Some people have been asking if there’ll be a part two of Trespassing. To answer your questions, I’m not sure yet. When I first planned it out, I had no intentions to write any more for it. I also didn’t expect it to be so well liked. This isn’t to say that I absolutely won’t write another part anytime. It just means that, for the time being, I have no idea where I’d go with the narrative if I were to continue with it. If any of you have some ideas you want to share, shoot me a message.
Anyway, hope you enjoy this ball of feels. Have a good day! <3
Poe ducked behind a small cottage, making sure to steer clear of the flames engulfing it. He glanced around the left side but quickly retreated again as blaster fire shot near his head.
He waited for the barrage to slow before he made a break for the sand dune up ahead. If he could just get below it, he’d get a better place for shooting back. The First Order had taken control of most the village and burned it to the ground, killing the innocent citizens in their way.
“Dameron, get back to the ship! We need to leave, now! We got what we came for!” Snap shouted into his comm. For once, Poe listened, changing his plan to try and escape instead of fight back.
“On my way.”
He sprinted up and over the dune, stopping just as he got to the bottom, taking relief in the momentary cover from blaster fire. He ran a hand through his hair, inhaling deeply to catch his breath. He took one step forward, hand gripping his trusty weapon before he was tackled to the ground by an unknown body.
Poe wrestled with the stranger to get free, only to end up pinned to the ground by his wrists, a blaster pressed to the side of his skull.
“You move a muscle and I’ll blow your brains out,” a voice growled in his ear. He waited for them to lean back so he could see their face, although he already knew who it was.
“(Y/N), what are you doing,” he asked. Her grip faltered for a moment.
“I’m helping the winning team, what are you doing, Dameron? Fighting for a rebellion that’s on the wrong side of history?” She snapped, shifting her weight so she was straddling him with her legs and holding his hands with one of her own, the other pressing the blaster to his head.
“What lies are they feeding you (N/N)?” Poe asked, incredulously. “Can you really believe that the First Order is right? You really think the rebellion isn’t justified?”
(Y/N) was quiet for a moment, eyes hard with concentration. Poe opened his mouth to speak again but she cut him off.
“The rebellion abandoned me, Poe,” she stated, voice cold and unfeeling. “They left me to die without any remorse.”
Poe tried again to interject but was stopped.
“Believe me, I’m aware that I’ve sunk pretty low, but whatever you’re going to get, you deserve,” she snarled. Poe had never seen her so angry before.
“(Y/N), stop this. This isn’t who you-”
“Quiet! I’m the bad guy here, that’s fine. It isn’t my fault that the resistance took away everything I had and then left me in the dust. The First Order will bring justice, at last, to the galaxy, don’t you understand?” (Y/N) was shaking by then, hand gripping the weapon tighter so she wouldn’t drop it. The sounds of blaster fire in the background lessened, hinting that the village being attacked had lost the battle. The First Order had succeeded in extinguishing another spark of the rebellion.
“Sweetheart, please listen. You’ve been brainwashed. This isn’t you. I can take you home, we can help you-”
“It’s time to step up or step down, and there’s only one answer for me, Dameron. I’m standing up and fighting back because I know I’m right. And I’m ready as I’ll ever be. I’ll do what I have to.” By the end of her statement, her voice was cracking and tears were filling her eyes. She seemed as if she was trying to convince herself as well as him with her words.
It hit Poe that she was remembering who she used to be. That she didn’t want to do the things she was forced to. The First Order had taken over her mind to create an emotionless soldier and she was trying to break free. He didn’t seem to sense that it could be a trap, so he trusted it.
“Baby,” Poe muttered softly. Her hand stopped pinning his, allowing him to reach up and brush a strand of her hair out of her face. She let her blaster fall to the ground as she collapsed onto his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry into him. “Come back to me, sweetheart.”
“I want to go home,” she whispered, fingers tangled in his hair.
She leaned back, wiping the tears that had made their way down her cheeks. He got out from under her, sitting on the ground by her instead.
“Black Leader, where are you?” Snap’s voice asked through the comms again. Poe ignored it.
In a moment without thought, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, relishing in the feeling of her being so close again. She wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer.
Before he could notice, she reached to the ground, grabbing her blaster again. She kissed him harder, not really wanting to do what she was planning, but knowing she had to. Pulling back quickly, she brought the butt of the blaster to the side of his head with a loud thud. He fell to the ground, unconscious, ready to be taken to the main ship.
“I told you I was ready to do what had to be done,” she mumbled, wiping the back of her hand across her lips as a few stormtroopers walked over the dune to retrieve him. Kylo wanted to meet with him
I’m so sorry for disappearing for so long! I hope this short little thing can make up for that! <3
The heat was unbearable. Finn was almost ready to rip off his skin if he thought it’d cool him down for even a second. It also didn’t help that he was wearing that pilot’s jacket. Poe, that was his name. Finn wasn’t positive on whether or not he had survived the crash into Jakku.
The ex-stormtrooper trudged through the hot desert, sand finding its way into his boots. He felt something poking into his side painfully. He reached into the pocket of his new leather jacket to retrieve the nuisance.
To his surprise, what he held in his hand was a small metal disc. It was approximately the size of his palm, flat with round sides, topped off with a grand bronze lid carved with an intricate design of interlocking circles. It seemed to be some sort of holodisc. Though it looked was slightly different in appearance, it was still the kind you could record short holograms with. Maybe Finn could learn more about his rebel friend if he took a look inside.
He stopped and sat down next to a large sand dune, hoping the small amount of shade it provided could help take the edge off the heat. He wiped at the thick layer of perspiration on his brow and clicked open the disc, starting from the first recording.
The images shown popped up like a hologram, depicting a man, presumably the fighter pilot, Poe, and a lady. Poe had a hold of the woman’s hand, slowly spinning her in a circle as if the two were dancing. Just as quickly as the video had appeared, it faded to nothing.
Finn wanted to sit and watch more, but he knew he needed to continue walking or else he’d never find a place to properly rest. Or worse, he could get stuck out in the desert at night, utterly exhausted and unable to defend himself. Perfect prey for the swarms of gnaw-jars, carnivores that ran on six legs and feasted on warm blood. He stood up on shaky legs, continuing his trek, wondering about the woman with Poe.
Another hour seemed to pass (not that Finn could tell without his digitized stormtrooper gear) before he had to stop and take a breather. Against his better judgement, he opened the holodisc again, curiosity taking control.
The video started out shaky as if the recorder wasn’t holding the disc steadily when walking.
“Babe!” Poe called excitedly, finally holding the disc still.
“Yeah?” The same woman from the previous clip showed up in the hologram.
“What are we?” Poe asked, his smile was evident in his voice. The woman grinned.
“We’re pregnant,” she beamed.
“Hell yeah, we are!” Poe cheered. “So, what do you think? Boy or girl?”
“Girl,” she replied with a lopsided smirk.
“Oh, no way. Totally a boy,” Poe countered playfully.
“Wanna bet?” The woman implored, a mischievous glint in her eye that was visible even through the blue-tinted hologram. Finn could immediately tell that making wagers was a favourite activity of the couple.
“Twenty credits,” Poe said.
“You’re on,” the woman stretched out her hand. Poe reached out from behind the recorder and shook her hand before turning the disc off and ending the video.
Finn smiled for a moment, relishing in Poe’s happiness. It took a second for the horror to register in his mind, constantly sending a punch to his gut. For all he knew, Poe had died upon impact during the crash landing.
With a sinking heart, Finn continued onto the next hologram.
“You were right, (Y/N),” Poe’s voice came through before the recording even started. “It’s a girl.”
Finn paused. (Y/N). Her name was (Y/N).
“I owe you twenty credits,” Poe said as the video showed up. (Y/N) was laying in bed with a baby wrapped up in blankets in her arms. The smile on her face was the most peaceful thing Finn had seen in a long time. She looked up at the camera and blushed.
“Do you have to record everything?” She asked, brushing a lock of hair out of her face. Poe laughed softly behind the camera.
“Only the good parts,” he said, zooming in on the child in (Y/N)’s arms for a moment before zooming out again.
“Layla,” (Y/N) mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of the little human’s head.
“Layla?” Poe asked. (Y/N) nodded up at him. From that, Finn gathered that they hadn’t talked much about names for their new baby girl. “I love it. I love her.”
“She looks just like you.” (Y/N) giggled as Layla reached up and tugged on her hair with her chubby little hands.
“I bet she’ll be as smart as you, though,” Poe replied softly, reaching forward to gently run his finger against the newborn’s cheek. (Y/N) laughed again, sounding like a child who was just given a candy.
“She’ll be even smarter, what with having a pilot and a mechanic for parents and all,” she said, smile as bright and dazzling as the stars in the sky.
Poe made a hum of agreement before shutting off the recorder.
With another sigh, Finn pressed a button on the thin side of the disc, jumping to the last hologram on the device.
“You’re so adorable,” Poe said, aiming towards (Y/N), laying on the bed with a small child cuddled into her chest. It must have been an older version of Layla. She seemed around the age of three. “Both of you.”
(Y/N) looked up, pushing a lock of hair out of her face with a blush. “Stop that.”
Poe zoomed in on her face to tease her. She scowled playfully before he zoomed out to normal settings again. Little Layla stirred, rolling away from her mother’s embrace, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She smiled up at the person behind the disc.
“Papa,” she muttered sleepily, getting up and reaching out for a hug. Poe obliged.
While pulling Layla into him, (Y/N) snatched the disc from his hands.
“You never record yourself,” she countered when he made a noise of protest. She showed him as he knelt beside the bed in what appeared to be their shared room. His face was unshaven and he was still dressed in his bedclothes. “I can’t imagine why. You’re very handsome.”
Poe laughed awkwardly, Layla still clinging to him.
“Papa, I’m hungry,” Layla said in her soft, childish, voice. Poe stood up from his kneeling position and scooped her up in his arms, tossing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes while she laughed gleefully.
“Let’s get you some breakfast then, baby girl,” he smiled. Layla clawed at his loose nightshirt as he purposefully jostled her around with every step he took into the kitchen.
(Y/N) laughed behind the camera, then turned off the disc.
Finn felt an immense wave of sadness mixed with anger crash over him. Poe had looked so happy. He had a family, people he was trying to get home for. And now he was gone.
Feeling like he’d found something he shouldn’t have, like he was trespassing into unexplored regions, Finn knew he had to find (Y/N). She needed to know what happened to her lover, the father of her child.
Request(s): “Hey!!! I love Poe and ur account!!! So I was wondering if I could maybe get a Poe x reader where the reader hates Poe cuz he’s stuck up but gets to know him a bit better and starts to love him as well and gets really confused and angry? Its OK if no, but thanks!” - @nerdyemocrap
Warning(s): None (If I need to add some, let me know!)
I changed up the request just a tad bit amigo, hope you don’t mind! I really like how this turned out and my aim is for you to feel the same. <3
If one thing was true, it was that you hatedPoe Dameron. At least, that’s what you wanted people to think. It’s what you wanted everyone else to think, too. Everybody seemed to love him, with his irresistible charm and striking good looks. Your teammates liked to tease you about him being the perfect poster boy for the rebellion.
Yeah, the poster child for why no one should ever procreate, you’d think.
You despised the way he would feign humility when all he did was gloat, the way he’d walk into a room and immediately grab all the attention without even saying a word, the way he’d always grin at you with that award-winning smile. He made you want to punch a wall out of anger. Or that’s what you told yourself
More than once, he’d stolen your thunder, took the shot for you, swooped in and saved the day without being asked to. And, Maker, was he reckless. It seemed as if he never considered anyone else’s safety when in the air, it was all about him. That wasn’t something you had to lie to yourself about, though.
What made everything worse, was the fact that Poe Dameron actually made attempts to befriend you. Non-stop.
He’d walk up to you and start a conversation while you tried to fix your ship, or when you were eating dinner, or when you were in the command centre. It was like a never-ending barrage of Poe, Poe, Poe, and morePoe. Deep down, you didn’t mind it, but that didn’t mean you had to let everyone know.
“Hey (Y/N),” he walked up with a smirk as if he knew how much you didn’t like him and had decided to pester you anyway. “How’s my favourite pilot doing today?”
You scoffed. “I’m pretty sure you’re your own favourite pilot, Dameron.”
He chuckled and nodded, “I see you’re continuing the salty facade, as usual.”
You reached around for your wrench, climbing up onto the wing of your ship to tighten a couple loose panels that could cause unbalanced flight if you weren’t careful. You groaned when you realised you’d grabbed the wrong size for the bolts you were using. You glanced down to see Poe holding up the right one.
“Needing something?” He asked, smugly. You scowled, reaching down and attempted to snatch the tool from his hand. He pulled back so you couldn’t reach, tutting his tongue against the roof of his mouth to make a clicking noise.
“C’mon, Dameron, give me that,” you snapped angrily. He smiled innocently up at you.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, (Y/N),” he beamed toothily. You were about ready to leap down and smack that grin right off of him.
“Poe, now,” you demanded. His eyes held a sparkling glint as an idea struck him.
“On one condition,” he started. You rolled your eyes, sitting back on your heels.
“What?” You sighed, running a hand through your hair.
“You sit with me at dinner tonight,” he volunteered. You laughed aloud.
“In your dreams, flyboy,” you retorted, amused. He wasn’t kidding though.
“Alright, well, you can say goodbye to your tools then. I know a mechanic who could really use a new set right about now, and these all look perfect,” he teased, spinning his finger around your tool bag thoughtfully. You glared daggers at him.
“Fine,” you mumbled through gritted teeth.
“What was that?” He asked, his hand resting in the air above your bag.
“Fine, I’ll have dinner with you tonight,” you said louder. A smile broke out on his face, causing your face to heat up. You didn’t know why, but you didn’t like it. It was embarrassing.
“Perfect. I’ll meet you in the cantina later, then,” he said, reaching up to hand you the tool you needed. You frowned and watched as he sauntered away, success filling his gait with happiness while you were left defeated.
You huffed in annoyance as he finally disappeared from the hangar, leaving you to work on your X-wing.
“(Y/N)! Over here!” A voice called over the incessant chatter of the cantina. You glanced over to see Poe waving you down. You shot a desperate look over at your friend, begging them to pull you away, but all they did was push you closer to his table. You sighed, slowly treading over and slouching down on the stool.
“Good evening, sunshine,” he greeted with a smile. You nodded your hellos. Poe wasted no time in introducing you to the rest of Black Squadron. You sent them all a curt smile and quickly bit into your bread, trying your hardest to avoid speaking.
Soon enough, Poe became engrossed in a conversation with Snap, leaving you and Jessika to yourselves.
“He likes you, you know,” Jessika started. You shot her a confused glance. “He talks about you constantly. Heard many good things about you.”
“No, not from Poe you haven’t,” you laughed. Now it was Jessika’s turn to be dumbfounded.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been nothing but rude to him since we first met,” you explained. “But, I have a good reason.”
“No, no, I understand why. He’s a douche at times,” Jess smiled, taking a bite out of her own meal.
There was another awkward silence before she spoke again.
“He says you’re a good pilot, but he’d rather you be on the ground,” she said through a mouthful of food. Anger flared up inside you, the thought of him wanting you grounded causing your ears to turn red.
“Oh yeah?” You asked through gritted teeth. Jess swallowed hard to get her food down.
“Wait, not like that, he isn’t trying to say that he wants to keep you down or anything. He just knows you’re a skilled mechanic and he thinks being on base is safer than in the air,” Jessika was quick to defend him, noticing your change in attitude.
Just as soon as it had arrived, your anger subsided, leaving you wondering why in the Maker’s good galaxy would Poe Dameron want you safe on base. Before you could ask why your conversation was interrupted.
“Hey, (Y/N), did Poe ever tell you about the time he tried to ride a Runyip back on Yavin IV?” Snap laughed loudly, a smile lighting up his face. You glanced over at Poe whose face was red as a berry. Obviously, it was an embarrassing story, causing you to want to learn more.
“No, in fact, he hasn’t,” you grinned smugly over at him as Snap began to go into the storytelling zone, spilling every humiliating detail. You stared straight at Poe for the entire duration of the narrative, relishing in how miserable the cocky pilot looked. You don’t remember all of the tale, but you know it ended with a broken arm and a long lecture from Poe’s father.
Truly a tale to tell the grandchildren, you thought.
Wait, why were you thinking about grandchildren? That implied actually having kids of your own. And with Poe no less. You almost shuddered, glad you caught the error of your ways before you said something you’d regret.
After a night full of more stories, ranging from battles to childhood shenanigans, the Black Squadron decided to head to the hay for the night. You would have gone back to your quarters too if Poe hadn’t asked for you to accompany him on a nighttime stroll around the base
You almost declined, but the look of hope on his face prevented you from doing so. Thinking back on it, you wondered what the kriff had gotten into you. You’d never been affected by him before, so why now? What was happening to you? Were you actually starting to let yourself like him? Once again, you pushed away the thought. No way, no how, would you ever enjoy the presence of Poe Dameron, the most stuck-up pilot the Resistance had to offer. It wasn’t a smart thing to do in any way, shape, or form.
“So, am I ever going to get an explanation as to why you hate me so much?” He asked after a few moments of walking. His words froze you to the core, causing you to stop in your tracks. The truth was, you didn’t hate him. Not really. You just wanted to, oh so badly. But that didn’t mean you really truly hated him. He might be an annoyance, yes, but never someone you hated, no matter what you told yourself. You opened your mouth to answer him, but he cut you off. “Because, to me, it really doesn’t seem like you dislike me as much as you claim to. In fact, I’d say that you actually really like me. You just refuse to admit it.”
There it was, that snarky Poe Dameron that you knew all too well. The one that made your blood boil in your veins. “Maybe it’s because you make comments like that that makes me hate you,” you sneered.
“What? I’m just stating the obvious truth, (Y/N),” he defended.
“Whatever you say, prince charming,” you grumbled under your breath.
“I have a proposal for you,” he said. You rolled your eyes but let him continue. “I bet that I can make you fall for me in a month’s time.”
“Oh? And if you don’t?” You interrogated. He smiled.
“Then you get to humiliate me in any way you see fit,” he suggested. An evil grin spread across your lips, a glint in your eye.
“Alright, if you can’t get me to fall for you, then you get to run a lap around base soaking wet and in your underwear. AndI get to record it.”
The colour drained from Poe’s cheeks a little, but he nodded and outstretched his hand. “If I win the bet, you get to go on a date with me.”
You swallowed and reached your hand out to shake his. “Deal.”
Poe grinned again, making your stomach flutter for some unknown reason. You frowned as he stepped closer and pressed a kiss to your cheek, making you blush like crazy. “I’ll see you later then, (Y/N).”
I decided that I’ll start taking requests if anyone has some they want to see me write.
Comments = Content
“Ma’am, are you okay? You don’t look well,” the nurse asked. You pushed her away, nodding and standing up.
“I’m fine, I just…” You rushed out of the medbay, feeling sick to your stomach, but not because you were ill. None of the nurses followed you out, knowing you probably needed space after such shocking news.
“Hey (Y/N)!” A voice called as you left the medic centre. It was Finn. You sent him a small wave before turning away, leaving him standing alone and confused. You almost felt bad for leaving him in the dust, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care enough to turn back and apologize. You couldn’t handle any interaction right now. All you wanted to do was get to your cabin and try not to sob your heart out.
Stars, how would Poe react? Would he be mad? Would he leave you? Your mind raced with all the bad things that could happen when you told him. That brought up another question. How were you going to tell him this?
You wiped furiously at your eyes as you approached the doors to the quarters you shared with your partner. The tears burned as they fell down your cheeks. The heavy door slammed behind you as you entered.
You glanced at the clock, vision a little fuzzy from the waterworks you were trying to suppress. There was about an hour before Poe would come to the cabin for a quick run through the ‘fresher before heading to dinner in the cantina. Which meant that you had about an hour to figure out how you were supposed to break the news to him.
You spent the time getting cleaned up. You washed your face, trying to rid yourself of the red colouration and tear streaks, and you changed into cleaner clothes. You were trying to make yourself look as presentable as possible without overdoing. If you were about to be dealing with heartbreak, you were at least going to be doing it with grace and style. At least, that’s what you told yourself. You decided to spend the rest of the time sitting on the bed, finishing up some reports on your holopad to waste the time.
You heard the door open a while later, looking over to see Poe, who was tossing you a lazy, lopsided grin.
“Hey you,” he mumbled, wandering over to the bed to wrap his arms around you, pulling you up. You held back a squeal as you were lifted into the air. Poe finally placed you back on the ground, still holding you from behind, burying his face into your shoulder. “How was your day, gorgeous?”
“It was a day,” you sighed, feeling your nerves act up, your heartbeat pounding in your ears. Poe just hummed in agreement.
