Summary:Jimin has three secrets, the first is that he’s a psychopath and the second is…
Tags:Flash back chapter, unreliable narrators, controversial characterization, psychopath Jimin, obsessive behaviors, yandere! jimin, morally questionable characters, guns, violence, gore, blood, murder, a brief drug reference or two, crime, first time smoking, depression, anxiety, hurt/comfort, medication for said depression, morally grey characters, Epilepsy, 4th wall breaks, vminkook focused, mild sexual content.
W/c:13.0k
A/n:Several people guessed Jimin’s second secret in my ask box! but no one has guessed the third yet! i hope you enjoy it, i’m posting this immediately after getting my wisdom teeth removed~ so wish me luck! if certain parts of this this chapter seems like it’s intentionally vague or intentionally misleading thats the point- i try to write each character differently and jimin’s pov is written mostly in reference to tae- if it doesn’t involve tae (or one of his other loves) why mention it you know? this chapter is stylistic to say the least.
The narrative is so interesting, so different, it clearly shows how is telling us it! I love it!!!! I wasnt sure at first what you’d mean as jimins narrative and how unreliable but know I get it!!! And just- Wow Li!!!! It’s so good it clearly shows his personality and his trying to convince us, it’s like really getting in his mind!!
I never thought much about how the pack got together but I Love this bits of their past, when they’re just 3 of them, the courting, kookies getting in love with them and how he started to love him and when joon got in their lives and ♥️♥️♥️
I just love it!!! It’s in the past but it doesn’t make this chapter a filer or less interesting than the story in the present!
The mafia part was also interesting…. I like the ideia that he got into it not because he truly wanted but the opportunity appeared and he needed the money. Not gonna lie, I feel how heavy it is and how it’s got more heavier now for him (the description of his first murder and now at the end, you clearly see that he wasn’t happy at first but now he is even less happy lol)
If I’m not wrong, you said that some member of the pack would change jobs at the end of the story, right? I hope Minnie be one of them also, will they know about it?? I wonder if all the secrets will be shown to everyone at some point, like jinnies as well (that also must know about minnie)
I was so dumb that I thought his secret was that he was in the mafia, not that he knew that yoongi was who he is now…him going to find him at that supermarket wasn’t a coincidence, them? He found him and planed that?
If we have to people involved with mafia in the pack I hope they be ready to whatever monbyul brings at some point and protect yoongis and Mc urgh
I’m so so in love with the pack~ when you described how minnie memorized their likes I could picture them together and oh I’ll never be tired to read their little love scenes ♥️♥️♥️
I’m glad they found each other, it feels like minnie was OK taking care of them both till koo got will and joon and jinnie really helped him carry that extra emotion… he also saying he’s not human enough to have anxiety and actually having it and Jin being the one to calm him down- it’s totally like “shushhh Minnie you’re not the monster you’re trying to tell us you are”.
500% in love with him sticker!!!
Thanks for this update!!!!
I hope you’re feeling better and enjoying your day!!! Much kisses and love!
@hananinare ahhhhhh im so glad that you enjoyed the diffrence in pov change and the change in style! it was really really daunting to write but im so glad it was pulled off well! it is really heavy to jimin- his whole like- being is in a way? like being in love and loving them is the only peace he gets T-T
i know the little flashback chapters here and there might not be the most interesting things because of course we already knows who ends up with who and stuff- but im glad that people are still enjoying them for their little tidbits.
yes! there will be several occupation changes near the end of bily and jiminie is going to be one of them, i can’t spoil it but! it makes me verry happy to think about what happens with them<3 all the secrets are eventually going to come out and be talked about within the pack- though it’s more events that have forced their hand.
minnie did not actually plan to find Yoongi, you’re going to see the section of the story again immediately following Yoongi leaving the pack from a Different perspective. but that part was entirely accidental! jimin didn’t know yoongi would be there in h-mart.
jinmin in this are…so cute- you put it so well. jimin couldn’t be the pack alpha he wanted to be and cope with all the stress, bending to jin and namjoon is so much better for him. now i think people kinda understand what i mean when i say that like- weather or not jimin is psychopathic is really up to interpretation, because he does feel anxiety and intense love and sympathy for others. he’s not just all murder and all love for tae tae you know?
im so happy that you enjoyed this chapter~ im sorry it took me a second to respond to you i don’t know how i forgot! i always enjoy reading your responses to this <3 thank you for leaving them <3
Tags: Fluff, detailed aftercare, collars, discussions of sexual bingeing, breif flashbacks to other bdsm scenes, bdsm dynamics, dom Jin, dom Namjoon, dom Yoongi, sub jk, sub m/c, subspace, dom space, mentioned dom drop, self esteem issues, calorie counting, implied relapse,
W/c: 10.5k
A/n: this chapter is one that had to be split because it was getting closer and closer to 15k even before editing but! it’s very sweet and fluffy, after the cliffhanger that happened in chapter 28- i gathered that people really wanted to see the m/c wearing the collar for the first time and even though thats not exactly like…the most pertinent thing to the story, i felt it needed to be written~
“You’re not going to make me put it on myself, are you?”
It’s not surprising that the request grants you frustrated growls from your packmates, Jungkook lets out a small purr. Namjoon’s hands shake- but Jin’s guilty smile says that maybe you’ve all had a little too much excitement for today.
Yoongi grins, dark eyes glimmering with heat, “You know exactly what to say to get Joonie riled up sweetheart” your mate comments, staring at you like you’ve just promised to end world hunger.
Tags:Angst, hurt/comfort, low-self esteem, themes of abandonment, betrayal, anger, anxiety, panic-attacks, brief implied suicidal thoughts (Tae) but it’s heavily implied, not the slowest of burns but it’s as slow as im willing to make it.
W/c:7.0k
A/n: It’s a little early but I hope you like it! alot of angst but the ending is worth it I promise! you guys finally meet the m/c! the next few chapters will show how yoongi and the m/c met and all that shit. PLEASE READ THE PROLOGUE BEFORE YOU READ THIS PART.
When he’d left to visit his familial pack (the pack he’d been born into) It was a sudden trip. One-day; Yoongi had given himself one extra day at home, the last day he’d get to love them before he’d left. It was all his anxiety would allow.
To his packmates it had felt a little like Yoongi was just distracted. Often they’d turn to ask him and found him anxiously looking down on his phone. In the morning he’d had to get on the first train and no one had thought anything of it- of course they were okay with him going. Of course Yoongi had to go for his family.
He’d left a heavily scented shirt for Jungkook to hold onto to make sure his seizures didn’t get too bad while he was gone. But the omega had his whole closet too and he wasn’t even going to be gone that long, right? his hovering and worrying was a little too much, right?
The best lies are one part lie and two parts truth. Yes, Yoongi’s grandfather was dying and telling them that didn’t feel like a lie. But on the other hand saying “I’ll be back in 2 weeks, maybe 3 at the most” tasted like acid on his tongue.
It’s not a lie when Yoongi looks at Jin and pouts, because even if he wants to cry as he drinks in his omega getting ready for work thinking it could be the last time he sees it, he can’t. Tears aren’t expected of him and It would give it all away.
“I’m gonna miss you.” Jin kisses the frown off of his lips.
Tags: Consumption of alcohol, drunk kisses, Jimin but gets handsy with the m/c, sexual touching, flirting, drunk sexual content, posessive behavior, yandere! Jimin, Don’t like don’t read, Jimin also has like- one sip of alchohol while he is the designated driver, but they are at the bar for 3+ hours
W/c:9.4k
A/n: Although i don’t think that what happens in the chapter is in any way un consensual- it definitely toes a line in what is considered modern consent theory. I don’t subscribe to the notion that one sip of alcohol takes away a persons agency- and the m/c is still very much verbally consenting to Jimin even though she has had a drink-and he hasn’t and Jimin is scent high so! She’s tipsy at best through the entirety of the chapter.
The Poem that is spoken before Tae’s poem is a snippet from Jasmine man’s poem ‘black girl, call home’ you should all follow her on twitter here! thank you to whatever anon recommended me her work!
The sun sets on your drive over, turning the rearview mirror every shade of yellow and red. The lights of the city twinkle in the distance and turn the sky a burning orange on the horizon. Jimin uses his horn liberally as he struggles to park but in the meantime, you transfer your few cards to the new wallet and put the wallet inside the bunny bag. Giving it a happy squeeze when everything is finally all in it’s place.
A group of people smokes outside the bar and If the smell draws Jimin at all he doesn’t show it, holding the door open for you and Tae. the interior of the bar is already crowded by the time you get in. You think you’re doomed to the standing room by the bar but then you see it: right by the door, a booth with one side to the windows
I’m leaving my thoughts on both chapter 32 and 33 here
(How terribly naive of your pack, to think that fate would spare you all its tricks). GHAD IM SCARED
Ooooooh that little hobi/mc crumb with his reaction to the dress made me go soft for them little crumbs like this already make my heart soaar. m/c and hobi’s development is prolly one of my fave parts of the story and little moments like that just makes the slow burn just burn a little warmer
WHEN MC TRIED THE DRESS ON IN FRONT OF THEM AND THEM JUST ADORING HER MADE ME SO SOFT
“Maybe she only knows how best to pull off the ruse because it fits her soul so poorly, every inch of it intentional.” THIS LINE IS JUST SO CLEVER TO ME I JUST SKNALSNFLEJD YOU WORDED IT SO WELL IT HURTS
THE FLIRTING AND THE TEASING PLLLSSS IT JUST MADE ME WANT TO TRY IT OUT ON SOMEONE AND MAKE THEM FLUSTERED AS HELL OR MAKE THEM WANT TO SPANK ME DAMNIT
TAE’S POEM! THE KISS! JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO WORDS CAN EXPRESS HOW FOKEN BEAUTIFUL THAT MOMENT WAS PLEASE IM CRYING
AND THAT CLIFF HANGER! I felt something coming up AND NOW THAT ITS HERE IM LIKE “WAIT GO BAACK! TAKE ME BACK TO THE PACK FLUFF AGAIN I AIN’T READY ” HYEJIN I THOUGHT U WAS A REAL ONE DEMNIT and the fact that Jimin ain’t aware who tf he’s glaring daggers into MEANWHILE MOONBYUL KNOWS EXACTLY WHO HE IS HOMYLAWD
And Jinnie hooooolaaaaaaawwd i feeaaaaaar the next update
There’s so much more i want to say and sheet but the beest way i could express it would just be screaming and crying but really this chapter was *chef’s kiss* ✨
@geekynicki ahhhhhh i’m so sorry it took me so long to respond! i think in all of the excitement of the comeback this got lost in the shuffle.
ahhhhh i love the hobi parts too~ i can’t wait to give their part of the story some attention in future chapters too, it feels like it’s been a second since we touched on it but!!! soon i promise!!!
Ahhhhhh i know- it’s felt so horrible to write Tae presenting as a man because like thats not her~ thats not the happy tae tae mommy that we know!!! honestly it was one of the hardest parts of this chapter to write!
you me m/c - wanting to make jiminie flustered enough that he takes her over his lap and punishes her I SWEAR i cannot wait to write chapter 35 just cuz, jinnie spanking, just the jinnie spanking. i swear its all i can think about ughhhhhhhhhh, im an impatient bean~
as for the future well,,,, i’m in the middle of writing the next update and honestly, it feels like one of those videos where everything just /almost/ goes wrong- but don’t worry, the actual falling apart doesn’t happen until the very end! we’ve got alot more fluff to get through!
thank you so much for your lovely review of the story <3 i love reading everyones takes on it and i go back even like- months after and read it sometimes too~ it always helps me get motivation to write more!
“Call me friend but keep me closer” — Billie Eilish
Anastasia stumbled over herself the next morning, the 2 hours of sleep, thanks to the boys, taking its toll. The hour was 6 in the morning and she had a class in an hour that she couldn’t afford to miss. Luckily, she’d woken up to an empty bed, no snoring Jungkook beside her. As much as she’d love to wake up to him, she knew it would only break her heart harder in the long run if she gave in to the fantasy.
When she’d walked out of her room to head to the bathroom, Jimin was spread out on her couch, phone in hand.
“You’re still up?” She croaked, afraid to look at herself in the mirror.
He hummed in confirmation, not looking up. Furrowing her brow, a thought occurred. How did none of them get jet lag? Unless delayed onset jet lag was a thing.
“Seokjin-hyung, Namjoon-hyung, Yoongi-hyung, and Hoseok-hyung all had schedules before coming to see me, so they’ve been here for like 3 weeks already,” Jungkook explained later, when they met up on campus for lunch, “Taehyungie-hyung wasjet-lagged and Jiminie-hyung always has a fucked sleep schedule”
She nodded, eyes following a group of people walking by.
“And Taz…” She turned back to Jungkook, who looked nervous as he fiddled with his lip ring.
“Hey, what’s up?” She leaned forward to let him know she was listening.
“The landlady was pretty adamant about you leaving,” He explained.
She nodded in understanding, “I figured”
“But! Hobi-hyung talked her down from pressing for repair money,” He looked more excited about this news. Anastasia was too, of course, but something was bothering her.
“Is she dumb?” She laughed, pulling back.
“Hobi-hyung is just veryconvincing,” Jungkook snickered with a wink.
Her eyes widened comically, “He slept with her?!”
Jungkook’s locks swished as he shook his head, “No, but he probably flirted enough that she thought he would”
Anastasia rolled her eyes, “He knows he didn’t have to do that, right?”
Jungkook’s smile fell as he stared intently at her, “And you know that if you’re special to me, you’re special to him, right? Whatever I’d do for you, they would too”
She pulled back, stunned, “Kook, I get that you guys have a unique bond, but that doesn’t mean you all feel the same things”
It was his turn to roll his eyes, “When you care about someone that much, when you lovethem, when you’d do anything for them…the people they love, you love”
“What are you talking about? Jungkook that’s… no,” She shook her head. “That’s not how it works”
He scowled, crossing his arms, “So you’re telling me you didn’t make the effort to get along because they were important to me?”
She paused. He had a point… Still, what he was talking about was beyond anything she’d ever thought about doing.
“You’re dumb,” she huffed, giving in. A genuine smile brightened his face and she reminded herself not to stare like a lovestruck fool.
“Oh, also,” He moved seats so he was closer and grabbed both of her hands. “Move in with me”
A startled laugh left her lips, “What?”
“Yeah,” He scooted closer so her legs were fully trapped between his. “You have to move anyway and I don’t want to be where you’re not, so it makes sense?”
“I can’t live in the building anymore, Kook” she pointed out obviously, forgoing mentioning all the other reasons why living together was a bad idea. Although it wasn’t completely unfathomable (they basically lived together already), there was something so intimate about officiallysharing a space. It was crossing lines they’d blurred for years and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to break her heart like that.
“Well, I was thinking we’d look at someplace new,” He blushed, playing with her hands. It never took much from him to make her cave, and she did just that. “Okay, let’s do that when we get home”
He beamed. “Great! Okay, I have to go, my class started like 15 minutes ago,” he informed, kissing her on the cheek before jogging off.
The two weeks following passed slowly, ritually. Anastasia got up, got ready, went to classes, did some homework, and then came home to search for a new place and pack.
She hadn’t interacted much with Yoongi beyond the occasional passing sly touch and she was pleased to find that there was no awkwardness between them. He more or less kept to himself, though, and she was much too concerned with finding a place to live to seek him out.
Hoseok and Seokjin had come over every day to help pack everything up and occasionally, Taehyung would show up too, although she’d quickly understood that he had no particular interest in actually helping. He played DJ and went throughher stuff, but didn’t do any work. She was thankful nonetheless.
“Where was this?” Taehyung asked from where he sat in her closet.
Anastasia finished placing the books she was holding in a box before walking over to see what he was talking about.
“Taehyung!” She gasped, “I justfinished packing that!”
There he was, sat in front of the box filled with all her photos. Well, it usedto be filled with photos, nowthey were scattered on the floor around him.
“His hair was so long…” He mumbled, brushing a finger delicately across the photo in his hand. The longing in his voice made her curious, which photo was he looking at?
Stepping over a few boxes to get to him, she peered over his shoulder.
Her expression immediately softened, “That was a few years ago, Christmas break. We visited my family’s farm, he really liked the animals,” she laughed at the memory behind the photo of Jungkook holding a lamb.
Noticing Taehyung’s frown, she thoughtlessly combed her hand through his hair.
“I’ll take you to meet the animals too if you want,” She offered, snapping her hand back when he leaned into the touch. She hadn’t meant to be so affectionate, it just came so easy with the pouty man.
He tilted his head back to look up at her with a smile but she was too lost in my thoughts to notice. She also didn’t notice when Taehyung grabbed another photo and grinned knowingly. It wasn’t until he started softly rapping “Baby Got Back” that she realized which photo he was holding.
“Okay! And that’s the end of that,” she quipped, snatching the photo from his hands. “Clean this all up, I’m going to go check on Seokjin and Hoseok”
“Neh~” He hummed grin never faltering, much to her embarrassment. And so with her face burning bright, she stalked off.
Expecting to find them in the kitchen, where she’d last seen them, she was confused when Hoseok was nowhere to be found. The box he’d been filling with appliances sat neatly on the counter, labeled and taped shut, the tape roller placed next to it. His keys and sunglasses, that he’d left on the table were gone along, with his shoes.
Why had he left without saying anything? She felt like an absolute idiot for being offended, it wasn’t like he was obligatedto report his whereabouts to her.
“What’s wrong?” Seokjin murmured in her ear, scaring her so bad she tripped over her own feet. He caught her easily, pulling her to his chest. “Hobi just went to get food, no need to make such a sad face”
“I wasn’t sad,” She denied petulantly, her back pressed to his front.
“No? Bummer, I wanted to make you feel better,” He sighed and she could feel his hot breath against her neck. And then he was suddenly pulling away, leaving her feeling cold and flushed at the same time. “Maybe next time,” he winked.
***
Jungkook hadn’t stopped pushing for them to move in together, which had initially made her heart beat fast, but then he’d implied that his entire entourage would be following as well and she didn’t know what to think. She couldn’t live with seven men. She couldn’t.
Throughout, all seven of the men kept approaching her with places to move to, which would have been great if they weren’t all in Korea.
“For the last time, I can’tjust get up and move to another country! Would you let it go, already?!” She expressed exasperatedly, dragging her hands down her face. She’d just come over to relax as most of her furniture was covered with boxes, but so far, things had been everything but relaxing.
“Whynot?You’ve exhausted all your resources, there are no other places here that you can afford! You have to move away anyway!” Jungkook hissed, losing his patience. The two had been arguing for the past 15 minutes.
Her jaw clenched with an audible noise as she took a deep breath, “Cause I don’t wantto!”
“Why.Not?!” He fumed, clenching his fists. He looked genuinely angry, something she couldn’t recall him ever directing at her (aside from one time, years ago, that she was caught snooping through his phone).
Letting out a shaky breath, she tried to convince herself not to do something rash like kick the glass coffee table or chuck his PS4 controller at the wall. “I do not speak Korean, how am I supposed to go to school there? I don’t know the culture, or what’s socially accepted! I don’t want to relearn how to live, Jungkook!”
An angry growl left his lips, “Then just stay inside! You have us, you don’t need anything else”
“Jungkook!” How could he say that? “Why are you so dead set on me moving to Korea? Did you really hate living here with me that much?!” It was a somewhat baseless accusation, but it’d been weighing her down.
“Why would I be trying so damn hard to convince you to come with me if I hated living with you? Don’t put words in my mouth,” He growled and she felt like a bucket of ice water had just been dumped over her head.
“Comewithyou?” She repeated, “You’re leaving?”
He rolled his eyes, “Of course, I’m leaving. My life is in Korea, there’s nothing for me here. I only stayed this long because of you and now you won’t even…” He cut himself off.
“Of course, I’m leaving”, His words echoed in her head, but what did she expect? Him to choose her over them?
“Do you know how that feels? Knowing I gave up so much time to stay beside you and now you won’t even considerme? Even though you have to transfer anyway, and your reason? You don’t want to .” He gripped at his hair. “And if you won’t move, what the hell am I supposed to do?!”
“It’s not —it’s not about you, I—”
“Itshouldbe about me. I shouldbe your priority. A little discomfort is all it takes for you to ditch me, huh? So every time you said you wanted to stay with me forever, that we’d grow old together, what you really meant was we could be together as long as it’s convenient for you”
“You like it here, you enjoyed being here,” she tried to rationalize, ignoring the guilt churning in her belly.
“I liked you,” he clarified. “Why would I like being away from my family?”
She shook her head, “Let’s talk about this later.” Seokjin and Yoongi had just walked in and she took the opportunity to escape. Jungkook didn’t try to stop her.
Pulling out her phone, she decided to call Beatrice for a shoulder to lean on.
“Hello?” She answered.
“Hey Bee, you got a moment?” Anastasia asked as she stepped into her living room.
Beatrice hesitated, “Actually, can I call you back in a bit? I’m right in the middle of something”
Anastasia agreed easily, ending the call. What now?
“Taz?” Hoseok’s voice met her ear moments before his head popped out from the hallway, his eyes meeting hers.
“Hoseok? What are you doing here?” She’d thought he’d left hours ago.
A mischievous smirk crept onto his lips, “Oh, nothing” he singsonged, disappearing back down the hall. She followed immediately, not trusting him, and walked into her room just in time to see him disappear into her closet.
On her bed lounged a comfortable Jimin, staring beguilingly at her. All thoughts stuttered to a stop for a moment.
“I was thinking,” Hoseok began, returning from her closet with something behind his back, “that we deserve to celebrate”
“Celebrate?”
He nodded innocently with closed eyes, “Our hard work. And look!” He pulled out what he’d been hiding. It was a calf-length fitted velvet dress, one she’d only worn once to her cousin’s wedding. The color was a deep purple and it had thin straps with a low back. “I found the perfect dress for you”
“That’s—” she laughed, taking it from his outstretched hand and holding it up to herself, “I don’t think I’ll even fit into this anymore. Besides, I’m not exactly in a spot financially where I should be out celebrating”
“I’ll pay, now go try it on,” Jimin shooed, rolling off the bed and pushing her from the room.
“Ah—wait—but!”
An hour later, she was out of the shower and successfully zipped into the dress. Although she was not at all in the mood to go out, she felt she owed Hoseok for all his help. If what he wanted as repayment was a fun night out with her and Jimin, she would do it.
Uncapping her lipgloss, her thoughts drifted back to Jungkook. Finding out that for all the years he stayed by her side, he’d wanted to be somewhere else, hurt. Why hadn’t he just been honest from the start?
He didn’t want to give you up. She knew it was the truth but that just made everything so much harder! Jungkook was always intense and overbearing, he liked to be in control, or at the very least in the loop, when anything had something to do with her. His attention to detail when it came to her was part of what had made it so easy to fall in love with him, but was she ready to move to a different country for him? He would meet someone and get married someday, then where would she be? Still, it was selfish to ask him to stay and suffer the same things that made her not want to go.
Saying goodbye though…that wasn’t something she ever wanted to do. Even the other six had unnoticingly grown on her.
Pulled from her thoughts by the doorbell ringing, she quickly finished applying her lipgloss and went to check.
Behind the door stood Jimin and Hoseok looking like a pair of gods and she felt herself stop functioning for a moment, her brain having trouble processing what she was seeing.
Jimin was in a flowy black satin top with a sinfully deep neckline and a matching scarf tied around his neck. He’d traded in his usual hooped earrings for long, thin, dangly ones and his hair was brushed back on one side, his makeup flawless.
Hoseok was the epitome of fashionable in his oversized blazer with a unique white trim and pearls adorning his neck. Tinted sunglasses, that held no real purpose in the dark night, rested low on his nose and his hair was curled to nicely fit the formal grunge style.
Feeling underdressed around them wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling to her, but at that moment she felt severelyunderdressed. They looked expensive, next to them she felt like river rock compared to diamonds and rubies.
Trying not to show her insecurity, she gave them a smile.
“You look beautiful,” Jimin complimented, his ever-present flirtatious smirk playing on his lips. Hoseok made a loud noise in agreement, making her laugh and suddenly she felt comfortable again. Well, as comfortable as she could while being overwhelmingly attracted to them. Who was she becoming?
“Let me just grab my bag and put on some shoes, hold on,” She said, dashing to her room to grab her things and buckle on some heels she’d dug out of a box.
When she returned, Yoongi and Namjoon had joined, talking in hushed tones to the other two. Noticing her presence, they quieted, sending her bright smiles as Hoseok held out his hand.
“Ready?” He asked, tilting his head.
“Uh, yeah,” She replied, taking his hand. What was that about? Had something happened?
Shaking it off, she let Hoseok and Jimin lead her out the door. It only took her the time it took to get to Hoseok’s rented car to realize she was not going out on some friendly outing, but instead on a date with two of the most beautiful humans on Earth. With the warmth of Jimin’s palm on her waist, seeping through the material of her dress, and Hoseok’s hand in hers, there really was no question. Butterflies erupted in her stomach.
“Where are we going?” She murmured, feeling like the atmosphere required a softer tone.
“It’s a surprise,” Hoseok winked, opening the passenger door for her. She ducked her head to try and hide the blood that was rushing to her face.
Why was she being so shy? She’d spent every day with him for weeks!
Settling into her seat, she let out a small squeak when Jimin bent down to buckle her up. No one else had ever buckled her up before, past the age of like 5, and yet he’d done it twice now. His smell surrounded her, making it hard to focus, his face just a hair’s breadth from hers. Even that close, the man did not have a single flaw.
He was probably in her space longer than necessary, but she couldn’t find it in her to complain, and when he pulled back, he turned his head ever so slightly so his lips brushed lightly over hers. She sucked in a sharp breath.
“Sorry,” he breathed, pulling away entirely.
It felt like intense deja vu, why did they all think it was okay to just do things like that? Mind and heart racing, she tried to make sense of her life. So caught up in her thoughts, she didn’t even notice Hoseok slide into the driver’s seat.
Jimin’s lips against hers brought back when he’d had kissed her in her classroom what felt like months ago. So much had happened between then and now, she’d forgotten all about it. Suddenly, she could recall, with perfect clarity, what kissing him felt like.
Soft music drifted from the speakers as the car pulled out onto the road and she might’ve actually enjoyed the drive and beautiful city lights if it weren’t for the confusion and over-thinking clogging up her brain. Jimin, Jimin, Jimin. Jimin…andHoseok. Did this mean they bothliked her? There was no doubt in her mind that she was on a date with them, but… how?How were they okay going on a date with the same person? Where did they see this leading? Did they think she would sleep with them?
Eventually, the car rolled to a stop in front of a beautiful restaurant by the coast. She had never eaten there before, only occasionally driven past, but it was exactly the kind of place Hoseok and Jimin seemed to thrive in.
Cool air rushed in when Jimin opened his door,
“I’m not sleeping with you,” She blurted before he could step out, gripping her seatbelt tightly, not quite confident enough to look up and meet anyone’s gaze.
There was silence until the rear door clicked shut again.
“You’re not… what?” She raised her head and took in Hoseok’s obvious bewilderment.
“I won’t sleep with you, so if this is all just some strategy to get me in bed with you before you leave for Korea, it won’t work,” She bit her lip hard, trying her darndest to keep her composure. At that moment, she needed to stay strong, despite Hoseok’s heavy gaze making her want to submit.
“And where, may I ask, did you get that idea?” He spoke low, clearly displeased with her accusation.
“J-Jimin…” She trailed off, losing her nerve for a second when she turned and saw the said man staring intently at her from the backseat.
“Jimin can’t help himself,” Hoseok interrupted, stealing back her attention, “He doesn’t mean to flirt, he just is.”
“But he kissed me,” She argued, not about to believe that that was an accident,“and you and Seokjin are helping me with my apartment even though you barely know me”
“Jagiya, I kissed you to make a point, not to come onto you,” Jimin rebuffed, coming forward to lean on the center console.
“What point?”
