#bladder desperation
[10.24.2014]
“Drink five of those in the next ten minutes.” When Reaction Junkie pointed at my cup and ordered me to start having lots of water, I smiled. We were at the house party he was hosting for a bunch of kinky friends. I’d had a rough week, so I appreciated what I thought was Reaction Junkie engaging in the regular (and always enjoyable) bladder control and desperation that is part of our dynamic. I drank the water, and not long after, I felt the pressure building in my abdomen. I sat on the ground, and began rocking back and forth a little, attempting to distract myself from the feeling.
Reaction Junkie noticed my distress and started teasing me, “What’s wrong? Do you need to peeee?” I was a little embarrassed he was doing this in front of the party, even though I knew most of the people there fairly well. I pouted at him and said that of course I had to pee. He laughed, refused my request, and continued the teasing. At one point, he ordered me, “Go get a towel and one of your favorite shirts.” When I heard that, I realized this might not just be the normal bladder play I thought it was; he had something special in mind.
“Is he going to make me piss myself on the floor, in front of everyone?”, I thought. “No. He wouldn’t do that. Would he? Nah. It’d be too much of a mess. Right?” I refused his order to fetch the towel and shirt. Reaction Junkie gave me a look, and I managed to refuse again, but my will was weakening. He walked over to me, and I flinched, expecting to be hit for my disobedience. Instead, he started stepping on me, pressing down on my bladder. I was happy that he’d dropped the idea of making me get the towel and favorite shirt. Until he put more of his weight onto me, compressing my bladder further. I pleaded with him, “Please stop! I’m going to pee.”
Taking his foot off me, Reaction Junkie said, “Go sit on the toilet.” I was relieved for a moment until he added, “But don’t pee.” I whined, but got up and headed to the bathroom. I sat down on the toilet and waited. Reaction Junkie came in after a moment and told me I’d better not piss. I nodded and said, “I’m not.” He went back into the living room and I tried to distract myself from the need to pee. I was determined to be a good girl for him, especially since he’d left the bathroom door open, so if I started to pee, everyone would be able to hear.
When Reaction Junkie returned a minute later and saw me rocking back and forth, focusing on not pissing, he grinned, amused by my distress. “Do you think we should invite other people to come see?” he asked. My eyes opened wide in horror, and I shook my head and said, “No!” He smirked at me and said, “Don’t pretend like you don’t want this.” Turning towards the open door, he called out, “Who wants to see [LFB] piss herself?” I felt my face growing hot as a group of people gathered around the door. A few I knew fairly well, like The Unknown Quantity, Anderson Cooper, and Cute Thing (one of Reaction Junkie’s other partners). Two others, I didn’t know at all. And one of them, Pretty Girl, was a lovely woman who bought me a drink a couple happy hours ago, and who I’m shyly interested in.
As the group of partners, friends, and acquaintances looked on, Reaction Junkie began pressing on me, cruelly compressing my full bladder, all the while telling me not to piss and making comments to the crowd. I held strong, but it was increasingly difficult. All of a sudden, he punched my abdomen. It wasn’t the hardest I’ve been punched, but neither was it gentle. I managed not to piss, but only just. I looked up at him, pleading with my eyes and my words. He reassured the crowd that even though it seemed like he was being mean to me, he was actually fulfilling a fantasy. I felt embarrassed to have this fantasy revealed. Then I saw something in his face that told me what was going to happen next. He was going to read from my tumblr post about the fantasy he was currently fulfilling.
I didn’t want the additional humiliation of having him read out my fantasy to the group. Not only would they know that he really was fulfilling a fantasy, that this was something I wanted to happen, I knew I’d be uncomfortable having my writing read aloud, and, of course, there was the fear that they would find my tumblr and I’d be entirely exposed as a disgusting, fucked up little bitch. Reaction Junkie took out his phone and I said, “No, don’t read it. You can’t!” He turned to face me, his expression making me cower. *SMACK* He slapped me hard across the face. “Did you just try to tell me what I can and can’t do?” he asked. Suitably chastened and feeling tears pricking at the corners of my eyes, I shook my head and responded in a small voice, “No, dear.”
