;Synopsis: Jung Hoseok - the Alpha wolf of his pack and far out of your league. As a rabbit shifter who still jumps around predators, you fantasise about your dangerous crush from a safe distance, particularly as he doesn’t like you. But what happens when he goes into heat and you’re the only one he’ll accept?
i finished this entire series in a day, and i was working for 8 hrs on top of that. this series is so good, it had everything in it and for me the drabble Grief is the perfect way to end it. i mean, yeah its a sad ending but its the natural way of life. highly recommended!!!
️summary: hoseok comes home in the middle of the night and it doesn’t take long for you to realize something is wrong. very, verywrong.
️pairing: reader x mafia!hoseok
️rating: mature, 18+
️genre: smut, mafia AU, guarded AU drabble though it can be read as a standalone story
️warnings: standard smut warnings, feelings because apparently i know no other way
️word count: 1.7K
️notes: i’ve had in mind to write a series of these drabbles for the guarded AU involving all of the original story characters. all returning home from the same terrifying night on the job, each processing the trauma a bit differently. as always, thank you for reading and please talk to me about it! of course, i couldn’t have written or posted this without the help and guidance of @ladyartemesia@btsarmy9593and@hobi-gifthank you so much ladies. also a big thank you to the very sweet @diorggukie who was so kind to answer my questions!
He comes to you in the dead of night.
The bed dips under his weight as he slips quietly beneath the covers, pressing the length of his body to yours. You start to rouse when he wraps himself around you – firm chest at your back, strong forearm banded over your waist – and you open your eyes to darkness, disoriented.
“Hoseok?” You call out to him, not quite awake and not quite asleep.
No answer.
“Baby?”
Still no answer.
The fear comes over you slowly, pulsing from your legs to your chest to your arms. Finally then to your brain, sounding the alarm inside your head as the pieces start to fall into place.
It took me awhile to reblog this all beacuse i felt so much for this little drabble. It felt like i was punched. First, Hoseok in Guarded is the type of person so in control of his emotions (we saw a lot of this in the main story), even during their confrontation you can feel his control over his emotions. Even during during the smut, if you recall it was Amsaja who pounced him in the elevator! Which is why i was totally floored by how Ana wrote Hoseok in this little (only in word count!), but i guess its warranted - the man almost died! For the 1st time, i saw a side of Hoseok in panic, not even afraid but terrified, almost out of his mind. Its almost grounding to think that hey, he’s human after all, Amsaja wondered the same thing in the main story, come to think of it!
Now to our Amsaja, a fierec woman who went so much truama and pain and got out from all of it so strong that Hoseok was her only weakness. A weakness you might think, but really it was Hoseok who made her brave and take chances, made her rethink of everything and put things in perspective. Ok, so maybe I am exaggerating, maybe Hoseok was just a portion of it but still. And it continues into this drabble, made her brave enough to think of things she never thought she needed in her life. I always thought Amsaja is a brave woman and now she is showing us that bravery is not the absence of fear but having fear and yet going through it all because she knows she can.
¼ of the amazing quartet, i will do the other 3 in due time! i love my queen, i live for her werewolf au, plus there’s always the right mix of angst, fluff, and smut that is always chefs kiss… i super like that although her male characters are so obviously strong they are super soft too then it comes to female leads… and and and theres sort of redemption always for characters like Yoongi in Third Wheeling & Jimin in Bird Cage.
below are my fave fics from this author, but please do go ahead and browse all her works as they are all equally beautiful.
I Waited for You - just because its a Kim Seokjin fic and he’s an alpha!!! maybe i have not explored tumblr properly but i have come across very few Alpha Seokjin stories.
Welcome to Seoul Land - again, just because its a Kim Namjoon fic and werewolf au. my queen did not disappoint! Namjoon is so soft, ima cry…
When it Rain it Pours - i was swooning, a soft Namjoon for a roommate turned lovers…
What’s up Doc - ooohhhhh! soft Yoongi and i love the part where they whispers while waiting for test results, its so cute i swear! but, don’t be fooled coz we are talking about the queen here so the smut is top tier as per usual.
Snowed In&Live, Laugh, Love - bestfriends to lovers stories featuring our eternal sunshine Hoseok. imagine Hoseok telling his girlfriend that his best friend means the most to him in the world!!! if that is not in love i dont know what.. but, Hoseok in our queens story is amazing.
Siver & Blue - alpha Taehyung with lots of smuts, what else can you ask for?
❁ Summary: Yn works for a very shady organization, her boss would not hesitate to destroy her if it is necessary, the mission is to scam one of Korea’s most powerful CEO, your plan is to seduce him of course, get the information required by your superiors and escape, if you fail you lose everything if you succeed you are set for life.
Little did you know, things do not always go as planned.
❁ Word count: 2,3k
❁ Genre: angst, fluff.
❁ Warnings: slight reference of intercourse.
❁AN: i know what are you thinking, why start a new series when i have 2 i haven’t updated yet? Sorry i couldn’t help myself, i hope you enjoy it my lovelies, plss write down comments to follow up.
You tuck your dress to side inside the car, automatically taking a look with your phone camera, your make up is intact, you needed to look more than perfect tonight, in fact, if something goes wrong you could lose everything that you had been working on the last two months plus having to face with your scary boss that would not hesitate to literally destroy you, so you needed to play your part well.
As you arrive to the hotel and the staff was quick to lead you to the event, soon a crowd of high-status people was surrounding you, everybody in their circle, even though it was a party nobody seemed to have their guard down, some with a bored look in their faces as they were sick of these kinds of events where everybody was pretending behind a friendly smile.
As you take a champagne glass from the waiter and sipped, your eyes were looking for the most important person in the entire room: Kim Namjoon.
“You see that man, right at my corner, he is Kim Namjoon” said your boss V sipping his cappuccino, his hands covered in golden rings, his casual but incredibly expensive clothes, the dead look in his eyes, his whole persona was from an outsider a classy man, but you that had work enough time with him, is still difficult getting accustomed to his intimidating aura.
You two were having brunch in a very fancy french place, in downtown Seoul.
Your gaze poses on the manly figure having a light meal with a bunch of middle aged men, he stood up dressed head to toe in designer suit, Rolex on his wrist, brown hair slicked down, he was handsome for sure.
“I thought that he would be forty year old with a decaying hairline” you commented pinching your dessert and having a taste.
“Me too” he looked at you “he is your mission” V grabbed a piece of your dessert and hummed savoring pastry.
“I don´t think it would be difficult, Mr. V” you glace again at man that was now lurking on his phone oblivious “It would take a month or two” you saw a little smirk on your boss lips.
“Well then, you better don´t disappoint” he called the waiter and paid the check.
You needed to catch Namjoon attention, after all you been studying this man for two months, every move you make is calculated and couldn’t allow yourself to slip up, V has made a significant investment in this mission, and you needed to pay your debt, you were interwind with a very dangerous organization and their business partners, if you couldn’t do the job they would probably got rid of you and replace you, but not everything is bad, if you do things right means that you are set for life, the bigger the risk the more rewarding award.
The bubbly persona that you had been studying was now on full display while you talk with some guests at the party, you haven’t even spotted Namjoon closest circle, so maybe chatting with some random people get you some information.
“And by the way, I know the reason why someone like Kim Namjoon had organized this business party disguised as a charity event” said the woman with immaculate appearance, crimson lips and big diamond earrings.
“Really?” you opened your eyes pretending innocence and surprise.
“oh yeah, I got some friends that occasionally invest on his company, they are generous so from time to time they go to lunch together, get invited to his parties, you know the drill…” she paused while you nodded pretending to understand “anyway, the point is that he was trying to pull investors for his new project or whatever and my friends recognized some not trustworthy people, apparently some new rich bitcoin coons, they warned him but he didn’t listened, I don’t know the details so don’t ask me, but he got scammed and lost face in front of everybody, now I was just sharing my theory with Jinyoung and Mathew” she said with a expectant smirk on her face.
“I’m intrigued” you lead her on.
“The excuse is the charity for funding schools in some god forsaken country, but all this flamboyant party is in reality a way to say that the scam situation hasn’t face him at all, like last month he’s on the news scammed written on big letters, but now he has all the money to spend in this lavish dinner and party” Jinyoung and Mathew agreed with her while you sipped your second glass of champagne.
“But the question here is all smoke and mirrors?” you asked rhetorically.
The three people nodded.
“I’m Jihyo, by the way” she offered her hand and you took it shaking it with a smile.
“I’m yn, is a pleasure to meet you” you responded, Mathew and Jinyoung also introduced themselves.
“What are you doing here, if you don’t mind me asking” said Jihyo.
Because you were training for this, getting into character you were not nervous at all, the trick to a good lie is to always take elements that are real and incorporate them into your story.
“To be honest, my boss sent me because he didn’t want to attend himself, if anyone asks, I’m instructed to said he on a wedding in Italy, he picked me for this event to represent him” you lied without hesitation.
“Where do you work?” asked Jinyoung.
“Do you know Park & Choi co.?” they all nodded “Then you are speaking with the assistant of their lobby’s departments president.” You added.
“Damn you must be good at your job, those people don’t let anybody that they don’t trust handle their business” said Jihyo impressed.
After chatting for some minutes, you excused yourself to the bathroom to refocus on your mission, retouching your lipstick in the bathroom two supermodel like girls entered, one clearly upset.
“Why he is so mean to me? I don’t understand!” said the girl whining.
“He is playing games is Park Jimin afterall, like you were supposed to enjoy the short time he gave you his attention” said her brunette friend.
You recognized that name, Park Jimin, one of Namjoon’s biggest competitors, also a womanizer asshole.
“I know Park Jimin” you said to them, catching their attention.
“Do you?” replied a little too aggressive the heartbroken girl.
“Yeah my friend was as devasted as you are right now”
“What did you say?!”
“Dahyun! Excuse her, I’ve been trying to warned her to lower her expectations but she didn’t listen” said the other girl.
“It’s ok, he is trash though” you added, both girls chuckled agreeing with you.
“Yeah, to be honest I wasn’t even supposed to be with him” said the girl named Dahyun “Like my brother hates him and everything” she spoke as she was about to cry.
Suddenly you recognize the girl, as Namjoon’s sister, you knew that she was a spoiled brat that knew no better that partying and spending money on unnecessary expensive stuff, the other girl must be her friend.
“You should had listened to Namjoon oppa, he was right about him” her friend told her, Dahyun rolled her eyes.
“You are so annoying, Nayeon, you always defend him, I know you are in love with him or whatever but be on my side sometimes!”
You raised an eyebrow, interesting, now you have competition, well she was pretty and all, but you would not take any chances to get the job done.
“Wait a minute you are mister Kim’s sister, right?” you asked her pretending surprise, she nodded. “Miss Kim, it’s an honour, I’m Kang Yn”
“Don’t get all formal all of the sudden” she said to you “I can imagine you are as bored as I am, and if you want me to introduce you to my brother, don’t, he is a sexist bastard and doesn’t do business with women” your smile slightly deflated at the fully composed Dahyun.
“He is not sexist, Namjoon oppa is just traditional!” defended Nayeon
“whatever” Dahyun replied to her friend “if you can excuse us” she said while walking off the restroom with her friend Nayeon following after.
You had to make the connection with Namjoon as soon as possible, you didn’t feel good about his sister’s best friend being around him, she was like a lost puppy, pathetic.
Maybe a cigarette could make things better.
On the balcony you pull out of your purse a cig just to curse out loud because you didn’t bring the lighter.
“Need some light?” a soft but manly voice asked behind you, you turn over and before your eyes was Park Jimin, the devil himself.
“Yes, please” you put the cigarette in your mouth and he light it on for you not losing the eye contact, you inhaled the smoke and then exhaled it feeling more relaxed. “Thanks…”
“Jimin, Park Jimin” he said with a smile.
“Oh so you are THE Park Jimin” you replied taking another smoke.
“so you heard of me” he stated playful little smile still on.
“Well some girls where talking shit on the bathroom” you teased, the man was attractive for sure.
“Let me guess, one is a brunette and the other is a black-haired girl” he asserted and you nodded. “That’s what I thought”
“You ex is a little upset let me tell you” you said to him, he laughed at your statement.
“Dahyun is not my ex, she doesn’t have maturity level enough to involve herself in a relationship”
“So you are a heartbreaker?” smiled at him smoking once again your cigarette.
“Not with you, may I have your number?” he said confident, it would hurt to say no to a very handsome multimillionaire, but it was something you had to do, because your life was on the line.
“I’m sorry, mister Park, I’m compromised with someone else” you looked at him in the eye.
“May I have your name?” he said with the same confidence that you had to smile almost flustered.
“My name is Kang yn”
“My pleasure, miss Kang” he said kissing your hand “And by the way before you go, if there is somebody that is heartbroken, that person must be me”
“And why is that?” you asked expecting another flirting line
“Mister Kim Namjoon himself, the host of this party, it’s about to marry my girlfriend, isn’t that ironic?”
You had to make seam as you didn’t care, but that was definitely something you were not expecting.
“Ironic?”
“I may have fooled around with his little sister, but he got with the only person I only care about”
“For what it was said to me, mister Kim didn’t have a formal relationship nor did he want one”
And it was true, you did well your research, what is this marriage thing all of the sudden.
“Because he is a business man, first, human second, the only thing that matters to him is money, for him it’s game getting with Jisoo and I don’t know why I’m telling you this, I’m sorry” he apologized lowering his gaze.
“You needed to tell someone that, Mr. Park, I hope you enjoy the rest of the night” you said to him turning around just to hear his voice again.
“Please call me, Jimin” he told you confident smile again on his face “and I hope to see you again” you nodded while walking away.
As soon as you saw the waiter with a tray full of champagne glasses, you chugged discretely three other glasses of the golden liquid, leaving you a little tipsy.
That changed the course of your plans, you studied the man, yes, his job was his whole life, but he was man after all, and a man has necessities, Namjoon wasn’t the exception, he always had a woman’s company maybe not every day but at least once a week, so when did he had time to engage to somebody, it simply can’t be.
The universe must hear your thoughts because there it was, Kim Namjoon with an elegant and beautiful woman under his arm, as you saw the shooting daggers that Park Jimin was sending with his eyes to them, you assumed he was with Jisoo.
What to do?
Maybe you should plan another time to meet him, like you didn’t have to marry him or anything just maintain a low key relationship, not necessarily romantic, to get close to all the financial info that you could get your hands on.
Feeling defeated and miscalculating some steps you almost fell to the ground but a pair of strong arms save you from your fall.
“Watch out, miss” his voice was warm, as you turned around to encounter a worried expression looking back at you.
“I’m sorry, sir, are you okay? You asked a little embarrassed.
“It is me that it has to ask you that question” he replied not letting your hands go until you got back your balance.
“I’m more than fine, just tripped with something, but thank you for helping me”
“I’m grateful that i was near to help, miss…?”
“Kang yn” you responded, today you had introduced yourself more that you were accustomed.
“You look beautiful today, miss yn” he took your hand and kissed it.
“Thank you…”
“Call me Hoseok” he said to you.
“Hoseok”
“My name sounds a thousand times better when you say it” he assured you with a smile.
“What a coincidence, mine too”
Hours and a few drinks later, Hoseok was thrusting inside of you making you moan, you were on his suite on this same hotel with a nice view, he couldn’t help himself when you took off your dress, leaving marks on your neck and sucking your breast.
It was a last minute thing, but it worked out.
You could not make a move that was not deeply calculated, sleeping with Hoseok was a full made decision.
But what he has to do in this whole thing, you ask.
Well, he is Namjoon best friend and business partner and your next best chance to keep your plan going.
Hoseok was your access to Namjoon, and you were not going to waste this opportunity.
Note: This is very angsty, mentions of death and coping
———
His eyes open. He feels something weighing down on him, stopping him from moving. He stares at the ceiling, then looks over at the bedroom window, there’s no sunlight pouring through the curtain. He cant move his neck, shifting only his eyes over to the clock on the bedside table. The blue digital numbers reading 2:30 AM. Hoseok closes his eyes, hoping that he’ll just drift off to sleep again.
“Hobi? Where are you?”
Hoseok’s eyes snap open at the sound of your voice coming from somewhere downstairs. His eyes move to the bedroom door, his chest swelling with excitement. Finally, you’re home. He knew that you would come back. He tries to grip onto the bedsheets on either side of him to lift himself up, but no matter how much the muscles in his arms and hands tense, he can’t close his fist. He can’t move, like cement has been poured through his veins. He hears what sounds like your keys being set down, then hears you moving around as if searching for him. “Hobi?”
