His ghost haunts me

Levi Ackerman x Reader // gn!reader

“ his ghost haunts me, but he is not dead. Levi Ackerman is the furthest thing from dead ”

A short imagine, will be turned into a oneshot, but for now I like it too much to not post a snippet

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In your dreams, he is there- every time you close your eyes, he is there. Levi is neither dead nor a ghost, but he haunts you all the same. Whispered confessions filter through your ears; “I love you,” but love isn’t enough for the Ackerman to stay, he considers it a weakness and humanity’s strongest is not allowed to have a weakness.

So he leaves, the broken expression on his face apology enough, but you don’t want expressions, you want words- words that match his expression. 

Humanity’s strongest is nothing but a coward, you’ve decided. Cowards run away, they don’t stick around to find out; cowards let society’s expectations suffocate them in its grip. Though, you admit, it is comforting: knowing what is expected of you. Levi knows what he is capable of, what he is supposed to be, one can not blame him for following through no matter how bad you want to.

‘Levi is not dead,’ you think. ‘But he haunts me.’

What he could have been- should have been, haunts you. Late night talks, hot chamomile tea in hand, ‘he could have been so much more than humanities greatest,’ but he never will. You can still feel his smile, the way his lips curved before placing a chaste kiss against your neck. Levi wanted more, at least that night under the cold sheets, he wanted more.

It takes a mere second for change to occur, perhaps those 20 seconds of silence after his confessions, when your hand raked through his hair and after you both burst into giggles, he decided he did not want that.

You no longer share a room, but you cannot help but wonder if he’s washed away your scent; if he has thrown away the half burned sandalwood candle you’d fought tooth and nail to keep and if your half of the bed would still mold to your body.

He is unforgettable and maybe it’s the memories shared that makes it seem that way, but Levi lingers. In the halls, in your bed, on your skin, on the very tips of your fingers; he lingers. 

“It’s been how long?” Jean asks, sighing as he takes a seat beside you. “What will it take for you to get over him?”

‘Time’ you think, turning your attention towards him, “It will take time, Jean.” you’ve told him the same thing a million times before. “How long will it take you to get over Mikas-”

A hand is clamped over your mouth, he is giving you a death stare- one that says ‘shut the fuck up,’ so you shut the fuck up, but not without licking his hand.

He frowns, pulling his hand away rather slowly as he watches you. “That was disgusting,” Jean grumbles, wiping the hand on his shirt. “I can’t believe you just licked me- you don’t even know what I’ve done with this hand.”

Now you frown, he is right hand dominant and you think you’re going to be sick. “Yep, my day is even more ruined.”

“Woah, captain’s lookin’ at you,” Jean teases, nudging your shoulder. “Oh, he’s walking over her-”

Levi clears his throat, you wince. Moments pass, a word has yet to be spoken. One can hope he will walk away, again. 

“Cadet (L/N),” he starts, eyes boring down at you. Levi is irritated, you can feel it. “My office after training, don’t be late." 

You want to ask why, ‘why would you want me back there’, but instead you nod, "Yes captain” falling from your chapped lips. 

The potato soup on your plate has gone cold, so you find Sasha and give it to her, you don’t have an appetite anyway- Levi took it with him, who knows if he’ll give it back.