alpha was, fully armored and sitting beside you in your office. He had wanted to stand behind you, but you had refused to let him. First, it would look a bit too much like you were bringing a bodyguard to a holomeeting. That would give the wrong impression of how argumentative you planned on being, and it would relegate Alpha to the status of muscle rather than active participant.
Second, and slightly more important, Alpha towered over you when he was standing. If you were in the frame, his entire head would be cut out of the holo projection.
You had finally succeeded in getting him to sit down, but Alpha looked so incredibly grumpy in the frame beside you that you couldn’t help but laugh.
“You laughin’ at me, neverd’ika?” Alpha asked, glancing over at you with a wounded look on his face.
“Not at all,” you reassured, bumping his shoulder with yours. “Just thinking about how you’re going to scare the poor Senate assistant designated to go over our case.”
Alpha smiled at you for referring to it as ‘our’ case rather than just yours. He had insisted that the situation had been brought about by both of you rather than just you… though he maintained that the Senate was at the most fault.
“You look nice,” Alpha said abruptly. “Too fancy for a meeting with some di’kut, but… yeah. Anyway. When does this start again?”
“Any minute now,” you told him in an effort to keep from smiling like a love-sick idiot. You were, in fact, a love-sick idiot, but that didn’t mean that Alpha needed to know that. Instead, you channeled that energy into bouncing your non-broken leg as you strummed your fingers anxiously. Why hadn’t the meeting started yet?
“Hey, breathe,” Alpha reminded you, his large hand settling on top of your strumming fingers and your bouncing leg all at the same time. “Easy. I know neither of us like meetings much, but we’ll get through it together.”
“Together,” you agreed with a nod, your heart aching at the same time.
When the screen finally connected to the feed from Coruscant, you found yourself looking at a Nikto - impossible to tell whether they were male or female, though it didn’t truly matter - and Nora Czajak.
Nora looked furious, but when she greeted you and Alpha, her voice was as smooth and professional as ever. “I would like to present to both of you the honorable judge T'roir'krivov Oiplis.”
Alpha stiffened beside you as you blinked to hide your own shock. “A pleasure to meet you, Judge Oiplis.”
“Judge, I must once more protest against these proceedings,” Nora told the Nikto. “We were specifically told we would be having a preliminary meeting with a representative of the Senate’s administration offices, not a judge.”
“Your protests have been noted and recorded appropriately, Miss Czajak,” the judge told her, voice steady. “But we must press onward. Administrator, would you be so kind as to explain your involvement in the events leading up to the attack on Kamino?”
You looked at Nora before you did anything more, but she gave you a slight nod, so you did as Judge Oiplis had asked. The judge seemed particularly interested in how you had been the one to request the Kaminoans allow an unknown ship to pass through their security measures.
“I’m afraid it does seem rather conclusive, administrator,” the judge said regretfully. “The Kaminoans want to hold you personally responsible for the damages, as well as the loss of troopers and cadets. The Republic is in favor of putting you on trial for treason.”
Your stomach dropped. How had things gone so wrong so quickly? Alpha squeezed your hand, a menacing scowl on his face.
“You haven’t asked for my testimony yet, Judge,” he ground out, voice deeper than you had ever heard it.
Judge Oiplis glanced at him in curiosity. “Of course, how could I overlook that? Do you have anything to add?”
And Alpha started to speak, telling his side of things from the time you had arrived on Kamino. He talked about how you had thrown yourself into work with a focus that had made him worry about you. He told the judge how you had spoken with every contact the Republic had provided for you, then sought out new ones to give the most accurate representation of Kamino in your report. He spoke about the meals you had skipped, the late nights you had pulled.
You were flattered, but also wanted to sink through the floor at the grin Nora kept sending your way, waggling her eyebrows in a way that managed to look lascivious even through a holocall.
“All of that time and effort put into this report and her supervisor tried to have her booted off the project,” Alpha said eventually. “Not once, but several times. In fact, Brid tried to have her fired outright. She was made to question every order, kept on her toes every time the Senate contacted her. She may have been the one who made the final call to let that ship in, but every other part of the problem was a systemic failure on the part of the Senate. I think she’s just another unfortunate being who the Republic is trying to punish for their own failure. And though I’m just a lowly Captain and Advanced Recon Commando trainer for the Grand Army of the Republic, and my opinion holds no weight… I think she should be rewarded for identifying the system’s flaws before the Separatists chose a larger target. Maybe even Coruscant.”
“That is an excellent point, Captain Alpha-17,” Nora mused, pointedly emphasizing Alpha’s title. “It is clear that there is a breakdown in the Senate’s communication and security systems. If our hard-working administrator had, in fact, neglected to instruct Kamino to admit the ship, it is likely the Separatists would have tried to take advantage of those same weaknesses to attack another target. Maybe Coruscant, maybe not, but it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if some clever Coruscanti citizen were to realize how close the planet came to an attack…”
“If she had reported the breach through the proper channels, it would have been investigated and the problem solved,” Judge Oiplis countered.
“Would it have?” Nora asked, skepticism thick in her voice. “I think not. And why should an administrator who had been treated so poorly put her faith in the same system to help her? Besides, has anyone provided you with the frequency that was used to call Kamino and plant the instructions for the ship’s arrival?”
When the judge shook their head, Nora flipped her datapad around and displayed it. Judge Oiplis’ eyes widened. “That’s a Senate-specific frequency.”
“Exactly,” Nora said, tucking the datapad away once more. “Unless we expect every civilian to do layers of digging into every government communication, there is no way for the Senate to insist that the administrator had not done her due diligence in making sure the communication was legitimate.”
“Thank you all,” Judge Oiplis said. “I will review this information. We will have another call at this time next week to either gather additional information or discuss my decision on this matter, as needed. Until then…”
And the judge swept out of the room, leaving Nora alone. She beamed at the holoprojector. “That was perfect! Alpha, especially you!”
