“No amount of freedom gets you clean.”

summary: just insecure post war levi who seeks reassurance ( maybe slight manga spoilers ig ?)

Levi had never really paid attention to his injuries or scars ; they were a part of him , a part of his story. He’d never thought he could feel ashamed of something that only showed what he went trough, what he fought , what he lost. He’d never considered himself diminished because he bore scars ; but somehow, that was maybe because he’d never really gotten severely hurt , never getting to a point where, like Erwin, he could’ve lost an arm or worse.

He’d never paid attention to his scars during the war , perhaps because he knew they wouldn’t be the last ones he got. But now , now that everything was finished , now that, for the first time of his life, he knew peace , Levi couldn’t stop himself from realizing how hurt he was. He didn’t only have scars on the inside, memories he could never erase ; but he also had scars on the outside , obvious marks of what haunted his soul.

However, he didn’t think he would have been this disturbed by his scars if you hadn’t been there , standing by his side,tending to his wounds,making him feel guilty of how much of a bother he’d become. Levi had always been the one caring for others , protecting them , putting everyone but himself as a priority ; and he didn’t particularly enjoy how the tables had turned , how he was now the one needing someone else’s help , especially yours when you had your own hurts to recover from. He knew you loved him, no matter what , knew that your love had never flattered or changed ; but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that you need someone else,someone better than him.

These thoughts , thoughts of how unworthy of you he was , how,for your own good, he should let you go but couldn’teven think of doing it ; these thoughts kept him awake at night , haunting him almost as horribly as the war memories. Tonight was not an exception to this : sitting on your shared bed, his fingers tracing over the scar on his face , his eye fixed on you , Levi felt as tough he might get suffocated by his thoughts.

“Y/n ? ” he called , half hoping you wouldn’t hear him and stay asleep , his voice so low he wouldn’t even had paid attention to it if the words hadn’t been his.

Your sleeping form stirred,eyes blinking slowly as you turned your face to Levi’s,brows furrowed ; it was most peculiar of him to awake you in the middle of the night , especially since he always made your sleep and well being a priority.

“Levi ? Is there something wrong ?” you asked him, propping yourself into one of your elbow to be at his level. Even in the dark, you could see how tormented his face looked , his eyes looking at everything except you, purposely avoiding your gaze that always made his resolution falter .

“I…I’ve been thinking about stuff recently. About us.” He could feel you suddenly completely focused on him , the deep sleep you’d just been in already forgotten , his words enough to awake you completely. Levi knew he would regret his words, regret voicing his thoughts , but he knew sharing them with you was the only way to get rid of them.

“Y/n , you know that I…” The words locked into his throat and Levi gulped ; no matter how many years passed, expressing his feelings was still as difficult as it’d been on the first day. “ You know how much I cherish you. More than anything. This is why I think I’d be better for you to…”

“Are you trying to break up with me in the middle of the night, Levi ?”

There was an hint of playfulness in your voice , and when Levi looked at you, he saw a small grin on your face . He didn’t know if you thought this was a game or if you simply knew he could never willingly leave you , knew how his insides were currently screaming at him to stop speaking and simply kiss you to forget everything.

“I don’t…I don’t want to break up with you.” He stumbled over the words “break up”; simply pronouncing them was enough to fill him with a dreadful feeling.

“It really sounds like you are. But go on, what do you think would be better for me ?”

Your voice was soft, still full of this kindness Levi had never fully understood. He sometimes thought you’d still use this tone even if he was yelling at you , and he didn’t know how to feel about it.

“Look at me , Y/n . You deserve more than someone who’s so… marked. You deserve to live your freedom without having to care about my health , you should be able to do whatever you want without being restrained by my state.”

Silent rang in the room , and Levi thought nothing he’d ever faced could compare to the fear he felt currently as he waited for your answer, waited to see if he had pushed you away , if he had lost the only thing he’d ever truly cared about. After what felt like an eternity, you sighed, getting closer to Levi as you did and gently grabbing his hand.

“ I don’t care if you’re marked , Levi. I am too, and it just shows what we survived , how hard we fought.”You brought his hand to your lips and kissed the scars that were on it. “ I feel insanely proud whenever I look at you , whenever I see the scars of these events that could’ve destroyed you , but that instead made you stronger and made you the man I love.”

You words were punctured by the small kiss you placed on every single one of his scars , slowly mounting toward his face. Levi stared at you , almost in awe , feeling small jolts whenever your lips brushed his skin .

“ I don’t want to live my freedom with anyone else , because I fought to earn it only to be able to spend it with you. I would’ve fought in vain all these years if the rest of my life wasn’t happening with you. You could be bedridden until the day you die , and I’d still stay with you, without any regrets , without wanting anyone or anything else because you’re the only thing I need, Levi.”

You finished by kissing the scar on his face , eyes closed,lingering a bit longer on this one. When you opened your eyes again and met Levi’s gaze , you knew at once that you’d won , your words vanishing all his worries like a spell.

“Life really sucks, but I think I’d still bloody thank it for putting you into mine.” he muttered as he leaned forward and kissed you , kissed you like a goodbye and a welcome,kissed you as if he might die if his lips parted from yours. In that moment , he didn’t care about how he looked , didn’t care about anything else other than you , you with him and in his arms ,the two of you more than enough for each other.

