Summary: You’ve been best friends with Steve Rogers your whole life… But you hate the way every girl falls on their knees for him.
Warning: over sexualized steve rogers (not by reader), friends to lovers, reader is insecure,
A/n: this is one of my last works in my 1k celebration!
“Oh, Steve, I love you! Oh, baby, I need you,” You tease, your voice high-pitched and nasally. Steve’s cheeks burn, visible even in the dark room. You laugh loudly, throwing your head back.
“Shut up,” Steve mutters, pushing your legs off of his lap. Your legs plop against the couch cushions as Steve stands up, walking into your tiny kitchen. “What? Don’t act like you don’t love the attention,” You say.
You watch as Steve shakes his head, his back to you. He rumbles through your cabinets, searching for something to eat. “If I loved the attention, I’d be at a party tonight, instead of hiding out in your apartment,” He says, wiping the smile off of your face.
You roll your eyes, pulling the blanket over your legs. Steve turns around, his amazing pecs staring you right in your face. “And don’t act like you didn’t have a little crush on me in high school,”
Your eyes widen, your lips parting. You most certainly did not! Okay– maybe you did, but that’s none of his business! He shouldn’t know that. You’d been friends for your whole life, who would have blamed you for having a crush on Steve fucking Rogers?
Star of the football team, dumb, goofy, blonde… He was every high school girl’s wet dream. Until they realized how close he was with you. It’s not your fault, you never had a choice in the matter. Your dad’s had been friends all throughout high school, so you were raised together. Steve Rogers helped you learn how to walk, you helped him learn how to read.
You’d understand why his friendship with you was a turnoff for a lot of girls. You were always at every football game, every family gathering, and Steve always ended up at your house after a party. But what made it even worse was who you were.
You were nothing like the people Steve hung out with. He hung out with football stars and cheerleaders. You were neither of those things. You were a quiet girl who sat in the front of the class, who no one even knew was in the class until they needed help on the homework.
But all of that changed when you went to college. Steve went with a full scholarship, thanks to his football skills, and you went with thousands of dollars in loans. You suddenly became the girl that went to parties. Now, let’s not lie to ourselves. The only reason you got into those parties was because Steve was the beloved frat leader who convinced his “brothers” to let you in.
Now, instead of just being the football star, Steve is the football star AND the goofy frat boy. Girls are practically offering him blowjobs as soon as they see him.
“I did not,” You argue, watching as Steve chuckles. He grabs his snack before coming back over to the couch, all 200 lbs of him sitting on your legs. You struggle to move your legs, kicking him in the process.
“Ow,”
“Not everyone has a crush on you, you know?” You say, sitting up in your couch.
“Everyone but you,” He replies, raising his eyebrow.
You roll your eyes, having nothing to say back to that statement. He’s right. Everyone but you has a crush on him.
Your crush faded away as soon as you saw how the girls fell for him. You don’t know why, but it was such a turn off for you. Steve is just a regular guy. You’ve seen him pick his nose. You’ve watched him throw up. You’ve seen him cry. He’s not some super-human boy.
He’s a regular guy.
You don’t want someone that everyone wants. You don’t want someone that everyone can have. You love Steve, but he’s not particularly selective about the women he chooses. If they show an ounce of admiration for him, he’s taking that, spinning it until they hate him, until they want nothing else to do with him.
And you can’t say you blame him. If you were an attractive guy in college, you’d probably fuck everyone you wanted to. But you’re just a girl in college, who has societal consequences for who you choose to fuck.
So, that’s why you could never be with Steve.
He’d never want you anyway.
“Why is that?” Steve asks, his smile dropping. You’re brought out of your thoughts, furrowing your eyebrows at him.
“What are you talking about?”
Steve throws his arm up on the back of the couch, scooting closer to you. “Why are you the only one that’s never shown any interest in me?” He asks, his voice quiet.
You scoff, tearing your eyes away from his. “According to you, I had a thing for you in high school,” You mutter. Steve reaches out and lands a hand on your knee, getting your attention again. The air in the apartment has suddenly been sucked out, leaving you breathless.
Okay, maybe your high school crush never went away. Maybe you tried to make it go away, tried to convince yourself that you didn’t want him. But how could you?
Steve is the perfect guy. He always stands up for you, he always makes sure you’re not left alone on the weekends, he always makes room for you. If a girl has a problem with you, he drops them, because he’s always said you were more important than a girl who was around just to get his dick wet.
You remember just last night, when you were alone in your apartment, after turning down Steve’s invitation to go to a party. You felt the bed dip beside of you, awakening you from your sleep. “It’s just me,” Steve whispered, pulling the blankets over his legs. You could smell the alcohol on his breath, despite your back being turned to him.
It’s not unusual for him to end up in your bed after a party, drunk and tired, desperate for someone to cuddle with. That’s what people will never understand about Steve.
He’s got plenty of attention, but it’s not the attention he wants. It’s something you’d never understand, something he’d never want you to understand. He admires the way people love you. They love you unconditionally, without expecting anything from you. Everyone expects him to play good, they expect him to fuck them at the end of the night.
Because that’s who he’s always been.
But the people that want you, they want you because of your mind. Because of the way your nose scrunches when you laugh, the way you’re not afraid to speak your mind, even if it pisses other people off.
You might not get the attention he has, but you have the attention he craves.
Steve wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close, inhaling your scent.
“I know better than that, y/n. I know you couldn’t stand me in high school,” Steve says, a smile on his face. You look away, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth.
“I didn’t hate you, Steve. I… Might’ve had a slight… Crush on you,” You admit, your face burning up. You never thought you’d admit this, not to yourself, but especially not to him.
Steve’s eyebrows shoot up, his smile growing bigger. “Yeah?” He asks, earning a laugh out of you. You nod your head, smiling.
“Yeah, I did,”
Steve’s smile fades, his hand still on your knee. “What changed?” He asks, his voice quiet.
His tone takes you by surprise. He’s not teasing you about it, he’s not making fun of you… He’s genuinely asking.
Nothing changed, you want to say. I’m still hopelessly in love with you, but I’m too scared to admit it because I’m not your kind of girl.
Your smile fades as you shake your head, pulling your leg away from his hand. “I grew up,” You say, standing up. You go to the kitchen, cleaning up his mess, trying to get out of this conversation.
You’ve avoided having this conversation for so long, not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings or make anything complicated.
Steve furrows his eyebrows, watching you. “You… Grew up? What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks. You shake your head, not wanting to look at him. “I realized that guys like you should be with sorority girls or cheerleaders… And I belong with no one,”
Steve frowns, standing up. He comes into the kitchen, staring at you. You feel him staring a hole through your back, but you refuse to look at him. You can’t believe you’re actually having this conversation. You promised yourself you’d never tell him how you felt, not wanting to mess your friendship up.
“You really believe that?” He asks, his voice dangerously close to your ear. You feel his breath against your neck, causing you to shiver. You suddenly feel naked, dressed only in your big t shirt and pajama shorts. Normally, you wouldn’t mind. Steve’s seen you in bikinis, he’s seen you in a bra and panties, but suddenly, you feel like you should be in a full body suit.
You feel his chest against your back, his hands snaking around your waist, turning you until you’re facing him. Your eyes are locked onto his chest, not having the courage to look up at him. His hands move up to your cheeks, his thumb stroking your skin. “Fuck,” You mutter, feeling your stomach fill up with butterflies.
“What would you say if I thought the same thing?” Steve asks, his voice gentle. This gets your attention, your head snapping up to him. He thinks he belongs with no one? How could he? Every girl on campus is falling on their knees for him.
“Are you mental? Every girl wants you, Steve, of course you belong with someone,” You argue, watching as he sighs quietly.
“People want me, y/n, but they don’t love me. No one’s ever been head over heels for me, nobody ever felt like they couldn’t live without me. No one’s ever wanted me. Not that way I want you,” He admits, his eyes searching yours.
You suck in a sharp breath, completely taken aback by what you’re hearing. Never in a million years had you thought Steve liked you.
You thought all the deep conversations, all the nights spent in your bed, all the random phone calls were just his way of being a good friend.
“You want me?” You ask, breathlessly. Your heart has stopped racing, slowing to an almost nonexistent beat, preparing yourself for what’s happening.
Steve leans forward, his nose grazing yours, until his lips are on yours. His lips move against yours, your heart racing again. This isn’t how you imagined he’d feel— it’s better. His lips on yours are heavy, but his hands on your body are light, pulling you closer and deeper.
You can’t hear anything, only the drumming of your heart in your eardrums.
Steve’s lips brush against yours gently, unsure of where to take this. Normally, the girl would’ve started pulling at his pants by now, desperate to feel him. But with you, it’s different.
You savor his kiss, gasping when you feel his tongue swiping over your bottom lip. You let him in, your hands tangling in his hair. There’s a certain desperation about the kiss, but it’s not sexual.
It’s desperation to let him know that he’s safe with you. He’ll never have to feel unwanted again.
His tongue moves against yours, exploring the deepest depths of you. You feel, in this moment, indestructible. Nothing else matters because,
Steve Rogers is kissing you.
He pulls away, nuzzling his forehead against yours. His lips are pink and swollen, matching the pink tint on his cheeks. You take a deep breath, humming as you open your eyes.
Summary:You patch things up with Steve, but will Laurie take you back?
Word Count: 1300
Warnings:Language, fluff, angst.
A/N:Well, this is not my best, but I still like this one. Hope you guys do too! Also, not my gif. Credit to the owner. You know the drill.
He answered after one ring. “Hello?” God, you missed his voice.
“Steve,” you breathed, tears still streaming down your face. It was like a dam had broken and now your eyes were flooded. Your voice was shaking, and you had to speak quietly so you wouldn’t cry anymore. “It’s me.”
It was quiet on his end for a moment or two, and then you heard him sigh. Was he relieved? “Thank God.” He said breathlessly, and you could almost picture him running his hands through his hair.
“And you’re sure?” Steve asked for about the thousandth time.
“Yes,” You insisted, grabbing his hands. You stood in your living room, by the front door. As soon as Steve had walked in you had rushed over to him. “Yes, I’m sure. It’ll be hard, but I’d rather see you a little bit at a time then not at all.” You laced your fingers together with his.
He grinned slowly, his eyes nearly sparkling as he looked down at you. You could almost hear the ocean when you looked in his eyes. “Okay?” you said after he didn’t say anything, squeezing his hands gently to make sure he was still alive.
“Okay,” he chuckled, bending down slightly to kiss you. You helped him fill the space by standing just slightly on your toes, your lips meeting in the middle. God, I missed this, you thought, moving your lips against his. Soon his hands let go of yours and traveled to your waist, pulling you closer. You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, not opening your eyes or breaking the connection between him for one second. He lifted you up off the ground and spun you around for a second, causing you to giggle into his mouth.