You turned to glance quizzically at Alpha. “How much of that was planned?”
“Systemic failure was mine,” Nora admitted openly. “And rewarded for identifying flaws and so on. The rest was all Alpha. I told him to tell the judge the truth, what he had seen in your time working on Kamino. And he did a beautiful job. Verymoving.”
A red tinge crept up Alpha’s neck, but he kept his gaze firmly on Nora. “What do you think the odds are that they’ll try to take it to court?”
“Low,” Nora said immediately, confidently. “Extremely low. I didn’t even usemy threat to sue them for attempted breach of contract - though that is still an option, by the way - because I’m so sure the case will be dropped.”
“Well, if you do decide to sue for breach of contract, let me know,” Alpha told her grimly. “I’ll testify.”
“Alpha…” you admonished with a weary sigh.
“I’ll keep that in mind, Captain,” Nora agreed, eyes bright with amusement as she turned them your way. “You’re a lucky girl to have such a good man in your life.”
You stammered out a flustered agreement and watched Alpha’s hand tighten on his thigh. Did the compliments bother him that badly, or was the reaction caused by the suggestive way Nora had phrased them? Either way, you cut yourself off so you wouldn’t make him more uncomfortable.
“All right,” Nora said, her all-business tone cutting through the tension of the silence that had stretched a beat too long for comfort. “You two relax for the rest of the night. I’ll be in contact with details about the next meeting. For now, go think about something else. Have fun for me!”
You stood too quickly, trying to ignore the sight of Nora Czajak’s wiggling eyebrows as she faded from the holoprojector’s blue-tinted image. Unfortunately, you had forgotten to factor in the lack of balance that came from having one leg in a cast and you began to topple forward.
Alpha caught you without any reaction, making the motion seem so wholly natural that you forgot to be embarrassed. “Easy there, little one. You did well.”
“I didn’t do anything,” you disagreed. “You did well. Thank you for saying all of that.”
“I just told the truth,” Alpha said, glancing away. You did the same, your face heating as your mind helpfully reminded you exactly what he had said. When Alpha spoke again, it was with the air of a man bringing up an unpleasant topic. “Are you ready to talk about what that meant?”
Ah, so it was an unpleasant topic after all. You tried to avoid his eyes, but it was hard. He had stayed sitting down while you stood, and you were close to the same height because of it. “I didn’t know there was going to be a judge. It means the Senate didn’t tell me everything.”
“It means the Senate set you up to take a fall,” Alpha told you. Now his eyes met yours, his gaze intent and piercing. It was too much, too close, and you wanted to look away, but you couldn’t. The raw honesty in his face held you, kept you staring back as the muscles danced in his jaw. “They’re going to blame you for everything, ruin your life and try to put you in prison, all so they can hide their own failures.”
“That seems a little dramatic,” you protested weakly. “They probably-”
“No,neverd’ika,” Alpha said, eyebrows flattening into a stern line. “I understand, you think the best of everyone, but you need to know this. The Senate doesn’t care about you. The Republic doesn’t care about you. War makes people do terrible things, especially when they’re in positions of authority like that. If the Republic has to choose between doing right by you or keeping the public’s trust by denying their mistakes, which will they choose?”
You could feel your expression change as a wave of cold fear washed through you at that. If Alpha was right - and he probably was - there was no chance that the Republic was going to let you walk away from this unscathed. The needs of one person against those of the entire Republic? It would be far easier to paint you as a traitor and be done with it. Your eyes fell to your feet as you considered that, but they darted up again as Alpha reached out to take your hand in his.
“I’m sorry, little one.” He seemed to be telling the truth. For once, his scarred face was filled with sympathy without an edge of mocking or the cruelty that could sneak in every now and again. His dark eyes were soft and sad, and you wanted more than anything to erase that look from them.
“Maybe prison won’t be so bad,” you offered half-heartedly.
The change that came over Alpha’s face was almost comical. His brow crinkled in confusion as bewilderment, realization, anger, and determination flashed across his face at incredible speed. His hand tightened around yours - too tight for a moment, but he relaxed his grip as soon as he realized.
When Alpha spoke, it was with a grit and unmoveable strength that told you he had no intentions of changing his mind. “You will never see the inside of a prison. You’ll never see the inside of a courtroom, if I have anything to say about it.”
“Alpha, you said it yourself,” you reminded him gently. “The Republic is going to try to paint me as the one at fault for all of this so they don’t lose the trust of every planet who swears loyalty to them. How am I supposed to fight against them when they’re trying so hard to take me down?”
“You aren’t fighting against them,” Alpha growled. “At least, not alone. I know a dozen men who would vouch for your character and I was there for most of the situation pre-attack. I’ll testify for you in a heartbeat. If that doesn’t work, I’ll threaten anyone who tries to push the issue.”
“All that means is that we would end up in prison together,” you said with a small smile.
“Nah,” he denied, sounding abruptly unconcerned. “If it comes to that, I’ll steal a ship and you and I will run to Wild Space. We’ll live away from the Republic if that’s what it takes.”
You didn’t want to encourage him, but as you sat there, listening to Alpha plan a hypothetical future for you both, you couldn’t help the broad smile that spread across your face. He saw the change in your expression and an answering smile crossed his face as he listed civilian jobs he thought you could each do. The fact that he clearly had no idea what a civilian job entailed only served to make you break into giggles.
“What, you don’t think I could be a water-watcher?” he asked, sounding playfully offended.
“I’m sure you could be,” you countered, “but I’m not sure what that even means. Are you watching to keep people from stealing the water? Are you trying to check that nothing comes out of it? Making sure it isn’t sentient?”
“All of ‘em,” he answered. “That’s why I’m the best.”
“You’re ridiculous… but if anyone could convince people to pay them to do it, you could,” you said, trying to keep any hint of inappropriate feeling from your face.
