#anonymous submission

Imagine your OTP where one is obsessed with watching Great British Bake Off and the other is gaining weight because they can’t say no to the sweets that keep getting made because their partner is constantly “inspired”.

This post was submitted anonymously.

AO3 Link

Words: 1171

Prompt: #15

Mulder and Scully are stuck on a case over Thanksgiving, but it’s not as bad as it sounds.

———

He had just pulled her shirt over her head when someone’s phone began to ring. “Fuck,” Mulder muttered as he broke the kiss. “Is that your phone or mine?“

Scully got up to rifled through their coats, that were tossed to the side so long ago. "It’s mine,” she said as she pulled the device from the pocket.

“Who on earth is calling you this late on Thanksgiving?” Mulder asked with his eyebrows raised as Scully sat back down on the bed, topless but still wearing her bra and pants.

“Hello?” Scully answered the phone. “Hi mom.”

Mulder sighed. He loved Maggie, but she had the worst timing. He had finally made a move on Scully, the woman he’s been dreaming about for years, and her mother ruins the mood. He looked at Scully, and he can’t tell what’s going through her head. Would they pick up right where they left off? Or would this phone call end and everything would go back the way it was before tonight?

They were stuck on a case in the middle of nowhere, North Dakota, investigating a string of child murders. The press was already having a field day with the case, and there was a lot of pressure to get it sewn up as soon as possible. It was only supposed to be Mulder on this case, because it wasn’t like he had anything to do on Thanksgiving, but Scully ended up coming along. He didn’t want to make her feel like she had to come, and he told her that. She insisted, but there were moments he could definitely see that she missed her family.

They had a mediocre turkey dinner at a restaurant near where they were staying, completely alone. It seemed like everyone withing a hundred miles had somewhere to be, except them. They had been reviewing case files in Mulder’s room when he made his move.

She had reciprocated his advances, and that’s where they were now, about to have sex for the very first time, and her phone rings. Mulder looked at Scully, who was still talking to her mother. He only heard her side on the conversation, but he had a pretty good idea what was happening from what Scully was saying.

“Yes Mom, I’ll be around for Christmas.”

“I told you, it was a work emergency.”

“Mulder’s fine Mom.”

“I’ll tell him you said hello.”

“Well we can’t all be Bill, can we?”

That’s when Mulder started to grow impatient. He started to slowly inch towards Scully on the bed, and he sat up right next to her. She jumped slightly when he started to kiss her neck and collarbone, and Mulder stopped to look up at her. She nodded ever-so-slightly, and he attached his lips to her skin again.  

Then his hands began to wander. He squeezed one of her breasts through her bra, and he could hear Scully’s breath catch in her throat. He stopped again, and heard her mother say something at the other end of the phone line. “No Mom, I’m fine,” Scully said. “It was a hiccup.”

Barely a minute later, Mulder had successfully taken her bra off, and was lightly kissing her breasts. They were soft, and he couldn’t believe this was happening.

He could tell that Scully was getting turned on by this too, because he had barely slipped his hand down to her pussy when he heard her say “Mom, I’ve got to go. Something came up with the case.”

She was starting to pant slightly as he moved his fingers between her folds.  He waited patiently for her to hang up the phone, but it looked like her mother wasn’t giving up that easily. “Mom,” Scully said, jerking slightly as Mulder dipped his finger in her entrance. “I really have to go.”

He kissed every inch of her, her breasts, her stomach, her shoulders, all with a hand in her pussy. It was the softest thing he’d ever felt, and he started to move the digit in and out.

In.

“Yes mom, I love you too.”

Out.

“Alright, tell Bill and Tara I said hello.”

In.

“I’ll make sure to tell him.”

Out.

“Yes, I’ll see you at Christmas.”

In.

“I promise.”

Out.

“Bye mom.”

The minute she hung up the phone, Scully practically threw it across the room. She stared at Mulder, eyes blown wide with lust. So when she leaned down, lips ghosting over his ear, and whispered “fuck me Mulder,” it was like he had died and gone to heaven.

He took his hand out of her pussy and pulled her down to meet his lips. Kissing her was exuberant, and he never wanted to stop doing it. She started to loosen his tie, and it went flying across the room. His dress shirt joined it.

When they were both fully naked, his eyes traveled appreciatively over her body. He wanted to worship every inch of her. But right now, he had his instructions.

Her pussy was glistening as he lined his length up and slowly pushed in. Scully let out an obscene noise but quickly stopped, as if she realized that they were in a motel and anyone could walk by. “You okay Scully?” Mulder asked. “We can stop-”

“I swear if you stop right now I’m getting my gun out of my jacket,” she said, and Mulder slowly started to move. “It’s just that anyone could walk by and hear us, even if the shades are drawn.”

“Who’s going to be here on Thanksgiving?” he asked, and she could only moan in response.

Fucking her felt good, like every single one of his wet dreams had come true.  He slowly picked up speed, but soon he felt the beginnings of his orgasm. “Scully, I’m not going to last that long,” he said, starting to breathe a little heavier.

“Me either,” she said. “You feel so good.”

Surprisingly, Scully came first. She felt him hit that spot inside her and she couldn’t stop herself. The sounds she made were almost pornographic, and his name crossed her lips like a prayer.

That was it for Mulder. He felt his orgasm start to crash over him, and he pulled his dick out before he started to cum, so it ended up all over Scully’s stomach and breasts.

After they had cleaned themselves up, they settled into bed together. The FBI might have been paying for two hotel rooms, but they would be wasting their money for the considerable future.

“I love you,” he said, practically out of nowhere.

“I love you too,” was her response.

“Your mom has the worst timing,” Mulder said to Scully as they settled into each other’s arms. “I wanted to strangle her.”

“You’re not the only one that felt like that,” Scully said. “But don’t worry, maybe I’ll return the favor to you one day, when you’re on the phone with Skinner or something.”

Mulder felt his cock twitch at the idea of that. If this was his future, he definitely wasn’t complaining.

[IMPORTANT! insert writing tip here]

Nick’s hips are powerful enough to make everyone in the world fall over with happiness in just one swivel.

I am taking metrology class this semester. Its great and I love it. But one issue Weather weeb. Weather weeb is this weeb who is just a pain in the ass. She talks about hetalia (cause as I found out hetalia weebs are still a thing) and some other anime. Also she’s a big britaboo. Once in class she tried to show me anime. The professor told her to put her phone away. But she never listens. Since I sit next to her I can see she looks up USUK fanfics on her phone. She found out I was going to UK with my sister over break. Weather weeb said and I am not kidding here, “I wanna go.” Ok first I barely know you and secondly this is a trip I am taking with my sister. I told her no. Then she asked for me to get her something. When I returned she kept bugging me for her present. Told her I forgot. No interest in what I did aside for the doctor who museum in Cardiff. She wanted something there. But back to the weeaboo stuff she did. 

