#aspec issues
And How to Respond to Them
Using aro-spec / ace-spec identities to sideline characters in a story, isn’t the kind of representation aro-spec / ace-spec people want. This is quite often done to remove the character as a relationship option or to shift focus on characters who are not aro-spec / ace-spec. In doing so, people are basically confirming that the kinds of relationships we form are less important. They are also confirming that our existence is less important. Our stories are less important. How our aro-ness or ace-ness intersects with other experiences is less important. That is a problem for us.
What is not a problem for us, is when aro-spec / ace-spec people choose to see themselves in characters whose experiences are similar to their own. There is a big difference between us interpreting characters as such, and people who are not us interpreting characters as such in a faux-support move. We are invested in the characters being representative of us. We do not see our identity as a simple plot device. The addition of our identity to a character does not take anything about them away. It adds nuance to that character. There’s nothing wrong with that. At all.
I can understand people being upset and resistant to anyone erasing one part of a character’s canon identity in order to include a headcanoned identity. However, this happens to many different characters of different identities. I have seen this often happen to non-binary or non-binary coded characters, who are interpreted as strictly binary by fans. I have seen the very very few aro-spec and ace-spec characters we have erased by fans, who don’t care about how being aro-spec or ace-spec would play out in a relationship. So, it happens to everybody, but I’ve only seen aro-spec / ace-spec folks yelled at for doing it.
Point is, don’t be fake about your support. Don’t use aro-spec / ace-spec people as pawns in your fandoms. If you’re going to represent us, do it because you want to represent us. Not so you can write us off. Also, don’t punish aro-spec / ace-spec people for actually being invested in their representation. We are not the problem. Wanting to see ourselves in fiction is not the problem. Being aro-spec or ace-spec shouldn’t be treated like a punishment. When you address people using aro-spec / ace-spec identities to sideline characters, maybe don’t alienate actual aro-spec / ace-spec people when you address it.
If, in fact, you find people using our identities dishonestly, that is not the time to reinforce the idea that aro-spec / ace-spec identities are a punishment. That is not the time to alienate aro-spec / ace-spec people, by explaining how not aro-spec or ace-spec a character is as if being aro-spec / ace-spec is abnormal. The best thing to do is ask someone why they interpret someone as aro-spec / ace-spec. Why is it that this interpretation is being revealed while the character is being treated as less important or less valuable to a relationship? It is not a bad thing to be us. It is a bad thing to use us to treat others as less-than.
Hey alloaros, this is for you:
- No matter what anyone says, you are an essential part of the aromantic and aspec communities.
- You are not a bad person because today’s societal standards demonize sex without romance. There is NOTHING WRONG with experiencing sexual attraction but not romantic. It is real and your experiences deserve to be recognized.
So much activism that I see in the aspec community revolves around aroaces and occasionally, alloaces. This is a reminder to include alloaros in aspec acitivism!! THEY ARE SO VALID, and they deserve to feel seen!!!
