#captain america oneshots
Steve Rogers x Reader
**I can’t do a summary on this one without spoiling everything. If you’ve read the first three parts then you know what’s going on.
Word Count: 1503
Warnings:Language, angst.
A/N:Ok, I’ve had so much fun writing this! Thanks to all who have read it! Give me some feedback, too. I like hearing from you. Not my gif, credit to the owner.
“You guys only dated for two months - it’s not like you were engaged or anything.”Laurie sat with you on your couch, sharing a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream with you.
You nodded. “I know. It’s just that I was really falling for him, and I… I don’t know. I just miss him, that’s all.”
It had been a week since you and Steve went ‘on a break’.
“So, why don’t you just call him, then?” Laurie said, digging her spoon into the ice cream. “If you’re ‘on a break’ you can just end the break, right?”
“It’s not that simple,” you sighed, wishing it was. “He doesn’t want to be with me if I can’t handle him leaving all the time to save the world. And I don’t know if I can handle that. I mean, I love that we aren’t a super clingy couple, and I don’t want him up my butt all the time, but…” you sighed again. “I just want to see him. And I want to know that I’m a priority in his life.”
Laurie shook her head. “If you sigh again, I’m going to scoop your eyeballs out,” she joked, waving her spoon around before scooping some more ice cream in her mouth.
“Can we talk about something else?” you asked, and Laurie nodded.
After a moment of silence, your friend spoke up again. “So how was the sex?”
You nearly choked on your ice cream. “Excuse me?”
“The sex- with Captain America. How was it?” Laurie pressed, raising a brow. “He’s a super soldier, sex with him must have been super.”
“I wouldn’t know,” you said, and it was Laurie’s turn to be surprised.
“You never fucked him?”
“No,” you said, leaning back against the couch cushions. “We were taking things slow, and… and we never really had an opportunity to. Even if we did, he’d probably have to leave halfway through,” you laughed at the thought.
“Ew,” Laurie laughed, scrunching her nose up in disgust. She shook her head for a moment. “Do you think you’ll ever see him again?” She asked, setting her spoon on the coffee table.
“I don’t know, maybe,” you said, shrugging. “I miss him like crazy, but if the world is always going to come first, I just don’t think I can be with him.”
Laurie, for once, didn’t have a comment. But she looked like she did, like she was holding something back. “What?” you asked, noticing this.
She shook her head, giving you a tight-lipped smile. “Nothing,” she said.
You gave her an incredulous look. “It’s not nothing- what is it?” you asked.
Laurie let out a huff of breath, and looked at you like you were an idiot. “I just think you’re being stupid. You’re crazy about this guy, and duh, his job is going to come before you. It’d be different if he were a lawyer or a teacher, but he’s a superhero, Y/N. It’s not like he can just let aliens invade Earth or whatever he protects us from.”
“You don’t think I know that?” you said, all of sudden feeling very defensive about this whole thing. Who was she to judge you? Tell you that you were being stupid? “You don’t think I’ve thought about that, and felt guilty about thinking I was more important than his job?” You stood up, slamming the lid back on the ice cream.
“If you were really guilty about it, you’d be okay with him leaving all the time,” Laurie pointed out, her voice calm and cool compared to yours.
“Shut up!” your voice raised as you tossed the ice cream onto the coffee table. “You don’t know how it is- you don’t know what it’s like to be completely into this guy who always has to leave. Always.”
“Look, I get it,” Laurie said, standing up and grabbing her purse. “But you’re being selfish. Steve has a job to do, and you should appreciate the time you get with him and stop dwelling on the fact that he’s not around twenty-four seven. And, do you know what I would give to have what you and Steve have? I’ve seen the way you look at each other. No one has ever looked at me like that.” She scoffed. “I get why you’re mad. But don’t take it out on me.” She dug her keys out of her bag.
“Laurie, wait-”
“Call me when you’re done acting crazy,” she said, rolling her eyes before walking out the door.
This wasn’t like you - blowing up on Laurie and acting all self-centered with Steve. You weren’t like that, right? You kept your anger under control and you didn’t let doubt run your life, but… But something happened over the last few months and now, things were different. You were different.
You got a text two weeks after your fight with Laurie. It was from Steve.