It was a challenge, especially sitting this close to Alpha when he was in one of his rare playful moods, and you ended up glancing down. Unfortunately, your gaze landed on where Alpha’s hand still held yours and he abruptly pulled away, clearing his throat.
“Now, we have most of a week before the judge calls back,” Alpha said, standing up and stretching his shoulders. “You can’t stay here by yourself all day and I have some work to get done. You’re coming with me to the ARC area. At least for today.”
“That’s probably not a good idea.” You didn’t enjoy turning him down so bluntly, but if Alpha had work to do, you would only be in the way.
“It’s not an idea at all, it’s the plan,” Alpha told you, passing you the crutches before he started moving toward the door of your office. “Come on.”
You stared at him for a moment, but positioned the crutches and followed him. Something in his expression warned you that Alpha wasn’t playing games. If your choices were between walking to the ARC area of your own volition or being carried like a child, you would rather walk, even if you had no interest in going to the destination.
Walking through the halls of Kamino was a little uncomfortable for you. It had been nearly a full month since the Separatist attack and much of life in the raised cities of Kamino had returned to normal. Training had been back in session for the past week and the platform that had been destroyed was already being rebuilt. The stilt itself had been largely undamaged, and could be repaired rather than replaced. Certain areas were still marked off with neat signs written in both Kaminoan and Basic, warning that structural instability could be present, but those areas were getting less common every day.
The biggest difference between pre- and post-attack for you was how you were being treated. Surprisingly, the difference didn’t stem from the Kaminoans. No, despite their attempts to use you as a way to force payment from the Republic, the Kaminoans treated you with the same polite, distant manner they always had. The biggest change was from the cadets.
Since you had first stepped foot on Kamino, the cadets had found you interesting enough to talk to and about. You had found their attention flattering, if a little overwhelming, but you weren’t egotistical enough to think it was due to anything other than being one of the first human females that these cadets had ever seen. Alpha had told you that almost verbatim the first day you had met him. For better or worse, the cadets watched you, followed you, and flirted with you any chance they got.
Or, more accurately, they usedto.
Now it was rare that a cadet would even look at you as you walked through the halls of Kamino. When one did, it was usually to eye you suspiciously before he walked away. When Alpha saw it, he wasn’t happy (you could tell by the muscle tensing in his jaw), but he didn’t speak up on your behalf, either.
You couldn’t blame them - Alpha or the cadets. You had hurt Kamino, took away the slight bit of safety the cadets felt here as they were learning to be soldiers. Of course they would treat you with suspicion. What proof did they have that you hadn’t brought the Separatists here on purpose? You would have been wary, yourself. And when one considered that they had lost brothers during the attack? Well, you understood why they had closed ranks, keeping their pain among brothers. Alpha understood it as well, which was why he was doing his best to overlook the new attitude among the young troopers.
You were broken out of those thoughts when you heard raised voices. You were getting close to the ARC area and the noise was coming from the area ahead. You glanced up at Alpha. The captain was frowning, but something about the angle of his brow told you that he didn’t know what was happening, either.
You would have told him to go ahead so he didn’t have to wait for your slower pace, but you were just around a corner from the ARC area and there was little point in it now. You picked up your pace as much as you dared and Alpha followed suit.
When you got to the doorway that led into the ARC’s training area, you found a group of cadets arguing with some of the ARCs-in-training. You kept pace with Alpha as well as you could, but when you heard some of the specifics of what they were saying, you stopped short.
“Don’t let her in there!”
“You can’t trust her! None of us can!”
“If she sees where the ARCs train, how long will it be before there’s another attack?”
“She risked her life to get intel for us during that fight,” Neyo told them, voice deadly.
Drift nodded, sounding more serious than you had ever heard him. “And she did everything possible to keep from becoming a hostage.”
“Yeah,” a tall boy added, looking at the crowd of disgruntled cadets. Three more cadets guarded the speaker’s back. They all looked vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t quite place them. “Why don’t you worry about the real threat here?”
A murmur of action ran through the group of cadets at that and they all began to push closer.
“That so?” one cadet asked with a smirk. “And who exactly is the real threat? You?”
“No, me,” Alpha announced, striding forward. You couldn’t see his face, standing behind him like you were, but he didn’t sound happy. “As a matter of fact, I’m the real threat to Kamino. Look up the rescinded order to stop incoming traffic to Kamino. It’s got my authorization code. Is there something you cadets wanted to say to me?”
Alpha had been lovely with you during the past month. He was kind, attentive, entertaining. He was comforting when you were feeling guilty over the loss of lives during the attack, but he also wouldn’t let you wallow in self-pity. You looked at him and saw a friend - someone you had deeper feelings for, but a friend more than anything.
That changed as you saw him now.
He was in full authority mode, standing there as Captain Alpha-17, trainer of the ARC troopers and trusted leader of troops for the Jedi. He was impossibly tall and broad, cutting an imposing figure even without the bulky plastoid plates of his armor. He stared the cadets down without the slightest hesitation, letting them choose exactly how they wanted to proceed. No matter what decision they made, he would deal with the outcome.
“And you don’t think she’s a traitor?” someone asked.
Alpha laughed. It was not a happy sound. “Kid, I’ve met the Chancellor, and he’s less dedicated to the Republic than she is. She’s no traitor.”
“But that’s what the Republic has said - that there’s a chance the attack was orchestrated from inside of Kamino.”
“How did you get access to the holonet?” Alpha asked him sharply. “You need to learn what news sources to trust. Whatever one wrote that isn’t worth your time. The truth - the real truth - is that the attack came from somewhere inside the Senate, not inside of Kamino.”
“Didn’t you teach us that the only people we can trust are brothers?” one cadet asked, looking more confused than angry now.
“Yes, absolutely,” Alpha told him with total confidence. “Can you trust me?”
