#avengers christmas

headcanon that Nat’s favorite but most painful holiday is Christmas. She‘s always just wanted a family, but somehow it’s never worked out. For those few years in Ohio she had her family and she got to buy presents for her sister and decorate the tree with her dad and make cookies with her mom. But that was all fake. And in the back of her mind she knew it wasn’t real so she could never fully relax and let herself enjoy Christmas.

and in the red room of course she didn’t have any Christmases or anything close to a family. She would be on a mission in December and look in the lighted windows of homes and see families decorating Christmas trees and making gingerbread houses and wrapping presents for each other. and for a moment she wanted that so badly she couldn’t think about anything else.

But then she would shake herself and go back to her mission.

so Nat was scared for that first Christmas in avengers tower. She was scared it wouldn’t be like everything she dreamed. She was scared the people who were quickly becoming her family wouldn’t be enough. she was scared she didn’t know how to do Christmas.

but the moment on December 1 when Nat went shopping for presents for the avengers it started to feel real. And the moment on December 15 when Peter, her spider baby, ran up to her and asked her excitedly if she wanted to bake cookies with the rest of the team it started to feel like home. And the moment on Christmas when everyone woke up early and opened their presents and laughed together and hugged each other it started to feel like family.

Nat looked around and realized she finally had a family.