hi guys, sorry i went mildly insane last night. that was not in fact a mania episode i just got real sad about kingdom hearts.
i should probably let new people know that i go insane over apocalyptic shit occasionally but usually like. hide it better by being like ‘oh i’m just interested in………………. nukes.’
anyway, i’ll still put that fic rec list together, some stuff is still queued, and if you want to send in prompts i am…. always here for prompts.
no one has kh fic recs because kh took all the fanfic for itself and churned it out as canon.
eternally trapped in ‘if i cannot find it I must make it myself’ but kh is hard and I have. no real ideas only the desire to see something executed that’s just real fucked up. :(
you ever go back to fic chapters you wrote three years ago and never published but kinda want to publish even though they won’t go anywhere because past you was a fucking comedian?
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past!me understood this is the funniest fucking thing ventus could ever think. this should be a photograph in a textbook next to the definition of dramatic irony. This is less than three paragraphs in.
you ever go back to fic chapters you wrote three years ago and never published but kinda want to publish even though they won’t go anywhere because past you was a fucking comedian?
Sorry, but the moment that epistemological deference became literally just a way to chide global south people for wanting to talk about our own suffering without having to first run it by American activist social media I smelled three letter agency. The fact that our suffering became verboten because it could potentially take “space” from discussions about the oppression of marginalized Americans made it clear to me that this practice had no revolutionary impulse or potential, nevermind that there’s no limitations on “space” on the internet. Me posting about Pinochet doesn’t remove posts about American issues from the website, so the hostility is utterly unwarranted. Ultimately any political trend that attempts to ban me from good faith discussion of the ravaging of Latin America by imperialism is a trend I will abandon, because social media popularity is worthless compared to knowing I stand by my principles and that no peer pressure can take those from me.
The internet communist communities I originally got involved with had none of these social dynamics going on by the way, caring about a multitude of issues and having a holistic internationalist view of the world were treated as standard and nobody even thought that talking about imperialism or hating the USA were somehow in competition with recognizing the oppression and the struggles of America’s oppressed. In fact, the only tendency that did this was the widely-mocked ideology of Maoism Third Worldism. It seems to me that the commodification of an internet activist subcultural aesthetic has made people think that all oppressions need to be actively ranked against each other, all ideological statements must be vetted through essentialized identity categories, and all political discussion must fundamentally be centered primarily on pure morality and morality derived from identity. The amount of rules and norms (often directly contradictory) this new internet left has makes democratic centralism look like an anarchist commune, but I would be willing to accept it if it brought in good results and political victories which um, it kinda hasn’t. We’re not exactly winning a lot lately, are we?
can someone. can someone translate this to dumb-bitch for me. i dropped out of college
They’re saying that the way USAmericans and the global north demand people use the ‘proper language’ (like social justice buzzwords) to discuss shit going on in the global south means the north is dictating the way things can be Talked About. “If you don’t talk about it the Right Way then you shouldn’t talk about it at all”. This means they expect the global south to defer to what THEY think is the right way to talk about what happened to the global south. And also that if they discuss things at the same time Something Happened In The North then the north claims they’re stealing attention from that, because What’s Happening Right Now In The North is 'more important.’ Of course, something is alwayshappening, so there’s never an appropriate time for anyone else to have attention.
This means that the internet social justice scene is essentially telling the global south to shut up, look pretty, and support them instead of discussing things like the uh [checks hand] ramifications of the dictatorships the united states directly trained and installed.
(I am saying the global north but. USAmericans needed to be bolded when mentioning that group esp related to south america. We are the ones bitching about being reminded about dictators we helped install.)
I need some help! How do I tell my deaf, elderly cat she is being a bastard.
“I play video games on Expert Mode” okbut do you play video games while the cat that doesn’t respond to yelling tries to steal your sandwich and throws your drink on the floor if you hold the sandwich out of her reach??
I am unaware of that name? It’s the original official pride flag with the triangle adding the black and brown of the philly pride flag, and incorporating the trans flag and intersex circle!
and I have put it between a tree and a thick post so that if someone wants to hit it they will have to aim very carefully :)
You might not want to hear this but people with anger issues and/or violent impulses need social accommodations. And no by accommodation I don’t mean walking on eggshells around them, actual accommodations for people with these issues comes down to giving them a space away from what’s triggering them to process their emotions and calm themselves down same as what kind of accommodations people who get sensory overload or just any kind of overwhelmed. There is no moral value to having anger issues or violent impulses, people with them are deserving of accommodation the same as everyone else.
