that you can be without someone for six months, a year, five years and have mastered not thinking about them, but no matter how much time passes there will always be that moment where you see a photo of them or catch a little of their cologne on a crowed street and suddenly you’re plagued with a rapidly sinking stomach and the relentless question, “what did i do wrong?”
This artist is amazing. All the pieces are accurate renditions to each of the boys’ personalities and experiences during their time as Robin, and how much they grew.
It’s mind-numbing and goes straight to your heart.
Had a weirdly productive unproductive day today. Like yes I read a new book (geez was it sad, not sure what I expected from a book called “They both die at the end” but either way, very good) and I went for a walk, and restocked my kitchen, and repotted my plants. But on the other hand I did less than half of my Latin translation oops. At least I have a three day weekend :)) hopefully filled with the sunshine
Star, in her slight drug-induced haze, watches her gorgeous, shirtless husband cook her dinner. They got home from the hospital late last night once her fever had passed, and spent most of today in bed.
In bed with his muscles…
Star shamelessly stares at him and wonders how she got so lucky. He had scooped her out of bed, kissed her on the forehead, and told her he’d make her pasta for dinner, carried her in his strong arms and set her down on the couch. Even though he hates needles, he helped her get her IV connected to her port to run her at-home infusion, draped a flannel blanket over her legs and kissed her again.
Sorry I’ve been gone, but things aren’t going great. Had so many finals I was about to lose my mind. I won’t bore you with the details, but I decided to leave my 2 heaviest exams for July and extend university for half a year. I’m still gonna have a ton of work to do, but I won’t be doing the practice rounds this semester. All of this, if I can pass this exam, which I can only pass if they let me enter campus, and they might not, because I forgot to sign a thing that says I’m vaccinated and no symptoms, etc., which I was supposed to sign 72 hours prior to entrance, and my exam’s on Tuesday. See, I’m a mess. Last time I had a similar thing happen, and now, this. Tomorrow I’m gonna call the uni and ask what to do, and I’ll tell them “I’m a paying costumer, let me in or else”, and hope that works. They wanna treat us like they’re corporate assholes trying to make money all the time, we’ll treat them like it too.
tw: cancer
There’s something else that’s draining me, and that is family. I have an aunt that for a year has been struggling with cancer, and now it’s gotten to the point where she might not make it. We’re still hoping for a miracle, but at this point, that’d be the only way. I’m trying to compartmentalize, so that I can still focus on studying. But that’s about the only thing I can do. I have no energy for anything else. Plus, my sister’s living with me in my tiny apartment until she can find her own place, and tensions are running high. I’ve been playing games, watching youtube, anything to get my mind off it. But I’m crawling the walls. It’s a mess on top of a mess. All I can do is allow family members to stay here if they wanna visit my aunt, or visit her myself, which most days, neither of us have the energy for. It’s hard seeing her like this, and I have to put a brave face and tell her I believe she’ll pull through. But it’s been a long time since I believed in miracles.
So yeah. Everything is shitty right now and I don’t know how long I can keep going. But I have to, because our resources are straining, and don’t know how long we can keep paying for my education. I need to get this damn degree already. I’m lucky I have people who support me, and I shouldn’t be complaining. But it’s still tough.
Anyway, hope you guys are doing better than me. And that things get better so I can get back to doing creative things. I miss it. I’m still watching from afar.
