#and sad
I’m a mess. Venting under the cut.
Sorry I’ve been gone, but things aren’t going great. Had so many finals I was about to lose my mind. I won’t bore you with the details, but I decided to leave my 2 heaviest exams for July and extend university for half a year. I’m still gonna have a ton of work to do, but I won’t be doing the practice rounds this semester. All of this, if I can pass this exam, which I can only pass if they let me enter campus, and they might not, because I forgot to sign a thing that says I’m vaccinated and no symptoms, etc., which I was supposed to sign 72 hours prior to entrance, and my exam’s on Tuesday. See, I’m a mess. Last time I had a similar thing happen, and now, this. Tomorrow I’m gonna call the uni and ask what to do, and I’ll tell them “I’m a paying costumer, let me in or else”, and hope that works. They wanna treat us like they’re corporate assholes trying to make money all the time, we’ll treat them like it too.
tw: cancer
There’s something else that’s draining me, and that is family. I have an aunt that for a year has been struggling with cancer, and now it’s gotten to the point where she might not make it. We’re still hoping for a miracle, but at this point, that’d be the only way. I’m trying to compartmentalize, so that I can still focus on studying. But that’s about the only thing I can do. I have no energy for anything else. Plus, my sister’s living with me in my tiny apartment until she can find her own place, and tensions are running high. I’ve been playing games, watching youtube, anything to get my mind off it. But I’m crawling the walls. It’s a mess on top of a mess. All I can do is allow family members to stay here if they wanna visit my aunt, or visit her myself, which most days, neither of us have the energy for. It’s hard seeing her like this, and I have to put a brave face and tell her I believe she’ll pull through. But it’s been a long time since I believed in miracles.
So yeah. Everything is shitty right now and I don’t know how long I can keep going. But I have to, because our resources are straining, and don’t know how long we can keep paying for my education. I need to get this damn degree already. I’m lucky I have people who support me, and I shouldn’t be complaining. But it’s still tough.
Anyway, hope you guys are doing better than me. And that things get better so I can get back to doing creative things. I miss it. I’m still watching from afar.
msr | s4 | words: 700
He is not put off by blood.
Sure, he’s squirmish when it comes to certain things, like bile, like sterile soot. But not blood. Never blood. Heck, he’s even tasted the imitation of it once and given his critique afterwards.
Bumping this cancerfic!
Okay, so I just finished watching AOT (Yes, I watch the anime, I don’t read the manga, sue me. I just like it more)
The last episode that I saw was the 11 episode of season 3 part 1 and that was about a year ago. This week, I found out there was a new season coming, so I decided to finish it.
I must say, It was kind of disappointing.
Now, I will be saying spoilers and a lot of my personal opinions on the story so keep that in mind if you decide to keep reading.
So, once again, SPOILERS AHEAD
At first, I was intrigued by how dark things were getting. And up until the basement episode, I liked it.
But then, it suddenly started going off about how there is a whole other civilization out there, that they are the ones sending the titans their way and such.
(Now, I’m not saying any of this is a fact, just my thoughts on the matter)
It seemed to me like they were going along without actually plotting what was the actual logic behind the titans. Like they were going with the idea that the titans somehow got there, seemed to like feeding on humans so that the humans had to defend themselves inside the walls.
I honestly was looking forward to the reasoning to it all. How were the titans created? Why are Bert, Reiner, Ymir, and so on so set on getting Eren’s powers. Who is the Beast Titan?
I expected somebody to be controlling them, obviously. I actually thought the beast titan was going to be the one behind it all, and that we would get the final closure once they go down the basement, where they would possibly find a way to defeat titans for good.
As it turned out, though, I was wrong.
Suddenly, it seemed as if the real world’s history got mixed into the script of the series and the world war and the jews were thrown in, along with rituals and magic.
That kind of ruined it for me.
Up until then, I kept crying and being emotional. But after that, I just kept staring at it, not believing my eyes.
I get that they probably had that kind of story planned from the beginning, the whole new race thing and all. But it was as if the show suddenly turned from being a badass anime where the characters fought to rid the world of the creatures terrorizing the surviving people, to a damn historical anime with a bit of magic thrown in.
And don’t even get me started on season 4. I’ve only seen the trailer but damn.
I was so excited for the new season before I watched the rest of season 3 and the trailer. Sadly, I’m not looking forward to it at all now.
I already know I’m going to get a lot of hate for this, either people screaming at me how wrong I am and how it was actually brilliant, or to read the manga before having any right of speaking my opinions.
But that is just it, my opinions.
A rant, if you would.
And by this, I’m not saying I hate the show or whatever. Don’t get me wrong. I just don’t like what it turned out to be.
But I also wanted to see, does anybody else feel the same or at least similarly?