So we were given a project where we were to present about something that had to do with weather. I chose the great smog of London. She found out and insisted we work together. Now we did not need a partner and even if we did I would not work with her. She some how convinced our professor to allow her to do the same thing. So skip to the project presentation. People liked mine. Weather web’s project was Hetalia England pictures and minimal info. People were asking her questions and she was like, “I don’t know!” Yeah. When we got grades back she complained how unfair it is that her grade was bad and mine was good. Yeah cause clearly the project that was bad should get a higher grade.

Another note a friend of mine said no one in anime club likes her cause she won’t shut up about hetalia.

I went on a  date with a hidden weeb. So I asked out a woman from my gym. She’s caucasian and cute and fit and a professional. Professional is really all I’m looking for, the rest is just a bonus and race doesn’t matter to me. So usually you date a white/black/latina or whitewashed api and get the “what are you?” question, right? Well, the hidden weeb got around to it very artfully. It was kind of worked into the “what do your parents do?” part of the date interrogation with a “where are your parents from” snuck in there with some cute tone. It was ok and much appreciated compared to asking my nationality. If you were wondering my passport says U.S.A. under nationality. Anyway, I explained that my father’s from the Netherlands but emigrated from Indonesia as he’s Javanese. Hidden Weeb was visibly disappointed. “Javanese? Wait don’t you mean Japanese?” Nope. Javanese. Java. Its like a different island further south from where you were hoping. “Oh I thought becuase your name contained Nomo you were Japanese” - as if I intentially misled her masquerading as a Japanese person with a fake last name. She was not happy. I tried to keep the rest of the date fun for both of us but she just wasn’t up to it. Thinking she had finally snagged her ultimate prize - a for real Japanese (/American?) guy! - but alas she wasn’t a big enough person to hide her disappointment and resentment towards me. She got out of there as quickly as possible. She’s annoying at the gym now, like I’m a second class citizen or something but whatever, I hold all the cards now possessing the secret of the hiddden weeb!

So this story is ongoing because this semester of college hasn’t ended yet, but I figured I’d just submit the greatest Weeb moments from the girl I sit next to in my Statistics class. For obvious reasons, she’ll be N and I’ll be D. 

Statistics is a class I’m pretty good at despite the fact I’m a creative writing and business administration major. It’s easy to pick up and easy to learn. Unfortunately our teacher apparently doesn’t feel the same way because she teaches with the same amount of effort a high school senior puts into their homework. Today, for example, she wrote three random equations on the board, threw a worksheet at us, and walked out of the room. Definitely not wasting that doctorate, eh Doc?

I said fuck it a few weeks back and just doodle now. To give you an image of me, I’m the president of club soccer and a frat guy. You’d probably think I was a douche by just looking at me: khakis, hat, and always wearing letters somewhere. I’m actually a huge closet nerd and my love for Dragon Ball and Gundam is aggressive at best. Most of the time, I’m doodling characters in Toriyamas style or drawing Gohan (my favorite character). 

I guess I never learn my lesson because this girl who sits next to me always leans over in my personal space and watches me draw. N is slightly heavy with multiple facial piercings like a bullring, lip rings, etc. She has multiple anime and gaming tattoos, my favorite being one of Princess Peach kissing Toad on her bicep. N will lean over me and breathe her smoky breath in my ear (even worse because I’m asthmatic and this exacerbates it) and tell me what I’m drawing isnt as good as it should be.

This bothers me because when I do something creative, I try to do it to the best of my ability. None of this may seem especially bad to you, but give me a couple sentences here. A few days ago, N rips the page out of my notebook and holds it up to the whole class and shouts, “D is drawing in class and he’s really bad at it!” People at my college are really judgmental, so I was mortified and snatched my paper back.

“What the fuck, N,” I hissed at her. “Your drawing was bad, baka! Everyone had to know.” I wanted very badly to tell this girl off, but I was horrified about the information I would learn about her later. N is apparently 35 and has a kid. I couldn’t even imagine what she’d been like in high school. Now, every time I enter the building my class is in, shes out there smoking and telling me my art sucks. I just have to grit my teeth and ignore it now.

 This is a very long story, apologies. TL;DR at bottom. Trigger: Sexual Assault, Violence.

I have a friend, lets call him DJ, who has a son who is about 7. This son, lets call him Kyle, loves going to the mall and looking at all of the anime action figures in a particular store. One day I was babysitting Kyle, and he asked if we could go to the mall. I said yes, we piled in my car and headed their. We walked around the mall for a little bit and had a super good time. Then Kyle asked to go to the anime store, I tell him that his dad is coming to the mall to pick him up so this will be our last stop. Kyle agrees, and I text DJ to meet us at said anime store. Kyle and I walk in and the kid goes crazy as usual. As I follow him around I see a few guys huddled around the manga section. They looked to be about 20, maybe a little older, and were quietly mumbling to each other. As I follow Kyle, I notice one of the boys is staring at me, and I start getting creeped out. This kid then starts slowly inching closer to me and Kyle. To give a little more background on me, I am a 5 ft, female who is a little on the chubby side, and looks significantly younger than my ID suggests. I am almost 25 and I often get mistaken for a 16 year old. I am also much stronger than your average woman due to years of heavy weight lifting. This does not physically show because “if you have fat, you must be weak”`. 