Levi had never knew he could feel that much. He’d only ever felt a range of emotions ; anger , sadness, sometimes affection … It was rarely , or never, bright emotions , emotions that made the world looks like the sun had never shone higher and stronger. He felt, but his feelings tainted his world in grey , made his insides burn with a need for revenge and fighting. And he’d never complained about it, never tried to change it ,never tried to feel something else , something new ; because in this world,emotions were your greatest weakness. He didn’t want to feel love,he tried his best to avoid it and any other happy feeling ; because how could he fight,how could he kill , if his heart was too bright to endure it ?

But it seemed like life thought that Levi couldn’t spend his life running away from feelings , running away from what made people humans . Life had put you into Levi’s path, and it had gave you the key to unlock Levi’s well hidden emotions,the key to walk through his barriers as if they weren’t there,as if he hadn’t spent his whole life building them.

You made Levi feel , feel emotions he’d only heard of, but that he’d try to avoid like an incurable disease. He only had to look at you,to hear the sound of your voice , and he was then overwhelmed by a wave of warmth , his heart swelling inside his chest , his body filled by so many emotions he didn’t even think he could identify one and put a name on it.

And he was afraid of it. He was afraid of happiness , because he feared that these bright feelings he had would only hurt him more in the future ; because the more you felt , the more you had to lose,and Levi had already lost enough. He didn’t know how it’ll be if you ever disappeared , leaving him alone again,with only the memory of the love he’d felt.

Levi was afraid of losing you and losing the ability to feel , but he was more afraid of how he’d feel if you ever disappeared , and that he’d never tried to do anything. Yes,losing you will hurt him , but he didn’t want to risk you dying and giving him more regrets .He didn’t want to regret that he’d never confessed, that he’d never got to kiss you or admire you in the morning. He was afraid , but he knew too well how fragile life was , and how everyday could be your last. He didn’t want to be haunted by ‘what if" , and wanted to be able to remember how things had happened and felt instead of imagining how they could have gone.

Levi never knew he could feel that much, but he was willing to accept these feelings if it meant he could experience them with you.

the air was cold but something inside it felt like home somehow

since it’s spring my dumb ass decided to write a “winter” morning fic :)

The first thing Levi felt when he woke up was the cold icy air coming from the open window ; and he mentally cursed himself from forgetting to close it when he went to sleep. He buried his face in the crook of your neck , tightening his grip on your waist as he tried his best to grasp as much of the warmth your body and the blanket that covered it could offer him.

He wasn’t the type of person to linger in bed after waking up ; usually , he simply admired you sleeping for a few minutes , and then rose and began his day almost immediately . He always had more things to do than time available , and time wasn’t something he was allowed to waist and spend by staying in bed , though he often wish he could act so.

But today , Levi felt lazy. He knew he should wake up and start working , but he was too comfortable with you by his side to even seriously consider the idea. Who would willingly decide to leave the warmth of the bed that was occupied by the person you loved to go into the cold world and bury yourself into reading boring paperwork ? When he quickly understood that the only answer to his question was “ no one” , Levi buried his guilt in the back of his mind and decided that , for once , he could enjoy a calm morning with you.

His fingers gently and lightly begun to trace lazy circles over your back , and , as you woke under the slight touch, Levi felt you shiver. Tightening the blanket even closer over your bodies , he placed a kiss on your neck and rose his head so he could look at you , feeling his heart swell at the same time with the feeling of happiness only you could provide him.

“’‘Morning” you muttered, eyes still half closed as you tried to adjust yourself to the light ,your hair a mess around Levi’s chest.

Levi loved many things about you , but if he ever had to make a list , your morning face would probably be in the first place. He loved how he was the only one able to witness you like this , but also how you loved and trusted him enough to be able to do so. His hand brushed through you hair, untangling some knots that had former over the night at the same time.

“It’s not everyday I get to wake up you with you by my side.”

“And do you prefer when I’m here or when I’m at work ?” he asked, a small smile on the face as he looked at you. He didn’t think he could ever understand how a single person could make him feel so much emotions , emotions sometimes so bright he wondered if they weren’t making him a complete other man.

You gently slapped Levi on the face , laughing at his question. “Do I even need to answer that , or do you just want me to remind you of how in love I am ?”

The word love made Levi’s heart fluster ; no matter how long you’d been together, how often you said the words , they still had the same effect as the first time he’d heard them.

“I think I just want more praises. Good for my ego.”

“Who knew Levi Ackerman was such a narcissist.”

Smiling into your hair, Levi kissed your forehead , and then proceeded to give you light kisses on every bit of skin he could attain. He felt at peace , with himself and even with the world; and he suddenly thought that he’d still feel like this even if you’d been sleeping on the floor or even in the snow outside. It didn’t matter where he was,as long as you were with him.

“You’re going to be late.” you stated ,without doing anything to break from Levi’s embrace. He nodded, muttering “I know” as he tightened his grip around you, not moving.

