EngIta Week 2022

Day 1: Fears

Warning: Major character death and blood. But it’s not forever I promise.

~~~~~

Warmth.

There’s so much warmth. It reminded him of a peaceful spring day, his favorite kind of days. A vast green meadow surrounded him, a gentle spring breeze blowing through his auburn hair. Behind him a familiar house sat in the distance. It was a house that he hadn’t seen in centuries.

‘I know this place…..’

Feliciano turned around in his spot searching for the familiar person that he was desperate to see. Gazing around he caught sight of another figure in the distance. A familiar shorter frame, bright, messy blonde hair and warm green eyes stared back at him. A small shy smile on a lightly freckled face. Feliciano felt his heart pick up as a smile came across his face.

“Arthur…!”

The Italian called out to the other nation, waving enthusiastically at him. Arthur stared at him, still wearing that same shy smile yet he did not wave back nor did he come any closer. Feli not liking this began to head towards him, to feel him in his arms again. Only…..every time Feli drew closer to him, Arthur seemed to pull away. The Italian nation felt a small sense of unease set in as he felt himself break into a jog to try and catch up to Arthur.

“Arthuro! Wait for me-!”

Feli called out his voice being drowned out by the wind. Further and further he ran after Arthur, never able to touch him. The British nation was always so close yet always out of reach. The younger nation felt his heart race as the sense of unease grew larger. A deep rooted need to get to Arthur began to consume him. Arthur continued to move ahead of him, not seemly bothered by the distance between them.

“Please Arthur-! Wait for me amore! Don’t leave me behind-!”

Feliciano said before he tripped over his own two feet, his body hitting the ground harshly. The Italian hissed in pain before snapping his head up to try and catch a glimpse of Arthur. Feli felt his stomach drop as the sight of the sudden empty meadow greeted him. Arthur was gone, seemly having disappeared into thin air. Blood began to pound in his ears as he forced himself to his feet, his amber gaze searching frantically. Yet no sign of the familiar Englishman was seen.

“Arthur?!? Arthur where are you?!? Please answer me!! Don’t leave me all alone!!”

Feliciano shouted out as he began to run into a full on sprint. He needed to find Arthur before it was too late. The meadow around him began to grow dark the longer he ran. Its once vibrant grass and flowers becoming dead and brittle. The warmth he’d once felt began to become cold and biting. Yet he persisted onwards refusing to leave Arthur alone. The Italian finally found the Englishman however……

“ARTHUR!!”

He screamed his eyes burning at the sudden tears that threatened to fall. There laying amongst a battlefield of bodies was his beloved Arthur. The Englishman’s body was curled up in an awkward position, his once bright lively eyes, now a dull grey color. Blood stained his clothes and weapons and hair, making the sight of him even more horrific. Feliciano’s body moved on its own, not caring if he had to step over the soliders who’d fallen. All he cared about was getting to Arthur. He needed Arthur to be okay.

'Please….! Whoever is out there listening please….! Not him…..anyone but him…..!’

The Italian nation pleaded to any deity that was listening. After an eternity of stumbling over the dirt, soliders and discarded weapons he finally got to Arthur. The English nation didn’t move as his lover came up beside him. Feliciano felt his throat tighten and his heart shatter as his worst fears were confirmed.

Arthur, his sweet and fierce Arthur was gone.

Feli’s legs gave out from under him, causing him to collapse beside Arthur. Fresh stinging tears burned at his eyes and overflowed onto his cheeks. With trembling hands the younger nation reached out to cup one of Arthur’s cheeks. Cold met his warmth and brought forth more bitter and broken tears. Feliciano gently gathered his lover into his arms, laying his head into his shoulder. Cradling him close Feli let out a broken wail as the reality hit him. Burying his face into Arthur’s hair Feliciano wept and sobbed. His heart shattering even more as he clung to the once strong and warm nation.

“Arthur…..Arthur mi amore please come back don’t leave me alone……I can’t do this without you……”

Feli begged receiving no reply. Instead all he received was the cruel silence of the dead. With stuttering breaths Feliciano kissed Arthur’s head, praying for a miracle that wouldn’t appear. Arthur was gone, no longer would he have his sweet shy smiles directed at him. No longer would he have his stern yet gentle scoldings whenever he’d done something silly or foolish, no longer would he hear his laughter or see his adorable pouts.

No longer would he hear those three words whispered to him in their most intimate moments.

Choking on his tears Feli rocked the two of them back and forth, drowning in his own grief. Once again he’d failed to protect the one he loved, once again he was left completely and utterly alone in this world. Forced to continue living while his heart was no longer with it.

'First Holy Rome……and now you……forgive me Arthur please forgive me for not being able to keep you safe. Amore mio, mia cara, ti amo per favore non lasciarmi solo…..’

Feliciano was alone and broken and there was nothing he could do.