He pulled up my post and began reading, “”No, you may not use the bathroom.” He ignores my desperate pleas as the 5 bottles of water he made me drink before the party quickly catch up with me…” I looked at the floor as he read, embarrassed on multiple levels. Reaction Junkie noticed. “Look everyone in the eye,” he ordered. I took a deep breath, steeling myself to look up and see the faces staring back at me. Feeling humiliated, I complied with his instructions, making eye contact with each person in turn. My thoughts were racing as I searched their expressions for what they were thinking. I saw mostly amusement and interest, but that didn’t make me feel any better.
When Reaction Junkie got to a part of my fantasy where the character representing me speaks, he imitated me teasingly, “Please let me pee? It’s starting to hurt and I’m worried I’m going to wet myself.” These “cute” imitations are something that he and I have discussed repeatedly. He is not supposed to do them, and when he does, he gets punished. So, in the middle of him dominating, embarrassing, degrading, and humiliating me, I made him stop reading and lean his head down. I licked his face, which is something he finds very unpleasant and has been a common punishment for behavior such as this. “Sorry, sir.” he said in his little subby boy voice. The gathered crowed laughed and someone said, “Your dynamic is so hot.”
Of course, immediately after his punishment was over, Reaction Junkie continued reading. And I continued being uncomfortable. Now, instead of imitating me when he got to my parts of the dialogue, Reaction Junkie did something worse. He made me read my lines, all while continuing to look this crowd of friends, acquaintances, and near strangers in the eyes. He read the entire story, with me on the toilet next to him, squirming and uncomfortable for so many reasons. I had to pee, of course, but I was also turned on and embarrassed about what he was reading and that he was reading something I’d written to this group of people.
When he finally finished, reading out the last line of the fantasy, “Happy birthday, pisswhore,” I was looking down, almost distracted from the urge to piss. then he said, “I wonder if we could all fit in here. I wanted to make her piss in the tub.” I shook my head, not wanting the further humiliation of everyone filling the bathroom and watching me piss, with the added embarrassment of not being allowed to piss in the toilet like a person. The Unknown Quantity decided to chime in, “Yeah. I think we can all fit.” Reaction Junkie grinned and told me, “Sit on the edge of the tub.” I was reluctant, but didn’t want another slap or additional punishment, so I moved over to the bathtub.
The crowd filed in and someone shut the door. Now I was sitting on the rim of the tub, holding onto the sink to position myself to sit into it. And everyone was looking right at me. Reaction Junkie slid his hand between my legs and teased my cunt with his fingers. “Look how turned on she is, ” he said to the crowd. Turning back to me, he put his hand in my face, “You’re soaked. Smell this.” I obeyed, but looked down, thoroughly embarrassed and a little ashamed. Reaction Junkie said, “Look at everyone.” I did, my face growing hot as I looked at the people who now knew just how wet I was from the treatment I was receiving.
Reaction Junkie gave me another instruction, adding to my discomfort, “Spread your legs so everyone can see.” Slowly, reluctantly, I opened myself up. I felt vulnerable and exposed, and even half-closed them a few times. Each time, however, I spread them apart again when I saw Reaction Junkie’s face. He considered for a moment, and then asked, “Should I go get a vibrator?” I shook my head, actually upset. I didn’t think I’d be able to get off like this, or, if I could, I worried it would take so long that people would get bored. I wasn’t sure how I’d handle that in addition to the stress of the situation. He saw the expression on my face and recognized what I needed. “Nah, that will take too long,” he said. “Now piss.”
I started to try and let go, to start peeing in the tub. I kept my eyes focused on him alone, not wanting to look anyone else in the eye while I pissed in the tub. “Don’t look at me. Look at Pretty Girl,” Reaction Junkie said, ordering me to look the girl I like right in the eyes. The first time we’d hung out outside of happy hour, and she was about to see me piss myself. I looked at her, complying with his instructions. Reaction Junkie ordered me to pee again. I tried, but just couldn’t let go. “I don’t know. I can’t.” I said to him. “Oh, you better,” he responded, “You better piss yourself in front of all these people.”
I was worried about what people would thing, how they’d see me differently. Finally, the need to pee overcame my desire not to do so like this, in front of all these people. The piss streamed out of me, splashing into the tub as I emptied my bladder, a group of people watching my degradation and humiliation. Finally, the stream slowed to a trickle, then drops, and finally, it stopped. Reaction Junkie asked if I needed toilet paper. I said, “Yes, please.” When he handed it to me, I looked at it and said, “Not the one ply! Red!” making everyone laugh. Then I wiped, adding one final embarrassment to the day. Everyone filed out, leaving Reaction Junkie and I alone together. I was filled with a mix of emotions. Arousal, shame, amusement, embarrassment, gratitude, and, of course, happiness. How could I not be happy? Reaction Junkie had just literally made one of my fantasies come true.