So this dude starts trying to hit on me in probably the most offensive way possible. He starts going on about how “He likes kids” and “single women with children are sexy as long as the baby daddy is not there”, or my favorite “Its ok to make mistakes and be a slut sometimes”. Then he starts saying that if I lost weight, I would look like some Anime character and he was totally into that character. He was also willing to “Over look my flaws if I got them fixed eventually”. I am not joking, it was so awkward, and he kept glancing at Kyle, who was completely oblivious to what was going on. I tell this guy that I am uncomfortable and he needs to go away (I was very polite) but after he blatantly ignored my request, I go into super Auntie mode and tell Kyle we have to go. I grab Kyle and start to head out of the store. I pull out my phone to call DJ and tell him to meet by the security office in the mall, hoping to scare this guy off. Before I can do that, this guy then runs up to me and asks for my number. I tell him no, and he grabs my phone, claiming “I should at least have his number”. We are at the entrance of the store when I see DJ about 30 feet away, coming up the escalator. The only think I could think about was this guy trying to hurt Kyle (He never really acknowledge him but super Auntie mode is a step down from Mommy mode). I tell Kyle to run to his father, and at this point Kyle understands what is going on and runs. This guy starts trying to fiddle with my phone, asking me to unlock it for him. I turn to him, and make an attempt to get my phone back. This guy is much taller than I and laughs as he just holds it over my head. He then starts calling me cute and telling me we will be a great couple. So I grab his arm, the one with my phone in his hand and easily force it down to my level, and no matter how much he struggled, he couldn’t lift his arm again. This guy was weak , and at this point he realized how strong I was. I grab my phone from his hand, and give him the iciest glare I can muster.  I tell him to leave me alone and begin to walk away. I go to DJ (who is a large, very muscular, very fit man), and walk away with him and Kyle. This is not the end of my story! I walk to the parking lot and DJ says he has to go but is afraid to leave me alone. I assure him I am ok, and he walks off, telling me to call him if anything happens. As I walk to my car, guess who shows up ranting about how I “embarrassed him in front of his friends”? Creepy dude then decided I had “No idea what was good for me” and I needed to be “shown”. He grabs me , (it looked like he was going to kiss me but I can’t be entirely sure) and before I can even think I have this guy on the ground with a swift punch to the gut. I scream bloody murder, and a few nearby security guards rush over. I tell them what happened and this kid gets handcuffed. He starts going off about how I am a lying whore and all that junk. They got the statement of the shop owner, who saw him earlier and they told me they would call me if anything happened. This was about a week or so ago and I haven’t heard anything yet but they are filing this as a sexual assault case. DJ felt super bad for leaving me alone (to which I assured him I handled it) and Kyle lent me his minecraft foam sword in case it happens again.

TL;DR: Creepy dude in anime store bothers me with my friends kid. Starts saying gross things to me as if I am property instead of a person. I tell him no, he declines, my fist and security guards tell him no, he complies. 

My 18 year old  sister © is a weeaboo. Its so annoying and i just hate. When we moved into our new house she got mad i picked the one bed room that was bigger because she needed space to put all her anime stuff in there. I needed it because i got a desk. She loves Attack on Titan and some other anime i don’t know. She got mad at the kitchen table once when my little brother was talking about how crew (rowing) practice was. She wants to talk about anime 24/7. 3 months ago i had gotten my driver’s license and picked out a nice used Subaru. C found out and got upset as my parents bought her for her birthday a new Ford focus last year. She said it was unfair that and i quote, “A baka like her does not deserve a nihon car like that.”

Saturday morning my little brother told me, “Hey your car is gone.” I went outside and yup it was gone. I knew who took it so i told my parents and then called my sister. I tore her a new one and was just so pissed. She said she was not giving it back as she was an otaku and deserved to drive it.  Then hung up. My dad went driving around looking for her. But i had enough as i had caught her taking my keys many times before (still don’t know how the hell she got them when i had them hidden). I called the cops reporting my car as stolen. They did find her at the local anime store. She’s lucky she’s only getting a misdemeanor and could only face probation. The shitty thing is that she still feels like she has a right to my car. I’ve now keep my car keys on me at all times! 

Me: M

Friend: H

Yaoi obsessed weeb: R

So a few years ago I was in this club at my university, I don’t want to specifically state what that club is, but we don’t really do much club activities so everyone just eventually ends up in several groups and chatting with each other.

Back then I was really close to this group of consisting of five guys in total, including myself, which we share the same interest in certain genres of mangas and video games, so we got along. There is one that I’m particularly close with, which was a guy I’ll refer as H. He used to live in Japan until he went overseas to study here, and at that time I was quite fluent in Japanese so we often mess around speaking in Japanese to confuse the others in the group for fun.

It was quite a good time until this girl, which I’ll refer as R showed up. I honestly didn’t know her too well, but let’s just say she was quite the obvious weeb aura around her, with her constantly blasting mainstream anime openings in the room, sometimes even openings to shounen ai and yaoi, and yes, without headphones like she wants the whole world to know what she was listening to.

I never minded her too much until this one day I had a conversation with H in Japanese again, which I mostly had forgotten about but I recall it was something funny and we were both laughing a lot. That’s when I realized that R was staring at us, like really concentrated, although this sounds too dramatic but I almost can see the sparkles coming out of her eyes.

She walked towards us and attempted to initiate a conversation, which was in horribly broken Japanese. Both me and H found it ridiculous since we knew that she had the capability to speak English, and so do we and there’s no point in speaking in Japanese, but we decided to shut up and continued the conversation.

Honestly I’m not even sure if that was a conversation as it was pretty one-sided, mostly about her spouting some nonsense anime pairings and doujins. Soon H excused himself to head home, leaving me and R alone.

Suddenly R was looking at me with this smile that was really creepy and asking, “Sooo you have a crush on H-kun don’t ‘cha? You’re soooo kawaiii-”. I was puzzled of course since I have no idea where that statement came from. I forgot to mention that I was bisexual, which I take a liking to guys more, but it was closeted and by far the only ones I had ever mentioned it too was H, and although he said he couldn’t understand it he still respects it.

I was really confused by I was more worried about her volume since there was still a crowd in the room at the time so I just told her to keep it down. Then she began grinning like crazy and saying, “Don’t worry M-kuun~ Your secret is safe with me hehe~ Ukes like you are too kawaiii when it comes to admitting these~ Hehe I understand~”

I thought that was enough to shut her up but damn, was I wrong. The next day a few girls came to join our group in the middle of a conversation about a recently popular movie, but then R appeared. I had a feeling that she wasn’t going to join that discussion, and as I guessed, she said in a dramatic anime voice, “EHH M-KUUUN~ I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE YAOI! WHY DID YOU TALK TO GIRLS WHEN YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FIND A SEME- EVEN THOUGH YOU SAID YOU SUKI H-KUUNNN-”.

That day, all five of us were present, and not more than that, her volume was so loud that the everyone IN THE ROOM could hear us. I was awkward of course, since I just basically came out to everyone in the worst way possible. Thankfully, H ended up standing up for me to stop her from more pestering and loud comments. She looked extremely dissatisfied, but she let us be anyway.

The aftermath of this was of course, getting a lot of judgement from others, especially all the weird glances. But thankfully the rest of the gang seemed quite opened about this matter, which I think is mostly because they felt more sorry for me instead, but except for some not-too-hurtful jokes about hoping I’m not aiming for their asses I guess it was pretty fine. The next semester I changed clubs along with the five and never heard from R again. But honestly, she probably have just found another yaoi pairing to obsess over.

You know those friends at school that you’re only friends with in one specific class? This is how I knew the koreaboo star of our story, who we will call Oppai.

It was my junior H/PE class, and I knew none of my classmates. And somehow, as a student of a gigantic high school with a large SES divide, it seemed like every single “my dad is a lawyer, I got a Mercedes for my birthday, I own ten pairs of Vineyard Vines khakis” snobby classmate of mine was in this gym class with me. And I wanted nothing to do with them. So who was I left with? You guessed it- Oppai.