Hoseok tries desperately to yell out for you, but he can’t open his mouth. Instead he lays there with his chest heaving and his lips quivering, only managing small whimpers between his pursed lips. The footsteps start to get closer, and Hoseok hopes that you’ll find him and help him. Hoseok’s breath gets faster and heavier as he tries again to sit up, the footsteps arrive at the door and the knob slowly starts to turn. Hoseok is suddenly torn from his trance, his skin stings as if someone has thrown cold water onto him. He quickly sits upright, gasping for air and taking only a second to collect himself before he runs towards the closed bedroom door. He throws it open, hoping to see you on the other side, but instead he is faced with the empty hallway. His chest rises and falls as he stands there a bit longer, the darkness staring back and silently mocking him. Then he slowly starts to step backwards, until his thighs hit the bed and he falls back onto it. He spends the rest of the night with his head in his hands.
—–
“It happened again.” Hoseok says as he pulls out one of your jewelry boxes from the dresser, brushing off the thin layer of dust that has began to form. He hadn’t touched your things since you’d passed away.
“The sleep paralysis?” Yoongi’s voice asks from the other end of the phone.
“Yes.” Hoseok rubs his eyes, which are tired and swollen from multiple restless nights like the prior one.
“I think we should go see a doctor if they don’t stop. Maybe some sleeping meds will help.” Yoongi suggests. Hoseok nods as he examines the jewelry box, he’s been going through the things you left behind after the members suggested that getting rid of some of the clutter would help him be at peace of mind. Instead, he had found himself getting lost in the memory of every object. He opened the box and let out a sound of surprise when a piece of paper fell out, slipping past him and settling on the ground. He picked it up as Yoongi asked what he found on the other side of the line. Hoseok unfolded the paper, and the first line he read was “To My Hobi,” written neatly in your handwriting at the top of the page. He could hear your voice clearly in his head as he read it again, closing his eyes briefly to collect himself.
“I’ll call you back, Yoongi.” He didn’t wait for a reply as he hung up and continued to read the letter.
To My Hobi,
Hey, it’s me, Y/N. I am writing this letter as a precaution, because I do not seem to be getting better. I feel weaker each day, and spend more time asleep than awake. This was just supposed to be a cold. It wasn’t supposed to be this bad. I won’t tell you that I wrote this letter, because I know that it would hurt you that I am thinking like this. I am not saying that I will die, but I am just being prepared. I know that if you need to, you will find this letter.
If you are reading this it means that I have already passed. I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling or how you are taking this, since it hurts to picture such a beautiful soul like you having to deal with such a terrible situation. I am sorry to part with you like this, I am sorry that I left before you. But I want you to know, how much I truly love you. You embodied the word perfection and basked in all of its glory, and not a day goes by that I do not call myself lucky to be able to call you my husband. It is okay to be sad, it is okay to cry, it is okay to miss me. But please promise me that you will learn how to smile again. Please promise me that you will continue to live, and that you will not be afraid to love again. You are too great of person for me to not let go. Other people deserve to know Jung Hoseok, and other people deserve to feel the way you made me feel. Please continue to share your gift and your smile, with the world. You were my hope and sunshine, even in these last painful days. But at least now you will remember me as I was, and I will live forever in your house of memories. I love you. I will always love you. So please, smile for me.
Sincerely, Y/N
The paper was stained, it looked as if a tear had dried on it before. And now there was a fresh tear falling directly next to it, the paper shaking slightly in Hoseok’s hands. He set the paper down and settled his back against the dresser as he allowed himself to cry, letting his grief out in loud sobs. Perhaps he had been doing this all wrong. He could not forget you, no matter how hard he tried. Which is what he had been trying to do, because he thought that if he could erase all the feelings you’d given him, the pain would become enough to bare. But instead of treating you like a memory he wanted to forget, he should have treated you as a cherished recollection in his heart. For you, he’d build a palace in his house of memories. After he had calmed down enough, with his eyes puffy and his nose bright red, he called Yoongi back. He told him everything, and later that night, Hoseok went out to eat with the members for the first time since you’d passed away. Hoseok finally smiled again, and laughed. That night was the first night that he finally slept through.
Pairing:Sister!Reader + Kim brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader; some POV shifts on chapters/drabbles
Rating: M ()
Genre:Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; exes to ?; angst; smut; fluff
Warnings (more to be written in individual chapter updates): angst with a capital A; character illness and death; family issues; bickering; discussions of menstrual cycle; heavy pining; FWB; unrequited love; mentions of infidelity; reproductive challenges; toxic relationships; missed opportunities; some fluff; some smut
Teaser word count:1,476K
Summary:Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.
A/N:I’ve had this idea brewing for months now and it’s probably going to be one of my more ambitious AUs–more challenging than Scale, IMO. Four separate stories, converging into one. There’s going to be a LOT of angst, maybe some comedy…but definitely a lot of angst. If you’ve read my fics, you’ll know that I’m mostly inspired or prompted by movies or shows I’ve seen. This particular one has been inspired by This is Where I Leave You (2014). I’ve been thinking about a Kim Line fic for a while and I thought that this would be a perfect way to finally bring it to life!
Intro chapters will be posted as part of @btswritingcafe’s Specialty Coffee event.
@internetjunkdrawer – I know we’ve always joked about this series side-eyeing me as I kept working on other prompts instead of this. Now, I have no excuse!
Release date: June 2022
Namjoon is awakened by loud thumps and muffled conversations coming from above him. He feels around the nightstand for his watch. It was a makeshift nightstand–one that he assembled using an old dining chair and a desk lamp that he found in the basement–which was where your mom put him since all of the bedrooms in the house were taken.
He groans. It was just a little past 8:15 in the morning. Great. As if he didn’t just fall asleep less than three hours ago. He stretches the crick in his neck–this pull-out couch was not the most comfortable but at least he had the whole basement to himself. Alone. With his thoughts.
After a quick shower, he makes his way up the creaky steps and down the hall to the dining room, where everyone else was already seated and in the middle of a lively conversation.
“Well, good morning to you, sleepyhead!” Your mom beams at him from the head of the table. Her hair was all done up with a full face of makeup as if she were headed to a red carpet premiere.
“C’mon, darling, we saved you a spot,” she said loudly as the whole table continued their banter.
Namjoon walks over to take the open seat next to you. Your oldest brother, Jin hands over the plate of bacon to him, followed by a plate of eggs, offered by your younger brother Taehyung.
You poured him a glass of orange juice before you continued your story.
“Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! So, I was around 10 and babysitting Tae—and uh, I realized that I had just gotten my period for the first time—which, I had no idea that was what it was then. And what do you know, dad walks into the room and sees blood on my clothes and flies into a panic.”
“Wait, so where was your mom in all this?” Jin’s wife, Yoojung, remarks.
Your mom smiled warmly. “I was in a remote location for ‘Valley of the Beast’ and we were filming some underwater scenes so they couldn’t really reach me,” she explains.
“Oh…gosh, I remember now. I remember when I biked past those news vans when the movie came out. It was pretty exciting,” she remarked.
“Right,” you continued. “So dad grabs me and Tae—throws us in the backseat of the car and he’s zooming past stop signs to get me to the hospital,” you begin to laugh.
“You want some more syrup for your waffles, love?” Jin asks her quietly.
She hesitates. “I really shouldn’t. The doctor says that too much sugar might not be good,” she replies softly.
He nods, putting the syrup dispenser back on the table, then leaning over to kiss her hair. She looks at him and smiles.
You see their sweet exchange out of the corner of your eye, but you continue your story without missing a beat. “So then he gets pulled over by Officer Cheong! And he goes, ‘Mr. Kim, do you know how fast you were going?’ And then dad practically yells at him like, ‘You don’t understand! My daughter is hemorrhaging! I need to get her to the emergency room!’ So Officer Cheong takes a look at me and Taehyungie in the backseat and checks to make sure that we were okay…but dad wouldn’t stop freaking out.”
Taehyung laughs. “That was a very exciting afternoon,” he says between spoonfuls of eggs.
Everyone around the table laughs because your dad can be so calm and collected especially during a busy night at the restaurant. And yet, at the faintest sight of blood or any medical emergency, all logic goes out the door.
Thankfully, Officer Cheong has three daughters and after concluding that you were not in any physical distress, he explains the situation to your dad and offers to provide a police escort to the nearest pharmacy to help him buy sanitary pads. The lady at the checkout counter was nice enough to tell you what to do.
Jin jumps in and connects the topic about a previous experience when he broke his fingers during a baseball game and his dad nearly fainted while he watched the doctor reset his digits in the emergency room.
Namjoon’s phone buzzes. He takes it out of his pocket to see ‘Victoria’ on the caller ID. He promptly rejects it.
“It’s your wife, why don’t you answer it?” You mumble at him.
“Why don’t you share another story about your cycle, YN?” He counters.
“What about you, Namjoon-ah?” Your mom says.
“Hm?”
“What’s your favorite memory of dad?”
“Uh…can we just circle back? Maybe Taehyung-ah can go next,” Namjoon says as he takes a bite of his bacon.
“I already went. Mine was pretty epic,” Taehyung replies.
He chuckles nervously. “How can I possibly follow YN’s story?”
“Oh, c’mon, Namjoon. Don’t you have any good memories of him?” Jin asks.
He tries to wave everyone off. “Sorry, guys. My mind’s just blanking out this morning. Didn’t sleep much last night.”
“You know, Joon, if you have any unresolved issues with your dad, now’s the time to get it all out,” your mom urges.
“Mom, why would you automatically assume that I have issues with dad? Maybe I just really can’t remember anything at the moment,” Namjoon answers with a slight hint of irritation.
Before she could argue, the doorbell rings and she excuses herself to answer it.
“Oooh! Wait, I’ve got another,” Taehyung volunteers excitedly. “So—I’m in the garage, searching for my beyblades in dad’s toolbox,” he trails off.
That took a load off Namjoon’s shoulders.
The conversation continues for a few more minutes until a chirping sound goes off.
Yoojung is slightly startled before looking at her phone to silence it. She clears her throat then gives her husband a look. “Uh, Jin?” She whispers, lightly tapping on his leg.
He sighs and slouches his shoulders slightly. “Now? Really?”
“Can’t do it by myself,” she mutters under her breath before she excuses herself and gets up from the table. After she puts her dish in the sink she heads down to the hallway and up the stairs to their bedroom.
“What’s up?” Namjoon asks.
Jin gets up from his seat begrudgingly and takes his own dish to the sink. “I have to have sex,” he announces blandly.
Taehyung snorts. “Jin-hyung, sex is supposed to be fun!”
“Yeah, well, not when it’s on a schedule.” He says before he trudged down the hallway and upstairs to his waiting wife.
“Well, whatever you do, keep it down so you don’t wake dad up,” Namjoon jokes.
“Very funny, Namjoon-ah,” Jin yells sarcastically from the landing.
The dining room windows have a full view of the driveway across the street.
Namjoon glances at you to find you watching the neighbor walk out of the front door towards his car.
“Enjoying the view?” He whispers in your ear.
“Shut up,” you said, turning your attention back to your plate of pancakes.
“We should ask him if he wants to stop by here and grab a bite before heading to work,” he teases.
“I’m sure Hobi can afford to get his own breakfast anywhere,” you snarked.
“I remember when I used to see him sneak out of your room before breakfast,” Namjoon says under his breath before snickering.
His body jerks, nearly knocking the table over when you pinch him on this thigh. Taehyung gives you both a quizzical look until your mom’s voice bellows down the hallway.
“Taehyung! Look who’s here,” your mom says as she walks into the dining room with company.
“Eunhae?” Taehyung looks like he’s just seen a ghost. She was the last person he expected to show up at your childhood home.
“She introduced herself and said she was your friend. I was just having a lovely conversation with her. She said she’d heard about dad and wanted to pay her respects. Isn’t that sweet?”
You cleared your throat, prompting your younger brother to introduce his ‘friend’ to everyone.
“Uh—Namjoon-hyung, YN-noona, this is Eunhae. She’s a good friend from the city.” He says nervously.
She smiles and bows politely to everyone in the room. “Jin-hyung is uhm, in the middle of something but, I can introduce you later,” he utters before giving you an uncomfortable look.
You already knew about Eunhae though you were equally surprised to see that she actually came out to your hometown, given your past conversations with Taehyung.
He immediately dotes on her, offering her breakfast as she takes her seat next to him.
Namjoon doesn’t suspect a thing and is distracted by rejecting yet another call from Victoria.
This was your family. You loved them with all your heart. However, in the rare cases that you all got together under one roof, it always spelled chaos. But it was chaos you’d choose over any picture-perfect life.
Chapter 1: Seokjin◥
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‘walk out that door,’ he pauses, visibly bubbling with anger. the silence seems to stretch from a few seconds until forever. ‘and we’re through.’
however, he’s not the only one who’s had enough.
you’re dressed in tight, ripped jeans and a tiny top. in your hand you hold a bottle of alcohol and in the other, your purse and phone. you’re heading out to go and meet your friend at a nearby nightclub.
‘you know what, hoseok? fuck you.’ your gaze burns with venom as you glare at him. ‘you don’t control me, and you never fucking will.’
‘i’m just trying-‘ he takes a step towards you, and you interrupt.
‘take one more goddamn step and i swear to you, i will scream so loudly that even your fucking whore friend over in new york will hear me.’
‘i’m trying to keep you safe! have you seen the kidnappings recently? you’re fucking crazy to want to go out tonight, this late?’ his voice increases in volume, but obediently, he doesn’t move. ‘and iswear,i don’t know who you’re talking about! you know i would never cheat, baby-‘
‘don’t fucking ‘baby’ me. i don’t want you to call me by the same name you call her.’
‘who the fuck are you talking about? i don’t understand where you got this idea from-‘
‘don’t lie to me, junghoseok.sooin told me, she saw the messages, she saw her name in your phone-‘
‘and you trust her over me? did you ever trust me at all?’
all is quiet.
you adjust your top strap and go to head out of the door.
‘you’re going to regret this, y/n. please.’ your head whips round to see his face as you hear his voice soften. ‘don’t do this to us. i…i love you.’
all you can think about is the way he must sound the exact same when he says those words to her.
you turn on your heel, and slam the door behind you.
you’re wrong, your think as you quickly stride down the pavement in your heels. you’re fucking dumb, and i’m not gonna regret this, because why would i regret leaving someone who cheats?
little did you know, though.
little did you know that sooin, the friend you had trusted over the boy you thought you would end up marrying, had always been jealous.
little did you know, she’d been trying to break the two of you apart from the beginning.
hoseok never cheated on you.
and you yelled at him, and said horrible things, and all the while he just had to stand and listen to you spew utter nonsense while clenching his fists, because he loved you too much to ever lay a finger on you.
you sit on the bathroom floor, weeping, your voice too hoarse from crying to even whisper his name and beg for him to forgive you.
➭ “You’ve always stayed far away from the Kingsnakes, the coldblooded gang that runs the dark heart of your city. That is until your life collides with the intriguing and dangerous Jung Hoseok.”
** warnings: Graphic descriptions of injuries and violence, dark themes, gang activity, explicit drug references, mentions of physical abuse, mentions of death. and bathtub sex **
Sleep feels impossible tonight.
Every muscle in Hoseok’s body is locked in place, his eyes stare listlessly into the darkness of his room. No matter what he does, no matter how many times he swears under his breath and rolls over onto one side, he can’t fall asleep.
His mind is swirling with thoughts, thoughts that are unwanted and painful, thoughts infused with the question mark of what could’ve been, thoughts that start and end with your name on the tip of his tongue.
Hoseok has never been the type of person to reminisce on the past, largely due to his belief that reflection is unnecessary. You can’t turn back time and change the past, so why bother dwelling on it? But now, when the evening is fading into dawn, and the sky is awash with the milky blue of breaking daylight, Hoseok silently confesses that he chooses to ignore the past because it’s easier than confronting it.
The past is painful. Hoseok knows this better than anybody. He’s trained his mind to not think back on particular turning points of his life, he’s sharpened the skill of actively not remembering darker times. But ever since you came into his world, he can’t ignore his past anymore. Everything that he tried so hard to bury deep is rising to the surface.
Hoseok clutches the sheets in his hands and lets out another soft, “Fuck”. It does little to ease his racing thoughts. He thinks about you, how your eyes flash with hurt when he says things to you that are particularly cold and cruel. He thinks about how your voice sound when it whispers his name, the nape of your neck and the curve of your waist, the look of shock that painted over your features when he pressed his lips to yours for the first time.
“Stop it,” Hoseok mutters into the darkness, his voice harsh. Stop thinking about her.
Hoseok curses himself for his total lack of foresight, for his inability to see when something is good before it’s too late. He thinks he’s so cunning, so clever, when in reality he can’t see anything at all. He didn’t see you coming into his life, he didn’t see you changing his life, and he didn’t see you walking out of his life- until of course, it was too late.