“I missed seeing you around the hangar today. Where’d you disappear to, huh?” Poe asked. You swallowed past the lump in your throat.
“I was with the General in the command centre,” you lied. Poe nodded, pressing a kiss to your neck.
“Sounds like a blast,” he said sarcastically. “Finn said he saw you coming out of the medbay. Said you looked upset.”
“Uh, yeah, it was nothing,” you fibbed. You couldn’t see his face, but you could tell Poe wasn’t buying it.
“It obviously wasn’t nothing. Want to talk about it? Did you hit your head on the inside of an X-wing again?” His tone was one of teasing, but you knew he was genuinely worried about you. You took a deep breath, pulling yourself away from his grasp to turn around and face him.
One look at your expression was enough to let him know that something wasn’t right. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”
You shook your head, feeling tears well up again. Poe made a move to step towards you but you moved back instead, not wanting to be near him in case he got angry.
“Poe, I-” your voice broke and a tear fell down your cheek. Your hand instinctively went to rest over your stomach. You swallowed again before continuing, “I’m pregnant.”
You studied his face as the words registered in his mind.
“What?”
“Surprise,” you muttered, using your hands for extra emphasis.
“Is it… is it mine?” He asked. You nodded slowly.
“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I understand if you’re upset or want to leave.” The words tumbled out of your mouth without you even thinking about them. You watched as Poe’s face turned to one of disbelief.
“Why in the world would I be upset?”
You didn’t answer, instead, opting to stare down at the ground. Did this mean he wasn’t mad?
“Hey, (Y/N), look at me,” Poe reached forward and placed his hand on your cheek, using his thumb to wipe away stray tears. He stepped forward, placing his other hand on your waist. You looked up at him, still nervous. “I’m not upset at all. And I’m not going to leave you.”
“You’re not?” You asked incredulously.
“Of course not! We’re having a baby!” He exclaimed. He seemed happy, and his award-winning smile proved it. You felt yourself grin just a little bit, too. You let out a breath you weren’t aware you’d been holding, the pressure on your chest finally dissipating. “This is amazing.”
He leaned down to press his lips against yours, excitement taking over his senses. He pulled you closer, not wanting to separate anytime soon.
“I love you,” Poe said. You hummed, heart swelling in your chest. “And our future kid.”
You giggled softly, resting your forehead against his. “I love you too, flyboy.”
“I’m gonna to be a dad,” he whispered under his breath, taking it all in. He seemed to like his new title. “And- and you’re going to be a mom.”
You nodded.
“Can I tell people?” Poe asked, eyes wide like a child who’d just walked past a candy store. You smiled bashfully, face turning red as you blushed.
“Sure,” you relented.
“Yes!” Poe cheered, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the door. “C’mon, let’s go get dinner and celebrate!”
You smiled even wider, if that was even possible, and followed after your enthusiastic lover.
“Huh, this Alpha-17 guy seems pretty interesting! I’ll include him in this list of prompts. Oh, hey, ‘Alpha-17’ and 'Lunch’ came up with this randomized dice roll! I think I could write a one-shot based on that.”
Warnings: ANGST (seriously, my beta reader didn’t talk to me for two days after she read it), conversations with a judge, contract specifications, and a lot of exposition.
“-So, you understand the terms as I have stated them, correct?” Judge Oplis asked, giving you a stern look even through the holoprojector.
“I understand, Judge,” you agreed.
“I don’t,” Alpha pitched in. “Repeat it for me one last time.”
A long-suffering look crossed Judge Oiplis’s face while Nora obviously struggled not to laugh openly in the background.
“Alpha,” you muttered admonishingly.
Alpha glanced over at you, shrugging even as his dark eyes gleamed in private amusement. “Sorry, but I’m just a simple trooper. I want to make sure we don’t have the chance for any more misunderstandings to happen.”
With that, he sat forward, staring into the holoprojector with such intensity that Judge Oiplis visibly flinched. “Not a problem, Captain, I can explain it again.”
Giving an imperious gesture, Alpha gestured for the judge to continue with their explanation. You shook your head at the clear threat Alpha had put into his tone, but he only patted your knee - too low for the holoprojector transmitter to pick up.
The resulting buzz of feeling from his touch - even through his gloves and the fabric of your pants - was so strong that you almost missed the judge’s second explanation, but you managed to regain your concentration somewhere along the way.
“You - both of you - have been officially cleared of any wrongdoing,” Oiplis explained. “That being said, the Kaminoans are understandably concerned about the future security of their compound. All transmissions between any Republic official and the outside galaxy are subject to screening by the Kaminoans.”
“Which one of the Kaminoans?” Alpha interrupted.
“That’s actually a good question,” Nora agreed. “There needs to be a designated person or department in charge of that. With your permission, Judge, I’ll reach out to the Senate and the officials on Kamino to see what we can figure out.”
Judge Oiplis nodded stiffly. “Very well, details to come later. In any case, communication may be monitored. You’ll continue to work on your report as you have, but under new supervision.”
“Has there been any news about Akridia Brid?” you asked, suddenly realizing the implications of that condition.
Looking fed up with all of you, Judge Oiplis said, “She has been found.”
“…Alive?” Alpha asked.
“Yes,” the judge confirmed, but carried on without any further explanation. “As I was saying, you will have a new supervisor. Your deadline has also been extended by several months, but the details of your assignment will be delivered by that new supervisor. The main purpose of this meeting is to tell you that you have been cleared of the charges, but that we may require your testimony in the future concerning this incident.”
“Yes, of course,” you agreed readily.
Alpha folded his arms over his chest, looking impossibly broad in full armor. “You already collected written and recorded statements from both of us. What more could you need?”
“It’s just a formality, really,” the judge bit out.
“Yes, but travel between Kamino and Coruscant can be inconvenient, if not outright dangerous during a galaxy-wide war,” Nora pointed out. “We’ll agree to future testimony if you can be more specific about how often they’ll be expected to travel to Coruscant and how much advance notice they’re given.”
“Very well,” Judge Oiplis confirmed, rubbing at the horns protruding from their forehead. “Miss Czajak and I will continue this meeting to work out the details. Do the two of you agree to everything else as stated?”
“Yes,” you affirmed and Alpha gave a tight nod beside you.
“I’ll be in touch when we get those details finalized,” Nora told you, reaching for the holoprojector on the other side of the call. “Expect to hear from me before the end of the week.”
And then they were gone.
You let out a deep, heartfelt sigh and Alpha glanced over at you. “Are you okay, neverd’ika?”
You nodded, smiling weakly. “Two holomeetings in two weeks about the potential of being put on trial for treason is just… a lot. But it’s a good thing you asked the judge to repeat everything again. I didn’t even think to clarify a lot of the details the first time.”
“Yeah, it ended up being a good idea,” Alpha agreed. A moment later, he smirked. “I just did it to piss off Oiplis.”
“I knew it,” you muttered. Alpha turned to you, laughter still spread thickly on his face, but the long-distance comm rang again before he could speak.
You checked the incoming transmission code, reporting, “It’s a Senate-specific frequency.”
Alpha’s shoulders tightened - not as if he was nervous, more as though he was preparing for whatever happened. “Answer it,” he advised, voice calm.
You did and were treated to the sight of a female Dug. She had gray skin and piercing yellow eyes, but her ear flaps flowed backward instead of extending beside her face in an intimidating display. It was as promising a start as you could hope for.
She smiled, the motion emphasizing the shorter barbels beside her mouth and under her square chin. “Hello! I don’t know if Judge Oiplis mentioned that I would be calling you?”
“He didn’t,” Alpha told her. “Who are you and why should we believe you?”
A look of solemn understanding passed over her face. “I understand your caution. I heard about the situation with Akridia Brid. A secure connection verification should have been transmitted to your personal comlink. I have the matching code here.”
After you had verified the code, she smiled again. “My name is Jaissussi Sirnes and I’m your new supervisor for this project.”
“Nice to meet you, Miss Sirnes,” you greeted politely as Alpha grumbled to himself.
“You can call me Jaiss if that’s easier,” she offered. “Are you free to talk over some changes to the reporting process or should…” Jaiss paused as she glanced over at Alpha. “…I can call back another time, if you need me to?”
“No, Jaiss, thank you. I would prefer to go over the changes sooner rather than later,” you said honestly. At the same time, you pushed Alpha’s thigh, hoping he would get the message to behave himself and stop intimidating your new supervisor. He didn’t move a bit, but he relaxed slightly in his seat.
“As I said, I’ll be your new supervisor for this project,” Jaiss repeated. “My goal here is to focus more on the opportunities of this assignment than the challenges that come along with it.”
“What kind of opportunities?” Alpha asked, suspicion written across his face. “Because her last supervisor, Brid, was interested in opportunities, too - every opportunity she could find or create to try to push her way into the report-writing process.”
“Not those opportunities,” Jaiss reassured. “Especially considering how Brid ended up.”
“Ended up?” you asked before Alpha could interrupt yet again. “We heard she was found alive.”
Jaiss watched you for a moment, yellow eyes bouncing between you and Alpha. Eventually, she sighed. “Listen, you seem like you both prefer bluntness, so I’ll tell you the truth as long as you do the same with me.”
“Refreshing change,” Alpha muttered.
“I think that would be best,” you told Jaiss.
With a glance between the two of you, Jaiss revealed, “Akridia Brid was found… while she was attempting to flee Coruscant.”
“She what?” you gasped while Alpha shifted in his seat.
Jaiss nodded conspiratorially. “I’m only telling you this because she was your supervisor and her actions had a direct impact on you both, but I would ask you to keep this to yourselves since it’s an active Senate investigation. Brid was accepting bribes from Klaanuc Dralnulo, the Kaminoan senator. He wanted you off the project for humanizing the clones, and was willing to pay to make sure that happened.”
“Does the Senate think either one had anything to do with the attack?” Alpha asked.
You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. The fact that he was asking Jaiss for information at all was a good sign, one that meant he didn’t actively distrust her. That was interesting, and Jaiss rose even more in your estimation.
“That’s the question,” Jaiss said, looking grim. “The Coruscant Guard captured Brid, but they weren’t able to get Dralnulo before he fled the planet. The Republic is trying to find him, but resources are scarce right now. Like I said, it’s an active investigation. The Senate is dedicated to finding out just how far the conspiracy between Dralnulo and Brid went.”
“So, what does this mean for her?” Alpha asked, tipping his head at you.
“For one thing, it means that the deadline has been extended,” Jaiss said, her yellow eyes meeting yours. “Officially, it’s extended four months beyond the original deadline date.”
“And unofficially?” you pressed, reading behind her words.
“Unofficially, you have as long as it takes,” she said with a shrug - an impressive gesture considering that all of her weight was held balanced on her powerful arms. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but the Senate is eager to keep you on this project. You have a lot of leverage here.”
Alpha crossed his arms, a fearsome frown hanging heavy on his brow. “Why exactly do they want to keep her here so badly?”
“Because they have no choice,” Jaiss said with a sympathetic grimace. “I’m sorry, this may be difficult to hear. The Republic originally tried to find a replacement for you. While Dralnulo was out of line by trying to have you removed from this project, some senators think he had a point. Your preliminary progress on the report has shown far more information on the mental and emotional well-being of the troopers than expected. Some people think you’re going too far, losing objectivity.”
“So the Republic doesn’t like hearing that their soldiers are thinking beings capable of feeling complex emotions? Is it offensive to them that those needs aren’t being met?” you demanded, stung by the implications of both your work and its impact. “Because - good! They shouldbe uncomfortable with that! Because it’s a bad thing we’re doing to millions of sentient beings!”
“I know, I agree completely,” Jaiss soothed as Alpha smoothed a hand over your forearm. “But to cut down on the likelihood of anyone claiming a lack of impartiality on your part, the Senate began searching for replacements.”
“And?” Alpha asked. “How many did they find who would be willing to come here and put in that much work for this project?”
“None,” Jaiss told him, nodding at both your surprised expression and Alpha’s knowing smirk. “No one else is willing to be in such a dangerous place, much less doing an assignment that is becoming infamous for how much effort it requires. So, like I said, the Republic is desperate to keep you there. They need you to continue this project, and they’re willing to give you whatever you need to stay here and do the work.”
“Tell ‘em you want ten thousand credits and your own transport ship,” Alpha muttered.
From the small smirk on Jaiss’s face, she had overheard Alpha’s advice. “I don’t know about any bonuses, but you have been cleared to receive hazard pay. It’s an additional seven percent of your salary.”
“I don’t want it,” you refused immediately, cutting through the confused and disbelieving protests from Jaiss and Alpha. “Men died in that attack. Two hundred and three of them. I may not have been the official cause of it, but I played a role in it. It seems wrong to profit from a tragedy, especially since these troopers experience nothing buthazards and they aren’t paid at all.”
“Denying that money doesn’t help them at all,” Alpha countered. “All you’re doing by letting the Republic keep the credits is to help them pay for another trooper.”
“I agree with the captain,” Jaiss interjected. “If you really don’t want the hazard pay, use it for something that helps the cadets.”
“Like what?” you asked, floored by the previously unconsidered suggestion.
Jaiss shrugged. “You would know better than I would. But, like most questions concerning the cadets, I think the best person to ask is the man sitting beside you.”
You glanced over at Alpha, who looked just as startled as you were… though his surprise was hidden under layers of suspicion and consideration. Maybe Alpha really was starting to trust Jaiss. Or, more likely, he was still in the process of gathering information about your new supervisor before he formed an opinion. You had noticed he constantly took in information, testing it against what he already knew to reaffirm everything.
“I think you’re probably right,” you agreed slowly. Alpha was an excellent resource, partially because he was so suspicious that he dug into everything. The other reason, of course, was that he was dependable and knew what he was talking about.
Alpha sent you a look. You could see the warmth in his expression because you knew him so well and were sitting so close. Jaiss, having neither of those benefits and seeing your interaction through a holoprojector besides, missed the entire thing.
Instead, she just smiled and gave a satisfied nod. “I’m glad you agree! I’ll send over a finalized version of your updated contract. Feel free to share it with your lawyer so she can check for anything out of place.”
Instantly, Alpha was back on edge. “Are you saying that’s something we should be worried about?"
"Not at all,” Jaiss denied instantly. “But a lawyer named Nora Czajak has been in contact with me, my office, and my supervisor, all over the span of a day. I told her we can’t share your contract with her - only you can choose to do that - but she seemed very suspicious of all of us.”
You nodded sympathetically. “She’s heard plenty about the situation with Brid. We’re all a little jumpy.”
“Understandable,” Jaiss acknowledged. “Well, if you do have anything you object to in the contract, have her bring it up with us. As I said, you have leverage right now.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks,” you replied, hoping you looked as grateful as you felt. This interaction was already more positive than any you had ever experienced with Brid.
“That’s all I have for you right now. I’ll be in touch after any contract negotiations. Until you submit a signed contract, don’t work on the report.” Jaiss’s yellow eyes watched you closely, letting the silence stretch until you nodded. “Good. It’s been a pleasure. I think we’ll work well together.”
“I do, too,” you told her, your reply honest as well as mannerly. You could be wrong, of course. Jaiss could turn out worse than Brid and it could all turn out terribly, but you didn’t get the feeling that would be the case. “I’m sure I’ll speak with you soon. Thanks for everything, Jaiss.”
“Of course, and please let me know if you need anything else.” Jaiss’s gaze shifted slightly over so that she was making eye contact with Alpha. “Nice to meet you as well, Captain.”
Alpha only grunted in reply, but it was one of his more polite grunts if that was something that could be said to exist. Without much more conversation, you disconnected the holotransmission and the office fell silent once more.
“Okay, what’s your honest opinion of Jaiss?” you asked, cutting straight to the heart of the matter rather than dancing around it.
Looking somewhere between amused and offended, Alpha said, “Do you really think I wouldn’t say anything if I thought your new supervisor was suspicious? No. I would have told you - and her - exactly what I thought was wrong with the situation.”
“That’s fair,” you agreed with a nod. Alpha had never bothered to hide his opinion before. It was extremely unlikely he would suddenly start doing so now. “Well, I trust your judgment. I’ll consider that a mark in her favor.”
“Good.” Alpha sat back slightly in his chair, his elbow brushing yours as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You know I would never let anything happen to you, neverd’ika.”
Your heart melted a bit at that, both the sentiment and the term of endearment. “I know you wouldn’t, Alpha.”
He bestowed a rare smile in your direction and you were suddenly terrified of the look that may be on your face.
You were falling and falling fast. And now that the fear of your potential treason trial was over, there was nothing holding you back from fixating on your feelings for the ARC captain. It was only a matter of time before you told Alpha how you felt and there was every chance it would be the end of your friendship. If the choice was between having him as a friend or not having him in your life at all, there was no question that you should keep quiet. The trouble was that you weren’t sure whether that was an option.
You sighed and glanced down at your hands, folded neatly in your lap. Not for the first time, you wished you could be as logical and in control of your emotions as Alpha himself.
“Let’s get out of here,” Alpha suggested, voice low and enticing as he rose from his chair. “You heard it: you aren’t supposed to do any more work until Czajak has looked over your contract and you’ve signed it. We could go to the new stilt. I’ll show you some of the improvements we’ve made.”
“I-” you hesitated. The pain you felt at turning him down was almost physical, but you were on-edge, struck by how much he had done to help you. You were going to lose control of your emotions if you didn’t get some distance soon. “No thank you, Alpha.”
“Why not?” he asked, a teasing grin crossing his scarred face. “Worried you’re going to fall into the ocean? I wouldn’t take you somewhere dangerous.”
You smiled, even though you wanted to cry at his sweetness. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Fine,” Alpha breezed, utterly unbothered. “Then come with me to the ARC area. The kids have been asking about you.”
The ‘kids’ were the young cadets who had helped you during the attack on Kamino. They had been fully accepted amongst the ARCs-in-training, and they liked to keep you updated as they got more proficient at different types of combat..
“No, thank you,” you refused, fiddling with the datapad on your desk to avoid meeting his eyes. You couldn’t actually remember saying ‘no’ to Alpha before. It wasn’t fun.
“Okay, then what do youwant to do?” Alpha asked, an edge of irritation entering his voice.
“I…” you frowned at the datapad, trying to think of a plausible excuse. It gave a helpful beep and offered an answer: Jaiss had sent you a copy of the contract. “I think I’m going to get started on reading the terms of my updated contract.”
“Why?” Alpha asked, sounding disgusted. “Leave it to Czajak. She’ll love it. She likes looking for reasons to fight with the Senate."
"There might be some things in it that are specific to my job,” you argued, warming to your subject. “Things she may not know.”
“Fine,” Alpha grumbled, sitting down beside you once more. “But I won’t be much help. I don’t know osik about contracts or negotiating them.”
You grimaced, the temptation to let him stay stronger than ever, but you needed a step back, a chance to breathe and think through everything. Carefully, voice and expression bland, you said, “Actually, I think it might be better if I looked it over by myself.”
“Are you sure?” Alpha asked.
You forced a smile in his direction. “Yeah. Go check on the stilt or do some training with the kids. I’ll take care of this.”
Alpha stood, seeming unusually hesitant. “Are you just trying to get rid of me so you can work without me stopping you?"
You chuckled slightly at the joke, shaking your head in a silent denial, but still didn’t meet his eyes. After a moment, he turned and moved toward the door.
”Neverd'ika?“ he asked quietly.
You glanced over, doing your best to wear the same expression you always did. It must not have been a successful attempt, because Alpha searched your face for a long moment before he gave a tiny nod, as if he had confirmed something to himself.
"You’ll let me know if you need anything, right?”
“Of course,” you told him, still wearing that unnatural-feeling smile.
Despite the way he hesitated before leaving the office, Alpha didn’t say a word in reply.
The moment you were alone, you dropped your head into your hands with a loud curse. Even when you were specifically trying not to, you had hurt Alpha’s feelings. You needed to figure things out quickly before you did even more damage.
You were too close to the situation to judge it with any real objectivity, but as far as you could figure out, there were two main categories your protests fell into: reasons you shouldn’t have feelings for Alpha, and reasons you shouldn’t tell him about those feelings.
To be fair, the first category held a very short list. The basics boiled down to that you had very little in common and that any relationship would have very little chance of having a future. Regardless of your contract being extended at least four additional months, your time here was limited. You treasured your friendship with Alpha, but perhaps it would be less painful for both of you if it remained a friendship and nothing more.
The other list was much longer. Alpha had already spent so much time and energy protecting you - first from the flirtatious cadets, then from the Separatists, and finally from the Republic. You would never want him to feel pressured into a relationship out of some need to continue protecting you… or worse, a twisted sense of guilt.