I had severe anger issues growing up, and the only way I was ever taught to deal with them was deep breathing. For some reason, deep breathing just triggers me to get angrier. But it’s the only coping skill I ever got taught for it. Here’s a few better ones.
Go and exercise. Get all of that energy out and away from the people you love.
Get a hang of when you’re winding up to a rage and learn to tell people that you need to step away. I will warn you that the first time that someone refuses to let you go once you learn this skill will spook the hell out of you if you don’t have a backup skill, so figure out ahead of time what you’re gonna do if they won’t let you leave.
Learn to set boundaries. One of the best things I ever did for my anger issues was tell people that I can’t deal with people stealing food off my plate. Second best was when I’m mad, telling people not to touch me. I spook easily when I’m already angry.
Get a pack of pencils and if nothing is working, break one. Sometimes you really do need to break something in order to feel better, and pencils are cheap.
Don’t cook with a knife when you’re mad. If you get too much adrenaline, the knife can slip and hurt you.
If you have anger issues that pop up without any seeming reason and frighten you, I would strongly recommend going over the situation and over your mental health. If there’s anything consistent with a mental health condition or with something particular happening to trigger it, seek to eliminate the trigger or treat the issue. Depression, anxiety, trauma, you name it, it can probably present as anger issues under the right circumstances.
Some quick notes for people without anger issues that want to help someone who has anger issues:
Fear transmutes into anger really, really well if someone’s fear response is “fight”. One of my guesses for why so many men have anger issues is that we’re told we’re not men if we have any other response to fear. However, this issue is far from exclusive to men.
Don’t box people in when you’re arguing with them or soothing them. If someone is backed up against a wall and upset, then getting closer to them without permission is a bad call for your safety and for their soothing, because that removes the ability to get away from you. Ask before getting close. This goes double if someone is injured or otherwise vulnerable.
Teaching angry people that are distressed about being angry the pencil trick on the spot is really easy and works more often than you can think.
Respect people’s requests and boundaries. A lot of people think that some of the boundaries I set up are silly or that once we’re pals, they can ignore them. No, because a lot of my boundaries are related to trauma, and crossing them will trigger me and bring up my anger.
All of this goes for children with anger issues as well. I was a child with anger issues, and a lot of disrespect for my boundaries and needs was because my anger was dismissed because I was a child. Respect children’s anger.
Walking on eggshells is not and will never be a good way to treat anger issues. Recognizing that people with anger issues deserve to have their boundaries respected and to be treated like human beings is.
An end note: Anger issues are not the same thing as being abusive, because emotions are not abusive. Someone with anger issues can become abusive if they take them out on people, but so can someone with suicidal thoughts who takes them out on people. The issue is targeting another person in order to feel better, not having a mental health issue.
An end note for people with anger issues: It really can get better. You can find coping skills and perhaps meds that help cool you down and settle you. You can find people that will accept that doing that one weird thing spooks the fuck out of you, and will let you leave if you’re scaring yourself. You can gain control of yourself without shutting down emotionally. It’s achievable.
/raises hand.
So I have to admit first that my primary symptom wasn’t anger, and that this is something I noticed afterwards: if you’ve got something that affects impulse control, then that makes it harder to reach for useful coping mechanisms sometimes.
I’m mentioning ADHD partly because it’s extremely treatable compared to a lot of other brain things. There were 4 distinct events where I wanted to inflict grievous bodily harm on people, all of them occurring when I didn’t have ADHD meds. I only noticed once I had missed a few days and was very surprised to find myself lunging at someone (I will still. blame them some. ) when I had my adhd meds I had more impulse control and either diffused things or walked away before I lunged at anyone and had avoided those situations entirely.
Getting a handle on secondary conditions can definitely help. And if it doesn’t help directly like impulse control does, then at least it’ll be one less fork in your side while you work out how to handle the anger.
((Video description: a yellow cat licks a yellow dog’s paws for a minute and 42 seconds. The dog encourages this and at one point grooms the cat back. No sound necessary.))
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