Am I a bad person? The thought creeps in, and Hoseok sighs. He doesn’t know anymore. For a long time, he had just accepted that he was a bad person. Hoseok can’t recall all the times he’s done fucked up things, hurt people, received a sick sense of numbing satisfaction from affirming that yes, He had never considered the possibility that he was redeemable, that he may not be an intrinsically bad person. Until you.
Hoseok leans back on his bedframe, slumping forward until his head is in his hands. This hurts. This really, really hurts. It hurts, the way you eased into his heart with killer precision. He doesn’t know how to get you out. He doesn’t want to get you out.
Hoseok lifts his head and absently fumbles on his nightstand table for the pack of cigarettes he keeps there, his fingers catching on the box. He hesitates, before he finally throws the box, hard, across the room. A dramatic gesture perhaps, but Hoseok couldn’t give less of a fuck right now. Cigarettes spill out onto his bedroom floor and he swears again.
He looks at the clock, it reads 5:03AM. It’s 5AM, and he’s here, head in his hands, thinking about a woman who makes him feel a heady kind of hopefulness, a woman who taught him that there may be more to life than living fast and dying young.
Hoseok squeezes his eyes shut and weakly tells himself to stop being such a weak motherfucking bitch, that you have left his life and it’s for the better, that you’re just another memory to lock away and forget about.
He lies awake in bed until daylight breaks over the horizon.
Twenty years ago, on a Friday evening in the middle of December, Jung Hoseok fell in love with dancing.
It was a Friday, because Friday was always the day that his Mum liked to go grocery shopping. Every Friday was like clockwork – Hoseok trailing his mother around the store while she slowly, carefully picked out boxes and cans. It was always Friday, because Hoseok’s father stayed out on Friday nights, stumbling in the house late into the evening with the sharp smell of alcohol plumed around him like smoke.
It was during October, because the air was brisk when Hoseok slipped away from his mother and walked out of the store. It had felt like a thin film of ice was going to settle over his skin if he stayed outside for too long.
Hoseok was certain he’d always be able to remember it. The cold that brushed over his skin, the quiet hum of the store doors closing behind him, and there – on the concrete in front of the store, a group of guys.
They had a battered portable radio that was perched on the hood of an equally battered car, the crackly weak bass of a hip hop song filtered into the air. The group of guys were joking around, pushing each other and filling the beats of the song with their light, cloying jabs and insults – and they were dancing.
Hoseok had stared at them with wide eyes. Each movement they made was strong and bold, and they were entirely in control of their bodies. One guy, the one in the middle with a cap jammed over his hair and trackpants about two sizes too big for him, had a smile that he was struggling to contain. He was a man who was in control of each of his movements, a firm grip on the rhythm that coursed through body, controlled over everything except the smile that teased at his features.
Hoseok’s breath was coming out in puffs of cold into the night air and he wondered, right then and there, if he could be like that one day.
It was one of those, right time, right place sort of situations. The kind of scenario where everything pieces together so exactly, that it can only be due to a stroke of luck, a twist of destiny. A red thread of fate.
Hoseok was a few days from turning sixteen when he met Z.
His father had passed away the month prior. Hoseok had stood at his father’s funeral just last weekend, dressed in a rented suit that smelled like sweat and felt starchy on his skin, watching as people he had never met before shuffled through with tears dotted on their cheeks. Hoseok had looked up at the framed photo of his father that people were crying over, and he wondered what exactly they were crying for.
You’re nothing. His father’s voice floated into his thoughts. Hoseok squeezed his eyes shut, thinking about all the times his father had called him a loser, a coward, a ‘fucking pussy’, until finally just landing on the words that Hoseok had grown accustomed to hearing – ‘You’re nothing, Hoseok.’
Hoseok thought back to all the times he had seen his mother crying in the kitchen early in the morning when she thought the house was asleep, her hands bent in front of her, praying. Hoseok had always felt so tiny and powerless every time he heard his mother cry, every time his father’s fist went crunching into his cheek, every time the words You’re nothing echoed through his thoughts.
Hoseok’s eyes had fluttered open and a few funeral-goers stared at him, eyes sympathetic and pitying. His mother, standing beside him, was crying – his baby sister in her arms. Hoseok’s father was gone, but the pressure he put on the family remained. He was gone, but all these people were still crying. Hoseok looked at the tears tracking down everyone’s faces, at the photo of his father perched high in the funeral hall.
He didn’t cry.
It was that memory that lingered in Hoseok’s mind when Sungmin approached him after school and asked him if he was free to talk. He was the same age as Hoseok, they were in the same Geometry class, yet Hoseok had never exchanged more than two words with him.
Sungmin was something of a mystery, no one knew much about him. What Hoseok did know, however, was that Sungmin was always wearing a leather jacket that was two sizes too big for him, Sungmin was part of some newly established gang, and that Sungmin, for some reason, was standing on front of him now wanting to ‘talk’.
Sungmin was the same age as Hoseok but he felt older. He had an air of confidence about him, and he dug into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it. He offered it to Hoseok, and even though Hoseok had never so much as touched a cigarette in his life- he took it.
He held it gingerly in his fingers and took a drag, coughing at the feeling of smoke in his lungs. Sungmin just watched on, an amused smile on his face.
“Will you teach me how to breakdance?”
Hoseok had been momentarily surprised. Of all the questions he had been anticipating, it hadn’t been that one. What surprised him the most though, was how quickly he answered back, his response.
“Okay.”
Sungmin was a slow learner. He was a clumsy dancer. He also, surprisingly enough, evolved from classmate to friend.
Hoseok learned a lot about Sungmin when they met up after school. He learned that Sungmin wanted to learn how to dance because his girlfriend, Lorna, had mentioned she liked breakdancers. He learned that Sungmin had a short fuse and a tendency to spew filthy swear words when he couldn’t get a move right.
He learned that Sungmin’s chest puffed out in pride whenever he talked about his friends, the gang that he was currently being initiated into. ‘The Kingsnakes,’ Sungmin would say, struggling to keep a cool expression on his face, ‘That’s our name, by the way.’
Hoseok had learned that Sungmin, when he found something unbearably funny, slapped his hand over his mouth and laughed silently, shoulders shaking up and down.
He wasn’t sure when it happened, but it did – somewhere along the way he had become friends with the other boy. It was a realization he had when he was leaning against the wall of the warehouse one school night with Sungmin, smoking cigarettes and discussing whether it was worth staying in school, or dropping out.
“You never smoke them properly.” Sungmin had complained, pointing his cigarette butt at Hoseok accusingly. “You’ve gotta inhale. Yoongi taught me that.”
Hoseok wrinkled his nose, watching as the other boy took a deep drag, exhaling a mouthful of smoke with exaggerated confidence.
“Yoongi?”
Sungmin hummed in response. “Yep. He’s the leader of the Kingsnakes.”
Hoseok’s mouth opened into a small ‘o’. He stared at the cigarette in his hands, the glowing embers falling to the ground.
“Sungmin, will you introduce me to him? Yoongi, I mean.”
“Z,” Sungmin corrected. Hoseok looked up questioningly and Sungmin shrugged.
“Call me Z. It’s a new nickname I’m trying.”
“Loser.” Hoseok rolled his eyes and Sungmin grinned, staring at his friend thoughtfully.
Hoseok nodded, feeling a thrill start in his spine. He didn’t know why he was asking to meet Yoongi, he didn’t know why he was here with Sungmin, all he did know was that he felt good. He felt like he belonged, like he wasn’t a kid anymore, like he was taking charge of his life.
He picked up the cigarette and inhaled properly. It burned in his lungs and it made his head spin, he fought the urge to cough as he exhaled all the smoke. It cloaked his vision and somewhere through the haze, he heard the almost silent strains of Sungmin’s laughter.
Min Yoongi was not what Hoseok had expected. He had hair that was dyed an unnatural shade of ice blue, and eyes that gazed him up and down suspiciously upon first glance.
“Who’s this?”
Yoongi didn’t direct the question to him, glancing over instead at Z who was standing by Hoseok’s side.
“My friend. Wanted to meet you.”
And just like that, Yoongi’s eyes were back on him. Hoseok squirmed uncomfortably.
“Why did you want to meet me?”
Hoseok’s voice was pitchy, it gave away his nerves as he spoke.
“I was wondering if I could hang around with you guys.”
Yoongi just raised an eyebrow.
“…You guys?”
Hoseok’s face flushed and he nodded. “The… the Kingsnakes.”
For a long moment, Yoongi just stared at Hoseok, a perplexed expression on his face before he sighed.
“Yeah, whatever. You can hang round with us if you want.” Yoongi’s voice was bored, and Hoseok nodded eagerly.
“But if you’re going to do that, you need to understand that there’s nothing more important to me than loyalty. Whether you’re going to hang round for a little bit or longer, at the end of the day, all I ask for, and all I expect, is loyalty. Whatever you see, whatever goes down – it’s between us and us only. Understood?” He spoke slowly, still with that bored tone- but Hoseok didn’t miss the steeliness in his words.
“Yeah, I… I understand.”
He must have passed whatever test Yoongi was giving because the older boy relaxed, but kept eyeing him curiously.
“So, why do you want in with the Kingsnakes, kid? You want money, drugs, friends? What is it?”
Hoseok sensed Sungmin’s eyes on him too, and he shrugged.
“I just don’t want to feel like I’m nothing.” He said honestly, to which Yoongi just let out a soft hum in response.
After that, Hoseok’s life became something like a whirlwind of firsts.
The first kiss, exchanged at a Kingsnake party with some girl from another school who had crawled into his lap and kissed him.
The first time he had done drugs, a tiny bump of cocaine that he snorted while wedged between Yoongi and a few of the other members at a party.
The first time he skipped class, spending the day hanging around with some of the guys and getting high, enjoying it so much that he eventually stopped going to class altogether.
The first time he fucked a girl, thrusting into her, his body using hers, feeling invincible.
The first time Yoongi asked him to help out, to keep watch for a drug deal. That had also been the first time Yoongi had slapped his shoulder and grinned at him, telling him he was alright.
The first time Hoseok was handed an envelope stuffed with bills, feeling a rush of excitement because that money was his, he had earned it. It was the first time Hoseok felt secure, powerful, like maybe he had someplace where he belonged.
The first time a needle touched his skin, inking a snake onto his wrist. The first time his mother saw the tattoo and teared up, asking Hoseok if he was safe.
The first time he and a few of the guys beat up another guy for ratting on them. The first time he punched someone’s jaw. The first time he saw Z’s eyes flash with simmering lust, punching until Yoongi told him in a sharp tone, Enough.
The first time Hoseok felt uncertainty about his decision to join the Kingsnakes. The first time he questioned whether he had made the right choices, whether his past was doomed to repeat itself.
“Yoongi likes you.” Z muttered to him on the night of his eighteenth birthday. “He’s always picking you to be his backup him in deals and shit.”
The two had slipped outside for a cigarette, standing shoulder by shoulder in the brisk air. Lorna, Z’s girlfriend, had joined them at first before she too slipped back inside, complaining about the cold weather.
“Yoongi?” Hoseok echoed. Z just grunted. Hoseok cocked his head to the side, considered those words.
“You’re probably next in line to run the group, at this point.” Z added.
Hoseok had turned to his friend, whose face was lit only by the red embers. Ash fell to the ground and Hoseok shrugged in response. He felt good, his body was buzzed, he felt like something, like hewas something. He thought back on the tiny, frightened kid he used to be and a wry smile tugged on his lips.
“Nah. That’s all you, Sungmin.”
Z let out a loud scoff, reaching over and giving Hoseok a feeble punch. “You loser.” He laughed. “Come on, let’s go inside. It’s fucking freezing.”
A few weeks later, Hoseok stood outside Yoongi’s house, shivering and muttering complaints under his breath.
“Stupid motherfucking Min Yoongi asks me to drop something off and then doesn’t even answer the door,” Hoseok mumbled, walking down the driveway. “Fuck, it’s cold.” He paused once he got to his bike, sighing in annoyance as he turned around, walking directly past the front door and weaving his way through the gate.
He had been to Yoongi’s house several times, and when he got to the back door, it was, as expected, unlocked. He stepped into the house, holding the package under his arms. The house was quiet, his footsteps heavy on the floor.
“Hoseok?”
Yoongi padded out, dressed just in a pair of black jocks. “What are you- just, get out of here, I’m busy today.”
His voice was harsh and Hoseok cringed, throwing the package down on the kitchen table. “Yeah sorry, it’s all there, the delivery, the guy-”
“Yoongi?” A female voice cut faintly through Hoseok’s words. Hoseok froze.
He recognized that voice.
He glanced over at Yoongi questioningly and the stricken look on the other man’s face said it all.
“Yoongi…. Is that…” Hoseok breathed.
“Fuck,” Yoongi swore.
Hoseok closed and opened his mouth.
“Don’t say anything,” Yoongi asked in a low voice, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “You won’t say anything, Hoseok?” He looked up and for the first time Hoseok saw Yoongi not as the strong, invincible leader of the group but as he was – vulnerable and broken.
“Okay.” Hoseok muttered dumbly. Yoongi nodded and the two men stared at each other tensely before Hoseok turned and walked out of the back door.
He half expected Yoongi to come barreling behind him, but he was met with nothing but silence. He got to his motorcycle, still perched by the driveway.
Hoseok recognized that voice, husky and distinctive. Hoseok saw it in the panic that crossed over Yoongi’s face, the pleading tone of his voice.
It was Lorna. Z’s girlfriend.
“Fuck,” Hoseok muttered. “Fuck!”
Anger, fear, hot and uncomfortable emotion swelled in his chest as Hoseok kicked his bike.
The resounding pain that went through his leg just intensified the frustration, but there was nothing he could do about the pain. It was too late, and what had been done, was done.
Months later, it was summer. The days were long and hot, and the air felt still. It was the calm before the storm.
Hoseok spent the majority of his days in a sticky, clouded haze. He was stretched out on the couch, his mind comfortably blurry when he heard his front door slam open.
He didn’t bother locking it half the time, today was one of those days, and he glanced up blearily. It was Z, and Hoseok sat up, yawning.
“What’s up dude? Haven’t seen you round last few days.”
Z was agitated, Hoseok could sense it from the moment that he walked in the room. Z didn’t respond immediately, pacing back and forth before he finally flopped down on the chair opposite Hoseok.
“Found out that Min fucking Yoongi was screwing my girlfriend behind my back.”
Hoseok’s blood turned to ice.
Z let out an emphatic, “Fuck” before he sighed, leaning back on the chair.
“I… how?” Hoseok asked, his voice sounding faint to his own ears.
Z didn’t answer, his eyes closed. “Does it matter?”
“Where…. Where is Yoongi now? Have you talked to him?”
Z opened one eye. A smile spread across his face, and he shrugged.
“That’s just the thing. I was going to talk to him about it, but you’ll never believe it. Turns out there was an oxygen bubble in his bloodstream. He’s dead.”
Dead?
Hoseok could hear the blood in his ears. Z closed his eyes again and shrugged.
“Freak accident. Crazy, right?”
Hoseok’s throat was dry. He sunk back down onto the couch, his head spinning.
And there it was. The sound of Z’s silent, dry laughter. Hoseok could recognize it anywhere. Hoseok felt dread start to pool in the pit of his stomach as Z spoke, his words low and dangerous like the rattle of a snake.
“There’s nothing more important than loyalty, right?”
Hoseok didn’t answer, pushing off of the couch.
“Need a cigarette.” He mumbled. He knew it was a stupid excuse, for God’s sake he smoked in his house, but he needed fresh air. He needed to clear his stupid, clouded, jumbled thoughts, because Yoongi was dead. Yoongi was dead. Hoseok’s mind was racing with thoughts as he pushed open his front door and walked down the driveway.
An oxygen bubble? In his bloodstream?
Hoseok’s hands were trembling as he walked down his street, he furtively glanced behind his shoulder to ensure no one was tailing him. He pulled out his phone, holding it to his ear. The moment it clicked, he spoke.
“Lorna, Yoongi’s dead.”
There was a shocked silence on the end of the line. Hoseok didn’t let it linger, speaking rapidly.
“Get out of here, okay?”
He heard a choked sound on the other line, an almost animal like cry. He didn’t dwell on it, he squeezed the phone tighter, feeling his heart thump in his chest.
“Lorna, do you understand me? Get the fuck out of here, alright?”
She was crying, and Hoseok hung up, his hands trembling.
He had no idea why he had done that, he didn’t owe Lorna anything. He didn’t owe anyone anything. Except Z.
Z. Hoseok stood, frozen, as he looked behind his shoulder again. The street was empty, but he felt a hum of paranoia and fear race through his veins as he turned off his phone, trying to settle his shaking hands as he turned and walked back into the house.
He walked back inside his living room, feeling his muscles tense up. Z was still sitting in that same chair, he didn’t look up as Hoseok returned to the couch.
