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LIVE

One of my biggest life pursuits, is being MINDFUL. After a lifetime of being discriminated against, othered, invalidated, and in so many ways discarded, I developed the sad habit of disassociation. Staring off blankly into space, “checking out” - it’s a common defense mechanism of the abused and disenfranchised. Because of it, there is much of my life that I simply cannot recall. YEARS, in fact.

When I started my transition, I dropped the mask, shed my skin, and left the boy behind. I committed to being as completely authentic as possible; to be grounded, and to live in the moment moving forward. MY life, in abundance.

For me, that has meant embracing my heritage, expressing it. I’ve always been proud of my cultural origins. As a little Fia, I had the honor of knowing some of the immigrant members of my family. From them, I learned of our journey to the states, the difficult situations we left behind, and much of our traditions.

I also learned of our Romani background. Being Sicilian, in the areas I lived, in the TIME I lived, came with stigma, and discrimination. Romi folks have it worse, so I was told to keep that part of me to myself. To assimilate. I was in college before I understood why.

Over the years, as I researched my family history, I have become aware of the continuing persecution of Romani people, who - to this day, are denied access to basic human rights and face a life of poverty, discrimination, violence, and exclusion.

Part of my research led me to mr. R. Lee, a Canadian Roma who taught linguistics in Toronto, and who is responsible for creating the written form of Kalderash - the most widely spoken dialect of the Romani language. With his help, I discovered that the DeRosa part of my family is connected to the Napulengere clan of Sicilian Romani, which travels along the Salerno coast and in Sicily. I know my mother’s side also has similar origins, but so far have not connected them to a specific tribe. It’s difficult for me to communicate the significance of this information, and how deeply rooted in my identity it is.

As part of my investigation, I recently did one of those DNA things - “23 and me,” which goes into great regional detail, the trail of my clan, and the various conquering nations in Sicilian history.

I like knowing where I’m from, who my people are. It gives context to how I got to where I am, and empowers me as I begin this new chapter in my ancestral narrative.