Here you will find all things Levi Ackerman! Every oneshot, request, and multi-chapter fic I write about humanity’s strongest soldier will be right here for you to see!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Hajime Isayama
Finally, we have arrived to the last work (7/7) of the Candy Heart Club! Levi Ackerman is our last boy up with the candy heart saying “I’m Yours”. Thank you so much for all of your support throughout this even, you guys are the best! Stay sweet and happy February!
Prompt:Candlelight dinners and moonlight strolls are something you and Levi do so rarely, you don’t even remember the last time either of you had the time to do something so peaceful and lovely. So, when Levi suggests to do both in the same evening? Something’s gotta be up.
A/N: Firstly, I would like to say I am so sorry that this is getting out so late. Some IRL stuff came up that I had to deal with, so that had to take my priority. Secondly, I would like to thank each and every one of you for consistently supporting me throughout this event! I had a lot of fun with these prompts and making fun stuff for Valentine’s Day and the month of February. And, lastly, thank you all so so much for 800! I really have so much fun writing these works and being a part of this fun community online and I look forward to many more things in the future. For now, I hope you enjoy this fic!
Word Count: 1.4K
Biting into the roll, you almost groan at the taste. After it was warmed and slathered with butter, a delacy within the Scout Regiment, it was practically the best thing you’ve ever tasted.
“Don’t choke on it,” Levi’s voice from across the table interrupted your chewing, an “are you kidding me” look present on his face.
“It’s so good,” you say, almost in awe of how it seemed to hug your taste buds, “how’d you get it?” Levi shook his head and smiled, passing you the second half of his roll towards you wordlessly. You looked up at him and down at the roll and then back to him. He confirms his intentions and you scoop the roll onto your plate.
“I just talked to a few people to find out where they were.” He says nonchalantly, his gaze fixated on the little candle burning on the small table you were seated at.
“What’d you tell them this time - you’ll make them trim every blade of grass with a pair of scissors, one by one?” You quip, sighing happily into the perfectly cooked meal all laid out before you. Levi’s hand settles gently atop yours, brushing your skin with his calloused thumb. Silence settles as the two of you eat, savoring the delectable food that only comes around once in a while. Even though the both of you were high ranking soldiers within the scout regiment, really good food was hard to come by. So, tonight, it was a gift - an expensive one.
“I don’t want you to rush, so just keep enjoying your dinner, but I was thinking we could take the horses out for a bit tonight.” Raising a brow and pronging another morsel onto your fork, you wave it around a bit, gesturing to him.
“What is all this? Candlelight dinner, a moonlight ride… it’s very romantic.” Rolling his eyes, he pinches your hand a bit.
“We’ve both been busy and we haven’t had time to do either in a while, so I figured we could just do both tonight.” You give him a grin as you pop the last bit of food, part of the roll that you had saved, into your mouth. You didn’t feel the need to mention that the two of you went out for a long walk the other night, soaking up the fresh air and the presence of each other just two weeks ago.
“Okay then,” you say, swallowing the last bit of food. If Levi wanted to be romantic and gentlemanly and sweet, you weren’t going to stop him. It’s not a side of him you get to see often. To you, he was like a street cat that had to be slowly tamed. You knew he had a much more vulnerable center but the shell he kept around himself was scrappy and protective. But, with enough trust, that little cat would roll onto its back and expose its soft underbelly, longing for affection. Swallowing the last of your food, you flip your hand so that it rests now completely in his palm. You tug him up from his seat a bit and the two of you walk down the quiet corridor of the unofficial scout HQ, finding your way towards the stables.
Brushing your horse’s mane was something so subtly calming that you found yourself unraveling every strand for hours. Thus, your dapple gray horse was always in peak condition - its ivory and taupe mane and tail always flowing and a very happy animal that would take you anywhere you wanted to go.
“That animal is spoiled.” Whipping around from where you were situating your saddle to the man who was already seated atop his black horse, there was Levi.
“She is not spoiled, she just looks pristine. As opposed to yours, even though I brush him from time to time. I told you that you needed to be more consistent with his care or else he’ll buck you off.” Levi exhales out of his nose a little harshly, hard enough that you could hear it, and he pats his horse on the neck.
“Hurry up, we’re losing moonlight.” He says, drawling a bit on the last word. Your laugh, which sounded like a short snort, came out of your mouth as you buckle the girth of the saddle, situate your foot in one of the stirrups, and hoist yourself up and onto your mare.
“Yeah, yeah, let’s get going. You lead the way, since you’re so eager to get out there.” Levi turns his horse around a bit and taps it with his heels, encouraging the black stallion into a steady trot. You fall in place beside him easily.
The ride was lovely, the warm summer air wrapping around you like a hug. There were fireflies, their lights flickering on and off, dotting yours and Levi’s way as he led you deeper through the plains and into the woods.
“Levi, where are we going? We’ve kinda strayed off course from the regular riding path,” you ask, both of your horses now at a languid walking pace. His chiseled face maintained a steady gaze forward.
“Let it be a surprise, will you?” He huffs, a quiver of a smile flitting across his lips. A similar one spreads across your face as you twist your horse’s mane in between your fingers alongside the reins.
“Okay, Levi Ackerman. Surprise me.” Finally, he looks at you. He guides his horse closer to you and pulls your arm, giving you a quick kiss.
“You’re a smartass. Now, hop on behind me and I’ll guide your horse there. Close your eyes, and don’t peek.” Giggling, like you’re twelve years old, you hop onto your hot boyfriend’s horse and wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek into his back. Oh if little you could see you now. You could almost feel him roll his eyes, but he shakes a bit as a chuckle reverberates through him. You two stay like this for a couple more minutes until, finally, you feel the both of you pause.
“Okay, can I open?” You ask, eager to see what Levi has tried keeping a secret for the entire evening.
“Yeah,” he says, dismounting and holding your hand, helping you off while still keeping your eyes closed. “You can open ‘em.” As your Y/E/C eyes flutter open, you have to inhale a huge breath because of the scene around you. Like it was plucked out of an award winning painting, an enchanting setting fell across your view. A pond full of lily pads and a grove of willow trees, the most gorgeous field of flowers befell you. It was like the petals were born from the starry sky, the color pulled from the very moon beams that nurtured it. It was such beauty, such calmness that you didn’t think you could ever find in nature, in this world. Slowly, you sink into the beds of flowers and draw your hands over them, marveling at both their strength and delicacy.
“Levi, I… I don’t even know the words to describe this place.” Overwhelming your senses, you feel the tears in your eyes well. For the first time, you think in your entire life, happy tears start trickling down your face. Wordlessly, he cups your face with both of his hands and stares into your eyes, his own dull gray capturing every speck of color in yours.
“Y/N, I know I’m not easy to love. I never have been, and I don’t know if I ever will be. But I know that I love you, and dammit, I want you to love me.”
“I do love you-”
“Just let me finish.” And you do. “I want you to love me for the rest of your lives. And I know that I will love you. So, just…” Levi pauses, a little lost for words. “I’m yours - completely yours, if you’ll be mine.” It’s not a storybook proposal by any means. There’s no ring, no promise of a wedding, no ‘will you marry me’. But you know what this means, and it means more than any of those things could.
“I’m yours,” you promise, kissing him and wrapping your arms around his neck. “I am yours.”
Event Taglist:
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DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Hajime Isayama
Welcome to the fourth of seven works of the Candy Heart Club! Fourth up is Levi Ackerman with the candy heart saying “One and Only”. Let me know if you’d like to be added to the event taglist, and as always, the event masterlist is linked right above! Stay sweet and happy February!
Prompt:Humanity’s strongest soldier never thought about settling down with anyone - but when he sees you? He can’t stop wondering about what a life with you might look like.
A/N: Hi guys! Here is the fourth part of the Valentine’s Day event! Another fic should be up later tonight, so be on the lookout for that. But yay! Levi! Our fav captain! I hope you all enjoy <3
Word Count: 1.4K
Considering he was a man with a constant struggle against insomnia, Levi Ackerman didn’t rest much. While he was always willing to lay down with you for a bit until you drift off to sleep, but after he was sure you were deep in dreamland, he’d carefully let you go and move his arms - leaving you on the bed curled up under covers and allowing him to tiptoe out of your shared room and into his office directly adjacent to it. But while his physical self strayed a bit farther from you, his mind surely did not. In fact, when he wasn’t flying in the air with blades unsheathed, his eyes set dead on the nape of the titan in front of him, his thoughts only seemed to be of you.
It was odd, he used to think, that you had chosen him of all people to be interested in. He didn’t fit the bill of primary requirements that women might want; sure he was athletic, built, and had a pretty face - but he was also short, working most of the time, and harsh. You liked to joke that you didn’t choose and that you were just stuck with him through some twist of fate, but every time before the two of you would leave for a mission, you’d leave him with the same words: “I’d always choose you.” And he, without hesitation, would always choose you too.
You were a clear leader amongst your colleagues and the scouts, but held an understanding that Levi lacked. You were able to note the relationships between the cadets and what made them tick, you knew what meal day tended to be their favorite, but most importantly, you knew him.