I can’t wait to see what he’ll do for my actual birthday.
I’ve given Reaction Junkie control over my bladder whenever we’re together/in the same physical space. So when we went to his friend’s birthday party on Saturday afternoon, I knew I was going to have to ask his permission to pee. We got to the party and I foolishly drank a pop, then a couple glasses of wine. I could feel myself starting to have to go, and I figured I’d ask before it got too urgent, since I had a feeling the initial answer would be “No.”
And of course, I was correct. Not only did he say “No,” he also told me, “Ask again in an hour.” I briefly whined, but the pressure wasn’t too bad, so I went back to my conversation. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I started actually needing to go, but I knew it wasn’t an hour. By this point, quite a few more people had arrived at the party, including Anderson Cooper and the lady dom I’d gone to the spa with. I sidled up to Reaction Junkie, who was talking to Anderson Cooper, and asked permission.
“No,” he responded, and then added “Jump up and down." "Noooo,” I whined. “Is she talking back?” asked Anderson Cooper, being mischievous/an ass. “No…” I said, although, yes, I was. But I didn’t want to misbehave, especially not in front of a group of people. So when Reaction Junkie told me, “Do ten jumping jacks," I complied. "How do you feel now?” he asked when I was done. “Better, thanks,” I replied. That wasn’t a complete lie, and I returned to my conversation suitably distracted for a while.
I asked again not too long after, and this time Reaction Junkie said I could go if I went outside. He thought that was a hilarious option, and even asked the woman whose house we were at if that was okay. I pouted and continued talking with people, but I was starting to really need to go. Finally, I turned to Reaction Junkie and said, “I can go if I go outside?” He confirmed that I could, but when he double-checked with the people who lived there, we got a no go on me pissing in their backyard.
I bounced and asked, “Has it been an hour?” It had, but he wanted to make me wait longer. “It’s 5:23,” he told me. “Can you wait until 6:00?” I told him that no, I could not. “How about 5:30?” I started to say that I couldn’t wait that long, but that wasn’t true, so I told him I could. He told me I could go. Before he let me, though, he was going to have some more fun with me. He started pressing on my bladder, which not only made my need to piss worse, but it turned me on. I moaned softly and whimpered at him, enjoying the pain/pleasure of having my full bladder compressed. It’s one of the most arousing things someone can do to me.
He was talking to other people, and told them “I don’t know why she gave me this power, but she did!” Obviously, I gave him that power because I knew it would result in lots of fun for me and for him. And, of course, I was right. He finally let me get up to go to the bathroom, but before he did, he grabbed me around the midsection and squeezed hard one last time, making me groan and shiver a little before I said, “You’re gonna need to stop.” He nearly made me piss myself. He stopped and told me to go, and I skipped off to the bathroom, super pleased to have had one of my favorite kinks satisfied.
Boredom allows creativity. Fortunately for me, it leads my husband to find new and creative ways to play with me. I text him that I’m bored at work and he instructs me to find binder clips to attach to my nipples. We were bored at a party over the weekend. The party was boring and full of self-important people. I didn’t want to be rude and leave so soon after arriving and husband was willing to indulge me up to a point.
Halfway through the three hours we were there he instructs me to drink two more bottles of water. He’s so thoughtful. After chugging them down I get up to go find a bathroom and he grabs my wrist. He looks at me and says that I don’t have permission to go. I sit back down and my bladder is uncomfortable and swollen and I start bouncing in my seat to distract myself from the feeling. I make small talk with random people for the next hour and a half and I continue to feel more and more uncomfortable. Husband smirks his way through the rest of the party. We finally leave and start the long slow drive back to our house, hitting every pothole on the way.
We pull up to our house and I’m out of the car before it even stops. I race up to the door and then stand there stupidly. I don’t have the key. I hop from one foot to the other, urging husband to hurryhurryhurry.