Finally he set you down, and you parted, grinning at him with slightly flushed cheeks. “I missed you so much,” you said, pulling him more into your apartment.
“I missed you too, doll,” he replied, chuckling. “I thought about coming into the store a few times, and buying a phone case again. But I figured you would need your space.”
You smiled as you remembered the first time you had met him. You just knew him as Captain America then, this man who fought to protect the world and had been frozen for like, a hundred years (not a hundred, but you didn’t know the exact number). But now, you knew him as Steve, this kind, wonderful, amazing man who swept you off your feet and made you feel so happy, and safe, and invincible.
You spent the night holed up in your apartment with Steve, catching up on the last month you’d missed with him. He told you what he could about all the missions he’d been on, and shared a few stories of being recognized in public. You told him about your fight with Laurie, and how you felt so guilty about leaving things the way they were with her.
“Well, then, you have to talk to her,” Steve said. You were sitting on the couch with him now, talking. He reached over and brushed your hair behind your ears. “You guys have been friends too long just to let it fizzle out like that.”
You thought it was sweet how much he cared, and moved so that you weren’t facing him anymore; instead, your back was pressed against his chest, legs extending across the couch. He pressed a kiss against the top of your head and you could feel his chest rising and falling- steady and sure.
“You’re probably right,” you sighed, closing your eyes. He ran his fingers through your hair. “Tomorrow,” you promised, letting out a yawn. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”
You stood in front of Laurie’s apartment, an olive branch in hand. Not an actual olive branch, but a peace offering of sorts. It was a plastic bag full of Laurie’s favorite candy and makeup from work. You glanced down at your phone. A text from Steve helped you work up the courage to knock.
You can do this, doll. Just talk to her.
-Steve
You took in a deep breath, and, with your free hand, knocked on the door.
After a few moments, Laurie answered. She frowned when she saw it was you, and just stood there. She didn’t say anything, just stared at you with her arms crossed over her chest. You swallowed the lump in your throat.
“I, uh, I brought you this,” you said, handing her the bag. She glanced down in to it and, after moments of consideration, allowed you to come inside.
“I’m sorry I was such an asshole,” you spoke again, biting your lip. “I shouldn’t have taken all my frustrations with Steve out on you, and I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was being a bad friend, and you were being a good friend by calling me out on my bullshit.”
You sighed. You’d said your piece, and now all you had to do was wait for Laurie to forgive you… or decide she never wanted to see you again.
After minutes- literally, minutes- of agonizing silence, Laurie rolled her eyes. “You swear you’re done acting like a lunatic?” she asked, looking at you.
“Yes,” you said, smiling softly. “Yes. Lunacy over. They’ve released me from the asylum.”
“Well, then, get over here, you dumb-ass,” Laurie said, opening her arms. You stepped forward and hugged your best friend, feeling all the pieces finally fall into place.
After the hug, you and Laurie spent the evening watching your favorite movies, quoting the lines you knew so well. She ordered Thai food and pizza and you pigged out with her on food you didn’t need, but damn did it taste good. You split a bottle of wine with her and sang stupid songs at the top of your lungs, and you were so happy to have your best friend back.
The next day, you met with Steve at the grocery store. He only had an hour to spare today to see you, and you had to go shopping for the week before you went to work. You spotted the faded blue baseball cap and knew it was him.
Holding the basket in one hand and Steve’s hand in the other, the two of you walked down the aisles and you occasionally would toss something in the basket. You held a conversation with your boyfriend, talking to him about stuff that didn’t really matter. Then finally, as you approached the produce section, he brought up something that did matter.
“So, Stark- Tony, I mean - is hosting this big, stupid party to celebrate the Avengers being together for three years,” he said, and you chuckled to yourself. “What?” He asked, nudging you with his shoulder.
“That’s so sweet,” you said, grabbing an apple and putting it in the basket. “It’s like an anniversary party. An Aveng-iversary.” You laughed, because you thought you were hilarious.
Steve didn’t. He just shook his head and rolled his eyes. “You are insane,” he said, scoffing at you lightly. “But as I was saying, he’s having this big party, and he told us we could invite whoever we want. And I want you.” He stopped, then scrunched his face slightly. “To be there. I want you to come with me. It’s next Saturday. Can you make it?”
You thought of the work schedule and after a moment or two, nodded. “Yeah, I can make it,” You said, grinning.
“Good,” He said, kissing the side of your head. “Cause my coworkers can’t wait to meet you.”
“Coworkers?” You scoffed. “You mean, the rest of the Avengers?”
Steve nodded, and it dawned on you. A night meeting the rest of the Avengers? Holy shit. You were in trouble.
WORD COUNT: 10,251 (and I am NOT sorry) WARNINGS: Angst, drama, courtroom proceedings, talk of murder, talk of and actual illegal dealings, explicit sexual content, violence AUTHOR’S NOTE: This extra-long chapter is jam-packed and it is a doozy. Good luck, turtledoves. Buckle up for this ride.
Steve paced his bedroom, bare feet sinking into the plush carpet as his long strides took him from one wall to another. He no longer felt the sharp claws of panic digging into his chest; instead, a sense of dread was deep in his gut, so dark he wanted to gather you in his arms, crawl into bed, pull the covers over the two of you and never see the light of day again.
He stopped, clearing his throat, giving a hard shake of his head. He took in a breath, letting it out slowly, lifting his chin and once again rehearsing the words he’d say at the courthouse.
Today was his last chance.
Today would be the last day of your trial. A day of nothing but closing arguments, where Fury would lay out the facts he had presented, ticking off bullet points given by his expert witnesses, bringing up as many of Steve’s failures as he could. Natasha would sit at Fury’s side perfectly poised with her back straight, fiery hair smooth, the picture of Lady Justice.
After Fury gave his closing remarks, Steve would give an impassioned plea that the jury see you as he did, as you were: innocent. He’d do his best to lay seeds of doubt in the jury’s mind where Fury and Natasha were concerned, focusing on the holes in their stories.
Steve nodded, going into his bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. His hair was in place, beard neatly trimmed. Once he got dressed, he’d be as poised as Natasha.
As long as no one looked in his eyes.
Steve sank to one knee, propping his elbow on his knee. He covered his mouth with one hand, the other gripping hard onto the counter. He closed his eyes and gave in for just a moment, allowing the horror nudging at his mind to wash over him.
“Steve?”
He opened his eyes at the gentle knock on his bedroom door, pushing to his feet.
“Yeah, come in.”
He heard the door open, heard the shuffling of soft footsteps before you were standing in the bathroom doorway.
“Sorry, I was …”
Steve flicked his eyes to the mirror, looking at you instead of his reflection. Your eyes were wide as you studied his bare torso, and they widened the slightest bit more when you caught Steve smiling at you. You looked away, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you fought the smile. Steve chuckled, grabbing his toothbrush out of the holder and wetting it, applying toothpaste and starting to brush his teeth.
You cleared your throat, glancing at the floor before you looked to him.
“I was just making sure you were ready. It’s almost time to go and I hadn’t seen you.”
Steve nodded, bending to spit in the sink before rinsing.
“I’m just in my head today.” “I expect today will be tough for you?”
Steve nodded, putting the toothbrush back and grabbing his bottle of mouthwash. He took a swig and started swishing the liquid in his mouth, letting his head fall back as he gargled before spitting the mouthwash into the sink. He pressed the hand towel to his lips, closing his eyes for a moment.
His eyes opened again at the gentle touch between his shoulder blades. He wiped his mouth and set the towel to the side, turning to face you, leaning against the counter. His hands went to your hips, pulling you to stand between his legs, and you looped your arms around his neck, giving a quiet sigh as he nodded again.
“Today is going to be tough. I’ve got to basically rehash everything we’ve said and done during the trial, reminding the jury of every misstep Fury and Nat took.”
Wouldn’t be too many of those, unfortunately. Steve sighed, licking his lips as he met your eyes again.
“Fury’s going to be tough on you today.” “But I’m not going to be questioned again?”
Steve shook his head.
“Do you remember in school, how we reviewed for finals?” “High school was a long time ago, Steve.”
He smiled.
“I know. But you remember, right? How the teacher had to basically sum up everything we’d learned that year, condensing nine months’ worth of instruction and homework and tests into one final?”
You nodded, and Steve gently squeezed your hips.
“That’s what I’ve got to do today. Bring up every aspect of how innocent you are, what Brock did to you, how even though the bastard deserved what he got, you weren’t the one to give it to him.”
You slowly nodded, closing your eyes as Steve pressed his lips to your forehead. You leaned closer to him, keeping your eyes closed as you rested your head against his bare shoulder. Steve sighed as he leaned his head against yours, closing his eyes as he held you.
“We’re going to get through this, Y/N. I promise.”
You blinked open your eyes, staring at your reflection in the mirror. You nodded, forcing yourself to smile.
“I know.”
You could see the lie in your eyes, thankful that Steve had his eyes closed.
You walked into the apartment and took your shoes off, walking in your stocking-covered feet to the windows. Steve was behind you, setting his briefcase by his shoes and undoing his tie. Bucky was behind him, and Peggy rounded out your crew. She slid her shoes off beside yours, following you to the windows. You glanced over your shoulder when she was close, and she smiled at you.
“That went very well.” “Did it?”
Peggy nodded.
“As well as could be expected. Bucky and I watched the jury, and Steve’s impassioned pleas got to some of them.”
You swallowed.
“Someof them.”
You crossed your arms over your chest and looked back out the windows. You closed your eyes when Peggy’s gentle hand touched your shoulder.
“We just need one, darling.”
You nodded, looking back out the window, seeing Steve’s reflection in the glass. He was staring at you, and you wanted nothing more than to run to him, bury your face in his chest and let him hold you. You didn’t feel like you could do that with Peggy there, so you let your arms fall, turning to face Peggy.
“I need just a minute.” “Of course.”
You stepped past her, going down the hallway to your room. You could feel Steve’s eyes on you, but you made it to your room, closing the door behind you and leaning against it for a moment. You went to the closet, dropping your jacket to the ground on the way. You unbuttoned your shirt and pulled it free of your skirt, letting it fall as your shaky hands pushed through your clothes. You could feel your breath coming faster, feel your heart pounding in your chest. You finally found the shirt you were looking for, hands shaking too hard to get the shirt free of the hanger. You hung your head, looking over your shoulder as you heard your door open.
“Y/N?”
You couldn’t answer, but you figured he must know that. Steve poked his head in to see you standing there in your bra and skirt, and you shook your head.
“I can’t … I can’t get it down. I can’t …”
Steve stepped up behind you and pulled the hanger off the rack, carefully sliding it free, holding the olive-colored shirt in his hands. You watched as he slid the shirt over your head, and as soon as your arms were through the sleeves, he had you wrapped in his own. You gasped, wrapping your arms around him and holding him tightly, moaning softly when he tightened his hold on you.