Levi was a difficult person to understand. Buried deep under layers and layers of hard cold exterior was a most vulnerable and sensitive human being. The memories of his mother, his first two friends, and his squad were pushed down so he didn’t have to relive it every thirty seconds. And you knew all of it. You knew that when he tipped his head down a bit, just so that his hair covered his eyes, it would be so that no one could see the tears threatening to spill from them. You knew when he wanted a hug, he needed one. You know he loves you.
It was another one of those nights where sleep couldn’t grace him. He was left to stare at the ceiling while you buried your face into the crook of his neck. Your breathing tickled the skin there and it blew back the tips of his hair just a little bit, but he didn’t mind. Not one bit. In fact, tonight, he held on a bit tighter to you instead of slipping away to make a dent in his ever growing pile of paperwork. He turned his head just a bit to look at you. Your face was clear of the stress and worry lines that held purchase on your skin during the day. Your eyes weren’t scrunched in frustration or confusion at the new squad formation blueprints. You looked so peaceful, it almost made Levi want to cry.
This was how he wanted you to be every day. Not in the sense of you shouldn’t be a part of the survey corps - he knew you would never be happy sitting around in a house while there was something you could be doing to help the cause. He wanted the titans to be gone and for the two of you to live in a little cottage in the countryside, where the only thing you would hear in the mornings would be the bluebirds singing and the little stream in your yard rushing. He wants to see you smiling as the two of you read in chairs outside, rocking back and forth on your front porch. And then when he looks down at your hands and sees the rings on both your fingers- woah.
“Where the hell did that come from.” He thinks aloud, whispering the words. He looks back to the ceiling, then glances at you again. Marriage was something that was always on his no-no list. Too big of a commitment in the world he was currently living in. Just the notion of what the ring brought along with it made him nervous and unsteady. He despised the thought of finding a severed hand with a ring on it even more. So why was he thinking about it? Finally, he resumed his usual nightly routine. He unwound his arms from you, making sure you were still sound and asleep, lightly snoring against your pillow, and then he made his way out of the room and towards his desk.
He all but collapsed into his office chair, blowing out air from his puffed cheeks as he retraced his mental steps. Obviously, he loves you. He would be a fool to try and think otherwise. But where did that urge for that sort of future come from? It’d be ideal for both of you to make it alive and out of this hell the two of you were privy to. But marriage? Dressing up and having a little ceremony, him in his best clothes and you in a sweet white dress with a little bouquet of flowers in your hand. It was all so domestic, so carefree. Not at all feeling like there was an invisible time limit on it all. No sand from an hourglass falling, no time on a watch ticking.
Levi’s eyes darted around his desk. Papers were stacked in tidy piles, pens lined up neatly along the left side. He pulled open all his drawers except for the big one at the bottom, leaving that one completely alone. There wasn’t much to be seen within them - a magnifying glass and loose leaf paper being some of the only things in it. Then, he finds it. One of the two things he kept from his mother. The first was folded nicely atop a stack of fresh clothes tomorrow, the ivory white cravat that was cut from the cloth of his mother’s dress. And now, in his hands, was the second. It was simple, not nearly polished enough, and without any kind of stone or adornments welded on to it. The little ring that his mother had worn on a necklace ever since he was a baby. If he could imagine it hard enough, he could remember trying to grab on to it as a toddler and twisting it between his little fingers. He played with it in his palm, now. Letting it roll around and settle into his palm, leaving faint tracks of dust all over it. Rubbing at it a little with the handkerchief relieved it of some of the grime, leaving a matte, but nice, looking ring.
Levi stood, a clean ring in his hand and a view of you sleeping in his eyes. He took a deep breath and stepped towards you, moving without any desire to shove the small piece of jewelry back into the depths of his desk. You’re still sleeping and don’t even stir when he climbs back into bed and blows out the candle, carefully peeling back and then covering himself in the blankets you were tucked into. Like a puzzle piece, he maneuvers himself so that he’s back to where he was before with your head in the crook of his neck and your left hand played across his chest. But now, instead of trying to find a way to sleep, he gently lifted your hand. With a shuddering breath, he plucks the ring from his hand and begins to slide it slowly onto your ring finger. It fits perfectly. And then, like a butterfly, he holds your hand in his - and a smile crosses his face. A silent, sappy smile that he would be shocked to find on himself if he looked into a mirror. But looking at what he wanted his future to be in the flesh was overwhelming to him in the best way possible.
Of course, though, you had to stir awake. Blinking the sleep away from your eyes slowly, you register something on your hand that wasn’t there before.
“Did you put a ring on my finger?” You mumble, wiggling your left ring finger and looking at the man whose arms you were in.
“Yeah.” He says simply, looking down at you now with a neutral expression.
“Hmm,” you hum, closing your eyes and snuggling in closer to him. “Okay.” With that, he closes his eyes too and, like a miracle, Levi finds sleep that night. Tucked into bed, no thoughts of the dangers ahead, and with you. His one and only.
Event Taglist:
❤ Message or comment to be added to the Candy Hearts Club taglist! ❤
Welcome to the Candy Hearts Club where the candies are sweet and the boys are sweeter! Here you will find seven works inspired by the sayings on candy hearts, all leading up to the loveliest of all days, Valentine’s Day! Be on the lookout for when they appear and let me know if you’d like to be tagged to be notified when they get posted! Like a box of chocolates, there will be something for everyone to pick and choose from - and if not - you can always leave a little note asking for another! Stay sweet!
Everything he does is just so sweet. Whether it’s holding your hand on the way back to Heights Alliance or leaving you flowers. You notice a little something that’s missing - that passion to melt your heart.
Katsuki Bakugo loves you, he knows he does, but just why is he having trouble saying it? No matter how many times the two of you are alone and the scene is just right, he gets too in his head and can’t say it. So, what else can he do?
Shinso doesn’t do overly lovey-dovey stuff. He’s not a ‘show up at your door with a bouquet of flowers and a heart box full of chocolate’ type of guy. But now he has you, and well… he’s just a little more romantic nowadays.
Humanity’s strongest soldier never thought about settling down with anyone - but when he sees you? He can’t stop wondering about what a life with you might look like.
Shoto Todoroki is all cool and collected until you come into the picture. Now his stomach flips when you give him a smile and he feels his cheeks flush when you give him a high five after training. It’s official - he’s got the bug.
The little notes slipped onto your desk by a secret admirer have you hiding your smile and twirling your hair. Just who is writing his way into your heart?
Candlelight dinners and moonlight strolls are something you and Levi do so rarely, you don’t even remember the last time either of you had the time to do something so peaceful and lovely. So, when Levi suggests to do both in the same evening? Something’s gotta be up.
Taglist:
❤Message or comment to be added to the Candy Hearts Club taglist! ❤
Levi Ackerman 2022 Masterlist Only for 18 + audiences // ♡ fluff // ☆ smut // !!! angst
Oneshots:
!!! / ☆ Comfort Sex // 1700 words All he wants is for you to feel all better. All you want is for him to be the one to do it.
♡Tiring Day // 800 words Priority Request. The calm in your storm, your husband, your Levi.
!!!Crutches // 800 words Priority Request. Your father is hospitalized, Levi guides you through this uncertain future.
☆Back and Forth // 1000 words Agreeing to disagree. Seeing things differently. A surefire way to win an argument.
☆Finished // 1900 words Leaving your final exam, Levi always insisted it would be the best feeling in the world. When he exits his though, with a frown on his face, you take his matters into your own hands.
!!!“Do You Know Them?” // 1100 words When you saw each other again, but with another at your side.
!!!Leaving Home. Coming Home. // 900 words Removing you from your toxic home, bringing you safe and sound to his.
☆Choking Him // 700 words Calm, composed, complete control - characteristics that coat Levi Ackerman are stripped off by your hand.
!!!Unexpected Understandings // 1400 words No one knows what tomorrow brings, make the most of tonight.
!!!Three More Words // 700 words Levi has gifted you everything, at the end, you dare to ask for just a little more.
Word count: 600 Tags: levi x reader, fluff, pregnancy, food mention, dadvi, modern AU
Levi had never been one for shopping. You had never been one for crowds. Walking into a department store seized by the holiday’s hoard should have been your worst nightmare, but now, you two were expecting - expecting the one thing that would change you both forever.
Even though your bump was still growing, even though the emergency room visit was months away, it seemed that change was starting already. It began with this Mother’s Day routine. Instead of calling home first thing in the morning, pregnancy fatigue kept you asleep until 10. Instead of getting flowers sent to his mother, Levi took to the kitchen and started whipping up breakfast. Returning to your room with the hot meal in hand, hearing your contented snores on the other side of the door, Levi knit his brows and contemplated. Was it worth waking you up? In a few years and after a few kids, your husband would know better than to wake his sleeping wife, but even the insomniac had yet to know true tire, and deemed his surprise present worth it.
Beneath his hip, your ironed sheets crunched. Beside yours, the tray table’s legs stood. Eyelashes batting, a wide yawn, as you came to - Levi gave a one-sided smile and placed his hand on your shoulder, his voice still husky, “Good morning, sleepyhead.”