He ignores my pleading. He stops at the door and instead of opening it, he turns to me and tells me to piss myself. I laugh it off because that’s completely ridiculous. The bathroom is literally ten feet away! If I held it this long I can hold it till he opens the door. He crosses his arms over his chest and silently stares me down. I hop on my feet and stare back. He leans against the door and waits. I finally realize he isn’t joking and stop hopping. I let go and my face burns with shame and embarrassment. It runs down my legs and pools in my shoes. I look down because I can’t look him in the eye anymore. And then I hear the door open and he’s already stepped through it. He didn’t wait for me to finish.
Unf. So fucking hot. Bladder control and desperation are at the top of my list of kinks.
Youse guise. I’m pretty drunk. I’m having a shitton of fun, though. Now we’re at a gay bar/kinky happy hour and I may be in heaven. Also Reaction Junkie tortured me with permission to piss and squeezing my bladder and he’s the bestworst. Like for rull.
Anti-Feminist Libertarian Boy and I rejoined the party. We walked over to a group of happy hour folks and started talking. I really enjoy knowing a bunch of people, even if I’m shit at keeping names and faces straight. Boy Genius and I were slated to have a scene, so we started moving towards that goal. He got distracted talking to people, and while I was standing around watching, a guy I didn’t know came up and introduced himself. We got to talking and shared our kinks, and when caning came up, he asked if I wanted to be caned. I hesitated, unsure about doing impact with a total stranger, but then said that I would after my scene with Boy Genius. I looked over to him and signaled that I wanted to get started.
We walked over to the mat and I stripped. Boy Genius jokingly tried to engage my misogyny kink, but I told him “Don’t even try. That’s not your specialty.” He laughed and grabbed some rope. He tied me with my hands behind my back, arms bent, one elbow up, one down, and lowered me to the floor. He tied my legs tight and then grabbed them and put them on his shoulder. He doesn’t usually do impact, so I was pleasantly surprised when he started warming me up. He hit me with one of the quiet drumsticks (?) and spanked me. Then he pulled out a cane, which got me excited, since I do enjoy a good beating. He hit me a bunch, including a few times I briefly considered yellowing.
Finally, he had me pick a number between six and ten. I said “Seven.” “Are you sure?” he asked. I said yes, and he said “Okayyyy…” He hit me hard with the cane and said, “Seven!” loudly, followed less loudly by “Six, five, four, three, two, one.” With each number he said quietly, he struck me again, more softly. This wasn’t what I had been expecting, but I was pleasantly surprised. “Six!” Hard hit. “Five, four, three, two, one.” Softer hits. He repeated this down all the way to “One!” where he struck me the hardest. We ended the scene, chatted and laughed for a while, since I don’t really need aftercare for something like that, and then I went to find some more people to talk with.
I spent the rest of the night in conversation with people, some old, some new. At one point during the evening, I was talking with Reaction Junkie and Anderson Cooper. Reaction Junkie said that Anderson Cooper and I should play, and Anderson Cooper responded that he hadn’t topped in six months. Reaction Junkie responded, “Who said you’re topping?” and I told Anderson Cooper, “That’s pretty presumptuous. He offered you to me as a bottom.” I wouldn’t object to being topped by him, but he’s super fucking adorable, so I definitely want to try hurting him and ordering him around.
A little while after I returned from being outside, the guy who had asked if he could cane me earlier in the night must have noticed that I’d finished my scene with Boy Genius because he came over and asked if I was ready to play. I didn’t feel like it, but felt some weird internal pressure to do it since I’d said I would. I was about to go off with him, but then I decided to just be upfront and told him that I didn’t want to. He graciously accepted my decision and walked away. By this point, I had to pee, and since Reaction Junkie was there, I had to ask his permission. When I looked for him, however, he was busy, so I couldn’t ask. I told a couple people about it and they were highly amused by my discomfort. Ah, friendship.
As I looked around, I saw The Violinist sitting in a chair. We had plans to go back to his place after the party, and I’d seen him earlier in the evening and then lost track of him. When I walked up to say hello, he grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap and continued his conversation. I listened to the conversation and participated a little for a while until Anderson Cooper walked over. The Violinist stood up for a hug. I was slightly off to the side, but I got pulled in between them and they squished me. Oh no, being the meat in a “dudes I’d totally bang” sandwich. Pure torture! I was pretty happy about it. The Violinist pulled me back onto his lap and, when I told him about having to piss but not being able to, he squeezed my bladder a little, which I enjoyed.