“So, we’ve got the Deckard deal next week. You’ll help?” Z began, and Hoseok glanced up. Their eyes met and Hoseok swallowed.
You can still run, Hoseok.
He nodded.
I can’t run.
“Good.” Z glanced back at the TV and Hoseok stared at him. He and Z were friends. He owed Z, it was Z who had pulled him into the web of the Kingsnakes, it was that web that had given him power, money, helped him pull himself and his family out of debt.
Hoseok negotiated in his head that really, nothing had changed. The Kingsnakes would remain the same, even with Z at the helm. That Yoongi’s death really was a freak accident. Things wouldn’t worsen, they couldn’t.
I won’t run.
“Hoseok, you didn’t know about Yoongi and Lorna, did you?”
Hoseok felt his heart stutter. His stomach twisted, as he looked up, meeting Z’s gaze.
“No, I didn’t.”
I can’t run.
Z smiled, satisfied, and nodded. “Good.”
I can’t fucking run.
Hoseok sat still, feeling utterly paralyzed. For the first time in years, he felt that insidious, horrible feeling inside of his chest, that voice, telling him that he was nothing. And the red thread of fate that tied him as a ten year old kid to dancing had been cut.
It was replaced by the black threads of the Kingsnakes, woven tightly around him until he could no longer breathe.
The moment you enter Taehyung’s hospital room, you gasp.
A sharp, involuntary intake of breath that draws everyone’s attention on you. Your eyes scan over the room – at Ara, who gazes at you with an expression that is saturated with disappointment and hurt, at the police officers who eye you with suspicion, at a nurse who hones in on you as soon as you enter.
“I’m sorry, but you’re outside of visiting hours.” Her clipboard is tucked under her arm, her hair slicked back into a low bun. “Only direct family are permitted here, you’ll have to come back tomorrow.”
“She is family.”
The voice interrupts before you can respond. It’s Taehyung. Your eyes meet his and he smiles tiredly at you.
Your heart gives out in your chest when you see him, at the faded bruised rings that mar his face, at the way his chest heaves delicately with each breath.
“She’s not-” Ara begins, but Taehyung just continues to speak.
“She’s family. Nurse,” Taehyung glances away to smile politely at the nurse. “Could I have five minutes with her?”
The nurse grumbles, you hear the soft strains of her voice and Ara’s but eventually, she nods. The police officers stand up and leave first, their eyes beady and intent on you as they shuffle out of the room, before the others follow. You try to meet Ara’s gaze but she stares away from you pointedly, and you feel a twist in your chest.
Finally, the room is empty. You glance at Taehyung, he smiles at you and nods to the chair that is perched beside his bed. “Sit down.”
Your legs feel wooden as you walk over, lowering yourself into the plastic chair.
The room elapses into silence, a silence that is broken only by the quiet electronic beat of Taehyung’s heart monitor.
“Tae-”
“Are you-”
You both start speaking at once, faltering when your voices overlap. Taehyung chuckles, shifts in bed. “You go first.”
You glance up, meeting Taehyung’s eyes. He looks so frail like this, mottled splashes of purple fading beneath his skin, pale lips, a smile on his face. Your eyes linger on the IV drip that threads into his skin and you swallow.
“I’m sorry.”
You whisper the words like they’re a secret.
Taehyung clicks his tongue softly. “What are you apologizing for?”
“I… what happened to you, I-”
“What happened is just a case of wrong time, wrong place. Nothing more than that. Just some thugs who were high on drugs and wanted some quick cash.”
Taehyung speaks quickly, his voice low and calm and you shake your head, tears beginning to strain at the back of your throat. Taehyung’s voice rises a little, speeds up a touch, “Really, it was just bad luck. Thank God for insurance, right? The doctors said I’ll heal up in no time too so-“
”Tae.” You say his name and Taehyung falls silent. “It was the Kingsnakes. They-”
“I know it was them.”
A silence settles between the two of you and Taehyung’s fingers, trembling, run over the IV drip in the centre of his hand. For the first time since it was just the two of you in this room, Taehyung looks away. You keep your eyes on him, seeing the rapid blink of his eyes, the way his lips move as if he’s talking silently. He’s trying not to cry, trying to hold himself together even now when his body is on the brink of falling apart. Your chest aches and the raw ache at the back of your throat intensifies.
“I’m not going to tell the police anything about them. I haven’t. And I won’t.”
“Taehyung, you didn’t have to do that.”
“Yeah,” Taehyung’s voice is hoarse. “I did. I’m not saying a word. I’m not putting you in danger. There’s no evidence. It’s better to not say anything.”
“Taehyung this is serious.” The words come out harsher than intended and Taehyung finally looks up again, his eyes uncharacteristically steely.
“I know it’s not a game. It’s your life, and…” His eyes are wet with tears and he looks so young that your heart twists and tears finally start threatening to spill in your eyes, because this is Taehyung, the Taehyung you have known since you were a kid, the Taehyung who was always older and cooler and never afraid of anything, “…the thought of your life being at risk… I can’t, I just can’t.”
He swallows hard and stares determinedly at the grey hospital blanket draped over his lap. You feel a twist right in your gut, a pain like a knife slicing through butter.
Taehyung, staring down at the ground, his eyes wavering with tears that he is fighting to hold back, the steady beep of his heart-rate monitor, the sterile smell of the hospital filling your nostrils and locking around you hard and fast.
It feels like your mind is going a million miles a minute, different emotions tugging you into different places. You think about Taehyung, who is protecting you even now, who is doing the wrong thing for you. Guilt in the sharpest sense needles at you.
You think about the fists that crunched with a ferocity you’ll never know right into the small of Taehyung’s face, of the half burned down gallery that now sits in your city, of X’s flat eyes staring into you. It’s a world you don’t understand, that you don’t belong in, a world that has grasped onto you and no matter how hard you want to, you can’t seem to shake off yourself. You feel fear, a rendering of fear so awful and deep-settled that you can’t shake it away.
The sound of Taehyung shifting in place has you breaking out of your reverie.
Taehyung sighs. He reaches up and then stops, he is unable to run his fingers through his shaggy fringe. He stares at the thick, alabaster plaster wrapped around his hand.
“I just…” His voice is raspy, he swallows hard. “Do you love him?”
You gaze at Taehyung and you can see it etched right there in the slightest quiver of his lips. All of the ways a soul can hurt, scatterd there like kisses or bruises.
Taehyung is composed of light and clarity. Hoseok is the utter opposite - he is the tiniest of moans that escapes your lips when he presses his mouth to the shell of your ear, he is a heady and wickedly uncontrollable tempo, he is a dark place where you can unravel new threads, pieces of you that you had alwys been too afraid to confront in the past.
While everyone else is safety, Hoseok is freedom.
Taehyung smiles at you. Barely - the slightest twinge of his lips, a crease of his eyes. You are sure it hurts, that reassuring smile painted on a face as sore and bruised as his. But he smiles anyway, because he is Taehyung. And for a moment your heart aches, because it occurs to you how easy it would be to love somebody as safe and sweet as Kim Taehyung.
“Yes.” You keep your eyes steady on Taehyung. You feel your heart constrict, because is it a cop out, to rattle out the words ‘you can’t choose who you love?’ if you could choose to love Hoseok, would you? You think about him, Hoseok and his dark, desperate eyes when you had turned away from him just hours ago. If you could choose who you love, would you still choose him?
Your chest is tight, and you think to yourself that if someone could crack open your body, they would likely find a kingsnake coiled in between your ribs, its body wrapped firmly around your heart.
“Yes,” You murmur. “I love him.”
You glance up to see Taehyung’s reaction. He looks up, stares at you. His face is carefully passive, his eyes searching yours for a split second before he speaks.
“Does he love you?”
It’s a question that catches you offguard. You stay still for a moment, your mouth closes and opens.
“I… I don’t know,” You answer honestly. A corner of your heart peels backwards, sings out silently that he does, I hope he does.
“Do you trust him?”
Taehyung keeps his eyes on yours and you nod.
“I do.” Your voice breaks off into a small, sad laugh. “I don’t know if I can trust myself, though.”
Taehyung doesn’t speak immediately, the beep of his monitor feels the space.
“Trust your instincts,” He says finally. You think to yourself that you can’t, that you can’t trust yourself, your heart, even your mind.
“I’m scared to.” The words come out as the barest of whispers as tears prick your eyes. Taehyung leans forward and his bandaged hand brushes against your wrist.
“Don’t be scared of trusting yourself.” He says softly. “I know a lot of people in my position wouldn’t tell you this. Usually, when a guy loves a girl, the last thing they want is to see her with somebody else.” His eyes flicker, he glances at you and you understand what he’s trying to tell you. His eyes search yours for a split second, looking for something, before his face breaks into a small, sad smile.
“Look… if there’s something there, a spark, a feeling, a flame… don’t throw it away because of fear. The only person who truly knows your heart is you. The only person who truly owns your heart is you. So… trust yourself, okay?”
Tears drip down your cheeks. You nod, your bottom lip wobbles, you tell yourself not to cry but the tears only drip faster and fatter down your cheeks.
“Okay.”
Your voice is strained and thick with tears, and you glance up at Taehyung. His eyes are wet too, and you stand up, leaning forward to wrap your arms around your friend.
Taehyung’s hair brushes your cheek and you can tell he’s crying from the wet tears that drip onto your shoulder. You can feel it when you are standing this close to him, how much pain he’s holding inside, how much fear and loss.
You are full of blame, guilt and confusion, but you stay close to Tae, holding him in a hug. Telling him, in a way that only you can with somebody you’ve known as long as you’ve known Kim Taehyung, that you’re sorry.
You pull away and Taehyung’s tears have subsided, as have your own.
“I just… This s a whole other league, and I… just be careful. Of them. Of all of it. Be careful. You know that, right?“
You don’t miss the worry that infuses Taehyung’s tone. You reach out and hold his hand. The plaster is rough under your palm and you nod, tears spilling down your cheeks.
“I know.”
Once you are outside of the hospital, you cradle your phone in your hands.
Logically, you know that the smart thing to do is to put your phone back in your pocket and to go home. The right thing to do on paper is to write off Hoseok as just a fleeting mistake, to turn away from him for good.
But you can’t. You don’t want to.
You think about Taehyung’s words, about the spark, and the flame, and you think about Jung Hoseok. You don’t know what is it about him, but you don’t want to let go of it. You don’t want to let go of him. And it is that thought that you have in mind as you press dial and lift the phone to your ear.
The phone rings out and you feel your mouth go slack with nerves.
“Hey.” Hoseok’s voice is cautious as he answers, you swallow.
“Can I see you?”
There’s a silence across the line and then Hoseok clears his throat.
“Uh… okay. I’m at my place, do you want to come over? Or I can meet you-”
“Your place is fine. Can you text me the address?”
You hear Hoseok swallow, mumble out a soft “Sure”. You tell him you’ll see him soon, as you hang up and hail a taxi, wondering if the decision you’re making is the right one.
The drive isn’t long, you are wrapped up in your thoughts about Hoseok and the gravity of the situation. You pull up to Hoseok’s house, and see him sitting on his front step. He’s dressed casually, a black tee and black jeans, and he stands up when you approach.
“Why are you here?”
His question is careful and you stop in front of him.
“You said you don’t lose me.” You say quietly, and Hoseok nods. “I don’t want to lose you either. I just… feel scared when I think about what exactly I’m losing. Is it the real you, or the you I want you to be?”
Hoseok stares at you and then glances away, his eyes downcast.
“The real me isn’t great.” He says in a short voice. “But with you I was… I was always the real me. If that’s what you’re asking.”
The two of you just stare at one another and Hoseok sighs.
“Is your friend okay?”
“He’s not going to say anything to the police if that’s what-”
“Hey. I wasn’t going to ask that. I was asking because I actually want to know.”
Hoseok has one eyebrow raised and you falter.
“You actually care about him?”
You can’t help but sound bitter.
“I care about you, so, yeah. I guess I do care about him.”
Hoseok’s words has your resolve crumpling, and the composed expression slips from Hoseok’s face as he steps forward.
“Hey, I…” Hoseok bites his lip. “Fuck, I’m the worst with this kind of thing. I…” His voice raises with each word and then he pulls you into his arms in an uncertain hug. You inhale him, feel his arms encircle you, crying into the crook of his shoulder. Hoseok just runs a hand along the centre of your back in circles, until finally, the tears subside.
You pull away from him and Hoseok peers down at you. “You look exhausted.” Hoseok says brusquely, “Have you slept? Showered?”
You shake your head, and Hoseok nods. “Look. Come in, do all of that stuff, and then we can talk about whatever… okay?”
“Okay.”
Hoseok whirls around and walks up the stairs to his house, and you follow.
“Bathroom’s down that way, kitchen’s through the hall if you want something to eat. Alright?” Hoseok looks uncertain for a moment and you nod, heading to the bathroom.
You close the door behind you and stare at your reflection, feeling your frayed nerves start to settle. You turn the tap on for the bathtub, letting the small bathroom fill up with steam, your thoughts slowing and your breathing evening out as you pull off your clothes and turn off the tap, lowering yourself into the tub. The water is hot, soothing, and it pulls away at the tension gathered inside of your chest.
“You alright?” Hoseok’s voice calls out from the hallway, and you glance at the closed door.
“Can you come in for a second?” You call out, and the door opens. You hug your legs to your chest, covering yourself as Hoseok walks in.
“What did you think when I walked up to you the first time we met?”
“Honest answer?”
You nod. Hoseok tilts his head to one side, staring at you before he lets out a sigh.
“I thought you were trying really hard to prove something to yourself.” He murmurs. “I thought you were hot too.” He adds, smiling faintly for a second.
“But you didn’t care about me then, right? At the start?”
Hoseok bites his lip. You rush to fill in the spaces.
“Honest answer again, please.”
Hoseok gazes at you and nods slowly. “At the start, yeah. I didn’t.”
“So what changed from then to now? What makes how you felt about me then, different to how you felt about me now?”
Hoseok leans against the bathroom wall, swallows. “I don’t really know what it is.” He says eventually. “But the more I got to know you, the more things changed. I like how being with you makes me feel. I care about you and I want you to be safe and happy. I miss you when you’re not with me. I don’t want to just fuck you, I… dunno, wanna spend time with you.”
You don’t answer, staring at Hoseok.
“I’m scared.” You whisper. You don’t explain what you are scared of. You don’t put into words that you’re scared of loving him, that you’re scared of trusting him, of being vulnerable. That even though you’re scared, you still want him.
“I’m scared too.” Hoseok responds. “Of a lot of things, actually. But I feel less scared when I’m with you.”
His voice breaks and he shakes his head. “Sorry, that was cheesy as fuck.” He mutters, but a smile slips across his face.
The honesty in his words takes you by surprise and you hug your knees to your chest. He tilts his head back, and you stare at him and try to remember how to breathe. Because like this, when he’s standing in front of you, eyes creased in the corners, a smile soaked in an effortless, easy kind of happiness, arms folded and those clavicles peeking out from the neck of his black tee… you haven’t taken a breath, you can’t take a breath.
“I…” Your voice speaks of its own accord, his eyes hone in on yours and you let out a shaky mouthful of air, the words tumble out before you can quite stop them, “Join me.”
Hoseok pauses and his eyes flicker over to the tub that you are perched in. You have slept with him what feels like countless of times, you have the imprint of Hoseok’s bare body stamped in your mind, but there is something about this moment right now that has the breath seeping out of you and a tremble deep in your bones.
Hoseok doesn’t speak, he just clears his voice.
“Really?”
You nod, draw your knees in to your chest. Hoseok gazes at you for a prolonged moment, and then reaches behind his body, his fingers grasping at the back of his tee to pull it off of his head in one clean motion.
You see it- the flex of his torso, his taut, lean stomach, the dip of his collarbones and his fingers as they tug off his black jeans. You’ve seen it, you know it, but still your heart hammers hard and fast in your chest.
Hoseok pulls off his pants, revealing his thighs, strong and muscled. His hips, they twist as he throws his clothes carelessly in the corner of the bathroom, he steps towards the bathtub and steps in until he is seated opposite you.
You immediately close the space, inch closer to him until your knees are touching, and he lets out a soft sigh. You watch as he reaches up and runs a hand through his hair, the water keeps his hair slicked back and off his forehead.
He cocks his head down at you.
“You’re an idiot.” He murmurs, but there is no malice in his words. Instead, he sounds oddly breathless, his voice so husky and soft that you can only just make out the words.
“I’m an idiot?” You repeat, your features wrinkling into a delicately affronted expression.
Hoseok nods, his face is a mixture of emotions that you place for split seconds, like rolling waves, one replacing the other – intensity, vulnerability, tenderness, affection.