Blurry eyes came into focus, landing upon your slate of goodies. Blueberry pancakes, maple syrup, homemade whipped cream, ginger tea for the chance of morning sickness - and at last - his black card, reflecting near white in the sunlight.
To your look of confusion, Levi offered a solid stare and a sturdy back rub, “Enjoy your breakfast, and when you decide you’re ready, we’ll buy the brat a nursery.”
// // //
He had downed a pot of coffee, you were on your sugar rush, parental hormones were kicking in - perhaps that was what drove you two to gallop down the aisles and grab the products like candy. Or maybe it was simply that the rumors were true: you were just that excited to become parents.
A rattle they would shake at all hours of the night, a play piano with unadjustable volume and irremovable batteries, the doll that would startle Levi a hilarious amount of times, you threw them all in the cart and swiped his credit card just as hastily. Anythingfor your little one.
Noisy toys filled their playchest, making tonight’s sleep was one of the last peaceful ones you had left. Though you had gone to bed, for Levi, Mother’s Day was not over. While you lie sound asleep, he was hard at work. Assembling the crib, hanging the artwork, moving the furniture into place, colorful words filled the air - ones he will not be allowed to say once the baby arrives. Despite his swears, you remained asleep - Levi chalks it up to that pregnancy exhaustion.
When 3 AM rolls around - hammer in hand, toolbox awry, still not even halfway done - Levi makes a promise to himself, never to do this again. But come the next Mother’s Day and all the ones after that, he finds himself in a tradition of construction. Above your headboard, Levi and your children will work together to make a mural. Year after year, kid after kid, baby to toddler to teenager, a custom frame of their handmade artwork. And on the edges of that square, the artists’ signature and an engraved carving:
Word count: 1200 Tags: levi x reader, smut, alcohol mention, breeding kink, mommy kink, lactation mention, fem!reader
Silent but spoken, a specialty to the standard routine - such was tonight’s feeling. Stepping through your front door and kicking off your shoes. You chopped the vegetables, Levi sauteed them. Over candlelight and wine, you exchanged your typical small talk, but though the words were few, so much was understood. Namely, the common thought: we would make good parents.
That sentiment hovered like a cloud, one that provides just enough shade but still keeps you warm on a May Mother’s Day. You showered, Levi brushed his teeth, and in bed, you stripped yourselves free of hot summer clothes.
In a swift motion, Levi rolled from beside you to on top of you. Hands clutched the bedsheets at both sides of your head, strong shoulders kept him perched above you. Gazing down to you, his husky voice hushed, “I want you.” But instead of the usual sultry moves that followed - a bite on the ear, lovemarks on your neck - he pinched your chin and tugged your lips to his, speaking against them, “I want you to be the mother of my children.”
Before today, his speech would have shocked you speechless. But since your practice parenting - helping that lost kid this afternoon - you had noticed changes in your husband that told you exactly what was on his mind. Your healthy womb would house them to health. Your gentle hands would squish their cheeks. Your warm smile would dry their tears. You were perfectly patient and had flawless judgment, the ideal role model for right and wrong. He could think of no better parent, no other person worthy of his seed.
In that mere sliver of moonlight, you could not only see but could decipher the look on his face. In your courtship, in your marriage, it was an expression you had never seen, one he had never donned. Knit brows conveyed his seriousness, clenched jaw signaled his determination. At the same time, his fervent desires were softened by that light-pink blush and anxious stare. So capable. So adorable.
Your fingernail traced his figure, “Levi,” abdomen to chest, chest to neck, neck to lips, up until your eyes landed on his, “breed me.”
Oh, how you had no idea… how deeply he took your words to heart. Twinkling stars shined in his eyes, nearly brimming with tears. He had never imagined that he would become a father, but like all other impossibilities he saw in his life, you had dismantled his greatest obstacles. For Levi Ackerman, it was a life of many. Tender hand tucked your hair behind your ear, loving lips poured praise into it, “I’m the luckiest bastard on earth, you know that?”
It was a sweet moment, But oh, how clueless you were… into the feral fucking that followed.
// // //
Laying with Levi always left you fulfilled yet depleted. A pleasure that raised you to the highest of highs, the result of stimulation that had you drenched and gasping. All the nights you had spent, he acted with one purpose: to make you feel good, to make you cum hard, and run it back as many times as you could stand. Tonight, though, held a difference. A new drive commanded his movements, one that so happened to drain you more than ever, pleasing you in a way nothing since had.
His mouth propped between your legs, fingers spread you wide, tongue thrust deep, making you nice and wet for the upcoming penetration. Levi’s hips rutted into the mattress, “Fuck!”He could feel it already - how far he would slide into you, how entirely he would fill you - all with slickened ease.
Not only his saliva, but your arousal - their mix the perfect lubricant. Swallowing his seed up to your cervix, your cream would secure it there until that missed period, until that pregnancy test read positive. You could not wait until that moment, and every second that he ate you out was one more added.
Levi was not the only one who had gone animalistic. With an innate strength, you thrust your hand in his hair and curled your fingernails against his scalp. A selfish yank of his tangles brought his face to your chest. Heels placed heavily on his shoulders brought your entrance to his tip - both glistening with overflow. In a year, you would be singing nursery rhymes, but that pitch was nothing like the serenade you sung now, “My cunt is waiting.”
Tendons rose in his neck, a bright crimson flush. A bite on your breast simultaneous with his sheathe inside. Your breathless gasp, he growled over it, “Mommy can’t wait, huh?” A satisfied snicker, Levi nearly rolled his eyes, “So needy…”
In the throes of his deep, penetrating pumps, you did not even try to deny it. Instead, you doubled down. Arching your back, you met his face with your cleavage, “S-Suck them…”
Your every command - his mantra. What a multitasker you married. The acute angle of his hips maintained, your deepest depths reached, all while his teeth sandwiched your curves and tongue swirled over your nipple. His jaw sucked its oscillating rhythm. But as you rolled your head back, your sigh of bliss was cut off by a horrifying thought: if you started producing, would he stop this?
At a time less riling, you may have bit your tongue, but with your concentration so seized by his sensation, you could not stop yourself from the search for reassurance. Palm met his undercut, thumb rubbed his cheek, garnering his attention.
“If you do me right,” light pants interrupted your speech - you cupped your breast in your hand, feeling your heart pound against it, and gave a jostle, “these will be filled with milk soon.”
Levi’s eyes narrowed, pupils dilated. Biting his lip, attempting to repress himself, his erection surged regardless. He hoped you would not notice. Funny,he was making babies with you, but his lactation kink still remained a secret - his deepest darkest one. Shit,how you were testing him now: physically nearing climax, mentally embarrassed to hell. Levi swallowed, responding the best he knew how, “You think I haven’t thought of that?”
A nervous smile, you pressed further, “You gonna keep this up - when that time comes?”
Levi nestled himself further into your breast and grinned against your skin. “Come on, sweetheart…” teasing eyes and mocking voice, “think a little more of me, will you?”
Added to your sweltering heat, stinging nerves, tidaling waves - a blanket of calm. Your insecurities washed away - Levi always their cleanser. No one else would you trust to father your children, no one else’s cum would you cherish like this, no one else you would rather feed your breastmilk to.
Little did you know, he felt the same about drinking it. He could only imagine how good you would taste. You would have never imagined how much he would love it.
Request from anon: Hey there! I recently found your blog and i love the content <3. May I request a fluffy scenario or hc, (in canon AU) where levi overhears the reader talking to hange about how much she loves him please?
Genre: fluff
Warnings: none
A/n: I loved this request! Thank you for sending it in & I hope you enjoy
—————
Levi moved silently down the hall, not wanting to disturb anyone as a result of his own inability to sleep. If he couldn’t get some rest, he figured a cup of tea would suffice. His restless legs carried him into the kitchen where he set to work preparing his beverage. He’d just set his kettle down to boil when he heard a familiar voice carrying in from the mess hall just on the other side of the door.
Levi felt his chest tighten. A anxious pit had opened up in his stomach, an almost foreign emotion to the famously level-headed captain, as his mind took off running with scenario after scenario of what you could possibly be concerned about.
“I sound stupid, right? You can tell me to shut up, honestly,” you pulled out the chair across from Hange, who was seated at the a table in the empty mess. “I just didn’t know who else I could talk to about this.”
“Have you considered talking to him about it?” The brunette cocked an eyebrow as she leaned forward, crossing her arms atop the wood of the table. “I mean, you’re gonna tell him, right?”
“How? I wouldn’t even know how to start that conversation,” the trepidation in your voice didn’t go unheard by either pair of ears that they fell on. “What if he doesn’t take it well?”
Who was the ‘he’ that Hange was referring to? Was it him? What could you possibly not want to talk to him about?
The pit grew deeper, bubbling up ideas that he didn’t want to give any attention to, but they were practically screaming at him. Each insecurity that he had locked up so tight was now climbing out of it’s hiding place and he swore he could feel the claws of every last one of them swiping at his insides.
His world was shaking, threatened by a foe that wasn’t even confirmed to have exist. The sheer thought of anything coming between you and him was enough to turn him into this mess of himself that he refused to recognize.