Finally, I saw that Reaction Junkie was free. I chased him down (Almost literally. I had to walk half way around the room because we were both going clockwise.) and asked for permission. He pointed at the bottle of water I was holding and told me, “Yes, but you have to finish that first.” I pouted briefly and he told me I could just go, but he’d given me the instruction and I wanted to be good, so I said, “No, I’m gonna do it.” I chugged the thing as quickly as I could and speedwalked through the rope, beatings, and naked folks to the bathroom.
When I was done, I headed back over to The Violinist. We decided it was time to go, and I started saying goodbyes to people. I saw The Unknown Quantity and walked up to him and gave him a hug. He’d been talking with The Queene, and she said, “No hug for me?” I gasped, apologized, and said of course there was a hug for her. I’m really happy that she seems to like me because she’s an awesome lady. I said bye to a couple other people, hugged Reaction Junkie and said goodnight, and then The Violinist headed to his place for more fun.
So, I was definitely not able to follow MLAM’s orders not to piss while on my date. I held out a really long time, through drinking a cider, Former President going to the bathroom, pressing on me, making out, and all the way up to him fingering me. That’s where I had to break. I felt like I almost pissed, and also his fingers were probably some of the biggest things I’ve had in me in a while, so I actually had to safeword out of fingering, which made me feel silly. Of course Former President told me not to, and we discussed why I redded. I actually started crying and I decided I had to go to the bathroom. I think I cried more than I would have just from the pain of being fingered while trying not to piss myself because I felt bad for being disappointing, which was interesting. Before I left Former President’s apartment, I texted MLAM and told him what had happened. I apologized and told him that I understood that I’d need to be punished.
As for the date, and Former President himself, I definitely had a good time and I’m glad we got together, and I’d like to do so again. To be completely honest, MLAM is way better at pain and fucking with my mind. But, you know, that’s to be expected, considering he has ruined me for other men. (50% joke, 50% truthfact) On the other hand, Former President and I got more sexual than MLAM and I had, which was fun in its own right. Gasp! It’s almost as if two different people might act like two different people and I should just fucking enjoy experiences for themselves!
(Long-ass post after the break)
Former President met me at the Metro station. I wore my First Date Outfit that MLAM picked for me to wear on first dates, since it was what I wore on our last date. It was a bit warm for the weather, but having him pick out clothes for me is hot, so I’m not really complaining. I thought of begging a sundress alternative if I ever have a date outside, but he doesn’t care about my comfort, and I suppose working around the outfit could be an interesting aspect of control. We hugged hello, and then walked over to a bar/restaurant that is part of his apartment complex. We each had a drink and split a Mediterranean plate, which was good. We talked about various things, from feminism, to our shared undergrad, to kink, and more. I did tell him about the fact that I wasn’t supposed to piss until I got home, and said that I doubted I’d be able to stick to it, and that I might feel bad about that. He was chill about all that, which was good.
When we finished, we went up to his apartment and sat on his couch. I took off my jacket, so I just had on leggings and a black bandeau (slut). We started doing negotiations and talked about limits, likes, dislikes, etc. Eventually we started making out, he was mean and pushed on my abdomen, and then picked me up and carried me to his bed.
We made out and grabbed at each other for a while, and then he told me to take my clothes off, and eventually his. I realized I actually hadn’t taken off another person’s clothes in a while, so I actually hesitated and he grabbed me and told me to hurry up. I did it and then explained that I’d hesitated because MLAM never really had me remove his clothes. Former President growled at me that he wasn’t MLAM and had his own expectations, which was a good reminder to me to stop being a stupid slut and treat the experience as its own thing.
After a bit, he started fingering me, and holy fuck did it hurt. That’s where I had to red out and go piss, violating MLAM’s instructions. After I came back, we relaxed a bit, and then started making out and stuff again. Somewhere along the way, he did spank me, which was good, but not hard enough, and in far too easy a position. Considering it was a first date, though, it was fine. He also did bite my bite, as requested. I said “harder” while he was biting, and immediately thought “Why the fuck do I even have that in my vocabulary anymore?” It was nice and painful. He’s also pretty into pressure to cause pain, so he got after spots on my sides a couple times, which did hurt a bit, so that was good.