Oppai seemed absolutely normal at first. She was in a lot of honors classes and choir, nothing weebish about her at all. Until one day I accidentally done hecked up.

The summer before junior year was when anime was poppin’ here on tumblr, and that’s how my friend texted me one day requesting I watch Attack on Titan, to which I obliged. I loved it. And I also struck a fancy with Free! and Madoka Magica. Now please don’t take this the wrong way, I am not a weeb at all. The only merch I have is an AoT hoodie that’s so thick I only wear it on cold winter days, I only discuss anime if someone else brings it up, and my only “flaw” for lack of a better term is the times when past sixteen year old me indulged in my guilty pleasure of risque Ereri and Reigisa fics late at night.

But I done slipped to Oppai one day in gym class. 

I believe it was our tennis unit and she and I were paired together half-assedly hitting a ball over a net for twenty minutes and I unconsciously hummed the AoT theme under my breath. But isn’t this a Koreaboo story? Bear with me.

“Hey, is that the theme to that super popular anime?” Oppai asked. 

“Oh, Attack on Titan?” I suggested. 

“Yeah, that’s it!” She said. “I have a  cousin in Japan.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” I mumbled.

“Japan is neat, but I like Korea better.” Oppai indulged. “Have you ever listened to K-pop?”

And this is where it goes downhill, my friends.

After this slight slip of the tongue, Oppai kept pressuring me to listen to K-pop, watch Korean dramas, and basically just convert from having Japanese-related hobbies to Korean.

And once my class started our health unit, things went downhill even worse.

Because American health classes are notorious for being shitty, Oppai had a lot of spare time to try and convert me to Koreabooism. She would drag on and on about K-pop boy bands and show me pictures of her favorites and would gush about how hot Korean guys are and how she only wants to date Asian guys, specifically Koreans.

And this is our main event, ladies and gentlemen.

One day we had a substitute in health class, so our lecture was cancelled and we were given a free period. Oppai turned around swiftly in her seat and went: “Do you know what yaoi is?”

As aforementioned, I did indulge in a little bit of smutty anime fanfic back in the day, so I was familiar with terms like BL and yaoi. I awkwardly stammered a “yeah.”

Oppai then flips out her phone- in the middle of a crowded health classroom, need I remind you- pulls up YouTube, and proceeds to show me softcore, irl porn of two Korean guys.

Utterly flabbergasted, I keep trying to shut off her phone, but Oppai is just on a tangent about how homosexuality is considered normal in Japan and Korea and eventually I manage to shut her up. Needless to say, I tried avoiding her the rest of the year.

Ok so this is a story that has haunted me for quite a while now and that I need to get off my chest. I guess I can put a trigger warning for bullying? I also won’t be using real names since this takes place in college. Also this might be a bit lengthy, apologies in advance!

Me - D

Weeb 1 - Digi

Weeb 2 - Pika

Weeb 3 - Chu

Weeb 4 - Mei

Ok so for my first year at college I got the opportunity to go to Japan for a couple weeks and study Japanese culture as well as learn about my major (won’t give it away for reasons). There were a lot of going and I was one of the few who was a 1st year student while the rest were pretty much in their 3rd or 4th year.

At this time I didn’t really make any friends at college who were going and so I was kind of on my own (which is fine, I’m a very independent person). 

So to fast forward a bit after a 14 hour flight and a ton of jet lag, the first couple of days were ok. Did some sight seeing and got to experience a lot of my heritage (yes I am part Japanese which made this all the more insulting later on). After a while I came to realize that some of the other students only seemed to have come to Japan just for anime. When on the bus, there were 3 girls (all dressed in anime) who were shouting about being Otakus. I kindly told them not to say that out loud as in Japan that does mean something entirely different (and definitely nothing positive either). One of the girls, Digi, told me that I was lying and it just means she is a die hard fan of anime. It came down to the point where Pika and Mei jumped in and made the subject about weaboos and how weebs are good people who just like anime a lot. I made the snarky remark on the kind of weebs that harass people and take it too far at cons… and what came out of their mouths shocked me.

“Their just being in character, if the character touches people thats totally fine. They might be fiction kin, are you saying you hate kin?!”

Keep in mind these people are in their twenties. They were literally defending sexual assault at cons. And they continued to call themselves Otaku out in public and even on the trains (you can’t speak on trains).

So fast forward a little later and I ended up with Digi most of the time as I had no one else and we had to have at least 2 to a group if we wondered. I kid you not, the whole trip Digi would correct me on every little thing I said (even accurate things) and would get antsy if we didn’t go to an anime store. 

I’m gonna fast forward to the real gritty stuff that made me lose my temper with both students and teachers. So by the middle of the trip I was getting bullied quite a lot, mostly by the weebs. We got lost at one point in Tokyo with a group of 5 and a teacher. Now the mall-building we were in was connected to the train station (we weren’t allowed to go far) and there were 2 sets of escalators inside. One let to the inner city and one to the train station. We accidentally took the wrong elevator but all we had to do was walk around the building to get to our exit, then a girl said sh knew where we were and got us lost for 2 hours. I kept trying to tell our group that we needed to go back and go through the other doors. Of course no one listened. And to make it worse Pika and Chu were screaming at me to shut up,telling me I didn’t know anything. This all happened again in Hiroshima too with a different group which made me pissed (i was the only one with a working gps while no one else had phone reception)

Later I went out to eat at a small “fast food” place and saw that they were there too. As I was eating the girl next to me was having trouble asking for more water to the waiter so I held up a water bottle that I had (which had the word in Japanese on it to help communicate) and pointed to the girl as politely as i could which the waiter understood. The Pika out of no where literally shouts in front of classmates and locals accusing me of being racist! I was literally petrified that she would literally yell (extremely disrespectful in japan). I tried to explain but she would hear non of it and continued to rant that I was racist to my own race. I was on the verge of tears and a anxiety attack so I paid and left, barely finishing my food.

Worst of all me and Digi went to the anime capital of Japan, Akihabara. It wasn’t all bad but until my leg gave out (i have a severely bad knee) and Japan doesn’t really have public benches in the city. Digi ran off and left me at an arcade by myself while she went back to an anime store and said she would be back in an hour. I waited… and waited… and finally I tried to call her only to come to find that her phone was dead. So I was left alone in severe pain with no where to sit for an hour and a half, on the edge of vomiting from pain. Thankfully a passing teacher and his group found me and got me back to our hotel. When I saw Digi she has a shit ton of anime stuff and was with another group, you bet I was pissed.