He took a deep breath, steeling his nerves to quell the thumping pulse in his ears, so that he could press one to the door and listen. His eyes closed in a soundless prayer, hoping that whatever he heard through the barrier wouldn’t knock the air from his lungs. Finally grounding himself, his focus returned just in time to realize that he had missed whatever the spectacled woman had just said.
“Just tell him that I love him?” You shook your head, unaware that you had indirectly just confessed your affections to the man in question. “I wouldn’t even know how to go about it.”
You sighed, leaning back in your chair as you folded your arms over your chest. Meanwhile, just in the other room, Levi’s heart had risen from the sunken pit in his stomach to take root in it’s rightful place as a warm, welcome feeling spread throughout his chest. His breath was trapped in his throat, caught there upon hearing your admission as he didn’t want to let a gasp slip out, lest he alert you to his presence.
“I mean, he’s just so..perfect,” your thoughtful expression was trained on the table as you let your thoughts flow freely. “He’s obviously out of my league, physically. Both in skill and appearance. He seems so intimidating, but really he’s just so soft beneath all those layers of sarcasm and indifference that he puts up for everyone. I know he may not seem like it, but he really does have a way with words. He always seems to know just what to say somehow. Ugh, and he’s so attentive. I honestly feel bad sometimes, because he’s still so mysterious even to me sometimes and then he’s already mastered this way of knowing exactly what I need before I even realize it. I love him so much that it’s actually starting to scare me, you know? I just don’t want to scare him off because of it.”
Hange smiled softly as she placed both of her palms flat on the table. Her lips parted to convey her response, but both of you were suddenly put on alert by a high-pitched whistling that was coming from the kitchen. You furrowed your brow as you stood, making your way to the door while Hange came up behind you.
“Hello? Someone in here?” You called out as your fingertips pressed against the door.
Levi jumped back when he heard your boots click just on the other side of the wood that still separated you, muttering curses as he hurriedly tended to the now boiling kettle of water.
“Levi?” Your eyes shot open as they fell upon his frame and a sudden realization of just how surprisingly thin the castle’s walls were hit you. “What’re you doing here?”
“Killing titans, what’s it look like?” His lips shifted into a soft smirk as he stared back at you.
From her place behind you, still in the mess hall, Hange’s eyebrows raised, an excited grin replacing her previous expression of concern.
“Well, would you look at that? If shorty’s up, it must be past my bedtime,” she spun on her heel, waving one hand up to signify her departure. “Good night, you two.”
You glanced over your shoulder to watch her leave through the far entrance of the mess hall that you had arrived through together and then turned your attention back to Levi, who unbeknownst to you was just as nervous as you were.
“Did you, uh,” you stepped completely into the kitchen, keeping a short distance between you as your eyes fell to the floor. “Did you hear any of our conversation?”
“Why? Is there something that you were afraid I’d hear?” He finished pouring the water into his tea cup and set it aside as he leaned back against the countertop. “Were you and four eyes gossiping about me?”
“No!” You put your hands up in front of you, shaking your head as you looked back at him. His expression was softer than you thought it would be, but it didn’t do much to silence the nerves of yours that were called to attention. “I mean, no I would neve—“
“Never talk about me behind my back?” His eyes glinted with a playful edge as he stepped toward you, his arms reaching out to catch you around your waist, pulling you close to him. “Because from what I did hear, I would consider that to be a blatant lie, brat.”
You wanted to disappear, to slip away and out of his arms, so that you could run and hide from the impending embarrassment that was about to rain down on you. Shrinking away as best you could within his grasp, your eyes found anywhere else to look but upon his face as he watched in bemusement for just a moment, not wanting to torture you any further. His voice was soft as a feather when he spoke again, your chin captured between his thumb and forefinger as he directed your eyes to his own.
“I love you too, you know.”
It felt like your heart had stopped, too overloaded with the feeling of joy that his words brought you, until it began thumping again so loudly that you were afraid you might scare him away from you. Your hands moved to the space between his neck and shoulders as you searched his kind, grey eyes, looking for confirmation that this was real and not some cruel dream that you were having.
That confirmation came by the way that he smiled when he cupped your face so delicately in his hand, his thumb brushing over your cheek as he studied your features with a look that you thought only existed in the books you read. One so full of love and adoration that it shone through someone. Telltale signs of their pleasant affliction present on their lips and rooted deep behind their gentle eyes. You tried in vain to pause time, wishing that you could just stay here forever with him as his lips met yours.
You had shared too many kisses to keep count of, but this one was different. This one felt permanent. It felt like a quiet promise that was shared only between lovers. A kiss that some people wait a lifetime for and that some people are never able to find. And here you were, sharing in this sweet, silent promise with Levi. Sharing a kiss that felt like forever.
“I love you, Y/n,” his left arm wrapped around you, holding you close to him as his right still held your face, his eyes unable to leave your own.
“I love you too, Levi,” you watched his lips turn up in the most genuine smile that you had ever seen them form as you returned his expression, leaning into him to capture his lips, tasting another glimpse of forever.
Request from Anon: Heyo! If its okay can I request a scenario where the reader has a fight with Levi and then gets hurt while on a mission and thinks he lost you. And Levi regrets what he said as the last thing that happened was the argument. Basically lots of fluff and Angst! c:
Warnings: Blood, traumatic injuries, mentions of loss/death, pregnancy, angst, allusion to abortion
Word count: 4.1k
A/n: Holy FUCK I am so sorry that it took so long, but here ya go! Also, I hadn’t written angst in so damn long, so fingers crossed this is at least half-decent. I promise there’s plenty of fluffiness at the end! Thank you for the request
————————————
Fuck. No. No, no, no, no, no.Where the fuck is she?
Levi desperately scanned the city streets, soaring between buildings faster than he had ever managed to travel before.
Everyone else had already retreated. The mission to scout within this section of Wall Maria was an absolute disaster from the get-go. There were far too many titans, dozens more than past expeditions would have led anyone to believe, and most of the new recruits had paid the insurmountable price of the regiment underestimating this excursion with their lives.
It was a dark day for the Scouts, but it was an even darker day for one in particular.
Levi had seen you not ten minutes ago, catapulting through the air and claiming the napes of countless titans. You both knew that if any more lives were to be spared, you’d both have to fight with everything that you had to give the others who still could flee a chance at returning home in one piece.
He was humanity’s strongest, it was his duty to throw himself into battle to protect others. You were a fiercely skilled soldier, your kill rate: second only to Levi’s. If there was to be a chance for everyone else, it rested on both of your shoulders.
But now that burden was crushing him. Pulling the air from his lungs faster than he could inhale. Cracking his sternum under the immense pressure; threatening to pierce his very heart with the shards of what crumbled within him.
The others had gotten away; no further lives were lost. He should be relieved, but instead he feels regret.
Regret that he didn’t take all those titans on himself.
Regret that he lost track of you in the commotion.
Regret that he couldn’t find you now.
Regret that he couldn’t hear your response when he cried out to you.
But most of all he felt regret for what he had said when you last spoke.
//Earlier that morning//
You had been standing outside Levi’s room for a few minutes too long, drawing curious stares as people passed down the hall, no doubt wondering why you, who were normally so composed, looked like such a mess.
A quick, shallow inhale was the last burst of self-assurance you could offer yourself before you landed an urgent knock on his door.
“Levi, can I talk to you for a minute?”
The fragile quality of your voice matched the urgent tone of your approach and before you could have any second thoughts, the door swung open.
“Good morning to you too, brat.”
The handsome, playful smirk that you had come to love so much greeted you as you carried yourself through the door, promptly shutting it behind you as you pushed your way past Levi.
Another, deeper breath in and you were searching for the nerve to initiate the conversation that you never thought that you would have with this man, this absolute specimen.
You took a moment to observe him, trying to collect your jumbled thoughts. It was still early, but he’d probably been up for hours. If he even slept; he usually didn’t the night before an expedition. His eyes were tired, as they usually were, but soft as they fell on your frame.
Not many people would use that word to describe Levi Ackerman. Actually, there probably wasn’t a soul within the walls who would. Except you. He had shown his soft side, his most intimate, vulnerable parts of himself with you. That meant something, right? You couldn’t help but doubt yourself once again as you took in the sight of him.
His hair was still a bit askew, his cravat dangling untied around his neck. Those eyes were piercing straight into yours, threatening to dive in and pull the words you were too scared to say from your lips, whether you bid them to leave or not.
There was no turning back now.
“I-I-…I thought that,” you stammered, dropping your gaze to the floor as it became obvious you wouldn’t be able to beat holding eye contact with him. “I thought that I might have been pregnant.”
There it was. The horror that had been plaguing you for weeks now. It was out in the open, finally. It felt somewhat relieving to actually say the words out loud; to acknowledge the anxiety that had been haunting you for so long now, but it also invited a whole new wave of torment.
Levi’s jaw was immediately sharpened into a hard set line, his eyes blazed with a concoction of confusion and rage that encouraged all that anxiety that you had thought you’d finally purged to come flooding back into your system.
“What? Y—what do you mean you thought? When? Why in the hell am I just now hearing about this? Pregnant? Dammit, Y/n, are you fucking kidding me?”