I was kissing him and his neck and his nipples (which are super sensitive, which translates to super fun) and he told me to go lower, so I started licking and sucking his balls, and up the shaft a bit. He indicated that he wanted a blowjob and I looked up at him and said “Can I see those test results?” he reminded me they were from December, and did not press the issue, getting up and putting on a condom, instead. Responsible!LFB rules the day! So, I gave him a blowjob with the condom on. He actually has a smaller than average penis, which makes for enjoyable blowjob giving. Well, enjoyable if you’re given free reign. Less so when your head is being held down until you gag and choke. But of course, that’s enjoyable in its own way.
So, a little after that, we were about to have piv sex and for some reason I stopped him. I’m not entirely sure why. Part of it was actually wondering what Legal Lolita and MLAM would think, which is kind of fucking ridiculous of me because what? Then I was also getting some generalized societal slut shamey feelings, and a bit from myself. Former President backed off, except for continuing to tease me. He would grab me and move me like he would if we were fucking and uuuunf it was so rough and I wanted it and eventually I said, “Fuck it. Put on another condom.”
He fucked me nice and hard, slamming into me and moving my body and holding me and gods I needed that. The whole time he was saying/whispering/growling dirty things into my ear that I could only half understand, and I was saying things like “Fuck” and “Yes” and “Use me.” Well, at one point he was growling something and I was saying “Yes” at about the same time when I realized that he had said the word “Cum.” Whether that meant orgasm or ejaculate, I didn’t want to answer without being sure what the question was, so I said “What?” but then it was too late and he pulled out and and whipped the condom off and started cumming on me. It would have been fine, except that he got some on my vulva. I slapped my hand over my pussy and kind of froze and was thinking “Oh shit oh shit oh shit.” He finished and grabbed a towel and wiped me off but wasn’t exactly the most careful about that.
I was actually freaked out at that point, and when he came back to cuddle, I expressed that a little bit. He apologized but didn’t seem to be getting how upset I was. Then, I started to unfreeze and process and decided to just be open and honest and told him that it had been upsetting. He apologized again and seemed to actually realize what had happened and was super sorry. I took a deep breath and said “Don’t laugh, but I think I want EC.” He decidedly did not laugh, and was incredibly understanding. He acknowledged his fuck up, said he could understand if I was mad, and offered to pay half the cost, without any prompting. Best possible response.
We hopped in the shower and, while we were showering, did a bit of the relationship negotiation-type discussion that my friend, Sexy Librarian, had told me she did when she negotiated with MLAM, which is something he and I didn’t do at the time. Former President and I determined that we both are mostly looking for friends. Particularly friends with special interests.
When we went back into the bedroom, he noticed that he had bit out one of my earrings. I was a bit sad, but not actually upset. He, on the other hand, felt super bad for two unfortunate things happening at once, so he kept looking for it long past when I’d given up. We cuddled a bit more, and then I got tired of just cuddling, so I started playing with his nipples and licking his balls. Remembering something he had said online, I asked him, “You enjoy anal play, right?” and when he answered in the affirmative, I started playing with his ass. I decided to have some fun and tease him. I asked him questions and made him tell me things like about the best paper he wrote in undergrad, while I played with his balls, nipples, and ass. He kept interrupting himself to make all sorts of lovely sounds. I love teasing. It makes me feel powerful, but at the same time, it’s me serving my purpose, to provide pleasure to men.
While we were talking about pain, he offered me a back massage, and I gave him a skeptical “Are you actually being nice or are you going to be hurting me?” look, and he said he wouldn’t say. It did feel fantastic, but also hurt. He was straddling me while giving me the massage, and then he was on top of me, sort of grinding against me, and I told him I was thinking about him fucking me in the ass. He said, “Oh?” and I continued telling him what I was thinking. He grabbed some lube and fingered my ass while I kept talking. Then he got a condom and yeah, I gave up that third hole. Anal with him was not at all painful and was really enjoyable because of his cock size.
We cuddled a bit more and talked for a while. He likes how responsive I am, and how small I am. (They usually do.) I told him he should spank me more, and that I wanted more pain next time. We also discussed the fact that he does, indeed, smoke, and has a guy, so at least I don’t need to worry about not having a source. I haven’t been, and don’t, smoke very much, though, so what I have should last me quite a while. Then, before I left, we had piv sex again for a little while. After I asked, “You’re not gonna pull that trick with the condom again, are ya?” and he said “No.” in a way that meant he def still felt bad about things.