“I got you. You’re okay. I’m right here.”
You nodded, putting your face in his neck. Steve held you against him, your heartbeat frantic against the steady beat of his own.
You whimpered as he bent his head, shivering when the heat of his breath washed over your neck. Your nails dug into his shoulders and Steve bared his teeth for just a moment.
“You’ve got to calm down, honey. Please. Just breathe for me.” “Steve.” “I’m right here.”
Your hand moved to his cheek, the softness of his beard tickling your palm. He lifted his head the same time you did, and with a gentle nudge of your wrist, your lips were on his. Steve gave a quiet groan as he deepened the kiss, one hand moving to cradle the back of your head. One of your hands slid into his hair, feeling yourself relax with each movement of Steve’s lips against yours. You sucked in a breath and let out a soft laugh against his lips when Steve’s hand slid beneath your shirt, the warmth of his palm burning into the bare skin of your waist.
“We need to stop before Peggy walks in.” “Okay.”
You nodded, making no moves to stop kissing him. Steve chuckled as your fingers slid through his hair, pulling him back when he tried to pull away.
“We’ll have a lot of explaining to do if Peggy catches us.” “You think she doesn’t know?”
Steve blinked as he looked down, watching your dazed eyes slowly blink a few times before you lifted your eyes to his. Steve smiled, leaning in to press one more kiss to your lips.
“I’d like to revisit this …”
He motioned between the two of you with one finger.
“A little later, when we’re alone.” “As you wish, counselor.”
Steve groaned, turning away from you and putting his forehead against the wall.
“You can’t say things like that.” “Like what?”
Your eyes were wide and innocent, and Steve laughed as he took you back into his arms.
“You okay now?”
You nodded, leaning your head against his.
“Thank you.” “Anytime.”
He kissed your temple before he turned and left the closet. You closed your eyes and gave a deep exhale, shimmying out of your skirt and pantyhose, pulling on a pair of leggings. You grabbed the cardigan Steve had given you, squaring your shoulders and nodding once before you left the closet.
Steve was looking over files as he sat on the couch while you tried to read a book. Peggy and Bucky had left after the four of you ate Chinese takeout for dinner, their talks of the trial mostly going over your head. Steve kept nudging your ankle with his toes under the table, smiling at you when you’d look at him.
“Are you ever going to turn the page?”
You blinked as you lifted your head from the book in your lap. Steve was looking at the paper he held in his hand, a smile on his face. After a moment, he set the paper aside, turning towards you. You stared at him, until a chuckle spilled from his lips.
“You’ve been on that same page ever since we sat down. You’re not reading at all.”
You huffed as you set the book aside.
“I can’t focus. My mind’s all over the place and I feel like I could crawl out of my skin.”
Steve nodded.
“I know. It’s the trial.” “I know it’s the trial, but why am I still acting like this?”
Steve stood up, walking over to your side of the couch and sitting beside you. You sucked in a breath as he scooped you up, sitting you in his lap, settling back and running his fingers up and down your arm. You gave a quiet whimper, relaxing into him and resting your head on his shoulder.
“You’re all wound up from the trial. Everything’s hitting you at once.” “I don’t like it.” “I know.”
Steve chuckled, letting his hand drift lower, until he was gently massaging your knee.
“I, uh… I think I remember a way to relax you.”
You raised an eyebrow a few moments before you sat back. Steve slowly turned his head to meet your eyes, and you watched his eyes dip to your lips before meeting yours again. You smiled, shifting until you were straddling his lap. You put your hands on his shoulders and he shook his head.
“This may be a bad idea.” “I think I’m due for a bad idea.”
Steve laughed as his warm hands moved to cup your cheeks. You gave a quiet sigh as he gently tugged you down, until your lips were pressed against his.
“How long will the jury deliberate?”
You and Steve were cuddled together on the couch, watching the snow fall outside the big windows. You had his cardigan wrapped around you, your back to his side. His arm was loosely around your waist, his other hand absentmindedly tapping on the arm of the couch.
“There’s no way to tell. They could come back now, or they could deliberate for the rest of the month.”
You slowly nodded, giving a deep exhale. Steve turned his head to kiss the top of yours.
“It’s going to be fine, babe. Whatever happens, you’ll be fine.” “That’s easy for you to say.” “Y/N, I promised I was going to get you out of this. I meant it.” “You did the best you could, Steve. I just …” “What? Hope it was enough?”
You looked down at your hands.
“I didn’t say that.” “I know. Honey, hey. Look at me.”
You shook your head, so Steve slid off the couch until he was on the floor in front of you. He gently touched you, lifting your chin until your eyes were on his. He shook his head again.
“I’m not going to let you go to jail.” “Steve—“ “No, I mean it.”
You shook your head.
“It’s not up to you. It’s in the jury’s hands now.”
Steve nodded, but something in his eyes made you stop. You tilted your head, shaking it slightly.
“Steve, what did you do?”
Steve’s blue eyes burned into yours, neither of you saying a word until his soft voice broke the silence.
“Come on. Let’s go to bed.” “Steve.”
He stood to his feet, holding a hand out for you.
“Steve, talk to me.” “When there’s something to talk about, we will. Until then, let’s go to bed.”
You stared up at him, a smile coming to his lips.
“Do I need to throw you over my shoulder caveman style? I’ll do it.” “I want you to tell me—“ “I will, I promise. Just be with me now.”
You closed your eyes, gasping softly when Steve bent to gather you in his arms. You put your face against his chest, looping one arm around his neck as he carried you down the hall to your bedroom.
You were standing at the stove, oven mitt on one hand, holding tightly to the glass bowl you had over a pot of simmering water. Your wrist was working a whisk, doing your best to ensure the hollandaise sauce turned out. Steve was sitting at the bar watching you, elbow on the counter, chin on his hand.
“Did it work?” “Not finished yet.”
Steve hummed to himself, biting his lip as he watched you concentrate. He watched as you slowed your whisking, lifting the whisk from the sauce, watching it drip silkily back into the bowl. You turned to him with a big smile on your face.
“It worked!”
Steve gave a soft laugh, sitting back as he watched you plate the breakfast you’d worked so hard on, spooning the sauce over the top of the eggs Benedict. You set a plate in front of him and he grabbed hold of your hand.
“Would you go to culinary school?”
You smiled, giving his hand a squeeze.
“I don’t know.” “Why not?” “I’m too old.” “Babe, you’re never too old.”
You looked down at your hand in Steve’s, the gentle way his thumb slid over your skin.
“I’d like to, but I don’t know if I’d make it.” “You’d make it.” “You’re just saying that because you like what I feed you. Cooking is a very competitive field.” “It doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to go to culinary school and then open your own restaurant and cook for kings. You could go because you love it and to hone your skill. Graduate and use the degree to cook for me.”
You gave a sharp laugh.
“Think that highly of yourself, do you?” “Let’s be honest, I’d gain so much weight if you did that.”
You laughed again, smiling when Steve lifted your hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.
“If you want to go to culinary school, we’ll make it happen. If you want to just watch YouTube tutorials and use me as your guinea pig, I’m good with that, too.”
Your smile softened as he took a bite, the groan of appreciation that left his lips causing your cheeks to warm. You ate your breakfast as Steve gobbled his up, and once he was debating licking his plate, you spoke softly.
“Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself?”
Steve finished the coffee at his elbow, shaking his head.
“Y/N, I’ve told you—“ “I need you to stop acting like me going to prison isn’t an option. There’s a very real chance the jury finds me guilty, Steve.” “They won’t. I made sure that they see you as I do and I—“ “Steve.”
You blew out a breath, shaking your head as you set your hands on your hips. Your eyes met his and you shook your head again, mouth opening, then closing as the doorbell rang. Steve shook his head, making no moves to get up.
“They’ll go away.”
There was a knock at the door this time and you sighed.
“I don’t think they will.” “Y/N—“ “I’ll just go to my room. I’m not feeling very up to company right now.”
Steve repeated your name, but you just touched your palm to his cheek as you walked by him, going down the hallway to your room, pulling his cardigan tighter around you. The knock resounded off the door again and Steve blew out a breath as he stood up and walked over to fling open the door.
“Easy, killer. Where’s the fire?”
Steve hung his head as Tony walked past him to let himself in. Steve closed the door and turned to lean against it, slowly lifting his head and opening his eyes. Tony raised an eyebrow and Steve shook his head, walking through the penthouse to his office, Tony following close behind. Once there, Steve locked the door, then turned to the man he considered his brother.
“Did you get it?”
Tony pulled out a sealed Manila envelope.
“Of course I got it.”
Steve nodded, taking the envelope and tapping it against his palm.
“How much do I owe?” “Don’t worry about it.” “Tony—“ “Hey. You want to protect her, I want to protect you. This is how it goes. If this ever goes down, there’s nothing leading to you.” “So, what? You’ll take the blame?” “Hell no. There’s nothing leading to me, either. I know there’s a song to the opposite and all, but you want to keep friends in high places, counselor.”
Steve snorted, tapping the envelope against his palm again.
“And it’s all in here?”
Tony nodded, eyes darting to the envelope before he let out a sigh.
“Look, there’s something in there for you, too.”
Steve’s eyebrows furrowed and Tony shook his head.
“I think we both know what’s going to happen when she finds out what’s in this envelope. I just know that if it were Pepper …”
His sentence trailed off as he looked at the envelope in Steve’s hands, then nodded. Steve swallowed, looking down, then back up.
“Tony—“ “Just …”
He shook his head, walking over and taking the envelope, using one hand to press it against Steve’s chest.
“The less I know the better.” “You’re in too deep as it is.” “Yeah, but I’m like a steel trap.”
Tony smiled as he patted the envelope against Steve’s chest. Steve took it, looking down at it as Tony walked to the door.
“Little brother?”
Steve lifted his head, a sad smile on Tony’s face.
“Whatever happens with this trial … whether you decide to use what’s in that envelope or not … I get it.” “I love her, Tony.” “I know. I’m just sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” “Tone—“
Tony shook his head, smiling back at Steve.
“We’ll talk when all this has blown over.”
For half a second, Steve wondered if Tony truly understood what he was saying. Tony’s smile slipped for a millisecond as he was unable to hide the wave of grief that slipped over his face, and Steve knew that Tony knew exactly what he was saying.
“Tony.”
Tony turned from his place at the door, one hand on the doorknob. He smiled again, nodding as he winked at Steve. Steve could only nod back, sinking into his desk chair as Tony walked out of the apartment.
You walked out of your bedroom, hoping whoever had been in the apartment had left. You were desperate to see Steve, to feel his arms around you and soak in his strength. You stopped in the living room, across from the wall of windows as he walked into the kitchen. He had a large envelope in his hand that he set on the counter, stopping and pulling his phone from his pocket. You watched a myriad of emotions cross his face as he read the text, and as his blue eyes lifted to you, you felt your heart sink to your toes.