That was the big reason, but it seemed like the collection of smaller reasons grew longer every time you thought about it. What if your interest in him made Alpha feel uncomfortable? If he agreed to see where things went, your relationship could be a distraction to him. And would he get in trouble if the Kaminoans found out? Would you if the Republic found out? Would it undermine your report? Could he lose his position and be forced back into going on missions?
And even after all of that, he might still say no. You didn’t know if you could stomach the possibility of your friendship growing awkward. Assuming, of course, that he would still agree to be your friend.
You picked up the datapad with the contract still displayed on its screen. With a few taps, you had sent a copy of the contract to Nora. You told her that you were reading through it, but requested that she advise you on any changes she felt were necessary.
With that done, you pulled up the contract and started to read, pausing only to take a deep breath and mutter, “Keep it to yourself.”
You could only hope you would take your own advice.
—
When you stepped into the cafeteria the next morning, you knew it was with an unpleasantly exhausted look on your face.
No one said that, of course. The cadets were still wary of you and no one else spoke to you other than Limit and Drift. And Alpha, obviously.
Thinking about Alpha - even in such an abstract way - made your stomach twist uncomfortably. You had managed to avoid him the night before, claiming a headache after spending so much time looking at your proposed contract. Alpha had accepted that, letting you end the transmission without a single 'I told you so’. You had definitely upset him.
This was killing you. You had worked so hard to build a friendship with Alpha, and now you were working to remove the closeness you had cultivated so carefully. It was hurting him. It was hurting you as well, this slow-motion severing of ties forcing you to feel every twinge… but how could you complain when you were the cause of the pain?
As if your subconscious was trying to torture you, your eyes flicked automatically to the table you usually shared with Alpha. It was empty. Honestly, you would have been a little surprised if it hadn’t been. You didn’t typically take time to eat breakfast, opting for a protein bar in your office so you could work and eat at the same time.
You got your food and sat down, trying not to explore the textures of the first mouthful. Generally speaking with Kamino’s food, the less you tasted, the better you would be able to eat a substantial amount.
It was funny, you reflected. Your place at that exact table had marked a profound shift in your Kamino-based life. From being so scared at first that you were doing something wrong simply by existing in the middle of a group of soldiers-in-training to meeting Alpha and finding a place, and then to living in post-attack Kamino and trying to come to terms with everything that meant. This simple seat in the cafeteria seemed to have been the only constant over the last few months.
Besides Alpha, of course.
You gave in to the overwhelming urge and allowed yourself to think about Alpha. You had been sitting in this spot the first time you met him. He had chased away cadets and let you ask him a question. He had hurt your feelings in that first conversation, looking down on the cadets for flirting with you, assuring you it was just because you were the first female they had close contact with. With the perspective of time, he had just been his typical self - blunt and matter-of-fact. He always was.
But that wasn’t really true, was it? It was hard to remember and try to push aside the warmth and fondness that overlaid your memories of him, but Alpha had been different in that first meeting. He had been quiet and distant, and it was only then that you realized how much he had changed during the time you had known him. He was more at ease now, relaxed and teasing. Yes, he was protective of you - especially since the attack on Kamino - but he joked with you, cheered you up when you were tense, and had even comforted you when you were feeling out of sorts. Your friendship with Alpha was the most important thing in the universe to you… which made it even more frustrating that you couldn’t think of a way to save it.
When you were about halfway done struggling through your meal - trying to come up with some plan of what you would do that day - the doors to the cafeteria opened. That was strange in itself: the cafeteria had stopped serving breakfast since you had gotten your food and no one coming in now would get the chance to eat anything.
Alpha’s eyes locked with yours, but you couldn’t do anything more than stare stupidly at him while he crossed the space between you.
“Alpha?” you asked, speaking at the exact same time that he said your name slowly and sternly. “What are you doing here?”
“What are you?” he countered. “You never eat breakfast.”
“Ialways eat breakfast,” you told him. “I just don’t eat it in the cafeteria. I eat a protein bar in my office while I work.”
“What changed?”
“I ran out of protein bars.”
Alpha blew out a sigh, scrubbing a hand over his scarred face as he sat down across the table from you. “Is there a reason you didn’t call me?”
“You’re training the ARCs. That starts in the morning and you don’t get a break until mid-day, when you eat lunch with me. When would you have had time to come here?” You frowned as you realized the implications of that. “Wait, you’re supposed to be instructing right now. Why are you here?”
“Bacara saw you in here and mentioned it to me,” Alpha told you, crossing his arms across his massive chest. “Said you were alone in here. I have them doing their warmups while I came to make sure everything is okay.”
“Yeah, everything is fine,” you assured, willing yourself not to melt at his concern.
“Is it?”
The question made you frown and pull your eyes back to Alpha’s face. You didn’t know exactly when you had started looking away, subconsciously reluctant to look directly at him. You had to keep pulling away. It was your only chance to keep your friendship intact.
“Of course.” Was your voice even enough? You could hear a tremor in it, but you would always hear more than he would because it was your own voice. That was how this worked, wasn’t it? Surely he could hear that slight waver, the way your vocal cords were demanding that you tell him the truth…
You cleared your throat, hoping to push that nervous reluctance aside, and smiled in Alpha’s general direction. “You’re good to go back to training. Everything is fine, other than that I need to get a new box of protein bars shipped in.”
Alpha stared at you, eyes searching your face the way he had recently started to do. It was as if he couldn’t quite figure out what you were thinking, but was trying to see those thoughts anyway. He stood up and walked toward the door.
Before he took more than a few steps, you watched Alpha pause, tense, and wheel around. In moments, he was back, having walked around the table. You felt like you could hardly breathe as he sat heavily beside you.
“You said we were friends.”
You literally flinched from the hurt in his voice. “We are friends, Alpha. I promise, we are. And I don’t want to stop being friends. Stars, that’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid.”
He noticed the regret on your face when you said the last part of your explanation. Still, he didn’t comment directly on it. Instead, he set his jaw and asked, “Are you upset with me?”
“No, of course I’m not!” you protested.
Alpha’s voice cut through yours, low and deadly certain. “Because you’re acting like someone who’s upset. Do you blame me for the attack?”
“I think we both know that, if I blame anyone, I blame myself.”
“Then what?” Alpha asked, tension making his voice taut. “Are you angry that you got hurt? That I didn’t manage to kill Ventress?”
“No, Alpha,” you said, rubbing at the headache you could already feel forming between your eyebrows. How had the entire situation gone wrong so quickly? Everything was spiraling out of control and you were in a panic trying to stop it. “I’m not angry about any of that. It isn’t anything to do with the attack-”
“So you admit there isa cause,” Alpha said, sounding somewhere between triumphant and frustrated. “What is it?”
“I like you!” you snapped.
He didn’t react dramatically. Of course he didn’t. Alpha was a soldier, trained to expect anything from any given situation, and this was no exception. But his face went blank, turning into the mask of expectant neutrality that said he was waiting for his next set of orders. Other than the hint of confusion in his dark eyes, he looked as if you had told him it was snowing on Hoth.
You sighed, shaking your head in embarrassment. “There’s probably a better way I could have phrased that. I admire you deeply and I am starting to develop feelings for you. I treasure our friendship, and I don’t want to do anything that might hurt it or you. I also don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, which is why I was trying to get some distance. But I hurt you and I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry for that.”
With effort, you managed to cut yourself off, ending your rambling by biting your lip and twisting your fingers together in hopes that you wouldn’t fidget while you waited for him to say something.
“You have feelings for me?” Alpha asked, sounding stunned. “Romantic feelings?”
“Yes,” you admitted, giving yourself an extra long blink to indulge your cowardly urge to hide away from the vulnerability this situation was causing.
Alpha stared pensively at the door, jaw muscles dancing as if he was trying to speak and not speak at the same time. At last, he seemingly allowed himself to share his thoughts: “Poor choice on your part.”
While you were trying to process that statement - and the hurt that went along with it - Alpha stood from the table and disappeared through the cafeteria door.
You were alone then, all other occupants of the cafeteria having long since left. You couldn’t even begin to work through your emotions from the conversation; the abruptness and unpleasantness of it had left you in a state of near-shock. So you stayed in the cafeteria until you could bear to leave, sitting in the place where it had all began…
And where it had ended.
—
Author’s Note - I’m so sorry. I know this is a comfort fic for a lot of people, so if you need to vent/ask questions/demand answers, feel free to pm me! I have the next few chapters written and I can answer questions, just not in a public format so I don’t spoil anyone who doesn’t want to be spoiled.
This is NOT the end of Gar Cabur, I promise! I’ll be back soon with an update!
You can find other works on my masterlist or sign up for the taglist here.
Before you read: This should probably be considered chapter 13.5. Someone mentioned wanting to see the ARCs trying to set up you and Alpha. That’s what this chapter is, and it spans the time from when you first met the ARCs to the current time setting. Enjoy!
Word Count: 7,700 (oof)
Warnings: ARCs being stupid, attempted manipulation, some situations that could potentially trigger claustrophobia
There was, of course, her own name, but the men didn’t favor that one. They were clone troopers, and most men had some say in what their name ended up being. They had no interest in a name she hadn’t chosen.
Then there was her title. Administrator. A popular choice, but impersonal. It didn’t tell anyone anything about her other than what she did for the Republic. It worked in a pinch, but there were better options.
The most personal name option was neverd’ika, the way Captain Alpha-17 addressed her. Little civilian. Maybe it wasn’t as personal as it felt, but the way the captain said it turned it into something fond and far softer than the words themselves would make the name seem.
But the name the ARCs like best was the one they had come up with themselves. She had never been addressed by it, not directly. If all went well, she never would. No, the men called her ‘Alor’, if only so they could talk about her without drawing attention - or, on the captain’s part, suspicion.
She wasn’t alone, either. Captain Alpha-17 had his own ARC-given code name: Cabur.
Both the administrator and the captain had to have those code names so the ARCs could do what needed to be done…
Push them into giving in to their feelings.
The ARCs weren’t stupid. In fact, they had been chosen for their advanced training because they weren’tstupid. They knew something was up with the captain and his administrator. But they also knew that whatever was going on wasn’t nearly enough to make either one happy. And, most importantly, they knew nothing was going to happen if they didn’t give a little… encouragement.
It was a dangerous mission, fraught with too many hazards to count. From the horrors that would happen if they were caught to the look of betrayal the administrator would wear if they succeeded, the task took bravery and tenacity.
Good thing those were two pillars of being an ARC trooper.
—
Monnk worked on the smallest possible scale.
He hadn’t been the first ARC-in-training to meet her - that had been Neyo, the di’kut - but he had been one of the earlier ones. He had certainly met her earlier than Drift, which wasn’t saying much. If Alpha could have kept Drift from ever meeting her, he would have.
But Monnk didknow that she and Captain Alpha had first met sharing a meal in the mess, so his subtle efforts were just to mention that. He encouraged the captain to keep spending his mealtimes with her. He would keep anything from interrupting their meals together.
Too often, Monnk had intercepted cadets intent on interrupting the pair as they ate. He redirected them elsewhere with persuasion or threats. They weren’t as scared of him as they were of Alpha, but Monnk did his best and came up with some creative stuff, if he did say so himself.
Evenings were even more of a challenge. Since ARC training ended in the afternoons, it seemed like the entirety of Kamino came to Alpha with questions they had or small tasks they needed him to do. Monnk ran interference in those situations as well, and found himself becoming one of the most trusted sources for information from the cadets and well-acquainted with most of the officers stationed on Kamino. He also got a better idea why Alpha seemed as harsh as he was - even with Bacara taking on some of the tasks, Monnk always seemed to be busy keeping the heat off of the captain.
When he got the chance to speak with Alpha, Monnk pressed his luck and directly mentioned the meals he shared with the administrator, usually by pretending to have temporarily forgotten that arrangement. “Did you want to meet up during lunch to talk about-? Ah, sorry. I forgot you have a lunch partner. Lucky vod. We’ll figure it out later, then.”
So far, the captain hadn’t gotten angry about these little comments, but he didn’t seem to be particularly swayed by them, either.
Ah, well. Monnk would keep trying. Maybe he would turn up the intensity at some point, but this was enough for now. Anything more would be overkill.
—
“Drift, I swear to the gratii’la Maker that I’ll tear you to pieces if you don’t get us out of here right now!” the captain bellowed.
“Sorry, sir!” Drift apologized, only barely managing to keep the sound of his grin from showing in his voice. “The elevator just stopped! I don’t know what happened.”
Alpha continued shouting threats from behind the doors as Drift pulled his slicing kit out of the control panel. Drift tucked the kit neatly into the pouch on his belt as he chuckled at the occasional Mando’a obscenity the captain tossed into his tirade, half-wishing he could see his commanding officer’s face.
“Alpha!” the administrator chided, her voice only barely audible through the doors between them and Drift. “I’m sure he had nothing to do with it. Why would Drift want to get us stuck in an elevator?”
“What are youlaughing about?” Faie asked, approaching with Bacara. “Did you trick another cadet into calling a Kaminoan something inappropriate?”
“Not exactly,” Drift told him, beaming as the sound of quiet conversation reached his ears. They were talking, and that was the precursor to other things.
Bacara’s eyes traveled past Drift, widening as they scanned the panel and found it slightly askew. “Is that-?”
Drift pushed the panel fully back into place. “Alor and Cabur? Yeah.”
“Are you insane?” Faie hissed. “The captain’s gonna kill you.”
“We all knew it was just a matter of time,” Drift said flippantly. “But this might be enough to convince them.”
Bacara shouldered his way past Drift, clearly aiming for the panel while Drift hovered behind him, ready to pull his vodaway if he started to undo Drift’s hard work. Instead, Bacara just popped the panel open again, entered a long code into the miniscule keypad, and keyed in his datapad’s frequency.
Then he, Faie, and Drift watched as a grainy cam feed flickered to life on the small screen. The administrator and her captain were standing close - a necessary thing in such a confined space - but they weren’t touching. They were talking, though, and the captain was wearing the softest expression Drift had ever seen on his scarred face.
“Turn on the sound,” he urged. “I wanna hear what they’re saying.”
“I dunno,” Faie told him, eying the way the administrator’s hand settled lightly on the captain’s forearm. “Looks like a private conversation to me.”
“Exactly!” Drift told him, exasperated as he pressed what he guessed to be the correct button on the control panel.
It worked… in a way. A long beep came from the datapad, but it clearly had sounded inside of the elevator as well. Alpha and the administrator pulled apart, their conversation broken off as they glanced around.
“Osik,” Drift breathed, frowning when the expletive was repeated a second later from the screen. He had activated some kind of internal comm system.
Fortunately, Bacara had enough presence of mind to cover him and keep their self-instigated mission from being discovered. “Captain, it’s Bacara. Faie, Drift, and I are working to fix the elevator.”
Alpha snorted, his derision clear even through the tiny speaker of the datapad. “I’d rather not leave our safety to other people. Especially if Drift is one of those other people.”
He raised a large fist, clearly aiming for the control panel inside of the elevator as the administrator’s mouth fell into a stunned gape. Bacara made an aborted move toward the control panel and Drift had time to let out a panicked breath as Faie stared at him, wild-eyed. If Alpha destroyed an elevator that worked perfectly and had just been temporarily stalled, there would be hell to pay from the Kaminoans.
“Captain, wait!” he demanded, pushing the panel open once more, flicking a switch and pressing the four buttons necessary to restart power to the elevator. “We have it figured out now. The elevator will stop on the next floor down, then you can take it wherever you need to go.”
“Kriff that,” Alpha swore. “We’re taking the stairs from now on.”
And when the elevator doors opened on the next floor down, Alpha stomped out, leaving the administrator to trail in his wake.
Faie sighed, shaking his head at Drift. “You’re an idiot, vod. But I’ll give you this: I think I’ve figured out what I’m going to do for my push.”
Bacara disconnected his datapad and walked away with Faie, leaving Drift to put the panel back like he had found it. As he worked, Drift thought about his attempt, analyzing the successes and failures of it. Maybe it wasn’t the most elegant solution, but it hadn’t been a total loss, either.
He wouldn’t give up on it.
—
It didn’t take long for Faie to plan out his attempt. The most time-consuming part of the whole thing was waiting for the right situation to present itself. He needed to be in ARC training, working on defensive and offensive maneuvers, and he needed her to be there.
The administrator being in the ARC training area wasn’t exactly a rare thing, but it wasn’t common, either. That mirshepar'la report took up most of her time. Everyone knew it was busy work, a way of keeping the Senate occupied while the GAR and the troopers did the real work of fighting the Separatists. Well, maybe the administrator didn’t know it… but how could she not? An infant could see that.
In any case, Drift’s stunt with the elevator had given Faie the inspiration he needed to make his plans, and when she came to quietly observe the ARC training, he knew he had found his opportunity. Bacara had pointedly refused to participate in the mission, but he was usually fine with supporting the others in their work. That day, he had triggered a small electric charge that had temporarily frozen the administrator’s datapad. She was paying full attention to the training, guaranteed to see everything that Faie was planning.
“Captain?” he called, attracting Alpha’s attention. “Could you give another demonstration of Maneuver 127? I’d be interested to know how you adjust for the weight of a kama.”
Maneuver 127 was a tricky, showy motion. It required a trooper to fling himself into the air, twist to kick an opponent of equal or greater height, and spiral himself back into position to land on his feet and keep fighting. It was one of the most technically difficult movements in the entirety of Advanced Recon Commando training, and Alpha had perfected it before any of these men had been decanted.
The man in question frowned at Faie. “We went over that move two days ago and you have questions about it now?”
Even for the sake of the mission, Faie bristled at being found lacking. “I understood the rest of it, but I didn’t consider the kama’s effect on balance until today, sir.”
Alpha sighed. “Fine, but watch closely. I’m supposed to be training you sharala men, not putting on a show for you.”
As the captain strode to the middle of the training space, Faie noted with smugness that the administrator was watching him closely. Her attention was fixed on Alpha almost constantly, but it was good to know for certain that she was going to witness his competence and combat abilities. Faie couldn’t think of anything that would impress a female more.
Alpha’s muscles tensed and he leapt into the air, performing every motion perfectly. The kick he delivered was swift, sharp, and brutal - it would disable a droid immediately and any nat-born would beg for mercy just at the threat of it.
When Alpha landed on his feet once more, he glanced around the room. “And that’s how you balance. Any more que-?”
He had cut himself off as his eyes landed on the administrator, who was shaking with silent laughter. She noticed that he was watching her and waved her hands apologetically. “Sorry, I- I’m sorry! That was just… I never knew you were so spinny! It was-” she cut herself off and cleared her throat, striving for a serious tone. “It was very impressive.”
Alpha’s face took on a hint of red under his tan and glared at Faie. “Ten laps, men!”
As Faie ran, trying to figure out what had gone wrong, Neyo passed by and tossed him a sympathetic look. “Alor’s a tough one to crack, huh, vod?”
Faie couldn’t agree more.
—
The second time wasn’t his fault, not really.
Drift had been just around a corner when he heard Alpha’s exasperated huff emanating from a nearby storage room. “It’s not in here, neverd'ika.”
The administrator sighed. “Alpha, just- Yes, it is. I justsawit.”
Drift peeked around the corner. Alpha was indeed inside a storage closet and his administrator was waiting outside. The lights were off and he was rummaging around on the last shelf, his broad back aimed toward the door.
“You get it, then,” the captain huffed. “I don’t see it in here at all.”
“The whole reason I asked you is because I can’t reach it!”
“I can’t reach what isn’t in here!”
“This is ridiculous,” she muttered, stepping into the small storage closet while Drift watched from around his corner.
When Alpha didn’t leave the closet or turn around, the opportunity officially became too good to pass up. In seconds, Drift had sprinted up, closed the door, and activated the exterior lock.
The shouts and fists against the inside of the door started instantly, but Drift ignored them all. Instead, he retreated around the corner - safely out of earshot, with the noise in the closet - and activated the group comm frequency the ARCs-in-training had set up.
“Alor and Cabur mission completed,” he reported.
“There’s no way,” Neyo denied instantly.
A sigh that could only have come from Faie emanated from the speakers. “He means he’s trapped them in another elevator.”
“Ooh, bad idea,” Monnk said. “Captain’s gonna kill you.”
“Not if he’s busy enjoying life with his new girlfriend,” Drift countered. “I just need to figure out how to get from this point to that one. Any ideas?”
“Here’s an idea: run,” Monnk advised, and the other ARCs agreed. “You need to be far away from there when Cabur gets out.”
Drift opened his mouth to argue, but a cadet turned the corner, heard Alpha’s demands to be let out, and started for the control panel beside the door. Then he was too busy running to think up a witty reply.
—
Neyo wasn’t afraid of anyone or anything. It was part of what had signaled him out as an ideal ARC candidate. More than once, his quick actions and fearless demeanor had been the difference between life and death - not only his own, but those of his brothers and general.