He frowned, “Jungkook thought we didn’t like you, that we weren’t trying to make you like us”
“…So you kissed me?” He wasn’t making sense.
He shook his head, “No, I kissed you because those girls were insulting Jungkookie’s intelligence. As if Jungkook would associate himself with someone that wasn’t worth our time,” he scoffed.
She wanted to tell him that that wasn’t sufficient reason to kiss someone without their consent, but she held back. She was afraid if she told him, he’d never kiss her again. Why thatmattered most, she didn’t know, but something in her thought; better safe than sorry.
“Jagi, we asked you to dinner because we enjoy your company,” Hoseok assured, interrupting her thoughts.
Studying his expression, she tried to discern whether or not he was being genuine. This was dangerous territory, she shouldn’t be making connections with them. They were Jungkook’s family and there was a chance she wouldn’t see them again when they left.
Despite knowing what she shoulddo (run and never look back) she let them lead her into the restaurant, wondering if she’d make it out of this with her heart in one piece.
As they made their way to the front podium, the hostess didn’t spare her much of a glance, but Anastasia couldn’t find it in her to take offense. She understood, she’d much rather look at Hoseok and Jimin, too.
Straightening her posture, the hostess gave them a warm smile, “Hello! Welcome, do you have a reservation?” She spoke directly to Hoseok, who’d waltzed in like he owned the joint.
“Hoseok Jung.” He announced loud and clear. It was obvious by his brief, dismissive tone that he had about as much interest in her as he had in Beatrice. Anastasia pursed her lips at his behavior, but as it wasn’t a familiar environment to her, so she kept her mouth shut.
The woman through the building and out onto the back deck where fairy lights lent their gentle glow and a live band played a soft, calming melody. Almost every table was filled, but they were spaced far enough apart that the quiet chatter wasn’t a disturbance.
Anastasia felt a rush of excitement, never having eaten by the water like this before. Hoseok was still handling any and all interactions, so she turned to Jimin with wide eyes. He returned her look of awe with a wink before motioning for her to sit in the chair he’d pulled out as Hoseok took a seat across the table.
They’d barely settled in and picked up their menus before a cute, doe-eyed boy appeared beside Jimin, introducing himself.
“Good evening, my name is Miloh, I will be your server tonight. May I start you off with something to drink?”
“Do you have a wine menu?” Jimin smiled politely in that enchanting way of his and Miloh just blinked owlishly at him for a moment. Jimin’s smile faded slowly as his eyebrows raised in question, snapping the poor boy out of his staring.
“Yes, of course, I’ll be right back with that.” Anastasia felt bad as the boy almost tripped over someone’s chair in his haste to retreat.
Neither Jimin nor Hoseok seemed phased, though, turning their attention back to their menus.
“See anything you like?” Jimin asked, looking up at her and nodding to the menu in her hands.
“O-oh. Right.” Jeez, she was no better than Miloh. Tearing her gaze away from him to scan the options, she bit her lip in contemplation. She’d never tried lobster before…
Glancing down at the price, her eyes bugged out. “Jimin, you’re paying, right?”
Both the men erupted in giggles. “Yes, we’re paying”
She smiled charmingly, “In that case, can I try the lobster?”
Jimin’s giggle broke out into a full laugh (that was somehow neither loud nor obnoxious). Hoseok looked thoroughly amused as well, but unlike his usual happy-go-lucky self, he was holding it together.
Her smile turned sheepish, but she was relieved to see that they hadn’t taken any offense at her cheekiness.
The night carried on smoothly after that. Miloh had collected himself and returned the epitome of professionalism, serving them their food and wine with practiced ease. Hoseok kept her attention most of the night, flirting and making her laugh with his effortless charm. Jimin stayed fairly silent, casually leaning back into his chair, sipping wine. He looked at ease.
By the end of the night, they were all tipsy, giggling their way down the beach, Hoseok with an arm over her shoulder, as usual.
“Awe~,” she whined, coming to a stop.
“What’s wrong, Jagi?” He hummed contentedly as he rested his head against hers.
“My shoes! They’ll be — oh!” She cut off, almost losing her balance when she lifted a leg up to take them off. Maybe she was more intoxicated than she realized.
“I’ll do it!” Jimin pranced over from where he’d been toeing the waves. He’d drank more than either Hoseok or her and was teetering on the edge of fucking drunk. Evidence of it showed in the way all his movements swayed.
Dropping into a crouch at her feet, he began unbuckling her shoes, biting his plump lower lip in concentration. She couldn’t help inhaling a sharp breath when he looked up at her with a dark grin after successfully removing the first shoe. When he finished, he tossed both of them carelessly to the side, letting himself tip backward onto the sand — landing like a starfish. She watched with a stupid grin as Hoseok took it as an invitation to jump on top of him and pinch his cheeks.
The two busied themselves rolling around in the sand, roughhousing, as she turned her attention to the waves, feeling the cool sea breeze envelop her. The air had just the perfect amount of chill in it.
A startled shriek left her when she was abruptly — and quite literally — pulledfrom her thoughts and down to the sandy ground. There was a moment of laughter between the two men and she couldn’t help but join in in their contagious sounds of joy.
The three ended up laying there for a while, just staring up at the black, starless sky. Anastasia didn’t know how long the comfortable silence went on before it was broken. It was a treasured moment of peace that felt like forever. Her thoughts hadn’t been that quiet in…she couldn’t remember how long.
“You look lovely in this dress,” Jimin murmured out of nowhere, brushing a strand of hair back behind her ear. She turned to look at him, wondering absently how long he’d been watching her.
Smiling, she returned the compliment, “You look ‘cutie, sexy, lovey’ ,” she teased, repeating what she’d heard him say a couple of times, but the amusement faded when she looked him up and down, “Maybe just ‘sexy, lovely’. ” she amended.
“Jagiya, why do you have to live so far away?” Hoseok suddenly huffed, leaning in to rest his head on her lap. The atmosphere instantly became more somber at his reminder.
“Hey, I’m not the one moving to an entirely different country.” She evaded, sitting up to boop his nose.
He scowled and pushed her hand away, sitting up to face Jimin.
“Jiminie, you’re so lucky, you got to kiss her!” He whined.
“I know.” Jimin sighed, a little too dreamily for her piece of mind.
“I —he—what?” she stuttered. What was happening? She was too drunk for this.
Hoseok cupped her blushing cheeks, staring intently into her eyes. “Can I kiss you, Jagi?”
Anastasia froze, unable to process the request. Her blood rushed in her ears, making it hard to think. Did she just nod her consent?
Eyes fluttering shut, she felt his lips gently land on hers. With his hands still cupping her cheeks, the kiss had to be one of the sweetest kisses she’d ever received.
Anastasia blamed the wine in her veins for her next move.
Surging forward as he began to pull back, she latched her lips onto his in a deeper kiss, stunning him for a moment. It didn’t take long for him to recover, his grip becoming firmer. They made out like that, awkwardly sprawled in the sand until an impatient whine beside them caught her attention.
Springing back from Hoseok, she covered her mouth. Shit. Shit. Shit!What was she doing?!
Jimin just stared seductively, his head tilted to the side almost erotically —like an invitation to mark up his neck.
She quickly shook the thought away. “No, no, no, I didn’t mean to do that.”
“Tasia, wait.” Hoseok rushed when she stood up to walk away.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.” Shame enveloped her.
She was in love with her best friend, yet she went around kissing the people most important to him? What kind of person did that make her? Did Jungkook know she’d kissed Jimin? What would he think if he knew she’d now kissed Yoongi and Hoseok, too?
He would think she was a horrible, three-timing, bitch.And he wouldn’t be wrong, because allthe kisses were equally amazing and as much as she hated herself for it, she couldn’t bring herself to wish they’d never happened.
They were so different. Jimin was passionate and needy, lighting a fire inside her, Yoongi was cheeky, daring her to challenge him, Hoseok was sweet, but firm, gentlemanly but in charge. When they’d kissed her, it felt like she’d never been kissed before, like anything before them didn’t exist.
Stop thinking about it!
“Anastasia.” Something in Jimin’s voice made her stop, but she resisted turning around to face him. Slowly, he approached her, wrapping his arms around her waist and planting a gentle kiss on her exposed neck.
She didn’t dare react, but her body refused to pull away.
“I liked it.” His smooth, angelic voice murmured in her ear, “I like watching. You looked so good together, I just wanted to watch.” His arms wrapped tighter, a hand trailing up to rest just under her breast. “I wanted to see what you looked like, all flushed and stretched around him. Would you let me watch? Would you let me watch him fuck you dumb? I’d be good, I wouldn’t touch.”
She felt her eyes become lidded, “Ji-Jimin.” her voice trembled and it was all she could do not to moan as his warm hand palmed her chest, contradicting the promise he’d just made.
“Yes, Jagi?” He answered between gentle kisses and suckles on her neck.
“I…” she licked her lips, trying to force a coherent thought that wasn’t just Jimin.
“Jimin.”
They both startled at the commanding tone, Jimin sighing and pulling away. Anastasia instantly missed his touch.
“Next time,” Jimin promised when she turned to face him, his thumb wiping across her bottom lip.
They ended up taking a lift home, as none of them were in any state to drive and she was once again squished in the middle seat, Hoseok’s fingers drumming absentmindedly on her thigh as he stared out the window. But of course, jumping his bones would notbe a good idea. It wouldn’t.
Fuck, she was so pathetic.
When they arrived, she all but shoved Jimin out of the car in her rush to get out and he let out a grunt of surprise at the force with which she blew past him. Her whole body was flushed and she knew if she didn’t get away from them now, she would make a mistake she couldn’t come back from.
“Jagiya,” Hoseok hummed in a way that made her pause, against her better judgment, long enough for him to reach her and pull her into his arms. “We won’t fuck you tonight,” They both ignored Jimin’s noise of complaint, “so let us walk you in, yeah?”
Looking into his warm eyes, she couldn’t deny him. She knew—she knewhe was being manipulative. She didn’t miss his ‘tonight’, implying it wouldhappen another night, she wasn’t so naive to believe they had pure intentions for her, but she was dumb.So, so dumb that she nodded her head and let them lead her up the stairs and into her home.
Gore, violence, zombies, mention of drugs and drug dealing, weapons discharge in self defense, main character death, zombies, course language, zombies, drinking, did I mention zombies?
Summary:
They were the top of their game, known throughout the city as the smartest and most dangerous crew to ever hit the Daegu streets. But what’s going to happen when this group of young men encounter something right out of a horror film?
Gore, violence, zombies, mention of drugs and drug dealing, weapons discharge in self defense, main character death, zombies, course language, zombies, drinking, did I mention zombies?
Summary:
They were the top of their game, known throughout the city as the smartest and most dangerous crew to ever hit the Daegu streets. But what’s going to happen when this group of young men encounter something right out of a horror film?
Gore, violence, zombies, mention of drugs and drug dealing, weapons discharge in self defense, main character death, zombies, course language, zombies, drinking, did I mention zombies?
Summary:
They were the top of their game, known throughout the city as the smartest and most dangerous crew to ever hit the Daegu streets. But what’s going to happen when this group of young men encounter something right out of a horror film?
Gore, violence, zombies, mention of drugs and drug dealing, weapons discharge in self defense, main character death, zombies, course language, zombies, drinking, did I mention zombies?
Summary:
They were the top of their game, known throughout the city as the smartest and most dangerous crew to ever hit the Daegu streets. But what’s going to happen when this group of young men encounter something right out of a horror film?
The kitchen erupted into a surge of chaos at the sound of Jin’s voice. I’d rerouted the audio to my cell phone, which Taehyung had rigged long ago to double as a receiver so we could communicate during missions and various outings.
It was a chorus of shouts and sobbing as the boys scrambled to be heard over each other by their elder.
“How did you survive?”
“What the fuck happened?”
“Where are you now?”
“Are you hurt?”
“I saw you get shot, what the hell?!”
Even Yoongi seemed shaken, which was hard considering.
That windshield wiper laugh sounded through the receiver and I crumpled to the floor, sobbing with relief as I clutched the phone to my chest.
“Aww, come on now boys, look what you did to her.” Even at a distance and fresh from the grave he still managed to find a way to scold his younger brothers.
Jungkook helped me to my feet and I placed the phone on the counter, angling it so that everyone could hear and be heard before burying myself into the crook of his arm.
“Hyung, seriously, how did you manage to survive that shot?” Jimin squatted down at the counter across from me, arms crossed on the metal surface so he could rest his chin on them and still be able to see the phone.
“Same way Hoseok did. We had our vests on.”
This sent another wave of relief and cheering through the group. Even Jeanette and Rose were sobbing off to the side when they heard Hobi’s cheerful hello on the other end of the line.
“Fuck sake man!” Namjoon sniffled as Taehyung wiped his nose on his shoulder. “You both had us half way to grieving over you.”
“Seriously though, what exactly happened?” Junkgook demanded, though he couldn’t hide the tears that clung to the back of his own throat.
And so Seokjin filled us in.
After he’d been shot and Jeanette and Yoongi had been taken away, he’d played dead for a bit. Long enough to watch as the helicopters took off without him.
He’d made his way to the front of the house, almost losing it when he spotted Hobi’s unmoving form on the ground. He’d quickly realized though that the blow back of all those shots had simply rendered the bodyguard unconscious. The bulletproof vest had done its job perfectly.
“We had him checked out, nothing broken, but the ceramic plates in his jacket and vest are fully toast.”
“What do you mean…we?” Namjoon interrupted. His curiosity caused his voice to crack slightly as he spoke, eliciting a snicker from the others.
“Well, you see…”
Jin was interrupted by a voice that had my blood running cold.
“They had a little help from a friend.”
“Eun Kwang!”
A chorus of voices rang out, drawing the attention of several nearby civilians. I smiled at them sheepishly, to which most shrugged and ignored us, though a few seemed to now have at least half an ear turned in our direction. It didn’t matter though, I had more important and pressing matters to attend to.
“You skeevy bastard what the hell?!” Jungkook was nearly purple with rage and I could tell he was on his way to saying something stupid.
I stepped in, touching his arm and gently taking the phone to redirect his attention.
“Easy there killer, not the place or time for all this.” I smiled softly to him, handing the phone over to Namjoon and placing a hand on Jungkook’s cheek.
“Let’s have Namjoon find out what happened. There’s too many people around to have you going full mafia boss rage mode.”
He snorted, though the sound was not one of amusement and we turned our attention to the ongoing conversation.
“We were on our way over to negotiate a peace treaty to be frankly honest.” Eun Kwang’s tone was mocking to say the least, I could almost hear the sneer in his voice.
“Hyun sik heard the chopper first so we hid until the shots died out and the bird took off again. Found your boys barely breathin’ when we managed to get there. Don’t worry though little dongsaeng, we made real sure to secure your property, get everything valuable to a nice an safe place.”
“Mother f…” Jungkook inhaled. I could feel the rising tension in his form, the muscles in his arms writhing beneath my fingertips as he clenched and unclenched his fists.
“Boss?” Namjoon whispered, eyes scanning his younger brother’s face as his brows creased with concern.
“What do you want Eun Kwang…” Jungkook asked, words clipped as he struggled to keep his temper under control.
“Well, I know you and your crew are in a bit of a bind. Trapped on that American base with no way out and surrounded by rabid bodies? Not a good look man.”
“And?!”
“I’ll help you escape, sure. But on one condition.”
Jungkook growled, throwing his hands up in the air and turning away with a huff.
“Of course there’s a fucking catchin!” He slammed his fist on the counter, causing Jeanette to yelp from the corner. I sent her a half hearted and apologetic smile.
“What do you want Eun Kwang?” I muttered into the phone when I took it from Joon.
“I want Daegu.”
“What?!”
“If I send my crew out there, I’m risking their lives to get you out. I need to know that the risk is worth the reward. Daegu is my reward.”
“But Eun…”
“Yes yes, I know. How is that going to work if you all are still in Daegu when this is all over? Simple. I want you all gone. I don’t care where you go or what you do. But Daegu is mine.”
Namjoon stepped up, waving for me to hand him the phone again. I obliged, passing it over and turning to watch Jungkook as he began pacing again.
“Why not just leave us here then? Why not just let the Americans deal with us or kill us or whatever it is they have planned for us?”
“Because if anyone’s gonna kill Jungkook, it’s gonna be me. You damn well best believe I’m not letting any other mother fucker have that satisfaction.”
***
Our conversation was suddenly interrupted by a commotion at the kitchen door. I grabbed the phone quickly, lowering the audio volume as much as possible while shushing the men on the other end of the line.
“We’ve got company.” I muttered, hoping that whatever this could be, it wouldn’t spell disaster for our escape plans.
“Daddy!” The shout echoed across the kitchen as several soldiers walked in, startling us to no end as one of the nearby children rushed over and nearly tackled one of the soldiers to the ground.
The sight would have been heartwarming if not for the fact that as soon as the two hugged it out the young boy began whispering to his father while pointing back at us several times.
“Fuck…” Jungkook grumbled. Apparently he’d been watching the exchange as well.
“There’s nothing we can do about it now Boss.” Namjoon moved to block our sight of the two, pulling our attention back to him as he shoved his hands in his pocket.
“If we draw attention to it now they’ll know or at least suspect that something’s up. Just watch and wait for now, see where this takes us.”
It didn’t take long for the commotion to become organized.
The group was divided into two lines, children at the front and adults split into two groups that were led out into the darkness of the bowling alley.
After hurriedly ending the call and shoving the phone in my pocket I joined the groups. Half of us were led to the front of the building, Rose, Jeanette, and myself included, while the others were instructed to stay put.
“They’re taking us to the bathrooms.” The little girl that had taken a liking to Namjoon and Jeanette whispered up to me.
I smiled down at her gratefully, heat rising to my cheeks when she slipped her tiny hand in mine and squeezed it tightly.
“I wish they would take us more often, but Mommy said they do it so that the ones with guns can keep us safe from the monsters.” She glanced toward the front door, eyes wide as her gaze darted across the dusky twilight of the sky.
I squeezed her hand, bringing her attention back to me so I could shoot her a reassuring grin.
“It’s brave of them to want to protect us, don’t you think?” I asked as we made our way into the imposing darkness of the women’s bathroom. A few of the sinks had lanterns on them, but it really did little to dispel the gloom that prevailed in the entirety of the large space.
“Well…I guess it’s brave. But really they’re just pretending. Grown-ups do that a lot.” She shrugged, letting go of my hand and making her way to one of the toilet stalls.
I wondered at her words as I did the same, finishing my business as quickly as possible so I could spend a moment or two longer at the sink.
I glanced to the side after finishing with my face, smiling and letting out a small chuckle that echoed slightly when the little girl had reappeared beside me with Jeanette, Rose, and her mother in tow.
Reaching her hand out once more she quickly pulled me into the group, giggling the whole way back to the kitchen at the new friends she’d made for herself.
When we got back I broke away from the others, making my way over to Jungkook who’s eyes were on the dad and son duo we’d been watching earlier. He frowned when the adult glanced our way, his fist clenching at his side when the man began walking over.
“Kookie, you’re gonna end up with arthritis if this keeps up.”
He glanced down at me, face full of confusion as I wrapped my hand around his fist and brought it up to gently brush my lips over the knuckles. “Relax baby. I know this is tough but please, ease up on yourself.”
I wasn’t even sure if my words registered in his mind as the man in uniform stopped before us, hand on the holster at his hip as he sized us up.
“My son tells me you all have a plan?” His clipped Korean sounded foreign on his tongue, though the pronunciation was immaculate.
“Couldn’t possibly begin to know what you mean, Sir.” I replied, giving him my most charming smile possibly.
“Mmm, no I get it. With everything going on, what reason do you have to trust me?” He shrugged, leaning his hip against the counter and finally moving his hand away from his holster to cross his arms over his chest.
I tilted my head, smile still in place as I attempted to sooth the seething beast that was Jungkook by tracing my fingers over the bulging muscles in his forearms.
“We weren’t exactly given a choice to leave our home, safe as it was and out of the way of the chaos. Two of our family members were shot and killed, and by YOUR people at that.” I shook my head, eyes brimming with tears to emphasize the point.
The soldier sighed, nodding and frowning as he turned to look out at the group of civilians loitering around the spacious kitchen. “Sad fact is, people tend to do stupid shit when they think they’re saving people. Get high and mighty in their authority and think they’ve become god when they’re the ones holding the guns.”
I hummed in thought, curling my fingers over Jungkook’s knuckles and placing just enough pressure to encourage him to loosen his fingers so that I could slip my hand into his.
“Seems that’s a universal fit. People with authority want to keep their authority, no matter who or what gets in their way.”
The soldier pursed his lips, eyes finding the young boy who’d called him Daddy earlier. He was now playing with the young girl and Namjoon, smiles bright as he told them one of his many stories while balancing each of them on either of his knees. The man was good with kids, there was no doubt about that.
“I’ve seen the type of people my so called superiors are. The way they run things around here? I’d rather have my kid out there on the streets than have them in this dingy ass kitchen until whatever’s left of the world’s governments decides to figure their shits out.” He turned back to use, face determined for a moment before softening into a look of sad resignation.
“Look, whatever it is you and your people are planning, me and mine are in. Just say the word and we got your back, there’s more of us than them. In the end you can’t lose.”
➭ “You’ve always stayed far away from the Kingsnakes, the coldblooded gang that runs the dark heart of your city. That is until your life collides with the intriguing and dangerous Jung Hoseok.”
** warnings: Dark themes, graphic descriptions of violence including use of a gun, depictions of injuries and blood, explicit drug references, gang activity, character death, light derogatory language during sex, light breathplay **
Hoseok has always lived his life at full speed.
He’s a reckless man, it’s a trait he learned from being in the Kingsnakes. He likes everything to be in motion, he craves hedonistic pleasures that pass as quickly as they come.
He doesn’t do slow, he doesn’t do careful.
But this, now – he finds himself slowing down, right down, until he is trickling slowly to a stop. In this moment, everything ceases to matter except for this.
You.
His breath is shaky, and he’s certain that you can hear his nerves, sense how out of control his heart rate is. He silently tells himself to say something, say anything.
“I think I’m…” He swallows, his gaze sliding from your eyes to your mouth, rakes over the bridge of your nose, your jaw – all the pieces of you that have become so familiar to him.
“…I…” He doesn’t how to articulate what he’s feeling. He can’t place it, the way his whole body is trembling, how drunk he feels on an emotion that brims euphoric and confusing and terrifying all at once.
He doesn’t know what to say, how to say it. His throat tightens uncomfortably because he is so completely out of his element -
His thoughts stop as you press closer and kiss him. He’s a little surprised, and initially he doesn’t react. Then he breathes in, smells you, the scent that he finds himself missing at strange times throughout the day. Everything goes still, everything goes quiet, and his entire body shivers in focus.
I think I’m falling in love with you.
He keeps you close when your lips part from his. He is breathing harder than before, but he feels surprisingly steady. He reaches up, his thumb trails over your cheekbone with surprising tenderness.
‘I’ll leave the Kingsnakes.”
Silence. For one frightening, prolonged moment – Hoseok wonders if he’s said the wrong thing.
“I… I’ve been thinking about it for a while and it’s time to move on. I don’t want that to be my life anymore.”
He watches as your eyes unfocus, like they are glazed over in surprise by his words. He holds his breath.
“Are you sure?”
Your words are tentative and Hoseok lets out a tiny exhale. “Yeah,” He says quietly, speaking partially to you and partially to himself. “I’m sure. I want to be with you.”
He locks his eyes on you, watches your eyes widen in realization. He wonders fleetingly if he’s been too presumptive, said too much. A violent thrum of anxiety blooms in his chest.
“That’s um, that’s not the only reason by the way, there’s a lot of reasons why I want to leave. Just so you know.”
He watches as you do that thing that you do when you try to stifle a laugh, your nose twitching. He wonders when he had memorized your face so closely, studied the lines of your lips and learned how you wore your emotions.
“There’s a lot of reasons?”
Hoseok retreats, feels an anxious heat spread over his face. “Not a lot but a few reasons, yeah.”
This time you do smile, in fact, you huff out a little as you speak.
“And I’m one of the reasons?”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Maybe?”
You’re smiling in earnest, you step closer to him and Hoseok suddenly has to fight the urge to not propel himself forward and wrap himself up in you yet again. He’s rendered silent and he silently curses you and your eyes, eyes which are equal parts hypnotic and all consuming.
“Uh huh.”
He looks at you carefully, nerves clustered against his ribs – and then you smile, step closer.
“You’re one of my reasons too.”
Oh.
Hoseok feels like he might cry or scream or punch the air, or all of the above all at once. He has a surreal, heady thrill of exhilaration pulsing through his veins - because you are staring up at him and you just said he was a reason and God…
Hoseok has to say something, anything. But his head and his heart are all spinning and he can hardly manage a coherent thought.
“Cool.”
He’s barely aware of what he’s said, all he knows is that he so badly wants to kiss you.
You clear your throat, step in place.
“Hoseok, I-”
Hoseok’s phone vibrates and then rings. Loudly, and Hoseok is pulled out of focus. He strolls over to where his phone is on the bathroom floor, and looks at the screen.
One letter. Z.
His mind snaps back into fast forward, returns to habit and routine. He flips through his options at lightning speed – he can ignore the call, turn off his phone, tell you that it was nothing, no one. Or, he can take the call. Stop running, stop hiding, leave for good.
He makes the decision quickly.
“I’ve gotta take this.”
He doesn’t wait for you to respond steps out of the bathroom, pressing the phone to his ear.
“Sungmin.”
“Hoseok. Are you at your place?”
Hoseok freezes, thinks of you, wrapped in a towel, in his bathroom.
“No. I’m out. Why?”
The lie falls smoothly off his tongue and Hoseok walks towards his bedroom, sits on the bed.
“I need a favour.”
“A favour? Man I’m… now’s not a good time-”
“You owe me.”
Hoseok is momentarily silenced. His room is completely dark and Hoseok stares numbly into the space in front of him. He knows Z is right, that Hoseok does indeed owe him from all those years ago. Once again, he tries to run through the options but his mind sticks, grinding to an uncomfortable halt. He knows he’s taking too long to answer, but he doesn’t know what to say.
“Come to my place and we can talk.”
Fuck. Hoseok feels his hand curl instinctively into a fist, his throat tightens. He plays with the idea of telling Z right here and now that he’s done with everything, telling him that he wants out. But he doesn’t. He can’t. He thinks of you standing alone in his bathroom, and closes his eyes. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Alright. I’ll be there in ten.”
He keeps his voice controlled, even though he feels like he’s spiralling.
Z doesn’t answer, he just hangs up the phone, and Hoseok stays completely still, his hand still tightly coiled in a fist.
Z is waiting outside, leaning against his motorbike. He nods in greeting as Hoseok approaches.
“What’s going on?” Hoseok asks as he stands opposite Z, glancing over at the leader of the Kingsnakes.
“Where were you?” Z asks instead, and Hoseok falters.
“I was…” He tries to think of a lie quick enough, but as always, Z catches him out before he can.
“You were with her,” He guesses. Hoseok doesn’t answer, he just feels an uncomfortable flare in his chest. Z’s eyes are steady on Hoseok, his gaze unflinching.
Hoseok on the other hand, shifts nervously in place.
“We’ve known each other since we were kids, Hoseok. Or have you forgotten that?”
All the venom from the phone call is gone from Z’s voice. His face tilts up as he poses the question, eyebrows pinched. Hoseok can’t remember the last time he saw Z like this, his face so open and vulnerable, voice laced with uncertainty. It makes Hoseok’s chest ache.
“I haven’t forgotten man, I just-”
“-You’ve just chosen… her. Over us.”
Hoseok looks down. The ground is littered with cigarette butts, some so old that they’re disintegrating into the soil. Hoseok can’t count how many evenings he’s spent standing right here, outside Z’s house. Chain smoking cigarettes until the sun spills out over the horizon, feeling exhaustion and pride and hollow emptiness sink into his bones, right until the deadened cigarette is flicked under his feet, crushed into the earth. It’s a life he’s lived for so long that it feels like habit to him now. It’s a life he doesn’t want anymore.
