Here you will find all things Levi Ackerman! Every oneshot, request, and multi-chapter fic I write about humanity’s strongest soldier will be right here for you to see!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Hajime Isayama
Finally, we have arrived to the last work (7/7) of the Candy Heart Club! Levi Ackerman is our last boy up with the candy heart saying “I’m Yours”. Thank you so much for all of your support throughout this even, you guys are the best! Stay sweet and happy February!
Prompt:Candlelight dinners and moonlight strolls are something you and Levi do so rarely, you don’t even remember the last time either of you had the time to do something so peaceful and lovely. So, when Levi suggests to do both in the same evening? Something’s gotta be up.
A/N: Firstly, I would like to say I am so sorry that this is getting out so late. Some IRL stuff came up that I had to deal with, so that had to take my priority. Secondly, I would like to thank each and every one of you for consistently supporting me throughout this event! I had a lot of fun with these prompts and making fun stuff for Valentine’s Day and the month of February. And, lastly, thank you all so so much for 800! I really have so much fun writing these works and being a part of this fun community online and I look forward to many more things in the future. For now, I hope you enjoy this fic!
Word Count: 1.4K
Biting into the roll, you almost groan at the taste. After it was warmed and slathered with butter, a delacy within the Scout Regiment, it was practically the best thing you’ve ever tasted.
“Don’t choke on it,” Levi’s voice from across the table interrupted your chewing, an “are you kidding me” look present on his face.
“It’s so good,” you say, almost in awe of how it seemed to hug your taste buds, “how’d you get it?” Levi shook his head and smiled, passing you the second half of his roll towards you wordlessly. You looked up at him and down at the roll and then back to him. He confirms his intentions and you scoop the roll onto your plate.
“I just talked to a few people to find out where they were.” He says nonchalantly, his gaze fixated on the little candle burning on the small table you were seated at.
“What’d you tell them this time - you’ll make them trim every blade of grass with a pair of scissors, one by one?” You quip, sighing happily into the perfectly cooked meal all laid out before you. Levi’s hand settles gently atop yours, brushing your skin with his calloused thumb. Silence settles as the two of you eat, savoring the delectable food that only comes around once in a while. Even though the both of you were high ranking soldiers within the scout regiment, really good food was hard to come by. So, tonight, it was a gift - an expensive one.
“I don’t want you to rush, so just keep enjoying your dinner, but I was thinking we could take the horses out for a bit tonight.” Raising a brow and pronging another morsel onto your fork, you wave it around a bit, gesturing to him.
“What is all this? Candlelight dinner, a moonlight ride… it’s very romantic.” Rolling his eyes, he pinches your hand a bit.
“We’ve both been busy and we haven’t had time to do either in a while, so I figured we could just do both tonight.” You give him a grin as you pop the last bit of food, part of the roll that you had saved, into your mouth. You didn’t feel the need to mention that the two of you went out for a long walk the other night, soaking up the fresh air and the presence of each other just two weeks ago.
“Okay then,” you say, swallowing the last bit of food. If Levi wanted to be romantic and gentlemanly and sweet, you weren’t going to stop him. It’s not a side of him you get to see often. To you, he was like a street cat that had to be slowly tamed. You knew he had a much more vulnerable center but the shell he kept around himself was scrappy and protective. But, with enough trust, that little cat would roll onto its back and expose its soft underbelly, longing for affection. Swallowing the last of your food, you flip your hand so that it rests now completely in his palm. You tug him up from his seat a bit and the two of you walk down the quiet corridor of the unofficial scout HQ, finding your way towards the stables.
Brushing your horse’s mane was something so subtly calming that you found yourself unraveling every strand for hours. Thus, your dapple gray horse was always in peak condition - its ivory and taupe mane and tail always flowing and a very happy animal that would take you anywhere you wanted to go.
“That animal is spoiled.” Whipping around from where you were situating your saddle to the man who was already seated atop his black horse, there was Levi.
“She is not spoiled, she just looks pristine. As opposed to yours, even though I brush him from time to time. I told you that you needed to be more consistent with his care or else he’ll buck you off.” Levi exhales out of his nose a little harshly, hard enough that you could hear it, and he pats his horse on the neck.
“Hurry up, we’re losing moonlight.” He says, drawling a bit on the last word. Your laugh, which sounded like a short snort, came out of your mouth as you buckle the girth of the saddle, situate your foot in one of the stirrups, and hoist yourself up and onto your mare.
“Yeah, yeah, let’s get going. You lead the way, since you’re so eager to get out there.” Levi turns his horse around a bit and taps it with his heels, encouraging the black stallion into a steady trot. You fall in place beside him easily.
The ride was lovely, the warm summer air wrapping around you like a hug. There were fireflies, their lights flickering on and off, dotting yours and Levi’s way as he led you deeper through the plains and into the woods.
“Levi, where are we going? We’ve kinda strayed off course from the regular riding path,” you ask, both of your horses now at a languid walking pace. His chiseled face maintained a steady gaze forward.
“Let it be a surprise, will you?” He huffs, a quiver of a smile flitting across his lips. A similar one spreads across your face as you twist your horse’s mane in between your fingers alongside the reins.
“Okay, Levi Ackerman. Surprise me.” Finally, he looks at you. He guides his horse closer to you and pulls your arm, giving you a quick kiss.
“You’re a smartass. Now, hop on behind me and I’ll guide your horse there. Close your eyes, and don’t peek.” Giggling, like you’re twelve years old, you hop onto your hot boyfriend’s horse and wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek into his back. Oh if little you could see you now. You could almost feel him roll his eyes, but he shakes a bit as a chuckle reverberates through him. You two stay like this for a couple more minutes until, finally, you feel the both of you pause.
“Okay, can I open?” You ask, eager to see what Levi has tried keeping a secret for the entire evening.
“Yeah,” he says, dismounting and holding your hand, helping you off while still keeping your eyes closed. “You can open ‘em.” As your Y/E/C eyes flutter open, you have to inhale a huge breath because of the scene around you. Like it was plucked out of an award winning painting, an enchanting setting fell across your view. A pond full of lily pads and a grove of willow trees, the most gorgeous field of flowers befell you. It was like the petals were born from the starry sky, the color pulled from the very moon beams that nurtured it. It was such beauty, such calmness that you didn’t think you could ever find in nature, in this world. Slowly, you sink into the beds of flowers and draw your hands over them, marveling at both their strength and delicacy.
“Levi, I… I don’t even know the words to describe this place.” Overwhelming your senses, you feel the tears in your eyes well. For the first time, you think in your entire life, happy tears start trickling down your face. Wordlessly, he cups your face with both of his hands and stares into your eyes, his own dull gray capturing every speck of color in yours.
“Y/N, I know I’m not easy to love. I never have been, and I don’t know if I ever will be. But I know that I love you, and dammit, I want you to love me.”
“I do love you-”
“Just let me finish.” And you do. “I want you to love me for the rest of your lives. And I know that I will love you. So, just…” Levi pauses, a little lost for words. “I’m yours - completely yours, if you’ll be mine.” It’s not a storybook proposal by any means. There’s no ring, no promise of a wedding, no ‘will you marry me’. But you know what this means, and it means more than any of those things could.
“I’m yours,” you promise, kissing him and wrapping your arms around his neck. “I am yours.”
Event Taglist:
❤ Message or comment to be added to the Candy Hearts Club taglist! ❤
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Hajime Isayama
Welcome to the fourth of seven works of the Candy Heart Club! Fourth up is Levi Ackerman with the candy heart saying “One and Only”. Let me know if you’d like to be added to the event taglist, and as always, the event masterlist is linked right above! Stay sweet and happy February!