The cadets nodded.
“And I trust her. So as long as you think my judgment is sound, I never want to hear another word about her being a traitor. I was there for what happened before the Seppies landed here, and I know the truth. There are people who want to hurt you, but none of them are in this room. Keep your eyes open and your wits sharp, but never forget who had your back when it cost them. Look at her leg. She paid that price with blood and bone. She’s a warrior, not a traitor.”
You struggled not to look away when the cadets glanced in your direction, but you managed to hold their gaze. They still didn’t look happy to see you, but they also didn’t look outright hostile anymore. It was an improvement, no matter how slight.
“Now get out of here,” Alpha ordered. “I know you’re supposed to be doing your own training, not hanging around the ARCs.”
The cadets dispersed, but four of them stayed behind - the same four who had spoken up on your behalf. Alpha motioned you to join them while the entire group entered the ARC area.
When you caught up, Alpha gestured to the four cadets. “Do you remember them?”
You smiled apologetically. “You all look so familiar… but I can’t place you. I’m sorry.”
“The last time we met, I believe you were suffering from a rather great deal of pain,” the cadet wearing goggles told you.
“And had carbon monoxide poisoning,” Alpha muttered.
You shot him a look, but smiled at the cadets as you introduced yourself and offered them your hand to shake.
The cadet with slightly longer hair than you were used to seeing spoke first. “My name is Hunter, ma’am. It’s nice to see you recovering.”
“I’m Wrecker,” said the tall boy who had threatened the other cadets. “You’re pretty.”
“Crosshair,” the thin cadet told you simply, rolling his eyes at his brother.
“And I am Tech,” the goggled one announced, just barely managing to pry his attention away from the datapad in his hand.
“I didn’t know they let cadets have datapads,” Drift said, glancing around Alpha’s shoulder.
“They do not,” Tech told him. “This particular datapad was discarded by a Kaminoan who believed it was unusable.”
“I guess it wasn’t?” Neyo asked.
“I repaired it with very little difficulty,” Tech replied, glancing at the screen once more.
“You four helped during the Separatist attack,” you said slowly. “I think I remember. You had blades you were throwing, and you had a gun.”
You pointed at Hunter and Crosshair in turn and both nodded. Alpha’s hand rested gently on your shoulder. “She still has trouble remembering what happened during the second half of the battle.”
“It comes back in bits and pieces,” you explained, trying to ignore Drift elbowing Bacara gleefully at Alpha’s casual touch. “But what are you doing here? Did you get an instant promotion to ARC troopers? You did handle yourselves well.”
“No, we’ve just liked keeping them around,” Monnk told you, slinging one arm around Crosshair and the other around Wrecker. Crosshair pushed his arm away while Wrecker tried to put the ARC into a headlock.
“We’ve been teaching them some useful tricks,” Alpha told you blandly, but you saw the warmth in his eyes when he nodded back at Hunter. Alpha had taken these cadets in as his own. You were glad to see the connections forming, especially between troopers as highly regarded as the ARCs and non-standard cadets like Hunter, Tech, Wrecker, and Crosshair.
“What’s going on out- Oh. Hey, Captain,” Faie greeted as you reached the section where most of the ARC training actually happened. “Are you back?”
“Yeah, and I’ve brought a visitor,” Alpha told him.
Monnk looked at you with an air of sympathy. “Should have known it was just a matter of time before the captain made you start doing drills with us. Brace yourself.”
“She’s not here to do drills, di’kut,” Alpha said with a scowl. “Her leg’s broken!”
“Sothat’s how you get out of drills,” Drift mused, grinning when Alpha shot him a glare.
“She’s going to be here observing,” he corrected. “So you’re all going to be on your best behavior. Right?”
“Yes, sir!” the four young cadets agreed immediately. The ARCs took a slightly different approach, agreeing lazily or - in Drift’s case - grinning at you as he sent an obnoxious wink in your direction.
“Drift,” Alpha sighed. “It’s not going to be a good day for you, is it.”
Drift grinned at him, too. “It’s always a good day when we have such a lovely guest watching ARC training. Maybe you should join us for a few exercises, show her what exactly you have to offer in the strength and physical fitness departments?”
“Eight laps, full kit,” Alpha barked, turning away from you while he issued instructions to the ARCs as well.
It was a good thing, too. You weren’t sure what kind of look you were wearing, but you were worried it would give you away far too easily. As you noticed the scarcely hidden glee on the ARCs’ faces, you sighed. It was going to be a long afternoon.
—
Author’s Note - I said I would post more chapters in May, remember? Obviously, I wasn’t able to wait too far into the month before I posted something!
It’s so lovely to be back, friends! Thank you to everyone who has continued being interested in this story despite the hiatus, or those who have just found this story and are interested in seeing where it goes! I hope you enjoyed, and I’ll be back with another update soon!
The sound of a hundred metal feet marching closer and closer.
The taste of adrenaline rolling over a tongue.
Darting across a space that is just too vast, too open. Unprotected.
A dull throbbing in a leg- chest- throat-
Pale fingers outstretched, failing to hide a sneer and cold silver eyes as it got harder and harder to breathe past the immense tightness in your throat…
You flew upright in bed, gasping loudly and fumbling with the comlink attached to your wrist. The sheets had hardly finished floating to rest in a puddle on your lap when the call went through.
“I-” you managed to take half a breath, swallowing with difficulty. “No-nothing. Nothing is wrong, Alpha. I’m- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- I just… Sorry.”
And you disconnected the call before he could say anything else. The room was dark, lit only by the comlink’s glowing face. You stared down at that small spot of brightness, noting absently that it was the middle of the night. You had only been asleep for a few hours before you had started to dream- well, have a nightmare, really.
But you didn’t want to think about that.