“You know, since the window’s open,we can tell Erwin you’re sick. We’ll say that you caught a cold or a terrible disease that force you to stay by my side if you don’t want to dramatically drop dead on the floor.”

Levi’s made a sound half between a laugh and a groan , and answered : “ He won’t believe it , but since I never missed work ever since I’ve joined the scouts…I think he’s not going to complain too much.”

And, this time kissing your lips, Levi Ackerman chose to take the first day off of his life , just so he could stay in bed with you all day.

Levi had never really fantasized about kissing someone. About being intimate with someone,about having a relationship and experiencing true love. It just wasn’t in his nature ; it had never crossed his mind,and he’d never found someone who could summon these thoughts in him.

But all of this had disappeared the instant he met you. He became fully aware,for the first time, of someone else’s existence, fully aware of how alive you were, and how that could change so easily in the world you lived in. He wanted to get to know you more,wanted to spend all the minutes available in your presence ; and he feared that.

He was afraid of how all his thoughts were now about you, about your lips, your gestures, your voice ; everything that made you who you were. He couldn’t stop himself from acting like a teenage boy and playing on repeat the smallest of your interactions , making up,at the same time, fake scenarios that kept him up all night,blushing into his pillows.

He’d never thought about anyone else romantically, and he didn’t know if it was normal to be this much into someone ,to want this much to kiss them,hold them, press their hands into his. He felt young,younger than he’d ever felt,as if ,with this bright feeling he had, he was standing under a ray of sunshine. He was completely in love with you, and deep down, he knew you were the only person could he experience these feelings with. You were the person he’d been waiting for his whole life, without even knowing he was searching for it.

just a bunch of random soft levi headcanons <3

.He only adopted a regular and “healthy” sleep schedule when the two of you started sleeping in the same bed ; and he’ll never admit it but falling asleep into your arms,and being able check that you’re still there,still alive when he wakes up from a nightmare makes him enjoy sleeping more than he ever did before.

. He used to be really awkward and a blushing mess every time the two of you hugged or cuddled at the beginning of your relationship. He was just so unused to physical affection that it always made him really flustered ; he didn’t know how to accept it,and above all,how to
react to it. But after a while,(and a lot of reassurance from your side that you liked hugging/cuddling him),he literally couldn’t let go of you anymore and was always with his arms wrapped around you.

.He thinks the most romantic thing about you ,things like comparing your smile to the sun and your laugh to an angel , but he NEVERsays it out loud. He’s literally mentally writing poems about you,noticing every single details about your person ,but never lets anyone know about it , because he feels like it will look as if he’s doing too much ( and because,yes,Levi ackerman is also too shy to say these type of stuff).

.When he has a bad day and come home angry, the only way for him to calm down is to hug you,or to have any sort of physical contact with you. Your presence is the only thing that can make him forget his problems, and ,just by burying his face into your neck, he’d be able to forget everything and calm his soul.

“ i like shining things , but i’d marry you with paper rings”

summary : levi being afraid of real engagement so he and reader gets “engaged” with paper rings. (not proof read)

“Have you ever thought about getting married,Levi ?”

The question, unexpected, seemed to float in the room,taking Levi aback and leaving him at lack of words. His arms,wrapped around you as you were both silently laying on the bed,seemed to froze,and his body felt more tense than a few seconds ago. He didn’t know why you were asking him this all of sudden ; why your mind had suddenly wandered on this topic .

“Not really.” he answered after a while. He wasn’t being entirely honest with this answer ; and he knew,by the way you slowly shook your head,that you’d heard the lie in these two words.

“Let’s just say I never seriously considered it. I thought about it but…I never saw it as a real possibility.” he said again,slowly. This answer was closer to the truth ; Levi indeed thought about marrying you,and if he was being honest,he thought about it quite often.

The thought of marriage had never even crossed Levi’s mind before he met you , but recently,he’d found himself thinking about this idea more often. He knew you couldn’t actually get married ; the world you two lived in was too dangerous,and some part of him also feared that if your relationship became as official as a marriage would make it, something would happen,life would take you away from him and he would somehow get punished for thinking he could have and keep someone for once.

This was why he’d never seriously thought about proposing to you ; thinking of being married was more like a daydream to him,something that help him relax after a stressful day. Yes,he may have looked at some rings,or imagined what he could wear ; but he’d never imagined that one day you could actually get married. It was something not worth risking , and he knew he’d only get more scared of losing you if he became your husband.

“I mean…” you said,breaking the silence and interrupting Levi’s thoughts at the same time. “ I think it’d be better to wait until the war,the titans ,everything…It’d be better to wait until all of this is finished to get married. We’ll be able to do it properly then.”

Levi’s heart missed a beat at the thought that you saw a future with him,and above all,that you were hopeful about the outcome of your current situation. He nodded,pressing a small kiss on the top of your head at the same time.

“But even then I don’t want something extravagant. Let’s have a quiet marriage.”

He heard you laugh as you suddenly moved and started to look for something on the floor; and he was also almost certain that you’d called him a “party pooper”. A few seconds later,having apparently found what you were looking for,you leaned back into Levi and his embrace,holding,to his surprise,some sheets of paper.