Prompt:Humanity’s strongest soldier never thought about settling down with anyone - but when he sees you? He can’t stop wondering about what a life with you might look like.
A/N: Hi guys! Here is the fourth part of the Valentine’s Day event! Another fic should be up later tonight, so be on the lookout for that. But yay! Levi! Our fav captain! I hope you all enjoy <3
Word Count: 1.4K
Considering he was a man with a constant struggle against insomnia, Levi Ackerman didn’t rest much. While he was always willing to lay down with you for a bit until you drift off to sleep, but after he was sure you were deep in dreamland, he’d carefully let you go and move his arms - leaving you on the bed curled up under covers and allowing him to tiptoe out of your shared room and into his office directly adjacent to it. But while his physical self strayed a bit farther from you, his mind surely did not. In fact, when he wasn’t flying in the air with blades unsheathed, his eyes set dead on the nape of the titan in front of him, his thoughts only seemed to be of you.
It was odd, he used to think, that you had chosen him of all people to be interested in. He didn’t fit the bill of primary requirements that women might want; sure he was athletic, built, and had a pretty face - but he was also short, working most of the time, and harsh. You liked to joke that you didn’t choose and that you were just stuck with him through some twist of fate, but every time before the two of you would leave for a mission, you’d leave him with the same words: “I’d always choose you.” And he, without hesitation, would always choose you too.
You were a clear leader amongst your colleagues and the scouts, but held an understanding that Levi lacked. You were able to note the relationships between the cadets and what made them tick, you knew what meal day tended to be their favorite, but most importantly, you knew him.
Levi was a difficult person to understand. Buried deep under layers and layers of hard cold exterior was a most vulnerable and sensitive human being. The memories of his mother, his first two friends, and his squad were pushed down so he didn’t have to relive it every thirty seconds. And you knew all of it. You knew that when he tipped his head down a bit, just so that his hair covered his eyes, it would be so that no one could see the tears threatening to spill from them. You knew when he wanted a hug, he needed one. You know he loves you.
It was another one of those nights where sleep couldn’t grace him. He was left to stare at the ceiling while you buried your face into the crook of his neck. Your breathing tickled the skin there and it blew back the tips of his hair just a little bit, but he didn’t mind. Not one bit. In fact, tonight, he held on a bit tighter to you instead of slipping away to make a dent in his ever growing pile of paperwork. He turned his head just a bit to look at you. Your face was clear of the stress and worry lines that held purchase on your skin during the day. Your eyes weren’t scrunched in frustration or confusion at the new squad formation blueprints. You looked so peaceful, it almost made Levi want to cry.
This was how he wanted you to be every day. Not in the sense of you shouldn’t be a part of the survey corps - he knew you would never be happy sitting around in a house while there was something you could be doing to help the cause. He wanted the titans to be gone and for the two of you to live in a little cottage in the countryside, where the only thing you would hear in the mornings would be the bluebirds singing and the little stream in your yard rushing. He wants to see you smiling as the two of you read in chairs outside, rocking back and forth on your front porch. And then when he looks down at your hands and sees the rings on both your fingers- woah.
“Where the hell did that come from.” He thinks aloud, whispering the words. He looks back to the ceiling, then glances at you again. Marriage was something that was always on his no-no list. Too big of a commitment in the world he was currently living in. Just the notion of what the ring brought along with it made him nervous and unsteady. He despised the thought of finding a severed hand with a ring on it even more. So why was he thinking about it? Finally, he resumed his usual nightly routine. He unwound his arms from you, making sure you were still sound and asleep, lightly snoring against your pillow, and then he made his way out of the room and towards his desk.
He all but collapsed into his office chair, blowing out air from his puffed cheeks as he retraced his mental steps. Obviously, he loves you. He would be a fool to try and think otherwise. But where did that urge for that sort of future come from? It’d be ideal for both of you to make it alive and out of this hell the two of you were privy to. But marriage? Dressing up and having a little ceremony, him in his best clothes and you in a sweet white dress with a little bouquet of flowers in your hand. It was all so domestic, so carefree. Not at all feeling like there was an invisible time limit on it all. No sand from an hourglass falling, no time on a watch ticking.
Levi’s eyes darted around his desk. Papers were stacked in tidy piles, pens lined up neatly along the left side. He pulled open all his drawers except for the big one at the bottom, leaving that one completely alone. There wasn’t much to be seen within them - a magnifying glass and loose leaf paper being some of the only things in it. Then, he finds it. One of the two things he kept from his mother. The first was folded nicely atop a stack of fresh clothes tomorrow, the ivory white cravat that was cut from the cloth of his mother’s dress. And now, in his hands, was the second. It was simple, not nearly polished enough, and without any kind of stone or adornments welded on to it. The little ring that his mother had worn on a necklace ever since he was a baby. If he could imagine it hard enough, he could remember trying to grab on to it as a toddler and twisting it between his little fingers. He played with it in his palm, now. Letting it roll around and settle into his palm, leaving faint tracks of dust all over it. Rubbing at it a little with the handkerchief relieved it of some of the grime, leaving a matte, but nice, looking ring.
Levi stood, a clean ring in his hand and a view of you sleeping in his eyes. He took a deep breath and stepped towards you, moving without any desire to shove the small piece of jewelry back into the depths of his desk. You’re still sleeping and don’t even stir when he climbs back into bed and blows out the candle, carefully peeling back and then covering himself in the blankets you were tucked into. Like a puzzle piece, he maneuvers himself so that he’s back to where he was before with your head in the crook of his neck and your left hand played across his chest. But now, instead of trying to find a way to sleep, he gently lifted your hand. With a shuddering breath, he plucks the ring from his hand and begins to slide it slowly onto your ring finger. It fits perfectly. And then, like a butterfly, he holds your hand in his - and a smile crosses his face. A silent, sappy smile that he would be shocked to find on himself if he looked into a mirror. But looking at what he wanted his future to be in the flesh was overwhelming to him in the best way possible.
Of course, though, you had to stir awake. Blinking the sleep away from your eyes slowly, you register something on your hand that wasn’t there before.
“Did you put a ring on my finger?” You mumble, wiggling your left ring finger and looking at the man whose arms you were in.
“Yeah.” He says simply, looking down at you now with a neutral expression.
“Hmm,” you hum, closing your eyes and snuggling in closer to him. “Okay.” With that, he closes his eyes too and, like a miracle, Levi finds sleep that night. Tucked into bed, no thoughts of the dangers ahead, and with you. His one and only.
Event Taglist:
❤ Message or comment to be added to the Candy Hearts Club taglist! ❤
Request from anon: Hey there! I recently found your blog and i love the content <3. May I request a fluffy scenario or hc, (in canon AU) where levi overhears the reader talking to hange about how much she loves him please?
Genre: fluff
Warnings: none
A/n: I loved this request! Thank you for sending it in & I hope you enjoy
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Levi moved silently down the hall, not wanting to disturb anyone as a result of his own inability to sleep. If he couldn’t get some rest, he figured a cup of tea would suffice. His restless legs carried him into the kitchen where he set to work preparing his beverage. He’d just set his kettle down to boil when he heard a familiar voice carrying in from the mess hall just on the other side of the door.
Levi felt his chest tighten. A anxious pit had opened up in his stomach, an almost foreign emotion to the famously level-headed captain, as his mind took off running with scenario after scenario of what you could possibly be concerned about.
“I sound stupid, right? You can tell me to shut up, honestly,” you pulled out the chair across from Hange, who was seated at the a table in the empty mess. “I just didn’t know who else I could talk to about this.”
“Have you considered talking to him about it?” The brunette cocked an eyebrow as she leaned forward, crossing her arms atop the wood of the table. “I mean, you’re gonna tell him, right?”