He spun away from you, one hand raking through his hair as he shut his eyes tight, before sliding his palm over his face until it rested on the desk in front of him.
“Levi, I-I’m sorry I didn’t come to you about this sooner, I thought I might have been, but I didn’t want to alarm you and..well, I-I didn’t know how you might..react..”
Trembling, you took a step back, leaning against the wall as if the physical support it offered might help you quell the doubts swelling in your chest.
Levi’s weight shifted as he leaned against the desk, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the edge and hung his head. You could see the curvature of every rippling muscle that carved his back into the work of art that it was. Normally, the sight would inspire different feelings in you, but right now all it offered was fear.
He would never lay a hand on you; you knew that for a fact. However, no amount of physical pain could even come close to what you would suffer if he ever left you. You would gladly endure any torture over having to lose Levi.
Your heart sank in your chest as you waited for what seemed like ages, desperately listening for his response. It was hard to tell what Levi was thinking almost all of the time, even as well as you had been blessed enough to come to know him, but standing here, shaking as you watched his shoulders clench and unclench as he shook his head, unable to even glance at whatever expression he was making, made it impossible to speculate what was going through his mind.
Finally, his shoulders seemed to relax a degree and his voice was low and measured when he spoke.
Venturing away from the wall, you cautiously took a few steps towards him. Craning your neck, you were able to see that his eyes were shut tight and he seemed to be intently focused on his breathing.
You nodded in vain, bobbing your head nervously as you stepped closer to him still, reaching a hand out to lay atop his left hand, which still had the edge of the desk in a vice grip.
“Yes, I’m certain.”
His shoulders sank further as he let out a long sigh and opened his eyes, keeping them fixed on the desk before him.
“Well thank God for that at least.”
A pang in your gut made you take a small step back, retracting your hand from atop his. His eyes followed your fingers as they broke contact and he fixed his eyes upon you, squinting in confusion as you shrank away from him.
It’s something that you had never considered before: kids, that is. You were a solider. You were both soldiers. The life you currently lead wasn’t conducive to starting a family.
But isn’t that part of what you were fighting for? For freedom? For a world where humans didn’t have to live in fear? One where you could live in peace and maybe bring children into the world without wondering what might become of their future?
It may be a far-fetched dream, but it was a nice ine to consider. Having spent some time contemplating what being a mother might entail, the idea has started to grow on you. It was just something you’d never even considered, but now that it had seemed within reach, maybe it was something you wanted?
But Levi’s reaction seemed to indicate anything but willingness to be a parent. The way he had said those words made it seem like the two of you literally creating a life together would be the worst thing that could happen to you both. Or to him, at least.
“What’re you doing?”
Levi’s words shook you from the runaway train of thought you’d become stuck on. His hand left the desk and reached toward you, but all you could do was stare at his palm as you backed against the wall, folding your hands behind your back and leaning against them.
Suddenly, the floor seemed to be the only thing that you could bear to look at as you inspected the pattern of wood beneath your feet. You tried to sound strong, but the crack in your voice betrayed you when you finally found the courage to speak.
“Would it really have been the worst thing if I had been?”
Another exasperated sigh fell from his lips, his head hanging as he rubbed his palm to his forehead.
“Yes. It would have been.”
The sharpness of his tone added to the cutting nature of his words, which sliced into your gut once again with that heavy pangs for sensation. It felt as if a void had been opened up within you and your heart was sinking into it, with no hopes of escape.
Tears immediately threatened to spring from your eyes and you had to swallow to choke back a sob as you nodded in a reluctant acknowledgement to his confession.
“I have to go.”
You turned to leave, bringing one hand to wipe the tears already rolling down your cheek, while the other clasped around the doorknob.
Levi’s fingers caught your wrist before you could twist the knob and pulled your hand toward him, turning you back to face him as he stepped closer, essentially pinning you between him and the door.
“What? No, talk to me, dammit. You can’t seriously think that us having a child would be a good idea. I know that you’re not that reckless or idiotic.”
Wiping away your tears proved to be a fruitless effort as his words only bid more to flow freely from your eyes. You did your best to repesss the heavy sob that escaped your chest, nearly choking on it as you looked away from him.
You had cried in front of Levi before, but not like this. Certainly never because of him. It was embarrassing. It was painful. It was a cruel torture that you wanted to end, but he seemed resolved to has this out now.
“No! That’s not what I’m saying! Obviously, I’m not that fucking stupid. I get that we can just run off and start a family and live happily ever fucking after, but I come to you with this information and the first fucking thing that you think of is to get angry with ME?”
Once the words started to tumble from your lips, the embrassment and the shame you had just been so smothered in turned to anger. To indignation. To rage. That’s all there was now. You could feel it bubble in your chest, burning within you and fueling your tirade as you found the nerve to lock eyes with Levi.
“I didn’t come to you immediately and maybe that’s my fucking bad, but you—YOU. Do. Not. Know. What I have been going through ALONE. I didn’t tell you when I first suspected, because a part of me was afraid that you would react this way. So I have been sitting with this nagging terror that I had just fucked up in the worst way imaginable and I couldn’t say shit to anyone about it. Not even to you. And every passing day I got a little more fucking terrified that it was real. Terrified and also excited? In a really fucked up way, because I want what I know that I can’t have and what you clearly never fucking want.”
Levi opened his mouth, his eyes narrowing as he readied a response, but you were too far gone now to give him the opportunity.
“No. Shut the fuck up. You have said enough for now. You can’t wait a fucking second to hear what I have to say. I had to wait 3 damn weeks, going back and forth about how awful and how wonderful things could be, before I finally got my period and then I had to let that dream fucking die. Against my best judgement, against everything that I have ever known about myself and about this fucked up life we lead, I allowed myself a few weeks to dream about a normal, domestic life with you and I realized that there was nothing that I wanted more and even if deep down I knew that it could never happen, that didn’t fucking change how badly I wanted it to be possible. How attached I was growing to this idea of you and I being able to have our own family. To have our own lives not having to worry about the burden of carrying the fate of of humankind on our backs. And before you can even hear me out, or think to ask me how in the fuck I FEEL, you’re mad at ME?”
A spiteful laugh echoed between you two, Levi noticeably winced as you shook your head and rolled your eyes before meeting his gaze once more.
“Fuck you, Levi Ackerman. You might be humanity’s strongest solider, but you’re sure as shit not what I’d call boyfriend of the year.”
His eyebrows furrowed and his tone dropped to a nearly venomous whisper. It sounded like he was struggling to contain his emotions, and failing, as his face contorted into an obviously conflicted expression.
“So what in the hell makes you think I’d ever be father of the year, huh? Did you consider that in your little fantasy? Did you account for the fact that if you were pregnant, you’d have been putting yourself and that kid at risk if you went on the mission today? And when in the hell were you going to fill me in? Were you just gonna wait to fucking let me in on this little secret until you were too far along to change your mind?”
Silence.
That’s all that was left between you. You just stared at him, jaw agape as he looked down and furiously ran his hands through his hair, tugging at his raven locks as he spun around before slamming a closed fist against the wall.
“That’s not—I don’t mean that I—“
The sound of the door slamming behind you caused him to turned around and that’s when he saw that you were gone. He rushed after you, desperate to pull you into his arms and apologize and explain himself, but you had already turned the corner and Erwin was expeditiously headed his way.
“Levi, I need to speak with you about today’s expedition.”
A heavy sigh left his lungs as he propped the door open for Erwin to enter. His eyes lingered down the hall, hoping you would reappear, but to no avail.
//end flashback//
You and Levi had never fought before. Not over anything serious. Not over anything like that, certainly. He had never wanted to hurt you, but he broke your fucking heart and he knew it.
He knew that that was the last real interaction you had with him and it killed him inside. Not only had he managed to hurt the one person that he loved more than anything, more than life itself, but that was likely the last thing that he would ever get to say to you.
Because you were gone. Nowhere to be found. He’d flown into a rage when he initially realized that he couldn’t see you anymore. He never lost track of you in battle; he was always keeping an eye on you, even though you could handle yourself. He just wanted to make sure that nothing ever happened to you and now he’d failed at that too.
Now every last titan was dead. The city was quiet, save for the sound of his ODM gear and the thumping of his heart.
His chest physically ached and tightened as he continued to fly through the city streets, scanning for any sign that you might be nearby, and mercifully in one piece.
With each second, he could feel his hope shrinking and the terror in his soul feeding on the fear he felt with every passing moment that you weren’t within his sights.
He didn’t know how long he had searched or how many times he had inspected the same corpses, praying each one wasn’t yours, but eventually, he had to tell himself to go home. You weren’t here.
Titans had begun to reappear and he didn’t have the gas to engage in any more confrontations, so he forced himself to find his horse and turn back.
He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t make you happy. He couldn’t not hurt you. He couldn’t save you. He couldn’t even find you. He could never really say goodbye.
All he could do was replay that awful scene in his mind, over and over and over again.
How selfish he had been. How much pain was evident in your face when he spat those awful words at you.
He didn’t mean them, he was just scared and confused and now because of his own insecurity and thoughtlessness, you had suffered even more than you had ever needed to and he would never get the chance to try and make it up to you, if something that would have even been possible.