“Can we talk about this later, man?”
Z doesn’t answer. A heavy silence settles between the two men. It speaks volumes. When Hoseok looks up, Z’s face is cold.
Whatever vulnerability Hoseok had seen earlier in Z’s face is gone, drained away. Hoseok takes a deep breath. Readies himself for whatever is next.
“Sungmin,” Hoseok clears his throat. “What exactly is the favour?”
Z is quiet, giving Hoseok a hard, assessing stare.
“I need someone to be my backup. Doing a pickup tonight, one of the new kids was supposed to do it but I don’t completely trust him yet.”
Hoseok bites his lip. He knows Z has rigorous hurdles that he makes aspiring members of the gang complete before they earn his ‘trust’, and Hoseok eyes the other man, wondering if there is any shred of trust left between them.
“Who was it?”
Z rolls his eyes and scoffs. “Jimin.”
Hoseok frowns. It’s difficult for him to picture Jimin as a Kingsnake, from his interactions with Z’s younger brother – Jimin had always seemed so young, so naïve.
I was that young and that naïve once too. Hoseok just grimaces at the thought and sighs.
“Is that all? You just need backup for a deal?”
“Mm. That shouldn’t be a problem, right? You’ve done it hundreds of times. We’ve done it hundreds of times.”
Z offers Hoseok a thin smile and Hoseok just lets out a resigned “tch”, right from the back of his throat. They certainly have done backup, pick ups, all of it – hundreds of times. For a moment, he feels a twist of regret in his chest from how things had become so dark and messy between them, and so fucked up amongst the Kingsnakes.
“Yeah. Alright. When’s the pick up then?”
“Now, pretty much. Our contact is waiting at the fishing docks on the edge of the city, y’know, where our big shipping containers are.”
“Number 1802?’
“What else?”
Hoseok’s lips twist into a wry smile despite the situation. Years ago, it had been his and Z’s idea to rent a shipping container of their own, have a private space to conduct deals, to party, to do whatever the hell they wanted. They selected 1802 after Hoseok’s birthday. He supposes it’s fitting that his final favour to Z will take place in that very shipping container.
“Alright then,” Hoseok sighs. He reaches in his back pocket, pulling out the keys to his motorbike. Z is still watching him, and Hoseok nods to the other man. “Let’s get outta here.”
When Hoseok pulls up at the fishing docks, he feels a strange stir of nostalgia. As he swings off his bike and lands with a crunch onto the gravel below, it feels like déjà vu – this, the ocean air on his face, the inky grey light of the fishing dock, the eerie splash of water beneath them. And this, more than anything else, feels like déjà vu – him and Z walking side by side towards shipping container 1802.
In the past, they would walk in long, sloping strides – brimming with confidence and excitement and just absolute pride, talking about which girls they were going to fuck, what cocktail of drugs they planned to get fucked up on, laughing and jostling each other like a pair of kids who had grown up way too fast. Now, they walked in complete silence.
They reach the shipping container and Hoseok opens the door. It swings open with a slight creak on its rusted hinges. The light bulb that they had set up six years ago blinks down with unforgiving, fluorescent lighting, and waiting in the centre of the room is a young man, lounging crosslegged and smoking a joint.
“Oh!” He hurries to his feet, stamps out the blunt and runs a hand through his hair. “Hey.”
Hoseok squints a little, before he places his face in his memory.
“Changkyun?”
Changkyun’s eyes are bleary, confused, but they land on Hoseok and squint a little harder. “Uh,” He mumbles, “Hey man.”
He’s high. That much is evident, and Hoseok is fairly certain given his current state of mind, he has no idea who Hoseok is. Hoseok however is familiar with him – Changkyun one of the most active dealers in their city, slinging directly from the manufacturer to the gangs of this string of cities. Hoseok has dealt with him multiple times and knows that each transaction with Changkyun is easy, smooth. The man is soft around the edges and doesn’t have a violent bone in his body, just a monster of a drug problem. Hoseok breathes a sigh of relief, knowing that his job as backup will be relatively straightforward tonight.
“You got our stuff?” He asks, glancing over at Z, who has not spoken. He is standing with his arms by his sides, staring directly at Changkyun with a focused, intent stare.
“Yeah man, here.” Changkyun fumbles in his pocket, pulls out a large, tightly packed satchel. “Y’can try it if you want, otherwise I’ve got some other stuff on me that’s real fuckin’ good-”
“We’re good. Just put it down on the ground.” Hoseok interrupts. Changkyun just shrugs, sniffs loudly and places the satchel down on the ground.
Hoseok eyes it warily, it’s a huge pick up for them. It’s enough to sell and enough to use, and furthermore – it’s a flaky, rough looking white powder. It looks unfamiliar to his eye, and he frowns, turning to Z.
“What is it?”
Z doesn’t look at Hoseok. His eyes are still pinned on Changkyun.
“H.”
Hoseok struggles to maintain his composure, eyes darting from the satchel to the ground. H? He knew that the Kingsnakes had been falling further and deeper into more dangerous shit but this? This he had no idea about. He sneaks a look at Changkyun, who looks unfazed, and wonders how many times this has happened - how long this kid has been delivering the Kingsnakes hardline drugs in these quantities, what else Hoseok has been in the dark about when it comes to Kingsnake activity.
Z finally moves, stepping forward to pick up the satchel. He weighs it experimentally in one hand, but he still doesn’t speak.
Something ripples through the air. Hoseok picks up on it immediately, his shoulders stiffen. It’s something palpable and electric, it screams at him to stay still, to not move. His eyes snap to Z, who is still standing perfectly still, the satchel still in his hands.
“So,” Changkyun glances up, wiping at his eyes drowsily, “About payment -”
Z darts forward. He strikes fast, like a rattlesnake.
Hoseok blinks, it takes him a moment to register what he is seeing - Z, holding Changkyun around the neck.
The younger man struggles, like a fish out of water, eyes bulging for a moment before his body crumples. Hoseok stumbles backward as Changkyun’s body falls forward, and a heavy silence hangs in the air.
“Z - what the fuck?” Hoseok shouts, and Z shrugs. He digs in his pocket and pulls out a cigarette, lighting it as he talks.
“He’s alive, relax.”
Hoseok stares blankly at Z, who takes a long drag from his cigarette.
“Yeah but why did you do that? What the fuck, man?”
Z doesn’t respond immediately, instead he walks up to Changkyun’s unconscious body, prodding it half-heartedly with the tip of his black boot. He scoffs, inhales, exhales a plume of smoke.
“He’s been playing us.” Z says simply. Hoseok feels a strange twist in the pit of his stomach.
“What- what the fuck are you talking about-”
“We’re sure. All of the H he’s been selling us for the last four months has been laced with fent.”
Hoseok lets out a breath that he hadn’t known he was holding in. He glances down at the man - boy, really - who is completely unconscious, mouth slightly agape.
Hoseok had heard whispers of a spike in overdoses in their city, of bad batches - but it had never occurred to him that it was because the product had been messed with directly.
Hoseok feels a twinge of fear and tries to control his features, tries his hardest to not crumble even the slightest amount. Changkyun is just a kid, Hoseok can already think of a hundred different reasons why their drugs had been tampered with - maybe a rival gang had put the dealer up to it, or it had been sourced from a manufacturer who had a twisted agenda, or maybe it was all just a fucked up coincidence.
“Alright, well at least know we know, we can put word out to blacklist him-”
“We’re not putting anything out, Hoseok. He’s been fucking with us. Thinking he can get away with our name being dragged through the God damn mud. Our profits have slipped in the last few weeks and now I finally have an answer as to why.”
Z starts laughing, a soft, flat laugh that Hoseok knows all too well.
“Sungmin, c’mon man, he’s just a kid-” Hoseok starts weakly, but Z just raises a finger. Hoseok falls silent, watching as the other man lifts the cigarette to his lips, inhales.
A long, heavy pause, ash falls from the end of the cigarette.
“I don’t give a fuck about whether he’s a kid or not. That’s irrelevant.”
Hoseok doesn’t speak. His pulse is starting to quicken, that horrible sensation in his stomach coagulating into knots.
Z is still laughing, but his laughs are humourless and silent, leaving behind a soundless sneer on his face.
Z bends over Changkyun’s body, cigarette still perched between his lips as he rifles under the unconscious boy’s clothes. Hot ash falls on the unconscious man’s face, scattering down from his forehead to the apples of his cheeks.
Hoseok’s attention is drawn away, his eyes pinning on the object that Z has found, and is now holding in his hands.
“Well,” Z tuts softly, “Would you look at that.”
There, in Z’s hands, is a small black revolver. Hoseok doesn’t move a muscle.
“He came prepared,” Z murmurs, his voice silken. “How thoughtful of him.” He runs his fingertips along the gun, almost caressing it. Hoseok can’t think, he can’t breathe.
“Hoseok.” Z addresses him directly, and he holds the gun out to him. It glints dully in the light of the warehouse. “Here’s your favour.”
No.
“Sungmin - c’mon, man. This is too much. He doesn’t deserve it, just let him go-”
Hoseok struggles to keep his voice calm, his face passive. He can’t let Z see how he’s really feeling, he has to maintain his cool. Each instinct in his body, survival instinct perhaps - is violently screaming at him to stay still.
“It’s not about what he deserves or doesn’t deserve. It’s about teaching lessons.” Z responds in a curt, icy voice. “You owe me a favour, Hoseok. It’s time to repay that favour, don’t you think?”
Hoseok is breathless. He can’t stop staring at the gun, held in Z’s hands, dangling so carelessly from his fingers. His fingers twitch.
“This wasn’t what you told me the favour was going to be, Sungmin.”
Z shrugs. “Circumstances change.”
Hoseok can’t fucking breathe. It feels like he is anchored in place, eyes locked on the revolver in front of him.
He shouldn’t have come tonight, he shouldn’t have let himself be here, trapped between a man with a gun and an unconscious man who he’s being asked to kill.
A dark, velvet voice in the depths of Hoseok’s mind whisper to him to just do it, to take the gun. That he’s done worse, that this is blameless, that Z is right - that life is about teaching lessons and learning your place. The voice lures Hoseok in for a split second, whispers that this isn’t new to Hoseok, Hoseok is hardly a stranger to this world of violence.
Hoseok grits his teeth, bites down on his lip hard enough to draw blood. He pushes the voice out and forces his eyes away from Changkyun and to the Kingsnakes leader standing in front of him.
Z in fact looks bored by it, lighting a fresh new cigarette, dropping the discarded butt next to Changkyun’s body. He looks unbothered, completely unperturbed by the gun in his hands or his command to Hoseok to kill him.
It occurs to Hoseok that he had been just the same not too long ago - emotionless, blank, watching as others inflicted violence on his behalf, and Z’s behalf.
Hoseok glances down again at Changkyun. It would be so easy- to pull the trigger, to be free, to walk away from it all. The Old Hoseok wouldn’t have even hesitated. But Hoseok stares at the young boy, ash still scattered over his features, eyelids slightly blown out, and shudders. He thinks of you, the way you carefully conceal all your emotions and put on a facade of strength, of what he would do if it were you lying here, body crumpled and awaiting its fate on a slab of concrete.
“I can’t.”
There is a brief pause, Hoseok hears Z shifting, sighing. Glancing up, he sees Z grinding a cigarette beneath one foot, a cool expression etched on his features.
“You owe me, Hoseok.”
“Not for this! This wasn’t the favour, being back up was the favour-”
“And this is being my back up.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, I can’t fucking do it-”
Hoseok cuts his sentence off midway, muscles locking in place. He’s developed a sixth sense now for these kinds of things, learned how to adapt, how to react - but he’s still not quick enough. He sees the fist flying towards his face seconds before it connects, but he cannot move in time.
Z slams into his face and Hoseok reels backwards, colliding on the cement floor. Hoseok is swearing, his hands instinctively flying up to protect himself. It doesn’t hurt, not right away. Instead Hoseok is dazed. It’s like a loud bell has been struck right between his eyes. For a moment he is utterly disoriented, scrabbling around on the ground.
Hoseok knows it’s adrenaline that is masking the pain, his vision starts to clear enough to see Z standing there, shaking his hand out, a bored expression on his face. Hoseok’s vision is still blurry, but not blurry enough to miss Z picking up the gun.
Z pulls the trigger back and points it at Changkyun, who is still out cold.
Hoseok opens his mouth to speak, to say something, but his head is spinning too hard. He opens his mouth, but he’s too late. He, the man who has lived most of his life at full speed, fast forward - is not quick enough. The gun fires, Changkyun’s body jerks.
Hoseok’s feels the blood rush to his head, his lungs constrict. his vision is still muddled at the edges. Hoseok sees the blood, as burgundy as red wine, seeping out from underneath Changkyun’s body. Hoseok’s stomach turns.
He’s seen blood, he’s washed blood from his hands. But this is different.
Hoseok can’t stop staring. His vision is finally starting to gain more clarity, but it’s like he can see red everywhere. Hoseok suddenly feels weak, his head still spinning from how hard he had been punched, his stomach nauseous from seeing another man being shot in cold blood with no warning right in front of him. Faintly, he hears Z let out a laugh, that same fucking laugh that Hoseok despises.
“Alright, your favour to me can be cleaning this mess up. Either that or you can leave the rat here to bleed dry.”
Something in Hoseok snaps, like glass smashing to pieces on a cement bed.
He stumbles up, staggering a little. His blood is hot, so hot that he can feel it rushing through him.
“There is nofavour,” Hoseok spits out. “The favour is fucking done. I’m done. With you, with all of this. I want out.”
A heavy silence hangs in the air before Z turns to face Hoseok properly, one eyebrow raised. His face is cold, unreadable and Hoseok feels that familiar sting of fear, but this time, it fuels him. He is shaking, his mind racing with images - of you, of the man in the convenience store, of Z, of Taehyung, of his sister and mother, of Changkyun lying in streaks of his own blood.
“I’m leaving the Kingsnakes,” Hoseok persists, his voice wavers with how forcefully he spits out his words, his head is spinning so hard that he feels queasy, “And if you have a problem with it then shoot me right here and now, I swear to fucking God.”
Six seconds pass. Six exactly, Hoseok knows, because he has his breath held the entire time. Six seconds where Z regards him with cold disdain… and then lifts the gun.
Hoseok can’t breathe. For a moment, he wishes that he hadn’t spoken so flippantly, and said what he said.
Because now, the cold, hard barrel of the gun is pointed directly at him.
He stares at Z, looks into the dark depths of his eyes. His gaze ticks down to the red black and white striped kingsnake that coils around his neck, tongue flickering up near his jaw.
I’m going to die.
Hoseok had always wondered what would be going through his head in the moments leading up to his death. He had pictured it several ways, imagined that he would stay calm and strong and collected, or at worst - scream and fight back. But he hadn’t expected this.
He is white with fear, left emptied by it, completely locked in place.
He doesn’t want to die.
He had always approached death with a fearless kind of approach, that was the mindset of all the Kingsnakes - death was as finely entwined with their everyday lives as life was in anyone else’s. But Hoseok isn’t a Kingsnake anymore. And now, the thought of death, and being here, tasting it, it terrifies him right to his very core.
His senses are hyper alert. He can smell Changkyun’s blood, the viscous scent filling his nostrils. He can feel the terror pouring through him, clogging his veins and arteries. He can see nothing but the gun, pointed at him, and the man standing behind it. The man who was once his friend, once his leader.
He’s going to die.
Z pulls back the safety. The noise scrapes. Hoseok flinches.
He thinks of you, your eyes, your lips, your hands. All the pieces of you that he’s memorized so closely. He’s going to die.
And then Z pulls the trigger.
Nothing.
Hoseok looks down at his chest, blinking rapidly. He can feel his breathing swelling, harder and deeper until he feels like he’s breathing toomuch but he can’t stop. He feels his hands loosen, they had been in such tight fists that he has small red crescent moons carved in the flesh of his palm.
Nothing.
It had been an empty chamber.
Hoseok lets out a sharp exhale and feels his entire body sag in relief. His eyes spring with tears, he flinches when he hears the clatter of the gun falling to the ground. Z had pulled the trigger, with the intent to pump whatever was left in the clip straight into Hoseok’s chest. But nothing.
“Huh,” Hoseok is faintly aware of Z’s voice, slightly irritated. “The idiot was only carrying one bullet round with him? Fuckin’ rat.”
Hoseok feels like there is a loud blaring in his ears, he is shaking all over as he pulls himself up. He finally drags his eyes away from where he is still staring at the centre of his chest, to look at Z. Hoseok isn’t crying, but he knows his eyes are wild, pupils dilated, each breath harsh and rattling. Z just stares.
“You’re right. You are done,” Z says in a voice that is like black ice. “If you want out, then get out.”
Hoseok pauses. His heartbeat is still thrumming at a fast pace, a drumbeat in his ears, he can barely muster the words. His mind, fragmented with fear but still logical, tells him to make sure he’ll be safe, make sure this isn’t Z fucking with him-
“Z… please-”
“Hoseok. I said you’re done. Now get out.”
Hoseok and Z exchange one long, hard stare. Hoseok realizes he had referred to his Sungmin as Z, and not by name.
He inhales, once, shakily, and doesn’t speak.
He turns. He walks slowly, because he is still trembling. Violently trembling. He can still smell it in the air, the pungent scent of blood and flesh. He can hear a lighter, knows that Z is lighting another cigarette, ashes scattering down around Changkyun’s body. Hoseok’s eye is starting to ache from where the punch had landed before, his muscles still painfully clenched from how hard he had tensed in the moment the trigger was pulled.
Hoseok knows he will have that image scarred deep into his mind, Z, pulling the trigger with no hesitation whatsoever.
When Hoseok finally reaches the very end of the warehouse, he pauses. Just long enough to hang his head low, to squeeze his eyes shut.
He whispers a silent goodbye, whether it’s to Sungmin, to Changkyun, to the old him who he knows is still standing in that warehouse dutifully by Sungmin’s side… he doesn’t know.
Still, he says it, a farewell, and then he slips out of the warehouse and into the night.
The air is misty with rain. Hoseok is too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice storm clouds gathering, and when the first fat raindrop falls, landing on his forehead, he is finally pulled out of his tangled thoughts.
He hadn’t realized how tired he had been. How exhausting it had felt to be in the Kingsnakes, to have the weight of the group crushing him down inch by inch until breathing no longer felt normal.
Raindrops start to fall faster, and Hoseok wraps his arms around himself. He had been so tired.
There are so many thoughts and emotions rolling over Hoseok in waves, it reminds him of how it feels to be coming down after a high – everything is sharpening back in focus, his head feels like it’s splitting open, his mind jumbled and confused.
He feels shell shocked, that it had really happened, that he had heard the trigger being pulled in front of him, that he had left the Kingsnakes. He feels exhilarated, knowing that if things had gone even slightly different tonight, he may not be here now – walking towards his house, shivering in the rain. He feels bitterness, acerbic and sharp from recalling the crunch of Z’s fist into his face, the ring of the gunshot, the body lifeless on the ground. He feels a thread of guilt, for leaving the group of people that had saved his life, for being the very thing he had dismissed and despised in the past – a traitor, a coward, a runaway.
Above it all though, Hoseok feels relief. Relief that he’s never felt before in his life. Release, happiness, and he wonders if he even deserves to feel that way after everything he’s done. If he even deserves to be happy.
He turns into his street, it’s early dusk and the sky is slowly dissolving into milky daylight. He wonders vaguely if you’re still at his place, he tries his hardest not to hope too much because if there’s one thing he’s carrying with him for life after being in the Kingsnake - it’s his conditioning that hoping for things gets you nowhere. Hope is useless when it comes to the real world.
Still, for just a moment, with the rain saturating his clothes and making him shiver, he allows himself to hope for a few minutes, that you will be there, curled in his bed when he returns.
He finally reaches his house and as he walks slowly up the stairs, the door swings open. His eyes land on you. He can see it, darting over your face – your worry and confusion, but he watches as you swallow it down and open the door wider.
He realizes you’re wearing just one of his tees and a pair of his socks and he thinks to himself, so this is hope.
“Hoseok,” You breathe out his name, “You’re back.”
Something warm blooms inside of his chest at the sound of your voice speaking his name. Something sparked by your words, so carefully uttered, calm as ever even when he knows he probably looks crazy – drenched head to toe with a black eye.
He stumbles up the last step, roughly pushing through the open doorframe as he gathers you up in his arms. You let out a small gasp, the water dripping off of his hair onto your cheeks, as your arms encircle around his waist, soaked with rain.
You don’t speak, your mouth just falls open into a small ‘o’ as Hoseok holds you close to him, crooking his whole body around you, holding you tight, telling himself that you’re real, you’re here, in his arms.
He’s holding you tight, everything is pounding – the exhilaration from the evening, adrenaline, he doesn’t know what, but he pulls away enough to lean his forehead against yours. Doubt, guilt, relief – it all is so fresh and threading through all of his thoughts that he squeezes his eyes closed, grabs your hand. He’s shaking, but he can’t stop it, can’t control it.
Do I deserve this? Do I even deserve her?
“Hoseok,” You murmur, your voice slightly muffled. “Just breathe.”
Hoseoks breathing slows, and he pulls away a fraction, enough to look at you.
“I’m okay,” He murmurs, “I’m okay.”
You nod, the concern doesn’t leave your features as you carefully disentangle yourself, getting up and closing the front door. “
You’re drenched,” You murmur as you walk back towards him. “Are you cold-“
“I’m okay. Sorry you had to wait so long.”
“It’s no big deal I… I…” Your voice trails off as you notice the bruise forming under Hoseok’s eye, he winces as you reach up, brushing your fingers over the mottled skin. “You’re hurt,” You whisper and Hoseok feels his stomach drop when he sees your mouth close and open, eyes swelling with tears.
“It’s fine,” Hoseok murmurs, he reaches up and laces his fingers through yours.
“What you think one punch from Z can take me down? I thought you had more faith in me, princess.”
He keeps his voice intentionally drawling and light, breathing a silent sigh of relief when you let out a small laugh.
“Yeah, yeah. It doesn’t hurt, does it? Do you have ice-”
“I’m fine. Really.”
He watches as you sigh, lean back to look at him properly. “What happened?”
“Z happened,” Hoseok says by means of explanation, clicks his tongue and sighs. “His last favour involved a drug deal that was also a set up, but got out, thank fuck. Told Z I’m done, that’s it, I don’t owe him or them anything anymore… and I got out.”
A pause.
“Out as in…”
“As in, I’m out of the Kingsnakes. For good. Z let me go, and well… that’s that.” He watches carefully, closely as you struggle to control your emotions – but as always he can read you like a damn book and he sees the relief that you carry in your shoulders, in the lines of the tiny breath you let out.
“Oh, that’s…” Your voice trals off and you swallow. “You’re okay with it?”
Hoseok hadn’t been okay before – relieved, guilty, shocked, uncertain, sure - but definitely not okay, but now, standing opposite you, he swallows, softens.
“It’s a decision I should have made a long time ago, to be honest.”
Your eyes widen, and Hoseok makes a silent mental note of your face right now, all open and surprised and hopeful. He doesn’t want to forget it.
“Oh.”
“Uh huh.”
“So what next?”
Hoseok hesitates. “Honestly,” He mumbles, voice going low and scratchy, “I don’t know.”
The thought terrifies him – the thought of what exactly is in store for him, what’s next. If he can change, if he has changed, or if the Kingsnake blood will run through his veins forever. He has never tried to be anything but what he has been, he has never hoped, and his future had always been set in marble in that manner – but now, he has now idea.
He feels your hand curl over his. He swallows.
“Whatever’s next, I’ll be here with you, okay?” Hoseok blinks, and you stumble over your words- “Only if you want me to, I’m not saying that I expect that I’m just saying that I-”
“Hey.” Hoseok pokes you in the ribs, ”’Course I want you to. I mean, I did tell you last night that you were the one of the reasons I wanted to leave the Kingsnakes and all.”
“You did?”
Hoseok’s face contorts in a small frown, “Yeah, I told you that I uh, that I…”
“Mm?”
His face flushes. “Thatiwantetobewithyou. What, you forgot already?”
You poke him back playfully, a triumphant smile playing on your lips, “Yeah I remember you saying you wanted to be with me, I just wanted to hear you say it again.”
Hoseok smirks and grabs your waist, “Smart ass.”
It’s then that he realizes just how close he is to you – body in close proximity to yours, fingers clutched at the small of your waist. The playful mood shifts into something lacquered with lust, with adrenaline, something unfused there that has finally been released with his words.
He stares right at you, thinks distractedly to himself that you are the only one who has the capacity to slow down his world like this, to narrow down his thoughts into one thing and one thing only, a something that begins and ends with you.
“I want to be with you too.” Your murmur quietly. He swallows thickly, drawing you in closer, closer, until you are only millimetres apart, so close that leaning forward and brushing his lips over yours takes nearly no effort at all.
He seals his mouth over yours in a kiss. He sighs into it, it’s a kiss that starts slow and sweet, but that quickly picks up into something hungrier, fuelled and blurred by desire and lust, and his hands are in your hair and roaming all over your skin, resting on your hips, waist, the small pockets of your body that he finds irresistible.
The two of you fall against the hallway, your hands raking through Hoseok’s wet hair.
“You’re going to catch a cold,” You manage to breathe out as you reach forward, hands fumbling at the hemline of his jumper. Hoseok obliges, allowing you to peel the jumper off of him, toss it to the ground.
Your hands are all over his chest, skimming over his shoulders an his back, as he pushes you against the wall. He relishes the tiny gasp that melts into a moan as he slowly grinds into you, his erection growing as he captures your lips in another hungry kiss.
He feels your fingers lightly skim over the back of his neck, the tip of his spine- and he shudders, hands gliding up to rest just under your breasts, feeling his cock twitch in his pants.
His palm finds your left breast, his fingers grazing over your nipple, as you swell your hips against Hoseok’s cock, desperate for any kind of friction, any semblance of release. His hands tug impatiently underneath your dress, as he bends down and picks you up.
You wrap your legs around his waist, his hands cupping your ass as he tilts his head up to you, a roguish, intense look in his eyes as he steps away from the wall, enough to allow a slip of space – and murmurs, “Take that shirt off, princess.”
He watches, mesmerized as you grab the hem of his shirt and pull it off your head. He swallows, hard, drinking you in – no bra, wearing his black jocks. He pauses, everything going still as you wrap your hands around the nape of his neck, an appreciative groan slipping out of his lips before he slams you back against the wall.
He kisses into your collarbones and down your chest appreciatively, lips brushing over the swell of your breasts. Hoseok is hyperaware of your fingers – pressed his neck, in his hair, as he grinds desperately, unthinkingly against you.
He kisses down your breast until he reaches your nipple, using the very tip of his tongue to teasingly flicker against you. He feels your grip on him tighten, he teases you again – another controlled, teasing dart of his tongue against your nipple – and then he hears you, your voice, a throaty “god Hoseok I’m so soaking wet right now.”
Your words topple him over the edge and he latches his lips around your nipple, using his tongue to swirl over you and suck. He can feel your pronounced, hard nipple against his lips and tongue, feel your fingernails start to dig crescent moons into his shoulder blade, a familiar flush of heat and desire crawling over his neck and face.
He hears you moaning- holding his neck into your breasts as he shifts to your left breast, sucking, licking, and then gently catching your nipple between his teeth.
“Hoseok,” You whine out, he kisses back up your neck and your lips slam into his, you are kissing him so desperately he can practically taste it all over you – you, clinging onto him like you are being wound up to your absolute breaking point.
With one hand hooked around his neck, the other trails down Hoseok’s abs, fingers gliding over his muscles until they hook under the waistband of his jeans. Hoseok lets out a soft growl, presses you even harder against him, the wall by your back.
“I want you now.” You whisper, right into his ear- your tongue teasing his earlobe before you gently suck at the flesh right under his ear by his neck. Hoseok’s breathing stutters as your hand slips even further down his pants.