Instead, you forced your mind to focus on the comlink itself. It was an exact match to the one Alpha had given you in the cafeteria so long ago. Funny enough, you had ordered it to replace the one Alpha had given you to keep in touch with him. However, when yours had been destroyed during the Separatist attack, Alpha had insisted that you take this one.
The Separatist attack…
You sighed. It seemed that all mental paths were conspiring to take you to the one place you didn’t want to go.
Knowing full-well that you weren’t going to get back to sleep for a while, you switched on the small, bed-side lamp and sat staring at the wall, trying to quiet your mind. When a knock sounded at your door, you weren’t surprised, not really.
Wordlessly, you opened the door to let Alpha inside.
The ARC captain immediately made the room seem to shrink around his broad form. He settled on the chair by your bedside like it had been made for him. It may not have been, but he had been the one to place it there, taking up a guard shift over more than one of your naps when you had first been released from the medbay. He had certainly spent enough time in that chair. No wonder he seemed so comfortable in it.
Alpha didn’t speak, choosing instead to stare pointedly at the bed. Every muscle in your body screamed to go, to move, to run… but you obeyed his unspoken command and climbed back onto the mattress. The silence stretched. It didn’t put you enough at ease to grow drowsy, but it also didn’t grow tense enough to make you break it.
You didn’t have any way of knowing how long you had sat in the hush of your room when Alpha finally crossed his arms over his chest. “Bad dream?”
“Yeah.”
You hadn’t even considered being embarrassed by your admission, despite how much more - how much worse - Alpha had experienced. Throughout the process of your healing, Alpha had been fully supportive and understanding, and you were willing to tell him anything.
Well,almostanything.
“Happens to most soldiers, especially after their first combat,” Alpha said.
“I’m not a soldier, though,” you countered.
Alpha shrugged. “You handled yourself better than most shinies. Especially considering that you don’t have any of their training. But no matter how well you did, the bad dreams still come.”
You nodded, but didn’t say anything. There didn’t seem to be much to say to that. Alpha’s knowledge came from a place of personal understanding, so you trusted it implicitly.
“Do you want to go back to sleep or do you need to talk through it?” he asked.
With a sigh, you admitted, “I’m not sure. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to sleep right away, but I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you.”
“No, you did exactly the right thing,” Alpha said firmly. “I want to know what’s going on with you, neverd’ika - good, bad, anything. I need to know what’s happening so I can help. I’m here, so just tell me: how can I help? What do you need me to do?”
“I don’t know,” you hedged. “Can you just talk for a little while? How are you doing?”
Alpha watched you with a hint of a frown on his face, but began speaking a moment later. He didn’t talk about his own emotional state or any troubles he had handling the aftermath of the Separatist invasion - no, he mostly talked about the reconstruction efforts.
“We’re slowly working our way through to where the destroyed platform is,” he told you at one point. You grimaced, knowing how dangerous it was to travel between the platforms that had survived and the stilt that made up the base of the new platform. Alpha insisted on supervising the process, no matter how many times they told him he wasn’t needed there. “They’re still focused on preserving what they can of the corridors between platforms.”
You nodded anyway, knowing that Alpha’s interest in the reconstruction of the laboratories was how he was processing the attack. He had kept most of his reactions to the attack secured inside his mind rather than sharing them with you. But still, you saw the way his jaw tightened when he saw a group of cadets that was clearly one man short of a full squad. He frowned so fearsomely when he saw the gaps at the tables in the cafeteria that you had started to arrive later to meals. The spaces weren’t as noticeable then.
But he had slipped once when you were with him. You had joined him as he was observing one of the barracks. It had sustained heavy damages during the attack and the Kaminoans had started to work on making it safe again. Alpha didn’t trust any Kaminoan as far as he could throw them - probably less than that distance, honestly - and he wanted to check up on the process personally.
When you had stepped into the room, you found that most of the work had already been finished. There was a trooper sweeping the floor while a group of Kaminoans consulted with each other beside one long wall. Buried in the group was Lama Su, the Prime Minister of Kamino.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Alpha had shouted across the expanse, the harsh demand in his voice making you jump.
“Painting a wall, Captain,” one of the Kaminoans explained. You didn’t recognize him, but he clearly knew Alpha.
“Thekriff you are,” Alpha bit out. Something in his tone made you glance over at him. Alpha was watching the Kaminoans, gaze intent. His body was carefully relaxed, but you could see that the muscles in his neck were corded, standing out from his skin. “Back away.”
“Alpha,” you had murmured, setting a hand on his arm. He had thrown it off a moment later as he stalked forward to stand in front of the wall in question.
“The first one to touch this gets-"
You had cut through his threat swiftly, pushing yourself between Alpha and the Kaminoans. "What exactly is it that you’re painting over?"
"This graffiti,” Taun We said, gesturing gracefully to the wall.
You turned to look at it, grabbing Alpha’s wrist at the same time. He could have shaken you off easily, just as he had the first time, but he didn’t. Instead, his wrist had twisted in yours, moving until your fingers were laced together beside the rough weave of his kama.
It took a moment to process the shock of Alpha’s movement, and you stared blindly at the wall you were supposed to be seeing. When your surprise had passed, you had refocused on the section your eyes were directed toward.
…and your breath caught in your throat.
The ‘graffiti’ turned out to be a simple but stunning mural featuring a clone trooper helmet in front of a pair of crossed blaster rifles. Underneath were a mixture of names and CT numbers, written in painstakingly neat script.
You reached out with the hand not clasped in Alpha’s and traced the numbers '99’ on the wall. “Is this a memorial?”
Alpha didn’t say anything, but his hand tightened around yours.
“You cannot insist on humanizing the clones,” Taun We told you. “They are manufactured beings, products, and there is no need-"
"I think there’s a very great need,” you interrupted. “In fact, I think a mural on a wall is a poor thank-you to the troopers who gave their lives to ensure that the Separatists were repelled.”