I left my copy of the catcher in the rye at your place. Can I come get it, and I will give you back your key also?
-Steve
You couldn’t help but smile. He always ended his texts with his name, even though you always told him he didn’t need to. That people receiving messages from him would know it was him. He was such a dork sometimes.
You were at work when you received it, so you quickly typed back a reply.
Yes. I get off at 8. Anytime after then will be fine.
The past few weeks had been rough. You hadn’t talked to Laurie or Steve, and your heart hurt without both of them. You spent a lot of time watching reruns of your favorite TV show, and the amount of ice cream eaten had been a lot more than usual. You missed Laurie. You missed laughing with her about the stupid things you did in high school and going through each other’s clothes and talking about everything with her. You didn’t have anyone to vent to.
And, more than anything, you missed Steve. You missed the electricity between the two of you when you touched, and the way his lips seemed to fit into yours like puzzle pieces. You missed how you didn’t even have to go out with him- the two of you could just relax on your couch and be totally content. You missed those baby blue eyes, with so much history in them. You missed him so much.
Maybe Laurie was right. Maybe the little bit of time you got with Steve was enough. Maybe you could deal with him always running off, as long as he came back to you.
Fuck, you thought, shoving your phone back into your pocket as you made your way through the housewares department. Was I wrong all along?
The rest of your shift seemed to drag on. Like the universe knew that you wanted to leave, so it slowed time down just for kicks.
You nearly got a ticket driving back to your apartment.
Your bag slung over your shoulder, your hair disheveled from a long day at work, your half-eaten sandwich in a plastic bag. You were a sore sight, and all you wanted was to see Steve. You knew what you had to do - apologize, and kiss and make up.
Everything would be alright.
You opened the door, expecting to see Steve on the other side. Instead, you were met with the darkness of your apartment, empty of anyone that could bring you happiness again. After setting your bag down, you noticed something on the table by the door. A note, with the key you’d given Steve sitting on top.
Y/N,
This past month has been hell without you. But you haven’t made any move to contact me, no signs that you want to make this work. So I have to give up, right? If there’s really no way I could change your mind, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. I lived this long without you. I can do it again.
I can’t guarantee that you’ll be number one on my list. The world needs me, Y/N, and I can’t just back down from anything threatening the safety of this planet. SHIELD is my job, and I can’t quit on them. But once all that is said and done, I promise, you will be my number one girl.
If you are willing to try again with me, give me a call. If not, well, I’ll be sad, but there’s nothing I can do about it.
- Cap (Steve)
All the emotions that you’d had built up over the past month or so just sort of collapsed, and soon your eyes flooded with tears. You couldn’t help it. Things were horrible with Laurie, and you missed Steve like crazy. But he wanted you. And you wanted him, more than anything. Things were different with him than with any other guy you’d dated. He was different. He was special.
You didn’t even bother pulling yourself together before dialing his number.
Tags:
Steve Rogers x Reader
Summary:Things with Steve have been going great, but what happens when you start to feel like you’re not a priority?
Word Count: 1921
Warnings:Just some angst, little bit of language.
A/N:Okay, I’m really proud of this. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to crank out something that wasn’t one hundred percent fluffy, but I did it. Let me know if you liked it!! Also, letting @whiskeyandwashitape&@thelostswan this exists!!
Not my gif, credit to the owner.
This was getting ridiculous.
So far, in your opinion, at least, you’d been a very supportive, easy-going girlfriend. It had been a little over two months with Steve, and you really were falling for him. You loved the way the corners of his mouth flickered upward when you said something stupid, and his dumb, old-fashioned jokes. You loved how the longer you looked into those deep, oceanic eyes, the more lost you got. You loved how he did things just for the sake of being good. And you knew that dating a super soldier was going to be complicated- and it wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t help it that terrorists and aliens and bad men existed and that it fell on his shoulders to take care of it.
That one night - that date at your house that had ended with the two of you sleeping on your couch - had been wonderful. But since then, no date between you and Steve had ever really ended.He would get a phone call or a text or something, and just give you that look, like, I don’t want to go but I have to. And you would insist that everything was fine, that you understood that he had a job to do.