“Please, I want you.”
Hoseok flushes hard and hot, inhales sharply and pushes off of the wall. You don’t react, kissing back up until your mouth is by his ear.
“I want you to fuck me however you like, wherever you like, I’m all yours…” You accompany the words with kisses against his ear, Hoseok is so god damn hard he can’t bear it.
He carries the two of you to his bedroom, his room – messy as ever and lit only by the moonlight outside – and places you down onto his bed. He unzips his jeans, tugs them off, eyes locked on you – you’re watching him, biting your lip in that naughty, coquettish way that makes Hoseok want to absolutely fuck your brains out.
He glances down, at you wearing nothing but his black jocks and his throat tightens, “Are those my underwear?”
You smile, Hoseok tugs off his own underwear and he watches as you gaze directly at his cock. It gives him a thrill of confidence seeing your eyes dilate and the way you subconsciously lick your lips at the sight of him – and he reaches forward, grasping your chin.
“Answer my question, princess.”
“Y-yes, they’re yours. I borrowed them.”
Hoseok quirks an eyebrow up, expression darkening a touch. “Oh? Well I want them back.”
His fingers catch onto the waistband of his underwear, eyes searching yours. His other hand is still by your face, fingers grasping your chin and he watches as you reach up and take his wrist, bringing his hand to your mouth.
Eyes locked on his, you take his index finger in his mouth slowly, tantalizingly running your tongue down his finger before you suck on it. Hoseok immediately thinks about you, on your knees, that tongue and those lips wrapped around the base of his cock, eyes watery and hair swept up.
His cock throbs, you stare at him, smile, “I’ll give you anything you want tonight, Hoseok.”
Fuck. Hoseok tugs off your underwear – his underwear – until you are naked, he grabs at your hips and pulls you in closer to him.
“God Hoseok, yes-” The plea falls out of your lips and Hoseok leans in, closing the space between your bodies. “Shh,” A smirk laces his lips as he reaches forward and runs a hand through your hair, fingers trailing over your cheekbones down to your chin. His voice softens, his lips slip of the smirk he always wears.
“I’ll give it to you, baby girl. I’ll give you anything, y’know that?”
The words spill out before Hoseok can stop them, and you blink up at him with eyes that glow, lips that are full and parted with neediness and surprise, a flash of vulnerability crosses over you.
“Hoseok, I…” Your voice trembles and for a moment Hoseok can’t breathe. The two of you just stare at one another before you lean up, pressing your lips against his.
Hoseok responds to your kiss immediately, whatever thoughts in his mind flood out as he feels your lips soft on his, your tongue gently seeking entrance over his bottom lip, your small palm pressed to the back of his neck.
He presses in closer to you, caging you in with your body as he kisses you deeper, longer, revels in the tiny moan that you let out as he pulls away to kiss over the tender slope of your neck.
He feels you shiver, it’s one of the things he loves most about this, it’s what hooked him in the first place – how he can read you like a fucking book. How he knows when he presses his lips like a stamp to the nape of your neck, you will shiver, your body curling and your arms tightening around him. He knows that if he runs his fingertips down your spine, crooking around to grab at your hip, you’ll let out one of those breathy, desperate moans of his name that his his vision blurring with lust. He knows that when he places a hand around your neck, or a fist in your hair, hands grabbing your hips, authoritative and punishing and yours- that you will be there right with him, body writhing, breath shaky and hot and desperate, while he teases kisses out of you.
Hoseok moans into your ear and clenches his jaw, trying to stop himself from shuddering outwardly, trying to maintain composure when around you it’s so difficult to.
“I want you…” Hoseok murmurs, his voice rasps around the words as his hand travels down your body, over the lines of your waist, your thighs. He feels you let in a sharp breath, tilt your hips instinctively into his.
His fingers tease in closer up your inner thigh, his knuckle brushing over your wet slit. He feels you dip your head back, he nips along your neck, at your pulse point, you let out a weak “Hoseok, fuck, please-” and he’s so completely full of want that it’s burning over his skin.
He slides one finger inside of you, slowly enough to properly feel your slickness against him, to enjoy the way you tremble, your hands clasping around him harder. He crooks his finger, brings his thumb to massage over your clit, kisses against your collarbone.
He pulls away to look at you properly, he sweeps over you and feels something crest inside of him – hrat and urgency. You barely notice, your eyes closed, you are biting your lip, back arched off of the mattress with each thrust of his finger, stroke of his thumb against your sensitive clit.
Hoseok drinks it in, savours the way you let out a tiny whine when he teases his thumb over your clit, making sure to touch you hard, to have you desperate and moaning out his name, and then to tease you by pushing another finger deep inside of you, dipping into your core.
He can see you, quivering and messy under his touch, your eyes flutter open as if sensing his gaze and for a moment he can’t breathe – your eyes darkened with lust, sighs melting out of your mouth, hips pushing back against your touch. You let out a soft murmur of his name, a “Hoseok, please,” and it’s both an invitation and a challenge and Hoseok thinks he might be going crazy because he’s never felt like this before.
“You’re the fucking prettiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” He mutters, pulls his finger out of you as he shifts downward, expression unchanging. His cock is hard- so hard that he can feel it stiff and uncomfortable, he’s leaking precum already, and he stutters in a jerky breath as you wrap your hand around his length.
“Your fingers felt amazing,” You breathe out, your voice coyish and alluring, “But I want… this… inside of me.” You accompany your words by gliding up and down his shaft, Hoseok lets out a small, territorial growl as he pushes you back against the bed.
Hoseok swallows, hard, your slit is wet and welcoming against the hard, pink head of his cock. He reaches up, brushes the pad of his thumb over your clit again in a slow, slick swipe.
His voice lowers into a growl, he wants to be inside of you so fucking badly but he resists, teases you until he can see you grit your teeth desperately, clench your fists, your eyes fevered and glassy with desperation.
“You want me to fuck you?”
You nod, and he smirks.
“So fucking needy already… Are you sure you want it?”
“God yes, please give it to me, please-”
He interrupts you mid sentence by pushing himself deep inside of your walls.
You are wet- practically dripping with it- and he slides in easily. He thrusts into you hard, assertively, dipping down to lap and suck against your neck, your pulse point – until you are a groaning, desperate, writhing mess beneath him.
He captures your lips in a messy kiss before he pulls away, snapping his hips harder and faster into you. He wants you unhinged, he wants you falling apart at the seams with pleasure, he wants you screaming out his name, and relentlessly he continues to fuck into you.
Hoseok arches his hips up, lets out a moan of his own because your cunt feels so good and tight and wet around him, his eyes focus in on you pinned beneath his body – the dirty mewls of his name, fingernails clawing down his back and squeezing his thighs, his ass, his arms, bodies sliding against each other, sweaty and hot and desperate.
Hoseok doesn’t know how you do it, but he can already feel himself falling apart, disassembling at the edges with how satisfying it feels, how fucking hot you look and sound. His hand works up to entangle through your hair, tugging hard as he pulls your face closer to his, breathes into a kiss that you’re his, that he loves how much of a gorgeous, fucking slut you are in bed just for him. You groan into his words, his kisses, and his cock surges harder, your gasp breaks apart into a moan, as Hoseok grinds deeper inside of you, making sure you feel all of him buried inside of your cunt.
He grabs your thigh, pushes it up around until it hooks around his back so that he can fuck into you even deeper.
He massages into your thigh, then around to cup your ass, his fingers tease over your tight, sweet spot as he feels you rock back against him, your breathing hard and desperate, your walls getting even wetter and easier to fuck into.
He loves this, dragging all the wracked, filthy noises from your throat, making him pant our his name, feeling his cock grow hard and sticky with desperation.
“I’m gonna-” You pant out, “I’m close¬-” and Hosoek feels a thrill in his chest at your words as his fingers reach down between your bodies, finding your clit.
He continues to thrust into you, making sure he tilts his hips up so that you can feel every single edge and ridge of his cock deep inside of you. He lifts himself up so that he can look at you properly, you, with your hair fanned out against the pillow, face flushed with heat, lips parted, eyes glassy and unfocused as you whine out in feverish anticipation.
“You… it feels so good,” You stammer out, Hoseok circles his thumb around your clit just the way he knows that you like it, winding you up as he continues to angle his hips while he thrusts inside of you.
“Look at me,” He commands, your eyes open and meet his. Something inside of him splinters, his cock twitches and he realizes he’s close too. He slows the pace, just a touch – enough so that he can circle over your clit with a fraction more pressure, enough so that he can focus on you.
You stare up at him obediently, he can see every flicker of pleasure and urgency and impatience and neediness over your face like it’s being reflected in glass, he can feel your clit and it’s quickened pulse, knows you’re close.
He feels so connected to you, that it crackles over his skin, making him even more sensitive, even more turned on. His cock is practically aching with it, he knows he’s going to cum soon, and he knows that it’s all over his face – the growls and mutters of your name that fall out of his lips, his eyes locked on you.
“Hoseok-“ You almost choke out, the sound of your voice rouses something within Hoseok and he grinds even deeper inside of you. He feels like his heart is expanding in his chest, when you look at him like that – wide desperate eyes that roll upwards a little bit, pleasured husky moans of “fuckfuckfuck”, your body twitching and trembling as you orgasm around him.
His heartbeat is throttling in his chest, and for the first time instead of pushing it away he grasps onto it firmly, allows it to ride over him as he jerks forward, pressing his forehead against yours.
“I like you so fucking much,” He chokes out, completely uninhibited, he can hear you letting out a soft “I like you too”, as your palms flutter up to touch his cheeks, run through his hair, as he cums inside of you.
You inhale part of his moan, his shaky groans of climax, the two of you breathing in long and deep as his forearms tremble.
His eyes open, Hoseok captures you in a kiss, long and deep as you both shake and tremble against one another.
It takes Hoseok a moment to get his bearings, pull out of your walls – his cock is still pulsing a little, and his body lurches forward as he rolls over onto his back beside you.
“Wow,” he hears you breathe out softly, he turns his head to see you gazing up at the ceiling, a dazed smile on your face.
That same feeling is back in his chest again, it feels less like it’s about to devour him and more like it’s sinking through him slowly and softly, and he smiles. He reaches forward, fingertips brushing against your collarbones, your skin dewy with sweat, pulling you into his arms.
He wraps himself around you and hugs you close, his breathing still erratic, vision a little weak and blurry, words and syllables tumbling around in his head.
All he can really focus on is this damn feeling – like the sun itself is trapped in his chest. He hugs you closer, buries his face in your neck, seals your skin with a kiss.
There, in the privacy of just you and him, his face pressed to your bare skin, he smiles, and suddenly has the odd feeling like he might cry. He tries to coax a couple words out, but he’s too scared to say what he’s really thinking. Instead he holds you close and feels you melt into his arms, relax completely as your breathing, airy and needy, slows.
After a breath, he disentangles himself enough to scan over you. He’s heavy lidded, glowing still from how hard he had cum, and he leans in to lick inside your mouth, wanting to taste you, feel you.
He feels your palms slip up to rest against his chest, your right hand directly over his heart. That feeling returns, his breath catches, his arms link around your lower waist as he kisses you slow and long and deep. The two of you just breathe, and Hoseok finally speaks, voice low and throaty and a little uncertain.
“I’m all yours, y’know that… you’ve got me.”
He’s a little scared to say the words, of feeling whatever it is that’s wrecking through his chest and head and heart right now. A smile unfurls over your face, you nod.
“You’ve got me too.”
Hoseok just smiles, settles back and closes his eyes. He’s drowsy, and the two of you lapse into companionable quiet.
“I really don’t know how.” Hoseok confesses after a beat of silence, accompanying his painfully honest words with a small, vulnerable laugh.
“How what?”
Hoseok doesn’t know how to answer, what to say. How is he supposed to explain that he doesn’t know how he, an idiot guy from the wrong side of the tracks, ended up here? Here, wrapped up in you, so damn full of contentedness and happiness that feels strange and undeserved yet right, all at once. How is he supposed to explain that he doesn’t know how he got here when he had given up on so much of himself, locked segments of him away like they were rotted and dead? How is he supposed to explain that he doesn’t know how he met you - you, heart of gold and glass- found you, that you are here, with him, when you could be with anybody?
Hoseok doesn’t reply, he just shakes his head. “Just thinking aloud.”
You don’t reply, but he feels you curl into him closer.
And Hoseok lets himself fall asleep like that, tangled up in you.
Hoseok is asleep. You watch him, a faint smile ghosting over your lips.
He is so different from anyone else that you have ever met, ever known– he is both hard and soft, dark and light, strong and vulnerable. You think back briefly to the first time you saw him – standing on the street with a steely set to his jaw, cigarette dangling between his lips, all tough exterior and brusque, unfeeling words. You smile ruefully, thinking that he’s changed – especially when he’s like this, all wrapped up in his sheets, bare shoulderblades and messy hair and long lashes that flutter as he breathes – he’s changed. At least your perception of him has changed. Hoseok is no longer the dangerous thrill that runs up your spine, fear mixed with unsettled lust. Now, he feels safe, he feels right.
Your eyes fall on the Kingsnake tattoo on Hoseok’s hand. It is bold against his pale skin and you hesitate, thinking about Hoseok’s words, that he had gotten out, that he had been allowed departure from the Kingsnake’s nest.
The Kingsnakes - name after the kingsnake, aptly given the name of ‘king’ ue to their coldblooded ability to kill other snakes. To constrict them, to wrap their bodies around their prey so tight until they can no longer breathe, until every last breath of air, everything that grants them life – is suffocated clean from their corpses. Kingsnakes do not simply let their prey go, they do not give their prey an easy way out - even when their prey is another snake.
Unease stirs deep inside of you, you cover the kingsnake tattoo with your palm until you no longer can see its coiled body. You look at Hoseok again, at the black and blue bruise that is beginning to blossom under his eye. You wonder what exactly happened tonight between him and Z, and your mind betrays you as you picture Z driving his fist into Hoseok’s face. Z, his flat and unyielding eyes, the head and soul of the Kingsnakes. Kingsnakes who constrict, kill, hunt.
And as you glance at Hoseok – soft, sleeping, vulnerable – you feel uneasiness tug in the pit of your stomach.
You keep your palm over Hoseok’s kingsnake tattoo until finally you too, drift asleep.
amynote: This chapter was SO DARK but y’know what WE ARE SO CLOSE TO THE END AHHH! the next chapter is the penultimate one and yes it will be an intense one, because c’mon. if you thought the kingsnakes were just going to let hoseok go, well… think again. hehe i hope you enjoyed this chapter, thank you so much for reading!! ♡
➭ “You’ve always stayed far away from the Kingsnakes, the coldblooded gang that runs the dark heart of your city. That is until your life collides with the intriguing and dangerous Jung Hoseok.”
** warnings: Graphic descriptions of injuries and violence, dark themes, gang activity, explicit drug references, mentions of physical abuse, mentions of death. and bathtub sex **
Sleep feels impossible tonight.
Every muscle in Hoseok’s body is locked in place, his eyes stare listlessly into the darkness of his room. No matter what he does, no matter how many times he swears under his breath and rolls over onto one side, he can’t fall asleep.
His mind is swirling with thoughts, thoughts that are unwanted and painful, thoughts infused with the question mark of what could’ve been, thoughts that start and end with your name on the tip of his tongue.
Hoseok has never been the type of person to reminisce on the past, largely due to his belief that reflection is unnecessary. You can’t turn back time and change the past, so why bother dwelling on it? But now, when the evening is fading into dawn, and the sky is awash with the milky blue of breaking daylight, Hoseok silently confesses that he chooses to ignore the past because it’s easier than confronting it.
The past is painful. Hoseok knows this better than anybody. He’s trained his mind to not think back on particular turning points of his life, he’s sharpened the skill of actively not remembering darker times. But ever since you came into his world, he can’t ignore his past anymore. Everything that he tried so hard to bury deep is rising to the surface.
Hoseok clutches the sheets in his hands and lets out another soft, “Fuck”. It does little to ease his racing thoughts. He thinks about you, how your eyes flash with hurt when he says things to you that are particularly cold and cruel. He thinks about how your voice sound when it whispers his name, the nape of your neck and the curve of your waist, the look of shock that painted over your features when he pressed his lips to yours for the first time.
“Stop it,” Hoseok mutters into the darkness, his voice harsh. Stop thinking about her.
Hoseok curses himself for his total lack of foresight, for his inability to see when something is good before it’s too late. He thinks he’s so cunning, so clever, when in reality he can’t see anything at all. He didn’t see you coming into his life, he didn’t see you changing his life, and he didn’t see you walking out of his life- until of course, it was too late.
Am I a bad person? The thought creeps in, and Hoseok sighs. He doesn’t know anymore. For a long time, he had just accepted that he was a bad person. Hoseok can’t recall all the times he’s done fucked up things, hurt people, received a sick sense of numbing satisfaction from affirming that yes, He had never considered the possibility that he was redeemable, that he may not be an intrinsically bad person. Until you.
Hoseok leans back on his bedframe, slumping forward until his head is in his hands. This hurts. This really, really hurts. It hurts, the way you eased into his heart with killer precision. He doesn’t know how to get you out. He doesn’t want to get you out.
Hoseok lifts his head and absently fumbles on his nightstand table for the pack of cigarettes he keeps there, his fingers catching on the box. He hesitates, before he finally throws the box, hard, across the room. A dramatic gesture perhaps, but Hoseok couldn’t give less of a fuck right now. Cigarettes spill out onto his bedroom floor and he swears again.
He looks at the clock, it reads 5:03AM. It’s 5AM, and he’s here, head in his hands, thinking about a woman who makes him feel a heady kind of hopefulness, a woman who taught him that there may be more to life than living fast and dying young.
Hoseok squeezes his eyes shut and weakly tells himself to stop being such a weak motherfucking bitch, that you have left his life and it’s for the better, that you’re just another memory to lock away and forget about.
He lies awake in bed until daylight breaks over the horizon.
Twenty years ago, on a Friday evening in the middle of December, Jung Hoseok fell in love with dancing.
It was a Friday, because Friday was always the day that his Mum liked to go grocery shopping. Every Friday was like clockwork – Hoseok trailing his mother around the store while she slowly, carefully picked out boxes and cans. It was always Friday, because Hoseok’s father stayed out on Friday nights, stumbling in the house late into the evening with the sharp smell of alcohol plumed around him like smoke.
It was during October, because the air was brisk when Hoseok slipped away from his mother and walked out of the store. It had felt like a thin film of ice was going to settle over his skin if he stayed outside for too long.
Hoseok was certain he’d always be able to remember it. The cold that brushed over his skin, the quiet hum of the store doors closing behind him, and there – on the concrete in front of the store, a group of guys.
They had a battered portable radio that was perched on the hood of an equally battered car, the crackly weak bass of a hip hop song filtered into the air. The group of guys were joking around, pushing each other and filling the beats of the song with their light, cloying jabs and insults – and they were dancing.
Hoseok had stared at them with wide eyes. Each movement they made was strong and bold, and they were entirely in control of their bodies. One guy, the one in the middle with a cap jammed over his hair and trackpants about two sizes too big for him, had a smile that he was struggling to contain. He was a man who was in control of each of his movements, a firm grip on the rhythm that coursed through body, controlled over everything except the smile that teased at his features.
Hoseok’s breath was coming out in puffs of cold into the night air and he wondered, right then and there, if he could be like that one day.
It was one of those, right time, right place sort of situations. The kind of scenario where everything pieces together so exactly, that it can only be due to a stroke of luck, a twist of destiny. A red thread of fate.
Hoseok was a few days from turning sixteen when he met Z.
His father had passed away the month prior. Hoseok had stood at his father’s funeral just last weekend, dressed in a rented suit that smelled like sweat and felt starchy on his skin, watching as people he had never met before shuffled through with tears dotted on their cheeks. Hoseok had looked up at the framed photo of his father that people were crying over, and he wondered what exactly they were crying for.
You’re nothing. His father’s voice floated into his thoughts. Hoseok squeezed his eyes shut, thinking about all the times his father had called him a loser, a coward, a ‘fucking pussy’, until finally just landing on the words that Hoseok had grown accustomed to hearing – ‘You’re nothing, Hoseok.’
Hoseok thought back to all the times he had seen his mother crying in the kitchen early in the morning when she thought the house was asleep, her hands bent in front of her, praying. Hoseok had always felt so tiny and powerless every time he heard his mother cry, every time his father’s fist went crunching into his cheek, every time the words You’re nothing echoed through his thoughts.
Hoseok’s eyes had fluttered open and a few funeral-goers stared at him, eyes sympathetic and pitying. His mother, standing beside him, was crying – his baby sister in her arms. Hoseok’s father was gone, but the pressure he put on the family remained. He was gone, but all these people were still crying. Hoseok looked at the tears tracking down everyone’s faces, at the photo of his father perched high in the funeral hall.
He didn’t cry.
It was that memory that lingered in Hoseok’s mind when Sungmin approached him after school and asked him if he was free to talk. He was the same age as Hoseok, they were in the same Geometry class, yet Hoseok had never exchanged more than two words with him.
Sungmin was something of a mystery, no one knew much about him. What Hoseok did know, however, was that Sungmin was always wearing a leather jacket that was two sizes too big for him, Sungmin was part of some newly established gang, and that Sungmin, for some reason, was standing on front of him now wanting to ‘talk’.
Sungmin was the same age as Hoseok but he felt older. He had an air of confidence about him, and he dug into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it. He offered it to Hoseok, and even though Hoseok had never so much as touched a cigarette in his life- he took it.
He held it gingerly in his fingers and took a drag, coughing at the feeling of smoke in his lungs. Sungmin just watched on, an amused smile on his face.
“Will you teach me how to breakdance?”
Hoseok had been momentarily surprised. Of all the questions he had been anticipating, it hadn’t been that one. What surprised him the most though, was how quickly he answered back, his response.
“Okay.”
Sungmin was a slow learner. He was a clumsy dancer. He also, surprisingly enough, evolved from classmate to friend.
Hoseok learned a lot about Sungmin when they met up after school. He learned that Sungmin wanted to learn how to dance because his girlfriend, Lorna, had mentioned she liked breakdancers. He learned that Sungmin had a short fuse and a tendency to spew filthy swear words when he couldn’t get a move right.
He learned that Sungmin’s chest puffed out in pride whenever he talked about his friends, the gang that he was currently being initiated into. ‘The Kingsnakes,’ Sungmin would say, struggling to keep a cool expression on his face, ‘That’s our name, by the way.’
Hoseok had learned that Sungmin, when he found something unbearably funny, slapped his hand over his mouth and laughed silently, shoulders shaking up and down.
He wasn’t sure when it happened, but it did – somewhere along the way he had become friends with the other boy. It was a realization he had when he was leaning against the wall of the warehouse one school night with Sungmin, smoking cigarettes and discussing whether it was worth staying in school, or dropping out.
“You never smoke them properly.” Sungmin had complained, pointing his cigarette butt at Hoseok accusingly. “You’ve gotta inhale. Yoongi taught me that.”
Hoseok wrinkled his nose, watching as the other boy took a deep drag, exhaling a mouthful of smoke with exaggerated confidence.
“Yoongi?”
Sungmin hummed in response. “Yep. He’s the leader of the Kingsnakes.”
Hoseok’s mouth opened into a small ‘o’. He stared at the cigarette in his hands, the glowing embers falling to the ground.
“Sungmin, will you introduce me to him? Yoongi, I mean.”
“Z,” Sungmin corrected. Hoseok looked up questioningly and Sungmin shrugged.
“Call me Z. It’s a new nickname I’m trying.”
“Loser.” Hoseok rolled his eyes and Sungmin grinned, staring at his friend thoughtfully.
Hoseok nodded, feeling a thrill start in his spine. He didn’t know why he was asking to meet Yoongi, he didn’t know why he was here with Sungmin, all he did know was that he felt good. He felt like he belonged, like he wasn’t a kid anymore, like he was taking charge of his life.
He picked up the cigarette and inhaled properly. It burned in his lungs and it made his head spin, he fought the urge to cough as he exhaled all the smoke. It cloaked his vision and somewhere through the haze, he heard the almost silent strains of Sungmin’s laughter.
Min Yoongi was not what Hoseok had expected. He had hair that was dyed an unnatural shade of ice blue, and eyes that gazed him up and down suspiciously upon first glance.
“Who’s this?”
Yoongi didn’t direct the question to him, glancing over instead at Z who was standing by Hoseok’s side.
“My friend. Wanted to meet you.”
And just like that, Yoongi’s eyes were back on him. Hoseok squirmed uncomfortably.
“Why did you want to meet me?”
Hoseok’s voice was pitchy, it gave away his nerves as he spoke.
“I was wondering if I could hang around with you guys.”
Yoongi just raised an eyebrow.
“…You guys?”
Hoseok’s face flushed and he nodded. “The… the Kingsnakes.”
For a long moment, Yoongi just stared at Hoseok, a perplexed expression on his face before he sighed.
“Yeah, whatever. You can hang round with us if you want.” Yoongi’s voice was bored, and Hoseok nodded eagerly.
“But if you’re going to do that, you need to understand that there’s nothing more important to me than loyalty. Whether you’re going to hang round for a little bit or longer, at the end of the day, all I ask for, and all I expect, is loyalty. Whatever you see, whatever goes down – it’s between us and us only. Understood?” He spoke slowly, still with that bored tone- but Hoseok didn’t miss the steeliness in his words.
“Yeah, I… I understand.”
He must have passed whatever test Yoongi was giving because the older boy relaxed, but kept eyeing him curiously.
“So, why do you want in with the Kingsnakes, kid? You want money, drugs, friends? What is it?”
Hoseok sensed Sungmin’s eyes on him too, and he shrugged.
“I just don’t want to feel like I’m nothing.” He said honestly, to which Yoongi just let out a soft hum in response.
After that, Hoseok’s life became something like a whirlwind of firsts.
The first kiss, exchanged at a Kingsnake party with some girl from another school who had crawled into his lap and kissed him.
The first time he had done drugs, a tiny bump of cocaine that he snorted while wedged between Yoongi and a few of the other members at a party.
The first time he skipped class, spending the day hanging around with some of the guys and getting high, enjoying it so much that he eventually stopped going to class altogether.
The first time he fucked a girl, thrusting into her, his body using hers, feeling invincible.
The first time Yoongi asked him to help out, to keep watch for a drug deal. That had also been the first time Yoongi had slapped his shoulder and grinned at him, telling him he was alright.
The first time Hoseok was handed an envelope stuffed with bills, feeling a rush of excitement because that money was his, he had earned it. It was the first time Hoseok felt secure, powerful, like maybe he had someplace where he belonged.
The first time a needle touched his skin, inking a snake onto his wrist. The first time his mother saw the tattoo and teared up, asking Hoseok if he was safe.
The first time he and a few of the guys beat up another guy for ratting on them. The first time he punched someone’s jaw. The first time he saw Z’s eyes flash with simmering lust, punching until Yoongi told him in a sharp tone, Enough.
The first time Hoseok felt uncertainty about his decision to join the Kingsnakes. The first time he questioned whether he had made the right choices, whether his past was doomed to repeat itself.
“Yoongi likes you.” Z muttered to him on the night of his eighteenth birthday. “He’s always picking you to be his backup him in deals and shit.”
The two had slipped outside for a cigarette, standing shoulder by shoulder in the brisk air. Lorna, Z’s girlfriend, had joined them at first before she too slipped back inside, complaining about the cold weather.
“Yoongi?” Hoseok echoed. Z just grunted. Hoseok cocked his head to the side, considered those words.
“You’re probably next in line to run the group, at this point.” Z added.
Hoseok had turned to his friend, whose face was lit only by the red embers. Ash fell to the ground and Hoseok shrugged in response. He felt good, his body was buzzed, he felt like something, like hewas something. He thought back on the tiny, frightened kid he used to be and a wry smile tugged on his lips.
“Nah. That’s all you, Sungmin.”