The ride back to base was a dizzying blur. Levi didn’t know what to feel by the time he got back. He didn’t think he could feel at all, actually. It felt like a void had opened up in his chest that was now sucking the air from his lungs and the light from his very soul. He felt broken beyond repair.
“Levi!”
He barely registered the sound of his own name being called and he certainly didn’t feel like interacting with anyone, so he kept walking.
“Levi, she’s here!”
What? Had I heard correctly? Did they mean??
He didn’t waste another second when he thought there was a possibility that he could see you again. His head snapped up to look at Hange, who was waving him toward her with a reassuring smile on her face.
Levi had never run so fast in his life. Within moments, he was at your side in the infirmary. His heart broke all over again at the sight of you laid in the bed, bloodied bandages covering most of your limbs and dark bruises peeking out from the places the bandages didn’t cover.
Tears were already falling from his eyes as he gingerly took your hand in his, pressing desperate, soft kisses along your palm.
“Y/n, baby, I’m so sorry. Oh my God, I thought I had lost you. I can’t believe you’re here. I’m so fucking sorry. I love you so much, baby, I love you so damn much.”
You cupped his face in your hand, smiling at him as tears fell from your own eyes.
“Levi, I—“
He carefully leaned over your bed, taking in the state of your body as he caressed your cheek with the back of his hand as delicately as he could.
“Don’t say that you love me.”
He interrupted your impending words as if he could actually read your mind. His fingers pushed into your hair, running through your tresses soothingly as he looked down at you with an sad, apologetic grin. Remorse was evident in his tone when he spoke again.
“I don’t deserve your love right now. I don’t think that I ever have, but I know that I don’t deserve it after how I treated you this morning. I’m so, so sorry, Y/n.”
His other hand delicately wiped the tears that were trailing down your cheeks, brushing his thumb across either side of your face carefully. You put your hand over his and pulled his hand to your lips, pressing gentle kisses along his palm as he had done to your own just moments ago.
“Levi, I do love you. I love you more than anything, even now. I’m so sorry that I didn’t come to you sooner abo—“
“Sshsshssh, baby, no. Don’t apologize to me for that. I was such a jackass this morning. I am so sorry that I didn’t even consider what you must have been going through. I-I-..when you—fuck.”
Levi’s eyes closed and he let out a long breath as he tried to compose himself. He wasn’t one to ever get flustered, so seeing him like this was a bit unusual.
“I didn’t know how to react and I picked the worst option possible. I didn’t mean the awful things that I said, Y/n. I didn’t mean a single one.”
His eyes were focused on you again, both of his hands taking yours as he sat down on the edge of the bed, smiling remorsefully down at you.
“I love you so much that it actually scares me. I try not to let myself think about it too much, because the thought of anything ever happening to you kills me. I searched for you for I don’t even know how long, because I just couldn’t accept that I might have lost you and thinking about the last thing that I said to you I couldn’t—“
Silence filled the room for a moment as Levi visibly struggled to choke back a sob and when he spoke again, his voiced cracked; the guilt he was clearly struggling with was evident in his tone as his voice dropped to a whisper.
“I couldn’t live with myself knowing that that was the last thing that you would have ever heard from me. I need you to know that that’s not how I feel. I would give anything to be able to have that life with you. I want nothing more than to be able to give you as many children as you’ll let me. I want a house full of brats running around, driving me insane.”
You smiled and stifled a soft giggle as more tears sprang from your eyes, happy ones this time. Levi chuckled along with you as he continued.
“I want you and I want to give you the world. But I want to give you a world that’s worthy of you. That’s what I wanted to say earlier, but I didn’t know how to put it into words; I still don’t, really. I was scared and I had a knee-jerk reaction and I will apologize to you until I can give you the life that you want; the life that you deserve.”
You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch as he brought a hand up to your cheeks again to wipe away the tears that were seemingly ever-flowing.
“Levi, I love you so much. I want that life with you, but I’m happy with just you.”
Your hand clasped over his as you spoke, before gently removing it from your cheek before you carefully began to sit upright in the bed, wincing only a little as you successfully did so, bringing your face just inches from his.
“I’m happy with whatever life I can have with you. I know this world isn’t fair; it’s downright cruel most of the time, but it’s still a world that I love, because you’re in it.”
His soft gaze fell to your lips as he leaned forward, capturing them in a passionate kiss as his hand cautiously held your waist. When you parted, he rested his forehead against yours and took your hand in his once more.
“I don’t deserve you. I love you so much, Y/n.”
You smiled softly as you soothed your thumb over the back of his hand.
“You deserve the world, Levi. And I love you too, so I’ll make sure you have it.”
summary: just insecure post war levi who seeks reassurance ( maybe slight manga spoilers ig ?)
Levi had never really paid attention to his injuries or scars ; they were a part of him , a part of his story. He’d never thought he could feel ashamed of something that only showed what he went trough, what he fought , what he lost. He’d never considered himself diminished because he bore scars ; but somehow, that was maybe because he’d never really gotten severely hurt , never getting to a point where, like Erwin, he could’ve lost an arm or worse.
He’d never paid attention to his scars during the war , perhaps because he knew they wouldn’t be the last ones he got. But now , now that everything was finished , now that, for the first time of his life, he knew peace , Levi couldn’t stop himself from realizing how hurt he was. He didn’t only have scars on the inside, memories he could never erase ; but he also had scars on the outside , obvious marks of what haunted his soul.
However, he didn’t think he would have been this disturbed by his scars if you hadn’t been there , standing by his side,tending to his wounds,making him feel guilty of how much of a bother he’d become. Levi had always been the one caring for others , protecting them , putting everyone but himself as a priority ; and he didn’t particularly enjoy how the tables had turned , how he was now the one needing someone else’s help , especially yours when you had your own hurts to recover from. He knew you loved him, no matter what , knew that your love had never flattered or changed ; but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that you need someone else,someone better than him.
These thoughts , thoughts of how unworthy of you he was , how,for your own good, he should let you go but couldn’teven think of doing it ; these thoughts kept him awake at night , haunting him almost as horribly as the war memories. Tonight was not an exception to this : sitting on your shared bed, his fingers tracing over the scar on his face , his eye fixed on you , Levi felt as tough he might get suffocated by his thoughts.
“Y/n ? ” he called , half hoping you wouldn’t hear him and stay asleep , his voice so low he wouldn’t even had paid attention to it if the words hadn’t been his.
Your sleeping form stirred,eyes blinking slowly as you turned your face to Levi’s,brows furrowed ; it was most peculiar of him to awake you in the middle of the night , especially since he always made your sleep and well being a priority.
“Levi ? Is there something wrong ?” you asked him, propping yourself into one of your elbow to be at his level. Even in the dark, you could see how tormented his face looked , his eyes looking at everything except you, purposely avoiding your gaze that always made his resolution falter .
“I…I’ve been thinking about stuff recently. About us.” He could feel you suddenly completely focused on him , the deep sleep you’d just been in already forgotten , his words enough to awake you completely. Levi knew he would regret his words, regret voicing his thoughts , but he knew sharing them with you was the only way to get rid of them.
“Y/n , you know that I…” The words locked into his throat and Levi gulped ; no matter how many years passed, expressing his feelings was still as difficult as it’d been on the first day. “ You know how much I cherish you. More than anything. This is why I think I’d be better for you to…”
“Are you trying to break up with me in the middle of the night, Levi ?”
There was an hint of playfulness in your voice , and when Levi looked at you, he saw a small grin on your face . He didn’t know if you thought this was a game or if you simply knew he could never willingly leave you , knew how his insides were currently screaming at him to stop speaking and simply kiss you to forget everything.
“I don’t…I don’t want to break up with you.” He stumbled over the words “break up”; simply pronouncing them was enough to fill him with a dreadful feeling.
“It really sounds like you are. But go on, what do you think would be better for me ?”
Your voice was soft, still full of this kindness Levi had never fully understood. He sometimes thought you’d still use this tone even if he was yelling at you , and he didn’t know how to feel about it.
“Look at me , Y/n . You deserve more than someone who’s so… marked. You deserve to live your freedom without having to care about my health , you should be able to do whatever you want without being restrained by my state.”
Silent rang in the room , and Levi thought nothing he’d ever faced could compare to the fear he felt currently as he waited for your answer, waited to see if he had pushed you away , if he had lost the only thing he’d ever truly cared about. After what felt like an eternity, you sighed, getting closer to Levi as you did and gently grabbing his hand.
“ I don’t care if you’re marked , Levi. I am too, and it just shows what we survived , how hard we fought.”You brought his hand to your lips and kissed the scars that were on it. “ I feel insanely proud whenever I look at you , whenever I see the scars of these events that could’ve destroyed you , but that instead made you stronger and made you the man I love.”
You words were punctured by the small kiss you placed on every single one of his scars , slowly mounting toward his face. Levi stared at you , almost in awe , feeling small jolts whenever your lips brushed his skin .
“ I don’t want to live my freedom with anyone else , because I fought to earn it only to be able to spend it with you. I would’ve fought in vain all these years if the rest of my life wasn’t happening with you. You could be bedridden until the day you die , and I’d still stay with you, without any regrets , without wanting anyone or anything else because you’re the only thing I need, Levi.”