Those skills translated well to ARC training, but Neyo wouldn’t have guessed that they could be applied to a conversation between himself and his ARC trainer.
Still, his mind was working overtime as he decided on a day. After the day’s training had ended - and Bacara had helpfully ushered the other men out of the ARC training area - Neyo approached Captain Alpha-17.
“Captain, can we have an honest conversation?” he asked.
Alpha stared at him for a moment, eyeing him skeptically before he checked his chrono and gave a slight sigh. “Fine, but… hurry. I have places to be.”
“Meeting your civvie - I know. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Neyo told him quickly, seizing the conversational opening as soon as it appeared. He didn’t miss the way Alpha’s expression shuttered, turning icy as he gave a tight nod.
Realizing that was all the invitation he would get, Neyo got straight to the point. “You like her.”
Alpha blinked, startled at first, then incredulous. “Like h- Of course I like her! Why would I spend so much time with someone I can’t kriffing stand?”
“That isn’t what-” Neyo broke off, adjusting the trajectory of his point. “I meant that you clearly have a romantic interest in her. You should just ask her to go out with you. I’m sure she would say yes.”
The look Alpha sent Neyo’s way made the ARC-in-training’s blood turn to ice. Neyo’s spine stiffened as every instinct screamed that he was in danger.
But Alpha didn’t make a threatening move. He didn’t evenspeak.
Instead, the captain simply turned to leave, holding his glare for every millisecond possible before breaking his gaze.
The minute that chilling look was aimed away from him, Neyo started after Alpha. “Captain-"
"One more word, Neyo,” Alpha rumbled. “One. More.”
Neyo wasn’t afraid of anyone or anything. Theoretically, that included Captain Alpha-17 and his unfinished threats. In practice, though…
He decided to let things go.
—
The ARCs-in-training had to take a step back from their mission before much more progress could be made. A Separatist attack on Kamino had pushed duty before the pleasure that was - depending on the man - a toss-up between trying to ensure the captain’s happiness or thoroughly unbalancing him by putting him in situations he was unprepared to deal with.
On the smallest possible positive side, the attack gave the ARCs confirmation that their captain truly did care for the administrator. He had been unhinged during the attack while they were trying to find her, taking out tinnies with a speed and violence that none of the other men could hope to match even if all of their efforts were combined. And when they had found her, only to see that she had sustained injuries?
Well, none of the men had ever expected to see the legendary Captain Alpha-17 hobbled by his emotions.
Still, she hadn’t let it slow her down too much, despite the cast that wrapped around the lower half of her broken leg. She still spent plenty of time in the ARC training area… though there were also four new men to explain the mission to.
“So you’re trying to form a romantic connection between the two of them?” Tech asked, fiddling with his goggles as he did when he was deep in thought.
“No, of course not,” Faie denied, sounding offended. “That would be ridiculous. They already havea romantic connection.”
“We’re just trying to get the captain to act on it,” Monnk explained.
“Or the administrator,” Drift pitched in. “We’re not picky.”
“Code names, guys, c’mon,” Bacara muttered.
“Alor and Cabur, right?” Hunter asked. He didn’t hesitate or stumble on the pronunciation - trooper memory was too exact for that - but he frowned. “Were those chosen for a reason?”
“They’re Mando’a words,” Bacara explained. He had kept out of things for the most part, but he was good at running interference for his brothers. “Alor means ruler and-”
“Ruler?” Wrecker asked. “Why ruler? She’s not in charge of us.”
“It means ruler traditionally,” Faie told him. “In context of the GAR, it means something closer to ‘leader’ or ‘officer’. She’s basically an officer, or might as well be. Just one who doesn’t see combat.”
“Or shouldn’t have to,” Monnk said darkly and the group grew quiet thinking about everything that had happened during the attack.
“And Cabur?” Crosshair asked. He was easily the least interested of the cadets, but he had asked the question, which had to mean something.
“‘Protector’ or ‘guardian’,” Bacara said shortly. “He’s on his way here now. I’ll hold him up while you all finish explaining. I probably can’t keep him for long, so make it fast.”
They did, quickly explaining what they had done so far.
Crosshair snorted. “You’re all cowards. What you shoulddo is flirt with her, make him jealous.”
There was a beat of silence as the men considered that.
Drift chuckled lowly. “That’s what I’ve been trying to do since the first time I met her. Doesn’t work. Besides, none of us want to die at the captain’s hands. That’s not cowardly, it’s… it’s a wise allocation of resources. The resources in question being my face and my ability to keep using it.”
“I believe Neyo’s efforts make the most sense,” Tech opined when they had finished. “If this is something the cap- Cabur wants, the best thing to do is explain how to make it happen.”
“Nah, Faie’s got it,” Hunter disagreed. “She was impressed with everything he did during the attack, so we know she likes his competence. He just chose the wrong move. Civvies don’t understand how hard Maneuver 127 is to do.”
Wrecker grimaced. “Females are tricky and I don’t know what would work. But I’d flirt with her. I’m not scared of the captain.”
From the amused grumbles around the room, no one believed him, but they didn’t contradict him aloud so everyone else moved on.
Crosshair looked thoughtful. “Why don’t you make this more interesting? Turn it into a bet. First one to push them together wins it all.”
“We don’t have money, kid,” Neyo told him, chuckling.
“I’m sure you have something worth betting,” Crosshair said with a shrug. “No trooper leaves Kamino and comes back without any prizes at all.”
“Just help Drift, Crosshair,” Hunter told him.
“Yeah,” Monnk said with a grin. “Drift needs all the help he can get.”
Drift scoffed. “I don't need help because my plan is perfect enough to stand on its own.”
“When I die, it’s not gonna be because I locked the captain in a closet and he threw me from a platform,” Crosshair snarked.
Wrecker laughed loudly, throwing an arm around his brother’s shoulders. “Yeah, you’re gonna die from shame when I take out more droids than you!”
“I beat you during the attack,” Crosshair argued. “By a lot.”
That sparked an argument between the two cadets, but Bacara’s overly loud conversation warned them that Alpha was coming into the ARC training area, his administrator trailing just behind. The troopers exchanged weighty glances and got ready to train. Their conversation ended there, but the second half of their efforts were only beginning.
—
Unsurprisingly, Wrecker’s plan was the first to fail. He had done his best to flirt with the administrator, but considering that he was a cadet and not one of the smooth-talking ones, his efforts were immediately unsuccessful.
The administrator had laughed, erasing the uncomfortable smile from her face. “You’re adorable, Wrecker. I’ll have to pass, but that was very sweet.”
Wrecker’s smile had faded almost immediately when she walked past him and he was faced with a glaring Alpha looming over him.
“You boys are new here,” the captain ground out while Bacara lingered behind him, ready to interrupt if necessary. “I’ve let you figure things out for yourselves, but maybe that wasn’t a good choice on my part. You and I are gonna go over some basic rules and you can share ‘em with your brothers. Sound good?”
“Yes, sir,” Wrecker agreed instantly, trying to swallow the nervousness away from his voice.
“Good,” Alpha had said, pausing an extra moment. “Are you ready?”
“Yes, sir,” Wrecker said again, mostly because it seemed like the safest choice.
“First rule: keep what you learn to yourself. The other cadets don’t need to know what you know.”
“…okay,” Wrecker agreed slowly, wondering what this had to do with the administrator.
Alpha nodded approvingly. “Second rule: don’t pick fights with the other men. You haven’t spent much time with them and you have different skills from the ones they have, but they’re your brothers. If they start something, end it, but you do not make the first move.”
“No, sir. I won’t.” Wrecker was gaining confidence the longer this conversation went on.
“Third rule: if I everhear, see, or even think you’re flirting with a civilian administrator who is made uncomfortable by the attention, you and I are going to have a conversation that you will - not - like. Do you understand me, soldier?”
Wrecker had snapped to attention by the time the captain had asked his question, and fought the urge to salute as he replied, “Sir, yes sir!”
Captain Alpha-17 let Wrecker dangle there for a minute, one that felt even more intense under Bacara’s concerned gaze. Alpha brought his large hands together, slowly and methodically cracking every joint in his fingers before reaching up to crack his neck. The popping was loud in the taut silence, and Wrecker fought not to flinch with every sound.
“Great,” Alpha said, turning away from him. “I never want to have this conversation again.”
When he had left, Wrecker almost slumped in relief as Bacara let out the breath he had been holding. The ARC trainee let out a laugh clearly designed to break the tension. “Scratch that plan from the list of ideas.”
Wrecker could only agree.
—
Drift was observant. No one would believe it at first - and that was the way he liked things - but Drift took note of everyone and everything. It had helped him stand out from his brothers, and it had helped him take early notice of the way the captain and the administrator had claimed a particular balcony on the lower levels of Tipoca City as their own.
And so he took to haunting that particular section of the city, ready to continue his plan.
It didn’t take long to find the pair out on their balcony, and the door panel didn’t even need to be sliced to make it lock. Ever since the Separatist attack, all of the doors with exterior access had been programmed to lock from the inside, no matter where they were at on the compound.
It was the work of a single moment to engage the door’s lock – it was even soundless. The couple-to-be were none the wiser.
Drift knew better than to call his brothers to figure out the next step. They had shown a startling lack of understanding for his extremely nuanced plans, and were no help when it came to figuring out how to get Alpha and his administrator from ‘trapped together’ to ‘getting together’.
He was on his own.
Fortunately, Drift was an independent thinker, but he really thought quantity over quality of time together would sort things out. Most nat-borns believed in outside forces like fate or destiny. Maybe the admin would think that all of the times they had been locked into places with Alpha were because they were fated to be together and not because Drift was the only ARC-in-training with a valid plan.
In any case, he just had to keep them there. Alpha was a clever man, and he would probably try to slice the lock when he found out they were trapped on the balcony. Drift would block those attempts just enough times that Alor got to see how talented a slicer Cabur could be, then he would gracefully retreat and leave them to romantic bliss.
Of course, graceful retreat and respect of privacy were for later.
Drift pulled his datapad from the pouch on his belt, booting up the feed from the holocam he had strategically placed on the balcony while he was doing his prep work. It was a minuscule cam, impossible to notice unless one happened to look in exactly the right place on the outer frame of the door. And it had an audio feed.
When the feed displayed on the screen of Drift’s datapad, the pair looked peaceful, lost in the bliss of standing in each other’s arms - well, almost - and staring out at Kamino’s gray sky and gray ocean. Despite their depressing surroundings, both looked deliriously happy, like they were watching a sunset on Scarif instead of watching a midday gap in the rain on Kamino. Maybe love really wasblind.
Alpha’s arms were on either side of the administrator as he stood behind her. From what little Drift could see of her, she looked happy with that arrangement. Still, Alpha glanced down at the top of her head after a while.
“I think we should go back inside, neverd’ika,” he said, normally gruff voice gentle and full of reluctance. “We both have work to do.”
She stirred gently, giving a sigh so light that Drift was impressed by the tiny cam’s mic quality. “You’re right, Alpha. But thank you; I needed this.”
“Any time, you know that.” Alpha was still smiling slightly as he turned around to prod at the door’s exterior control panel.
That smile disappeared entirely when the door didn’t open, and he was outright frowning by the time he had finally accepted that something was wrong.
“What’s going on?” the administrator asked.
“Something’s wrong with the door,” Alpha bit out.
“Uh oh,” she replied, sounding more than a little concerned. “I’m not terribly afraid of heights, but I really don’t want to spend the night out here.”
“We won’t,” Alpha reassured her. “We’ll call someone to let us in. It might just take some time for them to get here.”
“…Do you have your comlink?” she asked. “Because I don’t.”
Alpha froze. “I… don’t. I left it in my quarters with my armor. Along with my slicing kit.”
Drift beamed. Without a slicing kit or a comlink, the two really were stuck out there. They would have no choice but to talk and, eventually, come to terms with their feelings. An extremely intoxicated Commander Hilltop had once told Drift that relationships took two things: chemistry and a crucible. While Drift had a healthy amount of skepticism for anything one of his brothers said about relationships, that one made sense to him. Alpha and the administrator had chemistry, and this was definitely a crucible…
“What are we going to do?” the administrator asked, her voice tight with growing tension.
“It’s okay, neverd’ika,” Alpha soothed, setting a hand on her shoulder. “I have an idea.”
His free hand rose to her other shoulder and Drift held his breath, certain he was going to see his captain kiss the pretty civvie… but Alpha just positioned her in one corner of the balcony.
“Stay there. I’m going to break the door down and I’ll need as much room as I can get.”
“Break the door down?” the administrator asked, watching Alpha with horror.
“Break the door down?” Drift repeated, watching the datapad with horror.
“It’s solid durasteel,” she continued. “You’ll hurt yourself!”
He turned and aimed a sharp kick at the panel beside the door. It made an ominous cracking sound, then began to beep frantically. The inner panel flashed with all kinds of interesting colors and warning lights.
“One more should do it,” Alpha reported.
Drift agreed, which is why he sprinted away from the door as quickly as he could. The cam feed on the datapad showed that they made it safely through the door in under a minute. Drift was long gone by that point… though he realized on the way that he hadn’t had time to close the door panel before he left.
—
“I hope you know what you’re getting us into,” Neyo muttered. “It didn’t go well the last time.”
“That is because you tried to advise him based on your own understanding,” Tech countered. “Why should Cabur trust your experience with females since it is so lacking? This information was found scattered in various places across the holonet.”
“That doesn’t make it true, kid,” Neyo argued.
Tech frowned at him, eyes narrowing behind his goggles. “Why would it have been recorded to so many different places if it weren’t true?”
“Because natties don’t make sense.”
“Do you have a better plan?”
Neyo sighed. “No. No, I don’t. Fine, let’s try passing on your holonet advice.”
“After considering all of the variables, I believe this will be the best time to speak with him,” Tech explained. “He is about to go see Alor, which puts him in an observably better-than-average mood, but the day’s training has ended, so the captain is less likely to be in a warrior’s mindset.”
“I’m always in a warrior’s mindset,” a voice rumbled from behind them, sending the same tension through the cadet’s shoulders as the ARC trainee’s. “Why are you men so concerned about my mental state?”
Neyo tensed, but Tech turned and breezily asked the captain, “Did you tell her that she looks lovely today?”
Alpha frowned. “No, I- Why would I? Is there something going on?”
“No, but it is always advisable,” Tech pointed out.
Neyo nodded, backing up the young cadet. “Yeah, Captain, he’s right. Females like knowing that they look nice.”
“That’s… not a terrible idea…” Alpha slowly conceded, seemingly searching for a way to think of it as one anyway.
“No, it isn’t,” Tech agreed. “You could also consider bringing her flowers.”
“Flowers?” Neyo tensed, thinking Tech had pushed too far, but Alpha only looked thoughtful. “Why? Did she say she wanted flowers? I don’t know if I could find any, but if she wants them…”
“No, she didn’t say she wants flowers,” Neyo admitted, knowing that in particular could come back to bite them. Tech glared, but Neyo ignored him. Only one of them was being directly trained by Alpha, and Neyo wasn’t going to suffer the consequences if Alpha thought they had tricked him. “It might just be nice for her to get some kind of gift. You know how hard she works.”
“She does work too much,” Alpha agreed with a slow shake of his head. “But if I’m gonna get her a gift, it’ll be something she can use, not some di’kutlaflowers. Maybe a vibroblade, or a small blaster.”
Tech shot Neyo a triumphant look, but Neyo shook his head. The captain was smart, and it was too early to start celebrating.
Sure enough, Alpha’s eyes sharpened a moment later. “What brought all this on, men?”
“We simply thought you could use some assistance,” Tech said before Neyo could stop him.
“Assistance,” Alpha repeated, voice slow and dangerous.
“Yes, because you seem to have trouble forming a romantic connection to the administrator,” Tech continued, heedless of the growing danger. Alpha seemed to loom larger in front of the slender cadet as Neyo’s hands tensed, ready to pull him away. However, the feeling of impending violence from Alpha halted as Tech said, “It is quite perplexing, considering the obvious strength of her feelings toward you.”
Alpha halted entirely, and Neyo hadn’t even noticed that he had been moving until that moment. “Get out of here, men. We aren’t talking about this.”
When they were out of earshot, Tech turned to Neyo. He looked thoroughly disgruntled. “What were you doing? I had more information to share.”
Neyo stared at the cadet, utterly heedless of the danger he had so narrowly escaped, and shook his head. “You’re one lucky verd’ika, you know that? We’re dropping this.”
Tech snorted, but didn’t refuse. It was good enough for Neyo.
—
“What about Attack Formation 37?” Hunter asked.
Faie shook his head. “No, that’s a group formation. Still impressive, but more based on teamwork than individual strength.”
“Ooh, what if we asked him to demonstrate the right way to disable a weaponized flying probe droid?” Hunter’s dark eyes gleamed excitedly at the prospect.
Faie bit back a sigh. Hunter was a cadet, just a kid. Well, as much as any of the troopers could be considered children, anyway. These cadets in particular had been kept away from the others because of their mutations, which had led to them being far more mature in some ways and far less in others.
Hunter had been a huge help when the ARCs-in-training were helping to take out the Separatist infiltrators around Kamino. Without Hunter, Crosshair, Tech, and Wrecker, it was likely the future ARCs wouldn’t have been able to fight off Ventress. They hadn’t managed to capture her before she fled the planet, but they had kept her from getting the Fett genetic sample or killing more people, which was a better outcome than anyone had expected.
That being said, Faie was beyond frustrated with the way Hunter was straying from the task at hand. Yes, he was suggesting ways that they could showcase Alpha’s competence and impress the administrator…but all of Hunter’s suggestions were far less focused on finding the most impressive moves and maneuvers and far more focused on having Alpha demonstrate all of the things that the cadet wanted to learn.
With infinite patience - or as close as he could manage, anyway - Faie said, “No, that won’t work the way we want it to, either. Flying droid intercepts almost always involve the use of a net gun, which is tricky, but ultimately looks unimpressive.”
Hunter nodded slowly. “Maybe Maneuver 63?”
“That might work…” Faie agreed, filled with relief about an idea that would be acceptable… if not for certain other factors that the cadet wouldn’t know about. “The only problem is that it needs a Z-6 rotary blaster and we don’t keep one of those around, not for practice purposes. By the time we found one, Alor would have probably lost interest or remembered something else she needs to work on.”
Hunter sighed, but froze before he could finish the exhale. “They’re coming-”
Alpha and the administrator stepped through the doors an instant later. Faie appreciated Hunter’s gifts, but that hadn’t been very much warning. “Don’t say anything. We’ll figure it out and try a different time.”
“Cabur’s happy and so is Alor,” Hunter hissed. “We won’t get a better time than this.”
As the couple crossed to where Faie and Hunter were standing, Alpha was clearly trying to ignore them both, but the administrator smiled and gave a small wave in their direction.
“Hello,” the administrator greeted. “What are you two doing today?”
“Trying to figure out a tricky maneuver,” Faie answered, but Hunter interrupted a moment later.
“Captain, what’s the best way to disable the memory stored in a commando droid?” the cadet asked.
Alpha’s brows shot upward, then furrowed as he gave Faie an unhappy look. “That’sthe tricky maneuver, Faie? You should know that well enough from your training, soldier. C’mere, kid.”
Faie did his best not to glare at Hunter as the cadet went to stand beside Alpha. “We’re gonna use Faie as our commando droid in this example. The memory storage is here.” Alpha’s fingertips connected roughly with Faie’s body-glove clad chest. “You’ll have to hit hard to get through the durasteel plating in the way. Your best bet is shooting it, aiming for the small maintenance panel here.”
Faie fought not to wince at the second hard prod to his chest.
“I understand, sir,” Hunter said quickly.
“Good,” Alpha approved, sending Faie a dark look. “Faie, where is the memory storage in a B-1 battle droid?”
“In its head, sir,” Faie replied immediately, struck with an idea at the same time. “Maybe you should explain to Hunter how he would remove a B-1’s head by hand if it ever became necessary.”
Alpha’s frown deepened. “He’s a cadet. He would have to use tools - knowing him, a vibroknife would be his first choice.”
“I could use an explanation for when I’m fully-grown, sir,” Hunter told him, eyes brightening in the way they did when he sensed that he could learn something new and interesting.
Alpha snorted. “Tell you what, kid: when you’re fully-grown, find me and I’ll show you then. Deal?”
“Yes, sir,” Hunter agreed.
“Faie.”
“Yes, sir?” Faie asked, a little surprised to be addressed again.
“By the end of the week, I want to see that you’ve logged at least two non-instruction hours on the droid component module.” Alpha crossed his arms over his chest and the administrator looked sympathetically at Faie.
“Yes, sir,” Faie agreed tiredly.
Alpha nodded and left, the administrator by his side.
“So…” Hunter started hesitantly. “What maneuver were you thinking would work best?”