“Just give me a few seconds , and you’ll understand.” you muttered,answering to Levi’s puzzled expression. You quickly teared the paper,seemed to play with it and,a few seconds later,you proudly held what looked like two rings. They looked pretty terrible in Levi’s opinion, but he didn’t dare to voice his thoughts after seeing how happy of yourself you looked.

“Paper rings. Sasha taught me how to make them.”

You grabbed Levi’s left hand and slowly passed the paper ring on his finger, trying your best not to break it at the same time. Understanding what you were doing,Levi’s heart skipped a beat again he suddenly felt like the whole room had grew hotter.

“This is…A safe way to get married,let’s say. Or ,if the word married disturb you,let’s say it’s just to show each other our love and our care, ;and that it’s also a sort of promise that ,if the situation lets us… one day we will put real rings on our fingers.”

You placed a kiss on Levi’s hand while he grabbed the second paper ring, looking suddenly really timid. He locked his eyes into yours while he put the ring on your finger ; and his eyes said all the words that couldn’t pass his mouth.

“Does that mean I should call you Y/n Ackerman now ?” he asked,making you laugh again as you leaned forward to kiss him.

“I don’t mind that…Except that, if you do it, it’ll probably be impossible to make Hange shut up afterwards.They’ll get excited and everything , and will ask why we didn’t say anything…”

Levi groaned, kissing you again and interrupting you at the same time.His hand went through your hair,and he could feel some strands of it getting attached to the ring. He knew it will break easily, and that in the morning he probably won’t have it anymore ; but all the meaning behind this small paper ring was still enough to make him feel overwhelmed by love.

He just hoped that one day he’ll get the chance to put a real ring on your finger, one that will not break,one that will represent your story and the love you have for each other.

the first time y/n tries to cuddle with a blushing and stuttering levi who can barely make a sentence

“You want …to…cuddle ?” Levi asked again,his brows so furrowed it looked as if you’d just asked him to resolve a particularly difficult math problem. You nodded to his question ,and he took in a deep,shaky breath,turning his eyes away from you and looking at the bed with a look of utter horror.

“We don’t have to,Levi…I just thought…If it makes you uncomfortabe,let’s not do it,okay ? It’s fine.”

Levi shook his head,still looking at the bed. “I don’t know how to do it.” he muttered,his voice so low you didn’t know if you’d heard him properly. A soft smile appeared on your face as you looked at him, being suddenly so vulnerable and far from his usual so composed self.

“It’s not something you learn to do, you just…follow your instinct while doing it,I guess ? But,again,we don’t have to do it.”

Levi shook his head again. “No let’s...” he coughed,trying to hide his stuttering . “Okay.Fine.But start because I don’t know how.”

Levi’s face had turned a bright shade of red,and it became an even deeper colour when you wrapped your arms around him and leant on the bed. The daylight disappeared as Levi buried his face into the crook of your neck,taking a deep,shaky breath at the same time. He could feel his heart beating faster than usual,and he suddenly wondered if you could hear it too.His arms stood by his side as he awkwardly tried to think of whatto do with them,and he suddenly felt like a little kid ; he didn’t remember ever being held like that,being held by someone and feeling their love through their embrace.

“Do you mind if I …?” he began, his hand a few inches from your waist as he waited for you to accept his touch, face still buried in your neck. You pressed a small kiss on his forehead,and Levi felt as if a thousand of fireworks had just exploded inside his body.

“No,Levi,I don’t mind at all.”

He knew he didn’t have to ask,knew you would prefer for him to just go for it and not wait for your approval before touching you ; but he was always afraid he might do something that made you feel bad,that hurt you and made you want to leave him. He wanted to touch you all the time,even if it was just something light,and he was afraid to do it and make you run away ; afraid that you might understand and fear how much he loved you and thought about you.

But he chased these thoughts away as he slowly wrapped his arms around, your bodies now so close to each other you almost became one. He was surrounded by your smell,every single part of his body touching one of yours ; and he suddenly felt so overwhelmed by his feelings,by the luck he had to experience something like this in such an horrible world , that he would have cried for the first time in what felt years if the moment hadn’t been so bright.

He pressed light kisses on your neck as your hands played with his hair ; and he felt a sudden urge to do a thousand things he never usually did : he wanted to hum ,wanted to express all his feelings,he wanted to smile,laugh and be happy. He felt as if all the happy feelings he’d never experienced through his years of despair had just suddenly appeared between your arms ; that you were the remedy for this curse he’d been living. You were bright,brighter than anything he’d ever seen and he didn’t know why you’d chose him,but he was happy you did.

He felt at peace between your arms,felt at peace just by being able to hold you,to linger his fingers over your skin,to enjoy your presence. And he thought that,after all,cuddling wasn’t so bad ; actually,he hoped you felt like him,and that you wouldn’t want to end it,that you wanted to hug him for all eternity and forget about everything else.

just a very flustered levi who still hasn’t got used to dating y/n

Levi didn’t think he’d ever felt this aware of someone else’s presence next to him. You were sitting next to each other,legs touching,while you told Levi all about your day ; but no matter how hard he focused,he didn’t seem to be able to understand a single word of what you were saying,his mind too busy thinking about how close you were.