Z let out a loud scoff, reaching over and giving Hoseok a feeble punch. “You loser.” He laughed. “Come on, let’s go inside. It’s fucking freezing.”
A few weeks later, Hoseok stood outside Yoongi’s house, shivering and muttering complaints under his breath.
“Stupid motherfucking Min Yoongi asks me to drop something off and then doesn’t even answer the door,” Hoseok mumbled, walking down the driveway. “Fuck, it’s cold.” He paused once he got to his bike, sighing in annoyance as he turned around, walking directly past the front door and weaving his way through the gate.
He had been to Yoongi’s house several times, and when he got to the back door, it was, as expected, unlocked. He stepped into the house, holding the package under his arms. The house was quiet, his footsteps heavy on the floor.
“Hoseok?”
Yoongi padded out, dressed just in a pair of black jocks. “What are you- just, get out of here, I’m busy today.”
His voice was harsh and Hoseok cringed, throwing the package down on the kitchen table. “Yeah sorry, it’s all there, the delivery, the guy-”
“Yoongi?” A female voice cut faintly through Hoseok’s words. Hoseok froze.
He recognized that voice.
He glanced over at Yoongi questioningly and the stricken look on the other man’s face said it all.
“Yoongi…. Is that…” Hoseok breathed.
“Fuck,” Yoongi swore.
Hoseok closed and opened his mouth.
“Don’t say anything,” Yoongi asked in a low voice, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “You won’t say anything, Hoseok?” He looked up and for the first time Hoseok saw Yoongi not as the strong, invincible leader of the group but as he was – vulnerable and broken.
“Okay.” Hoseok muttered dumbly. Yoongi nodded and the two men stared at each other tensely before Hoseok turned and walked out of the back door.
He half expected Yoongi to come barreling behind him, but he was met with nothing but silence. He got to his motorcycle, still perched by the driveway.
Hoseok recognized that voice, husky and distinctive. Hoseok saw it in the panic that crossed over Yoongi’s face, the pleading tone of his voice.
It was Lorna. Z’s girlfriend.
“Fuck,” Hoseok muttered. “Fuck!”
Anger, fear, hot and uncomfortable emotion swelled in his chest as Hoseok kicked his bike.
The resounding pain that went through his leg just intensified the frustration, but there was nothing he could do about the pain. It was too late, and what had been done, was done.
Months later, it was summer. The days were long and hot, and the air felt still. It was the calm before the storm.
Hoseok spent the majority of his days in a sticky, clouded haze. He was stretched out on the couch, his mind comfortably blurry when he heard his front door slam open.
He didn’t bother locking it half the time, today was one of those days, and he glanced up blearily. It was Z, and Hoseok sat up, yawning.
“What’s up dude? Haven’t seen you round last few days.”
Z was agitated, Hoseok could sense it from the moment that he walked in the room. Z didn’t respond immediately, pacing back and forth before he finally flopped down on the chair opposite Hoseok.
“Found out that Min fucking Yoongi was screwing my girlfriend behind my back.”
Hoseok’s blood turned to ice.
Z let out an emphatic, “Fuck” before he sighed, leaning back on the chair.
“I… how?” Hoseok asked, his voice sounding faint to his own ears.
Z didn’t answer, his eyes closed. “Does it matter?”
“Where…. Where is Yoongi now? Have you talked to him?”
Z opened one eye. A smile spread across his face, and he shrugged.
“That’s just the thing. I was going to talk to him about it, but you’ll never believe it. Turns out there was an oxygen bubble in his bloodstream. He’s dead.”
Dead?
Hoseok could hear the blood in his ears. Z closed his eyes again and shrugged.
“Freak accident. Crazy, right?”
Hoseok’s throat was dry. He sunk back down onto the couch, his head spinning.
And there it was. The sound of Z’s silent, dry laughter. Hoseok could recognize it anywhere. Hoseok felt dread start to pool in the pit of his stomach as Z spoke, his words low and dangerous like the rattle of a snake.
“There’s nothing more important than loyalty, right?”
Hoseok didn’t answer, pushing off of the couch.
“Need a cigarette.” He mumbled. He knew it was a stupid excuse, for God’s sake he smoked in his house, but he needed fresh air. He needed to clear his stupid, clouded, jumbled thoughts, because Yoongi was dead. Yoongi was dead. Hoseok’s mind was racing with thoughts as he pushed open his front door and walked down the driveway.
An oxygen bubble? In his bloodstream?
Hoseok’s hands were trembling as he walked down his street, he furtively glanced behind his shoulder to ensure no one was tailing him. He pulled out his phone, holding it to his ear. The moment it clicked, he spoke.
“Lorna, Yoongi’s dead.”
There was a shocked silence on the end of the line. Hoseok didn’t let it linger, speaking rapidly.
“Get out of here, okay?”
He heard a choked sound on the other line, an almost animal like cry. He didn’t dwell on it, he squeezed the phone tighter, feeling his heart thump in his chest.
“Lorna, do you understand me? Get the fuck out of here, alright?”
She was crying, and Hoseok hung up, his hands trembling.
He had no idea why he had done that, he didn’t owe Lorna anything. He didn’t owe anyone anything. Except Z.
Z. Hoseok stood, frozen, as he looked behind his shoulder again. The street was empty, but he felt a hum of paranoia and fear race through his veins as he turned off his phone, trying to settle his shaking hands as he turned and walked back into the house.
He walked back inside his living room, feeling his muscles tense up. Z was still sitting in that same chair, he didn’t look up as Hoseok returned to the couch.
“So, we’ve got the Deckard deal next week. You’ll help?” Z began, and Hoseok glanced up. Their eyes met and Hoseok swallowed.
You can still run, Hoseok.
He nodded.
I can’t run.
“Good.” Z glanced back at the TV and Hoseok stared at him. He and Z were friends. He owed Z, it was Z who had pulled him into the web of the Kingsnakes, it was that web that had given him power, money, helped him pull himself and his family out of debt.
Hoseok negotiated in his head that really, nothing had changed. The Kingsnakes would remain the same, even with Z at the helm. That Yoongi’s death really was a freak accident. Things wouldn’t worsen, they couldn’t.
I won’t run.
“Hoseok, you didn’t know about Yoongi and Lorna, did you?”
Hoseok felt his heart stutter. His stomach twisted, as he looked up, meeting Z’s gaze.
“No, I didn’t.”
I can’t run.
Z smiled, satisfied, and nodded. “Good.”
I can’t fucking run.
Hoseok sat still, feeling utterly paralyzed. For the first time in years, he felt that insidious, horrible feeling inside of his chest, that voice, telling him that he was nothing. And the red thread of fate that tied him as a ten year old kid to dancing had been cut.
It was replaced by the black threads of the Kingsnakes, woven tightly around him until he could no longer breathe.
The moment you enter Taehyung’s hospital room, you gasp.
A sharp, involuntary intake of breath that draws everyone’s attention on you. Your eyes scan over the room – at Ara, who gazes at you with an expression that is saturated with disappointment and hurt, at the police officers who eye you with suspicion, at a nurse who hones in on you as soon as you enter.
“I’m sorry, but you’re outside of visiting hours.” Her clipboard is tucked under her arm, her hair slicked back into a low bun. “Only direct family are permitted here, you’ll have to come back tomorrow.”
“She is family.”
The voice interrupts before you can respond. It’s Taehyung. Your eyes meet his and he smiles tiredly at you.
Your heart gives out in your chest when you see him, at the faded bruised rings that mar his face, at the way his chest heaves delicately with each breath.
“She’s not-” Ara begins, but Taehyung just continues to speak.
“She’s family. Nurse,” Taehyung glances away to smile politely at the nurse. “Could I have five minutes with her?”
The nurse grumbles, you hear the soft strains of her voice and Ara’s but eventually, she nods. The police officers stand up and leave first, their eyes beady and intent on you as they shuffle out of the room, before the others follow. You try to meet Ara’s gaze but she stares away from you pointedly, and you feel a twist in your chest.
Finally, the room is empty. You glance at Taehyung, he smiles at you and nods to the chair that is perched beside his bed. “Sit down.”
Your legs feel wooden as you walk over, lowering yourself into the plastic chair.
The room elapses into silence, a silence that is broken only by the quiet electronic beat of Taehyung’s heart monitor.
“Tae-”
“Are you-”
You both start speaking at once, faltering when your voices overlap. Taehyung chuckles, shifts in bed. “You go first.”
You glance up, meeting Taehyung’s eyes. He looks so frail like this, mottled splashes of purple fading beneath his skin, pale lips, a smile on his face. Your eyes linger on the IV drip that threads into his skin and you swallow.
“I’m sorry.”
You whisper the words like they’re a secret.
Taehyung clicks his tongue softly. “What are you apologizing for?”
“I… what happened to you, I-”
“What happened is just a case of wrong time, wrong place. Nothing more than that. Just some thugs who were high on drugs and wanted some quick cash.”
Taehyung speaks quickly, his voice low and calm and you shake your head, tears beginning to strain at the back of your throat. Taehyung’s voice rises a little, speeds up a touch, “Really, it was just bad luck. Thank God for insurance, right? The doctors said I’ll heal up in no time too so-“
”Tae.” You say his name and Taehyung falls silent. “It was the Kingsnakes. They-”
“I know it was them.”
A silence settles between the two of you and Taehyung’s fingers, trembling, run over the IV drip in the centre of his hand. For the first time since it was just the two of you in this room, Taehyung looks away. You keep your eyes on him, seeing the rapid blink of his eyes, the way his lips move as if he’s talking silently. He’s trying not to cry, trying to hold himself together even now when his body is on the brink of falling apart. Your chest aches and the raw ache at the back of your throat intensifies.
“I’m not going to tell the police anything about them. I haven’t. And I won’t.”
“Taehyung, you didn’t have to do that.”
“Yeah,” Taehyung’s voice is hoarse. “I did. I’m not saying a word. I’m not putting you in danger. There’s no evidence. It’s better to not say anything.”
“Taehyung this is serious.” The words come out harsher than intended and Taehyung finally looks up again, his eyes uncharacteristically steely.
“I know it’s not a game. It’s your life, and…” His eyes are wet with tears and he looks so young that your heart twists and tears finally start threatening to spill in your eyes, because this is Taehyung, the Taehyung you have known since you were a kid, the Taehyung who was always older and cooler and never afraid of anything, “…the thought of your life being at risk… I can’t, I just can’t.”
He swallows hard and stares determinedly at the grey hospital blanket draped over his lap. You feel a twist right in your gut, a pain like a knife slicing through butter.
Taehyung, staring down at the ground, his eyes wavering with tears that he is fighting to hold back, the steady beep of his heart-rate monitor, the sterile smell of the hospital filling your nostrils and locking around you hard and fast.
It feels like your mind is going a million miles a minute, different emotions tugging you into different places. You think about Taehyung, who is protecting you even now, who is doing the wrong thing for you. Guilt in the sharpest sense needles at you.
You think about the fists that crunched with a ferocity you’ll never know right into the small of Taehyung’s face, of the half burned down gallery that now sits in your city, of X’s flat eyes staring into you. It’s a world you don’t understand, that you don’t belong in, a world that has grasped onto you and no matter how hard you want to, you can’t seem to shake off yourself. You feel fear, a rendering of fear so awful and deep-settled that you can’t shake it away.
The sound of Taehyung shifting in place has you breaking out of your reverie.
Taehyung sighs. He reaches up and then stops, he is unable to run his fingers through his shaggy fringe. He stares at the thick, alabaster plaster wrapped around his hand.
“I just…” His voice is raspy, he swallows hard. “Do you love him?”
You gaze at Taehyung and you can see it etched right there in the slightest quiver of his lips. All of the ways a soul can hurt, scatterd there like kisses or bruises.
Taehyung is composed of light and clarity. Hoseok is the utter opposite - he is the tiniest of moans that escapes your lips when he presses his mouth to the shell of your ear, he is a heady and wickedly uncontrollable tempo, he is a dark place where you can unravel new threads, pieces of you that you had alwys been too afraid to confront in the past.
While everyone else is safety, Hoseok is freedom.
Taehyung smiles at you. Barely - the slightest twinge of his lips, a crease of his eyes. You are sure it hurts, that reassuring smile painted on a face as sore and bruised as his. But he smiles anyway, because he is Taehyung. And for a moment your heart aches, because it occurs to you how easy it would be to love somebody as safe and sweet as Kim Taehyung.
“Yes.” You keep your eyes steady on Taehyung. You feel your heart constrict, because is it a cop out, to rattle out the words ‘you can’t choose who you love?’ if you could choose to love Hoseok, would you? You think about him, Hoseok and his dark, desperate eyes when you had turned away from him just hours ago. If you could choose who you love, would you still choose him?
Your chest is tight, and you think to yourself that if someone could crack open your body, they would likely find a kingsnake coiled in between your ribs, its body wrapped firmly around your heart.
“Yes,” You murmur. “I love him.”
You glance up to see Taehyung’s reaction. He looks up, stares at you. His face is carefully passive, his eyes searching yours for a split second before he speaks.
“Does he love you?”
It’s a question that catches you offguard. You stay still for a moment, your mouth closes and opens.
“I… I don’t know,” You answer honestly. A corner of your heart peels backwards, sings out silently that he does, I hope he does.
“Do you trust him?”
Taehyung keeps his eyes on yours and you nod.
“I do.” Your voice breaks off into a small, sad laugh. “I don’t know if I can trust myself, though.”
Taehyung doesn’t speak immediately, the beep of his monitor feels the space.
“Trust your instincts,” He says finally. You think to yourself that you can’t, that you can’t trust yourself, your heart, even your mind.
“I’m scared to.” The words come out as the barest of whispers as tears prick your eyes. Taehyung leans forward and his bandaged hand brushes against your wrist.
“Don’t be scared of trusting yourself.” He says softly. “I know a lot of people in my position wouldn’t tell you this. Usually, when a guy loves a girl, the last thing they want is to see her with somebody else.” His eyes flicker, he glances at you and you understand what he’s trying to tell you. His eyes search yours for a split second, looking for something, before his face breaks into a small, sad smile.
“Look… if there’s something there, a spark, a feeling, a flame… don’t throw it away because of fear. The only person who truly knows your heart is you. The only person who truly owns your heart is you. So… trust yourself, okay?”
Tears drip down your cheeks. You nod, your bottom lip wobbles, you tell yourself not to cry but the tears only drip faster and fatter down your cheeks.
“Okay.”
Your voice is strained and thick with tears, and you glance up at Taehyung. His eyes are wet too, and you stand up, leaning forward to wrap your arms around your friend.
Taehyung’s hair brushes your cheek and you can tell he’s crying from the wet tears that drip onto your shoulder. You can feel it when you are standing this close to him, how much pain he’s holding inside, how much fear and loss.
You are full of blame, guilt and confusion, but you stay close to Tae, holding him in a hug. Telling him, in a way that only you can with somebody you’ve known as long as you’ve known Kim Taehyung, that you’re sorry.
You pull away and Taehyung’s tears have subsided, as have your own.
“I just… This s a whole other league, and I… just be careful. Of them. Of all of it. Be careful. You know that, right?“
You don’t miss the worry that infuses Taehyung’s tone. You reach out and hold his hand. The plaster is rough under your palm and you nod, tears spilling down your cheeks.
“I know.”
Once you are outside of the hospital, you cradle your phone in your hands.
Logically, you know that the smart thing to do is to put your phone back in your pocket and to go home. The right thing to do on paper is to write off Hoseok as just a fleeting mistake, to turn away from him for good.
But you can’t. You don’t want to.
You think about Taehyung’s words, about the spark, and the flame, and you think about Jung Hoseok. You don’t know what is it about him, but you don’t want to let go of it. You don’t want to let go of him. And it is that thought that you have in mind as you press dial and lift the phone to your ear.
The phone rings out and you feel your mouth go slack with nerves.
“Hey.” Hoseok’s voice is cautious as he answers, you swallow.
“Can I see you?”
There’s a silence across the line and then Hoseok clears his throat.
“Uh… okay. I’m at my place, do you want to come over? Or I can meet you-”
“Your place is fine. Can you text me the address?”
You hear Hoseok swallow, mumble out a soft “Sure”. You tell him you’ll see him soon, as you hang up and hail a taxi, wondering if the decision you’re making is the right one.
The drive isn’t long, you are wrapped up in your thoughts about Hoseok and the gravity of the situation. You pull up to Hoseok’s house, and see him sitting on his front step. He’s dressed casually, a black tee and black jeans, and he stands up when you approach.
“Why are you here?”
His question is careful and you stop in front of him.
“You said you don’t lose me.” You say quietly, and Hoseok nods. “I don’t want to lose you either. I just… feel scared when I think about what exactly I’m losing. Is it the real you, or the you I want you to be?”
Hoseok stares at you and then glances away, his eyes downcast.
“The real me isn’t great.” He says in a short voice. “But with you I was… I was always the real me. If that’s what you’re asking.”
The two of you just stare at one another and Hoseok sighs.
“Is your friend okay?”
“He’s not going to say anything to the police if that’s what-”
“Hey. I wasn’t going to ask that. I was asking because I actually want to know.”
Hoseok has one eyebrow raised and you falter.
“You actually care about him?”
You can’t help but sound bitter.
“I care about you, so, yeah. I guess I do care about him.”
Hoseok’s words has your resolve crumpling, and the composed expression slips from Hoseok’s face as he steps forward.
“Hey, I…” Hoseok bites his lip. “Fuck, I’m the worst with this kind of thing. I…” His voice raises with each word and then he pulls you into his arms in an uncertain hug. You inhale him, feel his arms encircle you, crying into the crook of his shoulder. Hoseok just runs a hand along the centre of your back in circles, until finally, the tears subside.
You pull away from him and Hoseok peers down at you. “You look exhausted.” Hoseok says brusquely, “Have you slept? Showered?”
You shake your head, and Hoseok nods. “Look. Come in, do all of that stuff, and then we can talk about whatever… okay?”
“Okay.”
Hoseok whirls around and walks up the stairs to his house, and you follow.
“Bathroom’s down that way, kitchen’s through the hall if you want something to eat. Alright?” Hoseok looks uncertain for a moment and you nod, heading to the bathroom.
You close the door behind you and stare at your reflection, feeling your frayed nerves start to settle. You turn the tap on for the bathtub, letting the small bathroom fill up with steam, your thoughts slowing and your breathing evening out as you pull off your clothes and turn off the tap, lowering yourself into the tub. The water is hot, soothing, and it pulls away at the tension gathered inside of your chest.
“You alright?” Hoseok’s voice calls out from the hallway, and you glance at the closed door.
“Can you come in for a second?” You call out, and the door opens. You hug your legs to your chest, covering yourself as Hoseok walks in.
“What did you think when I walked up to you the first time we met?”
“Honest answer?”
You nod. Hoseok tilts his head to one side, staring at you before he lets out a sigh.
“I thought you were trying really hard to prove something to yourself.” He murmurs. “I thought you were hot too.” He adds, smiling faintly for a second.
“But you didn’t care about me then, right? At the start?”
Hoseok bites his lip. You rush to fill in the spaces.
“Honest answer again, please.”
Hoseok gazes at you and nods slowly. “At the start, yeah. I didn’t.”
“So what changed from then to now? What makes how you felt about me then, different to how you felt about me now?”
Hoseok leans against the bathroom wall, swallows. “I don’t really know what it is.” He says eventually. “But the more I got to know you, the more things changed. I like how being with you makes me feel. I care about you and I want you to be safe and happy. I miss you when you’re not with me. I don’t want to just fuck you, I… dunno, wanna spend time with you.”
You don’t answer, staring at Hoseok.
“I’m scared.” You whisper. You don’t explain what you are scared of. You don’t put into words that you’re scared of loving him, that you’re scared of trusting him, of being vulnerable. That even though you’re scared, you still want him.
“I’m scared too.” Hoseok responds. “Of a lot of things, actually. But I feel less scared when I’m with you.”
His voice breaks and he shakes his head. “Sorry, that was cheesy as fuck.” He mutters, but a smile slips across his face.
The honesty in his words takes you by surprise and you hug your knees to your chest. He tilts his head back, and you stare at him and try to remember how to breathe. Because like this, when he’s standing in front of you, eyes creased in the corners, a smile soaked in an effortless, easy kind of happiness, arms folded and those clavicles peeking out from the neck of his black tee… you haven’t taken a breath, you can’t take a breath.
“I…” Your voice speaks of its own accord, his eyes hone in on yours and you let out a shaky mouthful of air, the words tumble out before you can quite stop them, “Join me.”
Hoseok pauses and his eyes flicker over to the tub that you are perched in. You have slept with him what feels like countless of times, you have the imprint of Hoseok’s bare body stamped in your mind, but there is something about this moment right now that has the breath seeping out of you and a tremble deep in your bones.
Hoseok doesn’t speak, he just clears his voice.
“Really?”
You nod, draw your knees in to your chest. Hoseok gazes at you for a prolonged moment, and then reaches behind his body, his fingers grasping at the back of his tee to pull it off of his head in one clean motion.
You see it- the flex of his torso, his taut, lean stomach, the dip of his collarbones and his fingers as they tug off his black jeans. You’ve seen it, you know it, but still your heart hammers hard and fast in your chest.
Hoseok pulls off his pants, revealing his thighs, strong and muscled. His hips, they twist as he throws his clothes carelessly in the corner of the bathroom, he steps towards the bathtub and steps in until he is seated opposite you.
You immediately close the space, inch closer to him until your knees are touching, and he lets out a soft sigh. You watch as he reaches up and runs a hand through his hair, the water keeps his hair slicked back and off his forehead.
He cocks his head down at you.
“You’re an idiot.” He murmurs, but there is no malice in his words. Instead, he sounds oddly breathless, his voice so husky and soft that you can only just make out the words.
“I’m an idiot?” You repeat, your features wrinkling into a delicately affronted expression.
Hoseok nods, his face is a mixture of emotions that you place for split seconds, like rolling waves, one replacing the other – intensity, vulnerability, tenderness, affection.
He cards his fingers through his hair, shakes his fringe out of his eyes, the snake on his wrist disappears under the water’s surface.
You feel your breath catch in your throat, a tremble working its way up your thighs and locking tight around your stomach like a band. He hovers in front of you, oozing a dark and dangerous charisma. Your eyes linger over his shoulders, the curve of his collarbones, his taut stomach.
Neither of you speak. You just stare at one another. Here, seated opposite one other in an old, cracked bathtub, it feels as if time is still.
He reaches out and presses his palms gently, carefully, around your face. His fingers skim over your jaw, until he is holding you in his hands and his eyes are searching yours. He is looking for protest that you don’t give, before he finally leans in.
Hoseok kisses you slowly. It’s something you aren’t used to with him – you are accustomed to hurried, hungered kisses. This is slow, languid almost- his lips careful and a bit clumsy against yours, his palms still cupping your face. Right there into the curve of your lips he lets out a sigh and his body relaxes.
At the sound of it- the throaty sigh of release deep from within his belly, you lean in closer, chasing into the feel of his lips. Hoseok responds, his hands sliding from your cheeks to rake into your hair.
It occurs to you in a fleeting thought just how well he can read you now, how your body responds almost instinctively to his.
The water splashes quietly against the side of the tub as his hands comb through your hair down to the centre of your back. He tugs you closer to him so that your body folds on top of his, he stretches his legs out along the expanse of the tub.
His skin glides against yours underneath the water, you begin to feel a slow knock between your legs as his hands massage intently against the small of your back. You let out a tiny groan and pull away for a moment to glance at him – Hoseok, his hair wet and slicked off of his face, droplets of water on his skin.
His hands are still tight against the slip of your waist, he kneads his fingers harder into the curve right above your ass and you let out a tiny, stuttered moan. Your face is only inches away from Hoseok’s and he keeps his eyes locked on yours, his breath ghosting over your lips.
“Do you want me?”
It’s a simple question, his voice low and tilting, but for once there is no teasing note at the end of his words, the smirk gone from his lips. Your breath shudders out, you can feel your lust knocking between your legs as you stare into his dark eyes. His face is utterly serious, his eyes dark with desire and intensity.
“Yes,” You breathe out, and Hoseok’s eyes flicker, his tongue licks over his lips.
“Yes,” You repeat, watching as a muscle in his jaw twitches. He lets out a tiny groan and captures your lips in another kiss.
You kiss him back hungrily, letting out moans in between kisses as Hoseok pulls your body even closer to his, growls against your lips as his hands curve around to cup your ass.
Hoseok breaks away from your mouth, he doesn’t stop, his mouth trailing down and stamping hot kisses along the curve of your jaw, down the slope of your neck. You are trembling, the thud between your legs dangerous and familiar as you adjust your hips.
Letting out a soft whine, you rock your hips, feeling the smooth friction of his thigh against your cunt.
A loud moan spills out of your mouth at the feeling of contact against your sensitive core, at the barest thread of pleasure and relief it offers. You grind against him harder, it only makes the ache worsen, and Hoseok lets out a growl right into the base of your ear.
“You’re such a fucking tease,” He says in a low voice. “Hmm? Rubbing that pretty cunt all over me?”
You breathe in sharp and quick at the sound of his voice, raspy in your ear, the grip of his fingers on your ass. He smirks when he hears the ragged whine that escapes your lips as you swallow hard.
He reaches between your bodies and his hand slides over your inner thigh. You let out a begging sound, the ache growing more intense between your legs.
“I want you, Hoseok,” You choke out and Hoseok lets out a low hum, pressing his body closer to yours.
The water laps at the sides of the tub as he nears closer to you, his mouth inches from yours, his palm still flat on the inside of your thigh.
The sides of his knuckles graze at your sensitive core and your breath pitches in, lust pooling in your body. You tilt your hips upwards, desperate to feel more of his touch against you.
Hoseok’s dark eyes stare into yours, his hair wet, drops of water slowly sliding down his face. Your heart is hammering your chest, your thighs tensed, your core aching and throbbing for him. Hoseok leans in and presses his lips to yours carefully, as his fingers inch closer.
The tip of his pinky carefully caresses over your slit and you fall apart into his kiss.
“Sit up.”
He murmurs it into your lips and you hesitate, pausing before he says it again, more forcefully.
“Sit up would you?”
“W-why?”
“Just… just sit on the edge of the tub. That end, princess.” His voice is impatient, but softens as he uses the nickname. You push yourself off of him reluctantly and stand, sitting down on the edge of the tub with your back against the wall.
As your back touches the cold tile, Hoseok heads towards you.
His hands brush over your ankles in the water, his palms smoothing over your calves. Your breath rushes in as he slowly moves up your legs, until his palms are canvassing your inner thighs, his fingertips grazing carefully over your pussy.
Your back is stiff, desperately arched, as Hoseok glides his hands back down your legs. It feels as if your entire body is on edge, wanting him to touch you, the gnawing ache between your legs wicked and intense.
His fingers journey up over your inner calves, your thighs, resting by your knees before he pushes.
You glance down, taking in the visual of your legs spread, Hoseok between your thighs.
You swallow hard, a new punch of lust searing through your body.
“H-Hoseok,” You stammer out his name and Hoseok gazes right at you, his lips quirked into that same slow smirk, his eyes intent on yours.
“Yes?” He murmurs, leaning down and pressing his lips teasingly to your knee.
“I…” Your voice thins as he inches forward, presses his lips against the soft skin of your hip. You tremble as Hoseok places his hands on the inside of both of your thighs, spreading your legs apart wider.
You can’t think of words, your thoughts fading out into an incorrigible mess of emotions as Hoseok leans in, his words come out softly against your spread cunt.
“Is there something you’re trying to say?” He gazes up at you from between your legs.
Your breath comes out in ragged gasps, the knock between your legs intense and all consuming. Hoseok gazes right at you, dark eyes tracked on your face, his mouth only centimetres away from your pussy. Fuck.
You press your head against the back of the wall, clench your thighs, let out a shaky breath. The word breezes out between your lips.
“Please…”
Hoseok lets out a moan and glances down, staring at your core.