We left his apartment and walked back holding hands. I noticed he seemed to be in a bit of a negative place, so I asked how he was doing. He still felt bad about the semen spillage, and I told him that while I was glad he took responsibility and owned his mistake and everything, I definitely didn’t want him to beat himself up about it. He said he wasn’t really beating himself up, but that he did feel like he should have had more control. We also figured out that he had thought I understood his question. When he realized I hadn’t, I think he felt even a bit worse. We kept talking as we walked, and made vague plans to hang out the following Wednesday. Those did not pan out.
I think one big difference between MLAM and Former President is that, with MLAM, there is more of a power dynamic, which is partially him, and partially just something that takes time to develop. Also, while I certainly enjoyed the sex, maybe I’m not looking for something quite so sex heavy. One relationship like that is good, but I don’t really need or want more than a couple people I’m having piv with at a given time. I think in the future, it will be a good idea to meet and hang out with someone a couple times before playing or fucking. Definitely holding off on piv sex for a bit in the future. It’s too easy a way to be dominant over someone, and not my primary interest right now.
Pain and Mark Tally:
He spanked me, bit me nice and hard, and grabbed me hard.
I came away with some bruises on my shoulders and sides, and a couple on my inner thigh that neither Former President knew where they came from.
MLAM instructed me to drink a bottle of water before my date with Former President. He also informed me that I am not to piss until I get home.
Really mean, pretty damn controlling, and quite hot.
Here’s the thing about my owner’s no pissing on first dates rule for me: I could avoid violating that rule by not going on first dates or by not spreading my legs so easily almost anytime a man shows interest.
But my owner wouldn’t want me to do either of those things to avoid breaking the rule. Both because, hello, I’m here in this world to get used by men, and because he gets pleasure from seeing me thriving in my new life.
And, not that it matters because my preferences and desires aren’t worth shit, but I want to meet new people and have sex with people I like.
So, I’ve gotten myself into a situation where I’m practically guaranteed to fail at following my owner’s rule about pissing because I also am trying to follow his instructions to get used by any man who wants me, and as many men as possible. There’s no way for me to be the perfect fucktoy here. And isn’t that just a perfect microcosm of my larger place in life? No matter what I do, I can’t be the perfect toy. All I can do is keep improving in the hopes that I’ll remain useful to the men in my life.
“No, you may not use the bathroom.” He ignores my desperate pleas as the 5 bottles of water he made me drink before the party quickly catch up with me. He tells me to stop bothering him and let him talk to people. Before I can ask again, he grabs me around the middle and squeezes me against him, continuing his conversation as if nothing is happening. I moan from the pain-tinged arousal that always results from having my full bladder compressed. The other people in the group hide their smiles and stifle their laughter, but I blush anyway, embarrassed for them to know how much this is turning me on. When he lets go, I stand next to him and dance from leg to leg as I try to focus on the conversation.
When it starts to hurt, I say in a quiet voice, “Please let me pee? It’s starting to hurt and I’m worried I’m going to wet myself.” He tells me to speak up, that it’s rude to whisper in a group. I look down at the floor, my cheeks flushed, but there’s no denying the way my cunt feels as I say, loud enough for everyone to hear, “May I please pee? It really hurts and…and I’m worried I’m going to wet myself.” He grins at me, enjoying my distress, and turns to the group, “Should I let her go to the bathroom?” he asks. The others laugh and respond, half kind, half cruel.
He considers for a moment before saying, “Let’s compromise. You may piss, but you may not use the bathroom. Sit on the floor.” He points towards the wall. I stare at him, not understanding. He gives me one of those looks and says more sharply, “Sit on the floor. Back against the wall. And spread your legs so everyone can see.” I slowly walk to the other side of the room, my bladder aching, and position myself as instructed.
The whole party is looking at me now. He walks over to me and says, “Go ahead. You have permission to piss.” “But…but I can’t. Not in front of everyone! You have to let me go to the bathroom, please!” I respond in horror. He grabs my hair, forcing me to look at him, and slaps me in the face. “Did you just refuse? And tell me what I ‘have’ to do? I think you’re forgetting how this works.” He slides his hand under my panties and continues, half turning to the group, “Besides, I can tell how much you want to do this. Your cunt is fucking soaking. You know what? Since this is your birthday party, not only am I going to forgive you for the backtalk, I’m going to be extra nice.” He hands me a vibrator. “Hold this on your clit. In addition to permission to piss, you also have permission to cum.”