“How? I wouldn’t even know how to start that conversation,” the trepidation in your voice didn’t go unheard by either pair of ears that they fell on. “What if he doesn’t take it well?”
Who was the ‘he’ that Hange was referring to? Was it him? What could you possibly not want to talk to him about?
The pit grew deeper, bubbling up ideas that he didn’t want to give any attention to, but they were practically screaming at him. Each insecurity that he had locked up so tight was now climbing out of it’s hiding place and he swore he could feel the claws of every last one of them swiping at his insides.
His world was shaking, threatened by a foe that wasn’t even confirmed to have exist. The sheer thought of anything coming between you and him was enough to turn him into this mess of himself that he refused to recognize.
He took a deep breath, steeling his nerves to quell the thumping pulse in his ears, so that he could press one to the door and listen. His eyes closed in a soundless prayer, hoping that whatever he heard through the barrier wouldn’t knock the air from his lungs. Finally grounding himself, his focus returned just in time to realize that he had missed whatever the spectacled woman had just said.
“Just tell him that I love him?” You shook your head, unaware that you had indirectly just confessed your affections to the man in question. “I wouldn’t even know how to go about it.”
You sighed, leaning back in your chair as you folded your arms over your chest. Meanwhile, just in the other room, Levi’s heart had risen from the sunken pit in his stomach to take root in it’s rightful place as a warm, welcome feeling spread throughout his chest. His breath was trapped in his throat, caught there upon hearing your admission as he didn’t want to let a gasp slip out, lest he alert you to his presence.
“I mean, he’s just so..perfect,” your thoughtful expression was trained on the table as you let your thoughts flow freely. “He’s obviously out of my league, physically. Both in skill and appearance. He seems so intimidating, but really he’s just so soft beneath all those layers of sarcasm and indifference that he puts up for everyone. I know he may not seem like it, but he really does have a way with words. He always seems to know just what to say somehow. Ugh, and he’s so attentive. I honestly feel bad sometimes, because he’s still so mysterious even to me sometimes and then he’s already mastered this way of knowing exactly what I need before I even realize it. I love him so much that it’s actually starting to scare me, you know? I just don’t want to scare him off because of it.”
Hange smiled softly as she placed both of her palms flat on the table. Her lips parted to convey her response, but both of you were suddenly put on alert by a high-pitched whistling that was coming from the kitchen. You furrowed your brow as you stood, making your way to the door while Hange came up behind you.
“Hello? Someone in here?” You called out as your fingertips pressed against the door.
Levi jumped back when he heard your boots click just on the other side of the wood that still separated you, muttering curses as he hurriedly tended to the now boiling kettle of water.
“Levi?” Your eyes shot open as they fell upon his frame and a sudden realization of just how surprisingly thin the castle’s walls were hit you. “What’re you doing here?”
“Killing titans, what’s it look like?” His lips shifted into a soft smirk as he stared back at you.
From her place behind you, still in the mess hall, Hange’s eyebrows raised, an excited grin replacing her previous expression of concern.
“Well, would you look at that? If shorty’s up, it must be past my bedtime,” she spun on her heel, waving one hand up to signify her departure. “Good night, you two.”
You glanced over your shoulder to watch her leave through the far entrance of the mess hall that you had arrived through together and then turned your attention back to Levi, who unbeknownst to you was just as nervous as you were.
“Did you, uh,” you stepped completely into the kitchen, keeping a short distance between you as your eyes fell to the floor. “Did you hear any of our conversation?”
“Why? Is there something that you were afraid I’d hear?” He finished pouring the water into his tea cup and set it aside as he leaned back against the countertop. “Were you and four eyes gossiping about me?”
“No!” You put your hands up in front of you, shaking your head as you looked back at him. His expression was softer than you thought it would be, but it didn’t do much to silence the nerves of yours that were called to attention. “I mean, no I would neve—“
“Never talk about me behind my back?” His eyes glinted with a playful edge as he stepped toward you, his arms reaching out to catch you around your waist, pulling you close to him. “Because from what I did hear, I would consider that to be a blatant lie, brat.”
You wanted to disappear, to slip away and out of his arms, so that you could run and hide from the impending embarrassment that was about to rain down on you. Shrinking away as best you could within his grasp, your eyes found anywhere else to look but upon his face as he watched in bemusement for just a moment, not wanting to torture you any further. His voice was soft as a feather when he spoke again, your chin captured between his thumb and forefinger as he directed your eyes to his own.
“I love you too, you know.”
It felt like your heart had stopped, too overloaded with the feeling of joy that his words brought you, until it began thumping again so loudly that you were afraid you might scare him away from you. Your hands moved to the space between his neck and shoulders as you searched his kind, grey eyes, looking for confirmation that this was real and not some cruel dream that you were having.
That confirmation came by the way that he smiled when he cupped your face so delicately in his hand, his thumb brushing over your cheek as he studied your features with a look that you thought only existed in the books you read. One so full of love and adoration that it shone through someone. Telltale signs of their pleasant affliction present on their lips and rooted deep behind their gentle eyes. You tried in vain to pause time, wishing that you could just stay here forever with him as his lips met yours.
You had shared too many kisses to keep count of, but this one was different. This one felt permanent. It felt like a quiet promise that was shared only between lovers. A kiss that some people wait a lifetime for and that some people are never able to find. And here you were, sharing in this sweet, silent promise with Levi. Sharing a kiss that felt like forever.
“I love you, Y/n,” his left arm wrapped around you, holding you close to him as his right still held your face, his eyes unable to leave your own.
“I love you too, Levi,” you watched his lips turn up in the most genuine smile that you had ever seen them form as you returned his expression, leaning into him to capture his lips, tasting another glimpse of forever.
Request from Anon: Heyo! If its okay can I request a scenario where the reader has a fight with Levi and then gets hurt while on a mission and thinks he lost you. And Levi regrets what he said as the last thing that happened was the argument. Basically lots of fluff and Angst! c:
Warnings: Blood, traumatic injuries, mentions of loss/death, pregnancy, angst, allusion to abortion
Word count: 4.1k
A/n: Holy FUCK I am so sorry that it took so long, but here ya go! Also, I hadn’t written angst in so damn long, so fingers crossed this is at least half-decent. I promise there’s plenty of fluffiness at the end! Thank you for the request
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Fuck. No. No, no, no, no, no.Where the fuck is she?
Levi desperately scanned the city streets, soaring between buildings faster than he had ever managed to travel before.
Everyone else had already retreated. The mission to scout within this section of Wall Maria was an absolute disaster from the get-go. There were far too many titans, dozens more than past expeditions would have led anyone to believe, and most of the new recruits had paid the insurmountable price of the regiment underestimating this excursion with their lives.
It was a dark day for the Scouts, but it was an even darker day for one in particular.
Levi had seen you not ten minutes ago, catapulting through the air and claiming the napes of countless titans. You both knew that if any more lives were to be spared, you’d both have to fight with everything that you had to give the others who still could flee a chance at returning home in one piece.
He was humanity’s strongest, it was his duty to throw himself into battle to protect others. You were a fiercely skilled soldier, your kill rate: second only to Levi’s. If there was to be a chance for everyone else, it rested on both of your shoulders.
But now that burden was crushing him. Pulling the air from his lungs faster than he could inhale. Cracking his sternum under the immense pressure; threatening to pierce his very heart with the shards of what crumbled within him.
The others had gotten away; no further lives were lost. He should be relieved, but instead he feels regret.
Regret that he didn’t take all those titans on himself.
Regret that he lost track of you in the commotion.
Regret that he couldn’t find you now.