~~~~~

A sharp gasp and Feliciano flung up in his bed. His eyes wide and filled with tears and fear. Shaking slightly he ran a hand through his hair, biting his fist as he bit back his sobs. A small whimper came from him, causing the other body in the bed to groan sleepy. Feli’s eyes snapped towards the other side of his bed as his beloved Arthur awoken. Sleepy green eyes blinked at him as he rubbed at one of them.

“Feli…..? What’s going on you alright luv…..?”

Arthur asked his voice soft and full of sleep. Feliciano began to shake some more as he took in the sight of Arthur alive and well next to him. The Brit was completely fine, his skin and clothes clean of any blood. Arthur was okay, his love was still there with him. Feli let out a choked sob making Arthur become more awake instantly at the sound.

“Feli, love what’s wrong? Poppet you’re crying….”

Arthur said his voice soft and full of concern. The Englishman barely had a chance to prepare himself before he was tackled by a sobbing Italian. Stiffening for only a moment Arthur quickly relaxed and hugged his boyfriend tightly. He had no idea what was going on but he knew that Feli was shaken up and he was determined to make it better.

“It’s alright my darling. It’s going to be alright, I’m here. I’ve got you love.”

Arthur spoke soothingly, rubbing gentle circles on Feliciano’s back. The younger nation just clung to him, his ear pressed up against the older nation’s chest. The steady, gentle sound of Arthur’s heartbeat filled Feliciano’s ears. Showing him proof that his treasure was alive and with him. That his precious Arthur wasn’t on a battlefield somewhere dying or dead. That Feli wasn’t alone again. The Italian clung to him tightly not wanting to let him go. The two stayed like this for a beat before the silence was broken by Feli.

“I love you Arthuro, mi tesoro. If anything happened to you……it’d break my heart…..please…..please don’t leave me Arthur…..”

Feliciano begged his voice thick and full of a fragility. Arthur gave his lover a stunned look before his gaze softened in understanding. Leaning down he placed a loving kiss on Feliciano’s head.

“I could never leave you darling…..you’re my heart and soul. To leave you would be a pain that I could not bare…..I love you too much to leave you alone.”

Arthur said squeezing the Italian gently. Feli gave a whimpering sniffle, more eased now that he heard that his feelings were mutual. Arthur gently manoeuvred them back into the bed to lay down. Keeping Feliciano’s head over his chest above his heart, the older nation began to run his fingers through the other man’s hair. Arthur began to hum a soft lullaby as he did the soothing action making Feli relax at the combination. Closing his eyes he listened to the sound of Arthur’s gentle heartbeat and his soft and sweet humming. A feeling of ease and love filled him as he slowly began to fall back asleep. Arthur wouldn’t leave him and he wouldn’t leave Arthur and at that moment it was enough.

*This is my first time writing for a prompt week so I’m pretty excited!! Our first prompt was Fears and I’d decided to go with Feli given that he’s a usually chipper guy. I think that his biggest fear would be being left alone. After losing someone like Holy Rome it’d make sense that he’d have a fear of losing his loved ones and being left behind. So I wrote this small piece with that idea in mind. Anyways if any y'all read this I hope you enjoyed it!!! And here’s my first submission @engitaweek2022!*

Benedictus Dominus Deus meus, qui docet manus meas ad prælium, et digitos meos ad bellum.

hre 0,000005 seconds before dying