You’d been dating for a short time now ( even though,as Hange liked to mention , you’d been acting like a couple way before finally confessing to each other) but,despite the two of you being officially partners , Levi still hadn’t got used to it. He still acted as if he wasn’t allowed to touch you,to kiss you,to tell you how he felt ; and he still turned a deep shade of red whenever you did these to him.

Suddenly,dragging him out of his thoughts,Levi felt a weight on his shoulder. Turning a bit,his heart missing a beat at the same time,he saw your face,leaning on his shoulder,and eyes focused on him.

“You’re not listening .” you stated,without an ounce of reproach in your voice. Levi nodded,knowing that he wouldn’t be able to talk with you this close to him. He found it quite funny (or embarassing ,he didn’t really know ) that he could easily kill titans, but was flustered just because of one person.

“Can’t focus.” he muttered, his eyes locked into yours,suddenly feeling as if the whole world had just disappeared around him to move into your eyes.

“And why that ?” None of you dared to break the eye contact,and Levi suddenly felt as if the temperature had just drastically increased ; and he wondered ,unreally ,if the house wasn’t on fire.

“You.That’s what.” He was so lost into your eyes that his mouth spoke before he could think of a proper answer. Feeling suddenly really flustered,he almost turned his eyes away,but at the same time a broad smile appeared on your face ,and he didn’t dare to look away,afraid to miss this sight.

“That’s great then. I was telling a lot of shitty stuff because I couldn’t really focus either.”

He didn’t know how that had happened,but your faces were now mere inches to each other. “And why couldn’t you focus ?” he asked,your smile increasing with his question.

“You.That’s what.” you answered,kissing him at the same time. He could feel you smiling through the kiss,and he suddenly thought he could die of it,die because of you and the way you made him feel.

He didn’t know if he deserved to have these feelings,deserved to love someone so much he didn’t care about anything else. He didn’t know if he deserved this,but he was for sure not going to let it go. His hands then found their place on your cheeks as he kissed you back,forgetting everything that had ever existed before you,everything else that existed in the same time as you ; his solely existence only consisting of this kiss,and of you,and of the love he felt.

Levi slowly realizing he is in love

for part one

(a/n): I don’t know how long I’m going to drag this out, honestly. I just like writing for it <3

masterlist||navigation||ao3

It’s excruciatingly slow, but the walls Levi had built so high begin to chip; each smile you send his way is another crack in the concrete. He should have built them better, sturdier, perhaps with metal? Though his efforts are in vain, he fights it tooth and nail. 

The last four months have been brutal, Hange keeps pestering him to ask you out, Armin keeps trying to make advances- and worst of all: you don’t visit as often. He’s lucky to have you in his office once a week, compared to the everyday he’d gotten used to.

Levi hates change, truly.

He hated your visits the first few weeks, but he didn’t have the heart to kick you out, asyou were great at being quiet and filling out paperwork.

Now, the work seems intimidating, piled a mile high — not to add the silence, he’d gotten used to the sound of your pen on paper, the quiet yawns you’d fight back on exceptionally late nights, the clink of your tea cup that would make you wince everytime you sat it down; he could go on. 

“Levi~,” Hange sang, cheerful as ever. “I’ve got good news- oh,” they took in his appearance: hair messy, darker eyebags than usual, deep frown etched onto his face, “Bad time…?”

He doesn’t remember them knocking or him saying come in, but he is too tired to bitch. “No, what do you need, four-eyes?” the nickname had become less degrading and more..affectionate overtime.

With a jump in their step, they plopped down in the wooden seat across from him, “I have good news, it’s about your little birdy, (y/n).” the mention of your name had him visibly perked up, Hange had to stifle a laugh. “Armin finally got the courage to ask her out, yeah?”

His face fell, there was no way in hell that little s- “hey, hey, Levi I haven’t even finished, let that poor pen go.”

Levi sat the pen down next to a document, a death certificate for a young scout named Henisey Lorpan, waiting to be signed, “I don’t care about my cadets love lives, Hange. If this is all you came to me for, then you are excused.”

His day was officially ruined, he wouldn’t be leaving his office for anything.

Hange smiled, shaking their head as they giggled, “Like I said, not done. She said no, she already has her eye on someone,” they paused, gauging the captain’s response before continuing. “Mhm, should’ve seen the poor kid, looked like a kicked puppy.”

Once again, Levi grumbled, “You’re dism-”

They cut him off, standing from the chair to leave, “Point is, I think she likes you, Levi.” The soft click of the door filled the room.

He picks the red pen up, signs his name onto the parchment and sets it aside.

______________________

There are two things Levi must learn. One: how to share, and two: how to swallow his pride.

It’s impossible, that’s how it feels, at least. Levi is losing his grip every passing day, watching other men flirt with you- god forbid they touch you.

Hange’s words repeat in his mind, they have never been one to lie to him, but how likely was it that you liked a man twice your age?

He does not have the upper hand and he hates it, almost as much as he hates the way you make him feel.

Levi would love to ignore the way your hands feel on his arm; soft and nothing like his, the way your eyes look up at him, all tired and sleepy- something he wishes to wake up to, forever.