Faie shook his head. “Forget it, kid. I have two module hours to log.”
—
When he couldn’t sleep, Drift made a point of walking around Kamino’s training compound.
There wasn’t much more he could learn from the area - after all, he had spent years mastering every subject and practice activity the Kaminoans could develop and throw at their cadets - but he enjoyed showing the Kaminoans that he could get inside. Their security measures were okay, for civilian stuff, but rudimentary considering that they had trained a literal army to do things like slice locks and break into high-security locations.
One night, Drift was walking through a darkened practice area - utterly lost in the mad tangle of sleepless thought - when a lurching fighter simulator almost crushed him.
It was a testament to his training that he even noticed it, soundless as it had been, but also that Drift was equally silent as he leapt out of the way and turned to study the machinery. It didn’t seem to be damaged or malfunctioning.
It was only then that he heard the slight gasp from inside, followed by a small laugh.
“Did I scare you?” a feminine voice asked, still bubbling with laughter.
A slightly shaking breath answered that, followed by the sound of Alpha’s voice. “I’m not scared of much, neverd’ika, but your flying skills are… a challenge.”
An offended gasp. “Excuse me? I’ll have you know that I am the safest pilot I know!”
“On Coruscant?” Drift grinned at the way he could hear the captain’s raised eyebrow. “That planet has a higher number of speeder collisions than the total population of most planets. Just because you’re the safest pilot youknow doesn’t mean you’re a safe pilot.”
“I’m an extremely safe pilot!” the administrator lectured, met by Alpha’s disbelieving snort. “I am! I’m just not used to flying military transport vehicles.”
She laughed again. “Alpha, I’m grateful you’re taking the time to do this, but honestly? If it ever comes down to a situation when I’m going to have to fly a military transport to live, I’m probably going to end up dying either way.”
“Not funny, little one,” Alpha growled.
Drift’s spine stiffened reflexively at that tone. The captain only used that voice when he was deathly serious about something… and there wasn’t an ARC trainee among them who didn’t listen when he did.
To his utter disbelief, she didn’t seem even slightly intimidated by the implicit threat in Alpha’s voice. “If you wanted funny, you should have caught me after a full night of sleep.”
“Yeah? When’s the last time you had one of those?”
She fell silent at that, and the quiet lasted long enough that even Drift got uncomfortable.
When the captain spoke again, it was with uncharacteristic gentleness. “It’ll get easier, neverd’ika. The nightmares fade.”
“So you tell me,” she agreed, her tone much less doubtful than the words would make it seem. “Well, since we’re awake, will you show me again how to fly this thing?”
“Yeah.”
When Drift engaged the lock on the practice cockpit, it was a half-hearted gesture at best, but one he made anyway. The simulator cockpits were small, but they were designed for a trainer and a cadet, so they boasted two seats. The locks on the simulators were flimsy and mass-produced, easy to break, and he started to leave the training area without a qualm when he heard the administrator speak.
“Wait, I- I thought I heard something. I’m going to check…” The door rattled, but not hard enough to snap the lock. Not yet, anyway. “We’re locked in. How did that happen?”
Alpha sighed. “That’s been happening a lot lately. Probably Drift.”
She laughed disbelievingly. “Drift? Alpha, you’ll find a way to blame him for anything.”
“And I’m not wrong,” Alpha grumbled. “Do you want me to break the lock? It’ll be easy enough.”
Drift’s tired muscles tensed, ready to launch into a full-speed run before they could leave the simulator and find him there.
The administrator eventually said, “I mean, there’s no rush. I’m sure someone who can help us will be by soon. We’ll keep working on this, right?”
“As long as you want,” Alpha promised.
Drift left them to spend time in the two-seater simulation cockpit, grinning to himself when he heard they had been released from it the next morning when one of the instructors had found them sharing the small space as they slept beside each other.
—
“So, men,” Monnk started before the ARC training for the day had begun. “What progress has everyone made?”
“What progress have youmade?” Drift countered. “I haven’t seen you around much.”
Monnk shrugged. “I’ve been doing little things here and there, but nothing too crazy. I don’t need the captain catching on.”
“None of us do,” Neyo affirmed. “Though some people could be doing more to distract the captain and keep his attention elsewhere.”
With that, he shot a glare at Bacara, who held up his hands in a palms-out gesture of innocence. “Hey, I’ve been doing plenty, especially for someone who isn’t really involved in any of this! Not my fault I’ve had to work harder keeping a certain cadet from sabotaging everyone else!”
“Cross, really?” Hunter asked, sounding exasperated, if not surprised.
Crosshair shrugged. “No one wanted a betting system. I had to find some way to keep things interesting.”
That sent a generally dissatisfied murmur through the gathered ARCs-in-training and cadets, but no one seemed truly displeased.
“Well, all of my efforts turned bad,” Faie admitted.
“Mine, too,” Neyo agreed.
“A little progress for me, but not much,” Drift told them all.
Monnk sighed, rubbing at the space between his eyebrows. “Well, I think that settles it, then. We’ve done everything we can for them and it’s either worked or it hasn’t. They’ll just have to come to terms with their feelings on their own.”
“So we’re just going to stay out of everything?” Bacara asked carefully.
“Oh, kriff that!” Wrecker said. “We have to know what happens!”
“Definitely,” Neyo agreed with a decisive nod. “We’ll keep tabs on things, but no more interfering. Agreed?”
Everyone agreed, some more hesitantly than others, but the feeling of tension releasing was strong in the ARC training area. Whatever happened between Alor and Cabur happened, but it wouldn’t be directly caused by any of the cadets or future ARCs.
It was something of a relief to all of them. War was easy, but romance? That was tricky, something best left to the professionals.
Whether Alpha could be considered one of those professionals remained to be seen.
—
Author’s Note - someone suggested this, and I’m pretty sure it was an anonymous ask, but I’m not 100% on it. Whoever you are, just know that your suggestion completely took over my brain! I hope you enjoyed your gigantic bonus chapter!
You can find other works on my masterlist or sign up for my taglist here.
It was an abrupt change: one moment, you were floating along, sleeping and unaware of your surroundings. You weren’t dreaming, but you could almost feel your body working to… to do something. You weren’t quite sure what it was, but it was something necessary, something it needed to do to keep going.
And then everything changed. You made some small motion - shifted your weight or twitched a toe - and the world came crashing back down. Everything hurt.
Everythinghurt.
For the first time in your life, you were horribly aware of the entire length of your throat leading down to your lungs. Letting out a breath stung - drawing one in was even worse. How badly had you been injured that it was painful to breathe?
You coughed lightly, more to counter the cold burning sensation in your lungs than out of any need to clear something from your throat, but that only made you aware of a dull ache in your abdomen and ribs.
You kicked your feet a bit, dissatisfied with the quality of everything at the moment. At that moment, speech was the last thing on your mind. You could only show how unhappy you were by moving your body. For an odd moment, you felt a kinship with infants, but all of those strange thoughts were knocked from your mind when your leg actually moved.
Despite what you tried, your ankle wouldn’t twist. Instead, your foot seemed locked in place. That was enough to send you into a panic for a reason you couldn’t explain, and you woke up all the way, launching yourself upward to stare down at your leg and foot.
It was a simple sentence, even a helpful one. From those few words, Alpha knew that Ventress was on Kamino, he knew that she was at least partially behind this attack, and he knew where the droids intended to take you. He could plan an intercept route and release you from their captivity.
Unfortunately, his soldier’s mind - one he had honed over years of work and combat experience - was locked in a box in the back of his brain.
Most of his mind was occupied in struggling against a sea of roaring blankness. It threatened to rise out from the corners of his vision, blocking the steady stream of information from his HUD and overtaking his senses until all he knew was the panic.
With extreme effort, Alpha fought it back. You needed him right now, needed him more than ever. He couldn’t fail you, no matter how much the scar bisecting his eyebrow ached.
With a single sharp twist, Alpha planted his feet and tore the head off of the B1 he was fighting. When the droid dropped to lay sparking on the ground, he turned his attention to the proper order of combat. First, dispatch the threats in the immediate area. Next, help brothers with their opponents. Then, check the immediate area for other potential threats. Finally, help victims.
The steps were completed in moments, efficient and ruthless. Alpha focused on the rhythm of violence, a beat he had been practicing since he was decanted. The blank numbness threatening his mind receded, and it wasn’t until he stood in a droidless room that he paused to take a breath.
Writing PTSD was hard (I did way too much research about it), but the hardest part of this chapter was trying to give personality to the canon ARC commanders without stepping on existing characterization! I’m not overly familiar with Faie or Neyo in canon, so I was scouring articles trying to figure out a good way to represent them.
I was pleasantly surprised how many people were happy to see the baby Bad Batch in here! A lot of people didn’t seem to like the show overly much, and I was worried TBB would throw people out of the story. I haven’t gotten that particular complaint yet, though!
I know the PTSD scenes were a little jarring - sudden references to Jedi and mentions of an injury that didn’t happen here - but they were supposed to be! I wanted to do Alpha justice in this chapter. He’s a lethal, highly efficient soldier, but he’s human. He struggles. And here, he struggles a lot. Poor guy!
The moment the comlink connection dropped, the lights in your room came to life - not the sterile, pale lights you were used to seeing, but a dim red glow matched by a loud, buzzing alarm. Kamino was under attack and everyone was aware.
You finished getting dressed with shaking fingers, choosing simple, dark-colored clothing. Changing seemed frivolous, a needless luxury, but in all reality, leaving your room and walking into a known combat situation wearing only your pajamas would be stupid in the extreme.
You were probably ready in under a minute, but the adrenaline stretched that time into an hour. The rushing fear made you want to fling yourself headlong into the hallway outside of your quarters, but you made yourself take a breath and think logically. Disabling the automatic doors would allow you to control how quickly they opened, as well as how far. It was the work of a moment and could prevent you from being caught, so it was worth doing.
Turning the door mode to manual mode took a button and two switches, then you paused inside the door. You had your ear pressed against the chilled durasteel of the door, trying to hear anything on the other side. There was nothing that you could hear, but that didn’t mean that nothing was there. Alpha seemed to think this was a Separatist attack - droid armies didn’t breathe or fidget or make any of the small noises common to living things. Leaving your quarters had never been quite this dangerous before.
Still self-reblogging! If you ever read more of my works, you probably already know this fun fact, but bear with me.
You know that post talking about oddly specific tropes that always show up in a writer’s works? One of mine is carbon monoxide poisoning. I know I’ve written about it at least twice. When I was very small, my next door neighbors almost died from carbon monoxide poisoning and my parents’ explanation of what had happened terrifiedme. Before I went to sleep at night, I would ask if the carbon monoxide detector was working.
It’s funny what minor incidents make a strong impact on you!
Alpha-17 and fem!reader trying to live life on Kamino
Word Count: 4,600
Warnings: Plot incoming, but nothing too intense yet.
—
The comlink that Alpha had graciously gifted you was versatile and useful. Not only did it transmit short-range audio, video, and holoprojections, it also transmitted long-range audio and boasted a chronometric display so the wearer could keep easy track of the time.
For a civilian, it would have been useful. For a soldier, it was downright indulgent. And Alpha had chosen to give it to you rather than keep it for himself, switching to a cheaper, less useful model. He didn’t know yet, but you had ordered him an exact replacement. Outside deliveries to Kamino were rare, but you had been assured that it was on the way.
In any case, the chrono was what was holding your attention then. You were engrossed in a series of mental calculations, trying to decipher the time difference between Kamino and Coruscant.
Beside you, Alpha heaved an irritated sigh, glaring at the pair of cadets across the table. “She’s. Not. Interested. Do me a favor: tell all of your little friends that being a nat-born female on Kamino doesn’t make her want to hear your pathetic attempts at flirting.”
How long would the rest of lunch take? And then how long would it take to get back to your office? Assuming Alpha came along and you were only stopped by two groups of cadets, it would take roughly the amount of time it usually did.
“But Captain, how are we supposed to get better at flirting if we don’t practice?” the cheeky cadet asked.
“You aren’t,” Alpha told him bluntly. “The Kaminiiwant you to learn to fight, not flirt. Focus on learning to protect yourselves and your brothers. From the way you act around one disinterested female, you’ll need the fighting skills when one of you says something you shouldn’t to someone you shouldn’t.”
This chapter’s fun fact was that it was supposed to just be setting up for the attack on Kamino, but then the attack itself ended up being so long (three chapters, I believe!) that I had to cut a chapter and write this ending. It’s okay though; most of the cut material was written into the attack itself or later chapters!
Continued adventures of Alpha-17 and the fem!reader
Word Count: 5,600-ish
Warnings: Emotions. So many of them.
—
The architecture was strange on Kamino, you reflected, eying the spot where the rounded wall met the gray-toned carpet. Everywhere else in the galaxy placed an emphasis on ease of building and practicality of cleaning, but Kaminoans seemed to place a premium on seamlessness. You couldn’t actually detect the point where whoever had built the room had welded the durasteel pieces together. All Kaminoan architecture was like that - ‘ perfection in all things’ seemed to be their motto.
The overall impression should have been one of smooth perfection, but it hit the eye as something eerie, too flawless to be real. It gave everything in Tipoca City a sense of being removed from reality. Living here felt like a dream, but not a particularly good one.
This is the chapter of Gar Cabur I know better than any other. Not because it took me longer to write or anything, but because (in response to multiple requests) I’m writing a version of these events from Alpha’s POV. I’m not sure when that version will be finished or posted, but I am working on it!
Alpha turned toward the door, letting his displeasure show on his face as he threw an unimpressed look at the extremely late ARC-in-training. “Drift, you were supposed to be back ten minutes ago. Give me one good reason I shouldn’t have you spend the rest of the afternoon making it up to me.”
“That’s not important right now!” Drift rushed out, pointing toward the door. “You have to-”
Alpha felt his eyebrows furrow with incredulity. “You show up late, you’re not even in the right gear, and now you think I’m gonna let you tell me what to do? I’m your Captain, Drift, and if you can’t learn to shut up and take orders-”
“Something’s wrong with her,” Drift insisted.
Immediately, a sickly sense of foreboding filled Alpha. There were plenty of females who worked in Tipoca City. Drift could be talking about Trem, one of the other trainers. Maybe something had happened to General Ti when Drift was there to witness it. It wasn’t necessarily something having to do with you…
With a careful show of wry indulgence, Alpha asked, “What is wrong with who?”
“Who do you think?” Drift sounded as impatient as ever. “Your adviser. I don’t know what happened, but… It looks bad. Really bad.”
Tension filled Alpha’s muscles, readying him to go fight something. “Bad how?”
“I don’t know,” Drift admitted, but before Alpha could write it off as another Drift-based waste of time, he added, “but she was definitely crying.”
Crying? You were crying?Alpha had seen you frustrated beyond measure. He had witnessed you working fourteen hours on three hours of sleep, seen you get waylaid by too many groups of cadets when you finally tried to return to your quarters, and stood by you while you were slowly lectured by the Kaminoans. Without fail, you had accepted those situations with professionalism and cheerful grace. It was ridiculous and far beyond what anyone had asked of you, but the idea of you straying from such a strong pattern had him on-edge.
Beyond the all-encompassing hum of his frantic thoughts, Alpha noted that the ARC training area had gotten quiet. He glanced around to find that every pair of eyes was fixed on Drift and himself. Alpha wasn’t shocked - these men had been chosen due to their instincts, and he had been working to hone those instincts throughout all of their training. If there was trouble in the nearby vicinity, these ARCs would spot it and do what they could to neutralize it before anything bad could happen.
Of course, in this case, something bad had apparently already happened, and none of the men were happy about it.
You weren’t quite a regular in the training area, not yet, but you were well on your way to it. You had visited often enough to have formed small friendships with several of the future ARCs, and even those who didn’t have a bond with you respected you anyway.
“You know, Captain,” Neyo said, rotating his shoulder. “I think I may have pushed myself a little too hard yesterday. Mind if I take a few extra minutes to get a deeper stretch?”
“Yeah, me too,” Monnk pitched in, bending his knee and giving a dramatic wince as it neared full extension. “I think I may pull something if I try to start training right now. I need a little while.”
“And I think I forgot my workout shorts in the bunk,” Drift reported, putting his hands in the pockets of the workout shorts he was wearing. “I’ll need a few minutes to go get them.”
“Sure,” Alpha replied, filled with gratitude for his trainees. “How long do you men think you’ll need?”
“As long as it takes,” Faie told him steadily. “Neutralize the threats and make sure the area is secure before you move on to other tasks, right?”
“That’s the first lesson,” Alpha agreed, glancing around at the slight smiles scattered around the room. “What are you men waiting for? Start your stretches. Drift, get your karkin’ workout shorts before I write you up for breaking appearance regulations.”
“Sir!” the men said in unison, snapping an identical salute as Alpha left the training area.
His stride started off typical for him - purposeful, measured, steady. But then, Alpha started to think about what might have happened that could affect you so strongly. You were atin’la, tough. Strong.
His pace picked up slightly.
You worked hard, were persistent and dedicated, even to something as minor as a report for the karking Republic.
He started walking even faster.
He didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he knew he didn’t like it.
He broke into a light jog.
If you weren’t one to break down over something minor, logic would dictate that you were breaking down over something major. But what could be major enough to make you lose control of your emotions? Something outside of yourself, more than likely. Someone. Were you being harassed by someone? He knew about your supervisor, the di’kut, and you hadn’t said anything about her lately. So that would imply it was someone new. Was someone bothering you? Bothering you badly enough that you were breaking down over it but you hadn’t told him about it.
Since he was already jogging, it wouldn’t be out of the question for him to run, right? It wasn’t like anyone was going to stop him. Alpha snorted to himself. Let any of the kaminiitry to stop him. He was wearing full armor and had both blaster pistols strapped to his sides. If someone got in his way, there were a dozen ways he could make them back off without breaking the steady rhythm of his steps.
Was someone threatening you?
Alpha knew this place well enough to commit a murder without being caught.
Before he knew what was happening, Alpha had reached your office. Quick arrival times tended to happen when someone was running full-tilt to their destination. He was holding a blaster pistol and couldn’t remember when he had pulled it, but he didn’t put it away. What if the di’kut threatening you was in the office just then?
He didn’t want to take the time to knock, so he punched in your code and barely let the door slide open before he had pushed his way inside. You were standing halfway between your desk and the door.
Alpha didn’t even think - he was in the room and scanning his surroundings before he could finish processing the fact that you had clearly been crying. “What’s happening? What’s wrong?”
The room was empty other than you, but your voice still sounded weak and reedy, distraught. Alpha wanted - needed - to comfort you, but there could still be a potential threat in the area. His training told him that dealing with that threat took priority over everything else, but his gut was ordering him to take care of you, too.
He couldn’t say he was fully aware of the way his free hand reached out to grab your shoulder and pull you against him, but he honestly thought it was a fair compromise. Especially when you fit so comfortably against his side and under his arm, allowing him to continue searching the room for something out of place.
When you pulled away, Alpha felt the loss of you against his side like a cold chill. “Alpha, it’s fine. There’s no threat. Everything is good.”
“Clearly,” he said with a frown. Your eyes and nose were puffy and your lips were chapped. Your voice was more of a croak than he had ever heard it and you sounded miserable. “Drift said I needed to get over here, that something was wrong.”
You smiled, and it even looked like there was a glimmer of happiness caught in it. “Nothing you can shoot.”
He would see about that, but Alpha still holstered his blaster and removed his helmet. He could always get ready again. He crossed his arms. “So what’s with the waterworks?"
The flash of disbelief on your face was the first hint that he had said something wrong.
“Excuse me?” you asked, sounding insulted.
Oh, yeah. Civvies weren’t like clones. He couldn’t talk to you that way, not if he didn’t want you to hate him.
He really didn’t want you to hate him.
“Sorry, habit from the cadets. What has you so upset?”
“I-” you started, blinking too fast. Alpha was trying to figure out what was happening when he caught the shine in your eyes. It was too bright to be anger, too intense to be pain or weariness. Were you… crying? “I have to-”
“Hey,” Alpha said desperately hoping to keep you from breaking down. “Whatever it is, it’s not as bad as all that.”
Your face crumpled and Alpha’s heart lurched. He caught a glimpse of the tears streaking down your cheeks before you turned away, lifting your hands to hide it from him.
He couldn’t let you do that - struggle in silence in an effort to make things easier for him. He rested a hand on your shoulder, wondering for a moment how you could be so small, so delicate compared to him.
“Don’t-” he started, voice breaking slightly as he tried to fix whatever had gone wrong. “Don’t hide. Come back here. Please don’t cry, neverd’ika.”
You didn’t push his hand away. Alpha took that as a good sign and used it to gently pull you around… and if he moved you a little closer at the same time, who could really blame him?