Regret that he couldn’t hear your response when he cried out to you.
But most of all he felt regret for what he had said when you last spoke.
//Earlier that morning//
You had been standing outside Levi’s room for a few minutes too long, drawing curious stares as people passed down the hall, no doubt wondering why you, who were normally so composed, looked like such a mess.
A quick, shallow inhale was the last burst of self-assurance you could offer yourself before you landed an urgent knock on his door.
“Levi, can I talk to you for a minute?”
The fragile quality of your voice matched the urgent tone of your approach and before you could have any second thoughts, the door swung open.
“Good morning to you too, brat.”
The handsome, playful smirk that you had come to love so much greeted you as you carried yourself through the door, promptly shutting it behind you as you pushed your way past Levi.
Another, deeper breath in and you were searching for the nerve to initiate the conversation that you never thought that you would have with this man, this absolute specimen.
You took a moment to observe him, trying to collect your jumbled thoughts. It was still early, but he’d probably been up for hours. If he even slept; he usually didn’t the night before an expedition. His eyes were tired, as they usually were, but soft as they fell on your frame.
Not many people would use that word to describe Levi Ackerman. Actually, there probably wasn’t a soul within the walls who would. Except you. He had shown his soft side, his most intimate, vulnerable parts of himself with you. That meant something, right? You couldn’t help but doubt yourself once again as you took in the sight of him.
His hair was still a bit askew, his cravat dangling untied around his neck. Those eyes were piercing straight into yours, threatening to dive in and pull the words you were too scared to say from your lips, whether you bid them to leave or not.
There was no turning back now.
“I-I-…I thought that,” you stammered, dropping your gaze to the floor as it became obvious you wouldn’t be able to beat holding eye contact with him. “I thought that I might have been pregnant.”
There it was. The horror that had been plaguing you for weeks now. It was out in the open, finally. It felt somewhat relieving to actually say the words out loud; to acknowledge the anxiety that had been haunting you for so long now, but it also invited a whole new wave of torment.
Levi’s jaw was immediately sharpened into a hard set line, his eyes blazed with a concoction of confusion and rage that encouraged all that anxiety that you had thought you’d finally purged to come flooding back into your system.
“What? Y—what do you mean you thought? When? Why in the hell am I just now hearing about this? Pregnant? Dammit, Y/n, are you fucking kidding me?”
He spun away from you, one hand raking through his hair as he shut his eyes tight, before sliding his palm over his face until it rested on the desk in front of him.
“Levi, I-I’m sorry I didn’t come to you about this sooner, I thought I might have been, but I didn’t want to alarm you and..well, I-I didn’t know how you might..react..”
Trembling, you took a step back, leaning against the wall as if the physical support it offered might help you quell the doubts swelling in your chest.
Levi’s weight shifted as he leaned against the desk, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the edge and hung his head. You could see the curvature of every rippling muscle that carved his back into the work of art that it was. Normally, the sight would inspire different feelings in you, but right now all it offered was fear.
He would never lay a hand on you; you knew that for a fact. However, no amount of physical pain could even come close to what you would suffer if he ever left you. You would gladly endure any torture over having to lose Levi.
Your heart sank in your chest as you waited for what seemed like ages, desperately listening for his response. It was hard to tell what Levi was thinking almost all of the time, even as well as you had been blessed enough to come to know him, but standing here, shaking as you watched his shoulders clench and unclench as he shook his head, unable to even glance at whatever expression he was making, made it impossible to speculate what was going through his mind.
Finally, his shoulders seemed to relax a degree and his voice was low and measured when he spoke.
Venturing away from the wall, you cautiously took a few steps towards him. Craning your neck, you were able to see that his eyes were shut tight and he seemed to be intently focused on his breathing.
You nodded in vain, bobbing your head nervously as you stepped closer to him still, reaching a hand out to lay atop his left hand, which still had the edge of the desk in a vice grip.
“Yes, I’m certain.”
His shoulders sank further as he let out a long sigh and opened his eyes, keeping them fixed on the desk before him.
“Well thank God for that at least.”
A pang in your gut made you take a small step back, retracting your hand from atop his. His eyes followed your fingers as they broke contact and he fixed his eyes upon you, squinting in confusion as you shrank away from him.
It’s something that you had never considered before: kids, that is. You were a solider. You were both soldiers. The life you currently lead wasn’t conducive to starting a family.
But isn’t that part of what you were fighting for? For freedom? For a world where humans didn’t have to live in fear? One where you could live in peace and maybe bring children into the world without wondering what might become of their future?
It may be a far-fetched dream, but it was a nice ine to consider. Having spent some time contemplating what being a mother might entail, the idea has started to grow on you. It was just something you’d never even considered, but now that it had seemed within reach, maybe it was something you wanted?
But Levi’s reaction seemed to indicate anything but willingness to be a parent. The way he had said those words made it seem like the two of you literally creating a life together would be the worst thing that could happen to you both. Or to him, at least.
“What’re you doing?”
Levi’s words shook you from the runaway train of thought you’d become stuck on. His hand left the desk and reached toward you, but all you could do was stare at his palm as you backed against the wall, folding your hands behind your back and leaning against them.
Suddenly, the floor seemed to be the only thing that you could bear to look at as you inspected the pattern of wood beneath your feet. You tried to sound strong, but the crack in your voice betrayed you when you finally found the courage to speak.
“Would it really have been the worst thing if I had been?”
Another exasperated sigh fell from his lips, his head hanging as he rubbed his palm to his forehead.
“Yes. It would have been.”
The sharpness of his tone added to the cutting nature of his words, which sliced into your gut once again with that heavy pangs for sensation. It felt as if a void had been opened up within you and your heart was sinking into it, with no hopes of escape.
Tears immediately threatened to spring from your eyes and you had to swallow to choke back a sob as you nodded in a reluctant acknowledgement to his confession.
“I have to go.”
You turned to leave, bringing one hand to wipe the tears already rolling down your cheek, while the other clasped around the doorknob.
Levi’s fingers caught your wrist before you could twist the knob and pulled your hand toward him, turning you back to face him as he stepped closer, essentially pinning you between him and the door.
“What? No, talk to me, dammit. You can’t seriously think that us having a child would be a good idea. I know that you’re not that reckless or idiotic.”
Wiping away your tears proved to be a fruitless effort as his words only bid more to flow freely from your eyes. You did your best to repesss the heavy sob that escaped your chest, nearly choking on it as you looked away from him.
You had cried in front of Levi before, but not like this. Certainly never because of him. It was embarrassing. It was painful. It was a cruel torture that you wanted to end, but he seemed resolved to has this out now.
“No! That’s not what I’m saying! Obviously, I’m not that fucking stupid. I get that we can just run off and start a family and live happily ever fucking after, but I come to you with this information and the first fucking thing that you think of is to get angry with ME?”
Once the words started to tumble from your lips, the embrassment and the shame you had just been so smothered in turned to anger. To indignation. To rage. That’s all there was now. You could feel it bubble in your chest, burning within you and fueling your tirade as you found the nerve to lock eyes with Levi.
“I didn’t come to you immediately and maybe that’s my fucking bad, but you—YOU. Do. Not. Know. What I have been going through ALONE. I didn’t tell you when I first suspected, because a part of me was afraid that you would react this way. So I have been sitting with this nagging terror that I had just fucked up in the worst way imaginable and I couldn’t say shit to anyone about it. Not even to you. And every passing day I got a little more fucking terrified that it was real. Terrified and also excited? In a really fucked up way, because I want what I know that I can’t have and what you clearly never fucking want.”
Levi opened his mouth, his eyes narrowing as he readied a response, but you were too far gone now to give him the opportunity.