You’ve been nothing but kind to him, determined to prove your worth and keep your spot on his squad. Though, the only way you’d leave is if a titan pried you from his cold, dead arms.

“Sorry I’m late, captain,” you rushed, balancing the tea in one hand and your books in the other. “Armin held me up, wanted to tell me about glow jellies- pretty cool, honestly.” a soft smile adorned your features, he could tell you had a soft spot for the kid.

He dismissed you, the corner of his lips upturning ever-so-slightly, “A simple apology would have sufficed, cadet.”

It was clock-work, you’d read a book on the sofa, occasionally you’d get up and help with paperwork if there was a ton, but otherwise you kept to yourself; just how Levi liked it.

Against better judgment, Levi cleared his throat, glancing your way, “Hange mentioned Armin asking you out,” the book in your hand fell, hitting you square in the face with a thud. “Not to be a cock block or anything, but if it interferes with yours or his performance, I will have to remove him from my squad, understood?”

He itched to hear what you would say, whether you would deny it or not.

“Levi,” your voice was sweet, dropping formalities with the captain due to peer shock. “Me and Armin..we aren’t- I don’t like him like that. He’s my best friend, I assure nothing is going on.”

A moment passed, you felt like you could die from embarrassment.

“Alright,” he studies you for a moment, stone eyes taking in your appearance; your clothes are messier than usual, but he nods, content with your answer.

______________________

Two more months go by, he knows he has to do something, to tell you and get it over with or this feeling will swallow him whole- that is if Hange doesn’t get to him first, he thinks.

If he wasn’t so sure they’d turn him into titan bait for their experiments, he’d think about letting them have their way.

Snow sets in, falling from the sky at a steady pace. You’re out there, making a snowman with Armin and Jean. The carrot has bite marks, no doubt from Sasha, but no one cares.

“Jean!” He hears you yell, you’re so close to his window. “You’re gonna…snow….doing that!”

Your voice is muffled, he can only catch snippets of your conversation.

Levi doesn’t notice Hange sitting across from him, he doesn’t notice them getting up and putting their hand on the curtain to pull it back, “Cute snowman,” they comment, watching as Levi startles at their -not so- sudden intrusion. “Kind of creepy that you’re listening to them.”

He frowns, not daring to peek behind him to see the snowman- or you, for the matter, “Get out,” but Hange doesn’t budge, instead they open the window and call out-

“Hey, cadets, cute snowman! Can you come to Levi’s office, Cadet (l/n)?”

Matchmaker Hange mode has been activated, Levi can see it in their eyes.

His ghost haunts me

Levi Ackerman x Reader // gn!reader

“ his ghost haunts me, but he is not dead. Levi Ackerman is the furthest thing from dead ”

A short imagine, will be turned into a oneshot, but for now I like it too much to not post a snippet

Navigation||Masterlist||Ao3

In your dreams, he is there- every time you close your eyes, he is there. Levi is neither dead nor a ghost, but he haunts you all the same. Whispered confessions filter through your ears; “I love you,” but love isn’t enough for the Ackerman to stay, he considers it a weakness and humanity’s strongest is not allowed to have a weakness.

So he leaves, the broken expression on his face apology enough, but you don’t want expressions, you want words- words that match his expression. 

Humanity’s strongest is nothing but a coward, you’ve decided. Cowards run away, they don’t stick around to find out; cowards let society’s expectations suffocate them in its grip. Though, you admit, it is comforting: knowing what is expected of you. Levi knows what he is capable of, what he is supposed to be, one can not blame him for following through no matter how bad you want to.

‘Levi is not dead,’ you think. ‘But he haunts me.’

What he could have been- should have been, haunts you. Late night talks, hot chamomile tea in hand, ‘he could have been so much more than humanities greatest,’ but he never will. You can still feel his smile, the way his lips curved before placing a chaste kiss against your neck. Levi wanted more, at least that night under the cold sheets, he wanted more.

It takes a mere second for change to occur, perhaps those 20 seconds of silence after his confessions, when your hand raked through his hair and after you both burst into giggles, he decided he did not want that.

You no longer share a room, but you cannot help but wonder if he’s washed away your scent; if he has thrown away the half burned sandalwood candle you’d fought tooth and nail to keep and if your half of the bed would still mold to your body.

He is unforgettable and maybe it’s the memories shared that makes it seem that way, but Levi lingers. In the halls, in your bed, on your skin, on the very tips of your fingers; he lingers. 

“It’s been how long?” Jean asks, sighing as he takes a seat beside you. “What will it take for you to get over him?”

‘Time’ you think, turning your attention towards him, “It will take time, Jean.” you’ve told him the same thing a million times before. “How long will it take you to get over Mikas-”

A hand is clamped over your mouth, he is giving you a death stare- one that says ‘shut the fuck up,’ so you shut the fuck up, but not without licking his hand.

He frowns, pulling his hand away rather slowly as he watches you. “That was disgusting,” Jean grumbles, wiping the hand on his shirt. “I can’t believe you just licked me- you don’t even know what I’ve done with this hand.”

Now you frown, he is right hand dominant and you think you’re going to be sick. “Yep, my day is even more ruined.”