“What is it?” “The jury reached a verdict. We’re due in court at nine A.M. tomorrow.”
You stared at him, slowly nodding as he slid the phone onto the kitchen counter. You turned to look out the windows and he made his way to you.
“Honey.”
You turned and threw your arms around him when he was near, body trembling almost violently in his arms. Steve closed his eyes, resting his head on yours.
“I’m here. You’re okay. I’m right here.” “What am I … oh god. Steve.” “Shh. You’re okay.”
You clung to him, holding him as tightly as he was holding you. Tears came to your eyes as you whispered almost silently.
“I’m so scared.”
Steve would have sworn his heart had broken then as he pulled you even closer.
“I’ve got you. Do you hear me, Y/N? I have you. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”
You gave a quiet whimper and Steve rubbed your back as he continued speaking.
“You’re okay. You’re going to be fine. You’re not going anywhere.”
You gave a shaky breath, then pushed your way out of his arms. Steve stared at you with worry in his eyes and confusion on his face and you shook your head.
“How can you say that?! How can you stand there and say everything is fine when it’s so clearly not?!”
Steve’s eyebrows raised as you shook your head again.
“Don’t stand there and say that I’m going to be fine because I won’t be.”
Steve pursed his lips and nodded.
“You’re not going to prison.” “You don’t know that.” “Yes, I do.” “It’s illegal for you to talk to the jury, so no, you don’t know.”
Steve turned and walked out of the room, and you closed your eyes, letting out a long breath. You lifted a hand to rub at your eyes, setting your jaw when he walked back into the room. He had the Manila envelope in his hand that he’d been carrying earlier, and he handed it to you. You shook your head, taking the envelope from him.
“What is this?” “Open it.”
You met his eyes, just staring at him for a moment before you bent the metal flaps at the back and opened the envelope. You looked inside, then back to Steve, walking to the bar in the kitchen and turning the envelope upside down, the contents spilling onto the bar. You glanced back at Steve as shaky fingers reached for the passport on top.
You opened the little book and your eyebrows furrowed. The face printed on the paper was your own, but the name was wrong. You shook your head, looking to Steve.
“What is this?”
He nodded to you, and you lifted a piece of paper. Your breath caught in your throat as you read the birth certificate. Most of the details were correct, such as the length and weight, but the location, the date, the name, and the names of the parents were wrong. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you looked back to Steve.
“What have you done?”
Steve put his hands in his pockets, slowly making his way to you.
“I’m not going to lie and say that I know all the business Tony does is above board. I’m not stupid or naive. I asked him for this.” “You asked him to … to what? Steal an identity?”
Steve chuckled.
“We didn’t steal anyone’s identity. We made you a new one.”
You could hear the blood rushing in your ears as you stared at the papers in front of you. You shook your head again, hand shaking as you laid it on the pile of papers before you.
“Steve.” “Look.”
He picked up the passport, looking at the name.
“Kathleen Michelle Barber. You could be Kat. Or Katie, Kate. We could call you Micki. Micki Barber doesn’t have anything to do with Y/N Rumlow. They don’t even know each other.” “Because Micki Barber isn’t real.”
Steve dropped the passport, taking hold of your hands.
“But she couldbe.”
You shook your head, pulling your hands free from his.
“I can’t pretend to be someone else. I’ll … I’ll spend the rest of my life on the run and I don’t want to do that.” “But you’ll be free.”
You shook your head again, raking your hands through your hair.
“I spent my whole adult life wanting to hide from Brock.”
You closed your eyes at the word, face screwing up as if the taste of his name was sour on your tongue. You shook your head again, meeting Steve’s eyes.
“I can’t spend the rest of my life as a fugitive. I can’t keep looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can’t, Steve.” “Even if it’s the only way?”
You went still, the weight of his words hitting you. You turned your head to see his eyes on the papers on the bar, lip bit between his teeth.
“Oh.”
He lifted his eyes to yours and you tried to smile.
“Oh.”
Steve shook his head and you lifted a shaky hand to rest on his shoulder. Your lips trembled as you tried to keep your tears at bay, tried to keep smiling.
“You think we’re going to lose.”
He didn’t answer you, just lifted the saddest eyes you’d ever seen to look at you. You nodded, gently squeezing his shoulder.
“You wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble if you didn’t think we’d …”
You nodded again, looking at the papers and biting the inside of your cheek. Steve spoke softly.
“I’m so sorry.” “Oh, honey. No.”
You turned to face him, lifting your hands to cup his face. You smiled, giving a tiny shake of your head.
“You did the best you could. You did your very best, and I know that.” “It wasn’t enough.” “It was for me.”
Steve closed his eyes, tilting his head into your touch. You kept hold of his face, turning your head to stare at the papers on the bar. Steve pressed his lips to your forehead, the soft sound of his voice making you close your eyes.
“It’s legit. No one would ever question any of the papers. There’s a driver’s license, birth certificate, GED certificate. There’s a black card with no limit.” “I can’t use that.” “You can. Tony set up the account weeks ago. He won’t even notice the money’s gone. You could get a penthouse like this one. A little cottage in the woods. A bungalow on the beach. Anything you want.”
Your eyes slowly opened and your hands slid from his face to hang at your sides. You turned to face him, reaching up to his chest and taking hold of his sweater in both your hands.
“What if I want you?”
Steve stared at you, hands moving to your waist. You turned your head slightly when he kissed your temple, and you leaned over, moving the pile of papers. Your fingers picked up another small booklet, and you brought it between you and Steve, looking up at him.
“Why would I need two passports?”
Steve took the booklet from you, opening it and feeling his heart give a double-thump in his chest. You went on your tiptoes, peering over the passport to see the picture and name inside. You went back to your flat feet, staring up at Steve, waiting until he lifted his eyes and met yours. He shook his head, looking back down at the passport in his hand.
“I didn’t … I don’t …”
You took hold of his wrist, moving it until you could read the name.
“Andrew Stephen Barber.”
He met your eyes again and you smiled softly.
“Andy? Andy and Micki?”
Steve shook his head, staring down at the passport again.
“This is what he meant.” “Hmm?”
Steve met your eyes, waving the passport slightly.
“Tony, he said there was something for me in the envelope. Said he’d want it if it was Pepper.”
Steve looked back down, at the face staring back at him from the passport, rolling his fingers over the name. You reached back into the pile, a shaky breath leaving your lips when you slid the marriage certificate where Steve could read it. He looked from the paper to you, then back to the paper. You gently took hold of his wrist, waiting until he looked into your eyes.
“Would you come with me?”
He didn’t answer you, and you smiled.
“You have a whole life here, Steve. A family. A job. You can’t leave it.”
He threw the passport onto the bar, grabbing your waist and pulling you close.
“I’d leave it all behind for you.” “I can’t ask you to do that.” “It won’t matter if you’re not here.”
You lifted your hands to his face and he closed his eyes, blowing out a breath. He opened his eyes again and stared at you.
“I’ll do it.” “Steve.” “We can leave tonight.” “And what, never look back?”
Steve nodded, and you let out a quiet laugh. You moved your thumbs along the dip of his cheeks and shook your head.
“I can’t take you away from your friends and family.” “Well, I can’t let them take you away from me.” “Steve—“
He shut you up by laying his lips against yours, kissing you soundly as he pulled you closer. You felt the air seem to shift between you as you slid your arms around him, and Steve gave a soft groan as his lips moved against yours. You pushed your hands under his sweater and he groaned, leaning back to pull the sweater over his head. He gave a quiet laugh when you huffed a breath at his white t-shirt, pulling that over his head and letting it fall to the floor on top of the sweater. You looked up at him as you let the cardigan fall off your shoulders, pooling on the ground. You pulled your t-shirt off and let it fall, and Steve swallowed as he touched you, his big, warm hands skating across your skin, bringing goosebumps in their wake.
“We should slow down. I don’t want you to get overwhelmed.” “I’m okay, Steve.”
You weren’t trembling, nothing in your brain screaming at you to stop or remember how it had been in the past. All you could focus on was Steve, how good he smelled and how good his hands felt on you. You shivered and moved closer to him, and he smiled as he pulled you against his chest. His hands cupped your face as he spoke softly.
“I don’t want you to think we have to do this just because something might happen tomorrow.”
You shook your head.
“I don’t. I just want to be with you, Steve. I just want you.”
Steve held your face in his hands as he leaned in, his lips finding yours in a sweet kiss. He let his hands fall, taking hold of your hand as he led you from the living room down to his bedroom. Your eyes widened at the sight of his huge bed, and he walked to it, sitting down on the edge and pulling you to stand between his thighs.
“You’re in charge here.”
You nodded, and Steve went on.
“If you want to stop at any time, just say so.”
You nodded again, and he gave your hand a squeeze.
“I want you to hear me, sweetheart.” “I hear you.” “I mean it. If you’re the slightest bit uncomfortable, we will stop.”
You slid your arms around his neck, shivering when his warm hands pushed you closer to his chest. You stared into his eyes and smiled.
“Move your hands up.”
He did as you asked, one eyebrow raising when you nodded for him to keep going. When his fingers came to rest at the clasp of your bra, you smiled while your cheeks flamed. Steve gave a quiet chuckle, opening the clasp and taking hold of the straps, keeping hold of your bra as you stepped backwards out of it.
He let out a long exhale as he stared at you, dropping the bra to the floor as he stood up and took a step towards you. You let him get a bit closer, then you took a step back. Steve stopped, holding up his hands and stepping back towards the bed.
“No, come … come on.”
Steve tilted his head as he stared at you, and you nodded, a smile on your face.
“It’s okay.”
Steve gave a slow nod, then took a step towards you. You took a step back, and the two of you continued that little dance until your back was against the wall. Steve smiled as he laid one hand against the wall beside your head, dipping his own to rub his nose against yours.
“You playing with me, sweetheart?”
You smiled, sliding one hand to his hip just above his jeans, watching his eyes close as you slid your hand to the small of his back. Steve leaned closer, making his hand into a fist and resting his forearm against the wall. Your eyes slid closed as your fingers flexed, gently pushing on his back. Steve moved closer and a breath caught in your throat.
“You okay?”
You nodded, opening your eyes to see him staring down at you, ensuring you were okay. You smiled, lifting your chin and pressing your lips to his. Steve kissed you back, moving a hand to hold your cheek. Your fingers shook the slightest bit when you reached down to undo his belt, sliding it through the belt loops and dropping it to the floor. Steve moved to rest his forehead against yours as he watched you unbutton his jeans and slide the zipper down. He kissed your forehead and you gave a shaky exhale, lifting your head so he could kiss your lips.