“No. Shut the fuck up. You have said enough for now. You can’t wait a fucking second to hear what I have to say. I had to wait 3 damn weeks, going back and forth about how awful and how wonderful things could be, before I finally got my period and then I had to let that dream fucking die. Against my best judgement, against everything that I have ever known about myself and about this fucked up life we lead, I allowed myself a few weeks to dream about a normal, domestic life with you and I realized that there was nothing that I wanted more and even if deep down I knew that it could never happen, that didn’t fucking change how badly I wanted it to be possible. How attached I was growing to this idea of you and I being able to have our own family. To have our own lives not having to worry about the burden of carrying the fate of of humankind on our backs. And before you can even hear me out, or think to ask me how in the fuck I FEEL, you’re mad at ME?”
A spiteful laugh echoed between you two, Levi noticeably winced as you shook your head and rolled your eyes before meeting his gaze once more.
“Fuck you, Levi Ackerman. You might be humanity’s strongest solider, but you’re sure as shit not what I’d call boyfriend of the year.”
His eyebrows furrowed and his tone dropped to a nearly venomous whisper. It sounded like he was struggling to contain his emotions, and failing, as his face contorted into an obviously conflicted expression.
“So what in the hell makes you think I’d ever be father of the year, huh? Did you consider that in your little fantasy? Did you account for the fact that if you were pregnant, you’d have been putting yourself and that kid at risk if you went on the mission today? And when in the hell were you going to fill me in? Were you just gonna wait to fucking let me in on this little secret until you were too far along to change your mind?”
Silence.
That’s all that was left between you. You just stared at him, jaw agape as he looked down and furiously ran his hands through his hair, tugging at his raven locks as he spun around before slamming a closed fist against the wall.
“That’s not—I don’t mean that I—“
The sound of the door slamming behind you caused him to turned around and that’s when he saw that you were gone. He rushed after you, desperate to pull you into his arms and apologize and explain himself, but you had already turned the corner and Erwin was expeditiously headed his way.
“Levi, I need to speak with you about today’s expedition.”
A heavy sigh left his lungs as he propped the door open for Erwin to enter. His eyes lingered down the hall, hoping you would reappear, but to no avail.
//end flashback//
You and Levi had never fought before. Not over anything serious. Not over anything like that, certainly. He had never wanted to hurt you, but he broke your fucking heart and he knew it.
He knew that that was the last real interaction you had with him and it killed him inside. Not only had he managed to hurt the one person that he loved more than anything, more than life itself, but that was likely the last thing that he would ever get to say to you.
Because you were gone. Nowhere to be found. He’d flown into a rage when he initially realized that he couldn’t see you anymore. He never lost track of you in battle; he was always keeping an eye on you, even though you could handle yourself. He just wanted to make sure that nothing ever happened to you and now he’d failed at that too.
Now every last titan was dead. The city was quiet, save for the sound of his ODM gear and the thumping of his heart.
His chest physically ached and tightened as he continued to fly through the city streets, scanning for any sign that you might be nearby, and mercifully in one piece.
With each second, he could feel his hope shrinking and the terror in his soul feeding on the fear he felt with every passing moment that you weren’t within his sights.
He didn’t know how long he had searched or how many times he had inspected the same corpses, praying each one wasn’t yours, but eventually, he had to tell himself to go home. You weren’t here.
Titans had begun to reappear and he didn’t have the gas to engage in any more confrontations, so he forced himself to find his horse and turn back.
He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t make you happy. He couldn’t not hurt you. He couldn’t save you. He couldn’t even find you. He could never really say goodbye.
All he could do was replay that awful scene in his mind, over and over and over again.
How selfish he had been. How much pain was evident in your face when he spat those awful words at you.
He didn’t mean them, he was just scared and confused and now because of his own insecurity and thoughtlessness, you had suffered even more than you had ever needed to and he would never get the chance to try and make it up to you, if something that would have even been possible.
The ride back to base was a dizzying blur. Levi didn’t know what to feel by the time he got back. He didn’t think he could feel at all, actually. It felt like a void had opened up in his chest that was now sucking the air from his lungs and the light from his very soul. He felt broken beyond repair.
“Levi!”
He barely registered the sound of his own name being called and he certainly didn’t feel like interacting with anyone, so he kept walking.
“Levi, she’s here!”
What? Had I heard correctly? Did they mean??
He didn’t waste another second when he thought there was a possibility that he could see you again. His head snapped up to look at Hange, who was waving him toward her with a reassuring smile on her face.
Levi had never run so fast in his life. Within moments, he was at your side in the infirmary. His heart broke all over again at the sight of you laid in the bed, bloodied bandages covering most of your limbs and dark bruises peeking out from the places the bandages didn’t cover.
Tears were already falling from his eyes as he gingerly took your hand in his, pressing desperate, soft kisses along your palm.
“Y/n, baby, I’m so sorry. Oh my God, I thought I had lost you. I can’t believe you’re here. I’m so fucking sorry. I love you so much, baby, I love you so damn much.”
You cupped his face in your hand, smiling at him as tears fell from your own eyes.
“Levi, I—“
He carefully leaned over your bed, taking in the state of your body as he caressed your cheek with the back of his hand as delicately as he could.
“Don’t say that you love me.”
He interrupted your impending words as if he could actually read your mind. His fingers pushed into your hair, running through your tresses soothingly as he looked down at you with an sad, apologetic grin. Remorse was evident in his tone when he spoke again.
“I don’t deserve your love right now. I don’t think that I ever have, but I know that I don’t deserve it after how I treated you this morning. I’m so, so sorry, Y/n.”
His other hand delicately wiped the tears that were trailing down your cheeks, brushing his thumb across either side of your face carefully. You put your hand over his and pulled his hand to your lips, pressing gentle kisses along his palm as he had done to your own just moments ago.
“Levi, I do love you. I love you more than anything, even now. I’m so sorry that I didn’t come to you sooner abo—“
“Sshsshssh, baby, no. Don’t apologize to me for that. I was such a jackass this morning. I am so sorry that I didn’t even consider what you must have been going through. I-I-..when you—fuck.”
Levi’s eyes closed and he let out a long breath as he tried to compose himself. He wasn’t one to ever get flustered, so seeing him like this was a bit unusual.
“I didn’t know how to react and I picked the worst option possible. I didn’t mean the awful things that I said, Y/n. I didn’t mean a single one.”
His eyes were focused on you again, both of his hands taking yours as he sat down on the edge of the bed, smiling remorsefully down at you.
“I love you so much that it actually scares me. I try not to let myself think about it too much, because the thought of anything ever happening to you kills me. I searched for you for I don’t even know how long, because I just couldn’t accept that I might have lost you and thinking about the last thing that I said to you I couldn’t—“
Silence filled the room for a moment as Levi visibly struggled to choke back a sob and when he spoke again, his voiced cracked; the guilt he was clearly struggling with was evident in his tone as his voice dropped to a whisper.
“I couldn’t live with myself knowing that that was the last thing that you would have ever heard from me. I need you to know that that’s not how I feel. I would give anything to be able to have that life with you. I want nothing more than to be able to give you as many children as you’ll let me. I want a house full of brats running around, driving me insane.”
You smiled and stifled a soft giggle as more tears sprang from your eyes, happy ones this time. Levi chuckled along with you as he continued.
“I want you and I want to give you the world. But I want to give you a world that’s worthy of you. That’s what I wanted to say earlier, but I didn’t know how to put it into words; I still don’t, really. I was scared and I had a knee-jerk reaction and I will apologize to you until I can give you the life that you want; the life that you deserve.”
You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch as he brought a hand up to your cheeks again to wipe away the tears that were seemingly ever-flowing.