You finally cracked one night when he took you to a carnival. It had been lots of fun - he wore sunglasses and a hat so he wouldn’t get recognized, and won you this cute little red, white, and blue teddy bear. You split a churro with him, and he kissed you at the top of the Ferris wheel. It was very sweet, very When-Harry-Met-Sally-Sleepless-In-Seattle-Rom-Com cute.
You were walking hand-in-hand with him, towards the cotton candy booth, when it happened. His phone beeped, and he glanced down at it. You’d grown accustomed to silently praying every time he looked at his phone - praying that it wasn’t SHIELD or Nick Fury or someone in danger. And he gave you that look, lips slightly pursed and eyebrows knitted in a frustrated kind of way. “I’m sorry, Doll. Duty calls,” he said, shoving his phone back into his pocket and releasing your hand from his.
“Yeah, whatever,” you muttered, running a hand through your hair.
Steve looked slightly taken aback. Usually you were understanding, and you said you weren’t upset and he had to do what he had to do. But this was the second time this week this had happened, and what felt like the millionth time since you’d started dating him. You couldn’t help but be irritated.
“Y/N,” he sighed, looking at you. “I can’t not go. I have to go.”
“I know,” you snapped, rolling your eyes. “Believe me, I know.”
“Don’t be mad,” He said, eyes fluttering towards the exit. “Please, don’t be mad. I’ll… I’ll call you when we’re done, okay?”
“Whatever, fine,” you said, turning your back to him. And when you turned around again, he was gone.
Three days passed until you heard from Steve again.
It was four in the morning, and you woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. Disoriented, and partly blindly since you didn’t have your contacts in, you pulled the charger out and looked at the screen. It was Steve, calling you. What the hell?
You answered it with a hoarse and slightly incoherent, “Hello?”
“Hey, Y/N,” Steve’s voice relieved you. You often went a few days without hearing from him when he went on missions, but you couldn’t help but worry about him. “I just wanted to let you know that we’re all alright. I’m on a plane right now, heading back.”
You slowly sat up, and reached over to turn on your bedside lamp. Even though you were kind of angry at him, you were happy he was alright. “Well, that’s good,” you said with a yawn, leaning against the headboard.
“Oh, god. Did I wake you up?” Steve asked.
“Well, yeah, it’s…” you lifted the phone from your ear to check the time, “It’s 4:17 here, but, I mean…” You rubbed at your eyes. “It’s fine. I’m glad you’re alright.”
“Yeah, me too. So, look, about the other night-”
“You know what, Steve? Just forget about it, okay?” You said, crossing your legs Indian style and pulling a blanket closer to you.
“No, I can’t forget about it, Y/N. You’re unhappy, and I want to fix it.”
“You can’t fix it,” You said, shaking your head. “And honestly, I’m too tired to even talk about it, alright?” This was the first time you’d ever been mad at him, and you didn’t want to deal with it.
“Okay,” he said, sounding defeated and submissive. You hated that he sounded like that. You hated that you were the reason why. “Well, do you want to go back to sleep? I’ll let you go if you want.”
“Actually, yeah,” you said, sighing. “I have a big day at work tomorrow- buy one, get one half-off on heels. Gonna be packed.” You yawned again.
“When do you get off?” He asked, a hint of sadness in his voice. He hated you being mad at him almost as much as you did.
“Six. Come over anytime after that, if you can, alright?”
“Okay. Get some sleep, Doll.”
“I’ll try. Bye, Steve.”
You didn’t sleep.
Work that day was awful, and not just because of the sale and all the people. You couldn’t stop thinking about Steve, and about all the times he’d ditched you to go be a superhero. Your head was in the wrong place, and you couldn’t focus on anything. You even knocked over a display of shoes that one of your subordinates had spent a whole hour putting together.
You were drained, and over it all by the end of your shift. You just wanted to go home and shower and sleep for three days.
When you opened the door to your apartment, you saw Steve sitting on the couch, reading a book. You had given him a key in case of emergencies. You let a lazy, exhausted smile rise to your face. “Hey,” you said quietly, shutting the door and locking it behind you. It was hard to remember that you were mad at him when you missed him so much.
He shut his book and looked at you, that goofy grin on his face. “Hey, Doll,” he said, standing up and walking over to you. He looked cautious, like you were a ticking time bomb. You shook your head and took a step towards him, giving a long, well-needed hug.