You finished by kissing the scar on his face , eyes closed,lingering a bit longer on this one. When you opened your eyes again and met Levi’s gaze , you knew at once that you’d won , your words vanishing all his worries like a spell.
“Life really sucks, but I think I’d still bloody thank it for putting you into mine.” he muttered as he leaned forward and kissed you , kissed you like a goodbye and a welcome,kissed you as if he might die if his lips parted from yours. In that moment , he didn’t care about how he looked , didn’t care about anything else other than you , you with him and in his arms ,the two of you more than enough for each other.
Levi had never knew he could feel that much. He’d only ever felt a range of emotions ; anger , sadness, sometimes affection … It was rarely , or never, bright emotions , emotions that made the world looks like the sun had never shone higher and stronger. He felt, but his feelings tainted his world in grey , made his insides burn with a need for revenge and fighting. And he’d never complained about it, never tried to change it ,never tried to feel something else , something new ; because in this world,emotions were your greatest weakness. He didn’t want to feel love,he tried his best to avoid it and any other happy feeling ; because how could he fight,how could he kill , if his heart was too bright to endure it ?
But it seemed like life thought that Levi couldn’t spend his life running away from feelings , running away from what made people humans . Life had put you into Levi’s path, and it had gave you the key to unlock Levi’s well hidden emotions,the key to walk through his barriers as if they weren’t there,as if he hadn’t spent his whole life building them.
You made Levi feel , feel emotions he’d only heard of, but that he’d try to avoid like an incurable disease. He only had to look at you,to hear the sound of your voice , and he was then overwhelmed by a wave of warmth , his heart swelling inside his chest , his body filled by so many emotions he didn’t even think he could identify one and put a name on it.
And he was afraid of it. He was afraid of happiness , because he feared that these bright feelings he had would only hurt him more in the future ; because the more you felt , the more you had to lose,and Levi had already lost enough. He didn’t know how it’ll be if you ever disappeared , leaving him alone again,with only the memory of the love he’d felt.
Levi was afraid of losing you and losing the ability to feel , but he was more afraid of how he’d feel if you ever disappeared , and that he’d never tried to do anything. Yes,losing you will hurt him , but he didn’t want to risk you dying and giving him more regrets .He didn’t want to regret that he’d never confessed, that he’d never got to kiss you or admire you in the morning. He was afraid , but he knew too well how fragile life was , and how everyday could be your last. He didn’t want to be haunted by ‘what if" , and wanted to be able to remember how things had happened and felt instead of imagining how they could have gone.
Levi never knew he could feel that much, but he was willing to accept these feelings if it meant he could experience them with you.
the air was cold but something inside it felt like home somehow
since it’s spring my dumb ass decided to write a “winter” morning fic :)
The first thing Levi felt when he woke up was the cold icy air coming from the open window ; and he mentally cursed himself from forgetting to close it when he went to sleep. He buried his face in the crook of your neck , tightening his grip on your waist as he tried his best to grasp as much of the warmth your body and the blanket that covered it could offer him.
He wasn’t the type of person to linger in bed after waking up ; usually , he simply admired you sleeping for a few minutes , and then rose and began his day almost immediately . He always had more things to do than time available , and time wasn’t something he was allowed to waist and spend by staying in bed , though he often wish he could act so.
But today , Levi felt lazy. He knew he should wake up and start working , but he was too comfortable with you by his side to even seriously consider the idea. Who would willingly decide to leave the warmth of the bed that was occupied by the person you loved to go into the cold world and bury yourself into reading boring paperwork ? When he quickly understood that the only answer to his question was “ no one” , Levi buried his guilt in the back of his mind and decided that , for once , he could enjoy a calm morning with you.
His fingers gently and lightly begun to trace lazy circles over your back , and , as you woke under the slight touch, Levi felt you shiver. Tightening the blanket even closer over your bodies , he placed a kiss on your neck and rose his head so he could look at you , feeling his heart swell at the same time with the feeling of happiness only you could provide him.
“’‘Morning” you muttered, eyes still half closed as you tried to adjust yourself to the light ,your hair a mess around Levi’s chest.
Levi loved many things about you , but if he ever had to make a list , your morning face would probably be in the first place. He loved how he was the only one able to witness you like this , but also how you loved and trusted him enough to be able to do so. His hand brushed through you hair, untangling some knots that had former over the night at the same time.
“It’s not everyday I get to wake up you with you by my side.”
“And do you prefer when I’m here or when I’m at work ?” he asked, a small smile on the face as he looked at you. He didn’t think he could ever understand how a single person could make him feel so much emotions , emotions sometimes so bright he wondered if they weren’t making him a complete other man.
You gently slapped Levi on the face , laughing at his question. “Do I even need to answer that , or do you just want me to remind you of how in love I am ?”
The word love made Levi’s heart fluster ; no matter how long you’d been together, how often you said the words , they still had the same effect as the first time he’d heard them.
“I think I just want more praises. Good for my ego.”
“Who knew Levi Ackerman was such a narcissist.”
Smiling into your hair, Levi kissed your forehead , and then proceeded to give you light kisses on every bit of skin he could attain. He felt at peace , with himself and even with the world; and he suddenly thought that he’d still feel like this even if you’d been sleeping on the floor or even in the snow outside. It didn’t matter where he was,as long as you were with him.
“You’re going to be late.” you stated ,without doing anything to break from Levi’s embrace. He nodded, muttering “I know” as he tightened his grip around you, not moving.
“You know, since the window’s open,we can tell Erwin you’re sick. We’ll say that you caught a cold or a terrible disease that force you to stay by my side if you don’t want to dramatically drop dead on the floor.”
Levi’s made a sound half between a laugh and a groan , and answered : “ He won’t believe it , but since I never missed work ever since I’ve joined the scouts…I think he’s not going to complain too much.”
And, this time kissing your lips, Levi Ackerman chose to take the first day off of his life , just so he could stay in bed with you all day.
Levi had never really fantasized about kissing someone. About being intimate with someone,about having a relationship and experiencing true love. It just wasn’t in his nature ; it had never crossed his mind,and he’d never found someone who could summon these thoughts in him.
But all of this had disappeared the instant he met you. He became fully aware,for the first time, of someone else’s existence, fully aware of how alive you were, and how that could change so easily in the world you lived in. He wanted to get to know you more,wanted to spend all the minutes available in your presence ; and he feared that.
He was afraid of how all his thoughts were now about you, about your lips, your gestures, your voice ; everything that made you who you were. He couldn’t stop himself from acting like a teenage boy and playing on repeat the smallest of your interactions , making up,at the same time, fake scenarios that kept him up all night,blushing into his pillows.
He’d never thought about anyone else romantically, and he didn’t know if it was normal to be this much into someone ,to want this much to kiss them,hold them, press their hands into his. He felt young,younger than he’d ever felt,as if ,with this bright feeling he had, he was standing under a ray of sunshine. He was completely in love with you, and deep down, he knew you were the only person could he experience these feelings with. You were the person he’d been waiting for his whole life, without even knowing he was searching for it.
.He only adopted a regular and “healthy” sleep schedule when the two of you started sleeping in the same bed ; and he’ll never admit it but falling asleep into your arms,and being able check that you’re still there,still alive when he wakes up from a nightmare makes him enjoy sleeping more than he ever did before.
. He used to be really awkward and a blushing mess every time the two of you hugged or cuddled at the beginning of your relationship. He was just so unused to physical affection that it always made him really flustered ; he didn’t know how to accept it,and above all,how to react to it. But after a while,(and a lot of reassurance from your side that you liked hugging/cuddling him),he literally couldn’t let go of you anymore and was always with his arms wrapped around you.
.He thinks the most romantic thing about you ,things like comparing your smile to the sun and your laugh to an angel , but he NEVERsays it out loud. He’s literally mentally writing poems about you,noticing every single details about your person ,but never lets anyone know about it , because he feels like it will look as if he’s doing too much ( and because,yes,Levi ackerman is also too shy to say these type of stuff).
.When he has a bad day and come home angry, the only way for him to calm down is to hug you,or to have any sort of physical contact with you. Your presence is the only thing that can make him forget his problems, and ,just by burying his face into your neck, he’d be able to forget everything and calm his soul.
“ i like shining things , but i’d marry you with paper rings”
summary : levi being afraid of real engagement so he and reader gets “engaged” with paper rings. (not proof read)
“Have you ever thought about getting married,Levi ?”
The question, unexpected, seemed to float in the room,taking Levi aback and leaving him at lack of words. His arms,wrapped around you as you were both silently laying on the bed,seemed to froze,and his body felt more tense than a few seconds ago. He didn’t know why you were asking him this all of sudden ; why your mind had suddenly wandered on this topic .
“Not really.” he answered after a while. He wasn’t being entirely honest with this answer ; and he knew,by the way you slowly shook your head,that you’d heard the lie in these two words.
“Let’s just say I never seriously considered it. I thought about it but…I never saw it as a real possibility.” he said again,slowly. This answer was closer to the truth ; Levi indeed thought about marrying you,and if he was being honest,he thought about it quite often.