“Levi, I love you so much. I want that life with you, but I’m happy with just you.”
Your hand clasped over his as you spoke, before gently removing it from your cheek before you carefully began to sit upright in the bed, wincing only a little as you successfully did so, bringing your face just inches from his.
“I’m happy with whatever life I can have with you. I know this world isn’t fair; it’s downright cruel most of the time, but it’s still a world that I love, because you’re in it.”
His soft gaze fell to your lips as he leaned forward, capturing them in a passionate kiss as his hand cautiously held your waist. When you parted, he rested his forehead against yours and took your hand in his once more.
“I don’t deserve you. I love you so much, Y/n.”
You smiled softly as you soothed your thumb over the back of his hand.
“You deserve the world, Levi. And I love you too, so I’ll make sure you have it.”
How Dad!Levi would react to cadets crushing on your guys’ daughter
Request from @levisliteralbabbymamma: HEHHEHEHEHHEHE IM SOOO EXCITEDFDDDDNDNJH. sorry lmao. Can I get a dad Levi hc where he has a teenage daughter w/ the reader (fem) and they both have to deal with all the 104th boys who have a crush on herrrrr. Take your time love
Date: 5.15.21
Warnings: none
A/n: I couldn’t decide if y/n was a civilian or a squad leader, so I went with both also, it’s a little lengthy for HCs, sorry
—————
w/ civilian y/n
would absolutely avoid any and all contact with anything having to do with work anyway while he has time with you two
y'all would have a home somewhere within a reasonable distance from wherever Levi is based
he didn’t want either of you to be exposed to the military and the realities of what he had to do, if he could help it
but he would ride over on horseback as often as he could, spending whatever little free time he had away from training and his usual responsibilities that he could
but occasionally, you both would visit him and his squad
and on one particular weekend, when trainings were minimal, the families of the troops, who were able to, spent the weekend with their loved ones at the base
your daughter is about the same age as the 104th boys
and she may or may not have looked at Jean a liiiiittle too long
Jean was absolutely beet red too. Even his ears were practically glowing.
Eren and Connie also could not seem to suppress their initial reaction to meeting y’all’s daughter
The rest of them at least had the decency to avert their eyes and try to act cool
and Levi tried SO hard not to look like he did, but he noticed, ohhhh he noticed
and you noticed him noticing
bc he was NOT amused and you got lowkey highkey scared for these poor teenagers
The introductions were over QUICKLY
Jean extended his hand out and Levi swooped in with those Ackerman reflexes and just *BAP*
“You’ve been out in the dirt training all day. Wash your filthy hands before you extend one to my daughter.”
Jean is grateful he has not actually shit his pants and silently tries to manifest some sense of composure
Levi would excuse himself and point you and your daughter toward the mess hall, giving you a look that you immediately understand
Like hon, get our baby away from these disgusting heathens right this instant, please.
“Okay, hon, your dad’s gonna catch up with us at in a few, let’s go find Hange, huh?”
Would dismiss everyone but Eren, Jean, and Connie and tell them to make sure the place was absolutely spotless, since there was company
Levi stepped directly in front of Eren, his cold expression radiating absolute authority.
“Eren, have I made it perfectly clear how easily I would be able to kill you, even in Titan form, should the need arise?”
Jean and Connie look on in nervous terror as Eren nods genuinely, nearly trembling as he holds Levi’s looming stare.
“Y-yes, Captain.”
Levi’s attention turns towards Connie and then Jean, allowing his commanding glare to linger over the latter boy even longer than the first.
“Good. Now go clean your damn rooms.”
w/ squad leader y/n
For the timelines sake, your daughter was born to you while you and Levi lived in the underground
Both of you were recruited to join the scouts
Levi did not like it, but it’s not like he could exactly stop you
You brought your family to the surface and they helped you raise your daughter when the both of you had to serve simultaneously
Despite Levi’s numerous objections, your daughter joins the military too
Bc she’s just as stubborn as both her parents
He is NOT happy about it
But she’s an Ackerman and therefore, she kicks ass and skyrockets to the top of the 104th, holding her own against Mikasa
And alllll the boys take notice
And then your daughter one day seems to notice that some of the boys who have also noticed her are cute
It’s difficult for Levi to accept that his daughter is growing up
Allowing her to join the military was one thing, her acknowledging boys exist is another beast entirely
You thought he was furious about her joining the Scouts?? Oh, that was nothing.
He has always had a tendency to be a little bit over-involved. Not to the point of smothering, but bc of the way he grew up, he wanted to make it a point to be as involved as he could
Plus, after everything he’s been through, he absolutely could not handle losing you or your daughter
It would actually breakhim
So someone swooping in and just taking his little girl away from him?? Absolutely not. Nope. Not happening. Not as long as he can help it.
She constantly get embarrassed when he interrupts her talking one on one with any boy, but especially when he does it to Jean
He does not give a single shit. His instinct to protect her at all costs includes the cost of her getting annoyed with him
Bc Levi would want to spoil his kids and never have to say no to them or do something they don’t like, BUT
He would rather her roll her eyes and stomp off than see her get her heartbroken, be he knows the feeling
Albeit, in a different way, but he doesn’t want that pain for his baby girl
It seems like every night he’s got a new complaint about at least one of the boys. Bc obviously none of them are good enough for her and they should be more aware of that fact.
“Did you see that idiot today?”
Levi fumbled with the straps of his uniform, his face flustered with a clear expression of annoyance as he strode into your shared bedroom.
A mocking grin appeared on your face as you stood from the edge of the bed.
“Ye-“ grey eyes snapped to yours, the unamused look on his face was a telling sign that he knew where you were going with this. “Yes. I know his hearing works. He can hear Jaeger muttering something under his breath from a damn mile away. He’s certainly not deaf. So why does he feel the need to stand so damn close to y/d/n? Her ears work even better than his, I’m sure.”
Walking up behind him, you encircled him in your arms, pressing your face against his shoulder as you placed a gentle kiss on his neck and looked at him in the floor length mirror that held your shared reflection.
“Baby, I know you don’t want to hear this, but how old was I when you met me?
His eyes rolled so far back in his head that you briefly feared they might get stuck there. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand and laid the other on top of yours.
The fingers pinching his nose migrated to his temple, rubbing small circles there as he lowered the tone of his voice, speaking reminiscently.
"I guess you were 15 too, huh?”
Your arms gave him a delicate squeeze as your lips worked slowly to place more soothing kisses along his neck and shoulders.
“She’s growing up. We can’t stop that. We just have to trust her. We won’t lose her, babe. She will always be our daughter and nothing will change that.”
His eyes closed reluctantly as he clasped his other hand over your forearm, relaxing into your touch. Another weighty exhale came through his nostrils as he met your gaze in the mirror.
“I know. I just wish she could have always stayed my little girl.”
You both exchange sympathetic smiles as he breaks from your grasp to turn and pull you into a sweet embrace, placing a kiss on your temple as he holds you tight to him and you whisper your response.
Send whatever you got my way. Whether it be angsty, smutty, or fluffy. Super specific scenarios are cool too. As long as whatever it is can be feasibly written in drabble format, which for me, is 500-1k words.
Idk why I’m having such a hard time writing for Levi atm, but I’m hoping that busting out a few quick drabbles will break my writing block spell for him.
wc: 506|Levi Ackerman x Reader | warnings: none, sfw
a/n: hello everyone! It’s been a while since I posted anything here but this scenario has been in my mind since last night and I just had to write it out. I hope you enjoy♡︎
It was late as you sat in your office, replying to some emails as you had just launched your online candle business an hour ago. It still felt surreal that you were able to do this let alone with the support of Levi. He was the one who pushed you to chase after your goals and he had helped you in ways that were above and beyond.
