Rhys and Azriel’s Conversation

“You believe you deserve to be her mate?”

I think a lot of people are poorly misunderstanding Rhys’ question to Az about deserving Elain here. It really bothers me that people started to freak out about Rhys and Az’s dynamic after (mis)reading this one conversation. There seems to be a couple of issues causing the confusion:

1. Interpreting the words
2. Context

The first half of all the confusion seems to be a problem of language. Sarah might’ve chosen a less ambiguous word here but, alas, here we are.

So.

Deserve: to have earned or to be given something because of the way you have behaved or the qualities you have. (Cambridge Dictionary)

Deserve: do something or have or show qualities worthy of (a reaction which rewards or punishes as appropriate). (Oxford Dictionary)

Obviously both these definitions are different and you can probably see where this is going.

In the same vein, two synonymous phrases to ‘deserve’ are ‘to be entitled to’and‘to be worthy of’. We see that the word can be used to describe either of those attitudes. For the latter, Rhys asking Az if he actually believes he’s worthy of Elain would be so, so bad - and also completely and ridiculously out of character. Rhys constantly talks about how much it hurts him to see Az (and Cassian) believe that he’s a worthless bastard and even expresses this to Feyre on multiple occasions. So for him to to turn around and imply that Az wasn’t worthy of Elain would be so uncharacteristic of Rhys’ personality. But Rhys asking Az if he thinks he’s entitled to Elain’s affection makes much more sense in this context - and also how we’d expect Rhys to respond to Az’s words just before this question: “What if the Cauldron was wrong?… The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it’s possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another.” To which Rhys responds: “You believe you deserve to be her mate?” The context of the conversation makes it obvious that Rhys is freaked out because it sounds like Az feels he’s entitled to the third sister because of some sort of Cauldron-math - not the possibility that Elain herself might choose Az. Azriel never even mentions considering Elain’s choice in this whole conversation, even if he might have thought about it privately. So it seems obvious where Rhys’ line of thought would go, what he would be concerned about. He was obviously making a point about how fucked up it would be if Az were to think he deserves Elain as if she were an object. Like one would deserve a trophy or prize. As if Elain’s affection is EXPECTED to be directed at Az by the Cauldron/fate because HE thinks so. That he is somehow entitled to Elain.

Bear in mind that Rhys is a male who’s obsessed with choice (because his own was taken away) and who himself didn’t ever allow himself to believe that he was entitled to his own mate’s love. There are plenty of men who believe themselves entitled to a woman for all sorts of reasons - so it’s not a stretch that Rhys would be disturbed to hear something that sounds similar to entitlement in Az’s words. Especially since it’s obvious that Az is in a dark place (not sleeping, sad eyes, standing in the doorway throughout Solstice celebrations) and Rhys has obviously noted this. People can try to justify all sorts of attitudes when they’re in such a dark place (See: Nesta).

All this context is important to this conversation, guys!

Gwynriel FanFic - I think I lost our bet

Chapter 5 : Butterflies

Chapter Synopsis : Azriel’s thought process, And a bit T/W of Gwyn’s past. Only one or two lines are there, but they’re there.

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Since the last few days, Gwyn had been sleeping in Azriel’s room. Everything had been going smoothly. Azriel didn’t have to awkwardly ask Gwyn to come to his room. She just automatically came, bid him goodnight, and slept on the bed.

Gwyn was a space - occupying sleeper. At the start of the night, She would be curled up on her left side, but when the sun shone through her auburn locks in the morning, Azriel could see her legs sprayed out, one over his leg and out of the blanket, and one in it. Her hands would he resting on her eyes.

Though Azriel always felt her leg on his, her body covering 70% of the bed (despite Azriel and his wings, Gwyn occupied more space) and giving him barely 30%, he didn’t mind it and neither did he need to tell her.

He actually liked it, it made him feel like someone was constantly there for him. Even if it was a small gesture like their legs touching each other.

Azriel used to wake up in the morning much earlier than her. He used to stare at her face for 5 minutes, like a creep.

He used to count her freckles. It was the first thing he did every morning. He sectioned her face and made it his goal to count at least the freckles on one part.

He knew it was creepy but it calmed him. He was also very thankful that his nightmares were at bay. He was glad to know that hers were too.

He didn’t know for sure if she had nightmares or not. Her beautiful peaceful sleeping face revealed nothing. But he knew that something as painful as that incident at Sangravah would give someone nightmares.