Steve slid his fingers under the waistband of your leggings, and you sucked in a breath. He knelt as he slowly pulled your leggings down, and you laid a hand on his shoulder as you stepped out of them. Steve turned his head and kissed your knee, standing up only to push his jeans off and step out of them.
He turned and put both hands on the wall behind you, and you closed your eyes, letting your head fall as you arched your back, bumping your chest against Steve’s. After a moment, you opened your eyes, staring into Steve’s. His eyes narrowed the slightest bit and you nodded, your eyes closing again when he dipped his head and kissed your lips.
You wrapped your arms around him when he lifted you in his arms, tunneling your fingers through his hair as he carried you to the bed. He laid you down, letting his hands slowly drift down your sides until he was at your hips. Your exhale was shaky when he dipped to press his lips against the center of your chest, and you closed your eyes as you felt his lips against your skin as he kissed his way down your body. You jolted when you felt his fingers slide under the waistband of your panties, and you lifted your hips to help him take them off.
“You okay?”
You nodded, and Steve spoke softly as he took hold of your ankle, silently urging you to bend your knee.
“Sweetheart?” “I’m okay.” “You’d tell me if you weren’t?”
You nodded again, taking the hand Steve reached towards you, lacing your fingers with his.
“This okay?” “Yes.”
You kept a tight hold of his hand, eyes flying open as a shocked gasp left you when his tongue slipped through your folds. He did it again, only for you to whimper and whisper an oh my god. He lifted one of your legs to rest on his shoulder, his nose nudging your clit as he continued his ministrations with his tongue. He tugged on your hand, pulling it down to rest in his hair, his hand moving to gently grasp your breast.
“Steve.”
You moaned when he lifted his head, shivering at the feel of his warm breath against your damp skin.
“I’m here, baby.”
You nodded, and he gave an almost-silent chuckle when you pushed his head back between your legs. You gasped when you felt his tongue again, and the sweetest moan of his name escaped your throat. Your hand tightened in his hair and Steve increased his efforts. You shook your head, groans and barely coherent semblances of his name leaving your lips. You gave a sob when Steve gently pushed one finger into you, and as his fingertip brushed across a spot that made your blood turn to fire in your veins, you felt every muscle in your body tighten painfully for a split second. Then, bliss filled your veins and encased every nerve ending. Steve closed his eyes as your breathy chants of his name warmed his heart, and when your body collapsed on the bed, he gently moved to hover over you.
Your eyes were wide as you stared into his, your hand shaking so badly as you lifted it to his cheek you were afraid you might slap him. Steve covered your hand with his, turning his head to place a kiss to the center of your palm and you shook your head.
“You …” “It’s okay. Just breathe.”
You shook your head, pressing your palm more firmly against his cheek.
“I never … you …”
Steve smiled softly as he moved a hand to tuck your hair behind your ear, his fingertips gently caressing your face. You closed your eyes and took in a shaky breath, letting it out slowly, opening your eyes to stare into his.
“You’re the only one who’s ever made me feel like that.”
Steve’s eyes widened, one eyebrow raising. You felt your cheeks heat, but you shook your head, taking hold of his face and bringing it down until you could kiss his lips. Steve settled his body on top of yours and you moaned into his mouth, letting your hands travel down his neck, his chest, over his wide shoulders and to his tiny waist. You moved your hips, smiling when Steve groaned.
“Baby—“ “I’m okay.” “We don’t have to—“ “I know.”
You leaned up to kiss him again, speaking softly against his lips.
“I want to.” “Don’t do this just because you think I want it.”
You shook your head, and he sighed.
“I don’t want you to think I’m only making love to you because you might be going away tomorrow.”
You smiled, moving your hands back to hold his face. Steve closed his eyes, reveling in your touch as his hips unintentionally rubbed against yours. You gave a quiet gasp, and he opened his eyes to see you smiling at him.
“I just want to be as close to you as I can. No matter what happens tomorrow, I want this tonight. I want you, Steve.”
He lowered his head and kissed your lips. You bent your knees and moved your legs to either side of Steve’s hips. You watched him sit up, felt the bed move as he stood to take off his underwear. He moved to kneel between your legs and caught your eye.
“You’ll tell me if you’re uncomfortable?”
You nodded and Steve nodded as he reached between your legs, his thumb rubbing through your wetness. You gave a soft moan and he gave a shaky exhale.
“Steve?”
He lifted his eyes to yours and you nodded to him. He took the hint, moving to hover over you again, and you lifted up to kiss him. Your arms wove around him as the two of you kissed, and you dug your nails into his back when he started to push inside you. You broke from the kiss just to breathe, and Steve moved one hand to cradle your head. You shook your head, speaking softly.
“Wait.” “Okay.”
Your heart was pounding in your chest, and Steve was pressing gentle kisses to your cheek and forehead until you nodded. You groaned when he pushed in deeper, sobbing out a breath when he ducked his head to rest his forehead against yours.
“God, you’re so tight.” “Steve—ohgod.”
His groan mixed with yours when he bottomed out, and he lifted his head to see your wide eyes staring back at him. He bent to kiss your lips, just soaking in the warmth and the feel of you. He groaned when you clenched around him, shaking his head.
“You okay?” “Move. Please, move.”
He did as you asked, your drawn-out moan radiating through him. He grabbed one of your hands and pushed it to the bed beside your head, his hand moving down your arm until his palm was flush with, fingers twined with yours. He groaned again, shaking his head as your hips worked to meet his.
“God, I missed you. I need you.” “Steve.” “Stay with me.”
Tears came to your eyes as you looped your arm around his neck, pulling yourself up to kiss him. Your head fell back when Steve increased his thrusts, your next orgasm taking you by surprise as much as the first one had. Steve groaned as you clenched around him so tightly he could barely move, and he buried his face in your hair as you gasped and breathed his name. Steve’s drawn-out groan seemed to rattle up from deep in his chest, his hips stilling as he reached his peak.
Steve lifted his head from your shoulder, gently pressing his lips to your skin before shifting to look at your face. You were staring up at the ceiling, chest heaving with every breath you took.
“Sweetheart?”
You didn’t answer him, and Steve swallowed as he moved into your line of sight.
“Y/N, talk to me. Please.”
God, he hatedhimself right then. He knew you weren’t ready for something as big as this. He pulled out as gently as he could, preparing to find his phone and call Peggy to see if she could bring you back when your hands quickly went to his back, stilling his movements.
“Hey, baby. Y/N?”
You met his eyes, your own full of tears. Steve’s heart fell and you shook your head, one hand moving to cup his face.
“I don’t want to go to jail.” “Sweetheart.” “I want to stay here with you.” “I know.”
You shook your head, a sob escaping your throat as tears slid down your cheeks. Steve lowered his body back onto yours, closing his eyes when you wrapped your arms around him.
“I’m so scared.” “I know, baby. I know.”
You cried into his shoulder as he held you, his soft murmurs barely registering with you. When your sobs died down some, Steve spoke softly into your ear.
“We’ll take those documents tomorrow and we’ll go. Just you and me. We’ll be okay, I promise.” “Steve.” “Shh. I got you. I’ll take care of you. Didn’t I tell you that? Haven’t I shown you that I won’t let anything bad happen to you?”
You whimpered as he closed his eyes, lips at your ear as he whispered the next words.
“Can’t you see how much I love you?”
You gasped at the words, pushing him gently until there was space between you to look up at his face. His hand moved to cup your cheek and he shook his head.
“Don’t say it back until you mean it. I don’t care how long that takes.” “I’m sorry.” “Shh, no. It’s okay. After everything you’ve been through, I get it. I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.”
He ducked his head to kiss your cheek before putting his face in your hair. One of your hands shook as you tunneled your fingers through his hair.
“Steve—“ “Don’t say anything.”
You gave a soft whimper and he pulled away, moving off of you, laying on the bed beside you. You closed your eyes and went to roll away from him, but Steve gathered you in his arms, pulling your back against his chest, curling his body around yours. You kept your eyes closed, one hand lifting to grip his wrist.
“I’ve got you, sweetheart. Just rest.”
You nodded, then let go of him, pushing gently until he let you go. You rolled onto your side facing him, wrapping your arms around his neck. Steve pulled you closer, one of his thighs pushing between your legs until you wrapped your leg around his hip.
“I’m here. I’ve got you.”
He pressed his lips to your forehead, one hand moving to rest against the small of your back.
“Sleep, beautiful.”
You nodded, resting your head against his shoulder, sleep overtaking you before you knew it.
Your body was too hot, your skin feeling too tight when you woke in the middle of the night. You found yourself staring at Steve’s sleeping face, but you felt smothered, and you somehow managed to slither out of his hold without waking him up. He grumbled incoherent words, rolling into his stomach and shoving his arms under his pillow. You couldn’t help but smile, tiptoeing into the bathroom, then grabbing his shirt from the floor and pulling it over your head as you crept from the room.
The apartment felt cold as you made your way to the kitchen, and you wished you had your (Steve’s) cardigan. You grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, the cool liquid feeling like heaven on your parched throat. You took another drink, then turned to stare at the pile of documents on the counter.
You set the bottle aside, walking to pick up one of the papers. You read Kathleen Michelle Barber’s birth certificate, setting it aside. You picked up a driver’s license, staring at your face beside Kathleen’s name.
Micki. You’d liked Steve’s suggestion of calling you Micki.
You stared at the credit card with the smooth black face, shaking your head before pushing it aside. You picked up another document, staring down at the marriage license. Kathleen Michelle and Andrew Stephen, joined in matrimony on August third. You’d always thought you’d have a spring wedding, or maybe one deep in winter. Your bridesmaids would have stark red dresses that stood out against the snow.
You shook your head, rolling your fingertips over the signatures at the bottom of the license. It looked like your handwriting, but you didn’t really understand how. You lifted your eyes to the passports and papers and cards and shakily set the marriage license back down.
It would be so easy. You and Steve could disappear without a trace, you were sure of it. But you were also sure that Alexander Pierce would spend the rest of his life looking for you, and you couldn’t spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder. You pressed a hand to your mouth, eyes darting up when you heard the commotion and the calling of your name, Steve running into the kitchen and coming to a hard stop when he saw you standing there.
“Oh, Jesus. Goddamn it.” “Steve?” “I … I thought …”
He hung his head and you went to him, laying a gentle hand between his shoulder blades.
“I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”
He grabbed your other hand, holding it tightly as you gently rubbed his back. He shook his head, moving to take you into his arms, holding you tightly. You put your forehead against his shoulder, and after a moment, he maneuvered you until he could kiss you. His hands moved to cup your face as his lips moved against yours, and your hands came to rest on his hips. Steve lifted you into his arms, carrying you back down the hall. He laid you on the bed and moved over you, your hands digging into his thick shoulders as he pushed inside you. You moaned as Steve shook his head.