A few minutes had passed when you decided to call it a night. You shut off everything and quietly made your way upstairs to Levi’s office; he had excused himself a few hours ago claiming he needed to catch up on some work.
wc: 506|Levi Ackerman x Reader | warnings: none, sfw
a/n: hello everyone! It’s been a while since I posted anything here but this scenario has been in my mind since last night and I just had to write it out. I hope you enjoy♡︎
It was late as you sat in your office, replying to some emails as you had just launched your online candle business an hour ago. It still felt surreal that you were able to do this let alone with the support of Levi. He was the one who pushed you to chase after your goals and he had helped you in ways that were above and beyond.
A few minutes had passed when you decided to call it a night. You shut off everything and quietly made your way upstairs to Levi’s office; he had excused himself a few hours ago claiming he needed to catch up on some work.
You slipped into his office and there he was, sitting at his beloved chair but his head was slightly drooped. Levi was asleep. His arms were crossed against his chest, the glare from his computer illuminating the otherwise dark room and highlighting his sharp features. You tiptoed closer to him, hoping to turn off the screen and maybe wrap him in one of the many blankets you’ve managed to keep stored here for nights like this.
You grabbed a thick blanket from the case you’ve hidden behind the door and placed it around his shoulders. Satisfied with how you wrapped it around him, you turned your attention to the computer.
On the screen was his email, and not wanting to snoop, you moved the mouse to hover over the exit button when one email in particular caught your eyes. You hesitated for a second before you clicked it open. It was an invoice for the online business you just launched an hour ago.
Levi had purchased one of every single candle you offered. You quietly shut everything off as your eyes grew hot with tears. You turned to look at him, slowly taking in his peaceful face, despite him frowning a bit. You placed your finger on the wrinkles in between his eyebrows, smoothing out the skin. Your touch managed to stir him but he didn’t wake. You leaned in closer, not being able to help yourself, and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. That woke him up.
His eyes were dazed as he looked up at you. “Did I fall asleep?”
You gave him a small nod and your hand moved to fix his disheveled hair.
“How did your first launch go?” He sat up straight, the blanket falling from his shoulders.
You cleared your throat. “It went well.”
He gave you one of his rare smiles. “I’m glad.” He stretched his neck and stood up. “Let’s get to bed.” He held out a hand for you and you gladly took it.
Before you left the office, you paused by the door, pulling on his hand. “Levi?”
He turned to look at you, his eyebrows raised in question.
“I love you.”
A rose tint adorned his cheek as he took in your sudden words. He pulled on your arm, dragging you closer to him, and wrapped his arms around you. “I love you more.”
wc: 506|Levi Ackerman x Reader | warnings: none, sfw
a/n: hello everyone! It’s been a while since I posted anything here but this scenario has been in my mind since last night and I just had to write it out. I hope you enjoy♡︎
It was late as you sat in your office, replying to some emails as you had just launched your online candle business an hour ago. It still felt surreal that you were able to do this let alone with the support of Levi. He was the one who pushed you to chase after your goals and he had helped you in ways that were above and beyond.
A few minutes had passed when you decided to call it a night. You shut off everything and quietly made your way upstairs to Levi’s office; he had excused himself a few hours ago claiming he needed to catch up on some work.
It’s excruciatingly slow, but the walls Levi had built so high begin to chip; each smile you send his way is another crack in the concrete. He should have built them better, sturdier, perhaps with metal? Though his efforts are in vain, he fights it tooth and nail.
The last four months have been brutal, Hange keeps pestering him to ask you out, Armin keeps trying to make advances- and worst of all: you don’t visit as often. He’s lucky to have you in his office once a week, compared to the everyday he’d gotten used to.
Levi hates change, truly.
He hated your visits the first few weeks, but he didn’t have the heart to kick you out, asyou were great at being quiet and filling out paperwork.
Now, the work seems intimidating, piled a mile high — not to add the silence, he’d gotten used to the sound of your pen on paper, the quiet yawns you’d fight back on exceptionally late nights, the clink of your tea cup that would make you wince everytime you sat it down; he could go on.
“Levi~,” Hange sang, cheerful as ever. “I’ve got good news- oh,” they took in his appearance: hair messy, darker eyebags than usual, deep frown etched onto his face, “Bad time…?”
He doesn’t remember them knocking or him saying come in, but he is too tired to bitch. “No, what do you need, four-eyes?” the nickname had become less degrading and more..affectionate overtime.
With a jump in their step, they plopped down in the wooden seat across from him, “I have good news, it’s about your little birdy, (y/n).” the mention of your name had him visibly perked up, Hange had to stifle a laugh. “Armin finally got the courage to ask her out, yeah?”
His face fell, there was no way in hell that little s- “hey, hey, Levi I haven’t even finished, let that poor pen go.”
Levi sat the pen down next to a document, a death certificate for a young scout named Henisey Lorpan, waiting to be signed, “I don’t care about my cadets love lives, Hange. If this is all you came to me for, then you are excused.”
His day was officially ruined, he wouldn’t be leaving his office for anything.
Hange smiled, shaking their head as they giggled, “Like I said, not done. She said no, she already has her eye on someone,” they paused, gauging the captain’s response before continuing. “Mhm, should’ve seen the poor kid, looked like a kicked puppy.”
Once again, Levi grumbled, “You’re dism-”
They cut him off, standing from the chair to leave, “Point is, I think she likes you, Levi.” The soft click of the door filled the room.
He picks the red pen up, signs his name onto the parchment and sets it aside.
______________________
There are two things Levi must learn. One: how to share, and two: how to swallow his pride.
It’s impossible, that’s how it feels, at least. Levi is losing his grip every passing day, watching other men flirt with you- god forbid they touch you.
Hange’s words repeat in his mind, they have never been one to lie to him, but how likely was it that you liked a man twice your age?
He does not have the upper hand and he hates it, almost as much as he hates the way you make him feel.
Levi would love to ignore the way your hands feel on his arm; soft and nothing like his, the way your eyes look up at him, all tired and sleepy- something he wishes to wake up to, forever.
You’ve been nothing but kind to him, determined to prove your worth and keep your spot on his squad. Though, the only way you’d leave is if a titan pried you from his cold, dead arms.
“Sorry I’m late, captain,” you rushed, balancing the tea in one hand and your books in the other. “Armin held me up, wanted to tell me about glow jellies- pretty cool, honestly.” a soft smile adorned your features, he could tell you had a soft spot for the kid.
He dismissed you, the corner of his lips upturning ever-so-slightly, “A simple apology would have sufficed, cadet.”
It was clock-work, you’d read a book on the sofa, occasionally you’d get up and help with paperwork if there was a ton, but otherwise you kept to yourself; just how Levi liked it.
Against better judgment, Levi cleared his throat, glancing your way, “Hange mentioned Armin asking you out,” the book in your hand fell, hitting you square in the face with a thud. “Not to be a cock block or anything, but if it interferes with yours or his performance, I will have to remove him from my squad, understood?”
He itched to hear what you would say, whether you would deny it or not.
“Levi,” your voice was sweet, dropping formalities with the captain due to peer shock. “Me and Armin..we aren’t- I don’t like him like that. He’s my best friend, I assure nothing is going on.”
A moment passed, you felt like you could die from embarrassment.
“Alright,” he studies you for a moment, stone eyes taking in your appearance; your clothes are messier than usual, but he nods, content with your answer.
______________________
Two more months go by, he knows he has to do something, to tell you and get it over with or this feeling will swallow him whole- that is if Hange doesn’t get to him first, he thinks.