“I missed you,” you sighed, dropping your bag at your feet and burying your head in his chest. “I was worried about you.”
He stroked your hair for a moment, and you just stood there, breathing each other in. He smelled like Old Spice.
“I missed you, too, Y/N.”
Finally, you pulled away, and took in a deep breath. Your heart hurt without him, but it didn’t change the fact that you didn’t feel like a priority in his life.
You crossed the room and sat on the couch, feeling relieved to finally be off your feet for the day. Steve sat on the opposite end of the couch from you, leaning against the armrest.
“Can we talk now, Y/N?” He asked, turning to look at you. You crossed your legs, leaning back against the couch.
You sighed. “Yeah,” you said, already wishing this conversation was over.
Steve took in a deep breath, and ran a hand through his hair. “Do you… do you want to break up with me?” he asked, quietly, scared. Like a kid. Fuck, you thought.
“No!” you exclaimed, eyes widening. You grabbed his hand across the couch. “God, no, I don’t want to break up with you. I-I… I’m just…” You groaned, and ran your free hand over your face. “I’m just irritated, because I feel like I’m not a priority, and I know there’s nothing you can do about it. You have a job to do and you have to do, and I feel soguilty about being mad at you for it, but I am, y’know? And maybe I’m not even mad at you. Maybe you’re just the only person I can take it out on.”
“You can be mad at me,” said Steve, pulling his hand away from yours and tangling them in his hair. “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be mad at me. It’s healthy for couples to argue - I read that somewhere, I think.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to be mad at you, Steve,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “I don’t get very much time with you when you’re around, and I don’t want to spend it fighting with you, y’know?”
He nodded. “I’m sorry I’m never around, Y/N,” he said, sighing and looking over at you. “But you know I have to-”
“I know,” you cut him off, standing up and walking into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “I know. I’ve heard the speech a million times, Steve. You have to protect the people. You have to do what’s right. And I know you can’t, but I wish you could just blow it off sometimes, and no one had to die or anything for you to be able to spend some time with me.”
He followed you into the kitchen and leaned against the doorway as you scoured leftovers for something that seemed appetizing. “Are you ever going to be okay with this?” he asked as you settled on the rest of the sesame chicken you’d had yesterday.
You opened the lid of the Tupperware container and put it in the microwave for forty-five seconds. “I don’t know, Steve. I guess I saw this coming in, and I figured I would just get used to it. But it’s hard, you know? Like, I drop everything for you when you’re in town, and I just feel like I’m the only one trying sometimes.”
“There’s nothing I can do about that, Y/N-”
“I know!” you exclaimed, groaning out of frustration. “God, I know, Steve! You’ve been telling me the same things for the past two months- it’s like you have a script memorized for when you have to leave. And I feel so bad for being angry at you for it, but I am. I’m angry, okay?” The microwave dinged, but you made no move to open it.
“So, what, then?” He asked, irritated, crossing his arms over his chest. You took a sip of your water. “Do you want to call it quits or something?”
“I don’t know,” you sighed, sinking to the floor and leaning against a cabinet, rattling the door with your weight. “I…God. It’s impossible for me not to be happy with you. And we have such a good time together. But I can’t decide if…” you trailed off, deciding not to say it.
“You can’t decide if it’s worth it.” He finished for you, and you looked up at him, nodding slowly in response.
He shook his head. “How about we take a break then?” He said, and your eyes widened. “It makes me sad thinking about not talking to you, but I think you just need some time to think. We both do.” You said nothing. “Call me when you can decide, okay, Y/N?” You just stared at him.
And then he was gone. This time he wasn’t coming back.
Steve Rogers x Reader
Summary:The Star Spangled Man with a Plan wakes up with a nightmare, and it’s up to you to comfort him.
Word Count: 993
Warnings:Angst.
A/N:Not my gif! Make requests for me, and tell me if this was good or nah. I thrive off of praise basically.
You know how sometimes people need a fan to be able to sleep? Well, for you, it was Steve Rogers’ heartbeat. It was something that you’d grown used to having lull you to sleep, and without it, you just couldn’t fall asleep. Ever since Steve had moved in a few months ago, it had become a staple for him to be next to you. You just weren’t comfortable enough without his big, strong arms around you and his heart beating so steady and bringing you to that place of relaxation. This whole relationship with Steve, you had mostly needed him more than he needed you. You accepted that. It was fine.