“You are already the cause of much disruption,” Taun We warned. “Why are you attempting to cause even more disorder?”
“Tell me, how would your bottom line have done if the troopers stood back and let Ventress take the Fett genetic sample?”
Your question had hung heavy in the air, the Kaminoans looking down at you in the closest thing to disgust you had ever seen them display.
“We would have found another sample,” an unfamiliar male told you.
“Yes, but how long would it have taken to find another sample, create batches, and edit the genes as necessary?” you asked. “My guess is a year, maybe longer. And every day this laboratory isn’t producing troopers is a day on which you are losing millions of credits. You would probably make up for those losses, but could it be done in time to avoid the Republic finding another cloning service?”
“They would do no such thing,” Lama Su denied, pulling his head back in offense. “We have a contract.”
“Yes, I’ve seen it,” you agreed. “I especially liked the clause that allows the Republic to seek out alternate sources for troopers if the Kaminoan laboratories are unable to provide them.”
The Kaminoans glanced at each other, sharing their displeasure among the group. You didn’t especially care at the moment.
“So with all of this at stake, the fact that the troopers held off an army of Separatists, isn’t it fair to let them have this one memorial? A chance to remember their dead?” you pressed. “If they’re denied that chance, they could request much more. And I, in particular, would be thrilled to help them articulate their request.”
“Very well,” Lama Su agreed sourly. “They may have their graffiti. But do not make the mistake of thinking you can interfere with more of our training methods. We must have order and obedience from our clones, regardless of how the Republic may feel.”
Alpha’s grip on your hand felt tight enough to bruise, but it had loosened considerably as the Kaminoans left the barracks. The trooper who had been sweeping the construction debris came over, offering a salute to Alpha and a nod to you.
“Thank you for sticking up for us, sir,” he had said, gratitude filling his face. “Ma'am. It means a lot for the men to have something like this, a way to remember the ones who didn’t make it.”
“Don’t thank me, soldier,” Alpha had ordered, gaze intent on the list of names on the wall.
You had stayed to talk to the trooper for a while longer, but Alpha hadn’t let go of your hand until you were leaving the barracks.
“Are you okay?” Alpha asked.
You blinked at him, vaguely recognizing that he had interrupted his own story about the stilt city’s reconstruction. “Yeah, I think so. Why?”
“You’re fidgeting.”
His nod down at your hand made you frown, but Alpha was right - you were tapping your fingers in a frantic, unfamiliar beat against your thigh. You stopped the moment you realized it, but the forced stillness only made a hot, tangled ball of ugly energy rise in your chest.
“I- I’m not sure what that’s about,” you admitted, watching in utter detachment as you began to wiggle your foot from side to side as quickly as the motion could be done. “I just feel like I need to move.”
“Do you want to walk around?” Alpha asked, half-standing from his chair.
You did, more than almost anything… but the idea of seeing that bleak, distrustful look on the faces of the cadets made you shrink back. It had been happening since the attack, and you didn’t think you could handle it, not right now. “No, I… I’m okay.”
Alpha watched you closely, lowering himself back into the chair. “Are you ready to talk about it?”
“I don’t think so?” you guessed. Because it was a guess. You couldn’t honestly tell what you were feeling, besides that you were uncomfortable and on-edge.
“Talk to me, neverd'ika,”Alpha urged, his voice soft and persuasive in a way you never heard it. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I don’t know if I can, really, but I’ll try,” you agreed, feeling self-conscious as Alpha’s eyes focused on you. “I feel like… I have too much energy… but, at the same time, like I can’t go anywhere or do anything."
A silence fell and you chuckled self-deprecatingly. "That doesn’t make much sense, huh?”
“Makes perfect sense to me,” Alpha disagreed, still watching you closely. “What else?”
“I also feel like… like the room is too big, somehow.” That struck just the wrong chord and you struggled to take a full breath. Your arms came up to hug yourself. “Like I’m gonna get lost in it. Like I can’t control anything.”
“Do you have a heavy blanket?” Alpha asked, the question just odd enough to bring you back to yourself.
“Uh… no,” you said. “Are you cold?”
After giving you the driest look you had ever seen, Alpha shook his head. “It helps sometimes. A sweater, clothing, something to give you a sense of weight. You don’t have anything like that?”
“No,” you admitted, hugging yourself tighter and squeezing your eyes shut. Shipping things to Kamino was a long and arduous process, but you would make a note to get a heavy blanket sent to you. Assuming your next meeting with Judge Oiplis didn’t end with you getting sent away from Kamino and, more than likely, locked away in a prison of some kind.
Unsurprisingly, this train of thought wasn’t helping much. It was getting difficult to keep your breathing even and steady.
The bed lurched into an alarming angle and your immediate thought was that the platform holding your room was tipping into the storm-tossed oceans. When your eyes snapped open, you found that the room was still fully upright and not bound for the ocean, but Alpha was closer.
Muchcloser.
“Alpha?” you squeaked out.
“Lie down,” he ordered and you did it without a second thought.
The moment you were fully horizontal, Alpha shuffled closer to you, turning onto his side at the same time. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” you agreed immediately. It hadn’t even taken a moment for you to think over the question. You trusted Alpha more than anyone - more than you trusted yourself, most days.
A heavy arm crossed over your chest, his hand wrapping around your shoulder on the other side from where he was lying. The moment his forearm pressed against your skin, the tension dissipated from your muscles. From your waist to your sternum and up to your shoulder, Alpha’s arm served as a weight that managed to shrink the room and give you something to ground yourself in.
Your eyes drifted closed without your permission and you simply soaked in the peace and silence for longer than you could track. Eventually, Alpha stirred slightly, and you turned your head to look at him.
He had settled on his side facing you, one arm tucked under his head while the other provided you with the weight you had needed. Your bed was large enough to suit you, but there wasn’t room for two people to be far apart - especially when one of them was Alpha’s size. You were staring into his deep brown eyes from so close that you could see the way his pupils dilated in the low light.