The thought of marriage had never even crossed Levi’s mind before he met you , but recently,he’d found himself thinking about this idea more often. He knew you couldn’t actually get married ; the world you two lived in was too dangerous,and some part of him also feared that if your relationship became as official as a marriage would make it, something would happen,life would take you away from him and he would somehow get punished for thinking he could have and keep someone for once.
This was why he’d never seriously thought about proposing to you ; thinking of being married was more like a daydream to him,something that help him relax after a stressful day. Yes,he may have looked at some rings,or imagined what he could wear ; but he’d never imagined that one day you could actually get married. It was something not worth risking , and he knew he’d only get more scared of losing you if he became your husband.
“I mean…” you said,breaking the silence and interrupting Levi’s thoughts at the same time. “ I think it’d be better to wait until the war,the titans ,everything…It’d be better to wait until all of this is finished to get married. We’ll be able to do it properly then.”
Levi’s heart missed a beat at the thought that you saw a future with him,and above all,that you were hopeful about the outcome of your current situation. He nodded,pressing a small kiss on the top of your head at the same time.
“But even then I don’t want something extravagant. Let’s have a quiet marriage.”
He heard you laugh as you suddenly moved and started to look for something on the floor; and he was also almost certain that you’d called him a “party pooper”. A few seconds later,having apparently found what you were looking for,you leaned back into Levi and his embrace,holding,to his surprise,some sheets of paper.
“Just give me a few seconds , and you’ll understand.” you muttered,answering to Levi’s puzzled expression. You quickly teared the paper,seemed to play with it and,a few seconds later,you proudly held what looked like two rings. They looked pretty terrible in Levi’s opinion, but he didn’t dare to voice his thoughts after seeing how happy of yourself you looked.
“Paper rings. Sasha taught me how to make them.”
You grabbed Levi’s left hand and slowly passed the paper ring on his finger, trying your best not to break it at the same time. Understanding what you were doing,Levi’s heart skipped a beat again he suddenly felt like the whole room had grew hotter.
“This is…A safe way to get married,let’s say. Or ,if the word married disturb you,let’s say it’s just to show each other our love and our care, ;and that it’s also a sort of promise that ,if the situation lets us… one day we will put real rings on our fingers.”
You placed a kiss on Levi’s hand while he grabbed the second paper ring, looking suddenly really timid. He locked his eyes into yours while he put the ring on your finger ; and his eyes said all the words that couldn’t pass his mouth.
“Does that mean I should call you Y/n Ackerman now ?” he asked,making you laugh again as you leaned forward to kiss him.
“I don’t mind that…Except that, if you do it, it’ll probably be impossible to make Hange shut up afterwards.They’ll get excited and everything , and will ask why we didn’t say anything…”
Levi groaned, kissing you again and interrupting you at the same time.His hand went through your hair,and he could feel some strands of it getting attached to the ring. He knew it will break easily, and that in the morning he probably won’t have it anymore ; but all the meaning behind this small paper ring was still enough to make him feel overwhelmed by love.
He just hoped that one day he’ll get the chance to put a real ring on your finger, one that will not break,one that will represent your story and the love you have for each other.
the first time y/n tries to cuddle with a blushing and stuttering levi who can barely make a sentence
“You want …to…cuddle ?” Levi asked again,his brows so furrowed it looked as if you’d just asked him to resolve a particularly difficult math problem. You nodded to his question ,and he took in a deep,shaky breath,turning his eyes away from you and looking at the bed with a look of utter horror.
“We don’t have to,Levi…I just thought…If it makes you uncomfortabe,let’s not do it,okay ? It’s fine.”
Levi shook his head,still looking at the bed. “I don’t know how to do it.” he muttered,his voice so low you didn’t know if you’d heard him properly. A soft smile appeared on your face as you looked at him, being suddenly so vulnerable and far from his usual so composed self.
“It’s not something you learn to do, you just…follow your instinct while doing it,I guess ? But,again,we don’t have to do it.”
Levi shook his head again. “No let’s...” he coughed,trying to hide his stuttering . “Okay.Fine.But start because I don’t know how.”
Levi’s face had turned a bright shade of red,and it became an even deeper colour when you wrapped your arms around him and leant on the bed. The daylight disappeared as Levi buried his face into the crook of your neck,taking a deep,shaky breath at the same time. He could feel his heart beating faster than usual,and he suddenly wondered if you could hear it too.His arms stood by his side as he awkwardly tried to think of whatto do with them,and he suddenly felt like a little kid ; he didn’t remember ever being held like that,being held by someone and feeling their love through their embrace.
“Do you mind if I …?” he began, his hand a few inches from your waist as he waited for you to accept his touch, face still buried in your neck. You pressed a small kiss on his forehead,and Levi felt as if a thousand of fireworks had just exploded inside his body.
“No,Levi,I don’t mind at all.”
He knew he didn’t have to ask,knew you would prefer for him to just go for it and not wait for your approval before touching you ; but he was always afraid he might do something that made you feel bad,that hurt you and made you want to leave him. He wanted to touch you all the time,even if it was just something light,and he was afraid to do it and make you run away ; afraid that you might understand and fear how much he loved you and thought about you.
But he chased these thoughts away as he slowly wrapped his arms around, your bodies now so close to each other you almost became one. He was surrounded by your smell,every single part of his body touching one of yours ; and he suddenly felt so overwhelmed by his feelings,by the luck he had to experience something like this in such an horrible world , that he would have cried for the first time in what felt years if the moment hadn’t been so bright.
He pressed light kisses on your neck as your hands played with his hair ; and he felt a sudden urge to do a thousand things he never usually did : he wanted to hum ,wanted to express all his feelings,he wanted to smile,laugh and be happy. He felt as if all the happy feelings he’d never experienced through his years of despair had just suddenly appeared between your arms ; that you were the remedy for this curse he’d been living. You were bright,brighter than anything he’d ever seen and he didn’t know why you’d chose him,but he was happy you did.
He felt at peace between your arms,felt at peace just by being able to hold you,to linger his fingers over your skin,to enjoy your presence. And he thought that,after all,cuddling wasn’t so bad ; actually,he hoped you felt like him,and that you wouldn’t want to end it,that you wanted to hug him for all eternity and forget about everything else.
just a very flustered levi who still hasn’t got used to dating y/n
Levi didn’t think he’d ever felt this aware of someone else’s presence next to him. You were sitting next to each other,legs touching,while you told Levi all about your day ; but no matter how hard he focused,he didn’t seem to be able to understand a single word of what you were saying,his mind too busy thinking about how close you were.
You’d been dating for a short time now ( even though,as Hange liked to mention , you’d been acting like a couple way before finally confessing to each other) but,despite the two of you being officially partners , Levi still hadn’t got used to it. He still acted as if he wasn’t allowed to touch you,to kiss you,to tell you how he felt ; and he still turned a deep shade of red whenever you did these to him.
Suddenly,dragging him out of his thoughts,Levi felt a weight on his shoulder. Turning a bit,his heart missing a beat at the same time,he saw your face,leaning on his shoulder,and eyes focused on him.
“You’re not listening .” you stated,without an ounce of reproach in your voice. Levi nodded,knowing that he wouldn’t be able to talk with you this close to him. He found it quite funny (or embarassing ,he didn’t really know ) that he could easily kill titans, but was flustered just because of one person.
“Can’t focus.” he muttered, his eyes locked into yours,suddenly feeling as if the whole world had just disappeared around him to move into your eyes.
“And why that ?” None of you dared to break the eye contact,and Levi suddenly felt as if the temperature had just drastically increased ; and he wondered ,unreally ,if the house wasn’t on fire.
“You.That’s what.” He was so lost into your eyes that his mouth spoke before he could think of a proper answer. Feeling suddenly really flustered,he almost turned his eyes away,but at the same time a broad smile appeared on your face ,and he didn’t dare to look away,afraid to miss this sight.
“That’s great then. I was telling a lot of shitty stuff because I couldn’t really focus either.”
He didn’t know how that had happened,but your faces were now mere inches to each other. “And why couldn’t you focus ?” he asked,your smile increasing with his question.
“You.That’s what.” you answered,kissing him at the same time. He could feel you smiling through the kiss,and he suddenly thought he could die of it,die because of you and the way you made him feel.
He didn’t know if he deserved to have these feelings,deserved to love someone so much he didn’t care about anything else. He didn’t know if he deserved this,but he was for sure not going to let it go. His hands then found their place on your cheeks as he kissed you back,forgetting everything that had ever existed before you,everything else that existed in the same time as you ; his solely existence only consisting of this kiss,and of you,and of the love he felt.
Synopsis:You’d follow him to the end of the world, you promised, only to realize how silly the words sounded with the current state of life- not to mention, you had said the same to Petra, a girl that met her fate with zombies gnawing the flesh of her thigh.
Warnings: Eventual smut, explicit language, zombie apocalypse, minor character death, blood & gore, violence, weapons, minor & serious injuries, hurt/comfort
imagine,,, season four/post war Levi kissing his S/O and,,, since he only has one working eye it messes with his depth perception and so he’ll bump their nose or when he leans in his aim is slightly off,,,