He cards his fingers through his hair, shakes his fringe out of his eyes, the snake on his wrist disappears under the water’s surface.
You feel your breath catch in your throat, a tremble working its way up your thighs and locking tight around your stomach like a band. He hovers in front of you, oozing a dark and dangerous charisma. Your eyes linger over his shoulders, the curve of his collarbones, his taut stomach.
Neither of you speak. You just stare at one another. Here, seated opposite one other in an old, cracked bathtub, it feels as if time is still.
He reaches out and presses his palms gently, carefully, around your face. His fingers skim over your jaw, until he is holding you in his hands and his eyes are searching yours. He is looking for protest that you don’t give, before he finally leans in.
Hoseok kisses you slowly. It’s something you aren’t used to with him – you are accustomed to hurried, hungered kisses. This is slow, languid almost- his lips careful and a bit clumsy against yours, his palms still cupping your face. Right there into the curve of your lips he lets out a sigh and his body relaxes.
At the sound of it- the throaty sigh of release deep from within his belly, you lean in closer, chasing into the feel of his lips. Hoseok responds, his hands sliding from your cheeks to rake into your hair.
It occurs to you in a fleeting thought just how well he can read you now, how your body responds almost instinctively to his.
The water splashes quietly against the side of the tub as his hands comb through your hair down to the centre of your back. He tugs you closer to him so that your body folds on top of his, he stretches his legs out along the expanse of the tub.
His skin glides against yours underneath the water, you begin to feel a slow knock between your legs as his hands massage intently against the small of your back. You let out a tiny groan and pull away for a moment to glance at him – Hoseok, his hair wet and slicked off of his face, droplets of water on his skin.
His hands are still tight against the slip of your waist, he kneads his fingers harder into the curve right above your ass and you let out a tiny, stuttered moan. Your face is only inches away from Hoseok’s and he keeps his eyes locked on yours, his breath ghosting over your lips.
“Do you want me?”
It’s a simple question, his voice low and tilting, but for once there is no teasing note at the end of his words, the smirk gone from his lips. Your breath shudders out, you can feel your lust knocking between your legs as you stare into his dark eyes. His face is utterly serious, his eyes dark with desire and intensity.
“Yes,” You breathe out, and Hoseok’s eyes flicker, his tongue licks over his lips.
“Yes,” You repeat, watching as a muscle in his jaw twitches. He lets out a tiny groan and captures your lips in another kiss.
You kiss him back hungrily, letting out moans in between kisses as Hoseok pulls your body even closer to his, growls against your lips as his hands curve around to cup your ass.
Hoseok breaks away from your mouth, he doesn’t stop, his mouth trailing down and stamping hot kisses along the curve of your jaw, down the slope of your neck. You are trembling, the thud between your legs dangerous and familiar as you adjust your hips.
Letting out a soft whine, you rock your hips, feeling the smooth friction of his thigh against your cunt.
A loud moan spills out of your mouth at the feeling of contact against your sensitive core, at the barest thread of pleasure and relief it offers. You grind against him harder, it only makes the ache worsen, and Hoseok lets out a growl right into the base of your ear.
“You’re such a fucking tease,” He says in a low voice. “Hmm? Rubbing that pretty cunt all over me?”
You breathe in sharp and quick at the sound of his voice, raspy in your ear, the grip of his fingers on your ass. He smirks when he hears the ragged whine that escapes your lips as you swallow hard.
He reaches between your bodies and his hand slides over your inner thigh. You let out a begging sound, the ache growing more intense between your legs.
“I want you, Hoseok,” You choke out and Hoseok lets out a low hum, pressing his body closer to yours.
The water laps at the sides of the tub as he nears closer to you, his mouth inches from yours, his palm still flat on the inside of your thigh.
The sides of his knuckles graze at your sensitive core and your breath pitches in, lust pooling in your body. You tilt your hips upwards, desperate to feel more of his touch against you.
Hoseok’s dark eyes stare into yours, his hair wet, drops of water slowly sliding down his face. Your heart is hammering your chest, your thighs tensed, your core aching and throbbing for him. Hoseok leans in and presses his lips to yours carefully, as his fingers inch closer.
The tip of his pinky carefully caresses over your slit and you fall apart into his kiss.
“Sit up.”
He murmurs it into your lips and you hesitate, pausing before he says it again, more forcefully.
“Sit up would you?”
“W-why?”
“Just… just sit on the edge of the tub. That end, princess.” His voice is impatient, but softens as he uses the nickname. You push yourself off of him reluctantly and stand, sitting down on the edge of the tub with your back against the wall.
As your back touches the cold tile, Hoseok heads towards you.
His hands brush over your ankles in the water, his palms smoothing over your calves. Your breath rushes in as he slowly moves up your legs, until his palms are canvassing your inner thighs, his fingertips grazing carefully over your pussy.
Your back is stiff, desperately arched, as Hoseok glides his hands back down your legs. It feels as if your entire body is on edge, wanting him to touch you, the gnawing ache between your legs wicked and intense.
His fingers journey up over your inner calves, your thighs, resting by your knees before he pushes.
You glance down, taking in the visual of your legs spread, Hoseok between your thighs.
You swallow hard, a new punch of lust searing through your body.
“H-Hoseok,” You stammer out his name and Hoseok gazes right at you, his lips quirked into that same slow smirk, his eyes intent on yours.
“Yes?” He murmurs, leaning down and pressing his lips teasingly to your knee.
“I…” Your voice thins as he inches forward, presses his lips against the soft skin of your hip. You tremble as Hoseok places his hands on the inside of both of your thighs, spreading your legs apart wider.
You can’t think of words, your thoughts fading out into an incorrigible mess of emotions as Hoseok leans in, his words come out softly against your spread cunt.
“Is there something you’re trying to say?” He gazes up at you from between your legs.
Your breath comes out in ragged gasps, the knock between your legs intense and all consuming. Hoseok gazes right at you, dark eyes tracked on your face, his mouth only centimetres away from your pussy. Fuck.
You press your head against the back of the wall, clench your thighs, let out a shaky breath. The word breezes out between your lips.
“Please…”
Hoseok lets out a moan and glances down, staring at your core.
“God,” He mutters softly, “I love hearing you beg.” He swallows before he leans in even closer.
His tongue wetly traces up your slit. The sensation of his tongue against you has you twitching your hips, your hands grip the edge of the porcelain tub. Hoseok’s tongue, tasting all up of your wetness, ends by your clit, you cry out as he hums, pulling himself away.
“Feel good?”
His voice barely registers as his tongue finds your pussy yet again. He presses the flat of his tongue against your clit, tracing down your inner thigh. His tongue is coaxing, flicking slow patterns around your clit. You throb from how good it feels, his mouth on you, Hoseok between your legs letting out soft moans, his shoulders flexing as he reaches up and slides his finger into your walls.
You feel your belly start to coil tightly as Hoseok pushes the entirety of his finger slick into you. His tongue continues to work needy circles around your pussy as he pushes his finger in and out of you.
The rhythm is slow at first, teasing, the rock of his finger fucking you out and the lapping of his tongue against your folds. The sensation of him pushing his finger inside of you has you gasping, your legs stiffening, while the softness of his tongue has your deep-seated urgency unravelling at the seams.
You tip your head back hard against the wall as Hoseok slips another finger inside of you. His thumb darts in to massage teasingly around your clit, his touch is hard and punishing, almost making you cry at the sensitivity before his tongue is there to gloss over the ache.
“I’m going to cum,” You pant out, turning your head to the side so that your cheek is pressed flat against the cool ceramic tile of the bathroom wall.
Hoseok doesn’t stop, he rubs his thumb against your clit harder, works his tongue deeper into you.
The back and forth has your back stiffening desperately, the throb causing your mouth to fall open as the high rides over your body, breaking in euphoric waves as you moan out his name.
“Fuck!” Your voice shakes as Hoseok tilts his head back, his eyes on yours as he sits up, still between your legs.
You let out a strangled, wanton moan, your orgasm washing over your skin as Hoseok chases into you, his lips close to yours when he whispers, “You look so hot when you cum…” He lets out a possessive moan as he kisses you, deep and long before he groans out, “I want to fuck you.”
His words make you moan. Your eyes flutter open as you gaze at him. The glow of your orgasm, and him, hair wet, mouth glossy with your wetness, the lust hungry in his eyes, has something snapping inside of you.
“Fuck me,” You breathe out, “I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk.”
Hoseok’s hands grip around your thighs at your words as he tugs you down until you are back in the tub, the water splashing as he kisses you deep and rough, his tongue domineering as his hands squeeze your hips so hard that you can’t help but gasp breathlessly into the kiss.
He breaks away and kisses down your jaw hard, peppering his mouth against your neck and against your pulsepoint. You whine as his lips clamp down at your neck, sucking at the skin there before he jerks his head up, his lips by your ear.
“Turn around.” His demand is spoken lowly and you feel a shaky spin of lust and excitement grip you as you turn around, no longer facing him.
Hoseok immediately crooks his body behind yours, his hands roaming your front, grabbing at your breasts and squeezing hard. His fingers find your nipple and he skims over your hard nipple with his fingertips, teasing out a choked moan for you as he pinches down, his lips at your ear again.
“You missed me fucking you like this?”
He reaches up between your breasts, one hand on your neck, the other shifting to your left breast, stroking your nipple as you nod desperately, breathing out a shaky, fevered yes.
He pulls away, his palm is on your back and you move, shifting until you are bent forward. The tile is hard against your knees and Hoseok lets out a growl, moving so that he is directly behind you.
You feel as if you are unraveling, your body tensed and desperate for him to fuck you. The tip of his cock is right at your slit, and you shake.
“Please,” You moan out, your lean forward, propping your ass up higher in the air, wanting, needing him to fuck you.
“Fuck, I love hearing you beg for it,” Hoseok murmurs in a throaty voice and the words spill out desperate and heavy as you arch your back even more.
“Please fuck me, God, I’ll do anything, please-”
He pushes himself inside of you mid-sentence and you break off into a loud moan, feeling his cock stretch you out, his hips snapping into you hard and fast.
You can hear him groaning in your ear at the feeling of your walls around him, and the fullness of him inside of you as you mewling out in pleasure.
Hoseok doesn’t give you time to fully settle into the feeling of his cock as he slams his hips against yours, snapping his hips upward so that you feel all of him inside of you, you whine at the pain of it, the satisfying hum of pleasure as he groans, right into the shell of your ear.
“You feel so fucking good, God.” He thrusts harder, deeper, and you feel your breath hitch in.
“And you tasted so fucking good.” His voice is rough, hoarse as he keeps fucking into you. He thrusts hard, making your body sway, and the sensation of it has your walls clenching. The waves of pleasure are still faintly ebbing through your body from your earlier orgasm, but the pleasure builds in a new, duller, deeper anticipation at each punishing snap of his hips.
“Hoseok, harder,” You moan out his name, each heavy breath seems louder in the bathroom, the water splashes as he stutters out a moan, thrusting inside of you even deeper.
It feels so good, him crooked around your body, fucking you so hard and so deep that it feels like all you can think about is him. You pant out his name, your voice husky and breathless from the intensity of his cock slamming into you so deep and filling you whole.
“Fuck, you’re gonna make-”
“Cum inside of me, please.” Your breath rushes over his, the feeling tightening in your stomach as Hoseok lets out a groan at your words. He leans forward, tilts his hips and fucks into you harder, ruthlessly, before his body staggers forward as he cums inside of you.
You feel a wave of satisfaction wash over you as Hoseok’s body shakes from the force of his orgasm, his thrusts slowing.
It feels as if the space between the two of you is electric, everything is magnified – the water against your skin, the sounds of Hoseok’s ragged pants, the soft, pleased hum that is fighting it’s way from the back of your throat.
You feel light, like you’re floating, as Hoseok’s body starts forward, his muscles relaxing as he moans into your hair.
“Fuck,” He mutters, he presses his lips against the back of your head. “Wow. I thought I was gonna black out for a second there.”
He pushes himself backwards and you turn until you’re sitting and facing him. Hoseok has a blissed out, relaxed smile on his face as he leans forward.
“Your knees,” He tuts, the porcelain of the tub has left your kneecaps pink and his fingers brush over them in a surprisingly tender gesture.
You both sit like that for a moment, facing one another, your ragged breathing slowing and evening out. You feel thoroughly fucked out and so satisfied that it crackles over your skin.
Hoseok is the first to move, he stirs, pushing off of the tub until he is standing. He reaches above his head and stretches, before he steps out of the tub.
“C’mere,” He glances over at you and outstretches a hand.
You gaze at him, the softness that has settled properly into his face. You feel it bubbling up in your throat, thumping through your veins. You gaze at Hoseok’s outstretched hand, at the snake’s tail that curls around his wrist, and you think about everything that you have tried so hard to fight, to run away from.
You grasp Hoseok’s hand and stand up.
“Remember the time you tried to run away from my place by escaping through the bathroom?” You ask suddenly as you step out of the tub. Hoseok just lets out a wry laugh in response, as you step over until you are facing him.
“Shh,” He mumbles, reaching up and pulling you in until you are in his arms. A tiny gasp escapes your lips and Hoseok leans in closer, an amused smile playing on his lips.
“Do I really have that effect on you?” He asks, a hint of a laugh in his voice as he mimics your gasp. He dips his head closer, and you feel the jackhammer drum beat of your heart from being so close to him, from the intensity of his gaze.
“No,” You lie, and Hoseok’s face opens into a proper smile, as bright and golden and warm as the sun.
“Uh huh,” He responds in a dry tone, as he opens the cabinet behind your head. He pulls out a fluffy white towel and wraps it tightly around your shoulders.
He runs a hand through his wet hair as he stands in front of you, his eyes crinkling in the corner as his smile fades.
He stares at you, his face serious, his eyes locked on yours like he is memorizing every single inch of your face, travelling it like a map.
He reaches forward, his hands loop around the small of your back as he pulls you into his arms.
His lips find yours with that same rushed assurance that you’ve come to recognize as Hoseok’s signature. He rushes into it, his mouth chasing into yours hungrily, and you let out an involuntary sigh into his lips. His palms press flat against the curve of your waist, you can feel the heat of his body, the towel still wrapped tightly around your body.
You reach up and cup his face with one palm. You slow the kiss down, right down, until you are kissing him at a pace that is languid and slow. You feel your heart beat louder and faster in your chest, relinquishing in it – the feel of his strong body holding onto you, his lips, the way he matches your rhythm.
His hands flutter up to gently, carefully cup your face in his hands. The kiss deepens, enough to have you sighing and feeling as if your entire world is spinning.
You aren’t thinking anything, you aren’t feeling anything, all you are aware of his him, the boy kissing you sweetly and tenderly, drops
an: I haven’t proof read yet but I rlly wanted to get this out so plz ignore any mistakes!
Sitting in the back of their temporary studio in the U.S, you gaze out of the window longingly, watching the city life below you. “Hobi?” you call out once the music stops. “Hm?” he hums in acknowledgement, his eyes meeting yours through the mirror. “Are you guys gonna be done soon? I wanna go explore,” you ask him, your eyes sparkling with excitement.
Hoseok gives you a regretful look as he shakes his head at you. The concert was tomorrow and they had to make sure they were prepared. “We still have a lot of practicing to do,” he tells you solemnly. You pout at him but you don’t complain, understanding that every second in the studio was valuable. He watches you as you look out the window longingly, your chest rising and falling with a disappointed sigh.
He feels bad for keeping you here. He knows that you know you’re not forced to stay here and you can go out whenever you want. But he also knows it’s something you wanted to do with them. “I wanna explore too!” Jungkook interrupts Hoseok’s thoughts. “Me too!” Jimin and Taehyung echo him. “Can we go? Please Hobi Hyung?” Jimin begs the dance leader. Taehyung quickly joins Jimin’s side, giving his best tata mic face.
“It’ll just be a short break, we’ll be back soon,” Taehyung tries to convince him. Hoseok’s eyes move from the three maknaes to you, seemingly holding your breath as you wait for his answer. Everyone has been working hard and it’s been a while since they took a break. “Fine,” he breathes out, not having the heart to crush the hope in your eyes. “But be back in two hours,” he adds on, looking at you as he says it.
He knows the younger three have a tendency to not listen so he was trusting you to bring them back in time. It was about 6:00 pm so you were to be back by 8:00 pm. You playfully salute him as you give him a determined nod, promising to be back in two hours. Hoseok chuckles, finding you absolutely adorable. “Anyone else want to come?” you ask. “I need a nap,” Yoongi answers, flopping on the couch at the back of the room. “And I need a break from those three,” Jin says, nudging his head towards the maknaes.