To his shock, you didn’t stop when he stopped pulling you in his direction. Instead, you kept moving toward him, pressing yourself against his chest. Alpha’s arms wrapped around you, his instincts forcing the best possible result even as he was staggered by how you felt in his arms.
Even through the heavy plastoid of his armor, you feltrightthere.
And then you started to sob in earnest and Alpha’s full attention was absorbed by comforting you. Well, not his full attention. A solid percent of it was being used to wonder what thekriff was happening and how he could exact bloody revenge on whoever had upset you so badly.
Finally, your tears slowed. For your sake, Alpha tried not to sound too murderous as he asked, "Are you finally going to tell me what’s wrong?"
"They’re sending me away,” you said, chilling the marrow of Alpha’s bones. “I leave for Coruscant tomorrow.”
“Who is?” Alpha asked, the blood roaring so loudly in his ears that he could scarcely hear his own voice. “Who decided to send you back?”
You looked away. “Technically speaking, I did.”
And, just like that, Alpha went blank. If you had agreed to this, chosen this… it meant he wasn’t - your friendship wasn’t as important to you as it was to him.
Alpha wanted to shout with frustration. Of course this wasn’t as important to you. You were a nat-born, and since when had any clone mattered to a nattie? It was better this way, he decided. He could cut you out of his life, destroy this developing weakness before it took full root. Without you, he could be strong again.
Forcing a bland, carefree tone, Alpha said, “Well, at least you got what you wanted. I’m sure you had your reasons.”
“…I did,” you said, sounding unsure. Who were you really trying to convince? “I can’t finish the report by the Republic’s deadline, and that could impact the war effort-”
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me. You don’t owe me anything.” Alpha grimaced. What could he really accomplish here? It would be better to simply leave. “In fact, I should probably get back to work.”
He hasn’t crossed half the distance to the door before your voice rang out from behind him. “No!"
Alpha stopped, glancing back at you despite himself as you took a moment to gather your thoughts.
"I do owe you something, Alpha,” you explained haltingly. “I owe you a lot. You’re the only friend I have here, the only reason I made it this far. I may miss a few things about Kamino, but I’ll miss you most of all.”
Your voice cracked sharply as you finished, but you didn’t look away. You held his gaze, brave little thing that you were
“If you’ll-” Alpha interrupted himself to clear his throat so his voice would go the same way yours had. “You’llmiss me so much, why did you offer to leave?"
"Brid- she’s my supervisor, she told me that I am slowing down the Republic response by not completing my work on time. If I keep missing deadlines, it could hurt the war effort. I can’t let troopers die- I can’t let yourbrothers die because I wanted to be the one who did this assignment! I could never live with myself, Alpha.”
By the time you stopped explaining yourself, you were meeting his eyes straight-on, full of determination and sadness.
He was floating. One of the jetii had to be doing something to him that made him feel like he was floating. That was the only reason Alpha could think of that he felt so light. You weren’t leaving Kamino because you didn’t care about the men. You were leaving because you cared too much. That was far more in-line with everything he knew about you, and the receding sting of betrayal helped him realize that he had likely overreacted.
Alpha crossed his arms over his chest, trying to disguise the overwhelming surge of unfamiliar emotion. “So your supervisor twisted the vibroblade and you, in a bout of patriotism, decided to leave the assignment you want and the recognition you deserve. Do I have that right?”
You looked irritated, but it was better than sad. Anything was better than sad. “A ‘bout of patriotism’? By not wanting to sentence countless soldiers to death because I can’t work as quickly as the Republic needs? I don’t think that makes me a fool, Alpha, I think it makes me someone with a conscience!”
“Simmer down, neverd’ika,” Alpha told you, laughing with how incredibly light he still felt. That was apparent in the way he forgot himself and pulled you back toward him when he had sworn never to touch you. “You’re a fiery little thing today.”
Maybe this was a dream. The beginning had reminded him more of a nightmare, but the way you willingly went into his arms and leaned against him like you belonged there was definitely dream material. Despite that sweetness, you glared up at him, gaze full of reproach.
“How am I supposed to act? This might be the last day I ever see you and you’re acting like… like a…”
“A what, little one?” Alpha asked, trying not to laugh aloud and offend you worse.
“Adi’kut,” you spat out.
Alpha could have been knocked over by a shiny. For you to push back at him was rare - normally reserved for the times when he had pushed the teasing far further than was wise - but to hear you speak Mando’a? It affected him in… unexpected ways.
“Where did you learn that one?” he finally asked.
“You say it often enough! I’m not a complete fool,” you said, wrinkling your nose at him. “I canmanage to pick up on simple vocabulary.”
Well, that had never been in question. “Of course you can. I know how smart you are. But not smart enough.”
A little crease appeared between your brows, as if you were worried he really didn’t think you were very intelligent. You tried to disguise it with a dark look, but he saw right through you. Alpha always saw right through you - after all, he had enough practice looking.
He smiled, offering an explanation before you could get too concerned. “You haven’t realized yet that I’ll miss you at least as much as you’ll miss me. You also haven’t realized that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to see you again. I’ll take missions off-planet, anywhere close to the Triple Zero, and I’ve got enough rank to make sure we stop there for refuels.”
“But…” you trailed, clearly searching for words. Alpha waited patiently for you to find them. “But you hate Coruscant. You said it’s the armpit of the galaxy.”
Alpha recognized the slight pause before ‘armpit’, internally laughing at your attempt to make his statement more appropriate. “Wrong again. I said it was the sheb-”
Your eyes widened comically. “I was editing for professionalism! But you’d be willing to come there for me?”
“Of course,” Alpha said instantly, no time for thought. “We’re friends, remember? But you’d better tell me if you plan to move to a different planet so I can change which missions I’ll accept.”
“Do they let you choose?”
“They let me. Kenobi made sure of it,” Alpha told you, unable to erase the smugness from his tone. “I get to choose which missions I’ll go on. I’ve been instructing for so long that they don’t ask me often, but if I put out some notice that I’m looking for Inner Rim missions…”
“It would be amazing to see you! I’ll be on Coruscant for a while, unfortunately. It’ll take me a bit to re-earn the faith of my supervisors, so I’ll be stuck planetside for the foreseeable future.”
You looked so cheerful that Alpha felt guilty bringing your mood back down, but he had a serious question. “You’re sure they aren’t going to punish you for leaving the job?”
“I don’t think so. Brid didn’t say anything about a demotion or reprimand.”
That was far less certain than Alpha would have preferred, but he nodded anyway. “It sounds like the best possible way for you to leave. I don’t like it, but if you think it’s the right move, I trust you.”
That was the truth, he reflected with no small amount of shock. He did trust you, implicitly. That alone threw him off slightly. He trusted a civilian? Alpha? What had things come to that he was trusting a nat-born civvie? But even with that unpleasant realization, Alpha couldn’t bring himself to regret it. He trusted you, and he wasn’t going to talk himself out of it based on something as minor as your background or what the old him would have done.
His focus shifted back to the conversation as you spoke again: “I don’t want to go. This isn’t a choice I would make if I didn’t have to.”
And there was the problem. If you had chosen to leave, it would have been unpleasant, but seeing you forced off of Kamino was something Alpha struggled to reconcile himself with. There was a feeling of irritation that bureaucrats on Coruscant could determine something that took place in a world they were unfamiliar with, but… it was more than that. Alpha’s gut was telling him that something more was happening here. Something deeper.
The long-range transmitter rang and you straightened, jerking away from him as a by-product of that movement. “It’s Brid. She’s got some forms I need to fill out before I leave. You can stay if you want, just back up a bit so she won’t be able to see you.”
Alpha almost left. He would be no good to you in this situation and the least he could offer you was the privacy to finish conducting your affairs. But that feeling in his gut… Alpha stayed where he was, taking two steps backward and sitting down in the chair as part of your instructions, but going no further.
You sat in your chair and took a breath. That air of professionalism settled around you like you had put on a cloak, then you answered the call. “Supervisor Brid.”
“Administrator,” the holo-projected female replied. Alpha surveyed her with distaste and disdain. “I trust you’ve finished preparing the report for your replacement?”
“Yes, Supervisor,” you said agreeably. “I have loaded it onto the datapads, and I will gladly answer any questions they may have about my work up to this point.”
Brid grimaced coldly. “We will see about further contact. I’m transmitting the proper documents to your datapad now. As soon as these are filled out, we can consider this situation rectified.”
You looked at your datapad, eyes scanning down the screen. That crease reappeared between your eyebrows and Alpha’s gut tightened. Something was wrong. You reread the document, then glanced up at the holoimage of your boss.
“Is something the matter, administrator?” Brid asked, and Alpha longed to put a fist through her face… preferably in a form that wascorporeal.
“These are forms for my resignation from the Senate workforce,” you said quietly, displaying the screen of your datapad to the holo-transmitter.
The supervisor gave a short laugh. “And you are confused by this outcome? Surely you didn’t believe we would continue to allow you to work for us after failing to meet a deadline on such a major project?”
Alpha stood so quickly that the chair bounced up on two legs. He took a step toward the transmitter. Maybe he couldn’t physically touch Brid, but a threat could be just as effective. As if she sensed the danger, the semi-transparent form of the supervisor turned, but you spoke before she could catch a glimpse of the pissed off ARC captain who intended to beat her to a bloody stain on the durasteel ground of her Coruscant office.
“I will need some time to look this over, Supervisor,” you hastily told her.
“I am extremely aware that speed in paperwork is not in your skill set.” Alpha’s jaw clenched at the additional insult. “Rather than be placed on hold indefinitely, I will contact you again in a few minutes.”
Alpha lost his grip on his temper, striding forward quickly in hopes that his threatening form would be the last thing she saw before the transmission cut. Nat-borns seemed to find his larger-than-average stature and heavy muscle intimidating. He hoped that was true for Brid.
Before he got to his intended destination, the transmission cut off.
Alpha’s rage rose up around him until it was roaring in his ears and dimming his sight as he looked at you. “You let that hut’uun,chaavlashabuir speak to you that way?”
“I don’t enjoy being around her, but among Senate supervisors, she’s not the worst.”
Your easy tone and casual shrug made Alpha stare, but you were looking at the datapad. Hands shaking with anger, Alpha reached out and plucked the datapad from your grip, holding it above his head and safely away from you.
“You cannot sign this. I won’t let you.”
Your shoulder slumped slightly. “I don’t like that I’m going to lose this job, but none of my reasons have changed. What kind of person would I be to put lives on the line for a job?”
“The kind of person who understands that soldiers are going to fight and die no matter how quickly that report is written!” Your expression shuttered slightly and Alpha leaned down in an attempt to get your attention. He had to explain things to you, had to reach you before you made a decision and it was too late. “Listen, cyare, I’ve seen the kind of information you’re collecting in that report of yours, and none of it is vital enough that the Republic will stop mobilizing soldiers. The report is Senate busywork, something some mir’shebinvented so that the GAR could make battle plans without worrying about the kriffing senators breathing down their necks.”
You didn’t look convinced, so Alpha continued his explanation. “You want proof? Look how quickly they mobilized us for Geonosis. Every fully-trained vod went out for that campaign, and the Republic didn’t know anything more about us than that we were here and they needed people.”
You frowned. “What exactly are you saying, Alpha?”
“I’m saying…” Alpha blew out a breath, coming to a conclusion and knowing with every instinct he had that it was correct. “Someone wants you off of this project. I don’t know if it’s Brid or someone over her head, but that line about impacting the war effort? That’s a pile of osik. It’s impossible.”
“I get what you’re saying, but-”
“But trust the instincts of a soldier,” Alpha insisted, resting his hands on your shoulders so he could use infinite care to shake you back and forth. “Trust myinstincts. Something is off here and you’re being lied to. Don’t sign that resignation.”
You thought about that for a moment. When you spoke, your voice was tight. “What… What if it is true, though? What if I’m just not enough for the project? For the job? For anything?”
“I never want to hear you say that again,” Alpha ordered, accidentally using his Captain Voice with you. “You’re enough for all of it. I’ve watched you pour everything you have into this report. No one else can write it the way you can. The reason you want to quit is the same reason you need to stay.”
You looked unconvinced and Alpha sighed, trying to find a better way to phrase it. “You think you have to leave to protect my brothers, but the best way to do that is to stay. You care about us clones, so you’re writing a real report instead of writing a list of our specs. The information you’re requesting from Kaminoans and the trainers is completely different from what the Republic anticipated. The general mentions that every time it comes up.”
“You and General Ti talk about me?” you asked, clearly shocked.
Alpha stifled the urge to roll his eyes. This was Kamino - what else was there to talk about? “All the time. Especially a few weeks ago, when this really bossy Republic administrator told me I had to give the general my new comlink frequency.”
You smiled - finally reallysmiled - but the transmitter notified you of an incoming call and the joy disappeared again. You reached for the datapad and Alpha let you have it. He had done everything he could to convince you to stay. There was nothing more he could do, unless he wanted to try to force you to stay. Though that idea wasn’t the worst he had ever had…
You accepted the call, letting the holoprojection of your supervisor appear and fold her arms. “Was that enough time for you, administrator?”
“It was plenty,” you told her, sounding fully professional once more. “In fact, just long enough for me to decide that I won’t be leaving. I started this report and I intend to finish it.”
“Your resignation was not optional-”
“If my resignation were not optional, you wouldn’t need me to fill out the form. In fact, you never would have given me the option. You would have fired me this morning in Nala Se’s office. You need me to sign this resignation.”
It was a testament to how self-assured you sounded that Alpha stopped his journey around your desk.
“I was trying to give you a graceful exit,” the supervisor snapped. “If you refuse to sign the resignation form, I will have no choice but to terminate your employment.”
Your voice got, if possible, less concerned. “You can’t. In the Senate workforce contract - updated and validated last year - the Republic refreshed and strengthened their employee work protection standards under Article 14, Subsection B, Subheading: Deadlines, Timelines, and Work Hour Requirements.”
Alpha was fully lost as you continued to list off the rules and regulations that governed your job and Brid’s. But he knew enough to understand exactly what was happening: you were putting Brid in her place, neatly and professionally, but without leaving room for misunderstanding. Brid tried to get the last word, insisting that you leave anyway, but you refused, naming another solid reason. You shut down Brid’s final attempt and watched peacefully as your supervisor cut the transmission.
He had a stupid look on his face, Alpha knew he did, but he didn’t really care. “That’s my smart neverd’ika.”
You smiled at him, but your eyes were thoughtful. “You called me something else earlier. What was it?”
Haar’chak, had he said something stupid out loud? Surely he hadn’t… Maybe he had…
Alpha’s perfect memory provided him what he was looking for: Listen,cyare, I’ve seen the kind of information you’re collecting…
Beloved.
He had called you beloved.
It had been an abstract form of endearment for most of his life, vaguely floating around when he thought of you, but he hadn’t ever said it out loud.
Until, apparently, that day.
The only thing to do was bluff. “Did I? Do you remember the word?”
You watched him for a moment while Alpha waited with his heart in his mouth. “No. I don’t. It sounded nice, though.”
The relief was so strong that Alpha stood, giving a wordless grunt to disguise his self-censure. “You’re done with work for the day, right?”
It was only when you smiled at him that he realized he was wearing a stupid-looking grin. “Yes, I am. I have a feeling that I won’t get far from here. Besides, I think I’ll wait to see how much the Republic moves my timeline before I dive into the next section.”
“Good. I have something to show you.”
Alpha left your office without another word, worried he would say something stupid if he said anything at all. You followed him without asking any questions. When he finally reached the place he had in mind, he opened the door and guided you outside ahead of him with only the slightest press against your arm.
You crossed the threshold, staring around curiously before you gave a loud gasp. Alpha smiled to himself, satisfied that he had found something you would enjoy. It was a low-hanging balcony that gave a great view of Kamino’s oceans around the stilts of Tipoca City. The sun was even occasionally shining from behind the clouds. This was the best possible day he could have brought you here and - though he had thought about this moment often - Alpha was glad this was the day it finally happened.
He stepped out onto the balcony behind you, struggling to share the tiny space with you and not overwhelm you with his much larger form. When you turned your head to look at him, Alpha half-expected you to ask him to back up or tell him that you were uncomfortable.
Instead, you smiled, knocking Alpha’s breath away immediately.
“Alpha, this is amazing! How did you find this?”
Producing a snort when he was so out of breath was difficult, but Alpha managed. “I’ve lived on Kamino most of my life. There isn’t an inch of this compound that I haven’t explored. This is the best place to just… get some distance.”
He moved a little closer, hardly able to believe that he was pushing his luck like this. Alpha put his hands on the railing on either side of your body, waiting to see whether you were going to lean away or… maybe… back toward him.
You didn’t do either of those - you didn’t even turn around - but you did give a satisfied sigh and say, “Thank you.”
It wasn’t the best-case scenario, but it was far from the worst. The mild imperfection lent the scene an air of realism that Alpha appreciated, having pictured this moment far more often than he would ever admit.
Alpha nodded. “Anytime.”
—
Author’s Note - Hopefully this helps make up for the emotional trauma of last week? Also, I’m going to be super needy this week. If you have a moment, please consider leaving comments, questions, or feedback of any kind. I just got out of the hospital (planned procedure, nothing to worry about) and I’m feeling really gross. I would love to hear thoughts about this chapter or the story so far!
I’ll be back with another chapter (chronological this time) next week!
You can read other works on my masterlist or sign up for my taglist here.
Kind of like domestic headcanons I guess? But really just focusing on the fact that even though this man acts like a big, scary bounty hunter, his natural instinct is to take care of those around him :’)
warnings: mentions of hunger, mentions of violence
-Din Djarin-
One of Mando’s main ways of showing affection is simply taking care of you. He makes sure you’re healthy, happy, and safe at all times and it’s something constantly on his mind. He views those close to him as being under his protection — it’s his jobto take care of them, and he’d feel guilty if he didn’t. So when you’re his s/o specifically, he takes that to an even higher level
You and the child always eat first. Always. Without. Question.
It’s not just because of his creed, but because the idea of you and Grogu having rumbling stomachs as you sleep is enough to keep him up at night – he’s seen what hunger does to people, and he’ll stick to just eating crumbs if it keeps you and Grogu fed
Once you made him eat first, since you felt bad he always got leftovers, and it took him ages to just take the dish to a room over
Only to come back from the other room after taking five bites and sliding the dish towards you and Grogu. “Here. Now eat.”
“But you hardly touched it,” you said, brow furrowing.
“I’ll be hungry once you and the child aren’t.”
Yeah. Very unhealthy caretaker mentality and he has no idea how to respond when that care is returned
Doesn’t like leaving you and Grogu by yourselves unless he knows/trusts a place well because the paranoia and anxiety eats him alive. What are you two doing? You’re staying in the ship like he asked? The Child is behaving? Neither of you appeared sick before he left, right?
So there’s a little checklist he goes through before he leaves
“You remember where the guns are?”
“Yes, Mando.”
“And the hiding spot if people get on the ship?”
“Mhmm.”
“Double-lock the ship once I’m off, alright?”
“Okie dokie.”
“And it doesn’t open again for anyone but me.”
“Mando.”
“If you’re ever uncertain, a shot to the leg is the best option.”
“Din.”
You and Grogu often sit in the seat behind him when he’s piloting the ship, and despite his reminders to go to bed, you end up falling asleep in the chair often. So, moving with painstaking care and cringing every time you or Grogu stir in your sleep, he’ll move you to your bed — which is basically a collection of every soft thing Mando could find on the ship
If you ever get nightmares he’ll let you curl up against him
When you’re out traveling, you try to suggest sleeping in shifts, but Mando always sets it up so that you only lose an hour or two of sleep while he takes on the brunt of keeping watch
You sometimes get frustrated with him for constantly throwing his own needs to the side and practically putting your needs up on an altar, so you stubbornly insist on taking care of him
And he’s like??? Someone??? Wants to take care of me?? What??
Listen, listen, I know I’ve never so much as mentioned Star Wars here, let alone the Mandalorian buuuut…. I could not resist. This blog is multi-fandom after all, so what’s more fandom to add to the variety?