“I’m sorry. I can’t—“
He groaned as you dug your nails in, raking them down his back. You met his thrusts as best you could, feeling your insides start to twist as pressure started building in your core. Steve’s lips met your own, and on a particularly hard thrust, you turned your head and gasped as ecstasy burst through your veins. Steve groaned into your ear as his warmth filled you, his lips pressing against your forehead as his hips went still.
Steve rolled onto his back beside you, chest heaving as he stared at the ceiling. Your shaky hand slid into his and he pulled your joined hands to his chest. You turned your head to look at him, and he shook his head.
“That was … Did I hurt you?” “No, I’m okay.” “You sure?”
Steve turned his head to look at you and you smiled.
“I am more than okay, I promise.”
He shook his head.
“I didn’t mean to be so rough. I just … I woke up and you weren’t here and I … I panicked.”
You slid closer to him, leaning over him this time.
“I promise you, I’m not going to sneak out. I won’t leave without saying goodbye.”
Steve nodded, closing his eyes when you bent and kissed his lips. He lifted the hand not holding yours and rubbed his thumb over your cheek. You laid down beside him, putting your head on his chest, the steady thrum of his heart lulling you back to sleep.
You were wrapped in a towel, gently dragging a comb through your wet hair. Steve was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. You purposefully weren’t looking at him, and after a few silent minutes, Steve sighed.
“You’re not going to use the papers, are you?”
You slid the comb through your untangled hair and looked into the mirror, meeting his eyes. You set the comb on the counter, then turned to face him.
“I’m not going to run, Steve. I can’t spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Steve nodded, looking down at his feet.
“I’m sorry.”
Steve closed his eyes, pushing off from the door to kneel in front of you.
“Don’t be sorry. I didn’t think you’d go for it, if I’m being honest. I just … I just want to make sure you’re okay and keep you from going to prison for something you didn’t do.” “You did your best to make the jury see that, honey.”
You cupped his bearded cheeks in your hands and he closed his eyes.
“It’s going to be okay, Steve. Even if they find me guilty—“ “The only way it’ll be okay is if you’re back in my bed tonight where you belong.”
You blinked as his sapphire eyes stared into yours, and he leaned forward to kiss you before standing to his feet. Your arms fell back by your sides as Steve went to the sink to brush his teeth.
Not for the first time that morning, you stood on shaky legs and silently prayed that everything would be okay by the end of the day.
“Has the jury reached a verdict?” “We have, your honor.”
You stood at Steve’s gentle nod, glancing back to see Bucky and Peggy with grim smiles on their faces. You turned your attention to the jury and fought to keep your knees from giving out. Steve stood as close to you as he could without outright touching you, the fabric of his suit jacket brushing against your arm. You blinked and gave a shaky exhale as Pierce began to speak.
“In the charge of Murder in the first degree, how do you find?”
The foreman of the jury answered.
“We the jury find the defendant …”
You took in a breath and held it.
“Not guilty.”
You blinked, eyes darting from one jury member to the next. Some sat stoically, some refused to meet your eyes, but a couple gave you a nod or a reassuring smile. You lifted your eyes to see Steve smiling at you, and he bent to hug you. You closed your eyes as his arms came around you and you almost melted into his warmth.
“I told you so.”
You smiled, but it quickly left your face as Pierce spoke again.
“Well… members of the jury, the court thanks you for your service. However …”
Steve let you go, murmuring “no” under his breath. You looked to Bucky, whose face was like stone, worry evident all over Peggy’s features. Pierce had a smile on his face as he spoke again.
“I’m invoking a verdict notwithstanding and finding the defendant guilty.”
The courtroom seemed to erupt then. Murmurs and whispers rose from the audience, the jury, and Steve’s voice could be heard over all of them.
“You can’t do that! She hasn’t done anything wrong!”
Steve began spouting terms you weren’t sure of, cases that came before yours and the precedents they put in place. Pierce was yelling back, something about contempt of court, and you looked across the room to the table on the other side, seeing Fury and Natasha sitting calmly and quietly.
Toocalmly for attorneys who had just lost an important case.
“Psst. Hey.”
You turned your head to see Tony kneeling behind your chair.
“Steve’s about a second and a half away from approaching the bench and beating the shit out of Pierce himself. When he moves, Bucky will cause a commotion and you and I can sneak out the back.”
You blinked and Tony grabbed your knee, squeezing once.
“This is your last chance, kid.”
You shook your head.
“I’m not going to run.”
Your head shot to Fury’s table when a loud noise was heard. Fury brushed his hands off, the heavy textbook he’d just dropped on the table in front of him. Pierce raised an eyebrow, but Fury just brushed his hands over the front of his suit jacket.
“The people do not agree with your verdict, your honor.” “We’ll make a note of that, counselor. In the meantime—“ “No, actually, I have a question for you.”
The room was silent as Fury turned to Natasha, as she handed him a piece of paper that he carried to the bench.
“Judge Pierce, do you recognize this?”
Pierce put his glasses on his nose, eyebrows raising as he read the paper.
“Fury, what the hell is this?” “If that doesn’t jog your memory, perhaps this will. Can you read this for the court, sir?”
Pierce yanked the next piece of paper from Fury’s hands, scanning it before lifting his eyes to Fury.
“Are you out of your mind? This is illegal!” “Actually, sir, this warrant gave us permission for it.”
Natasha stood this time, heels clicking on the floor as she carried the warrant to the bench. Pierce shook his head, refusing to take the paper from her hand.
“This is a witch hunt!” “And you know what this little ‘witch hunt’ discovered?”
Your eyes were locked on Fury as he turned from the bench, as Natasha walked back to sit at their table.
“Multiple withdrawals from your account in the Caymans. ‘Anonymous’ deposits to an account that, after a few false leads and fake accounts, we discovered is used notoriously for … shall we call them mercenaries?”
Fury turned to Natasha, who shrugged her shoulders.
“Guns for hire?”
Fury mirrored her movements, lifting his shoulders and letting them fall as he nodded.
“Guns for hire who, when nudged ever so slightly…”
Fury turned to face the judge.
“Sang like a bird when asked about you.”
Your eyes widened as you looked to Steve, who was staring at Fury with his mouth open slightly.
“Oh, son of a bitch.”
You glanced behind you at Bucky’s whispered statement to see him with a hand covering his mouth. He leaned to whisper to Peggy and you watched her dark eyes widen. Natasha cleared her throat as she stood again.
“These payments were for a high-priority job, one that came with danger due to the high-profile target. One Brock Rumlow.”
Pierce shook his head, a sneer on his face.
“And you think a couple payments from an alleged account of mine proves that I set a hit on Brock? He was like a son to me!”
Pierce shook his head as Natasha nodded.
“See, that’s what we thought, too. Until the hitmen denied ever finishing the job.”
Pierce nodded, his sneer turning to a smug smile. Fury cleared his throat then.
“No. Ultimately, theydidn’t finish the job.”
You closed your eyes, bowing your head.
“No, sir. That was you.”
Your head popped up as Pierce laughed, shaking his head.
“Oh, Nick. I haven’t been on the receiving end of a good prank in a long time. Touché, son. Good job.”
Fury smiled, something you weren’t sure you’d ever seen.
“This isn’t a prank, sir. You were the one who killed Brock Rumlow.” “And you’re sure of this how?” “Because of the eyewitness testimony of an old friend.”
The doors to the court opened and you turned to see the woman you once considered your best friend, the woman your husband had cheated on you with. Her hair was shorter, platinum blonde instead of the dark brown you were used to. She met your eyes for a split second before Maria Hill pointed to the judge.
“That’s him. He’s the one who killed Brock.”
Pierce shook his head, mouth opening, but Maria cut him off.
“I let him in the door, told him Brock was upstairs. Next thing I knew, he was running down the stairs with blood soaking his clothes. He told me to call Y/N, get her there as quickly as I could or he’d kill me. He’s been paying me to stay away and keep my mouth shut.”
You looked to Pierce, then back to Maria, who was looking at you with sorrow in her eyes.
“I can’t let him punish you anymore. I’m so sorry.”
You looked back to Pierce, saw the sneer on his face and the anger in his eyes. You’d only seen that much hatred on Brock’s face before. You glanced over your shoulder to see Bucky’s eyes narrowed as he watched Pierce. The buzz in the room only seem to grow louder, reporters standing to their feet as they yelled questions to Maria and the judge. Steve stood and faced Fury and Natasha, and you stood to lay a hand on his back. You couldn’t take your eyes off Alexander Pierce.
“What?”
You didn’t answer him, your eyes glued to Pierce as you watched his lips curl in a sneer, his chest rising and falling with the quick breaths he was taking.
“Y/N, what? What is it?”
Steve turned to you, taking your hands. You shook your head, watching Pierce finally take his eyes from you, his eyes darting around the room before landing on the bailiff beside him. You squeezed Steve’s hands as he spoke again.
“Y/N, talk to me. What is it?”
You couldn’t get the words out, lips trembling as you watched Pierce leap from his seat, yanking the bailiff towards him then pushing him away. Your eyes widened as you were finally able to speak one word.
“Gun!”
Steve’s head jerked to Pierce, seeing him level the gun he’d taken from the bailiff and point it towards you. Steve grabbed you and pulled you close, turning his back to Pierce and pushing you down to the ground, the courtroom silent again until a shot rang out.
summary: just days before graduation, steve finds out about your feelings for him in a very unconventional way
pairing: frat!steve x fem!reader
word count: 1.3k
warnings: consumption of alcohol, wasted bucky, drunken confessions (kinda), a little stucky x reader if you squint
a/n: here is day 6 of my summer writing challenge with the prompt “wait, you think i’m cute?” i actually had a lot of fun writing this so i hope you all enjoy!
The thump of the bass throughout the house faded into the background as the burn of liquor made its way down your throat. Natasha’s only reason for getting so watsed being we’re graduating, bitch! and well, that was more than enough for you.
You’d lost track of that amount of shots you had taken, despite Nat giving you a marker to keep tally, and you were feeling tipsy enough that you finally took a step back, leaving her and Sam to go shot for shot with one another. You had a feeling you knew who would win that easily.
The music around you got louder as you made your way through the living room, pushing through crowds of people dancing, trying to get to the hallway on the other side where you knew the bathroom was. You tried to catch a glimpse of one of your friends as you waded through the party, but didn’t spy the tall blond anywhere. It didn’t surprise you - Steve wasn’t the party person despite being the president of his frat.
Finally, you emerged on the other side of the dance floor unscathed, stepping into the surprisingly empty bathroom, and made a mental list of the places Steve could be hiding as you washed your hands and fixed your hair.
Staring in the mirror, you took in your glossy eyed reflection and tried to splash some water on your face to sober yourself up. No matter the celebration, you had a feeling you would need to be a little more stable on your feet tonight.
As you opened the bathroom door, you ran right into the chest of Bucky, who looked even more drunk than you did.