It gave him nightmares. Nightmares in which he wasn’t able to protect her. Gwyn’s sobbing voice echoing through his mind as a man thrust into her - “You weren’t fast enough.”

Azriel was taken aback when he heard Gwyn slam the door behind her and very angrily lie down on the bed. Azriel said nothing but watched her with a raised eyebrow.

When Gwyn didn’t tell him goodnight for another few minutes, Azriel knew something was wrong. Gwyn always said goodnight, even on the nights in which she came a bit late and Azriel was (pretending) asleep, he heard her whisper a goodnight to him.

“What’s wrong priestess?”, he asked worriedly as he lied down on the bed beside her. When Gwyn didn’t reply he asked again, it made him worry.

Was she mad at me? Did something happen? Did someone do something to her? No. No. She’s an independent women who’s very capable of protecting herself. But did something happen? What happened?

Azriel then went towards Gwyn side, and lent on her body a bit. “What’s wrong Gwyn?”

He heard Gwyn sighed and mutter a ‘nothing’.

Not gonna let you go so easily love.

Azriel couldn’t see her face, it was covered with her hair.

Azriel wanted to see her face. Her eyes, her freckles. Her pointed nose and crinkled eyes when she smiled. Her narrowed eyes when she said something egoistic and her rolling eyes when he said or did something stupid just to see her smile.

Azriel gently removed the hair from her face. She was lying on her side and facing the wall. When he did that, she didn’t stop it or flinch away.

She felt comfortable with me.

She didn’t look him in his eyes either. She was hiding something. Her eyes were a bit teary and cheeks a bit rosy. He knew she had been crying.

When Gwyn still didn’t look at him, he felt feeling in the pit of his stomach that he didn’t like.

He took her chin in his hands.

Look at me. Please. He begged her silently as if his sanity depended on it.

And for some reason she did.

She heard his silent plea. No one had ever heard his silent pleas before. They were ignored at the most crucial of times. The moments before which he knew he was close to a breakdown. He felt like this was one of those moments.

But now he wished that she hadn’t looked him in his eyes. Because his heart leaped in his chest for some reason.

His shadows had formed a crown over Gwyn’s head

And there were butterflies in his stomach from looking at the sight.

He gulped visibly and made sure his face remained neutral, but even he couldn’t hide the emotion from his eyes when he asked, “What’s wrong love?”

A/N : This has to be one of the best chapters I’ve ever written cause I just love it for some reason. Do comment if you like this type of writing ;)

Gwynriel Fanfic - I think I lost our bet

Chapter 4 : Sleeping

Chapter Synopsis : Azriel has a mini heart attack and Azriel and Gwyn sleep together

“So shall we get ready for bed?” Gwyn asked. “Yeah sure.” Azriel replied and went towards his bed. “I’ll just go and change then.” Gwyn said and went straight to his bathroom without waiting for his reply.

So they were really doing this. He was gonna help her get through her fears so that she could find a person to spend her life with. Azriel couldn’t stop himself from feeling a pang of jealousy.

He wasn’t sure if it was from imagining that he would be left lonely again and each one of his friends would have found their partner, or from imagining Gwyn with a guy.

—————-

Gwyn thanked the house for the pajamas and t-shirt that appeared in the bathroom. The bathroom was as big as a house and Gwyn could probably spend her entire life in there.

She changed into the night suit and fixed her hair a bit. She then brushed her teeth with the brush that had appeared on the slap. She had never really wore anything except her training leathers or her priestess robes until now, but when she looked at herself in the mirror, she liked the way she looked.

The t-shirt was more of a crop top than a shirt and it let a little bit of her naval show. But she wasn’t nervous in any way. She was actually very comfortable. A sudden hint of proudness hit her and she smiled.

I am the rock against which the surf crashes, nothing can break me.

She took a deep breath, and walked out of the bathroom.

——————

Azriel was just staring at the ceiling trying not to be nervous when he heard the closing of a door. His gaze snapped towards the sound that came from his left side of the room and saw Gwyn walking towards his bed.

She’s beautiful.

The first thought that came in his mind that Gwyn was absolutely beautiful. He had never ever seen her like that. Her hair open and a small smile on her face.

He’d always known Gwyn was beautiful, but he refrained himself from thinking that during training because it was unprofessional.

But acknowledging someone’s beautiful isn’t unprofessional shadowsinger.

And the words slipped out before he could stop them, “You’re beautiful.”