-Din Djarin-
Whenever you’re in new areas, he always goes first to do a quick look around of the area – make sure it’s safe for you and Grogu and, if not, where the closest exit is. Then, he’ll usher you two in
He’s always hovering a step away until he’s 100% certain this new place is safe, intimidating strangers and making it very clear you’re under his protection
He just likes having you close, being able to have you in his arms and shelter you from everything else
He doesn’t touch you too often in public, simply because a Mandalorian being a bit too touchy could draw unwanted attention. It’s the little touches that convey just how much he cares for you: little nudges on your back when you need to walk past suspicious people faster, brushing against your shoulder just so you know he’s there
Scared of losing you in crowded areas, so he’ll gently grab your shoulder or the back of your shirt to avoid losing you
As protective as he is though, he isn’t suffocatingor anything. He lets you be independent and have fun, and keeps his paranoia to a minimum for your sake
Whenever trouble is rising, his body subconsciously shifts to stand between you and the danger
Hewilluse himself as a shield for you
Sometimes he has nightmares of bad things happening to you or Grogu. The best way for him to get through them is to just check up on you in the night, which usually results in him standing guard outside your bed/room for awhile
He teaches you the basics of combat after a particularly bad nightmare, so he could have some peace of mind
When violence arises, he always directs you and Grogu away from the gore – neither of you need to see that
Any sign of fear in you literally breaks his heart. He’s a protecter, and sees it as his job to keep you safe
If anyone so much as jokes about your safety, Mando will see red
The same brutal hands that pull triggers and end lives will be so delicatefor you, tucking back your hair and rubbing your hand
Mando has given you very specific instructions on what to do if something ever happens to him – safe houses, friends who owe him favors, where to find weapons/money, etc, so that you could basically survive without him in case… you know
summary: a recount of every time obi-wan kenobi fell in love with you and every time one of you left. - a.k.a “the one where your relationship is like a revolving door”
warnings: age gap, mentions of death
reviving this series from 2+ years ago - w some parts edited/rewritten - because i lost direction with it but the new kenobi series has made me fall back in love with him and also this. still tho, no spoilers in this. enjoy xx
-jazz
Obi-Wan Kenobi could have sworn that he was cursed with the most difficult Padawans.
Okay– technically speaking, you weren’t his Padawan. you’d lost your own master in a battle not so long ago and Obi-Wan had been tasked with seeing you through the final months before your Jedi trials. Initially, it was something that had seemed like a simple task. he’d dealt with Anakin for so long that you couldn’t have possibly been any worse, right?
Wrong.
Obi-Wan would quickly come to learn that Anakin Skywalker had nothing on you. He could tell from the minute he saw you, nonchalantly lounging in an empty council chair with your lightsaber dangling between your fingers and a blasé look of disinterest on your features. It was the sort of expression one might have if they were getting an unwarranted lecture from their parents – and with the way Yoda was going, it was a similar scenario.
At twenty-one years old, you were in no position to have such a demeanour when an ages-old Jedi Master was trying to talk to you. Obi-Wan was almost scared for you – and then your eyes met across the room, and he realised he was the one to be blessed with your difficult presence for the next few months. After that, he was scared for himself.
It was rightfully so, too. It became quickly evident that you had a sharp tongue and your wits about you; every question he offered, every conversation starter he threw out there was met with a backhanded comment or a dry quip.
Your first conversation was enough to knock him for six. he’d half-expected you to be a blubbering mess, a young girl heartbroken by the loss of her master. Instead, you were almost dismissive; a casually unconcerned Padawan with a cynical tone and a mischievous glint in your eye.
“So,” Obi-Wan cleared his throat, eyes watching Coruscant blur past you as the lift took you to the top floor. “What do you think of the Temple?”
“I mean…it sure is a temple,” you glanced back at him, thinning your eyes with undue suspicion. “I don’t really have many feelings about architecture. It’s just bricks and shit, right?”
He blinked in surprise, almost faltering from his strong stance. "Some people get overwhelmed the first time they’re here.”
“I’m not overwhelmed,” you shrugged casually. "I’m not underwhelmed either. I’m just sort of…whelmed.”
The first ten years of your training – give or take – had been at a smaller Jedi base, much, much further away in the Outer Rims. The village in which it was situated was about a tenth the size of Coruscant and worlds away from the bustling, energetic city. He remembered being a wide-eyed Padawan when he’d first arrived here and yet, you didn’t seem phased. You had a calm manner about you, something for which he had not been prepared. You weren’t acting like a Padawan who had just lost her master, nor one who had been torn from her home and thrown into an urban jungle.
“I’m sorry to hear about Gio’s passing,” Obi-Wan cleared his throat, making a last-ditch attempt to break the thick, awkward silence that had filled the elevator. Had it always been this slow?
“Eh,” you shrugged again.
Had…Had you just responded to the subject of your dead master by saying eh?
(That moment could be marked as the first time that you actually managed to shock the poor man into silence. Soon enough, it was a regular occurrence).
“I…” Obi-Wan trailed off, pausing for a moment to regain himself. “Gio was a good friend of mine. He was a good man, a good Jedi-”
“- yeahhhhhh,” you cut him off. “He was kind of a dick though.”
The elevator finally came to a stop and you stepped out, breezing down the hallway and leaving Obi-Wan to simply stare at your strolling form in shock. He cleared his throat and regathered himself (for the fourth time in ten minutes), rushing out of the lift just as the doors were about to shut on him.
That’s how things often went between you two over the next few months. he’d try and say something - usually, something completely normal, like a genuine question or an observation - and you would shoot back with something that could knock him off his feet. Just as Obi-Wan thought he was getting the hang of…well, of you, you’d turn it up a notch.
But you more than just a girl with a sharp tongue - he knew that when he met you, and he knew it even more as the days and weeks passed. You were smart, deceptive in an assuming way. You could draw people in with your young appearance and sweet smile, and then you’d slaughter them in the same way a cheetah did to a hyena. You had the presence of an intergalactic spy more than a Jedi, and the lightsaber moves to go with it.
There was one incident in particular that stuck with Obi-Wan. It was two months after you’d begun to bless him with your presence and you were in a training session. Anakin, a bright-eyed seventeen-year-old, was sat on the sidelines watching you twirl your lightsaber with the sort of grace one might expect from an ageing master, not a Padawan.
“Did your master teach you that?” Obi-Wan paused for a moment, pushing back a few strewn, strawberry strands of hair. He was red in the face, almost keeling over from your endless stamina and quick moves.
“No,” you shook your head, a sly grin working its way onto your face. “Itaught me that."
"Let’s go again,” he announced. "And this time, stick to moves that I"ve taught you.”
“Why?”you thinned your eyes at him. “Scared that you’lll lose?”
“If you spent more time on your fighting than you did try to be smart, you would have passed the trials by now,” he shot back. He was trying to get a rise out of you - he often did. It was his way of sparking your drive.
“Oh, you didnot just say that.”
You raised your own lightsaber launching yourself forward to swing a hit at him. Obi-Wan easily blocked it, the blue of his blade forming purple smacks as it hit your red one. You drew back, going to swing underneath his legs; he jumped, narrowly avoiding the hit.
“Just admit it!” you continued to thwack and hit, circling around the mat in the gym. “I’m ready for the trials, Kenobi.”
“That’sMaster-”
“- you’re not my Master,” You reminded him, dodging backwards to avoid a hit in a weird, limbo style move. “Gio was my master, and he’s dead, remember?”
You appeared to have zero grievances about your late master. Obi-Wan had never caught you mourning, or even shedding a tear over him. Of all the things he didn’t understand about you, that one seemed to take the cake. It had been eight years since he’d lost his own master and he still struggled with Qui-Gon’s passing - and here you were, more than happy to throw out the name of your deceased Jedi Knight like it was a curse word.
That was when Obi-Wan realised what your play was. you’d make a comment so blasphemous, so shocking, that he’d have no choice but to reel back in horror - and that was when you’d take your hit. Like I said - deceptive in an unassuming way.
Waiting for him to pause at your words, you used the Force to pull his lightsaber with your hands. A celebratory grin appeared on your face as you raised the weapon in the air, shutting it down as you juggled it with your own.
The moment wasn’t particularly different to anything you’d done before; you’d made a comment and won a lightsaber duel. That was pretty much a Tuesday for Obi-Wan - but this one stood out for a particular reason.
That was the first time he realised how beautiful you were.
You were stood directly under the stream of light from the window, the golden evening glow lighting up your face as you did an odd little victory dance. He could quite literallyfeelyour elatedness through the Force - which was odd, because you didn’t have a Force connection and you were good at blocking other nosy Jedi - and it had uplifted him too.
Then, you tossed Obi-Wan’s lightsaber back to him as quick as you’d swiped it, giving him a slight wink.
It wasn’t much, but it was the first sign of trouble.
The next incident came at the five-month mark. By that point, both him and Anakin had become accustomed to your presence. Obi-Wan was alittleconcerned of your rebellious influence over his young Padawan but if anything, you were simply like an older sibling. The teenager seemed to idolize you and he actually listened to you.
And you weren’t just developing a relationship with Anakin; naturally, you’d become closer with Obi-Wan. He liked to think that you were friends or at the very least, two people who mutually respected each other. You hardly listened to him but he’d known from the second that you weren’t huge on taking orders. At first, it was a mystery as to how you’d even lasted that long - but then it became clear.
You were strong with the Force. In fact, you seemed to understand it in a way that no-one else did. You were hardly an expert in using it but you were so sure of yourself and so certain in what you wanted that you could bend it and shape it to your desire. You could use it to fetch faraway items in the same way that you could use it to block other people from using it to understand how you were feeling.
But Obi-Wan saw through you. The whole world could tell, because you slammed doors and stomped your feet but he was the only one who could sense that was something was deeply off. You put up a good fight - an impressive barricade of fake Force emotions and even phonier smiles - but he knew when you weren’t genuine. Your sarcastic quips didn’t come with that glint in your eyes, and you hadn’t insulted him all day.
Thatwas how he ended up outside your door; Obi-Wan didn’t mean to worry about you so much, but it felt only natural. He was concerned for you in the same way he was for Anakin. Except, maybe- just maybe - it was a little deeper than that but if he could half-convince himself of it, hopefully you’d believe it too.
He only had to knock once before you opened the door to your quarters. Your eyes were slightly bleary; you hadn’t been crying, but it looked as though you were about to be pushed over the edge.
“I know that something was off with you today,” Obi-Wan didn’t bother with a greeting.
“I’mfine,”you shook your head. "It’s late. Shouldn’t old people like you be asleep?”
He thinned his eyes at you. “It doesn’t do well to bottle up your feelings."
"How do you know what I’m feeling?” you shot back. Turning on your heel, you spun around to head back into your room. Obi-Wan was hesitant to follow at first, but he took the open-ended statement as an invitation.
He hadn’t been in your room before, but somehow it was exactly as he’d expected it to be. The place was tidy-but-cluttered; your bed was made and your books were organised, but there were robes and random knick-knacks stacked and strewn everywhere. He didn’t understand how you could have possibly used the space to meditate and relax - but you didn’t seem like the sort of person who did either of those things.
“So?”
“So what?”
“So how do you know what I’m feeling?” you took a seat at the foot of your bed, folding your arms across your chest.
“When you’ve been a Jedi as long as I have, sensing other people’s emotions simply becomes second nature,” Obi-Wan replied. “Especially in your...Padawans.”
“Okay - two things,” you jabbed your finger at him. “Firstly, I am not your Padawan. Secondly, I don’t spend twenty minutes each morning trying to put a Force blockade for you to pretend to know what I’m feeling.”
“There’s no blockade,” he shook his head. “There can’t be, not if I can tell that you’re anxious and you’re scared-”
“- there is,” you cut him off. "I might have not passed the Knight trials yet but blocking people from feeling my emotions was like….chapter one of the Jedi texts.”
There was always the possibility that your attempts at doing so had simply fallen flat, but you were right in saying it was a basic Jedi trick. It was a simple device, something that he’d mastered himself by the time he was eighteen. That left only one option, and it was one that he didn’t like.
Obi-Wan could see through your facade, through your attempts to hinder people from feeling your sentiments. He could feel your emotions as though were his own, as if he could understand them in a way that no-one else could. You weren’t making yourself vulnerable to him, not intentionally. There was only one possible explanation for it.
It was the beginning of a Force connection - one that neither of you had ever intended to forge.
He couldn’t tell you that. He’d have to explain why, but he wasn’t entirely sure what it meant. It certainly wasn’t one of a Padawan and her master; that would have taken much longer. It was also worlds away from any kind of connection that friends would have - and that’s what the pair of you were, no?
So Obi-Wan gave you a fake smile. He agreed with you, pretending to admit that yes, he was pretending to feel your emotions. He didn’t admit that he felt everything you were experiencing; he didn’t tell you that he could sense every fleeting thought and every transient connection…
…Including the one where you suspected you might have felt something too.
But, you and Obi-Wan were nothing if not good at pretending you were hiding your feelings. He left your room that night and neither of you ever mentioned it again, even though you both knew what it was. What had started as a simple admiration for the other had begun to grow into something beyond either of your control.
It was easy at first to pretend that you falling for the Jedi; sliding closer and closer down the slippery slope of unrequited feelings with each passing day. Every smile that you exchanged and every glint of mischief that Obi-Wan sensed whenever you made a sarcastic quip was passed off as normal; nobody else could tell what was going on - and thank fuck, because then you’d both be truly screwed.
It was eight months in that the cracks in your guise began to show. You were on a mission - nothing particularly dangerous or out of the ordinary. Having been assigned to take down some particularly nasty and rebellious bounty hunters, you, Obi-Wan and Anakin felt a little over-qualified for the job but it was all the more reason to do it. You were desperate to prove yourself, to finally be awarded knighthood.
Perhaps it was that cockiness that lead you to slip up. You ended up with a knife in your shoulder, dangerously close to your chest; it was bad, but not so bad that you were going to lifelessly flail to the ground, or die on the jet home. With some bacta-spray and a few stitches, you were going to be fiiiiine.
Obi-Wan didn’t see it that way though. Oh, he did not see it that way at all; the Jedi knight blew his lid in a way that shocked even Anakin, and that was truly saying something when you considered his Padawan’s reckless nature. He yelled - he shouted and he ranted and he nagged until his throat was raw and his face red.
“How could you do something so stupid? I almost - we almost lost you. Do you want to be a Jedi knight? Because you can’t do that if you’re dead, and you certainly won’t pass the trials if you blindly run towards danger like that.”
You weren’t an idiot - and it didn’t take one to know that Obi-Wan’s outburst wasn’t about the trials. It wasn’t about you being reckless; it was far from it. It was the fact he could have lost you, and even though you’d only been in his life for the better part of eight months, he’d never become attached so fast. You’d made him do the one thing he’d always sworn not to and the worst part was that you weren’t even trying.
You were just there, simply existing - and apparently, it was enough to drive him insane.
Then, you’d been there ten months. You’d been prancing about Obi-Wan Kenobi’s life with your beautiful stature and stupid comments for the better part of three hundred days (not that he was counting). Your repressed feelings for one another were simply a fact of life; something you both acknowledged to yourselves but would never, ever admit. You couldn’t and you wouldn’t - or so you told yourself.
It was common for Jedi to accompany politicians on diplomatic missions; you were to act as a bodyguard of sorts and keep an eye out for any danger. You and Obi-Wan had been assigned to keep an eye on a ball in Naboo.
It was a beautiful planet; bustling and peaceful, energetic and calming all at once. The weather was beautiful and it was one of the missions that made your job feel worth it. Everything had gone to plan and you’d even retired early for the night, taking to the balcony of your luxurious hotel room to admire the view.
The sky was tinged pink, bleeding into the remaining blue of the evening as the day faded out into night. There was a slight chill in the warm air, a welcome contrast to the otherwise stuffy atmosphere that had been shrouding the planet during the day.
You heard your hotel room door open - you didn’t need to turn around to see who it was. You could sense Obi-Wan from the other side of the galaxy if you had tried, let alone ten metres away. He had a calm presence, one of a weathered and levelled Jedi who probably meditated a lot. Neither part of that statement was something you could relate to.
“Nice view, right?” you kept your back to him, arms gently dangling over the rails of the balcony.
“It certainly one of the more beautiful parts of the galaxy,” Obi-Wan replied. A moment later, you saw him mimic your position out the corner of your eye.
"What brings you to my neck of the woods?” you asked, tilting your head to face him.
He knew what he wanted to say: I can feel everything that you’re experiencing and I know that you’re sad, but this is the best planet in the galaxy and I can’t work out why.
But because of the slight not-admitting-your-feelings pickle, Obi-Wan settled for a simple “you looked sad today.”
He’d half been expecting an insult; a fuck off, you nosy Jedi or a go back to whatever planet you came from, mullet head. He had never in a million years thought that you would entertain his question, let alone open up to him.
“I used to come here with Gio,” you continued to stare out into the distance. "He worked with the Queen a lot and more often than not, we’d be assigned this exact sort of job. It was kind of our place.”
That was the first sign you’d shown of missing your master. Maker, of course you missed him - you’d spent the better part of your almost-twenty-two years with him. He was an asshole in every sense of the word but he’d been like a brother to you. It also confirmed to Obi-Wan that you were probablya human being and not a sarcastic, person-like droid, something which came of a relief to him.
“I slag the man off to no end but I loved him,” you continued. "He was the only family I had, the only connection to an identity beyond being a Padawan.”
“I felt the same when I lost Qui-Gon,” Obi-Wan reached across, gently resting his hand on top of yours. “I felt lost without his guidance, as though the world were suddenly a lot bigger. A lot darker.”
“Gio always seemed to know what to do,” you fondly smiled. "He definitely didn’t know everything but he was good at acting like it.”
“Perhaps that’s where youget it from,” he nudged you slightly with his elbow.
"If I turn out half as good a Jedi as him, then I’m happy,” you replied.
"You are a brilliant Jedi, farmore than half as good as Gio,” Obi-Wan gave your hand a light squeeze. "A little reckless, yes, but you have all the makings of a brilliant warrior.”
“Is this the part where you tell me it’s because of your training over the last ten months?” you fully rotated your body around to face him, a teasing smile on your face.
“Isuppose that might have helped,” he beamed back at you. "It’s not been an easy situation for either of us. I’ve got my hands tied up with Anakin and you lost your master at the worst time.”
“It"s not been that bad though, surely?” you scrunched up your nose. “I’d love to have me, I’m pretty fucking cool.”
“You are.”
“Say it,” you flipped your hand over underneath his, intertwining your fingers. "I’ve never heard you swear before.”
“Say what?”
“That I’m pretty fucking cool.”
Obi-Wan bit his lip for a moment - but then he smiled. “You’re pretty fucking cool.”
It was hardly the most romantic set-up for your first kiss but as the words left his lips, you felt something click. You were miles out from the temple - miles out from all your troubles. At that moment, with the way he was smiling at you, blue eyes distant caught under the pink of the evening and fingers intertwined, it felt like you were the only two people in the galaxy.
Obi-Wan"s lips were soft, welcoming and warm like a mellow summer’s day. Your bodies slotted together perfectly, his hands on your hips and yours on his neck as though whoever had created the galaxy had crafted them just for each other. It stole the air from your lungs and nothing else - not a single person, not a single issue or single rule - mattered. It was him and only him.
That was when he finally admitted to himself that he was in love with you. It wasn’t in a simple way either; it was deep and it was true and there was no letting go.
And letting go would be something both of you struggled with every time the galaxy seemed to want to rip the two of you apart.
Plot: It has been four months since the last time Obi-Wan and Y/n saw each other. Reunited on a strange planet, they learn that their feelings for one another still remain. While stranded together, the time apart seems to have only made it harder for them to resist their hidden desires.
Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x GN!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of fighting, violence, blood (not graphic). Not really a warning, but this is a bit of a slow-burn part, but I still hope you like it.
As you stirred the tea in your mug, you stared out the window of your shelter. It was quiet, as usual, with no people for miles. It was just you out here, by yourself, surrounded by trees and mountains.
You had begun to get used to it, but sometimes you still yearned for company. Specifically that of Obi-Wan. You often fondly remembered the long conversations you had together, and how easy it was to talk to him.
You thought you would think of him less, the longer you were apart, but you were wrong. You often thought back on that day when you went on your last mission together. How close you got to breaking the rules. You could still remember the feel of his face brushing against yours, his lips pressed against your skin.
Letting your mind wander even more, you thought back to the day you left the resistance base, four months ago. Yoda had given you this mission, to be a Jedi spy out in the distant system. You couldn’t refuse him, even if he did not give you a reason for sending you off alone.
As you were packing up your things, Anakin and Obi-Wan came to see you off. When you had a moment alone with Obi-Wan, he expressed his concerns.
“Do you not think me ready?” You asked, somewhat offended.
He sighed and shook his head. “I think you more than qualified. It’s just-” He didn’t finish, but instead turned and stared off in the distance.
You spoke softly, daring to ask. “Is it that you will miss me?”
When he turned to you, you had a soft, almost playful smile on your face. A soft smile spread across his own face as well, as he nodded once. “Yes Y/n, I will miss you.” Turning and taking a step closer he peered into your eyes. “I also worry for you, out there on your own.”
You looked down at your feet. “Yes. It’s odd to think of being so alone. Especially after being here with everyone.”
“I only hope your mission does not keep you away long.”