All in all the trip was an up and down experience. I had one good teacher who really looked out for me and even bought me lunch when I was crying at one point (that one is for another time), she was amazing! And so I learned my lesson that if I want to visit another country to explore my heritage and avoid week drama, I’ll just go on my own.

As always, real names have been omitted:

S = my Friend

Orange Creep = A creep in an orange shirt

A few days ago, my friend S and I caught up for a coffee date. Afterwards, we decided to do some browsing/Christmas shopping at the mall. We went to JB HI-FI (retailer for DVDs/Bluray/CDs/Games/electronics etc), and aimlessly wandered down the aisles, keeping an eye out for presents for our boyfriends (or ourselves, because you got to treat yourself yo).

I decided I wanted to look at the anime section, and see how much Sailor Moon Crystal was on Bluray. Between us, S and I both love Sailor Moon, Digimon and Studio Ghibli films – so, we appreciate anime but aren’t hardcore fans.

Out of nowhere, some relatively normal looking guy (in a bright orange shirt) comes up between us and says “There’s a lot more emotion in anime than regular cartoons.”

S and I awkwardly agreed – I don’t know how she was feeling, but I straight up had Weeaboo alarm bells ringing. We were polite to Orange Creep, but I then tried to make a point of showing S the price differences in Sailor Moon, so he would get the hint that we weren’t interested in having a conversation.

As soon as there is a pause in our conversation, Orange Creep says “And it’s not just for kids – some animes are really violent.”

My boyfriend and I recently watched Elfen Lied and Attack on Titan, and I think S has seen some other ones that aren’t just childhood nostalgia. Point is, we’re both well aware the sort of mature content is in anime, but we really weren’t looking to engage with Orange Creep. The whole situation just had one of those socially awkward vibes.

But it get’s better. Orange Creep, probably under the assumption he was impressing us with his knowledge, points out one of the DVDs on the shelf: “Take Beserk for example. The main character is born from the corpse of his dead mother who is hanging from a tree… and that doesn’t just happen!”

At that point, I had to hide my face behind the Sailor Moon case, trying not to laugh out loud. Meanwhile, poor S, who is a precious cinnamon roll, was stuck talking to him. She awkwardly replies “Oh… that’s something.”

Orange Creep follows up with, “And in [whatever TF he said], the main character rapes his best friend’s girlfriend in a pool of his own blood!”

I couldn’t contain my laughter at that point, and said I was going to look at fridges. S quickly followed me, and we stayed there until we were sure Orange Creep had left the store.

Me: Mono

Friend #1: Coco

Friend #2: Slasher

Weeb: Valencia

(Keep in mind that this all happened back in 2014, so my memory of this whole thing is kinda hazy. Also, I want to remain anonymous for safety reasons.)

It all started in middle school. Me, Coco and Slasher were all 12. I was just plain white and kind of a weeb, Coco was born in Japan; was Japanese; but was raised in Canada since he was 4, and had impressive English skills for his age, but still had a thick accent, and Slasher was Native and had just moved from the mainland last year. One day, during lunch, Slasher introduced us to Valencia, a friend of his cousin who went to our school. She was also Native, with black hair with a single red streak in it, and that day, she wore a Panic! at the Disco t-shirt, a Scouting Legion jacket, and a tutu. The both of us were obsessed with Attack on Titan at the time, so we instantly welcomed her with open arms.

We talked, ate our lunch, and all-around had a good time.
Weeks had passed, and I got a call from Valencia asking if she could come to my house. I asked my parents about this, and they approved. Within the hour, she arrived. We exchanged each-others Deviantart accounts, Tumblrs, and whatever else. I decided to show her my Attack on Titan drawings. I was already beyond corrupted thanks to my parents not giving me much supervision and my secretiveness, so by natural instinct I decided against showing her some of my more risque drawings. She asked me (word by word, here) “Mono, what are your SNK OTPs?”

I responded with “JeanMarco, Eremin, Eruri, Yumikuri, Arushi; thats my OC x Armin;, and most of all–” And then she interrupted, saying

“You have an OC? Can I show you mine?”

“Sure!”

She took her phone and then showed her to me. Let’s just say she was BAD. Light blue emo hair, purple eyes, flashy clothes, and it was on a base, too, and worst of all, she was fourteen-fifteen and shipped with Levi.

Being the smart lil’ cookie I was, I pointed out all the things wrong with her character. Surprisingly, she took the advice, and tomorrow at school, she showed me her redesigned OC. This time, she looked much better. Shorter hair which was now brown, green eyes, her pink v-neck replaced with a black blouse, and her name was changed to Ayami Storm to Ariana Nichol, and she was now listed as single. But the only drastic downside was that it was made with that Rinmaru Games AOT OC maker everyone used. I complimented her, and I remembered later on in the day that I forgot to remind her that she interrupted me when I listed off my OTPs. She nodded and allowed me to continue, and I said what I said yesterday…

But that’s when things started going downhill FAST.

I was obsessed with, no LIVED AND BREATHED Eremika. I told her I liked it, and she scoffed, saying “Ew. Eremika is incest. Grody.”. I tried to retaliate by reassuring her it wasn’t, but Slasher stopped me before I could say anything. Fortunately, she just shook it off, but I could tell she probably hated that ship (which was okay i wasnt like other girls), but then she asked the question whose answer would ruin our friendship forever.

“What about Ereri? I LOOOOOVE Ereri!”

“I don’t like it. I think it’s pedophilia.”

She went absolutely BALLISTIC. “IT IS SO NOT PEDOPHILIA DESU! ITS TRUE LOVE AND ITS TOTALLY CANON!!!”

Coco ran away before things got serious, but Slasher defended me by saying “No. She’s right. Sure, Levi did beat Eren up, but that was to save his life, not because he loved him. And plus, Eren is still considered a minor, even here, and Levi is in his thirties.” or something along the lines of that.

Valencia continued shouting at us, saying things like “WELL, THINGS WERE DIFFERENT BACK THEN” and “ERERI IS THE BEST SHIP IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE! KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF!” and stuff like “LEVI IS THE BEST CHARACTER EVER AND HES SOOOOO HOT!”

Slasher continued to shoot down her arguments until Valencia reached her boiling point. She grabbed me by my My Chemical Romance t-shirt and pushed me, resulting in me falling to the ground, and then she took out a rock which she had in her backpack for some reason and hit Slasher repeatedly in the face with it. The principal was notified of the ordeal and he called the police, who arrived just a minute or so later and grabbed Valencia, but she, no shit, screamed “MINI-TITANS!” before she tried to kick one of the cops in the shin, but was stopped. She wasn’t charged or arrested (she was real close to it, though), but she was suspended from school. I was okay, albeit with a scraped knee, but Slasher had to get stitches at the hospital, and atop of that, had a broken nose.