“Woah, captain’s lookin’ at you,” Jean teases, nudging your shoulder. “Oh, he’s walking over her-”

Levi clears his throat, you wince. Moments pass, a word has yet to be spoken. One can hope he will walk away, again. 

“Cadet (L/N),” he starts, eyes boring down at you. Levi is irritated, you can feel it. “My office after training, don’t be late." 

You want to ask why, ‘why would you want me back there’, but instead you nod, "Yes captain” falling from your chapped lips. 

The potato soup on your plate has gone cold, so you find Sasha and give it to her, you don’t have an appetite anyway- Levi took it with him, who knows if he’ll give it back.

Teaching Levi how to eat pussy for the first time

Minors DNI

Levi x fem!reader

Warnings: smut, oral sex (fem receiving), mentions of sex, first time having oral sex

A/N: this is quite rushed :/ & barely edited, idk whether to make a part 2 sorry for any mistakes! Lmk if I missed anything in the warnings

“Have you ever had sex before?”

A mere eyeroll came from the raven haired man sitting on the far end of the couch. 

Not even tearing his eyes away from the screen. 

Making sure not to show any kind of response to your question. 

Or to any of them as a matter of fact. 

It was something he had quickly equipped to doing after being your roommate for 2 months.

If he had known you’d be throwing absurd questions at him like this he would’ve much rather live alone and struggle to pay the bills himself. Perhaps he saw it as karma for asking Hange for find a roommate for him.

He let out a sigh, clearly not in the mood for one of your stupid conversations. He simply ignored you, an arm propped up on the armrest of the couch holding his head up with his grey eyes glued to the screen in front of you.

All he wanted was to watch a movie. In peace. Just for once. Without your stupid questions, stupid nagging ,without  listening to your stupid voice about your stupid problems and your stupid-

“Oi.” you poked at him with your feet, immediately met with his classic death glare, “It’s rude to ignore people ya’ know.”

He let out another sigh this time rubbing his hand across his face in exhaustion of not only you but everything else in his fucking life.

“What’d you want?” he replied quieter than usual yet you noticed that the aggravation was still in his voice.

“I asked you if you’d ever had sex before.” you repeated playfully.

“Yes. “ he muttered, questioning to himself exactly when would be an appropriate time to retreat back to his room. “Why does it matter to you?” 

You shrugged keeping your eyes on the sullen figure, “Just curious…you just look like someone whose never had sex.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” he uttered, finally pulling away from the screen to glance at you threateningly.

“I’m kidding! Jeez.” you teased, “It’s so easy to get you riled up.”

“Who wouldn’t get annoyed listening to you and your stupid questions every day.” he deadpanned.

To this you struck your chest, feigning pain “Ouch. That one hurt Levi.”

“Good.” Grey orbs returned back to the screen, hoping to put an end to the conversation and to finally watch his movie in peace.

Key word. Hope.

“How’d you have sex?”

If Levi would roll his eyes all the way back into his head and die, he would gladly do it right now. “How do you think people have sex.” he snapped, voice growing thick with irritance.

“No, no… I mean what do you do during sex?”

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose; a sign that his patience was wearing thin. “Why you sure care a lot about my sex life. Now, you’re starting to act like someone who doesn’t have any sex.”

 “My sex life is perfectly fine thank you very much, even better than perfect.” you barked back.

He raised a brow doubtfully “Is that so?”

“I don’t need to prove myself to you.” You crossed your arms and faced back to the movie. At this point you didn’t even  understand what was going on.

“Neither do I.” Levi sighed, grateful to put an end to the conversation.

“Yeah, well you look like you have boring sex anyways. You’ve probably never eaten a girl out.”

A long pause filled the room.

You took a double take at him, noticing how his expression hadn’t changed and the fact that he had yet to correct you.

“Oh my God…”

Levi has never been more eternally grateful that the lights were off right now. He knew he wouldn’t have heard the end of it if you saw the red glow that swept across his face.

“I’m not talking to you anymore.” he merely muttered.

“Wait, wait, wait are you being serious right now?.” you moved out of your seat to crawl closer towards him.

Intimidated by your movement he suddenly stood  before you could notice his face burning up. “I’m going to my room.”

Hastily, you grabbed his wrist and you weren’t entirely sure why. 

Perhaps it was the guilt of teasing him to the point where you had embarrassed him but the first time ever as you made eye contact with him you became speechless for a split second.

“I- I can help you if you want” you blurted, the words spilling out of your mouth before you could even comprehend them.

He raised a brow with an unusual face of confusion that you had rarely seen.

“I mean I could teach you I guess…” you corrected, awkward with the way you had to word it. Levi stood silently glancing away from you. You saw him questioning himself intensely. You noticed how a crease formed in the middle of his brows. 

For a second Levi opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it the next. He shut his eyes and sighed, finally coming out with the words that he wanted to say.

“I don’t want to make things weird.”

“Well it wouldn’t be.” you reassured him. “It’s not like we have feelings for each other. I’m just helping you out.”

“Right.” he lied. He took a seat next to you on the couch. An obvious awkward aura was in the air, neither of you knowing how to make the first move.