“Hey, Y/N!” he shouted over the music, wrapping you in a hug. “Stevie’s lookin’ for ya.”
His words were slurred, and you were honest to god impressed that he was even able to stand on his own. For his own good, you slung an arm around his waist and tried to herd him towards the stairs toward his bedroom; but he wasn’t having any of that.
“Jus’ gotta pee, hold on.” He, as gently as a man so drunk could, removed your arm from his body and walked into the bathroom, clumsily closing the door behind him. You winced as you heard a crash on the other side, and debating the risk of opening the door to help him out.
You had just grabbed the doorknob, deciding that seeing one of your oldest friend’s dicks was worth it if he didn’t give himself a concussion, when a much larger hand covered yours, and you turned to see Steve.
“I promise you don’t want to do that.” His voice was a little husky, as if he had been shouting all night, and a shiver ran through you at the sound. Stupid drunk brain. “He’s pretty messy tonight. I was looking for you and ended up babysitting him instead. I blame the drinking game Nat came up with.”
“You mean the one where she bets she can out drink every one of your frat brothers and four years later they still don’t believe her?”
“That’s the one.” You both laughed, then stopped when another crash came from the bathroom. “Maybe we should help him, huh?”
Steve opened the door to find Bucky with his pants around his ankles, sitting in the bathtub. Thankfully, his underwear was still on, so he wasn’t exposing himself - though you were sure that wouldn’t have been a first for Steve - and the two of you managed to get him on his feet with his pants back on before Steve practically carried him to his room.
The two of you worked together to get Bucky changed and tucked into bed, and by the time you had coaxed some water into him, you were swaying on your feet. Bucky, somehow, noticed and pulled you into the bed with him.
“Aw, sweetheart, you needa lay here with me. You’re drunk as a skunk, too.” He wrapped his arms around you and you swore, even in the dim light of the room, that Steve’s jaw clenched. “C’mon, Stevie, you can join. I know you wanna.”
You laughed at that, even as Steve stood rigid, and your still tipsy brain was having trouble coming up with reasons for why that was a terrible idea. You must have really lost track of those shots, because the drunk part of you was screaming shoot your shot! even as sober you tried desperately to stop the whole mess.
Drunk brain won out though, and you helped Bucky pull Steve into the bed alongside you. He huffed as his large frame flopped down on the bed, and for a moment you were perfectly content to be in close quarters with two of the most handsome men you knew. Until Bucky spoke again.
“Quit poutin’, Stevie.” How he knew that Steve was pouting when his eyes were closed and his face was buried in your neck was a mystery to you. “You’ve been waitin’ for this day for forever.”
That sent a jolt to your brain. “What?”
“Don’t act surprised either, Y/N,” Bucky continued. “As if you haven’t been talking about how cute Steve is since freshman year.” He drug out the cutein a sing-songy way, and you felt your face heat, especially since he was exactly right.
“Wait, you think I’m cute?” Steve wasn’t hunkered down beside you anymore. Instead, he was sitting up, looking at you like you were a whole new person.
You groaned, wishing you could choke Bucky for outing you. You had spent this long hiding your huge crush on Steve, just for him to ruin it days before you all graduated. No matter that he had been telling you that Steve felt the same for years, and you had ignored him every time. Mostly due to the fact that he also told you that he was in love with you from time to time, so you weren’t inclined to believe a word he said.
“Yeah, whatever, don’t make a big deal about it.” You rolled your eyes, and he gently flicked you in the forehead.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me. You’re telling me Bucky hasn’t been lying for the last four years?” He scrubbed a hand down his face, both exasperated and amused.
“What has he said?”
“That you liked me and have been pining for me for years.” You almost rolled your eyes again, then thought better of it. “He always followed it up with suggesting we form a throuple, so I always figured he was joking around. Fucker.”
You both stared adoringly at him, a laugh escaping you as he smiled innocently, still with his entire body folded into yours, obviously pleased with himself. He didn’t say anything, just wrapped his arm across your body and Steve’s, pulling you all together.
“I can’t believe we’ve wasted four years,” you whispered as you realized how close he had gotten to you, his lips only a breath away as he laid beside you again.
“I don’t want to waste any more.” You breath caught in your throat, and his lips just barely brushed yours when Bucky let out a deafening snore. You jerked back from Steve, then felt a wet spot on your neck.
“He just drooled on me.” You wiped the spit on Bucky’s comforter, tempted to yank on his hair to wake him up to give him a piece of your mind, but Steve stopped you before you could.
“He’s not letting either one of us go,” he gestured to the arm that was still tightly holding the two of you. “May as well let him sleep it off.”
“We’re not done here,” you practically accused.
He pinched your cheek, affectionate and beaming. “No, we certainly are not.”
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summary: when your boyfriend breaks up with you, you ask steve to take his place for a couple’s dance class
pairing: steve x fem!reader
word count: 1.6k
warnings: modern au, best friends to lovers trope, reader is a dancer but that’s only mildly important, angst if you really squint but mostly cute idiots in love, i stole a side character from kathie <3
a/n: here is day 4 of my summer writing challenge with the prompts “are you doubting my acting skills?” + “i told you i’m not good at dancing.” sorry this is a few days late, but i hope you all enjoy it!!
i no longer have a taglist, but you can follow @theafterglowlibrary and turn on post notifications to get fic updates!
Your chest heaved as you finished the last of your routine, looking at yourself in the wall of mirrors. You didn’t notice the door to your studio open, too focused on calming your breathing, when the music turned off abruptly.
You spun towards the door to find Greta there, arms crossed and judging, as she was prone to do. It took all the willpower you had not to roll your eyes at the sight of her.
“I expect you’re still coming to my class tomorrow? Or have you forgotten?” The look on her face told you that she very much knew you had forgotten, not that you would dare admit that.
She had been pressuring you to do her ballroom dancing class for couples since she started it several months before, and you always managed to dodge her because you knew your boyfriend would hate it. You finally got him to agree a few weeks ago, just for him to break up with you days later. Asshole.
You had been more focused on other things - like finding a place to live and lightly mourning the end of your two year relationship - to remember that the class was this week. And Greta would never let you live it down if you bailed, especially if it was because you got dumped.
“Of course I’ll be there.” You forced a smile as you made your way to the side of the room where your bag was, trying to get your stuff together as quickly as possible and make an escape. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
She simply hummed disapprovingly, as if she could sense you were lying, but you managed to slip by her and out of the room before she could call you out.
-
“Steve? Are you home?” you called as you soon as you opened the door to his - yours too, now, he would remind you - apartment. Your best friend had been gracious enough to give you his spare room after Quentin broke up with you, no small feat since he had just managed to get his own place less than a year before.
You set your bag down by the front door, slipping your shoes off beside it, and headed into the living room where you figured Steve would be.
You were right, and he was sitting on his usual side of the couch with a book, looking as relaxed as ever. He looked up as you entered the room, and his smile once he saw you was enough to make your heart skip a beat.
There was a reason you had argued so much when he offered his spare room to you: you were stupidly in love with him. Which made what you had to ask of him that much harder.
“Hey,” he said, still smiling at you as if you were the only person in the world. “How was practice?”
“It was good.” You sat down next to him on the couch, nervously playing with a loose string on your t-shirt. “Greta stopped by as I was leaving.”
He made a face at that, knowing how much she grated your nerves. You had complained enough about her that he disliked her by association, despite never meeting her before.
“I need a favor,” you said in a rush, afraid that you would chicken out if you didn’t ask now.
He must have heard the slight panic in your voice, because he folded the corner of his page and set the book down on the coffee table, giving you his full attention.
“I need you to come to her dance class with me tomorrow.”
He laughed out loud, leaning back into the couch with a hand laid on his chest, as if you had just told the funniest joke he had ever heard. It wasn’t until he calmed down enough to look at you - and the pained expression on your face - that he realized you were not, in fact, joking.
“Oh, you’re serious,” he said, still out of breath from his laughing fit. You nodded grimly, knowing you weren’t even close to done with the favor you were asking. “You know I’m a shit dancer, Y/N. Are you sure you want me to embarrass you like that?”
“Well, that’s not all I’m asking.” You shifted so you were facing him, forcing your hands to still in your lap. “She doesn’t know Beck and I broke up, so she’s expecting me to show up with my boyfriend. And I know she’ll do the whole judgy thing she does if I show up alone, because then I won’t have a partner and it’ll be a mess and -”
“Hey,” he cut off your rambling before you could actually get on your knees and beg. “So you… what? Want me to be your pretend boyfriend for tomorrow?”
It sounded ridiculous, when he put it like that. “I know it’s a huge ask, but it’ll only be a couple hours and you won’t really have to do anything besides dance with me like we haven’t known each other since we were in diapers.”
“Are you doubting my acting skills?” he asked with another laugh, and for some reason the words cut to your heart. Of course it would be acting for him; for you, it would be a test of your willpower not to spill your guts to your best friend that you were hopelessly in love with him, and had been for years.
You shoved his shoulder, laughing off the nerves and the hurt. “Of course not. You were great in Shrek the Musical in the eighth grade”
“Hey, don’t knock my role as Donkey, okay? But alright, I’ll do it.” It was a done deal, then, and he stood up from the couch and headed to the kitchen, ruffling your hair as he passed behind you.
Those acting skills were definitely going to be needed.
-
Greta looked surprised as you walked into the studio with Steve’s arm slung around your shoulder, and you were more than a little smug at the look on her face.
You insisted that he didn’t need to do anything touchy-feely but he wanted to really sell it, so he made sure to keep contact with you as soon as you stepped through the door. You tried to blame the way your heart rate ticked up on being nervous for the class, but you knew it wasn’t.
Steve seemed totally at ease as you moved to the side of the room, following you through some simple stretches and warm ups as you waited for instructions from Greta.
You hadn’t seen Steve dance since your high school prom, so you had no idea what to expect all these years later. But when Greta finally started, you learned why he had been worried about embarrassing you.
You tried to keep from yelping every time he stepped on your toes, but he could still see the wince as his massive feet crushed you.
“I told you I’m not good at dancing.” He sounded apologetic, but you just smiled through the throbbing pain and patted his shoulder.
“You’re not bad, you’re just -”
“Terrible. Absolutely awful,” a voice behind you said. You turned to find Greta watching your and Steve’s movements with barely constrained disgust on her face. “Why did you bring this oaf into my classroom?”
You saw red for a moment, furious and confused at how she could be so rude to someone she didn’t even know, and you were about to finally put her in her place when Steve shifted his body, holding you protectively against him. As if he weren’t the one that just got insulted.
“Maybe I’m an oaf who can’t dance,” he started, placing his hand on the small of your back and leading you towards the door. “But at least I’m not a raging bitch.”
Everyone in the room stopped moving, and Greta spluttered, at a loss for words.