I never spoke to her again, and from that day forward, I vowed to stay away from all Ereri shippers as much as possible.

Slasher recently told me that he could have sworn he saw her again at a Tim Horton’s before a gaming convention he went to.

My boyfriend: Max

Me: P
My friend: X
Weeaboo from Hell: Toad

This weeb story happened at an anime con that myself, X, and Max were attending. Max isn’t really a big anime enthusiast and leans more towards comics and video games so he dressed up as Max from Mad Max: Fury Road. Max looks eerily similar to Tom Hardy so his coworkers including myself encouraged him to dress up as the protagonist of Fury Road. I tried to complete my Furiosa cosplay in time but due to my busy school and work schedule, I had to settle for an unfinished product. X decided to cosplay from League of Legends since she wasn’t a fan of the movie and the three of us headed for the con. We had no idea just how nightmarish the day would be.

As we got to the con, we were immediately greeted by some avid photographers who began asking Max for some pics to which he obliged but after a few minutes kindly turned them down as he really needed to use the restroom. I told him we would wait for him outside and while he used the restroom we would go pick up the badges. After waiting for our badges a little bit longer due to some minor error the staff had on their computers, we headed for the main lobby bathrooms. Max was waiting for us there and we went to go greet him and give him his stuff. Out of nowhere, we were severely startled by this extremely loud screeching voice that seemed to come from all directions. Right afterwards we heard, “MAAAAD MAAAAAAAAX SAAAAMAAAAAA MY HEROOOOOOO DESUUUU NEEEEEEE!!!!” This very toad looking girl came running out of nowhere and immediately latched onto Max like a leech. Max is not a very warm and friendly person and will only hug people close to him that he trusts, so he was extremely put off by this. He immediately began pushing her away to which she only held on tighter. He eventually pried her off and she began shouting loudly her excitement for him. “Mad Max SAAAAMAAAAAA your so brave!!! That Immorten Joe Baka was such a rapist!! Only you should have all the kawaii girls!” Toad then turned to us and looked me up and down like if I was poop on the sidewalk. “Max-Deanna, who is SHE?” I burst out laughing at her ridiculousness and Max walked over to me and stood behind me while gripping my arms, “This is my girlfriend. She is cosplaying Furiosa with me.”

This seemed to really piss off Toad and she glared at me and stomped up into my face and growled, “She is not Furiosa!! She doesn’t look Tsundere and she doesn’t have a robot arm!!” X scoffed loudly and motioned for us to leave. I walked away from Toad and Max glared at her before walking away. Luckily she didn’t follow us. But that would not be the last of her. A few hours later after wandering the floor and getting more photos taken, we stepped out of the con to get some snacks and go sit somewhere. We found a shady spot and sat down to eat until we saw Toad walking by. She saw us and immediately ran over to Max and glomped him. Her very heavy set body knocked him back into the bushes and caused him to hit his shoulder against the trunk of a tree. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tried rubbing her face against his whole shouting, “Max daaaaannaa I missed you!!!! Aishiteru husband desuuuu!” I had enough of it and stood up, grabbing Toad by her hair and yanked her off of him to which she fell on her butt on the sidewalk. X and I helped Max up, who was extremely pissed off. Before me or X could say anything, Max stood up and stood over her, red as a beet from anger. “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU STUPID BITCH????” He shouted at her pretty loud and several con goers stopped to stare at what was happening. She started crying which did not make Max any nicer to her.

“I only want Max-danna to love me!!! I’m Furiosa!!! You are supposed to be my husbando you total Baka!!!” She got up and turned to glare at me and screamed into my face, “I HATE YOU, YOU TEME WHORE!!” She picked up some dirt and threw it at me before storming off. I wanted to go after her so badly but X held me back and told me that it wouldn’t be worth it. We tried to enjoy the rest of our day which seemingly worked until the evening. We heard there was going to be an anime dance club scene at the con so we decided to go for the heck of it. The 3 of us started dancing like goofballs and what not. Max then said he would go bring us some drinks. X and I kept dancing until we noticed that 10 minutes had gone by and Max had not returned. X suggested that he had also gone to the bathroom so I took out my phone to text him. He didn’t respond and I kept feeling a strange sensation that something was wrong. X and I ran out of the dance room and went down the corridor to where the bathrooms were. As we turned the corner, we saw Max and Toad. Toad has latched onto Max and was trying to kiss him forcefully. X and I immediately pulled her off of him. Toad had thrown something at him that caused him to have eye irritation because the first thing he did was try to rub at his eyes. I took him to the water fountain and began rinsing his eyes out quickly. X began shouting at Toad, screaming every insult at her and threatened to call con security and police. Max’s eyes were clean and I yelled at X to go get security. Toad stood there angrily and shouted at Max. “How dare you!!!! How could you do this to me??? She is too ugly and too unworthy of Mad Max sama!!! I can be less fatter than her if I want to!!!” Max put a arm over me and pushed me behind him. “LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE YOU PYSCHOPATH!! YOU NEED HELP!!” Toad started crying again and we noticed a CVS bag tucked in her jacket pocket that was wrapped around her waist. “I went to go get some supplies so I can get kawaii for Max sama!!” She then blatantly told us that she had bought some laxatives so that she could get skinny really fast. We heard a weird sound and then Toad started crying. She had completely soiled herself in front of us. “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO BAKA!!!! NOW YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME CLEAN PANTSU!!” She reached forward and suddenly grabbed at Max’s pants and tried to unzip his pants and pull them down along with his boxers.

I started screaming to try and get attention from anyone in the area for help and Max and I shoved her away. She glared at me and made this weird screaming noise and slapped me in the face hard. “YOU CAN’T BE WITH MAD MAX YOU WHORE!!!” She grabbed my arm tightly with her nails and tried to throw me into the wall of the corridor. Max then finally lost it, and punched her square in the face. She fell on her back and started sobbing as X came rushing back with con security. It turned out to be a very long night for us. Con security called police and Max was temporarily put into handcuffs. X and I explained the situation entirely to police and staff. X comforted me and I started crying in relief when we heard that several cosplayers and attendees had witnessed the day’s events. Several witnesses reported that they had seen Toad stalking us throughout the day and others saw the events that unfolded, including Toad when she had thrown something into Max’s eyes and attempted sexual assault on him including attacking me. No charges were pressed against Max and Toad was placed into handcuffs and taken away by police. The 3 of us returned to our hotel and have not returned to that con since. Max still cosplays but he threw out his Mad Max cosplay as we left the hotel the next day. It’s taken a lot of work to help him feel safe at cons again and I always make sure to stay with him no matter what. He’s a really strong and tall guy but he never thought that the incident with Toad could ever happen to him. I don’t know what happened with Toad after her being arrested but Max refuses to ever think about that con again.