“How are you feeling?” he murmured, voice still so deep that it vibrated up through his arm and across your entire torso.
“Better,” you replied, shocked at the languid relaxation in your voice. How had you ever been confused about the impact this would have on the situation? The weight of Alpha’s arm was amazing, a way to feel physically centered, grounded in this place and time in a way you had been struggling with since the attack. “Thank you, Alpha.”
A low laugh rumbled through his chest and across your torso. “No need to thank me, neverd’ika. This isn’t exactly a punishment.”
The end of his explanation ended with a tightness, a sense of tension in the air that made you start to frown, but you were too relaxed to follow up on that.
Instead, you admitted quietly, “I think I might fall asleep.”
“Good,” he told you, approval warming his voice. “You should.”
“Alpha?”
“Mmm?”
“Do you have nightmares?” you asked, your tiredness removing your filter.
“Most soldiers do,” Alpha replied simply. “Nothing different about me. I get ‘em sometimes. Not often anymore, but they happen.”
“If you want-” you started, pausing while you tried to build the courage you needed to finish it. He was watching you curiously, but you let your eyelids drift closed so you didn’t have to meet that gaze. “If you want, I could return the favor next time you have a nightmare.”
Alpha didn’t say anything and when you snuck a look at him from under your lashes, he was watching you with an odd softness in his expression. “I’ll keep that in mind, neverd’ika. Enough talking. I’ll stay until I know you’re asleep.”
You hummed an affirmative. Now that you had said what you needed to, the weariness had returned in full force and you were steadily losing the battle against sleep. Drowsily, you told Alpha, “Could stay longer if you want.”
If he answered, you didn’t hear it. You were gone as soon as you finished making your ill-advised offer, dropping into sleep like a stone into a pond - swiftly, silently, and without even a ripple.
The last thing you were aware of before the darkness closed over your head was the feeling of someone combing fingers through your hair.
—
A/N - Like I said, short chapter. Maybe the fluff makes up for it a bit? Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it! Thanks to those who have reblogged to help my work spread, and those who left comments or asks about this fic! I appreciate you!
Other works can be found on my masterlist or you can sign up for my taglist here!
It was an abrupt change: one moment, you were floating along, sleeping and unaware of your surroundings. You weren’t dreaming, but you could almost feel your body working to… to do something. You weren’t quite sure what it was, but it was something necessary, something it needed to do to keep going.
And then everything changed. You made some small motion - shifted your weight or twitched a toe - and the world came crashing back down. Everything hurt.
Everythinghurt.
For the first time in your life, you were horribly aware of the entire length of your throat leading down to your lungs. Letting out a breath stung - drawing one in was even worse. How badly had you been injured that it was painful to breathe?
You coughed lightly, more to counter the cold burning sensation in your lungs than out of any need to clear something from your throat, but that only made you aware of a dull ache in your abdomen and ribs.
You kicked your feet a bit, dissatisfied with the quality of everything at the moment. At that moment, speech was the last thing on your mind. You could only show how unhappy you were by moving your body. For an odd moment, you felt a kinship with infants, but all of those strange thoughts were knocked from your mind when your leg actually moved.
Despite what you tried, your ankle wouldn’t twist. Instead, your foot seemed locked in place. That was enough to send you into a panic for a reason you couldn’t explain, and you woke up all the way, launching yourself upward to stare down at your leg and foot.
Dimly, Alpha was aware of the cadets springing into action. Crosshair started firing at the mass of droids, every shot resulting in another droid hitting the ground. Tech tapped frantically at his datapad, muttering about diverting any droid reinforcements. Hunter reached to pull a pair of vibroblades from a belt looped around his waist, throwing them at the super battle droids in the area. Wrecker bowled a piece of Kaminoan lab equipment from across the room, knocking down over a dozen.
All of this was recognized as if over a great distance. The majority of Alpha’s focus was stolen by Ventress and the hold she had on Colt.
Colt was a good man. He oversaw Alpha’s work with the ARCs and while Alpha normally would have resented the supervision, Colt had been one of his earliest trainees.
Commander Colt had been skittish as a trainee and a bit clumsy, but energetic and headstrong. He had earned the name when another trainee had laughingly compared him to a fathier colt - wobbly, uncertain, fast, and unbelievably stubborn. He had grown into his energy, though - become one of the hardest-working troopers Alpha had ever met. If Colt didn’t know something, he worked until he figured it out, and he was never reluctant to ask questions when someone knew more than he did.
Yes, Colt was a good man, a strong commander, and a favorite vod. Alpha couldn’t let Colt die, especially not the same way he had almost died on that failure of a mission.
Even if the thought of seeing those cold eyes and that disgusted sneer made his jaw clench until it ached.
Since the title of this is half of a Mando'a phrase, I had to dissect the phrase as I tried to figure out exactly which words I needed. And, since I think better when I physically write things down, there has just been a piece of paper with different versions of ‘Haatyc or'arue jate'shya ori'sol aru'ike nuhaatyc’ on my couch since this chapter was posted.
Tidiness really isn’t my strong suit, as you can guess.
It was a simple sentence, even a helpful one. From those few words, Alpha knew that Ventress was on Kamino, he knew that she was at least partially behind this attack, and he knew where the droids intended to take you. He could plan an intercept route and release you from their captivity.
Unfortunately, his soldier’s mind - one he had honed over years of work and combat experience - was locked in a box in the back of his brain.
Most of his mind was occupied in struggling against a sea of roaring blankness. It threatened to rise out from the corners of his vision, blocking the steady stream of information from his HUD and overtaking his senses until all he knew was the panic.
With extreme effort, Alpha fought it back. You needed him right now, needed him more than ever. He couldn’t fail you, no matter how much the scar bisecting his eyebrow ached.