You look to Hoseok but he’s already starting the music up again, focused on perfecting his craft. “We’re okay, Y/n,” Namjoon reassures you with a smile, “Go have some fun.” The maknaes don’t give you a moment to dwell on it, dragging you out of the studio. The four of you walk around the city, familiarizing yourselves with the area but when you come across an arcade, you can’t resist, excitedly running inside like a bunch of children.
You constantly check your phone for the time, not wanting to disappoint Hoseok by being late. And around 7:30 pm, you tell the maknaes to pick one last game so that you have more than enough time to head back. But when you’re about halfway back to the studio, Jimin suddenly lets out a loud gasp. You all turn to find him patting down his pockets with a panicked look on his face, “I forgot my phone at the arcade!”
Your eyes widen as you pull out your own phone, looking at the time. 7:45 pm. You know that if you guys head back to the arcade, you won’t make it back in time. But Jimin’s phone is valuable and it would be really bad if his phone got into the hands of the wrong person. “You guys go back to the studio and I’ll go get Jimin’s phone,” you tell them, quickly devising a plan. It was more important they get back on time than you do.
“But it’s not safe for you to go alone,” Jungkook frowns. The sun had already started to set and it would be dark by the time you reached the arcade. Conflicted, you all decide to just run back to the arcade to find Jimin’s phone and then run back to the studio as fast as possible.
Bursting into the studio, you place your hands on your knees, doubling over as you pant harshly. Your harsh breathing fills the room as the four of you try to catch your breaths. “You’re late,” Hoseok says simply, but it sends shivers down your spine. “I’m sorry Hobi, we-” you struggle to speak between breaths but Jimin takes over for you. “It’s my fault, Hyung, we were on our way back when-”
“Enough,” Hoseok’s voice silences everyone immediately, “We’ve wasted enough time and you guys were supposed to be taking a break but you’re out of breath.” They immediately straighten up, Jungkook speaking up, “We’re okay to practice!” The maknaes immediately jump back in while you make your way to the back of the room, watching quietly. Guilt washes over you as you watch the younger ones practice diligently despite being exhausted from running.
As soon as they get a water break, you hurry to hand the three of them a bottle of water, smiling apologetically before you take a bottle over to Hoseok. He accepts it without even looking at you, taking a sip as you nervously play with your hands. “I’m really sorry we were late, Hobi. We had to go back because…” you trail off when he closes the bottle and places it on the floor before walking away, completely ignoring you.
Your eyes burn with unshed tears when he brushes you off, not even giving you a chance to explain why you were late. But what hurts more is that you disappointed him. He trusted you to bring them back in time because he knew that you knew how important it was, but you couldn’t even do that for him. Everyone says that getting praise from Hoseok is the best feeling in the world. But no one ever talks about how disappointing him is the absolute worst feeling one could ever experience.
When they finally end practice for the night, you quietly follow Hoseok back to the hotel. When you two enter your shared hotel room, Hoseok immediately heads for the bedroom. You hear the sound of the connected bathroom door shutting as you take off your shoes, the sound of running water soon following. You’re sure that Hoseok doesn’t really want to see you right now so you grab your clothes from the bedroom while he’s showering.
Rubbing his hair with a towel as he walks out of the bathroom, Hoseok looks over to the bed, frowning when he sees it’s completely untouched. Hoseok peeks outside, finding you asleep on the couch. He calls room service, asking for an extra blanket before going into the kitchen to make himself a quick dinner. When room service arrives, he thanks them for the blanket before laying it on top of you, carefully tucking you in before turning in for the night.
When you finally hear the gentle click of the bedroom door closing, you finally let your tears spill over as sobs wrack your body, tightly clutching the blanket in your hands as you bury your face in your pillow.
The next morning, Hoseok is immediately hit with the delicious smell of pancakes when he walks out of the bedroom. “Good morning!” you greet him cheerfully, “Come have breakfast, I made pancakes!” Although the smell of your pancakes was practically making his salivate, he walks straight past them, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge before he’s out the door. You had hoped that maybe he wouldn’t be upset anymore but clearly, you were wrong.
You stare sadly at the stack of pancakes you woke up so early to make, having to wake up extra early just to go out and buy the ingredients. Having suddenly lost your appetite, you start packing them up before taking them to the maknaes’ rooms. You leave for the concert venue a little later, needing some time to get yourself together.
Nervously standing backstage, you watch as they get last-minute touch-ups, mere seconds away from getting on stage. You never doubted any of their abilities to give a perfect performance but you can’t help but feel at fault when you can see Hoseok’s noticeable nerves. He wasn’t one to usually be nervous as he always makes sure they’re all as prepared as possible, but time simply didn’t allow that this time.
As they all hit their last ending pose, you let out a huge sigh of relief. Everyone performed perfectly and you couldn’t be more proud. Seeing as they were saying their last goodbye to ARMY, you take the chance to slip away. You don’t know if Hoseok is still upset with you but in case he is, you don’t want to ruin tonight for him.
As soon as they get off stage, Hoseok’s eyes search for you. One of the staff members notices the confusion on his face when he can’t find you and they can guess who he’s looking for. “Y/n left a few minutes ago,” the staff member informs him. “She left?” Hoseok asks in confusion, “Why? Is she not feeling well?” As soon as they finished performing the last song, it was like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. He had just been so stressed and he took it out on you, but now that he can think clearly, he realizes he was much too harsh.
“I’m not sure,” the staff member answers honestly. Although they found it a bit strange since you always leave with Hoseok, it wasn’t their place to ask. Hoseok was concerned but he’s forced to push it to the back of his mind as they’re rushed back to the hotel to get on v-live.
On your way back to the hotel, you ask the driver to make a quick stop at a Korean grocery store you noticed when you went out with the maknaes. You were sure the boys must miss it so you decided to cook them a nice, hot, homemade meal to remind them of home.
About halfway through the v-live, the staff wheel in a cart of steaming hot bowls and plates of food. “We ordered some food from a local Korean restaurant,” the staff tell them as they place the food around the table. You were afraid that Hoseok wouldn’t eat it if he knew you made it so you requested the staff to tell them it was from a restaurant. “Wah!” “It smells good!” The boys finish the food at record speed, scraping the plates clean.
“What’s the name of the restaurant you got this from?” Jin asks curiously when they end the v-live, wanting to know in case they ever visit again. It’s only then that the staff reveal the food was actually made by you but you asked them not to tell. “Why didn’t she want us to know?” Jimin asks, confused. The staff assumed it was just to protect your identity on the live but even they weren’t sure. But Hoseok has an inkling as to why you tried to hide it and it only makes him want to see you more. Dismissing himself to go find you, the boys all wish Hoseok goodnight.
Unlocking the door to your hotel room, Hoseok calls out into the darkness, “Y/n?” He searches everywhere for you, the living room, the bedroom, even the bathroom but there’s no sign of you. Walking into the kitchen, he finds a note from you on the little notepad every hotel room has.
Hey Hobi! You guys performed so well tonight! Perfect as always :) I’m sure you’re tired and probably want some space so I booked a separate hotel room. So don’t worry about me!
Rest well y/n<3
Hoseok can’t help but frown as he reads your letter again. Had he pushed you that far that you couldn’t even stay in the same room as him? Dialling the staff, he asks if any of them know what your room number is. “Y/n’s room number? Isn’t she staying with you?” Hoseok tells them that you said you had booked another one. “I’m sorry Hoseok-ssi, she didn’t tell us anything about booking another room. But there’s no way she could’ve found an empty hotel room tonight. The whole city is booked with ARMYs coming to see you.”
Quickly thanking the staff, Hoseok hangs up before calling the other members. He asks them if you’re staying with any of them or if they know where you are but when they all answer “no” Hoseok starts to get worried. He rushes out of the hotel room, impatiently tapping his foot against the floor as the elevator makes its descent to the ground floor. Dialling your number, he holds his phone up to his ear, listening to the ringing sound as he makes his way through the lobby.
Taking a quick glance around, he freezes when he spots a familiar bucket hat over the back of a couch. Not wanting anyone to recognize you and worry about you, you had taken one of Hoseok’s bucket hats to cover your face. He had so many that none of the staff or other members would immediately recognize you, but of course Hoseok would know a piece of his own wardrobe.
Hoseok quickly rounds the couch to find you curled up on the couch. Your knees were pulled up to your chest as you lay your cheek on top of your knees. Slightly lifting the bucket hat to make sure it’s you, he notices the dried tear stains on your cheeks upon closer inspection. Frowning, Hoseok unwraps your arms from your legs, wrapping them around his neck instead before he wraps your legs around his waist, carrying you like a baby koala.
Bring you back to the hotel room, he gently lays you in bed, taking the bucket hat off of you before climbing in behind you. He pulls you closer until your back is pressed against his chest, whispering apologies into your hair before he eventually lets sleep take over.
Waking up, you slowly peel your eyes open, immediately panicking when you realize this isn’t the same place you fell asleep. But then you feel a familiar pair of arms tighten around your waist as Hoseok nuzzles into your hair. “Good morning,” he mumbles. Not ready to confront him yet, you try to act like you’re still asleep but Hoseok had felt your breathing suddenly increase. “I know you’re awake,” he says simply. He then gently gathers your hair to one side and starts placing kisses on the back of your neck.
“Is your neck sore from yesterday?” he asks, referring to the uncomfortable position he found you sleeping in. You shake your head but then you immediately feel the tightness in your muscles. Hoseok gently massages it for you, placing one last kiss on your neck before turning you in his arms to face him. Afraid to meet his eyes, you bring your hands to play with the necklace hanging from his neck. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes as he leans down to place another kiss on your forehead, causing your hands to stop playing with his necklace.
“I shouldn’t have been so hard on you. I was just stressed and I took it out on you. I’m really sorry for that,” he tells you and when you finally look up at him, you can see the guilt swimming in his eyes. “It’s okay Hobi, I’m sorry too. I should’ve made sure we were back on time,” you apologize but he shakes his head at you. “I asked the impossible of you, those three are really out of control,” he says, making you giggle.
“The food you made last night was delicious. All the boys wanted me to tell you how good it was,” he smiles down at you, “And you don’t know how much I was regretting not eating the pancakes you made when I was eating the breakfast the hotel offers. They smelled so good.” You laugh at how he starts to drool at the thought of your pancakes. “It’s okay, they didn’t go to waste. I gave them to the maknaes since they always sleep in late and they practically devoured them,” you tell him.
He lets out a groan at that. “They’re stealing you away from me,” he whines adorably. “We still have a lot of ingredients left over, do you want to make more pancakes for breakfast today?” you suggest. His eyes light up at your offer, nodding enthusiastically. You move to climb out of bed but he’s quick to pull you back, “But I’m making them today. You’ve done too much for me, it’s my turn to take care of you.” You pout at him, about to protest when he starts peppering your face with kisses.
You giggle, playfully shouting at him to stop before he finally places one last kiss on your lips. Leaning his forehead against yours, he closes his eyes as he whispers, “Thank you for always taking care of me.”
Alice in the Madness of Wonderland: The Stygian Fairytale | Walkthrough
↳ Banner and dividers made by @kim-seok-jin. Thank you^^.
✉Titles:
➝Alice in the Madness of Wonderland: The Stygian Fairytale
➝Stygian (the madness corrupts me, and you, my saviour)
Though Alice ‘Y/N’ Liddell is overshadowed, and she doesn’t seem to think much of it, she yearns for a world which notices her- gives her a chance- a part of her wanting for a turn to be on the pedestal. But of course, nothing can change that-
Or can it?
One chance encounter with a boy with bunny ears and a strange hole, and she arrives at the world of Wonderland- a world of magic, mystery and madness. Protecting her life is one thing, but-
What more when everyone seems determined to capture her heart?
➠ Genres: Angst, fantasy, alice in wonderland!au, reverse harem, isekai (teleported to a fantasy world), mystery
➠ Overall Rating: PG-18
➠ Warnings: Violence, suicide, comatose, disturbing scenes, weapons, fights, yandere, insanity, mental illnesses, torture, massacre, serial killers, violent riots, executions, murders, large amount of people die, stalking, people lead other people on, threats, madness (but it’s wonderland so), tea parties and the white rabbit
✉ Beta-player [a.k.a. me, blog writer and walkthrough maker!] comments:
Several crashes may occur while playing the game, as the developers told me. This is still a beta version of the game, after all! The game also contains a lot of violence… hrmm, well, you’ll see for yourself. I’ve been told not to give too many spoilers, but the developers hinted to me that as the player, we have a special power!
If you complete a route, you don’t have to continue to the next one. You can pick whichever route you’re on and make it your true end. When that option pops out in the game, and you pick yes, Wonderland will close, and Alice and her suitor will be able to leave! It’s our choices while reading that matter!
Or… at least that’s what they said. Still, I’d warn you guys to be careful in choosing! This game is tricky, and it has several bad ends too… ah, I shouldn’t spoil anymore. This is an online game, so I put the links below if you want to play the beta version too! Careful though~ It links straight to the prologue, so for any players replaying, just choose the route after!
Oh, and one last thing- though all of the main cast are dateable characters; it’s of course, only one character per route though… or is it? Hehehe!
If you go through all routes, you might get a secret ending! Bonus scenes! So complete the full game when it comes out, okay?
No, the developers totally didn’t ask me to say all that to promote the game~
Have fun playing, and I hope this walkthrough helps you!
many turned up at his doorstep only to be brushed off, even his closest friends jin and yoongi couldn’t get him to come out of his house and when they showed up with all his favorite foods, they couldn’t help but notice the dark circles that covered his usually bright eyes, he looked like he hadn’t eaten and none of his energy remained, he couldn’t even force a smile for his brothers, they left without a word from him.
can a break-up really do that to a person? ruin them to the point of no return?
because that’s what it looked like to everyone. the jung hoseok they knew, the one who used to embrace everyone, the life of every party he’s been to, was no longer the jung hoseok that stood before them.
but people knew, how much he loved you, it was obvious with the way you two used to run around campus giggling and cuddling the whole time, known as the campus sweethearts, everyone used to watch in awe as you both proudly showcased your love to everyone, and now, all of that felt like a dream to hoseok, a dream he’s been harshly woken up from.
even right now, with all his friends staring expectantly at him with beer cans in their hand, not all of them faniliar with each other, their common link being namjoon and hoseok alone, with a cigarette dangling from his own hand, hoseok doesn’t feel ready to tell what happened between you two, he doesn’t know if he’s scared of the reaction or scared of living through memories that he wants to forget. he doesn’t want to forget you however, he wants to forget what you two had, because both of you were hurt at the end. and the last thing that he wants, even now, when everything has been over, is for you to hurt.
he’s tried to wish you pain, he’s tried to hate you, but every time your last moment together stops him from thinking that way.
you left because you had to before it killed one of you.
“you look better now” jin offered with a weak smile, it pained him to see his once ever so bright friend become nothing but a clump of dull energy. hoseok grimly nodded to that, he did look better now that he started eating and working out more, while they were merely distractions, hoseok still enjoyed having some normalcy come back to him.
they nervously looked at each other, not knowing what to say as hoseok stared ahead at nothing, even yoongi, who usually knew how to break the ice with a joke and make everyone comfortable didn’t utter a word, their friend’s state had silenced them all. hoseok could feel the silence, he knew it was because of him and it was suffocating him, he didn’t blame his friends for being quiet but rather blamed himself for the sour mood.
“jungkook” hoseok softly called out and jungkook immediately leaned forward to his direction, eagerly waiting for his hyung to say something.
“i heard you got your first job and tattoo, and you never even told me, isn’t that too unfair?” hoseok light heartedly joked and jungkook had a rosy blush on his face as he nodded happily, just glad that he was at least talking.
“i started working with jimin hyung at joon hyung’s bakery, and the tattoo just kind of happened, one day i just went to genius lab and asked yoongi hyung to do it, i didn’t even think of a design till i got there” jungkook filled hoseok in with the details of his life from the past few weeks.
“can i look, at the tattoo, i mean?” jungkook immediately got up from his seat to circle around hoseok and showed him the beautiful tiger lily that covered his forearm, hoseok lightly traced his fingers around the tattoo with a small grin on his face, marveling at the intricate design.
“ah jungkook, you’re telling me you designed this? no way, you have grown up so much.” warmth and nostalgia filled hoseok’s voice as he looked at jungkook with the eyes everyone was familiar with, sparkling and filled with love, jungkook almost started crying right there after seeing him look alive after so long.
“i did, i designed it myself, we can design my next one together.” jungkook’s word held a promise, he was going to design his next one with hoseok and he was going to ink it on his body.