So i’m in my sophmore year of high school and currently i am ‘friends’ with a weeaboo. Let’s call him M.

M is a massive bigot. He makes racist, sexist, homophobic and all around incredibly offensive jokes. He and I had been friends for a long time now, but since last year I’ve decided to cut ties with him and hang out with some other people.

M is also a weeaboo. Now when i say weeaboo it’s quite light, but there are quite a few  moments that really do shine through and example his horrible behavior.

The first instance of M’s weeb behavior was in 2014. He was fully getting into anime and during an art class our teacher told us to draw certain things and put them in our art books. While doing so i casually mentioned that i want to work for disney (I still do want to work in cartoons, and Disney is a long coming dream of mine) and M annoyingly tells me that i should work in anime. I explain to him that i’d rather prefer to work in western animation (Note: i too liked anime during that time but i started to become influenced by more western culture like cartoons, video games and mainly comic books.)

M then proceeded to call me a ‘bitch’ because i 'could take a fucking compliment’ and then proceeded to mutter insults at me.

Over the two years of his Weeaboo phase, M has done a lot of horrible things to me. Such as: Making Threats of Violence against me, telling me to go kill myself, Making really homophobic and sexist jokes against me, telling me that nobody likes me. He also picks on my interests and tells me that they’re bad. (I like western stuff like Red vs Blue, DC, Steven Universe and Disney).

Meanwhile, the jerk won’t ever put in headphones when watching anime and tries to get people into it, making them horribly uncomfortable with animes like yume nikki (a VERY violent anime) and lucky star (it’s okay but u have to actually be into anime to get into lucky star, it’s weird and confusing to people) and overall is a horrible person to everyone, mixed with his very violent anger issues. He’s also blunt and knows everything and acts like an asshole to everyone who doesn’t know thing, ESPECIALLY in anime.

I have another 2 years to spend with this bigoted weeaboo and i hope that between sophomore and senior year, he learns to grow the fuck up because i’m done with his childish behavior.

So a while back ago at a summer convention I went to I was dressed up in a cute pink lolita dress, white stockings, and adorable brown slippers (this is important hold on.) While I was walking around the con hall a huge fella in what looked like a knight costume or something, I can’t really remember if it was that or not since I was new to the whole anime and convention scene, but I knew it was white. He, let’s call him C, wanted to take my picture. After the picture he started hugging me (without my permission btw.) It was a tight hug and he lifted me off the ground too and spun me around. At this point I was getting really creeped out and wanted out of his death grip. Then C said something along the lines of “I really like your skin (I’m black) you’re really soft and squishy.” 

I was squeeked out and demanded he let me down. He did but asked me if I wanted to go back to his hotel room with him, I said no and started to back away from him. That’s when he grabbed my arm and started to yell at me; getting very angry. I kneed him in the groin and ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction of him. I was screaming and crying for help and I kept looking back to see if he was following me and he was and I just kept on running as hard as I could until I ran into a wall and fell down. 

A group of Fire emblem cosplayers noticed my distress and came over to me and help me. I told them what happen and they decided to protect for the time being. C spotted me in the crowd and started to come over, the very intimidating    Chrom cosplayer told C to back off or else he’ll get security. C backed off and sulked away and I didn’t see him for the rest of the con. My heart was pounding the whole time but I’m glad my new FE friends rescued from that guy.

Oh boy this i remember really well. I had moved from one town to another. Because of this i did not make friends. Being the new kid in 2nd grade i was isolated. Then came S. She became my best friend and introduced me to pokemon. I began to make other friends too. But i was close with S. From 2nd to 5th grade we loved pokemon, playing n64, joking around and even getting into some mischief. She’s the reason i gain more confidence. Middle school came and once Naruto aired we got hooked. We would read the manga and watch the anime. I will admit i was bit of a weeb myself. But around 9th grade she began to act weird. Like she became obessed with Naruto to the point of pretending to do Jutsu. S would try to get me into doing it but i would not. S would only talk about Naruto.  At the time i  had ended my weeb days. Her behavior just was embarrassing. She began to wear to school a homemade leaf village headband.  She even made a mary sue character that was Naruto’s sister who also had a tailed beast inside of her, was the wife of Sasuke. She’d be writting these stories down in an notebook and read them too me. Event submitted one smut one in writing class. Got in trouble.

I told her this friendship was not working anymore. I did not want to hurt her feeling and she seemed understanding. But the next day at school as i am talking placing stuff in my locker, WHAM. The door slammed on my finger breaking one finger. “YOU BAKA YOU BETRAYED ME! YOU ARE GOING TO SUFFER AT THE HANDS OF THE UCHIHA CLAN!”  A few other friends of mine came over and helped me. S got suspened and no charges were filled because her parents were going to send her to live with her grandparents. So my parents dropped the charges. My finger was in a splint.

Last i heard from someone who knows S’s family S still is a weeb, lives with her parents, flunked out of college for not going (would rather watch anime), does not have a job.

I’m not really sure this counts as a weeb story, but it seems like the kind of thing ya’ll might like. Also submitting anon, because I don’t really want her to find me again.

Key:

Me: Rowan

My sister: Mika

My present girlfriend: Ami

Weeb (is it a weeb?): Poubelle

Strap yourselves in, mayonnaises and mustards, ‘cause this is going to be a long-ass story. 

So, my mom is a good flutist. Like, really good. Like, so good she owned a solid gold flute once upon a time, and played in an extremely renowned orchestra in the Bay Area. But then she had children, and she decided she needed a better job. So she sold the gold flute and went off to go get a degree.

She has since acquired said degree, and has lately been taking up fluting again, with a sterling silver flute gifted to her from her old tutor. My little sister, Mika, wants to become a flutist as well, so Mom has been helping her along with her practice. Mika is extremely good now, and uses the silver flute, but still owns the nickel flute she started off with.

All of this is important for reasons I will explain later on.

The story started when Fallout 4 came out. Being a fan of Fallout 3 and New Vegas, I bought it and was extremely pleased with it in general. Unfortunately, other people were too.

Enter Poubelle. Poubelle did not shun society; as a matter of fact, she was part of a very wide group of friends who were into video games, superhero movies, Doctor Who, that circle of fandom. I was (and still am) very much of a lone wolf, so when I had to run with a group, they were the ones I turned to. Generally, all of them were good, friendly people that liked me and were not assholes. Except Poubelle.

Poubelle bathed every other day, generally kept her voice at an inside level, and didn’t go around forcing her ships on every third person. She was different than most weeaboos/horrible awful fangirls I’d known, so I think that was why I didn’t notice her at first.