“God,” He mutters softly, “I love hearing you beg.” He swallows before he leans in even closer.
His tongue wetly traces up your slit. The sensation of his tongue against you has you twitching your hips, your hands grip the edge of the porcelain tub. Hoseok’s tongue, tasting all up of your wetness, ends by your clit, you cry out as he hums, pulling himself away.
“Feel good?”
His voice barely registers as his tongue finds your pussy yet again. He presses the flat of his tongue against your clit, tracing down your inner thigh. His tongue is coaxing, flicking slow patterns around your clit. You throb from how good it feels, his mouth on you, Hoseok between your legs letting out soft moans, his shoulders flexing as he reaches up and slides his finger into your walls.
You feel your belly start to coil tightly as Hoseok pushes the entirety of his finger slick into you. His tongue continues to work needy circles around your pussy as he pushes his finger in and out of you.
The rhythm is slow at first, teasing, the rock of his finger fucking you out and the lapping of his tongue against your folds. The sensation of him pushing his finger inside of you has you gasping, your legs stiffening, while the softness of his tongue has your deep-seated urgency unravelling at the seams.
You tip your head back hard against the wall as Hoseok slips another finger inside of you. His thumb darts in to massage teasingly around your clit, his touch is hard and punishing, almost making you cry at the sensitivity before his tongue is there to gloss over the ache.
“I’m going to cum,” You pant out, turning your head to the side so that your cheek is pressed flat against the cool ceramic tile of the bathroom wall.
Hoseok doesn’t stop, he rubs his thumb against your clit harder, works his tongue deeper into you.
The back and forth has your back stiffening desperately, the throb causing your mouth to fall open as the high rides over your body, breaking in euphoric waves as you moan out his name.
“Fuck!” Your voice shakes as Hoseok tilts his head back, his eyes on yours as he sits up, still between your legs.
You let out a strangled, wanton moan, your orgasm washing over your skin as Hoseok chases into you, his lips close to yours when he whispers, “You look so hot when you cum…” He lets out a possessive moan as he kisses you, deep and long before he groans out, “I want to fuck you.”
His words make you moan. Your eyes flutter open as you gaze at him. The glow of your orgasm, and him, hair wet, mouth glossy with your wetness, the lust hungry in his eyes, has something snapping inside of you.
“Fuck me,” You breathe out, “I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk.”
Hoseok’s hands grip around your thighs at your words as he tugs you down until you are back in the tub, the water splashing as he kisses you deep and rough, his tongue domineering as his hands squeeze your hips so hard that you can’t help but gasp breathlessly into the kiss.
He breaks away and kisses down your jaw hard, peppering his mouth against your neck and against your pulsepoint. You whine as his lips clamp down at your neck, sucking at the skin there before he jerks his head up, his lips by your ear.
“Turn around.” His demand is spoken lowly and you feel a shaky spin of lust and excitement grip you as you turn around, no longer facing him.
Hoseok immediately crooks his body behind yours, his hands roaming your front, grabbing at your breasts and squeezing hard. His fingers find your nipple and he skims over your hard nipple with his fingertips, teasing out a choked moan for you as he pinches down, his lips at your ear again.
“You missed me fucking you like this?”
He reaches up between your breasts, one hand on your neck, the other shifting to your left breast, stroking your nipple as you nod desperately, breathing out a shaky, fevered yes.
He pulls away, his palm is on your back and you move, shifting until you are bent forward. The tile is hard against your knees and Hoseok lets out a growl, moving so that he is directly behind you.
You feel as if you are unraveling, your body tensed and desperate for him to fuck you. The tip of his cock is right at your slit, and you shake.
“Please,” You moan out, your lean forward, propping your ass up higher in the air, wanting, needing him to fuck you.
“Fuck, I love hearing you beg for it,” Hoseok murmurs in a throaty voice and the words spill out desperate and heavy as you arch your back even more.
“Please fuck me, God, I’ll do anything, please-”
He pushes himself inside of you mid-sentence and you break off into a loud moan, feeling his cock stretch you out, his hips snapping into you hard and fast.
You can hear him groaning in your ear at the feeling of your walls around him, and the fullness of him inside of you as you mewling out in pleasure.
Hoseok doesn’t give you time to fully settle into the feeling of his cock as he slams his hips against yours, snapping his hips upward so that you feel all of him inside of you, you whine at the pain of it, the satisfying hum of pleasure as he groans, right into the shell of your ear.
“You feel so fucking good, God.” He thrusts harder, deeper, and you feel your breath hitch in.
“And you tasted so fucking good.” His voice is rough, hoarse as he keeps fucking into you. He thrusts hard, making your body sway, and the sensation of it has your walls clenching. The waves of pleasure are still faintly ebbing through your body from your earlier orgasm, but the pleasure builds in a new, duller, deeper anticipation at each punishing snap of his hips.
“Hoseok, harder,” You moan out his name, each heavy breath seems louder in the bathroom, the water splashes as he stutters out a moan, thrusting inside of you even deeper.
It feels so good, him crooked around your body, fucking you so hard and so deep that it feels like all you can think about is him. You pant out his name, your voice husky and breathless from the intensity of his cock slamming into you so deep and filling you whole.
“Fuck, you’re gonna make-”
“Cum inside of me, please.” Your breath rushes over his, the feeling tightening in your stomach as Hoseok lets out a groan at your words. He leans forward, tilts his hips and fucks into you harder, ruthlessly, before his body staggers forward as he cums inside of you.
You feel a wave of satisfaction wash over you as Hoseok’s body shakes from the force of his orgasm, his thrusts slowing.
It feels as if the space between the two of you is electric, everything is magnified – the water against your skin, the sounds of Hoseok’s ragged pants, the soft, pleased hum that is fighting it’s way from the back of your throat.
You feel light, like you’re floating, as Hoseok’s body starts forward, his muscles relaxing as he moans into your hair.
“Fuck,” He mutters, he presses his lips against the back of your head. “Wow. I thought I was gonna black out for a second there.”
He pushes himself backwards and you turn until you’re sitting and facing him. Hoseok has a blissed out, relaxed smile on his face as he leans forward.
“Your knees,” He tuts, the porcelain of the tub has left your kneecaps pink and his fingers brush over them in a surprisingly tender gesture.
You both sit like that for a moment, facing one another, your ragged breathing slowing and evening out. You feel thoroughly fucked out and so satisfied that it crackles over your skin.
Hoseok is the first to move, he stirs, pushing off of the tub until he is standing. He reaches above his head and stretches, before he steps out of the tub.
“C’mere,” He glances over at you and outstretches a hand.
You gaze at him, the softness that has settled properly into his face. You feel it bubbling up in your throat, thumping through your veins. You gaze at Hoseok’s outstretched hand, at the snake’s tail that curls around his wrist, and you think about everything that you have tried so hard to fight, to run away from.
You grasp Hoseok’s hand and stand up.
“Remember the time you tried to run away from my place by escaping through the bathroom?” You ask suddenly as you step out of the tub. Hoseok just lets out a wry laugh in response, as you step over until you are facing him.
“Shh,” He mumbles, reaching up and pulling you in until you are in his arms. A tiny gasp escapes your lips and Hoseok leans in closer, an amused smile playing on his lips.
“Do I really have that effect on you?” He asks, a hint of a laugh in his voice as he mimics your gasp. He dips his head closer, and you feel the jackhammer drum beat of your heart from being so close to him, from the intensity of his gaze.
“No,” You lie, and Hoseok’s face opens into a proper smile, as bright and golden and warm as the sun.
“Uh huh,” He responds in a dry tone, as he opens the cabinet behind your head. He pulls out a fluffy white towel and wraps it tightly around your shoulders.
He runs a hand through his wet hair as he stands in front of you, his eyes crinkling in the corner as his smile fades.
He stares at you, his face serious, his eyes locked on yours like he is memorizing every single inch of your face, travelling it like a map.
He reaches forward, his hands loop around the small of your back as he pulls you into his arms.
His lips find yours with that same rushed assurance that you’ve come to recognize as Hoseok’s signature. He rushes into it, his mouth chasing into yours hungrily, and you let out an involuntary sigh into his lips. His palms press flat against the curve of your waist, you can feel the heat of his body, the towel still wrapped tightly around your body.
You reach up and cup his face with one palm. You slow the kiss down, right down, until you are kissing him at a pace that is languid and slow. You feel your heart beat louder and faster in your chest, relinquishing in it – the feel of his strong body holding onto you, his lips, the way he matches your rhythm.
His hands flutter up to gently, carefully cup your face in his hands. The kiss deepens, enough to have you sighing and feeling as if your entire world is spinning.
You aren’t thinking anything, you aren’t feeling anything, all you are aware of his him, the boy kissing you sweetly and tenderly, drops
“I mean that we’re not letting it stay here. I don’t want it in our fucking house.”
“Don’t you think you’re taking this a little too far, Taehyung? She’s a human being,” Hoseok says, annoyance clear in his voice.
“She’s the human being who faked her own death, broke your heart and left you behind with that awful family of hers. Then came back out of nowhere, only to kill someone right in front of the people who took your broken pieces and put you back together and now you’re asking us to let her into our home?” Taehyung raises his voice, almost yelling the question.
After last night’s fiasco of who’s behind door number one, Taehyung went to sleep expecting to wake up to the girl tied up and ready to get thrown to the wolves. What he didn’t expect to see was his loved one’s listening to his Hobi asking if it was allowed to stay. Of course he didn’t agree and had to make his points very clear.
Hoseok sighs, “I know it doesn’t sound logical but you have to understand that this will be my only chance at closure. Tae, please,” he walks to his dongsaeng and grabs his hands, holding them delicately.
“This is my Ha-Neul.”
The younger’s eyes shoot up at that. “That’s not fair, this is a completely different story and you know that.”
“How is it different? You needed her to close that chapter of your life. I need Y/N to close mine.”
“Hannie didn’t have the skillset and connections to also end our lives, let’s start with that.”
Taehyung looks him in the eyes. “I’m just trying to protect us. There have been rumours going around surrounding an assassin-for-hire called Gemstone. I’m willing to bet it’s the same girl sleeping in one of our beds at this very second. Whoever you knew all those years ago is gone, she’s a threat now Hobi and I’m not comfortable with letting one even look at you guys. How do you think I feel about letting a threat stay in our home?”
“Shouldn’t we take her to Lee, before we decide on something that might not even be possible in the first place?” Jungkook asks.
Yoongi nods and stands up from the table he was leaning on, he takes Hoseok’s hands from Taehyung, “I appreciate that you feel safe enough to share all that you have, but Jungkook is right. It’s one of the few rules the underground actually follows and you know this, doll.”
Hoseok’s face falls. “We’re really bringing her to Lee?”
“We have to, love,” Yoongi says. He cups Hoseok’s face in his hands and gives him a slow kiss, making sure that he knows this conversation was done for now.
“Alright, let’s wake her up and take her to judgement day,” Jin says.
“Oh, she’s been up for quite awhile, took a shower, opened the door and has been looking for ways to escape for about as long as this conversation has been taking place,” Namjoon casually mentions while showing the footage on his tablet of Y/N walking around the hallways looking directly into the eye of every camera.
… (crickets) …
“Ow! What was that for?” He says as he presses a hand to the place Jimin just smacked him up the head.
“For not saying anything earlier, dumbass, you’ve just let her roam around for this entire time?”
“Well, I didn’t want to interrupt. It became quite emotional. Plus, she won’t find any-”
Namjoon is interrupted by the fire alarm going off. Loud and clear. Everyone rolls their eyes at him before running off to her last known location.
-
“Eugh,” you grumble as you wake up with one hell of a headache, squinting your eyes against the sunlight streaming in from the open windows. You bury your head under the sheets. Wait a minute… These are silk sheets, the ones at my home aren’t this fancy. You shoot up, cursing yourself when your headache starts acting up again. Your eyes are still shut tight against the sunlight shining directly on your face. Turning to the opposite side of the room you open them and see the closed door, remembering what happened last night.
Hoseok’s breakdown, the crying, your breakdown, even more crying which ended up in a warm embrace.
You look around and see that the cause of said breakdown and embrace isn’t next to you in bed anymore nor is he present anywhere else in the room. The sheets are still warm when you lay your hand on the empty spot so it wasn’t a long time ago that he decided to get out.
After taking a few minutes to fully wake up you move towards the door which you assume leads to the bathroom. Even if you’ve been here for over three days, according to the clock ticking in your head, you never went outside of the bedroom once, in fear of alarms going off or something happening that would lead to your untimely death. Now that Hoseok has been here and they probably got the answers they wanted, you feel like it’s safe enough to go out and if not then so be it.
You let out a whistle at the sight that greets you. It must be connected to another room, because it’s huge. You spot the shower behind the bath, separated by a cream colored wall with a window, a window! The bath is placed in the middle of the room. It’s definitely fancier than your bathroom at home. Gosh, home. I really need to get back. What if they’re already gone-. You stop your thoughts before you freak out. The first course of action is to take a shower and get a clear mind. After all, it would be a shame to let something so beautiful go to waste.
The shower helped you clear your mind, it was no longer overworking itself with worry and anxiety. You didn’t scrub your skin red like you would usually do but instead tried to take care of the marks left from when you fought Blondie and from the shit they’d tied you up with. They couldn’t have done a nicer job.
Now that you’re standing in the walk in closet all your thoughts pass by peacefully in your mind, waiting for your permission to present itself to find a solution and create a plan. The first is what you’re going to wear, this closet has a ridiculous amount of clothing and if that’s not enough, you can see brands which you would only dare to think about in your dreams. Sure, you came from a rich background but your parents never really cared for your wardrobe, neither for your entire wellbeing if you were to be completely honest.
Okay, no, you’re not welcome.
Shaking your head before that thought could develop any further, you take the first best thing you see, some, probably overpriced, sweatpants and a very comfortable looking cropped sweater. After drying your hair with the hair dryer in the bathroom you make your way to the door, carefully pushing down the door handle, waiting for alarm bells to start ringing or for guys wearing masks to jump out of the ceiling. Neither of those things happened.
You waited a few more minutes before opening the door and cautiously stepping into the hallway, scanning it for any possible threats. The hall was empty, no one in sight and your ears didn’t pick up a sound either, however, you did find multiple ‘hidden’ security cameras which you waved and smiled at. They must have 24 hour surveillance in this house, mansion, hide-out, whatever it was.
You were just about to head left when you heard yelling from that side of the house.
So, we’re definitely not going that way.
Deciding to escape your captors for as long as possible you went right, searching for something that could help you escape or at least figure out the size of this house.
Your scavenger hunt leads you to multiple doors that were locked, cupboards that hold few pictures of the residents and other useless things.
Eventually you finally spot something useful. The small, but beautiful red box that held ~ the fire alarm ~.
Your body automatically moves towards it, your finger pushing the button before you even realize it. The sound it makes shocks you out of the trance and you start giggling.
After a few seconds you hear multiple footsteps coming towards you, trying to withhold your giggles, you look around and decide to play a game of cat and mouse.
Let’s have a little fun boys….
-
“I swear Namjoon-ah if she escapes, you’re going to be sleeping on the couch for the next two weeks,” Yoongi grumbled while trying to keep track of your whereabouts on the tablet.
“You know she’s not going to escape, the house is sealed tight. Not a single door or window will open up for her, hyung.” Namjoon was walking casually, almost strolling, behind the rest of the group who were running around and sniffing, trying to find you. They reminded him of wolves going after their prey, he snorted at the idea.
Yoongi turned around in an instant. “You think this is funny?”
“Yes, I do actually. You’re getting way too worked up over this. Jungkook will find her within five minutes and we’ll be on our way to Lee in about fifteen. So, yes, the way you’re all acting as if this is your life mission is quite funny.”
They stopped walking and Yoongi looked towards the rest of the guys, sighing deeply. “I hate it when you’re right.”
“I’m your right hand man which means that I’m always supposed to be right.”
“Still, doesn’t mean that I have to like it.”
“Even after ten years?”
“Especially after ten years, you’ve become insufferable.”
They both laugh at that, moving again when they hear Jungkook’s victorious yell of ‘Hah, I got her first!’.
-
Jungkook felt his feet glide over the floor as he sped after you. He was able to spot you within two minutes after finding out your location. Your giggles told him that you weren’t actively trying to escape, probably already knowing that they locked up the house, making your chances very, very slim.
You were just being a brat.
Running around the house and making them run after you like a couple of dads trying to capture their wild toddler.
He had to admit the chase was fun and he reveled in the excitement that filled his body when he finally got close enough to capture you.
Your screaming laughter filled the hallway as he grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder. He didn’t understand why you were being so easy and carefree while in the company of your captors. Were you really not afraid of them at all?
“Did you seriously think you could just escape like that?”
“Hah- of c-course not,” you wheezed out, going limp in his hold. “But I was rather bored after staying in the same room for three days, so I thought, let’s have some fun.”
“And this qualifies as a fun time for you?”
“Oh, definitely, though I thought you would find me sooner. I’ve been running around for awhile now.”
Jungkook cleared his throat while carrying you back to the living room. “Yeah, that would be RM’s fault.”
He saw Taehyung rounding the corner and grinned, “Hah, I got her first!”.
“Why the fuck is she wearing minnie’s clothes?”
Jungkook shrugged and put you in the same chair as you were in yesterday, this time without all the constraints.
“I thought it’d be rather rude to go running around naked,” you said.
“You should’ve stayed in your room to begin with,” Taehyung sneered.
“V, don’t be so grumpy,” came the voice of Jimin from the entrance, “besides, she looks absolutely edible in my set.” He walked over to him and threw his arms over his shoulders, nuzzling their noses together.
Taehyung sighed but kept his mouth shut.
Jungkook didn’t understand how Jimin and you were on such good terms already. As far as he knew you only met each other that night of your capture. Jimin wasn’t one to trust quickly and he hadn’t explained why he was so kind towards u.
The captain wasn’t sure about his stance on your stay with them. That’s one of the reasons why he wants to take you to Lee first.
What use would it be to worry about your stay when you might die within the next few hours?
-
“So, what brings you here Agust?”
Yoongi looked over to where Taeyong was seated at his desk, a new boy on his lap as always. “Seems like you got over Jaehyun quite quickly, do you really not care for your subordinates Lee?”
Loud laughter resonated through the room as Taeyong patted the boys’ bottom to get him off his lap, standing up to walk around his desk and lean back against it.
“Not for him, no.”
He spotted the girl they brought with them and seemed to brighten up.
“Ahw, did you get me a little feel-better-present?”
“I got you the assassin that killed your subordinate,” Yoongi said. He was already getting annoyed. He didn’t like the Lee’s, famous for their clubs full of pretty boys willing to fulfill all of your wishes. According to Taeyong every single one of them gives their full consent before they take them in and he knew this was true, heard it himself from Jimin.
His face turned into a scowl, thinking about Jimin’s past always riled him up.
He stepped to the side and let Y/N get through. She didn’t seem to be very nervous for someone who’s life was in some psycho’s hands.
They were all surprised to hear a high squeal from the boy standing behind Taeyong. He ran over to Y/N and all but jumped into her arms.
“Gemmie!”
She laughed and lifted the guy up in her arms, holding him tightly.
“Hi, Markie, I hope he’s been treating you well.”
Taeyong scoffed. “Of course it’s you.”
“Are you not happy to see me?”
She grinned, readjusting her grip on the kid and hiking him up further.
“Can’t say I am, everytime I see your face one of my guys is dying somewhere in a ditch.”
“Seems like a you-problem. Where’s Doyoung? You two have got to get your guys in check.”
The doors behind them opened and the man himself came walking in, followed by two other guys. He looked up, seeing all the people in the room and sighed.
“What have you done this time, Tae?”
Taeyong gaped at his partner. “Absolutely nothing, I promise.”
“You really expect me to believe that when what seems to be the entirety of the inner circle of Bangtan is present?”
“Mommy, mommy! Look, noona’s here!”
Doyoung focused his attention on the kid, Mark, bouncing in the arms of Y/N and smiled kindly at the pair.
“That’s wonderful, baby. Do you mind going downstairs with Johnny?”
“But noona just got here,” Mark pouted, hugging Y/N tighter.
“I know, sweetie, but we’ve got to discuss some adult things.”
“I’m six, that’s a big, adult age!”
Y/N laughed, releasing her hold on the boy and putting him down on his feet.
“Yes, puppet, you’re a very big adult. But your mom’s right, I promise I’ll come back to talk to you soon. We can go to the fair or something, okay?”
“Pinky promise?”
“Pinky promise.”
Yoongi was starting to wonder how far your bond went with the Lee’s. Did they know who you really were? Why were they so chill with you killing multiple of their subordinates?
-
After Mark had gone with Johnny you were left alone once more in a room full of the men who were about to decide your faith.
“He doesn’t look six,” came a comment from RM.
Doyoung, who was now leaning back into the chest of Taeyong looked up sharply at him. Ever the picture of a fierce mother lion. “His mindset is, his body is nineteen for your information.”
“Wow. Didn’t think you’d actually go as far as mind manipulation Lee, thought you just kept it at naïve young teens.”
Before either Taeyong or Doyoung could say something you scoffed loudly. “You’re such a fucking asshole, do you know that?”
You turned to him, starting to get pissed off, not only at him, but at this entire situation. You’ve been gone from home too long, all for some bullshit reason and if they didn’t let you go right this second they were about to get it.
“I do actually.”
“Well, great that you’re so self aware Einstein. Might do you some good to actually research shit and get aware of the hellish situations other people come from. Unlike what you and your whole operation seem to think, the Lee’s don’t let underage, naïve kids work in their clubs. They don’t force their boys to do something they don’t want to do.”
“I actually brought Mark here myself. After I found him locked in an abusive home,” you said, slowly losing control of where you were going, but they shouldn’t talk shit about the boys in this house, especially Mark.
Doyoung walked forwards and put his hand on your shoulder, calming you down.
“You don’t have to defend us in front of people who won’t listen, they’ve made up their minds a long time ago,” he explained softly, looking over at Jimin.
“I know you came here because of the third order, but we’re not going to kill Y/N nor take her captive so she’s free to go. Now unless you’ve got some other business with her, I ask you to leave our territory at once.”
Yoongi nodded and walked towards the doors, signaling the rest of Bangtan to follow.
“You’re coming along as well, Gemstone, we’re not done yet.”
You sighed, turning to Doyoung and Taeyong, giving them a salut and walking after the King.
-
“I’m not getting into that car unless you’re going to drive me home.”
Taehyung rolled his eyes. They’ve been doing this for a good five minutes and his patience was running out. Yoongi wasn’t going to agree with you, neither was Namjoon and those two could be very difficult to persuade, so he did as he saw fit. He opened the car, went into the driver’s seat and asked for your address.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Yoongi asked.
“This is going to keep going on until we’re all fat and bald, I’d like to live a little bit more before we get to that point. We’ll continue this conversation when we get to her home. So now, tell me, what’s your address?”
“You don’t already know that?” You tilted your head to the side, looking at each of the guys for an answer. When no one gave you one, you laughed.
“Oh my Athena, you really don’t. If you’re going to kill me, don’t do it there. I don’t want to scare the neighbours,” you said as you rounded the car and dropped yourself in the passenger seat, residing your address to Blondie.
We’re back at the mansion of Bangtan. The guys try interrogating the girl they captured, but things don’t go according to plan and a lot of new information is revealed.
“Three days, it has been three days since that bitch from Marco Polo last opened her mouth Jin. I want answers and I wanted them yesterday so when the fuck is she gonna start talking?” Yoongi yelled at his old friend. He didn’t mean to lose his temper like this but it had been a stressful couple of days for him. Not only for him, he knows that, his whole crew has become anxious and nobody has slept more than a few hours.
He still didn’t know how it all went down. After the girl spoke Hope’s real name it escalated quickly. The only thing he saw was a red flag flowing right in front of him and like a bull he barreled straight towards it. Nobody knows the real names of his inner circle. For a few years even he was clueless to what some of them were called. Their names were only revealed to those who earned their trust and Yoongi knew damn well that nobody from Marco Polo earned that privilege.
So, how did she know? How did she gain this knowledge? Where did she even find it? Did she know all of their names? Questions have been running through his mind 24/7 and he wanted answers but those were difficult to obtain. See, right after she called him a bitch, which still upset him, the girl revealed a pill from under her tongue that she broke with her teeth and swallowed before her words even reached his ears. He didn’t know what it was but it knocked her out cold within a minute. It confused the fuck out of him.
<…<
Yoongi stared as the girl went unconscious in his hands. Her body fell forward but was held back by the rope that tied her to the chair. He released his hand from her jaw and tapped her cheek. “Hey, nameless,” he tapped her a little harder. “Agust, stop, it’s not gonna work. She’s out,” Jimin said as he stood from the couch and crouched in front of the girl. He opened her mouth and started feeling around with his finger.
“Euhm, Jimin, I don’t think that’s better than tapping her cheek,” Taehyung said, unsure of what the assassin was doing. “Shush.” Jimin felt his finger hook on something in the back of the girl’s mouth and pulled it out. He held the tiny bag triumphantly between his fingertips. “This, my loves, is the culprit. Well, what was inside this little bag is the culprit but that’s gone now.”
Hoseok walked forward and took the bag from Jimin, examining it closely. He smirked. “She’s definitely part of Marco Polo.” A sigh came from his left. “We kind of already figured that out Hope, welcome to the party,” Taehyung deadpanned with a fancy wave to their surroundings. Hoseok rolled his eyes at him. “That was just a guess because she said their name, now you know for sure,” he said as he waved the bag around like a flag.
“How come?” Yoongi asked, doubting that a bag could so easily reveal which gang she belonged to. “You know those suicide pills that agents used during World War ll?” “Yeah, what about them? She’s still breathing so it couldn’t have been that.” Hoseok laughed. “No, she didn’t use one of those but she did use the same method.” He walked over to the couch and sat down in a relaxed position. “When I was still with the Polos-” “Hobiii,” Jimin interrupted with a whine as he crawled towards him. Hoseok stopped and pulled the pouting boy in his lap. “I know you don’t like me talking about my time there, baby, but it’s important right now.”
He rubbed comforting circles on Jimin’s thigh to soothe him. “When I was there I saw a lot of twisted shit but this stuff really surprised me. Little bags like this one,” he held up said item, “were used to store suicide pills and the like. It’s very smart actually. They figured that when someone got captured that person didn’t have the time nor possibility to grab a pill from their pockets, so they just put them in their mouths. Ready for use when needed.”
“And she used one to store something that would knock her out?” Hoseok tilted his head. “I think so yeah, she put it in the back of her mouth. See these strings?” Yoongi nodded. “They tie these around their teeth so the bag falls under their tongue. When they press against it the pill pops out. Then they just bite it, swallow it and tada… No chance of getting tortured or spilling any information.”
Jimin let out a whistle. “Damn. She’s just getting more interesting with the minute,” he said. He watched the girl in front of them for a minute, wrecking his memory of places he could’ve seen her before or people he could’ve seen her with. The assassin knew many people, it was one of the reasons why he got on Bangtan’s radar. His connections all around the world, both above and under-ground were extremely useful and valuable. Especially during things like this. Finding out who their chosen victims were was one of his main tasks, besides killing anyone who crossed his lovers of course.
When nothing came to mind he figured he didn’t know her, but someone might.
“Hobi, I know it’s highly unlikely, but do you recognize her? Since she said your name and all.” Hoseok looked at the girl in front of him. If he were to be honest he did have an idea of who she might be. Although he prayed it wasn’t true. “Maybe,” he shook his head, “but I want to be sure before we take that road.”
“Why not just figure it out on the way? A guess is a guess, babe, we need to help each other with this one.” Taehyung told him as he crouched in front of the girl and examined her. “Not this one, guys, seriously. If I’m right, then prepare yourselves for another war.” Hoseok padded Jimin’s thigh to get him to stand up. He walked to the girl and started untying her. After getting her upper body free, he ripped her sweater.