Azriel damned his shadows to hell because he could hear them chuckling while he was having a heart attack.

Gwyn’s eyes widened a bit before her face became neutral again, “Thank you.” And continued walking towards his bed.

She silently slipped under the covers. Azriel could hear her heart beating fast. But he was sure Gwyn could hear the beating of his heart as well.

Azriel could use his shadows to mask his scent, not his heart.

“Goodnight Az,” Gwyn said before turning towards Azriel and staring at him for a second before closing her eyes. “Goodnight Gwyn.”

A/N : Short chapter againnn I knowww but my finals are coming up and I’m also preparing for Gwynriel week :)

Gwynriel Fanfic - I think I lost our bet

Chapter 6 : Pathetic

Chapter Synopsis : What actually had happened with Gwyn, what went so wrong? Find out now.

———————

“What’s wrong love?” Azriel forced her gaze to meet his strong one.

Gwyn had never noticed until that moment that his eyes weren’t dark brown, they were hazel. They had swirls of gold around his iris, and they were clear as day but clouded at the same time.

Gwyn could see her reflection in his eyes, I look pathetic, wasthe first thought that came in her mind.

Pathetic.

Gwyn still remembered the scolding she had gotten from Merill not more than 30 minutes ago.

Gwyn had simply been working, minding her own business peacefully while translating the thousand year old work for Merill’s journal.

She was exhausted. She knew it. She was tired from practicing in the morning and training till the evening. Cassian had taught her this new method that she still wasn’t able to grasp.

But finally, after 8 hours of training, she had mastered that technique. She felt proud at the moment, but the next second her body collapse, and she felt the exhaustion dawn on her.

She hadn’t felt the pain while training because she was too focused on it. But now that pain was throbbing through her body and threatened it to shut down.

Even now, Gwyn’s body was begging her to do the work in her bed, cause the hard wood of the chair was killing her ass, and she was sure that she was gonna get cramps.

Her head felt heavy. Rest. Her brain begged her.

But she knew that Merill was gonna

Gwyn knew the pain was not going to let her focus on the work she was doing. So she agreed with to her body’s demands and laid her head down on the table. The coolness of it comforting her.

Just for five minutes.

Gwyn was woken by Merill eating her ear off.

The moment she heard Merill’s voice, she stood up straight.

“OF COURE, OF COURSE the useless priestess would love to fall asleep. Why are you even working for me Gwyneth? I could find someone much more useful than you. Why are you even here, pretending to work? It’s not even 7pm and you’re falling asleep. I wish I could say I was disappointed but I never expected anything from you. You are a disgrace to this library. People work their arses off here. You don’t deserve to live here. Your room could be occupied by someone who actually deserves to and is hard working. Look at your head, your hair, do you not have any manners?”

Gwyn tried to speak, “Merill I’m really sorry, I was just really exhausted today and-”

Merill scoffed and interrupted, “Excuses! All excuses! It must be in your nymph heritage to not work and simply rest. But then it was bound to happen wasn’t it? You were a mistake, everyone knows that. No low life nymph was supposed to mingle with a high fae. Your grandmother was pathetic, your mother was pathetic, you are pathetic.”

Gwyn was taken aback. She felt tears prickling her eyes. She would not cry. She would not cry.

I am the rock against which the surface crashes, nothing can break me.

She chanted the phrase in her head like a mantra but it didn’t give her the courage that she needed. It didn’t give her the courage to speak as Merill slammed the table with her books and walked away.

Gwyn sprinted to her room like a little child and slammed the door behind her. Not being able to hold her tears anymore, she went straight to the bathroom and muffled her mouth with her hand as she cried.

A/N : Sorry for the late posting, I have my exams and I forgot

ACOSF BONUS CHAPTER [SPOILERS]

IDK HOW Y'ALL DIDN’T FIND IT SO GROSS THAT AZRIEL REGIFTED ELAIN’S NECKLACE TO GWYN. I HOPE GWYN PULLS A CASSIAN AND TOSSES THAT BITCH IN THE SIDRA (to clarify, she would be tossing the necklace) (to clarify again, i wouldn’t mind if she tossed az’s dusty ass in too).

So I never post my WIPs on here anymore, rather I post them on my Patreon! HOWEVER, I decided to do this re-draw of one of my oldest gwynriel illustrations! LIKE HELLO, 9 months difference??? I think I’ve done well for myself so here’s a snippet of all the gwynriel theories I love and adore! ❣️