—————–
He was shivering. You slowly woke up to find Steve shivering in his spot, still asleep, even though he had two blankets on. How could he possibly be cold? You were slightly disoriented as you turned your head to look at the alarm clock. It was one in the morning. With a small sigh, you moved your body closer to Steve’s and pressed against him, hoping he would warm up. But he kept shivering, and not long after that, he started mumbling things. Talking in his sleep? He never did that. Steve was the soundest sleeper you had ever witnessed. You looked at his lips in the darkness, and tried to make out some of the words he was saying. Most of it was incoherent, what Steve was saying. But you managed to make out one word- a name. Bucky. Bucky. Why was Steve dreaming about Bucky? Shivering, and… and talking in his sleep? You didn’t know whether to wake him up or not, but his face was so pained, you definitely felt like you should.
You were about to gently wake him up, but then Steve did it himself. He shot up from his position, sitting up in the bed, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. He groaned painfully, and, panting, looked around the room as if he couldn’t remember where he was. “(Y/N)?” He said, looking at you.
You sat up, reached over, and flicked on the lamp. “Steve?” you said softly, inching towards him, worried. “Steve, I’m right here. Are you okay?” Your voice was hoarse from having just woken up.
Steve turned to look at you. His cheeks were red and sweat covered his face like a blanket. His breathing was heavy, like he’d just run across the whole world. He had an expression on his face you’d never seen before- fear? Was he afraid? Steve? He didn’t say anything for a moment, just looked at you, and around the room, almost as if he was trying to convince himself that this was real, and that whatever had been going on in that dream was over.
“Are you alright, Steve?” you asked him again, reaching over to grab his hand. He pulled away instinctively, looking like an abandoned dog. You furrowed your brow slightly and unraveled yourself from the blankets. “Come on, babe, let’s get you some water or something.” You slid on your slippers and opened the bedroom door.
Steve just shook his head, appearing to be back with you. “I’m fine, (Y/N).” He said, running a hand through his hair, and taking a deep, shaky breath. You stood in the doorway with a hand on your hip. “Really,” he insisted, nodding in confirmation. “I’m fine. Let’s… let’s go back to sleep.”
“You don’t have to be prideful with me, Steve,” you said, flipping on the main light of the bedroom. “I’m not going to respect you any less if you tell me what just happened. Clearly you had a nightmare or something. Why can’t you just tell me what it was?”
“It was nothing, (Y/N),” Steve said, his voice more persistent, and taking on a slightly irritated tone. “God, will you just give it a rest and come back to sleep with me?”
Rolling your eyes, and knowing you weren’t going to get anywhere, you shut off the light and stormed back into the bed. Steve turned with his back to you, and it took a while for you to fall asleep.
–
A few hours later you woke up to the sounds of Steve screaming. Your eyes shot open to see the blond man sitting up in bed, clutching his pillow like it was a lifeline. He was sweating again, the same scared-shitless look on his face.
“Steve,” you said, slowly sitting up against the headboard. “Babe, are you alright?”
“It was Bucky,” he said quietly, his voice shaky and scared. “I-it was Bucky. H-he kept falling off of that train, just over and… and over again. I couldn’t save him, and I couldn’t save Peggy. I couldn’t even… I couldn’t even save myself.” His voice cracked, and he buried his face in his hands. You scooted closer to him on the bed, and wrapped your arms around his bare shoulders.
“Shh,” you whispered, pulling him close to you, so that his head lay on your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead a few times. “It’s over now, Steve.” You said quietly, knowing there was nothing you could do to take those awful World War II memories out of his head. He softly started crying into your chest, and you couldn’t help but cry with him- silent tears as he softly sobbed into your nightshirt.
“There’s nothing more you could have done, baby,” you said to him, tears streaming down your face as you tried to imagine the kind of pain he went through. “But it’s all over now, okay? It’s done. The past is gone.”
Eventually he fell asleep again, but you didn’t. Thinking about how much pain all this caused the love of your life made you incredibly, deeply sad, and you just couldn’t sleep with those kinds of thoughts in your head, even if Steve’s heartbeat was right there.
