#canned food

<sb> do you open much canned food? i was going to get my all friends some of these kick-ass can openers.

<sb> i feel strongly that everyone should own this rad can opener esp. in case of post-apocalyptic wasteland

<b> no, i hardly open cans. but i’ve been living a pretty weird lifestyle.

<b> maybe i’ll start to open cans when i get a new place to live.

<sb> let me know and i’ll subsidize easy, efficient can-opening for you

<b> i know you’ve been on a quest for a good can opener for a long time.

<b> probably should start a can opener reviews blog and write a bunch of excoriating reviews and/or videos.

<sb> heh, maybe. those worthless shits sure deserve it.

<sb> it’s like hey fuckers, this is not a weekend retreat. this is not a seminar. i need to open cans for real. every day.

<b> right. you could probably tap into a huge reservoir of rage. nothing is too obscure to find a lot of supporters on the net.

<b> i found a youtube channel where a guy just lays around ripping farts. and there are like 100 comments on every video going I LOVE UR FARTS DUDE etc

<sb> problem is i never ever want to use a bad can opener ever again

<b> but if you’re like can opener siddhartha, you may feel compelled to start the first can opener sangha.

<sb> owning a neverending succession of shitty can openers is a powerful metaphor for samsara.

<sb>No results found for “a FUCKING can opener that won’t FUCKING break after two FUCKING months of normal FUCKING use FUCK”.

<b> moar like CAN’T OPENER am i rite

<sb> u r rite

<sb> i guess i’m just going to have to start thinking of them like paper towels and buy them in 8-packs.

<sb>No results found for “how to appease the god of can openers”.