Thoroughly embarrassed now, but reminded of my place by his voice and the slap, I turn on the toy and press it against my throbbing clit. I close my eyes, still feeling the pressure of everyone looking at me, and attempt to relax my muscles, trying to focus on the vibrations running through my cunt. After a minute, I’m finally able to let go. As soon as I do, I feel the relief of my emptying bladder as my panties are soaked in warm piss. I look up to see everyone watching, some people amused, some aroused, some disapproving. The humiliation and arousal and release of finally, finally being allowed to pee overwhelm me and I cum hard, legs shaking, body trembling, head pressed back against the wall.
When I’m finally feel able to think again, still shivering with aftershocks, legs gone numb, I slowly open my eyes to see him crouched over me, smiling, “Happy birthday, pisswhore.”
I can’t hold it any more I’m about to burst any second as I’m typing this im bouncing around struggling to hold it all in I need to goooo
Fuck starting off my day by being in the bathroom but not using it has always been so torturous
I’m gonna try to hold my morning pee until I have to head out but I can’t guarantee this will be a long hold I really need to pee
Uh oh good morning everyone I drank too much last night and now I’m bursting at the seams I need to go potty so badly right now I don’t know how much longer I can hold it.
Another day another experience this one was actually kind of dangerous I stopped by my close friends house to hang out and watch stuff together. I ended up spending most of the day there which meant I eventually did end up drinking lots of fluids specifically 6 or 7 glasses of soda. I hadn’t really noticed how much I drank until we were watching one of his favorite shows he’s been trying to get me into. I tried my best to hold it until we finished the season but not having any clue of how many episodes there were I was starting to panic a bit so I tried to get up to go pee. Well he was not a fan of that idea. Since I had been putting off watching his favorite show he didn’t want me to miss a single episode (despite each episode having a different premise ) so he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back towards to bed and told me that I really needed to see these next few episodes because they were his favorite. I didn’t really want to wet myself especially not in someone else’s house so I told him that I really had to pee and that I’d be quick. He then replied by saying that he was not in the mood to pause and that I could hold it. By this point my face is all hot and even though I really gotta go I sat back down and continued to hold it a little longer. We continued to watch the next 3 episodes as I sat there squirming my bladder full to the brim trying not to let a single drop out but eventually I really couldn’t take it anymore I told him I needed to go right now so I stood up to head towards the door but he tried to block me by grabbing me by the hips. Bad move I’m really sensitive there so I started to do a little dance as I struggled to push him out of the way before he finally submitted and said I could go. I ran down the hall to his bathroom and closed the door behind me I didn’t even turn the lights on I just did my best to get my pants off which was already a struggle and was finally able to relieve myself of the piss that was overfilling my poor bladder. When I finally returned to the room he asked me if I felt better to which I replied “fuck yea”. It was quite the experience and if anything it really makes me look at him in a different light though this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had these feelings for him he’s much bigger than me in height and a very nice guy
Sorry I haven’t been online very often everyone I will be back on soon with a few stories to tell you guys
So I got caught up with some stuff but I did end up making it to the bathroom. I was almost too late and had to fiddle with my zipper while frantically dancing around but once that was done it felt like I was peeing forever I had to go so bad I did leak a lot into my underwear so I wasn’t entirely saved from a mess but it felt so good to finally let it all out
Really desperate to piss right now I’ve started to full on pee dance and leak into my underwear I can’t guarantee that I can hold it much longer I can feel it sloshing around inside of me I’m either gonna have an accident or need to rush to the bathroom very soon
Alright so I’m just hanging out in my room relaxing and I literally cannot stop myself from doing a little potty dance and grabbing my crotch it’s getting increasingly hard to hold it
So just got home after being out all day I haven’t peed at all yet I wouldn’t say I’m bursting but I have to go pretty bad I’m gonna hold it for now though
Practically bursting at this point I haven’t pissed in so long I can feel how swollen my bladder is and I can’t stop squirming and grabbing my crotch I have to pee so fucking bad
Ok I’ve begun to squirm now I’m still going to continue to hold it but there is no way that I can ignore the urge at this point I’m gonna start to drink even more fluids now to get even more full I really need to piss