“Whoa, hold up, this is not how we treat-” “I know Chim and I’m not gonna undress her, that’s Solar’s job. I just need to see her back.” He moved the fabric out of the way and started searching for the only clue he could think of.
Her upper back was bare of anything, just pure, naked skin. If you ignored the scars that is, but Hoseok wasn’t looking for those. All of them had at least one reminder of ugly times on their body’s. That didn’t make it clear she was a Polo.
He pulled the entire sweater of her body and threw it somewhere in a corner. His eyes slowly made their way down… His lips turned into a tiny smile when he saw the inked picture placed on her lower back.
Found ya.
Right there, just above the waistband of her pants, was a beautifully detailed snake. He couldn’t deny that the design was gorgeous, but it wasn’t the snake that grabbed the man’s attention. It was the tattoo hidden underneath. He guessed the purpose of the snake was to hide the compass he knew by heart. Hoseok couldn’t understand why the snake didn’t cover the whole thing though. It didn’t even look like it was supposed to be hiding it. The snake was put in a position in which it added to the tattoo, instead of covering it up.
The compass was what he had been looking for. It was the brand mark of Marco Polo, any member has one somewhere on their body. He can still feel the scar burning on his left bicep from where sharp stones had slashed the skin when he tried to get rid of his.
Only his didn’t have a poisonous snake resting in the middle.
Hoseok grabbed the girl out of the chair and lifted her in his arms, making sure her back was visible for the rest of the guys.
“So? Do you know who she is now that you’ve seen this tattoo?” Yoongi asked him, annoyance starting to leak in his voice. He was getting exhausted and just wanted to lay his head down on his pillow and sink into the heaven that was his matress.
“Yeah,” Hoseok answered rather sombly, looking down at the face of the girl he once thought he would never see again. A heavy silence fell over the room as everyone waited for him to tell them who she was but Hoseok seemed to get lost in his thoughts.
And he was. Every single memory of her came rushing back to the forefront of his mind from the deepest parts where he had buried them a long time ago. He was speechless and couldn’t believe that he didn’t recognize her the second Taehyung carried her through the front door.
…
Friday 18th of August, 2006
“Mamba, meet our newest soldier Jay.” His capo said to the girl standing in front of him, well not in front of him. She was hidden behind a guy he knew to be Viper, the son of Consigliere Rizzo. Still, the twelve-year-old could feel her piercing gaze even if he couldn’t see her eyes and Mamba? What was it with all the snake names in this gang?
“Welcome, Jay,” the girl said in a calm voice, walking past Viper to greet him. Hoseok stared at her, bowing his head, because even if he didn’t know her status, the fact that she was specifically introduced to the boy gave him a hint that she stood far above him.
“He’s going to be molded into the perfect bodyguard for you, Mamba,” the capo said. The girl scoffed at that. “I don’t need a fuc-” “Mamba,” the guy next to her said. Hoseok didn’t know their relationship, but they seemed to be very close as the girl only rolled her eyes and went silent.
Suddenly, her attention was on him again and he straightened up immediately. He had the idea she was about to analyze him and decide if he was worth it or not. His life lay in her hands, he figured, since he was supposed to become her bodyguard and all that jazz. If she decided he wasn’t good material to start with he had no doubt that they would replace him in a heartbeat, and he would be without his own rhythmic muscle.
“Fine,” the girl said as a sigh left her. “See ya another time then, Jay.”
…
Friday 18th of July, 2008
“Mamba, come on. You don’t need to learn all of that. What use would I be for if you didn’t need me?” Hoseok said, trying to get her to stop training. “Jay, I know you’ll be my bodyguard, my human shield, my personal escort for the rest of my life. Don’t you think it’s important I know the basics of self-defence? Like, for when you’re not present,” the girl said as she took a break to catch her breath.
“Muay Thai isn’t exactly a basic of self-defence, Mamba,” he sighed. He knew there was no arguing with her but even after two years he still tried. Every. Single. Time.
…
Tuesday 17th of March, 2009
“Mamba, I’m fine. I promise.” Hoseok insisted for the tenth time. They were just a few cuts, nothing he hadn’t experienced before. “No, Jay, you’re not. You’re literally bleeding from multiple spots on your body. The person I’m looking at right now is far from fine.” She tutted disapprovingly as she started treating his wounds.
“I can’t believe he actually send you to do his dirty work.” “It’s what I’m training for bab-” He quickly stopped himself from finishing that sentence, but the girl was too pissed off to notice his slip-up. “No, it’s not. You’re training to become my bodyguard, not his personal minion.” She huffed irritatedly. Hoseok’s eyes shot up at that and he smirked. “Oh, so now you finally accept that, huh? Took you long enough,” he teased.
She slapped his shoulder softly, trying not to hurt him any further than he already was, although it was really tempting when he was being a smartass. “Shut up. I still don’t like it.” But even as she said it, he saw the small upward quirk of her lips.
…
Friday 25th of September, 2009
“Mamba, you’ve got to get up. You can’t keep lying in bed all day.” Hoseok looked at the fifteen-year-old who was wrapped up tightly in her covers. He sighed, knowing he probably wouldn’t get her out today. Just like all the other times the past week.
“Baby, I know you don’t want to and if I could I would give you all the time to properly grieve, but you need to get out. Otherwise it won’t be me asking anymore, your father is going to demand your presence soon.” He hated using her father against her, but he was telling the truth. Her father wouldn’t be as lenient as he was being right now, even if he had just lost his own son.
A broken voice startled him out of his thoughts. “I-I can’t, I can’t JayJay,” a sob wrecked through her body and Hoseok could swear he felt it tearing through his heart. “I know, baby, I know, but I need you to be really strong right now and just, just take small steps for me. Let’s take a shower, huh? Or a bath?” He asked her. Trying everything to get her out of that fucking bed.
…
Friday 18th of November, 2011
“Mamba, now is not the time to play games with me. Where the fuck are you?” Hoseok yelled out while the burning smoke only got bigger and thicker. He covered his mouth with his shirt as he desperately tried to catch a glimpse of icy blonde hair.
The wind picked up and he finally got a clearer view of his surroundings. Looking to his right he saw the car that had driven off the road. “No,” he whispered after spotting a girl trying to crawl out of the wrecked vehicle. A fire made itself present in the back of the car. “No, no, no… Mamba, get out of there!”
Hoseok fell down when a loud explosion followed the fire. Squeezing his eyes shut he told himself to wake up, to open his eyes and see that his angel was perfectly okey, sleeping right next to him. But his eyes didn’t open to that image.
All he saw was fire. Fire everywhere and no angel in sight. His ears picked up a sound that reminded him of a screeching banshee. Only minutes later would he find out that it was his own voice, screaming in agony as the girl was no longer there, no longer present in his life. The only light he had known, his little star, burned out without ever saying goodbye.
…
Jimin saw the emotions flashing over Hoseok’s face. He walked up to him and cradled his tear stained cheeks in his hands. “Hobi,” he locked eyes with the shocked man, “can you come out of your head for us?” His hands slowly started stroking over his lover’s cheekbones, trying to get him back to reality.
Hoseok blinked a few times and shook his head. Noticing that his body was shaking he carefully laid the girl on the couch. Jimin was right behind him and grabbed his face again, wiping each offending tear off his cheeks with his fingers.
“What happened my love?” He asked in a soft voice, not wanting to scare Hoseok now that he was in such a vulnerable state. Taehyung and Yoongi stepped closer to the pair, both shocked to see such an emotional reaction out of their boyfriend.
Hoseok took Jimin’s small hands in his and kissed them. After taking a deep breath he turned towards Yoongi, completely ignoring Jimin’s question. “I need to go to bed. Can I tell you tomorrow, please?” He asked, after clearing his throat. Yoongi looked at him, saw the heartbroken look in his eyes and wrapped his arms around him tightly. “Of course, Seokie, don’t force yourself to tell us right now,” he gave the man a sweet peck on the lips, but didn’t let go.
It had been a long time since he last saw Hoseok like this, shaking, crying and on the verge of breaking. Determination to find out who this girl was and who she was to his lover grew in him. He needed to know who the woman was that crashed into their life’s for he knew she wouldn’t leave soon and definitely not without leaving destruction behind.
“Why don’t you go with Jimin to his room? Tae and I will wait on the rest of the guys and give them a quick briefing of what’s going on and then we’ll join you, if you want. You can also just go to your own room, I don’t know wha-” Yoongi got interrupted by a giggle. He was glad to hear the other laugh again.
“You’re rambling Yoongles,” Hoseok said with a grin on his face that got even bigger when Yoongi scrunched up his face at the nickname. “I’ll let you have that one since we’re all tired and want to go to bed. So,” he patted Hoseok’s ass and let go of him, “go up with Jimin.”
Another giggle was heard and he expected to see the two of them disappear through the doors, but Hoseok surprised him for the second time tonight. He walked towards the girl on the couch and crouched down, caressing her face with his left hand, a sad smile on his lips.
“You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, angel.”
With that he left the room, leaving a lot of confusion behind. Jimin send one questioning look back at Yoongi and Taehyung, who both shrugged since neither of them had any answers.
“What the fuck was that?” Taehyung asked Yoongi as soon as the others had left hem. Blunt as always. “I have no clue, Tae, but we need to get her out of here, otherwise the guys will explode before we even have a chance to explain the disaster that’s been this night.” He said. “We can place her in the Light room,” he suggested.
They did just that.
After Yoongi had explained the events of that night to the other guys he could finally slip under the covers and get a full three hours of sleep. They had planned to wake the girl up the next day for questioning, but she didn’t give any signs of consciousness for the entire hour they tried to wake her up. Taehyung got pissed off and offered to “awake the bitch with a kick to the ribs,” but Hoseok shoved him against the nearest wall before he could even take one step towards the bedroom.
So, Namjoon advised to leave her alone and check on her every hour or so. The day went on as usual, a few business meetings, approving new soldiers, making sure Taehyung and Jungkook didn’t kill them within the first hour. All in all a pretty peaceful day, which left Yoongi with an itch when he stepped through the front doors of their mansion. Because the King didn’t have peaceful days, Agust D doesn’t go a day without getting challenged and Min Yoongi hasn’t rested since that dreadful night all those years ago.
He needn’t to worry though, since that itch was about to get scratched by sharp manicure nails and sadly for him not the ones his kittens loved to wear so much.
In the evening, after all the guys had devoured Jin’s newest culinary creations and were lounching around, they heard a scream coming from the light room. Yoongi arrived first and stopped dead in his tracks when he took in the scene in front of him. On the ground next to the bed lay Jin, covered in the noodlesoup he’d made for the girl as dinner. The first thought running through Yoongi’s head was that she had attacked him and escaped. His eyes quickly scanned the room and soon found a pair of piercing eyes staring back at him.
“Jin,” he said as he hesitantly stepped in the older guy’s direction, “would you be so kind to explain what the hell happened?” Jin stood up and glared to the bed where the girl sat straight against the headboard. “Well, Agust,” he began with a huff, “I was just turning on the light and walking towards the bed. Of course I expected her to still be asleep so you can imagine my surprise when I put down the soup to see her eyes wide open. Not just that, at the exact moment our eyes met she said boo.” The girl started smiling at that. “The only acceptable response to that was to fall down on the ground and I’d rather not disappoint the newest addition to this household.”
Yoongi shook his head as he tried not to laugh at the bullshit story Jin had just created. “Well, how thoughtful of you to not embarrass our guest with an inappropriate reaction.” At this Jin nodded his head, still holding tight on selling his excuse. “Yes, I thought so too.”
The door got pushed open further and the rest of the guys made their way into the room. “Is everything okay?” Namjoon asked, looking adorably confused as he stared at Jin, still covered in noodle soup. “Yes RM, nothing happened.” “Nothing happened?!” Jin shrieked as he flung his arms around, noodles swinging around the room. One fell on the girl’s face and Yoongi went to take it off.
He hissed as sharp nails suddenly dug in his wrist, preventing his hand from touching the girl’s face. Within seconds he was pushed back behind Jungkook who made to grab the girl. She jumped up on the headboard of the bed, out of his reach, which even Yoongi had to admit was pretty admirable. That headboard was almost as thin as his arm, she definitely had to have some training.
“However fun it would be to stand here with all of you and watch Jungkook hunt his new prey down, I’m feeling really disgusting right now. So, please, everyone GET OUT OF MY WAY.” Jin yelled, he was already starting to shake. Namjoon and Jimin quickly grabbed his wrists and rapidly walked out of the room.
“So, sleeping beauty,” Yoongi began as he focused his attention on the girl, “finally managed to open those eyes of yours?” He didn’t get a response at that, just those green eyes blinking back at him. Her gaze followed his body as he moved towards the side of the bed and sat down, folding his hands in his lap. “Now that you decided to graze us with your conscious presence, I’ll let you in on what’s going to happen.”
“We’re going to ask you some questions and if you’re a smart girl,” he noticed her eyes twitching at that, something to keep in mind, “then you will answer each question truthfully. If you don’t then we’ll take you to the basement, where we’ll repeat every single question and trust me, you don’t want to make us repeat ourselves.” This time her eyes didn’t twitch, but he saw something flicker over her gaze, maybe she saw this as a challenge?
He huffed. It’s been a long time since someone tried to really challenge him, well except the guys of course, they seemed to love pushing his boundaries these days. “JK, stand down,” Yoongi told the youngest, who still looked ready to pounce the girl any second. However, he was reminded of how well the boy listened to him as he backed down as soon as the words left his mouth.
The conversation only seemed to happen between him and the woman before him, but he felt the presence of Hoseok in the shadows and heard Taehyung move from foot to foot, energy always flowing. “How about you sit down?” He asked the girl, extending his arm to help her on the bed, but she just stepped down and squatted in the corner furthest from them.
“First question, what’s your name?” She didn’t answer, just looked around the room. He saw her eyes linger on the spot where he knew Hoseok stood, but they made their way to his before most would’ve even noticed. “Need I remind you that we don’t ask questions twice?” Again, no answer, just more stares. “Second question then, why did you kill Jaehyun?” A giggle was heard this time and a smile found it’s way on the girl’s face.
“Yeah? It was fun wasn’t it? Bet it felt really good to poison such a disrespectful asshole,” he leaned forward. The girl nodded with another giggle. It wasn’t a direct answer, but he figured it was as much as he was going to get at this point. He held three fingers up. “Third question, are you a member of Marco Polo?”
She tilted her head and it reminded Yoongi of last night, of how innocent she made herself look while she was just giggling about murdering someone. Yoongi noticed that he was comparing her to his lovers. She seems to have a lot of different skills like Jungkook, is manipulative like Jimin, finds death a matter for giggles like Taehyung. He could go on and on, but he stops himself before ideas start forming in his head.
We still don’t know who she is. Find that out first, then you can start daydreaming.
“That’s all the questions I have for now, sweetheart, just three of ‘em.” Yoongi stood up and motioned for the rest of the guys to start leaving the room. “We’ll check in every few hours and see if you’re ready to answer them. If you don’t answer in the time frame we want, well, then you’ll get to see the fun we have downstairs.” He holds the doorknob and casts one last look to the girl, who’s still sitting in the same crouched position as she had been the entire time. Just as he’s about the close the door she speaks.
“I’d still like a bowl of noodle soup, please.”
>…>
Monday 8th of June, 2020
Now they’re here, many bowls of noodle soup later and still none the wiser on who she was, why she killed Jaehyun and if she was a present member of Marco Polo. Hoseok still hadn’t told them what he knew and the tension was rising up.
“I don’t know when she’s going to start talking, Yoongi. It’s not like I’m some kind of wizard who can just compel her to answer,” Jin harshly said back. He sighed and let his posture drop, slumping down in the chair. “Let’s just take her down to the basement, tell her that the time’s up and start the interrogation process. Like we have done with every person we’ve ever taken.” That last bit was directed towards Hoseok, who had pleaded with them to wait a couple of days instead of the usual few hours.
“Let me ask her.”
All their heads turned to Hoseok. He hadn’t been in the room the girl resided in since she had awoken. “Are you sure?” Yoongi asked. “I don’t know what you’re relationship with her is or was, but we won’t push you to talk to her, Hobi.” His gaze was soft as he focused it on the assassin, but he was only met with determined eyes. “I don’t even know if it’s going to work but I want to try it out before we take her down.”
“How sad, I was already looking forward to-” “Shut up, Taeyhung.” “Fine, fine, just do it now then so we can move on and get back to business. This bitch has been taking up way too much of our time,” Taeyhung grumbled as he stood up and left the room. A few chuckles went through the room. “Even after all these years his temper hasn’t changed one bit,” Jin said. “Eugh,” Namjoon groaned, “I know, at least he’s learned to use words to make his annoyance clear instead of attacking anyone who displeases him.”
“I definitely don’t miss the weeks of getting stitched up by Wheein, almost daily.” Everyone laughed again at the mention of Jungkook’s memory, well all except for Hoseok who stood up and walked towards the door. “You’re really okay with questioning her, baby?” Jimin asked from his place on Namjoon’s lap. “Yeah, I’ll be fine Jiminie. Just come check if I’m still alive and kicking in about twenty minutes,” he grinned and made his way to the light room.
His smile dropped quickly after that.
You heard someone knocking on your door and prepared yourself to go down to the basement. It already surprised you how long they tried to get answers out of you in a civil matter. Probably has something to do with Hoseok. So it came as a bit of a surprise when you opened the door to be met with the one and only assassin.
For a few seconds neither of you said a word, just staring at each other, seeing the changes that eight years have brought upon the other. “Come to take me to hell?” Hoseok scoffed but the cold expression on his face remained. “No, I’ve come to talk to you.” “By talk you mean me answering the questions you already know the answers to,” you said. “Doesn’t that sound unlogical to you? I mean it is so much more work to-”
Your sentence got cut off when Hoseok pushed you back into the room and, in your opinion rather dramatically, slammed the door shut. “It’s not fucking UNLOGICAL that I want to have a talk with the woman who left my entire being in pieces eight years ago!” He yelled into your face, tears already streaming down his cheeks. Just looking at you brought everything back, the good and the bad. The nights spend kissing your lips and stroking your hair. The nights spend screaming and sobbing in his hands until his throat was sore and his eyes were bloodshot.
“I thought you were dead, I mean I still do. My brain can’t even comprehend that your here right now, standing in front of me, breathing and talking. Talking like you never even died, like I never saw you die that day, crawling out from a burning car that was seconds away from exploding.” His voice broke while he talked about his memories. “I left that week, just like you did. I couldn’t stand seeing your family nor your bedroom. I grabbed my bags and got out before anyone even returned from the funeral, YOUR FUCKING FUNERAL.”
He was sitting on the floor now, looking at you with eyes that gave away how much it still haunted him even after all this time. This wasn’t how you wanted this to go. You didn’t want this at all. The day you ‘died’ was the day you blocked away all your memories of your time at Marco Polo, of all your struggles, but also all those days spend laughing and crying with him, your bodyguard, your sunshine, your Hobi.
You joined him on the floor, sitting down next to him and putting your head on his shoulder, feeling it move as he took a few deep breaths. “I’ve always wondered what love would feel like, ever since I was a little girl, running around the garden and stumbling over my feet while I followed butterflies who were in the midst of a mating dance.” Hoseok chuckled softly at that, still sniffling and trying to get his breathing pattern in order. “The first time I felt something akin to love was when my brother started reading me bedtime stories, he always made sure to be in my room right when my bedtime was due. He started caring for me the way a parent should care for their child, he told stories about all the different kinds of love in the world and never failed to put in an ‘I love you’ every single day.” “Luca was pretty great,” Hoseok whispered absentmindedly. You nodded your head. “Yeah, he definitely was.”
“The second time I felt love it was another brotherly type, my brother’s best friend basically became my second brother, he was always a bit more lenient towards me than Luc and let me get away with shit a lot easier,” you laughed, thinking about all the trouble you got in. Your childhood wasn’t entirely made out of neglectment and sorrow, there were bits and pieces where you were just a normal kid, finding out that pranking your brothers with water and flower had its consequences.
“Jaebeom works under us now, has been working under Yoongi ever since Luca…” He didn’t finish the sentence. “You can say it, Hobi, since Luca passed away.” Your mind was so overwhelmed with all the memories that came crashing down that you didn’t notice the nickname falling out of your mouth. Hoseok swore his heart skipped a beat when he heard it. “I already knew that, btw,” you casually mention as you go on with your story, “I’ve been kind of working with them for a few years.” You didn’t explain further and he decided to leave it at that, it was a topic for another time.
“So, you’ve only felt love two times in your 26 years?” He asked instead. “I thought so yeah,” you looked up at him, “until my uncle suddenly came up to me with this frightened twelve-year-old. I swore he was shaking on those skinny legs of his.” There was no laughter following your words as you had expected it would. He met your eyes, this time they were full of questions, unasked ones and ones that you never answered. “I really despised him at first, he was supposed to become my bodyguard,” you scoffed as your gaze fell to your feet, afraid of the emotions swimming around in his eyes, “, like I even needed one. Apparently everyone thought so and when I fell on my ass during our second meeting I didn’t provide him with evidence that would prove otherwise.”
Hoseok did laugh at that, the scène playing out in front of his eyes, it left a small smile on his lips as he focused his attention back on you. “Turns out the kid on skinny legs was very skilled and young y/n didn’t like that, she wanted to be like that. So, she started training and eventually they started training together. Of course seeing him all sweaty, strong and shining that bright smile of his didn’t really help her poor, teenage heart and she began crushing on him in secret.” He watched her hands draw patterns on the floor, something he remembered was a habit of hers when she was talking from the heart, often embarrassed by her own honesty.
“Eventually they both confessed during a sleepless night which turned into a wonderful dream. It was the first time she felt true romantic love, the one that gives you butterflies at first and slowly turns into this comfortable feeling you get when you’re near them. It changed into viewing their life as important as yours and wanting for nothing except their happiness.”
It was silent for a few minutes and then you suddenly took his face in your hands, cradling his cheeks as if they were made of glass.
“I fucked up, Hobi, I messed up so bad but I had to do it. I had to get away before the ceremony and I can’t say I’m sorry because I wouldn’t do it differently if I had another chance.” Tears were now also running over your face, it felt as if a damn had been broken, every emotion found its way out of the confinements you put them in. “It just breaks my soul that I didn’t think about your happiness,” every sentence gets interrupted by deep intakes of air as you continue to sob. “I put my life over your own, I could’ve taken you or told you. I could’ve done something but I didn’t, because I couldn’t gamble with your life like that. I almost did die that day, the risk was never zero, b-but I-”
“You had to take it because otherwise you would still be stuck down there or,” Hoseok swallowed, “or you wouldn’t even be here at all.” You broke down more and he couldn’t take it anymore. Of course nothing was solved, this night opened wounds for him that never healed, but he saw that the same happening to you and just like you said. When you love someone you put their life, their happiness over your own and he could never stop loving you. Seeing you like this made him more upset and he just wanted to stop crying for a moment.
So he lifted you in his arms and walked over to the bed, not even thinking twice before carefully laying you on his chest and pulling the covers over both of you. Before he pushed the button that would close the curtains and put out the lights, he looked the camera in the corner dead in the eye.
“Her name’s Y/N Luna Rizzo, she is the daughter of Consigliere Rizzo. She killed Jaehyun because it was an assignment for Got7. On November 18th 2011 she escaped the mafia group known as Marco Polo by faking her own death.”
Across the hall Yoongi smirked as he twirled his whiskey around and watched Hoseok close his eyes on the monitor in front of him. Namjoon and Jin immediately started searching for any information they could possibly find about this woman. Jungkook had already left the room to go find Taehyung and Jimin made himself comfortable on Yoongi’s lap. “So what do we do now?” “Now we prepare ourselves for a war, just as Hobi predicted.” Jimin pouted as he inserted himself into the other two’s conversation. Yoongi’s eyes were still focused on the monitor, mind going through every single word the two sleeping lovers had said. He shook his head, thinking about all the shit that was waiting for them around the corner.
Marco Polo is an Italian Korean gang that traveled through Asia and eventually settled in South-Korea. It is known for its multiple locations around the world with the three main ones in Sicily, Tokyo and now Seoul. Their name is of course inspired by Marco Polo, but also the radioactive chemical Polonium.
Their members are poisonous, according to Yoongi at least. Poisonous little fuckers who always appear when you least expect it. Marco Polo and Bangtan have been at each other’s throat ever since the Italian gang decided to stay in Seoul. After the last gang war ended in a truce he thought he’d seen the last of them but as Yoongi steps into club Downtown he will come to find out that that can’t be further from the truth.
“I just don’t understand why I need to be present for this meeting Namjoon.” Yoongi sighed as he looked from the window to his adviser on his left. He really wasn’t looking forward to discussing a new contract with one of his dealers. “It’s necessary for them to see that you’re not just working behind the scènes Yoongi. You haven’t shown your face in quite awhile. If you keep doing that some people will start to doubt your leadership,” Namjoon calmly explained.
Jimin huffed. “Which idiots are stupid enough to doubt him?” He asked while fixing the knife in his thigh holster. “The Carters, Youngs, Lees and Polos.” Taehyung summed up from the driver’s seat. Jimin turned sideways to hit him on the shoulder. “We don’t talk about the Polos. Plus, we have a truce so why would they even bother?” “Don’t play dumb, Jiminie, a truce doesn’t mean shit if the other party looks weak,” Taeyhung stated.
Yoongi closed his eyes. “Can we not talk about the Polos for one night, please?” He asked as they pulled up to club ‘Downtown’. The guys grew silent. He took that as a yes and opened his door.
Jimin groaned as he stepped out of the car. “Eugh, these heels are going to give me ingrown toenails.” He put his right hand on Yoongi’s shoulder to keep himself from falling over while he tried to adjust his shoes. “Should’ve chosen a different pair then doll face,” Yoongi teased. The look Jimin gave him was anything but pleased. “These were the only ones that go with this outfit that YOU gave me, mister. So if I want to complain about the fact that the only pair that matched is too small, than you better prepare yourself for an earful.”
Grinning fondly at the assassin’s behavior Namjoon grabbed a bag from the trunk of the car and started walking away.
The group made their way to the cashier who stood right outside the doors of the club. “Name”, he asked without looking up.
“Agust D.”
That made the head of the boy shoot up immediately. Yoongi reveled in the way only a few letters could make people surrender to him. “King D, sir, my apologies.” The boy bowed a full 90 degrees and quickly signaled for the guards to open the doors.
They walked into the establishment and were immediately welcomed by a hostess dressed in a formal uniform. “Welcome to ‘Downtown’ King D, how can I help you and your party tonight?” She asked after bowing her head.
When she looked up her eyes dragged over Jimin’s form. He could almost hear the judgemental thoughts moving around inside her head and it really made him want to roll his eyes. Sadly, he had a reputation to maintain and they were here for business, not for petty fights.
“I have someone waiting for me at my usual booth.” Yoongi’s gruff voice snapped her attention back to him. She bowed again and started to lead the way. “Follow me then, please.”
“King D, welcome!” The dealer said loudly as he stood from the couch to move to one of the stools. Yoongi looked at him and already wanted to turn back around to go home. He really wasn’t looking forward to this.
“Thank you, Jung right?” He asked as he sat himself down with Jimin glued to his site. Jaehyun stuttered as his eyes landed on Jimin. “Yea-yes, Jung Jaehyun sir, from NCT.”
Namjoon joined Yoongi’s other side and laid the bag under the table. “I heard you wanted to discuss some adjustments for your contract with us?” “Yes, I have a ton of ideas and Taeyong said if I wanted them to happen I needed to talk to you.” Yoongi hummed and nodded towards Taehyung to close the curtains.
Always best to watch out for eavesdroppers.
-
“This here is your locker and you can find your clothing on the rack over there.” The manager of ‘Downtown’ pointed towards a neatly organized set of shelves at the left side of the room. “Your shift starts in thirty minutes so you should have enough time to choose a costume and get changed.”