Somewhere during one lunch, it comes out somewhere that I like Fallout 4. Surprise surprise, she does too. So by the peculiar dynamics of high school law, we are now friends.

Poubelle and I hit it off immediately. She seemed like a friendly enough person, especially to my lonely self. But thinking back on it now, I suppose there were a lot of warning signs. For one thing, this girl was extremely judgmental. She was eager to bash things that I liked, but if I tried the same with her, she called me rude and jealous.

She was also one of those people that made lots of “jokes.” She would say things that were sometimes morally questionable, and when called out on it, she would screech that it was just a joke and that I shouldn’t take it seriously. It got to the point where it was difficult to tell what was supposed to be funny and what wasn’t. And she always compared things to Fallout 4, even when the subject didn’t relate to Fallout at all, or even video games.

I met my current girlfriend, Ami, about a few months after I’d met Poubelle. By this point, Poubelle had become a deeply toxic person, but I was turning a blind eye to it because (I thought) she was a friend.

Where Poubelle was like a stinky, shallow brown lake with a sheen of oil on top, Ami was like a quiet, clean river. She was honestly the nicest person I’d ever met, and was clever and optimistic to boot. She was so different than Poubelle, that I started spending more and more time with her. I still hung out with Poubelle, but I suspect that she was jealous of Ami, who was getting more of my attention.

This is where the part about the flutes comes into play. I had told both Poubelle and Ami about my mother and sister, because they are one of those things I was proud about. Poubelle was over at my house one night, and I had both of the flutes on my bed and was cleaning them. I still remember the conversation we had.

P: Wait, that’s the silver one?

R: Yep. The other’s nickel.

P: Do they sound the same?

R: I can’t tell any difference, but I’m just an uncultured pleb, heh. I would think the silver one plays better, though. 

P: Cool. How much was it?

R: I dunno. Couple thousand, maybe? It was a gift, so I don’t really know.

Fast forward a week. Both flutes had disappeared a couple days earlier, which left the three of us females and my dad to frantically search for them. I was playing Minecraft on my laptop in the kitchen when the doorbell rang, but Mika was the one who opened the door. I don’t remember what happened exactly, but I’ll try to put the best approximation of what everyone said.

R: Mika, can you get that?

M: Of course I can, you lazy bum. 

<Door opens, followed by several seconds of silence>

M: What the fuck?

R: What?

I go to the door, and there’s Poubelle, standing there with a shitty trying-to-be-sorry look, while holding the flattened remains of one of our flutes.

P: I found this on the road, I’m so sorry.

M: Why the hell was it on the road!?

R: Maybe you dropped it or something, like on the way from practice.

P: Yes, this is the silver one, so that might have happened.

Poubelle’s comment catches me off guard, because I know the flute she’s holding is nickel from having cleaned it so many times. I tell her that it’s actually the nickel flute she’s holding, and she continues to insist it’s the silver one. Eventually, she starts getting frustrated and shoves the smashed flute in my face, then stomps off the porch.

I confront her at school the next day, where she angrily claims to know nothing. At this point, I have an incredibly bad feeling that Poubelle knows where the actual silver flute is.

Over the course of the week, Mika, Ami, and I start making plans. My mom, of course, is very interested in where her prized flute went, so when I tell her that Poubelle might have it, she immediately goes into full rage mode. She goes to the police, and seeing both that they have nothing better to do, and that there’s a two-thousand-dollar flute with immense sentimental value on the line, a search warrant is obtained fairly quickly.

Four days later, the search is conducted, and lo and fucking behold, the silver flute is found in Poubelle’s bedroom.

My sister and I had largely been left out of the legal proceedings, and since this ordeal took place just before school ended, I have no idea what Poubelle’s reaction was to getting caught. However, I did hear that she got charged with grand larceny (the flute was $2000) and is now spending time in a juvenile detention center, as she had committed several larcenous crimes before that. 

Hoo boy. And to think this all started with Fallout.

The last place I expected to be weeb-attacked was at my school’s scholarship students afternoon.

I go to a private school with a scholarship, and we usually hold this big scholars dinner at the start and end of each year. This was my second year so I was excited to meet year sevens. My friend was off in the bathroom, so I went to go introduce myself. I said hi to one girl who looked kind of nervous, but I didn’t see anything wrong with her - she had short curly brown hair and a Naruto shirt. I kind of like anime so that was cool. “Hi,” I said, and introduced myself. 

I would have said more but my friend came back so I said bye and we went off to go do this opening thing. An hour or something later us girls all got together to take I photo and I invited the girl before. During the photo I did a little ‘peace’ thing with my hands, like I usually do.

After the photo we all dispersed and somehow I was left with the girl. 

“You did little peace sign! That’s so kawaiiiiiii!!!” was all I could hear. wtf?! The girl, who had seemed so quiet and nice before was all desu-ing up in my face. Now, I didn’t want to be rude or anything, so I just brushed it off and laughed.

“Ahaha… Really? Thanks..?” I said, trying to slip away. Help me!! “Anata nihonjin desu?” she blurted out. See, I’m South Korean, and I guess I am kind of used to getting mistaken for Chinese or Japanese here in Australia, so I just smiled as politely as I could.

“Oh, ahaha, no sorry, I’m Korean actually,” I said. The look of disgust on that weeb’s face. “Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh?” she said, in a horrible impression of one of those 'kawaii’ anime characters. “Anata Korean? FAKE NIHONJINNNNN!” she yelled. “Japanese people are the best, Korea people are NOT real Asian!!!" 

I just stood there and cringed/resisted yelling at her, until my friend rescued me. We probably should have told one of the teachers supervising, but I was just glad I didn’t see her again after that.

This one’s a shorty, but here goes:

When I was little, I liked Star Wars. Normal stuff when your dad is a sci-fi geek, and I didn’t LOVE it, I just appreciated it. I’d only ever seen the original trilogy until one fateful day shortly after I turned eleven. My dad bought a box-set of the prequels from a thrift store. And for some ungodly reason, I fell in love.

Attack of the Clones was my favorite. I watched it at least four times a week, and cold quote pretty much the entire thing. The other two weren’t as ‘perfect’ (ugh) to me, but I still loved them. I started carrying a lightsaber with me everywhere. I made my own Jedi robes. I tried to learn alien languages. Probably my worst moment was when I told all of my friends that I had a mental link with a Jedi in an alternate universe. (I actually believed it too)

VERY fortunately, this didn’t last forever. I grew out of it when I was 13. To this day, I’m still a Star Wars fan, (enough to geek out and own a Rey cosplay) but I have never sunk down to that level of cringe.