“how has everyone else been?” hoseok asked, leaning back on his seat as jungkook returns to his and everyone starts filling in with everything they’ve been up to
jin mentions how university is kicking his ass with five assignments every week, yoongi fills in about how much this one girl keeps annoying him, namjoon explains how bike rides around the river is the most he’s doing these days, jimin shyly mentions his crush on his best friend and the others break into loud ooh’s at that, taehyung is cursing out his professor who won’t bump his subpar grade to above average and jungkook stays silent, only letting a few chuckles slip every now and then with how dramatic some of them got.
and suddenly, as if they’ve run out of things to fill the void, they fall dead silent, jimin looks at hoseok who visibly inflates after the youthful energy in the room dies as quickly as it revives.
“hyung, i’ve been worried sick about you, and i really am glad that you called us to meet after so many days, but i can’t sit here and watch you suffer silently so please tell us, we’re all here to listen to you” jimin pleads with hoseok suddenly, his voice strained and weak with eyes widened and lips pursed as everyone else silently thank jimin for taking the step that they were all hesitant to.
hoseok looks up at jimin’s thin voice telling him to get out of whatever bubble he’s built around himself, to finally tell someone what happened and why it’s ruining him the way it is.
“should we pour a drink first?” hoseok offers with a weak smile and once everyone nods, hoseok gets started about the story in his life he wants to erase.
how you and hoseok got together? it was natural, like on instinct you had to be with each other no matter what, you don’t know if that feeling started at that one party where you got too drunk and finally kissed him, or if it’s always been there and you both just kept denying it till you didn’t.
either way, when you finally got together, you both were so giddy and excited about it that you wanted to let the world know that ‘hey, i love you and i would choose no one but you and i need to tell everyone i’m in love because it’s the best thing i’ve ever experienced’.
and it was, it still is the best thing to happened to hoseok but at the end, he knew it was the worst thing too.
he tells the boys everything, from your first date to every fight that led to the end and they could only hear with wide eyes, they didn’t know that a couple who looked so perfect to everyone, would have so many cracks threatening a disastrous breaking apart. hoseok didn’t care if they were listening or not, he’s gotten used to not being heard but he was going to tell them everything regardless.
you both did everything in the world, with hands around the other.
you went to bungee jumping with him, you went to river crashing with him, you did assignments late at night with him, kicking feet with each other and getting distracted every time, you learned calligraphy with him, you learned baking with him even if you both ended up with flour all over each other at the end, you could just laugh and kiss it off because it didn’t matter, nothing else mattered when you were with him.
every memorable thing in your life had hoseok beside you and hoseok has never wanted to experience anything in his life without you in it.
you had your insecurities, he had his, you didn’t talk about your problems, he didn’t talk about his.
because together, you could forget every problem that plagued your mind, you could forget about the world that was hurting you and instead just stare at each other till sunrise.
soon, your problems and insecurities and his, caught up to you before you could run away once again, and everything you loved about each other quickly became things that started to annoy you.
you used to love waking up to his loud good morning, you would wake up and pepper kisses across his face with a sleepy smile on your face, chest blooming with pride that he was your man, later you just stuffed your face into your pillow and begged for him to stop talking. he used to love eating your experiments in the kitchen, either lying about how good they taste, or kissing you in reassurance that you can always do better next time, his own face twisting to a grin every time you would pout at your failures, later he couldn’t hide the grimace on his face as he swallowed and couldn’t bring himself to encourage you like he usually does.
it was the little things that changed, little things that had a heavy weight in the dynamic of your relationship and it wasn’t like you two didn’t notice, every time you would turn away from hoseok in the morning, his smile would immediately drop and he would silently leave the room, his mind heavy with neglect, and every time he scowled at the food you made, you wanted to never enter the kitchen again, you lost all drive to do anything again.
and slowly, the rush you felt whenever you touched him and the way his heart would leap every time you said his name, both of them faded.
that’s when the fights began, small like any beginning but fatal.
even if it were something as simple as leaving clothes on the floor, you both would fight like your life depended on it, yelling out words only to regret them as soon as you say them.
hoseok never wanted to hurt you, but he did.
you never wanted to hurt hoseok, but you did.
at some point, you both got too comfortable with fighting every day, brushing it off like it was a normal thing that happens to all couples, an excuse, a kind of solace to your breaking hearts that it was okay, it was all okay.
it wasn’t okay.
hoseok wishes he could go back and yell at himself for thinking it was okay, it was never okay.
unknowingly, you both would hurt each other to the point of crying all night and then wiping each other’s tears like you weren’t responsible for it, like you weren’t hurting each other, more so like you were hurting yourself while gripping onto his hands that gently swiped across your face.
that was the first thing that broke hoseok.
crying because of you, crying for you and crying when he was away from you.
you were his home, his broken, falling apart, moldy and dying home. but still his home. you would always be his home.
it got exhausting, but you couldn’t stop loving him, he couldn’t stop loving you.
you were the couple that everyone wanted to be, you couldn’t just up and leave because the words that would leave people’s mouths after would only hurt you more.
so, you stayed.
even if you cried every day, you stayed because at least you weren’t the only one crying, you weren’t the only one who was breaking and losing yourself, you stayed because somewhere in your heart, you couldn’t imagine a life that didn’t have hoseok in it.
you loved each other.
but love can only be beautiful for so long.
the mistakes come after the regret.
regret that if you lost hoseok as a lover, you would lose him as a friend, a companion you could lean on, someone who’s with you even after hearing all your stories, you could lose all of that just because your love was selfish enough to make you pay, your love was poison enough to feel like honey.
the mistakes, you’re not sure when they started, maybe it was when you stopped going to parties with hoseok or when you two intentionally went to different parties or was it when you two no longer looked for each other in a full room? you don’t know.
going to parties without your boyfriend and pretending like you’re single was your mistake.
going to parties and buying drinks for others was his mistake.
it wasn’t long before you stopped coming to his dorm at night, instead showing up to class with hickeys that he definitely didn’t give you and you would find someone else’s clothes lying around his bedroom floor.
he acted like he didn’t notice the hickeys and you quietly put the clothes you found in the trash.
it wasn’t that you forgave each other, you just didn’t have the energy to fight for each other anymore, neither of you were on the right, neither of you could blame the other, neither of you wanted to tell another soul about it, an argument would only end in you both admitting you were wrong.
and you didn’t do it. he never did it.
the boys stopped drinking, glaring at the glasses in front of them, frozen with this new information.
“hyung” namjoon slowly muttered, gazing nervously at his friend, understanding a bit of what was going on and why hoseok hasn’t been the same again, hoseok just gives him a pained smile and returns to silence.
namjoon never thought his friend would be capable of cheating, he never anticipated his friend’s girlfriend who would always give him a bubbly smile when she entered his bakery, was capable either.
and that’s when it hits namjoon that maybe people are a lot more capable to hurt than to love.
the thought scares namjoon, it scares everyone else in the room too.
you and hoseok cheated on each other so much but neither of you made the attempt to break it off.
they didn’t know what to think of that, they couldn’t judge their brother, it would be unfair if they judged you when they didn’t judge him, it didn’t matter who did it first, it mattered that you two moved on like it was normal, like cheating was normal, like being in pain when with each other was normal.
and they didn’t know what to say to him as he downed another glass of whiskey like it was water.
so, they simply just didn’t say anything.
they just let him speak.
the cheating didn’t stop, the lies didn’t either.
the love which you painfully gripped to like gripping to stones, was fading too.
and when the love for each other died, so did the love for yourself.
you hated yourself, he hated himself because you and him couldn’t save it, couldn’t save the relationship or your precious love.
you couldn’t save the relationships around you either, your strained relationship with your family only getting worse with the little effort you put in to be together with them.
your life and his were crashing on you, but you didn’t feel anything.
you got used to the burning in your chest with every movement you made and he got used to the sinking way his heart fell every time you hurt him.
it was like you kept denying, denying and denying, one shot of vodka and one night with someone else at a time, till you couldn’t anymore that something was very wrong with you two.
you only remember how you felt when you came one morning to see another woman in his bed, sleeping peacefully next to him and you didn’t say anything, even if you wanted to yell, kick her out and then yell at hoseok too.
you didn’t say anything, just closed the door and walked off.
hoseok remembers the way his heart twisted in his chest when he came to your apartment only for you to be wearing another man’s t-shirt, he ignored it, he didn’t say anything about the t-shirt, or the fading marks on your neck and clavicle.
you and hoseok were foolish enough to believe that it was just a rough patch, something that you will get over soon and you could slip into that honeymoon phase you used to float around in, often getting excited at the smallest action of affection from the other, something as simple as hoseok kissing your forehead before going to class was enough for you to hope that everything will be okay and hoseok would just be happy if he didn’t find someone else’s scent on you when he hugged you in class.
but your relationship was like a torn paper, no matter how much you try to put it together, it just doesn’t look the same anymore.
and you were the first one to realize that.
you stared at hoseok from your side of the bed, even in deep sleep, he didn’t look like he was resting, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth twitching from time to time, it was obvious he was thinking a lot, and that’s when the weight of everything fell on you.
you hurt him, the one person you promised you would love, you hurt him.
you might have even broken him with how tired he looks.
he didn’t walk like he used to; slouching and trudging his step.
he didn’t talk like he used to; his voice had changed, slower and hoarser as the days go by.
he didn’t smile like he used to; his smile was forced, pained even.
and his smile, oh you used to love his smile, you used to love being the reason for his smile too.
you broke him.
and that killed you.
the first tear was silent and fell on the pillow, immediately leaving a stain on it, and then you cried, you cried and cried as sunlight poured into your room, your hands covered your mouth as your heart squeezed in your chest and hoseok woke up in a startle at the sound of a sob that escaped from your mouth. he hurriedly got up and looked around and then at you. he pulled you close to look if you hurt yourself somewhere and when he didn’t see any apparent injuries, he looked up at you again with teary eyes, he couldn’t bear seeing you in so much pain.
you didn’t stop crying, his grip on your shoulders trying to shake you back into sanity and his voice which urgently called out to you felt too distant to be true.
“i-i can’t find what’s wrong, please stop crying, please just tell me” he hurriedly said, softly wiping your face, frantically checking your arms and head again, searching for anything that could’ve hurt you but it was your heart that was finally bleeding after being plugged up with everything for so long.
“how could i hurt you?” you wailed, pushing your head into your hands, and hoseok paused, his tears building up again as your shoulders shook from how heavy your sobs got.
hoseok couldn’t deny the way his eyes-tinged red at your words, he couldn’t deny that he felt his own heart being ripped from his chest because you were blaming yourself when he wasn’t any better.
“i hurt you too” hoseok muttered defeatedly, his hand falling from your face onto his own lap as he stared off to the side.
defeat, that’s all he could feel. for someone who is used to victory, this was new, and he didn’t like it.
“we keep hurting each other hobi, why?” you asked him helplessly, your voice and his nickname were painful for him to hear and he shook his head, he didn’t know how to tell you that it will be okay because he wasn’t sure himself.
“y/n, it’s normal, happens to couples sometimes, we just have to hold o-“ he reaches for your hands, holding them tightly and rubbing circles on them, he knew you weren’t going to be happy together anymore but he wanted to try, he wanted to know if you could feel the same microscopic hope he did.
“that’s a lie and you know it” you bluntly said, voice hoarse but sure, and his grip falters so does his tiny bit of hope.
you look ready to leave and all he could think of was how to stop you.
“just listen to me, please” he begged, and your heart breaks at his desperate, slouched over form, you silently brought your hand to his forehead, pushing hair off from it and gently patting it back, sniffling every so often. your touch makes him flinch and then sigh shakily, it’s been so long since you’ve touched with affection and not venom.
“we can’t do this anymore; you know we can’t” you whisper as more tears fall down your face and you don’t miss the way he sobs a little and pushes his head into his arm.
he did know.
he fucking knew this was coming.
he’s imagined ways this day would come and nothing could have prepared him for this moment.
was this the end for you two? after all you’ve been through, you were going to end at 5 am on a random morning while crying into each other’s arms? is that what you’ve come to?
you slowly cup his cheek, allowing him to bury his face into your hand and cry, every time his tears touch your skin, you break a little more, and you don’t stop yourself from caressing his skin carefully, like it was the last time you will touch it.
“we’re just scared to be lonely” hoseok lifts his head in a shiver, voice laced with realization and you nod shamefully.
you didn’t stay out of love, you stayed because you didn’t know who would you go to if this was over.
love is a tender pain, and you’ve both experienced all sides of it. especially the worst part of it.
and with that said, hoseok hated himself for coming to that realization, he hated himself for knowing what was wrong with you two.
he wished that he just remained oblivious to everything, he wished that you never got up from the bed after he said that, he wished that you didn’t pack your clothes that were left in his closet, he wished he didn’t hear how you cried as you stuffed your belongings into different bags, he wished that you didn’t kiss his forehead and give him a final, weak smile before you left his room, he wished that he didn’t notice your scent twirling in the air, mocking him.
he wished you didn’t leave at all.
he spent many days, in the same bed you left him in, with your kiss lingering on his forehead, refusing to live without you. he lost count of how many tears he cried, he lost count of how many times he reached for his phone to call you and beg you to come back.
but hoseok knew you left for good.
you weren’t coming back.
and he just had to deal with that.
“i haven’t seen her since then, i asked her friends and apparently she went home for a bit, i don’t think i will bother her again.” hoseok ended his disastrous, tragic love story with a shrug.
a story to the rest of them but to him, he felt every word of it and relived through the memories he’s been waiting to forget.
hoseok watched as all of them gulped, they didn’t know their friend was silently going through so much and they felt guilty for not advising him, for not helping him sooner, it was only jin and yoongi who understood that any advice would have fallen to deaf ears with hoseok when he was still with you.
“that’s how it finished?” taehyung couldn’t help but ask, for two people who tried every trick in the book to stay together, you didn’t seem to try at all at the end.
“yeah, it just happened” hoseok says painfully and the boys felt pity, pity that hoseok or you couldn’t come to your senses sooner so you could stop before you got too hurt.
but the damage was done.
and the only thing left with hoseok was the silence that surrounded him and his friends who swore that another soul wouldn’t know about this.
hoseok, in some sick and fucked up way, still loved you. he still longed for the day you would enter his doorstep with the smile he hasn’t seen for so long but he’s glad you have better self-control than him and stayed away for both of your sakes.
for now, hoseok will just miss you until he can’t anymore.
his home, his heaven in hell, he will miss you till he moves on.
• Here are some of my favourite Hoseok fics. Go through these recs and find something to nourish yourself with. Show your support for these talented authors by leaving a comment and sharing feedback on their works. For posting their fics on the internet, each and every author listed here deserves a big warm hug. Thank you to each and every one of these authors for their efforts, we really appreciate your content •
Summary: Hoseok and his friends come up with a detailed guide on how to ‘get the girl’ based on past experiences. He ends up using the guide to win you over. What neither of you realize, is that you’re more similar than meets the eye.
Hoseok bounced his leg up and down in anticipation as he sat in the library, currently alone. He had heard back from you quick, saying that you’d be there as soon as you went back to your dorm and changed. He smiled at the fact that you said your appearance was “unacceptable” and you looked “homeless.” Hoseok thought your nervousness was cute, thus explaining his own nervousness.
Soon after you sent your last text, you entered the library and dropped your bag next to the seat that you plopped down in. “Sorry it took so long, I wanted to change after I got off work.” You puffed out your cheeks and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Where do you work?” Hoseok shifted his seat so it was facing you and you blushed, beginning to feel nervous again.
“I work at that little 24 hour diner off campus?” You stuttered, sounding more like a question than a statement. “It doesn’t pay much, but it gets me by…” You trailed off, not wanting to go into much more depth.
Just as Hoseok was about to respond, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He quietly apologized as he looked at the screen without answering. “So, my friend Namjoon is throwing a party tomorrow night. You should come… with me.”
You’d been to college parties before, but only staying a couple minutes, realizing they usually weren’t worth staying at. You were hesitant to answer. “I mean… If you want me to come… then sure?” Realizing that you sounded uninterested, you added to your answer. “I’d love to go with you.”
You watched Hoseok’s face light up as he looked at you, then back down at his notebook. He started talking about God knows what, because all you could focus on was his features. His big, brown eyes, his bright smile, the way his lips turned up when he spoke. Those things alone were enough to make you zone out.
“Hellooo? Earth to Y/N?” You snapped back to reality and saw Hoseok staring at you, but not in a weird, creepy way or an annoyed way. It was almost as if he was fond of you? “I was asking if you knew the basics,” he chuckled. “You know, like supply and demand, opportunity cost, things like that?” He kept looking at you and you shook your head.
“By basics do you means high school level? It’s been a minute…” You laugh trailing off. He lightly laughed with you and moved his chair closer to you. Your breath hitched as he reached over your lap to reach your bag sitting adjacent to you. His eyes met with yours and you were praying he couldn’t hear your heart practically beating out of your chest. You coughed awkwardly and grabbed your bag from his hands, pulling out your textbook. “So, opportunity cost?” You tilted your head towards him as he opened his notes.