“You don’t have to do this.” he mumbled, addressing the hesitation. His voice was softer than usual like a few moments before.

“I want to.” you replied with a reassuring smile, “You don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”

A short pause passed before you moved back on the couch, laying down beside him. He watched you briefly contemplating deeply for a moment before positioning between your legs.

Swiftly you pulled down your sweatpants along with your panties and laid back head resting upon the pillow.

If you were told two months ago that you would be lying bare in front of your new roommate, teaching him how to please a girl, you would’ve laughed in their face.

You distracted yourself from your inner thoughts by staring up at the ceiling wondering which shade of white the landlord picked for this room, soon distrubed by Levi’s hand nudging your knees. You flinched slightly at the sudden contact but brushed it off by acting like you were trying to get more comfortable.

Quicker than you had anticipated he was positioned right in front of your core, and a slight shiver swept across your body as he gravelly spoke.

“How should I start?”

You took a short breath before you explained, “S-start off slow, warm up to her a little bit. Be assuring but also gentle too.” you desperately hoped he didn’t notice your stutter, “Don’t be too hesitant about it otherwise she might be insecure, you know?”

He hummed in response. You swallowed unsure why a vibration swept through you.

Levi positioned his hands at the back of your thighs, startling you, “Is this okay?”

“Uh huh” you nodded, unknowingly biting your lip patiently waiting for the moment he would make the first move. The room was quiet apart from inaudible sounds from the tv playing in the background, you tried to focus on the dialogue distracting yourself from the booming  of your heartbeat in your ears.

Following your instructions he slowly dragged his tongue across the entrance of your lips once and then twice. You held your breath at the action, hands clasped into a tight fist. 

He continued licking over your core again slowly and howagonizinglyslow he was as his tongue parted your folds; his llicks turning to soft kisses.

A heavy sigh left your mouth and your body was still tense, unsure whether it was from the fact that you were still feeling awkward or that your roommate was between your thighs. Most likely both.

Soft and gentle just like you told him. You wonder whether it was a mistake telling him to start off slow as your breath starts to hitch at every touch.In an attempt to free the tension in the room; voice still breathy as you spoke, “You sure you know where the clit is?”

Without warning Levi’s toungue brushed over your slit as he hummed into your pussy forcing a sharp gasp to spill out of your mouth. A muffled sound escaped from his mouth which you took as a classic “shut up”’.

He remained at a gradual pace, his tongue exploring your cunt letting your sweet taste electrify his body. You were addictive and different, is this really what he’d been missing out on? 

Even so he wanted more and he made sure you’d know this by moving on to sucking your clit earning in another surprised gasp from you, your hips jerking into his mouth.

As soon as you glanced between your thighs you were met with harsh grey eyes staring back at you relentlessly. He had a look in his eyes that you’d never seen before. It was a mix of lust, hunger and desire. Another whine left your mouth as he circled your clit with your tongue causing your thighs to tremble.

“You’re so wet” he purred, stopping briefly before returning back to your cunt now letting his sloppy noises spill into the room.

“Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” you murmured, noticing how he now turned to a rhythmic pace, stroking over your clit. Your hands now gripped onto the flesh of the couch every now and then rolling your hips into his mouth as he hungrily devoured you.

“Am I doing this right?”

“Uh huh.” You nodded, once again speechless. Skin burning up as you felt a tension arise in your abdomen.

You noted how Levi was a quick learner, his short long strokes now turning into desperate, quick strokes. You no longer held back your satisfied moan; throwing your head back as you shut your eyes in ecstasy.

He hummed into your cunt, eyes never leaving your frame. He observed which spots made you squirm against him pushing his tongue deeper to gain a choked whimper from you. No more did he find your voice irritating, no instead he lapped at your soaked cunt in order to gain more sweet notes from you.

The way you repeated his name endlessly, soft pleas of him to not stop. Not that he ever could if he tried. He noticed how your back arched and how your muscles tightened as he brought you closer to your finish.

He didn’t want to miss this moment, eyes locked onto you, barely blinkling. “Look at me.” he purred, hoarse voice catching your attention. “Do you want me to stop?” 

You shook your head whimpering, “No, don’t stop please… please, just like that.” your hips now rolled in synch with his tongue your moans spiraling with every glide as he fucked you with his tounge. Your hand reached down, gently caressing his undercut with your fingertips as he ate you as if you were his last ever meal.

With your juices now running down his chin he met a hungry tempo listening to your pleads to go faster and faster. Your warning of your orgasm approaching came nearer and nearer.

With a simple hum of “Cum for me.” vibrating your cunt, your whole body tensed gripping his locks. A broken mess of moans spilled from your mouth, Levi still softly lapping at your pussy cleaning you up bringing you down from your climax.

One last shudder of your hips he pulled away from you, a glossy mix of your juices and your cum smeared across his lips.

“How was that?” he asked innocently, face impassive as if he didn’t just eat you out for the first time.

For what seemed like the thousandth time tonight you had no words, brain unable to construct a single sentence.

“Uhh…that was good.” you muttered, thighs still shaking unaware that you were still gripping the couch.

“Can we try that again?”