If he wasn’t so sure they’d turn him into titan bait for their experiments, he’d think about letting them have their way.
Snow sets in, falling from the sky at a steady pace. You’re out there, making a snowman with Armin and Jean. The carrot has bite marks, no doubt from Sasha, but no one cares.
“Jean!” He hears you yell, you’re so close to his window. “You’re gonna…snow….doing that!”
Your voice is muffled, he can only catch snippets of your conversation.
Levi doesn’t notice Hange sitting across from him, he doesn’t notice them getting up and putting their hand on the curtain to pull it back, “Cute snowman,” they comment, watching as Levi startles at their -not so- sudden intrusion. “Kind of creepy that you’re listening to them.”
He frowns, not daring to peek behind him to see the snowman- or you, for the matter, “Get out,” but Hange doesn’t budge, instead they open the window and call out-
“Hey, cadets, cute snowman! Can you come to Levi’s office, Cadet (l/n)?”
Matchmaker Hange mode has been activated, Levi can see it in their eyes.
In your dreams, he is there- every time you close your eyes, he is there. Levi is neither dead nor a ghost, but he haunts you all the same. Whispered confessions filter through your ears; “I love you,” but love isn’t enough for the Ackerman to stay, he considers it a weakness and humanity’s strongest is not allowed to have a weakness.
So he leaves, the broken expression on his face apology enough, but you don’t want expressions, you want words- words that match his expression.
Humanity’s strongest is nothing but a coward, you’ve decided. Cowards run away, they don’t stick around to find out; cowards let society’s expectations suffocate them in its grip. Though, you admit, it is comforting: knowing what is expected of you. Levi knows what he is capable of, what he is supposed to be, one can not blame him for following through no matter how bad you want to.
‘Levi is not dead,’ you think. ‘But he haunts me.’
What he could have been- should have been, haunts you. Late night talks, hot chamomile tea in hand, ‘he could have been so much more than humanities greatest,’ but he never will. You can still feel his smile, the way his lips curved before placing a chaste kiss against your neck. Levi wanted more, at least that night under the cold sheets, he wanted more.
It takes a mere second for change to occur, perhaps those 20 seconds of silence after his confessions, when your hand raked through his hair and after you both burst into giggles, he decided he did not want that.
You no longer share a room, but you cannot help but wonder if he’s washed away your scent; if he has thrown away the half burned sandalwood candle you’d fought tooth and nail to keep and if your half of the bed would still mold to your body.
He is unforgettable and maybe it’s the memories shared that makes it seem that way, but Levi lingers. In the halls, in your bed, on your skin, on the very tips of your fingers; he lingers.
“It’s been how long?” Jean asks, sighing as he takes a seat beside you. “What will it take for you to get over him?”
‘Time’ you think, turning your attention towards him, “It will take time, Jean.” you’ve told him the same thing a million times before. “How long will it take you to get over Mikas-”
A hand is clamped over your mouth, he is giving you a death stare- one that says ‘shut the fuck up,’ so you shut the fuck up, but not without licking his hand.
He frowns, pulling his hand away rather slowly as he watches you. “That was disgusting,” Jean grumbles, wiping the hand on his shirt. “I can’t believe you just licked me- you don’t even know what I’ve done with this hand.”
Now you frown, he is right hand dominant and you think you’re going to be sick. “Yep, my day is even more ruined.”
“Woah, captain’s lookin’ at you,” Jean teases, nudging your shoulder. “Oh, he’s walking over her-”
Levi clears his throat, you wince. Moments pass, a word has yet to be spoken. One can hope he will walk away, again.
“Cadet (L/N),” he starts, eyes boring down at you. Levi is irritated, you can feel it. “My office after training, don’t be late."
You want to ask why, ‘why would you want me back there’, but instead you nod, "Yes captain” falling from your chapped lips.
The potato soup on your plate has gone cold, so you find Sasha and give it to her, you don’t have an appetite anyway- Levi took it with him, who knows if he’ll give it back.
Summary:“There are eight types of love, and even though his life has been full of pain since the very beginning, he could say he experienced them all.”
Genre: Angst and Fluff
Word count: + 5k
Author note:This is the first thing I’ve ever published and I’m really nervous, so I would really appreciate if you reblogged, liked and commented. Also, English is not my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes. Constructive criticism is really appreciated.
… .
1. AGAPE or Selfless love
His mother would tell him everyday that she loved him with everything she had, even though it was not a lot. He asked his mother what love was, what meant loving someone. She couldn’t explain it with exact words, she would tell him that love meant caring deeply for someone, even more than for yourself. She loved him and he loved her, that much was true. He asked if he could love more than one person, his mom told him that yes, you could love many people in your life and in different ways. Then, he proceeded to ask if she had ever loved anyone else besides him, she was quiet, like she was thinking the right answer and after a few minutes she said that she had or at least she thought she did, but she had never loved someone as much as she loved him. Love was a confusing thing for him and the more he asked, the more unclear it got.
The only thing he was sure of was that the only thing she loved was her mother. However, curious as he was, he would ask her questions about it all the time.
‘Is love the best thing in the world?’
‘Yes, Levi, it is the only thing that makes life worth it.’
‘Is love always good?’
‘Not always, sometimes it makes you sad.’
‘I don’t wanna be sad. I won’t love anyone else but you.’
‘You can’t choose who you love, sweetie.’
‘Love sucks.’
‘You will get it when you grow up.’
‘I’m already a grown-up.’
He tried to get it, but he couldn’t. He prided himself of being smart, his mom would always tell him that he was really clever and witty for his age. Then, how come he wasn’t able to understand love. It was just a four-letter word: L-O-V-E, it couldn’t have such a deep meaning. ‘Door’ had also four letters and it wasn’t hard to understand and ‘Scandalous’, pretty much the biggest word for him, had ten letters and he knew what it meant, he could even use it in a phrase.
His mom, noticing that he was about to collapse trying to figure out what has love, tried to come up with the best possible definition, one that would please his five-year old son.
‘Love is a selfless thing. Love means giving everything you have, to make the other person happy and content, even though you may not get back all you give. When you love someone, you only what the best for them. It can cause you pain too but loving someone and being loved back is one of the best things we can experience as humans. We may not have a lot, Levi, but we have each other and more important, we love one another and that makes us privileged.’
He understood it then, kind of, so the questions stopped.
/ ⨟ this is my first post, please bear with me! also i was high while making this so do not judge my sharpie-scent-high headcanons
⨟ shingeki no kyojin / attack on titian ; levi ackerman x reader
⨟ sfw, fluff ; semi-proofread, no caps ; cussing, secret relationship (at first) ; canonverse, season 1-3 levi, kinda ooc idk ; gn!reader who is not a scout, kinda implied reader is shorter than levi
⨟ 1.0k
• it starts out as a secret relationship between u, an ordinary citizen, and captain levi, humanities’ strongest. he wants it to be a secret due to his reputation and bc he doesnt want u in danger
• when he returns from expeditions, he is looking for u in the crowds the second he passes the area u live in. if he ever doesnt see u, he will get a little worried bc ur usually out there with a flower crown to give to him
• speaking of flower crowns, he loves when u give him flowers or flower crowns. he wouldnt wear them in front of anybody but u, but he will happily decorate his office or bedroom with the flowers
• everybody gets a bit suspicious when they catch levi leaving at midnight, but nobody was brave enough to actually follow him
• secret dates at midnight with him are such a dream. he will take u on walks, bring u on top of the wall so u can see the outside, and have small picnics with u while stargazing
• he is way better at hiding the relationship, just admit it. literally nobody finds out ab it on his end, but ur entire family and ur friends probably know by now. (he doesnt care tho, he trusts u when it comes to telling people)