Hoseok’s smile never left his face the whole study session and neither did yours. For some reason, you were beginning to like economics a little more.
“You can put the cups on that table over there,” Namjoon pointed to a long plastic table in the corner of the room, as he hung up string lights in the kitchen. “I hope we have enough drinks for everyone.”
“You don’t have that many friends, Joon, don’t get ahead of yourself.” Taehyung scoffed as he moved the furniture out of the way, giving people plenty of space to do whatever it is they were going to do.
Namjoon ignored Taehyung’s comment, and faced Hoseok. “Who’s all coming tonight?”
“I invited a girl from my economics class.” When Hoseok answered, he didn’t even think about what he was saying. To be honest, he didn’t care what any of the boys had to say about it. “She’s cool, so be nice.”
“I invited that one girl with the blonde hair. You know, the girl who always wears Pumas.” Jimin said as he adjusted the hat on his head.
Namjoon looked at Jimin as if he’d seen a ghost, and technically he had. Or heard the ghost, so to say. The ghost of what could have been. “Misun? You invited Misun? What were you thinking?”
Jimin shrunk back. “Yeah, why? What’s wrong with her? I always thought she was cute.”
Namjoon definitely thought the same. “It’s just that we aren’t exactly on the best terms.”
Before anyone could say or do anything, Jungkook entered the room. “Oh no, I can’t see him but I know that Hoseok’s getting the notebook out now. ‘Rule #5, don’t be Namjoon and you can succeed with girls.’”
Hoseok was quiet, but he nodded when all the boys’ eyes landed on him. “You wanna talk about it, Joonie?” He mocked, clicking the pen and starting the entry.
“Misun, can we please just talk about this?!” Namjoon was almost in hysterics. He knew falling for her wasn’t part of the plan, but it just happened.
“What’s there to talk about? We are nothing more than fuck buddies, you said it yourself in the beginning! God, was this part of your plan? What were you thinking!!” Misun was grabbing her clothes off Namjoon’s floor, struggling to put them on in a hurry.
“Babe, please, what are you saying? I love you, don’t be like this!” Namjoon was grabbing her shirt, her shoes, anything to stall her.
“You love me? What are YOU saying? The first thing you told me coming into this was no strings attached! You said WE wouldn’t catch feelings for each other! Was this all a trick? You thought sleeping with me all the time would make me fall for you? You’re disgusting.” Misun was walking towards the door, even though she was barely clothed. Namjoon grabbed her wrist, trying to stop her.
“It wasn’t my intention to fall for you, Misun! But the more time we spent together, the more I got to know you, and the more I fell for you. You can’t tell me you don’t feel anything for me.” Misun fell quiet.
“Please let me leave, Namjoon.” Her eyes wouldn’t meet his and her voice fell. In that moment you could hear a pin drop.
Namjoon let go of her wrist and handed her the shirt he had been holding hostage. He watched her walk out of his door and essentially his life. He slid down the door as he wept into his hands. He thought she had feelings for him too, and that’s what hurt the most.
After Namjoon finished telling his story, no one had anything to say. All the boys avoided Namjoon’s eyes and there were no witty things to be said by anyone. Hoseok cleared his throat as if to alleviate some of the awkwardness in the room. “What a great way to start the party guys.” Yoongi said as a way to change the subject.
“Uhh… I guess… Rule #5 is don’t have fuck buddies?” Jimin shrugged.
Namjoon rolled his eyes. “I’m not still hung up about it or anything, don’t make this more weird than it already is. And don’t feel special either, I had no intention on telling any of you guys this story.”
Though Hoseok hadn’t said a word yet, he had all the information he needed.
5. Know what you want going into any kind of relationship, and don’t expect more or less.
“Guys, I hate to break this writing session up, but I think I just heard the first car pull up outside.” Jin said, pointing to the front door. The boys quickly set up the last of the refreshments and Hoseok placed the notebook back in his bag.
About an hour before the party started, Hoseok texted you to meet him at the party instead. You were skeptical at first and almost changed your mind. But, then you remembered that this was Hoseok you were talking about. You weren’t ever this quick to call things a crush, but you were almost sure that this is what it was.
When you arrived, there was people inside and outside. You quickly made your way inside and spotted Hoseok almost immediately. When he saw you, he instantaneously started walking towards you. “Hey, Y/N, I’m glad you could make it!”
He moved in for a hug and it took you by surprise. You gasped as his warm embrace surrounded you, but you quickly hugged back. “Thank you for inviting me, it was really sweet of you.” You smiled at him and he scoffed.
“Please, it’s nothing. C’mon, I want you to meet my friends.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the kitchen. Your heart started beating fast, and you mentally cursed at yourself. Nothing is going on, calm down, he’s your friend and he is just introducing you to more friends.
“Everyone, this is Y/N, the girl from my economics class I was telling you about, Y/N, this is everyone.” Six boys all said a cheerful hello to you but all you could focus on was the fact that Hoseok said he talked about you. You managed to voice an almost equally enthusiastic, but nervous, hello to them back as you went around and learned each of the boys’ names.
Throughout the whole night, you and the seven boys stayed close to each other for the most part and you all got to know one another. Hoseok didn’t leave your side no matter what and always dragged you away when an energetic boy by the name of Taehyung tried to tell a story about “Hoseok’s most embarrassing night” and how he apparently “will never live down the nickname ‘boob inspector’” which made you laugh, but Hoseok got into a defensive state.
“I didn’t mean to go into the girls’ locker room! I was a freshman how was I supposed to know?!”
You and the boys laughed as he sat there, red-faced as ever. “It’s simple, dude. Read the sign.” Yoongi was in a fit of laughter as Hoseok pushed him off a bar stool.
He looked to you, and although he was embarrassed, he smiled ear to ear because you were smiling and getting along nicely with his friends. He didn’t want this night to end with you, and luckily when he walked you back to your dorm and kissed you goodnight, you kissed him back.
Summary: Hoseok and his friends come up with a detailed guide on how to ‘get the girl’ based on past experiences. He ends up using the guide to win you over. What neither of you realize, is that you’re more similar than meets the eye.
“You got it bad, Jimin.” Namjoon said, chuckling to make things a little less awkward. He never knew that Jimin was such a softie for Sujin.
“Tell me ‘bout it.” Jimin sighed once, putting his face in his hands. “Can we go do something? Let’s go out and have fun!” He stood up, and walked to the mirror, checking himself out. Just a little bit. He had to be ready in case he saw Sujin and her new man.
“Go where?” Jin asked, checking the time on his phone. It was still relatively early, so it’s not like they could go party or anything.
“Let’s go to a club or something!” Jimin answered, turning to face Jin.
And that’s when Jungkook interjected. “Have you forgotten that I’m not of age?” He frowned. “I’m still 19.”
“Yep, we know, you’re a baby. We get it.” Yoongi crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m really feeling Mexican food.”
“I second that.” Hoseok stood up, shoving the notebook in his backpack. Everyone gathered their belongings as they headed out to a small Mexican restaurant just off campus. The group of boys decided to walk, and they joked the whole way. Hoseok was grateful that despite the heavy topic recently, they were still able to have fun and set a light mood.
Though the entire group had only become friends recently, it felt like they’d been friends for years. Jimin, Namjoon, Taehyung and Jungkook had all known each other since high school, some being closer to each other than others. Hoseok met Yoongi and Jin during his freshman year of college. Over the most recent summer, the groups had gotten together during a lame party and ever since then, they’d been close.
As they entered the restaurant, the bell above the door ringing, they were greeted with glorious smells of spices. When they sat down, a voice crept up on them. “Can I get you guys anything to….” The waitress’ voice trailed off as her eyes fell on Yoongi who was desperately trying to hide his face in his menu.
“Oh, hello Yoongi. So, this is what you meant by you were ‘too busy with work’?” The boys kept looking between Yoongi and the waitress, waiting for him to say something.
“Leave it alone.” Yoongi murmured, attempting to drop the situation right there. He didn’t want the guys to ask him any questions because it was a thing of the past. “I’ll take a water.” The rest of the bunch could sense the tension, so they ordered their drinks following Yoongi. When the waitress left, they stared at Yoongi waiting for him to explain what had just happened.
Yoongi hadn’t looked up from the menu yet, but he could tell that all the eyes at the table were on him. “Don’t think about it too much.” Was all he said, malice rolling off his tongue like second nature.
“What was that all about?” Jungkook ignored Yoongi. “I think this calls for storytime, anyone else agree?”
Two dates in and Yoongi was already falling for this girl. He thought she was absolutely beautiful and intelligent, and they had a lot in common. He didn’t know why he was feeling stressed and panicked, but when he broke things off with her, it didn’t go so well.
It was a week after their second date. He’d become more distant, despite feeling more for her than ever. It wasn’t intentional, or maybe it was, but Yoongi had just become so worried about school and focusing on side tasks that he’d completely forgotten about her. She had texted him throughout the entire week and he’d ignored almost every text and call from her.
[11:03PM] ♥: Yoongi, you haven’t texted me back for a week. Is everything okay, did I do something wrong?
[11:45PM] Yoongi: I’m busy right now. I’ll text you later.
He’d waited and waited and came to realize that he’d put it off for too long. He had to tell her that things weren’t going anywhere. Though he felt bad, he knew that it would reduce the weight hanging on his shoulders.
[12:55AM] Yoongi: Are you still awake?
[12:56AM] ♥: Yes I’m awake
[1:24AM] Yoongi: I need to be honest with you about some things.
[1:24AM] ♥: Are you okay? You can tell me anything, Yoongi.
[2:15AM] Yoongi: I don’t have enough time for a girlfriend right now. I’ve got too much going on right now, work and school stuff. I think we should stop seeing each other.
[2:18AM] ♥: But why? Did I do something to upset you? I’ll do anything to make it right, Yoongi
[2:49AM] Yoongi: It’s nothing you did. It’s not you, it’s me. Sorry
[2:50AM] ♥: I can wait until things are less stressful
[2:53AM] ♥: You told me that you liked me, so how can you change your mind so quickly?
[2:59AM] ♥: I was starting to fall for you. I thought you were different.
[3:00AM] Yoongi: I’m trying to sleep. Night
“So you freaked out? You could’ve talked to us.” Jin frowned at Yoongi, him still looking at the table. By the time Yoongi had finished his story, their food and drinks were brought to the table, by a different waitress.
“I’m not a baby, I didn’t need advice from my friends.” Yoongi sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do.”
The boys offered him a small smile as Hoseok leaned forward to give him advice.
4. Set time aside for not only yourself, but those in your life. Don’t push people away when things get tough.
Yoongi gave Hoseok a small smile. “I guess you’re right. I set aside time for you guys, so why can’t I do that for her?” As they left the restaurant, Yoongi left her a note on the back of the receipt.
I’m sorry. Try again? - Y
“You guys up for a movie?” Jungkook called out once they got back to the dorm.
Hoseok shook his head, “I’ve got a ton of homework due tomorrow, maybe next time.” He told his friends goodbye and exited the dorm, making his way to the library.
[7:13PM] Hoseok: Are you interested in catching up on economics tonight? I’ll be in the east wing library if you’re up for it :)
Summary: Hoseok and his friends come up with a detailed guide on how to ‘get the girl’ based on past experiences. He ends up using the guide to win you over. What neither of you realize, is that you’re more similar than meets the eye.
“I need to stop going after senior girls,” Jungkook sighed as he slammed his satchel on the ground next to his bed. The other six boys looked at him with concern in their eyes. Surprisingly, despite the group having been friends since the school year started, they’ve never brought up the topic of girls. “I don’t have enough balls for that.”
Hoseok was the first to turn his full attention to the youngest boy. “What happened?” He watched as Jungkook sunk down into the bed, face first. Jungkook was normally a cheerful personality and it was quite alarming to witness him sulking for the first time.
“Igotallshyandnervous” Mumbling into the pillow, Jungkook hit the side of the bed with his fist.
“Jungkook, move the fucking pillow out of your mouth and say it again.” Jimin said, as he was the most comfortable with Jungkook, seeing as though they’d been friends since high school.
Sighing, Jungkook sat up and looked around, eyes dull and lifeless. “I was going to ask that cute girl who works at the campus coffee shop if she wanted to go grab a bite, but I just started stuttering.”
“What, you haven’t ever asked a girl out before?” Yoongi asked, sarcasm laced his words. He sat on the bed next to Jungkook’s feet.
“You’re one to talk!” Namjoon scoffed. “You’ve asked how many girls out? Oh, just one? Okay.” He sighed.
Taehyung interjected, laughing lightly. “At least they both could be a gentleman to a girl!” He rolled his eyes at the silver haired heartbreaker. “In that case, you have no room to talk.”
“Let’s all calm down and try to help Jungkook with his problem.” Jin put his hands out as if that was helping the situation at all. He managed to keep everyone quiet long enough for Jungkook to sit up completely and begin explaining his predicament.
Jungkook noticed her from across the cafeteria. Before he saw her, he had no interest in getting a coffee. However, after he noticed the pretty brown-haired girl standing behind the register, he had a sudden craving for a latte. Slowly striding over towards the stand, his hands began to shake and sweat.
“Hi, can I get you anything today?” She spoke and Jungkook swears it was the prettiest voice he’d ever heard. She was older than him, that was apparent by the way she looked and her demeanor.
He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He tried again, but was met once more with silence. All that really came out was his unsteady breathing as the cashier stared, waiting for him to recite his order to her. “Do… Do you happen to sell coffee here?”
For a moment, she couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. She looked at him with an unsure smile, but when he didn’t falter, she frowned. “That’s all we serve here, bud.”
Ah, the iconic ‘bud’ that he’s heard so much about. He didn’t look that young, did he? “Ah, my apologies then.” And it seemed that his legs knew he was giving up before his brain did. Walking away, he kept his head low and mentally cursed at himself for being so awkward yet again. This wasn’t the first time Jungkook has made a fool of himself, believe it or not. Multiple times he had seen a pretty girl going about her day, and then he opened his mouth and made it weird.
“And that’s the story of why I’m going to drop out of college so I never have to see her again.” Jungkook crossed his hands in his lap and avoided eye contact with the rest of the boys. At this point, he figured everyone here has had their fair share of both positive and negative girl experiences. Surely someone could give him some sagely advice.
“I’ll be honest, I don’t know what to tell you, bud.” Namjoon smirked as he laughed loudly at his own jab at the youngest boy.
Jungkook plopped himself back into the bed and groaned. “Guess I’ll die.” He groaned into the pillow once more.
Hoseok stood to place a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Just be confident, Jungkook. Confident, but not cocky. Don’t be so shy when you talk to girls. Rejection isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you, so don’t be scared.”
“If you’re so good at getting girls, Hobi, why don’t you just write a book about it?” Of course Jimin was being sarcastic, but it didn’t sound all that bad in that moment. Jimin scoffed as he leaned back in his seat, paying no mind to the light bulb that had just appeared over Hoseok’s head.
Yoongi added to Jimin’s joke, “How To Be Perfect Men by Jung Hoseok. Sounds like a best-seller to me.” The group laughed lightly and soon died down as they all looked around at each other.
“How many of us have actually had a serious relationship?” Hoseok looked around the group as everyone exchanged short glances before they hung their heads low. Hoseok got up and retrieved a notebook out of Jungkook’s discarded satchel. Grabbing a pen as well, he scribbled out “Math 110” and instead replaced it with the title Yoongi suggested.
“Let’s get to work.” Hoseok smiled at everyone knowingly. “What are some things that we can do so we can ‘get the girl’ so to speak?”
Jin raised his hand, even though he knew he didn’t need to, and started. “Pay for the first date. There’s nothing worse than expecting her to pay! What kind of a guy does that?”
“Be a gentleman?” Jungkook said inquisitively.
“Well, obviously, genius,” Jimin scoffed. “That is the name of this whole guide thing, or whatever this is.” Jimin waved his hand in Jungkook’s direction.
Taehyung interjected next, ignoring the argument between Jimin and Jungkook. “Hold the door open for her, compliment her, buy her things that she wants, text her cute long messages, and always be sure to call her throughout the day to make sure she’s doing okay.”
“Wait,” Hoseok started, turning his full attention to Taehyung. “We are talking about the early stages… That could freak her out, you know.”
Taehyung scratched the back of his neck, looking towards the ground. “Oh,” he smiled lightly. “I guess that would explain a lot.”
Jungkook interrupted. “Why don’t we use our experiences to help us, rather than making general statements every guy should know?”
Hoseok didn’t think that was a bad idea at all. In fact, it would help them all. They could recognize their problems and benefit from past mistakes. The group watched as Hoseok’s hand got to work. When he was finished, he tossed the notebook on the coffee table they were surrounding.
How To Be Perfect Men
Advice for the shy and young: Be confident. But not cocky.
