#aro discussion
Discussion Topic 4
Is your experience of aromanticism different from ace aros? And how/why? (Plus any other thoughts on the topic.)
And/or
Is your experience of your sexual orientation different from alloromantic people with the same orientation? And how/why + other thoughts?
(I’m going to be using my personal blog for personal additions from now on but to clarify I run @alloarocommunity.)
Yes I experience aromanticism differently from aroaces. It’s really difficult to put how exactly into words which is why I’m hoping to hear more perspectives.
Obviously with bi people there’s the SAM issue - this is a thing with aroaces (bc not all of them use the SAM although some do) as well, but a lot of aspec use the SAM, and even those who don’t have an understanding of it.
I don’t interact much with the bi community because I can’t without being erased/ignored. That sounds negative but I don’t blame them. It’s no individual personal making the decision to ignore aro people it’s just that for a couple of reasons it tends to happen naturally.
Aromantic awareness is pretty dire, so most people don’t know about or don’t think to include aros in discussions.
As well as this, when people who don’t use the SAM talk about sexual orientations they tend to talk about crushes and relationships. And that’s where they lose me.
It’s a fundamentally different experience being aromantic bisexual and being just bisexual. I relate on a surface level. I love bi memes and the bi flag, and bi jokes. And I do relate to being bisexual, that’s why I use the label. It’s not just that the word technically describes me, I relate to the term and to the community. But being aromantic means that I can’t relate to a lot of bi experiences.
On the other hand, as much as many of us feel erased for being allosexual in the aromantic community, I’ve always felt that most of the community understands and expects that we all have wildly different experiences with the way our orientations intersect with each other.
When I talk about being aromantic, my sexual orientation doesn’t even really come into it. Of course, that can lead to the feeling of erasure, but it’s still easier for me to interact with the community when it’s not assumed that my experiences correspond with everyone elses.
Discussion Topic 4
Is your experience of aromanticism different from ace aros? And how/why? (Plus any other thoughts on the topic.)
And/or
Is your experience of your sexual orientation different from alloromantic people with the same orientation? And how/why + other thoughts?
Discussion Topic 3
Do you prioritise your either your arospec identity or your allosexual identity, or see them as equally important? Why?
I generally prioritise my aro identity in terms of how much it effects my life…. which may not be surprising considering I run this blog!
I’m very lucky irl to live in a tolerant and accepting place and to have tolerant friends and family, so I don’t feel that being bisexual actually effects my life very much? Honestly, the most I think about it is due to media criticism (because representation of bi characters is… so bad).
But being aromantic effects everything I do all the time. There is no normalised role in society for the nonamorous and that is the reality that I constantly have to deal with.
Reblogging here because this is something I’d be really interested to hear different perspectives on! I’ve seen aroaces and alloromantic aces talk about it but not allo aros
Neither. Or both. Or one or the other moreso depending on whats going on in my life, how Im feeling, etc. I have a lot of personal identity labels and some i dont Even talk about. I try not to get too wildly tied up in hyperfocussing on a specific identity label because it’s easy to lose perspective of the self, and Who you are as a whole. Peoples identities and selves are very fractured these days where everyone has to have a specific brand for each specific social media site, and collect a specific label for each differing manifestation of identity.