With a single sharp twist, Alpha planted his feet and tore the head off of the B1 he was fighting. When the droid dropped to lay sparking on the ground, he turned his attention to the proper order of combat. First, dispatch the threats in the immediate area. Next, help brothers with their opponents. Then, check the immediate area for other potential threats. Finally, help victims.
The steps were completed in moments, efficient and ruthless. Alpha focused on the rhythm of violence, a beat he had been practicing since he was decanted. The blank numbness threatening his mind receded, and it wasn’t until he stood in a droidless room that he paused to take a breath.
Writing PTSD was hard (I did way too much research about it), but the hardest part of this chapter was trying to give personality to the canon ARC commanders without stepping on existing characterization! I’m not overly familiar with Faie or Neyo in canon, so I was scouring articles trying to figure out a good way to represent them.
I was pleasantly surprised how many people were happy to see the baby Bad Batch in here! A lot of people didn’t seem to like the show overly much, and I was worried TBB would throw people out of the story. I haven’t gotten that particular complaint yet, though!
I know the PTSD scenes were a little jarring - sudden references to Jedi and mentions of an injury that didn’t happen here - but they were supposed to be! I wanted to do Alpha justice in this chapter. He’s a lethal, highly efficient soldier, but he’s human. He struggles. And here, he struggles a lot. Poor guy!
The moment the comlink connection dropped, the lights in your room came to life - not the sterile, pale lights you were used to seeing, but a dim red glow matched by a loud, buzzing alarm. Kamino was under attack and everyone was aware.
You finished getting dressed with shaking fingers, choosing simple, dark-colored clothing. Changing seemed frivolous, a needless luxury, but in all reality, leaving your room and walking into a known combat situation wearing only your pajamas would be stupid in the extreme.
You were probably ready in under a minute, but the adrenaline stretched that time into an hour. The rushing fear made you want to fling yourself headlong into the hallway outside of your quarters, but you made yourself take a breath and think logically. Disabling the automatic doors would allow you to control how quickly they opened, as well as how far. It was the work of a moment and could prevent you from being caught, so it was worth doing.
Turning the door mode to manual mode took a button and two switches, then you paused inside the door. You had your ear pressed against the chilled durasteel of the door, trying to hear anything on the other side. There was nothing that you could hear, but that didn’t mean that nothing was there. Alpha seemed to think this was a Separatist attack - droid armies didn’t breathe or fidget or make any of the small noises common to living things. Leaving your quarters had never been quite this dangerous before.
Still self-reblogging! If you ever read more of my works, you probably already know this fun fact, but bear with me.
You know that post talking about oddly specific tropes that always show up in a writer’s works? One of mine is carbon monoxide poisoning. I know I’ve written about it at least twice. When I was very small, my next door neighbors almost died from carbon monoxide poisoning and my parents’ explanation of what had happened terrifiedme. Before I went to sleep at night, I would ask if the carbon monoxide detector was working.
It’s funny what minor incidents make a strong impact on you!
Alpha-17 and fem!reader trying to live life on Kamino
Word Count: 4,600
Warnings: Plot incoming, but nothing too intense yet.
—
The comlink that Alpha had graciously gifted you was versatile and useful. Not only did it transmit short-range audio, video, and holoprojections, it also transmitted long-range audio and boasted a chronometric display so the wearer could keep easy track of the time.
For a civilian, it would have been useful. For a soldier, it was downright indulgent. And Alpha had chosen to give it to you rather than keep it for himself, switching to a cheaper, less useful model. He didn’t know yet, but you had ordered him an exact replacement. Outside deliveries to Kamino were rare, but you had been assured that it was on the way.
In any case, the chrono was what was holding your attention then. You were engrossed in a series of mental calculations, trying to decipher the time difference between Kamino and Coruscant.
Beside you, Alpha heaved an irritated sigh, glaring at the pair of cadets across the table. “She’s. Not. Interested. Do me a favor: tell all of your little friends that being a nat-born female on Kamino doesn’t make her want to hear your pathetic attempts at flirting.”
How long would the rest of lunch take? And then how long would it take to get back to your office? Assuming Alpha came along and you were only stopped by two groups of cadets, it would take roughly the amount of time it usually did.
“But Captain, how are we supposed to get better at flirting if we don’t practice?” the cheeky cadet asked.
“You aren’t,” Alpha told him bluntly. “The Kaminiiwant you to learn to fight, not flirt. Focus on learning to protect yourselves and your brothers. From the way you act around one disinterested female, you’ll need the fighting skills when one of you says something you shouldn’t to someone you shouldn’t.”
This chapter’s fun fact was that it was supposed to just be setting up for the attack on Kamino, but then the attack itself ended up being so long (three chapters, I believe!) that I had to cut a chapter and write this ending. It’s okay though; most of the cut material was written into the attack itself or later chapters!
Continued adventures of Alpha-17 and the fem!reader
Word Count: 5,600-ish
Warnings: Emotions. So many of them.
—
The architecture was strange on Kamino, you reflected, eying the spot where the rounded wall met the gray-toned carpet. Everywhere else in the galaxy placed an emphasis on ease of building and practicality of cleaning, but Kaminoans seemed to place a premium on seamlessness. You couldn’t actually detect the point where whoever had built the room had welded the durasteel pieces together. All Kaminoan architecture was like that - ‘ perfection in all things’ seemed to be their motto.
The overall impression should have been one of smooth perfection, but it hit the eye as something eerie, too flawless to be real. It gave everything in Tipoca City a sense of being removed from reality. Living here felt like a dream, but not a particularly good one.
This is the chapter of Gar Cabur I know better than any other. Not because it took me longer to write or anything, but because (in response to multiple requests) I’m writing a version of these events from Alpha’s POV. I’m not sure when that version will be finished or posted, but I am working on it!