Looking back up at him, you caught something in his gaze that he seemed to quickly hide. You smiled and nodded. “I hope so too.” Turning, you looked at the ship, as the pilot waved to you, signalling he was ready.
“It’s time.” You said softly, before turning back to him.
You were surprised when he suddenly took your hand in his. You felt him press something into your palm, closing your fist around it.
“Do not forget who you are Y/n.” Then he continued, with an even quieter voice “And do not forget to come back to me.” He smiled softly at you, an almost melancholy smile, before he released your hand and stepped back.
You hesitated for a moment, before you turned and walked to the ship. As you boarded, you turned once more, to see Anakin and the others waving you off. Opening your hand, you looked at the object Obi-Wan had given you, and you felt your chest tighten. It was a pendant, for a neck chain, the symbol of the Jedi order. You knew it was risky for him to give you something like this, especially when going off as spy. But you would keep it safe, to remind you of who you were, and where you belonged.
Looking up, you locked eyes with Obi-Wan one last time as the doors closed, you felt your gut clench as you wondered how long it would be before you saw him again.
Getting up from the table, you walked over to the corner of the room, uncovering a trunk. Opening it you reached in, pulling out a small box. Opening it, you pulled out the pendant that Obi-Wan had given you, which you now had on a chain.
You smiled to yourself as you ran your fingers over it. You let out a long sigh, as homesickness washed over you. The Clone Wars seems to be coming to a head, and you were stuck out here, when you should be with the resistance. You felt restless, useless.
Suddenly, your window was blown in by a weapons blast, causing you to throw yourself to the floor. You grabbed your nearby blaster as you waited, heart pounding.
“Come out Jedi scum!” You heard a metallic voice ring out.
‘Droids?’You cursed under your breath as you realized your cover was blown. Someone in the town must have recognized you last time you went. Looking at the still open trunk, you saw your cloaks and light-saber. Grabbing them, and a subspace transceiver, you ran out the back door.
As you ran through the woods, you heard the droid voices nearby, followed by more blasting into shelter you had called home over the last four months.
Hiding behind a large tree you began to send a message to the resistance base. Telling them your cover was blown, and you were on the run. You were unsure of when they would get the message, or how long you would be on your own.
As a tree beside you was suddenly blown apart, you ducked before continuing to run further into the woods, aware you were now being chased.
—————–
Obi-Wan listened to your message, as it played throughout the room. Your voice was hushed and panicked, in the background he could hear the clear sound of weapons fire. The rest of the council shared concerned looks as Yoda carefully watched Obi-Wan.
“I shall go.” Obi-Wan said with a resolute look at Master Yoda.
Yoda hummed to himself as he studied Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan knew why he was somewhat resistant to the thought, but he would not back down.
Surprisingly, he did not question Obi-Wan, or resist, but nodded his head. “Yes, go you shall. Find Y/n, you will. And return soon.”
Obi-Wan nodded in thanks, before bowing lightly and turning to leave. His thoughts raced as he hurried to his jet. Your message was hours old, and it would take him much longer than he’d like to get to the planet. He hoped you had not been captured, or killed.
'Hold out Y/n. For me. I’m coming.’ He thought deeply to himself, part of him reaching out with the force, hoping that somehow, you could hear him.
What he found when he arrived at the coordinates of your shelter caused his chest to clench. Your shelter had been completely destroyed, and there was no sign of you.
Following the tracks he could find entering the forest, he knew you had been followed by a small army of droids. Along the path, he discovered multiple droid bodies, clearly cut down by your saber.
Eventually, the woods grew thicker and dark, as the evening fog began to descend on him. Looking down into a distant valley, he spotted the group of droids looking or you.
Feeling a nearby presence, he pulled out his saber. Looking into the dense forest, he saw movement through the fog. He knew not if it was you, a native, or a droid. Slowly, he creeped into the fog, attempting to follow the figure.
As he rounded a small rock mound, he noted the empty clearing. Feeling movement behind him, he swung around, unleashing his saber, only for it to clash with another’s.
“Obi-Wan” Your voice rang out, full of surprise and relief.
Obi-Wan let out a breath as he saw you, quickly redrawing his saber. Putting your own away, you looked at him breathlessly. “You came.”
“Of course I did.”
He saw an odd look in your eyes, as if there was something you wanted to say. Clearing your throat a bit you stepped a bit closer. “Please tell me you have a ship nearby.”
He nodded, “Yes, we should go quickly.” His gaze washed over you and he hesitated when he saw your side covered in blood.
Seeing where his gaze was drawn, you looked down at our bloodied clothes. “It’s not as bad as it looks.” You said with a soft laugh.
Turning, he looked around, seeing a small cave nearby. “Come, in here, let me take a look.”
Watching him walk away, you felt your heart pounding heavily. Taking a deep breath you followed him. “Did Anakin not come as well? You two are usually inseparable.”
Obi-Wan looked back at you and smiled softly. “He was busy.”
Looking around the small cave, you hoped it was not the home to any creatures. You jumped slightly when you felt Obi-Wan suddenly touch your side.
“Sorry.” He said softly as he tugged at your shirt. “You are right, it’s not as bad as it looks, but you’ve been running with this wound, and you’ve lost a concerning amount of blood.” Looking out of the cave, you saw him considering what to do. “The ship is a bit too far I think. And the droids are in the opposite direction. I think we should stay here for the night.”
You looked out at the darkening forest and sighed. “You are probably right. I’ve come across some nasty creatures that prowl this forest at night.” As you spoke, you stretched out your arm, revealing a long scar along your forearm.
Obi-Wan grabbed your wrist, looking at the scar. He felt his gut clench lightly at the thought of what you had to deal with our here. He met our eyes. “I hope this is the only scar you’ve received out here.”
You shrugged your head a bit, suggesting there were more. You saw him frown slightly before he walked into the cave, looking around. You watched him for a moment as you let out a long breath.
Butterflies were erupting through your stomach, and you silently cursed them, having hoped maybe you could have repressed some of your feelings while while gone.
As darkness descended, you sat against the cold cave wall watching silently as Obi-Wan stood just outside the cave, listening and watching. In the distance you heard a long animalistic howl and you shivered. Recognizing the call of the animal that had almost taken your life a month earlier.
As Obi-Wan walked back into the cave he watched you closely. “The droid army is far away from us, we are safe.”
Sitting down across from you, he looked you over. Your hair had grown, and you looked worn out. His eyes stopped on your neck, as he spotted the Jedi pendant. He felt his heart palpitate and his neck grow hot. Clearing his throat, you looked over at him.
“Are things as bad as I hear? I haven’t been able to get any confirmation, only whispers from the people in town.”
“They are certainly not as good as I would like.”
“And things are only going to get worse, aren’t they?”
“I’m afraid so.”
You nodded your head as you looked out at the dark forest. “I felt useless out here.” You admitted.
“You are not useless, and you never have been. I have heard of the information you have gathered. Information that has helped the resistance considerably.”
You fiddled with your hands. “Did Master Yoda ever reveal why he sent me out here? Did I do something wrong? Did he not trust me to be with the resistance?”
Obi-Wan felt his guilt and dejection wash over him. “It was not that he did not trust you Y/n. It was that he did not trust me.”
You looked up at him, “What do you mean?”
As he stared at you silently, contemplating, you felt your ears grow hot as your mind began to race. Slowly, Obi-Wan spoke, his voice hesitant. “He could sense the conflict within me. My feelings for you. He was afraid it would effect my judgment.”
Your heart was pounding heavily in your chest. “So he sent me away?”
Obi-Wan looked down at his feet. “Yes. I am sorry.”
“I understand.” Obi-Wan looked at you inquisitively. “If he could feel the conflict within you, surely he could sense it within me as well. And you are much stronger than me, a better Jedi, more important. If he had to send someone away, it makes sense that it was me.”
Obi-Wan watched your face closely as you stared at the ground. He could tell your mind was racing, as you tried to suppress the strong emotions racing through you.
“But-” You began, slowly looking up at him. “Why did he allow you to come for me now?”
A small, almost unnoticeable smile crossed his lips. “Because he knew I would trust no one else to come”
Your eyes stayed locked, as you felt tension begin to grow. Forcing yourself to look away, you knew the more you talked, the harder it would be to repress your feelings. But, there was something you needed to know, needed to say.
“I-” You began, but faltered.
Obi-Wan watched you as you hesitated. “What?” He asked softly.
“It is possible that I imagined it, out of fear when I was fleeing, but…I thought that I, heard you. Before you got here.”
Obi-Wan felt his heart jolt as he as up straighter. “What did you hear?”
“I heard your voice in the back of my head. Saying ’Hold out Y/n. For me. I’m coming.’” I thought maybe it was just me trying to convince myself that the Jedi were coming to help me, perhaps to calm myself.“
"It was me.” He said abruptly.
You met his eyes and saw them full of surprise. “It was?”
He nodded once as he stood, walking over to you. Kneeling down in front of you he stared intently at you. “When I was leaving the resistance base to come to you, I thought those words. I sent them out with the force, hoping that you could hear me, but I didn’t know if you would. But you did.”
You nodded, unable to find any words. Your eyes were locked as various emotions washed over you. You knew his own eyes were reflecting yours.
As a cold wind blew through the cave, you wrapped your cloak around you tighter and looked away from him.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath as he moved to sit beside you, shielding you somewhat from the cold. His shoulder was pressed close against yours as you sat in silence.
You felt exhaustion begin to wash over you as the adrenaline of the day began to fade. Feeling Obi-Wan so close, you had nervous butterflies in your stomach. But even more, you felt safe, and relieved to be by his side.
As your eyes began to grow heavy, your body slowly began to relax and slump. Your thoughts had begun to grow foggy as you felt your head droop, resting on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. You felt him tense up for a moment before he relaxed. You knew you should move, but you could find no strength to.
Feeling Obi-Wan reach over and adjust your cloak so it was covering you completely, you let out a soft breath. “Obi-Wan?”
“Yes?” His soft voice met your ears.
“Thank you for coming to get me.”
There was a moment of silence as you began to drift into sleep. You thought for a moment, through the fog, that you felt him press his lips softly to your head. Followed by his whispered voice. “Always.”
And then there was darkness.
—————–
Staring out into the forest as the dawn light shone through the fog, you and Obi-Wan stood side by side, listening and waiting for any sign that the droids might be nearby.
After a few more moments, Obi-Wan let out a deep breath and nodded his head. “Lets go.”
Following him silently, you looked back once more at the cave, before you headed into the forest behind him. You walked silently, both of you aware you could be ambushed at any moment if the droids had returned to this side of the planet.
When you returned to what had been your shelter, you took a moment to look it over. Obi-Wan watched you silently, before you turned and nodded to him, signalling you were ready to move on.
“The ship is not too far from here.” He said quietly as he looked around.
“Do you remember the last mission we went on?” You asked softly.
Obi-Wan met your eyes and nodded. You were certain his mind flashed to the moment you had on the ship afterwards, just as yours had. But you were referring to that gut feeling, that something was going to go wrong.
“I have the same feeling I did on that planet.” You spoke as you looked into the nearby trees.
Obi-Wan nodded. “As do I.”
Following Obi-Wan away from the shelter, your defenses were up, both of you expecting to run into droids any moment. Hearing something nearby, you both stopped and listened.
Closing your eyes, you listened intently, reaching out with the force as best you could. Feeling as though something was coming up from behind, you did not hesitate. Taking out your saber, you spun and threw it into the woods behind you.
Obi-Wan spun around, watching as the saber went into the darkness, before clearly slicing trough some hidden droids. As your saber came back to you, Obi-Wan unleashed his own, watching you and waiting for more to come out, but none did.
You looked back at him and saw the clear surprise in his gaze at your actions. You shrugged lightly “When you are out here alone for as long as me, its easier to feel a disturbance.”
A soft smile graced his face as you both turned, hearing movement in the distance again. “There will be more between us and the ship.”
You nodded. “I’m ready if you are.”
After a short moment, he began to move, as you quickly followed him. You ventured through the woods cautiously, trying to go around the group of droids, waiting to avoid a fight if you could.
Spotting the ship in a nearby clearing, you saw a group of droids waiting around it, watching for you to come near. You and Obi-Wan crouched down behind a group of boulder-like rocks and watched the droids.
“I count seven.”
“Eight.” You added, and he looked over at you.
You motioned your head at the trees, and he looked up, spotting a hidden sentury drone in the trees.
“Very good. You’ve grown stronger.”
“I had no choice.” You said softly, aware that Obi-Wan looked over at you watching you closely.
“Once we get away from here, you must tell me all that transpired over your time here.”
Looking over and meeting his gaze, you smiled softly. “I’m sure you have some stories of your own too.”
He met your gaze softly for a moment before you both turned and looked back at the ship. “Ready?” He asked and you nodded silently.
Simultaneously you snuck out from behind the rocks and moved through the bushes, going separate directions, and getting as close as you could before you attacked. Getting right behind some of the droids, you looked across the clearing, spotting Obi-Wan behind two other droids. One nod and you both acted.
Slicing though the two droids, you grabbed a blaster and shot the sentry drone out of the tree. Obi-Wan took out two droids before the remaining three began to fire on the two of you. Diving behind a tree, you watched as Obi-Wan advanced on the droids. Firing on one of the droids with the blaster, you could hear droids coming from the distance, having heard the blaster fire.
As Obi-Wan took out the last two droids, you ran for the ship. As a blast hit the ship beside you, you spun around and began firing on the droids coming from the woods. Obi-Wan called out for you as the ship doors began to close.
Quickly diving into the ship, you returned more fire on the droids as the ship door closed. Obi-Wan quickly ran to the cock-pit as you heard more blaster fire hitting the ship. Following him to the cock-pit, you took the fighter seat preparing to fire on the droids as you took off.
“This is the most fun I’ve had in months.” You grinned as you fired down at the droids, taking the rest of them out.
You could see Obi-Wan roll his eyes, but he could barely repress his own smile at your comment.
When you were finally out of orbit, you let out a long drawn out breath as you watched the planet fade from view. You said a silent, but gladdened goodbye.
“At least we escape with less injuries this time.” You said as you leaned back in your seat.
He looked over at you and smiled, but looked at your still bloodied clothes. “How is your wound?”
You gently set your hand on your side. “Could be worse.”
Obi-Wan watched you for a moment before tearing his eyes away from you, trying to repress the memories of what happened in the ship the last time you were together alone.
Some time passed in silence, before you voiced your most recent thoughts. “Do you think, once we return, Master Yoda will let me stay?”
Obi-Wan looked over at you, he had not thought about it. “I do not know. But if you want to stay, I will fight for it.”
“Don’t you think that might make him suspicious?” You asked, half joking.
He smiled lightly. “Perhaps. But either way, his plan failed, so he might as well let you stay. ”
You furrowed your brow. “What do you mean his plan failed?” You asked cautiously.
Obi-Wan paused for a moment, uncertain if he should elaborate. Meeting your eyes, he knew the tension between the two of you was still there, and there it would remain.
Turning his seat to face you, he let out a soft breath. “It was Master Yoda’s intention to separate us, so that, perhaps, over time, the feelings that we have would fade. I know not how, or if your feelings have changed. But mine have not. In fact, I think it only made them grow, us being apart, it simply made me think of you more often.”
You were surprised by his words, surprised that he would so openly admit this to you. You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I feel the same.” Your voice was soft and shy as you held his gaze.
Obi-Wan felt the tightness in his chest growing as his eyes scanned your face. His eyes lingered on your lips, and he felt unsure if he could continue to ignore the tension that grew thick between you.
You recalled what happened last time you almost failed to suppress your feelings. You remembered how close he was, his breath against your cheek as he whispered 'If Only’.
Clearing your throat, you tore your gaze from his “I should go rest.” You said as you stood up.
Your breath caught in your throat as he stood as well. You were right in front of each other, chests almost touching. You met his gaze and almost staggered when you realized how close he was. His hands reached out and gently grabbed your arms, steadying you.
Your eyes were locked once again, but unlike before, you seemed unable to find the strength to look away. Obi-Wan’s breath was uneven as he gently held your arms, keeping you there, keeping you close.
He knew he should let go, let you leave, walk away. He should. He needed to.
He couldn’t.
As if the tension between you snapped like a bolt of lighting, your lips met in a rough kiss. His hands wrapped around your waist as he pulled you as close as he could, deepening the kiss as much as he could. Your hands gripped his cloaks tightly as you returned the kiss fervently, your mind blank, as your whole body seemed to tingle.
You felt one of his hands grip the back of your head, burying his fingers in your hair. You moved your arms, wrapping them around his neck as you felt you needed to be closer, but knew you couldn’t possibly be closer than you already were.
You weren’t sure how long you had been kissing before you both seemed to come to your senses. Pulling apart, your breaths heavy and uneven as your eyes burned into each others.
You felt a sense of unease wash over you as you stepped back, out of his arms. “We shouldn’t have done that.” Stepping away again, you regretfully looked away and left the room, heading further into the ship.
Obi-Wan watched you leave, almost going after you, but stopping himself with a reminder of who he was. He let out a long ragged breath as he closed his eyes. The feeling of your lips against his was still present in his mind, and he knew he would not forget it easily.
Sitting back down, he put his head in his hands, shaming himself, knowing that he failed. But no matter how hard he tried, he could not truly feel shame, because he knew he wanted to kiss you, that he did not regret it, as much as he should. And he knew he wanted to kiss you again and again, if only he could, but he couldn’t. This had to be the last time.
You had not spoken to Obi-Wan the rest of the trip. And as you got off the ship, back at the resistance base, side by side, shoulders brushing, you felt his hand graze yours, and thought for a moment he was going to grasp it. But as you saw Anakin and Master Yoda enter the room, you pulled away.
You smiled as Anakin walked up to you. “Hello Anakin.”
Hugging you, he pulled away. “I’m glad you are alright.”
“Returned safely you have. Glad I am.” Master Yoda said.
You looked down at him and bowed your head. “I am glad to be back Master.”
Yoda hummed as he studied you and Obi-Wan before he nodded his head. “Rest you must. Come, come.”
You spared a glance at Obi-Wan before you followed Master Yoda out of the room, beginning to answer questions Anakin began to trow at you.
—————-
Rushing into the room, you saw Obi-Wan nearby. Seeing you enter, he faced you as you approached.
“I heard you are leaving already?” You asked.
Obi-Wan nodded, “Yes. Senator Palpatine has been kidnapped, me and Anakin, have been assigned with his rescue, we are leaving immedietely.”
You nodded your head as you stared past his shoulder. Obi-Wan studied you, seeing that you had a lot you wanted to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but you broke in.
“I have a bad feeling Obi-Wan.” He saw the concern evident in your eyes. “I feel like something very bad is going to happen soon.”
Looking around, he made sure you were alone before he took a small step closer. Gently, he took your hand in his and squeezed it lightly. “I will return soon, and we will continue this fight, together.”
He saw your face fall for a moment before you spoke. “I wont be here Obi-Wan.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I have talked with Master Yoda. With everything going on, we need to be vigilant, the Jedi will be spreading out along the galaxy, to prepare for anything that might happen.”
“He is sending you away again?” He asked, his emotion rising.
“I volunteered.” You admitted, and you saw surprise cross his face.
“It’s better this way. I’m too much of a distraction, especially now.”
His chest grew tight, as pulled you closer, he spoke softly. “Where will you go?”
You shook your head. “I don’t know yet.” You lied.
He let out a soft breath. “I will see you again. When this is all over.”
You met his gaze, and felt yourself unable to hold back your emotion. You wrapped your arms around him in a hug. He hesitated for a moment, before he wrapped his own arms around you.
“Be careful.” You whispered.
“And you.” He replied.
Pulling away, you moved to step away, but he grabbed your hand. You saw him fighting between his emotions before he stepped closer to you. His face was close to yours, lips almost brushing. Bringing his hand up he gently caressed your cheek. You closed your eyes and let out a soft breath.
Your heart seemed to stop, as you felt his lips gently press against yours in a soft kiss, that ended almost as fast as it had begun.
When he pulled away, you opened your eyes, and met his equally emotional gaze. Grabbing his hand, you pressed something within his fist. “Don’t forget who you are Obi-Wan.” You said, repeating words he had once told you.
He frowned slightly as you let go of his hand. Stepping back, you looked at him one more time before you turned and walked away, fighting tears that threatened to spill. You pushed away the intrusive thought in the back of your mind, telling you, that this was the last time you would ever see Obi-Wan Kenobi.
He watched you disappear with an aching heart. Looking down at his hand, his breath caught in his throat as he stared down at the pendant. The one he had given you before you left for your mission months before.
Looking up, he felt an overwhelming urge to chase after you, but as the doors slid open and Anakin entered, he knew he was too late.
If only he had one more chance to tell you how he felt.
If only this was not the last time he would see you for what would feel like, a very long time.