You thanked him for the quick tour of the place and made your way to the clothes. “Oh, Yugyeom-nim-” “You can just call me Yugyeom, Ruby.” “Yugyeom ssi, is there a theme I should follow?”
The manager glanced around the room in thought and then looked you in the eyes. “I want them to cum in their pants the second they lay their eyes on you,” he deadpanned. You laughed, shaking your head and waved him away.
He moved to open the door, “Make me proud tonight Ruby.” With that he left the room.
You sighed as you grabbed a few items and went into one of the changing rooms. The small room had mirrors on all three walls which made it easy to get a full view of your body. After struggling with the thigh high socks and screwing up your make-up three times, you finally looked at yourself. Damn, if this doesn’t do the job then I might as well go home.
You had chosen to go with an innocent, white angel look and it wasn’t even half bad. The lingerie fitted you perfectly and the heels, even though highly uncomfortable, really pushed the picture of purity you were looking for.
Looking at the clock you saw that you only had five minutes left. You grabbed a pill from your make-up bag and put it in the small pocket of your robe. With one final glance in the mirror you let your mind fall into your character and walked out of the room.
The red ruby on your neck seemed to shine as it reflected the lights from the stage. Your red lips moved into a charming smile when you spotted your target sitting in a private booth.
Let’s get this mission accomplished.
-
Resisting the urge to yawn Jimin forced himself to look around. He couldn’t see much because of the curtains but he could still make out the bar. Yes, that’s exactly what he needed to get through this dull meeting.
Alcohol.
He tapped Yoongi on the shoulder and leaned towards his ear. “Hey, I’m going to get a drink, do you want anything?” Yoongi kissed him on the cheek. “You know what I want dollface.”
Nodding, Jimin got out of the booth and walked to the bar where you were standing with Jackson.
“Ruby, I’m serious. Just one date, please?” Jackson pouted at you. Laughing softly you shook your head at him. “The answer always has been and will forever be no Jackson.”
“Pretty, pretty, pretty please?” He whined. “Why would you even want to go on a date with me? You’ve got like half of the female population after your ass,” you said as you pointed towards some girls ogling at him from the end of the bar. He looked at you with puppy eyes.
“But you’re the only one I want to actually capture it. I mean look at you,” his demeanor changed as his eyes roamed over your body from head to toe. “Who wouldn’t want you chasing their behind?”
You grabbed your tray from the counter to hit him with, only to be interrupted by a giggle from your right.
“I mean he’s kind of right. You look gorgeous.” A voice said as you turned around.
Wow.
The guy in front of you could only be described as an ethereal being. He looked like one of those Greek gods from the paintings that your teacher always wanted you to analyze. A Korean Greek god? Maybe even a goddess considering the way he was dressed.
“Thank you but I look rather bland in comparison to you.” You nodded towards his dress and he smiled brightly. “It looks really pretty on you and does amazing things for your thighs.” You emphasized. He looked down and flexed his muscle making you both giggle.
“Yes, yes, you’re both extremely hot but Rubyyyy,” Jackson continued to whine, “you still haven’t answered my question.” Rolling your eyes you turned back around. “No Jackson. There ya have it. A simple, direct no.” He began pouting again.
“How many more times are you going to ask me out?” You asked as you put the tray back on the counter. “As many times as it takes for you to say yes.” He smiled sweetly. “Eugh, I’m done with you. Serve some drinks so I can do my job.” “I thought your job was to shake what your momma gave ya and make it rain.” You glared at him but before you could do any serious damage to his body a hand got placed on the counter.
“I’d actually like to order a few drinks for table P3.” You looked at Jimin from the corner of your eye and thanked him silently with a smile. “Sure thing hotstuff, which beverages do you desire?” Scoffing at the nickname Jimin ordered a few drinks. He winked at you before he walked away, swaying to the beat of the music.
“Now THAT is an ass worth chasing Jackson.” You smirked teasingly. He watched your eyes follow Jimin to his booth. “I wouldn’t try that if I were you, no one can touch the gem of Bangtan.” Your head snapped to him and he laughed at your expression. “Come again? Bangtan is sitting there?” He nodded his head. “I think even King D is present, something about making appearances.”
This mission just got a whole lot more complicated.
“Take this to them will ya?” Jackson asked as he placed the ordered drinks on your tray. You took a few deep breaths to steady yourself before grabbing the tray and walking towards what could be your final job.
-
“… and that’s why I think either the dosage needs to become higher or the price needs to go lower.” Yoongi just catched the end of Jaehyun’s speech. Maybe he should’ve payed more attention to it but it didn’t matter anyway, the things he was asking for were just ridiculous.
“Listen, Jung, I respect you coming here and actually asking for those kind of changes in person.” The dealer’s face lit up and he saw that his chest puffed out a little in pride. “However,” Yoongi looked him in the eyes and saw Jaehyun’s posture crumble from his cold stare, “upping the dosages of my drugs? Lowering the prices? You’ve got to have some serious balls to even think of such absurd ideas.”
He was really regretting coming here and wasting a perfectly good evening on this bullshit.
So when he saw Taehyung opening the curtains he kind of hoped someone had called him in for an emergency. Sadly, that wasn’t the truth. “Boss, your drinks are here.” He signaled to let them in. A squeal was heard from beside him and he looked at Jimin with confusion written all over his face. He knew he loved alcohol but was it truly worth all that noise?
“Ruby!” He half-shouted in his excitement. You looked up at the call of your name and smiled at Jimin when you saw him making grabby hands for the Raspberry Cosmopolitan in your hand. He thanked you when you handed the sweet drink to him. “Your an actual angel, darling.” He said gratefully after taking a generous sip.
“I’ve got a Gin Negroni,” Namjoon put his hand up and you placed the drink in front of him, “and a Black Russian.” You glanced at Yoongi and saw him roam his eyes over your body. After placing the drink on the table you stood back up. You could still feel his eyes on you as you turned to walk away.
“What? No drink for me sweet cheeks?” Jaehyun asked as he pulled at the strings of your robe, making it fall open. You heard a barely contained scuff from Jimin. “I’m sorry baby but this was all that was ordered,” you said with a sugary sweet voice. He pouted at you.
“Could you at least keep me some company then? Cause I’m still quite thirsty and you look like a fine, tall glass of water.”
Oh honey, no.
You tried not to feel disgusted with yourself as you forced a giggle out of your mouth. “Well, if you insist.”
Yoongi watched as you put down your tray and sat sideways on the dealer’s lap who looked like a kid on Christmas morning. You laid your left arm around his shoulders and started tracing figures on his chest with your right hand.
“What’s your name pretty?” Jaehyun asked breathlessly as you moved around trying to find a comfortable spot in his lap, putting pressure on his groin. “They call me Ruby,” you purred in his ear, “what do you go by, hmm, daddy?” He tightened his hold on your thigh and smirked. “It’s Jung Jaehyun, baby, but you can call me anything you want in that outfit of yours.”
What about an extremely repulsive asshole?
Instead of voicing your thoughts you just giggled again and fluttered your eyelashes at him. “I think I’ll keep calling you daddy then.” You moved to straddle his lap but were interrupted by a cough.
“Jung, do you want to keep talking or are you gonna keep wasting my time?” Yoongi said, grabbing his drink and sipping it slowly. Jimin was already done with his Cosmopolitan and just started eyeing the flower design on your lingerie. Namjoon was on his phone, probably looking for other meetings or events where he needed to be present. Taehyung still stood outside the curtains, hands behind his back.
Yoongi had other ideas for where he could place them but he was still sitting on this stupid couch, talking to someone who clearly wasn’t interested in selling his ideas anymore.
God, what a fucking merry dance.
His annoyed tone seemed to grab Jaehyun’s attention though and the dealer quickly pulled your arm from his neck, shooting you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry baby but I’ve gotta do some business.” Yoongi rolled his eyes. This guy really thought he was a big deal, didn’t he?
“Really?” You asked with pouting lips. Jaehyun nodded and padded your ass to get you off his lap. You stood up and slipped your hands in your robe. “Let me give you one of my goodbye kisses then, daddy.” He grinned and pulled you back by your wrist. “I would gladly receive one of those angel.” You giggled and grabbed his face in your hands.
You started with little kisses on his throat, slipping the pill out of your left hand and right into your mouth. Then you kissed him passionately and invaded his mouth with your tongue when he groaned.
The pill on your tongue was easily delivered in the back of the target’s throat. You prolonged the kiss to keep him distracted before finally pulling away. It all happened in a matter of seconds. Jaehyun swallowed when your lips moved from his. You smiled sweetly at him and stood up from his lap, gathering the empty glasses on your tray.
Yoongi catched your eye and you saw the lust floating around behind them. You turned your back to him and walked towards the curtains, giving your target one last sultry glance. He was still watching you with rapt attention. Taehyung opened the curtains for you and you laughed softly as you stept out of their booth.
Enjoy the ride, boys.
-
“So, where were we gentleman?” Jaehyun asked as he not-so-subtly tried to rearrange his pants. “I was about to send you home with a broken finger, rib or toe. Your choice.” Yoongi said as he sipped the last of his Black Russian, not looking bothered by his statement at all.
The dealer on the other hand choked on air and dropped to his knees immediately. “I’m so sorry if I offended you sir. Please accept my deepest apologies. I was a fool to ask for such idiotic changes.” He rushed to say while bowing with his head on the ground. A laugh escaped Yoongi as he stood up, only to crouch down in front of the guy. “You see Jung, the changes aren’t really the issue here. Sure, it was still stupid to even ask but I won’t let Jimin dismantle your bones for that.”
He looked back at the mentioned assassin and was met with a wicked smile.
“The problem is the fact that you let a woman interrupt your business deal like that. I don’t think Taeyong will be very happy with that when he finds out. You also disregarded my warning when I asked you to stop wasting my time.” He stood back up with a groan. “Instead of sending her away, like I expected you to do, you gave her a ‘goodbye kiss’. Quite a show if I may add, but that doesn’t change the fact that you did it in front of me. In front of my crew. A crew that has better things to do than watch you french an escort.”
“Hey, don’t call Ruby an escort,” Jimin complained softly from behind him. “She’s really sweet.” Yoongi turned around and gave him an unimpressed look. “You really want to argue about that right now dollface?” Jimin huffed and crossed his arms but said nothing. “Thought so.”
“Euhm, boss?” Namjoon asked, concern clear in his voice. “What?” Yoongi said as he turned back around to the dealer still on the floor. “Oh, that’s not good.”
Jaehyun lay sprawled out in a small puddle of blood and… Is that foam? Yoongi took a step closer to see where the substance was coming from. He didn’t find any marks on the body but when the dealer started choking his attention went to his mouth and that’s when he saw it.
A mixture of blood, spit and foam was slowly making its way onto the ground. “Any idea why this is happening Namjoon?” He asked while stepping back to join Jimin who was now standing near the curtains. “No, he just started bleeding from his mouth I guess.” “You guess? Are you serious?” Namjoon glared at him. “He had his head on the ground the entire time, what do you expect from me? Being able to look through his skull to see what’s happening?”
“Taehyung, get in here,” Yoongi called. The captain quickly made his way inside. His eyes looked around the room before landing on the dying man in front of him. “Planned, accident or not involved?” Was the only thing he asked as he looked at Yoongi. “Not involved so the only option is that escort Ruby. Shutdown the whole club. I don’t want anyone going in or out until we have her in our possession.”
Taehyung nodded and went back outside while conversing with someone through his earpiece.
Yoongi let out a heavy sigh. “This night just keeps on being really fucking annoying.” Jimin looked at him with sympathetic eyes. “It will be alright baby. We’ll be in bed before you know it.” “I hope you’re ready to say goodbye to your sweet Ruby.” He said. “Honestly if she did it I don’t even hold it against her,” Jimin shrugged. “That guy was just disrespectful and nasty.” He stuck his tongue out making Yoongi laugh.
“True, but I don’t like the fact that she did it so close to us. What if she plans to do something to one of us in the future? I’d rather not die while foaming from the mouth.” He grabbed Jimin’s hand and made his way out of the booth. Namjoon took the bag out from under the table and followed after them.
They all halted their steps when Taehyung’s voice made itself present in their ears.
“Got her.”
This night was far from over.
-
Exiting the booth you focused on maintaining a normal walking pace. You placed the tray with empty glasses on the counter and waved your hand at Jackson. “Hey, I’m going to reapply my makeup for a second.” He nodded at you. “Sure thing.”
After slamming the door of the dressing room behind you and leaning against it, you finally felt like you could breathe.
Okay, y/n, calm down.
You took a deep breath and started to change into your black outfit. It was still classy enough to not stand out in the club crowd but since it was completely black you could easily disappear in the dead of night.
Looking around the room you spotted an empty trashcan. You grabbed your angel outfit and threw it in there with the content of one of the many perfume bottles on the dresser. Lighting up a few matches you tossed them in one by one, watching as the fire consumed the white lace.
Bye-bye, sweet angel.
When you opened the door you were met with chaos. Turns out that little drug Lisa sold you worked faster than you thought. You quickly made your way towards the emergency exit, vanishing from sight between panicked clubgoers. With one foot outside of the door your mind already started celebrating pulling off another mission unnoticed.
Since your mind was elsewhere occupied, it didn’t give out alarm signals for the figure watching you from the shadows.
You were just a few meters away from the club when you were harshly pulled into an alley. Out of reflex your legs instantly kicked out at whoever was trying to get you off of the street. You heard a groan coming from your attacker and tried to turn around but the hold they had on you was too tight.
Suddenly you felt an enormous pain in your stomach which made you double over. “Motherfucker.” You coughed as you tried to regain balance. Your attacker didn’t give you a chance though as they punched your jaw hard, making your vision go black. The last thing you heard was a low, honeyed voice.
“Got her.”
…
When you woke up all you could see was…
Nothing.
You couldn’t see shit. Everything was dark. Black. Unlit. You tried moving your hands but were met with resistance. The same happened when you struggled to separate your feet. Wiggling your body was all you could do so you tried to move around a bit.
Out of nowhere you were swerved to the right. The sudden movement made your body hurl itself against the side of something hard.
Great, they threw me in the trunk.
So wiggling like a fish was of no use and trying to figure out where you were, was also useless since you didn’t know how long you were out for. What you did know, was that you were attacked in an alley back at Downtown, got knocked out and thrown in the trunk of a car driven by some lunatic.
Seriously, who swerves this fucking much?
As you closed your eyes again, you could only hope that your kidnappers would soon arrive at their location.
-
“Tell me why we let Joonie drive again?” Jimin asked as he fell on Yoongi for the tenth time. “Because while Tae was busy putting Ruby in the trunk and you and I were talking to Jackson, he decided to get in the driver’s seat,” Yoongi said. “Like the genius he is,” he added, sarcasm filling every word.
“Oh shut up,” Namjoon hissed, “it’s not that bad.” Taehyung laughed loudly. “You almost make me pity the poor woman. I hope for her that she’s still knocked out.”
Jimin squeezed Yoongi’s hand, making him look his way. “Do you really think she did it?” He asked seriously. “Afraid so, love. You saw the footage. I don’t know how she did it, but I think we’ll find out tonight.” Jimin nodded and started drawing patterns on his hand.
“I’m sorry, dollface. I thought this would be a calm night.” Yoongi said as he kissed Jimin’s cheek. “It’s okay, we can go back to the club another time. Let’s just say you owe me a peaceful night.” He shrugged. Yoongi smirked at him. “I don’t think any night with you would be described as peaceful.”
Jimin giggled and pulled his face towards him to place a sweet peck on his lips. It turned into a passionate kiss quickly, making both of them smile.
“I’d hate to interrupt you two, but we’ve got a woman to interrogate.” Namjoon said as he drove into the garage of the gang’s mansion.
“Let’s get this night over with boys.”
-
The second time you opened your eyes the light situation hadn’t changed. Your limbs were still tied together but this time you weren’t rolling around in the back of a car. This time you were sitting up on an uncomfortable, solid chair.
Your ears picked up a few voices speaking in Korean, voices that you recognized.
“If she doesn’t wake up in the next minute I’m emptying this bottle over her head.”
“Agust, no, what did that champagne ever do to you?”
“We’ve got enough of these in our stock, dollface, I will just grab another one for you.”
Bangtan. Your kidnappers were Bangtan.
You can work with that y/n.
You coughed and the voices immediately stopped talking.
Yoongi turned around with the champagne bottle still in his hand. The girl, Ruby, was tied to a chair in front of him. He couldn’t see her eyes because of the blindfold, but her head was aimed straight towards him.
“Did y’all disappear or something? Thought I was about to be showered with expensive champagne.”
“Do you know who you’re talking to Ruby?” He asked, trying to keep his tone cold and low.
She tilted her head. “Not really. Don’t know if you’ve noticed but my eyesight is kind of blocked at the moment.”
Jimin giggled softly and quickly covered his mouth when Yoongi glared at him. “Sorry, sorry,” he whispered with a smile.
Yoongi signaled to Taehyung to remove the blindfold. He yanked it off her head and threw it to the side before standing next to her chair. Her eyes went to him first and then focused on the couple in front of her.
He saw her eyes widen as they found Jimin’s. “Oh, hi, I remember you cutie.” She smiled at him and Jimin…
Jimin blushed. He fucking blushed from a nickname of one of their captives.
“That must make you, euhmm, King D?” She asked him.
He looked at her again. “Yes.”
She laughed, making Yoongi even more confused than he already was.
“King D. What does that stand for, King Dickface? King Dipshit? King Deficiente?” She completely cracked up at this point.
Yoongi grabbed her jaw and squeezed it tightly until she stopped laughing. “What’s about to happen to you is not very funny, Ruby, so I’d try to keep my mouth shut if I were you,” he said. Ruby yanked her head out of his grip and looked at him. “Fine, I won’t laugh but let me just say that you should really change your name.”
“I don’t think I will, seeing as it’s feared all around the world,” he stated. There was a tiny bit of pride noticeable in his voice. He worked hard to get to the point where just his name made people crumble. Yoongi often wondered if the sacrifices he made were all worth it but those thoughts would only lead him on a path of doubts he’d rather not walk. Usually he got sidetracked by alcohol or sex before he could get stuck in the vicious circle of what if’s.
“Feared by the entire world? Was that really what you wanted to be when you were a child?” She asked him with a sudden note of seriousness in her tone. He looked away as he thought about it. “If I wanted to talk about my childhood I would’ve snatched a therapist and not an escort.”
Ruby scoffed at that. “Escort? If you wanted to have sex you could’ve just asked.”
“Yeah? Like how that dead guy asked for a goodbye kiss? I don’t think he knew how literal you would take it,” Yoongi said.
He watched her patiently, waiting for a reaction that would show she was guilty and indeed killed Jung Jaehyun.
For awhile she just looked at him. Studying him as he studied her.
“He asked for a goodbye kiss and I gave him one,” she eventually said. “I don’t understand what that has to do with you kidnapping me and since it’s getting quite late I would like to know what you want from me.”
“Let’s start with your name,” Yoongi said. This could become interesting, he thought as he sat down besides Jimin on the couch opposite of the girl.
“Ruby.”
“No, I don’t believe that’s your name. Well, it’s your stage name or whatever it is called that you escorts use. I want to know your real name.”
“Ruby,” she answered again.
“It’s gonna be like that, huh?” Yoongi asked. The girl stayed still and blinked at him with uninterested eyes, clearly not anticipating his next move. He nodded his head towards Taehyung, who slowly took out his gun and pointed it at her head. She turned her head towards Taehyung and winked at him.
“Colt Python, lovely choice.”
Taehyung stayed silent and just stared at her.
“No? Nothing? You don’t really talk much. A bit rude to ignore the person you punched in the gut but you do you, I guess.” She shrugged and turned her head back to Yoongi.
Jimin was still watching her from the couch, listening to the conversation. He saved all the information she gave away in his head. So far he didn’t have much but she had to be part of some type of gang. She knew who they were, had obvious knowledge of weapons and was definitely trained in some type of martial arts if the way Taehyung had been limping was anything to go by.
“So, King Douche, I don’t think I’m here to have a cup of tea with you and discuss this weeks latest gossip. Could you get on with it and tell me how I offended the man who is feared around the world?” She asked with her words full of sarcasm.
Yoongi decided to take another route. Just being in their presence didn’t seem to be effective but threatening one’s life always did the trick.
“I could kill you right now, you know? So I’d watch that pretty mouth of yours sweetheart.”
“Kay? The ability to kill me is nothing impressive and it’s also not the best threat, you wanna know why, handsome?”
She fluttered her eyelashes at him and tilted her head slightly to the right, becoming the perfect picture of innocence. God, the things Yoongi could do to destroy that he thought as he scoffed loudly.
“Yes, I would love to know how this does not look like a threat to you,” he said, smiling to himself as Taehyung placed the barrel of his gun against her temple.
“It’s cause my neighbors could kill me if they wanted to, the cute bartender from Downtown could too, hell even I could kill myself. Believe it or not I tried to, but as you can see my attempts have been rather futile.”
She stared him right in the eyes and Yoongi felt himself get lost in those green pools of every emotion but the one he expected. He saw no fear, distress, surprise or even anger. Not even disgust. No, it was hard to get an idea of what was going on behind the windows to her soul. Did she even have one? Because having a soul meant having a mind, a mind that’s supposed to be able to think rationally. A mind that’s supposed to be giving signals to her body that she is in danger right now.
Still, all he saw was mischief, courage, calmness, even boredom. Boredom of all things. The girl had a fucking gun to her head, was tied down to a chair with nowhere to go and she had the audacity to look bored.
She took him out of his thoughts when he started seeing her mouth move again, tongue rolling around to create syllables to words no one had ever dared to speak to him.
“Killing doesn’t make you powerful because anyone can do it. Even a little kid could take a knife in their hands and push it somewhere in to your body. It’s the ones that survive that knife you need to watch out for. As the brilliant Kelly Clarkson once said: ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’.”
“I don’t think you got the point though, sweetheart. All the power in this room right now belongs to me. I-”
“No, it doesn’t and no, I most certainly did get the point. I know that you call the shots here but that’s exactly it. After you let blondie over here shoot me, I go on my merry way to meet dear old Luci. So my mind won’t be here anymore but I still hold the power over your next decision.”
Taehyung scoffed when he heard the nickname and flicked his hair, this only provoked a giggle out of the girl. He was getting annoyed, no scratch that, he was annoyed and was starting to get angry. He brought his finger closer to the trigger. God, did he want her to stop talking and smiling like she wasn’t about to be bleeding out on this floor.
Yoongi on the other hand only got more intrigued. The way the girl spoke freely to him was new and unfamiliar. Only his inner circle could talk to him like that and even then he usually got irritated by it. This girl right here, who still hadn’t told him her fucking name, was a mystery to him and Yoongi didn’t like mysteries. He wasn’t here to play clues but still he sat there, on his velvet seat, trying to figure out the impeccable woman in front of him.
“Why do you think you have any power over any decision I make, huh?” He wasn’t any closer to getting information from her and it started to get at him. The night had been tiring enough and his patience was running extremely thin at this point.
“Cause when I’m here, bleeding out on this floor, you’re going to have to decide what to do with my body. Within the first hour you will need to think about it. Even if you don’t acknowledge it with words and just a head nod to Jung Hoseok over there. It’s still gonna be me you’re thinking about.”
As her little speech came to an end everyone gaped at her. Then she suddenly felt a gust of wind in front of her. She started breathing through her nose as soon as she felt fingers tightening around her throat.
“Tell me how you know that name,” Yoongi demanded in a cold and deadly voice that usually had everyone scrambling to their knees to do everything he pleases. But not the girl in front of him, no, she looked him straight in the eye and smirked.
As her little speech came to an end everyone gaped at her. Then she suddenly felt a gust of wind in front of her. She started breathing through her nose as soon as she felt fingers tightening around her throat.
“Tell me how you know that name”, Yoongi demanded in a cold and deadly voice that usually had everyone scrambling to their knees to do everything he pleases. But not the girl in front of him, no, she looked him straight in the eye and smirked.
Marco Polo is an Italian Korean gang that traveled through Asia and eventually settled in South-Korea. It is known for its multiple locations around the world with the three main ones in Sicily, Tokyo and now Seoul. Their name is of course inspired by Marco Polo, but also the radioactive chemical Polonium.
Their members are poisonous, according to Yoongi. Poisonous little fuckers who always appear when you least expect it. Marco Polo and Bangtan have been at each other’s throat ever since the Italian gang decided to stay in Seoul. After the last gang war ended in a truce he thought he’d seen the last of them but as Yoongi steps into club Downtown he will come to find out that that can’t be further from the truth.
—— Word Count: 800
“I could kill you right now, you know? So, I’d watch that pretty mouth of yours sweetheart”.
“Kay? The ability to kill me is nothing impressive and it’s also not the best threat, you wanna know why, handsome?”
She fluttered her eyelashes at him and tilted her head slightly to the right, becoming the perfect picture of innocence. God, the things Yoongi could do to destroy that he thought as he scoffed loudly.
“Yes, I would love to know how this does not look like a threat to you”, he said, smiling to himself as Taehyung placed the barrel of his gun against her temple.
“It’s cause my neighbors could kill me if they wanted to, the cute barista from Downtown could too, hell even I could kill myself. Believe it or not I tried to, but as you can see my attempts have been rather futile.”
She stared him right in the eyes and Yoongi felt himself get lost in those green pools of every emotion but the one he expected. He saw no fear, distress, surprise or even anger. Not even disgust. No, it was hard to get an idea of what was going on behind the windows to her soul. Did she even have one? Because having a soul meant having a mind, a mind that’s supposed to be able to think rationally. A mind that’s supposed to be giving signals to her body that she is in danger right now.
Still, all he saw was mischief, courage, calmness, even boredom. Boredom of all things. The girl had a fucking gun to her head, was tied down to a chair with nowhere to go and she had the audacity to look bored.
She took him out of his thoughts when he started seeing her mouth move again, tongue rolling around to create syllables to words no one had ever dared to speak to him.
“Killing doesn’t make you powerful, because anyone can do it. Even a little kid could take a knife in their hands and push it somewhere in to your body. It’s the ones that survive that knife you need to watch out for. As the brilliant Kelly Clarkson once said: ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’.”
“I don’t think you got the point though, sweetheart. All the power in this room right now belongs to me. I-”
“No, it doesn’t and no, I most certainly did get the point. I know that you call the shots here but that’s exactly it. After you let blondie over here shoot me, I go on my merry way to meet dear old Luci. So my mind won’t be here anymore but I still hold the power over your next decision.”
Taeyhung scoffed when he heard the nickname and flicked his hair, this only provoked a giggle out of the girl. He was getting annoyed, no scratch that, he was annoyed and was starting to get angry. He brought his finger closer to the trigger. God, did he want her to stop talking and smiling like she wasn’t about to be bleeding out on this floor.
Yoongi on the other hand only got more intrigued. The way the girl spoke freely to him was new and unfamiliar. Only his inner circle could talk to him like that and even then he usually got irritated by it. This girl right here, who still hadn’t told him her fucking name, was a mystery to him and Yoongi didn’t like mysteries. He wasn’t here to play clues but still he sat there, on his velvet seat, trying to figure out the impeccable woman in front of him.
“Why do you think you have any power over any decision I make, huh?”, he wasn’t any closer to getting information from her and it started to get at him. The night had been tiring enough and his patience was running extremely thin at this point.
“Cause when I’m here, bleeding out on this floor, you’re going to have to decide what to do with my body. Within the first hour you will need to think about it. Even if you don’t acknowledge it with words and just a head nod to Jung Hoseok over there. It’s still gonna be me you’re thinking about.”
As her little speech came to an end everyone gaped at her. Then she suddenly felt a gust of wind in front of her. She started breathing through her nose as soon as she felt fingers tightening around her throat.
“Tell me how you know that name”, Yoongi demanded in a cold and deadly voice that usually had everyone scrambling to their knees to do everything he pleases. But not the girl in front of him, no, she looked him straight in the eye and smirked.