Thankfully, Steve wasn’t going to stick around to entertain her reaction, and he grabbed your bag from its hook on the wall before leading you quickly out of the room. You managed to contain your shocked laughter until the door slammed behind you, but had to grab onto Steve’s arm to keep upright.
“I can’t believe you did that,” you said through bursts of laughter.
“You’re not mad at me?” He sounded unsure, and you realized he thought he had done something wrong. In reality, you had been too scared to say the exact same thing to her for years.
“Mad at you? God, no. I love you.” Your heart stopped and your hand shot to your mouth, not believing the words that had just come out. You had been friends for years, but neither of you were the type to freely say that. He had to know you meant it as more than a friend, and you had just ruined everything.
“You… love me? Like, as a friend or?” He trailed off, obviously at a loss for words. You could spin it, say of course, as just a friend, are you crazy? but you were never a good liar.
“No, not as a friend. I’m in love with you, Steve. I have been for a while, I just -” You were cut off by his arms wrapping around your body, lifting you off the ground and spinning you as easily as a ragdoll.
Once you were back on your own two feet, you looked up to see that sparkle in his eyes he reserved just for you, and for the first time, you recognized the love that shone there.
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Hey babes, I hope you’re all having a lovely day. Today is my first day back from winter break, and let’s just say that I wish I could still be at home watching movies all day long. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the first official chapter of “Why Not Me?” and I love you all. xx
Summary: You and Steve have been together for three years and a seemingly pleasant day turned sour when disaster hits the city. When having to choose between saving you or a civilian, he doesn’t choose you..
You unraveled your earbuds from your bag and placed them in your ears. Although it was New York City, it felt good to go outside, to breathe in the smell of the flowers that lined the window sill of the small businesses that were on your street. The sound of cars were overwhelming, but it was all drowned out by some of your songs that you put into a playlist for you and Steve. Ever since the two of you were together, it became one of your things to share music with each other. It felt like you were giving a piece of yourself to him with every song. And well, this playlist was filled with songs the two of you shared with each other, as well as ones that happened to be playing during special moments in your relationship.
As you rounded to corner, a small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth when the song that was on the moment Steve first kissed you started playing. That was almost three years ago.. And it had been three years of pure bliss and happiness.
The small bell of the coffee shop door rang as you walked in.
“Ah, good morning, Ms. F/N.” The man behind the counter gave you a nod as you walked over to the register, taking out your headphones.
“Good morning, Mr. Sherman.” You gave him an adoring smile. Mr. Sherman had owned the coffee shop for over thirty years and ever since you and Steve started coming there, both of you had been two of his favorite customers.
“The usual? And let me guess, Steve wants his usual order, too?” He rubbed his graying beard. You puckered your lips to the side, casting your eyes to the ceiling playfully. The two of you burst into a fit of laughter as you nodded. “I’ll get that ready for you.” Mr. Sherman went to making your coffee while his other employee warmed your pastries.
You leaned against one of the tables, pulling out your phone. You texted Steve that you were going to be on your way back in about five minutes, and he responded with:
Okay baby. Maybe after breakfast we can finish what we started? ;)
You rolled your eyes, stifling a laugh as you replied.
Oh Steve.. *eye roll*
Your attention was drawn away from your phone when you heard Mr. Sherman’s voice. “I got your order ready for you, F/N.” He had walked out from behind the counter to personally hand it to you. You thanked him, and gave him a warm smile. “Be safe on your walk home, okay? And tell that stinker Steve that he needs to stop by soon. I haven’t seen that guy in a while.”
“I am always am. And I’ll be sure to kick his butt out of bed next time, so you can see him.” He smelled of coffee beans and sugar as you hugged him goodbye and went on your way.
That day was going so well that you were even humming a tune on your way back to the apartment. You waved at all the shop owners you knew, greeting them good morning, saying hello. All the people who worked or lived on your street loved you. You were so radiant and beautiful, you brightened everyone’s day.
As you crossed the street, there was a loud rumble from beneath you. The people around you screamed, but you were silent as you began to lose your footing on the ground. This was no earthquake. No earthquake could tear buildings apart with such force and have it all crumble in one blow. You were frozen in the middle of the street as you watched the book store get torn apart; pieces of glass being ripped through the air, and sticking wherever that may have been. Tears welled up in your eyes as the beautiful place you lived was being destroyed right in front of you. The fear inside you crept up from your chest and lodged itself in your throat, making you unable to speak, and unable to move.
You felt a warm liquid on your shirt, thinking it was just your tears. But as you looked down, the burgundy color of your blood was spreading itself over your shirt. A large shard of glass had lodged itself into your abdomen. There was no pain. You were in a state of shock and the adrenaline had numbed your whole body. All you felt was the lightheadedness that ultimately won the battle in your body, and the next thing you knew, your cheek was pressed against the black concrete. The glass had been pressed even further into you when you fell on your stomach. The spikes of pain began to surge through your muscles, and you were pulled out of shock.
Your mind was still going at a hundred miles an hour and the only thought on your mind was Steve. Was he okay? Did your apartment building get swept away while he was still in it? Or did he make it out?
Maybe he’s coming.. he’ll find you. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. You’ll see him again.
You couldn’t move. The glass was beginning to rip apart your insides as it was being jolted back and forth as you laid on the ground. The sounds of what felt like the apocalypse were deafening, and soon everything began to move in slow motion. You coughed, the taste of iron hitting your tongue. The pain began to fade away, and soon, you were no longer hurting. You watched as the adjacent street cracked, tearing it in half.
There was another woman in the distance, stuck under a fallen light pole. You saw the crack ran down the entirety of the street, the concrete crumbling into the gap. The pole was pressing harder onto her as its weight was being drawn into the split, wanting to take her with it.
Your eyes flitted away, landing on a tall blonde man standing on your side of the street.
“Steve…” Your voice gurgled as the blood collected in your throat. You lifted a finger towards in with the little strength you had left. Tears were welling up in your eyes. He’s here. It’s going to be okay. You saw his pained expression, the dread painted on his face. His attention was then drawn to the woman beneath the light pole. He looked back at you, conflicted.
As darkness began to envelope your vision, the last thing you saw was Steve running away from you to the other side of the street. The last thing you felt was something that felt like a massive blow to the chest, like someone had thrown a brick at your ribcage before everything faded away. And the last thing he saw when he looked back at you, your now lifeless form, was a single tear rolling down your pale cheek.
“What have I done?”
I hoped y’all liked it! Sorry it’s a day late, I had an audition last night and wasn’t able to write anything till 11pm. But, I’ll keep this updated as much as I can. Hopefully, I can have the second chapter up by early next week. xoxo I love you guys.
Hey babes, I hope you’re all having a lovely day. Today is my first day back from winter break, and let’s just say that I wish I could still be at home watching movies all day long. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the first official chapter of “Why Not Me?” and I love you all. xx
Summary: You and Steve have been together for three years and a seemingly pleasant day turned sour when disaster hits the city. When having to choose between saving you or a civilian, he doesn’t choose you..
You unraveled your earbuds from your bag and placed them in your ears. Although it was New York City, it felt good to go outside, to breathe in the smell of the flowers that lined the window sill of the small businesses that were on your street. The sound of cars were overwhelming, but it was all drowned out by some of your songs that you put into a playlist for you and Steve. Ever since the two of you were together, it became one of your things to share music with each other. It felt like you were giving a piece of yourself to him with every song. And well, this playlist was filled with songs the two of you shared with each other, as well as ones that happened to be playing during special moments in your relationship.
As you rounded to corner, a small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth when the song that was on the moment Steve first kissed you started playing. That was almost three years ago.. And it had been three years of pure bliss and happiness.
The small bell of the coffee shop door rang as you walked in.
“Ah, good morning, Ms. F/N.” The man behind the counter gave you a nod as you walked over to the register, taking out your headphones.
“Good morning, Mr. Sherman.” You gave him an adoring smile. Mr. Sherman had owned the coffee shop for over thirty years and ever since you and Steve started coming there, both of you had been two of his favorite customers.
“The usual? And let me guess, Steve wants his usual order, too?” He rubbed his graying beard. You puckered your lips to the side, casting your eyes to the ceiling playfully. The two of you burst into a fit of laughter as you nodded. “I’ll get that ready for you.” Mr. Sherman went to making your coffee while his other employee warmed your pastries.
You leaned against one of the tables, pulling out your phone. You texted Steve that you were going to be on your way back in about five minutes, and he responded with:
Okay baby. Maybe after breakfast we can finish what we started? ;)
You rolled your eyes, stifling a laugh as you replied.
Oh Steve.. *eye roll*
Your attention was drawn away from your phone when you heard Mr. Sherman’s voice. “I got your order ready for you, F/N.” He had walked out from behind the counter to personally hand it to you. You thanked him, and gave him a warm smile. “Be safe on your walk home, okay? And tell that stinker Steve that he needs to stop by soon. I haven’t seen that guy in a while.”
“I am always am. And I’ll be sure to kick his butt out of bed next time, so you can see him.” He smelled of coffee beans and sugar as you hugged him goodbye and went on your way.
That day was going so well that you were even humming a tune on your way back to the apartment. You waved at all the shop owners you knew, greeting them good morning, saying hello. All the people who worked or lived on your street loved you. You were so radiant and beautiful, you brightened everyone’s day.
As you crossed the street, there was a loud rumble from beneath you. The people around you screamed, but you were silent as you began to lose your footing on the ground. This was no earthquake. No earthquake could tear buildings apart with such force and have it all crumble in one blow. You were frozen in the middle of the street as you watched the book store get torn apart; pieces of glass being ripped through the air, and sticking wherever that may have been. Tears welled up in your eyes as the beautiful place you lived was being destroyed right in front of you. The fear inside you crept up from your chest and lodged itself in your throat, making you unable to speak, and unable to move.
You felt a warm liquid on your shirt, thinking it was just your tears. But as you looked down, the burgundy color of your blood was spreading itself over your shirt. A large shard of glass had lodged itself into your abdomen. There was no pain. You were in a state of shock and the adrenaline had numbed your whole body. All you felt was the lightheadedness that ultimately won the battle in your body, and the next thing you knew, your cheek was pressed against the black concrete. The glass had been pressed even further into you when you fell on your stomach. The spikes of pain began to surge through your muscles, and you were pulled out of shock.
Your mind was still going at a hundred miles an hour and the only thought on your mind was Steve. Was he okay? Did your apartment building get swept away while he was still in it? Or did he make it out?
Maybe he’s coming.. he’ll find you. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. You’ll see him again.
You couldn’t move. The glass was beginning to rip apart your insides as it was being jolted back and forth as you laid on the ground. The sounds of what felt like the apocalypse were deafening, and soon everything began to move in slow motion. You coughed, the taste of iron hitting your tongue. The pain began to fade away, and soon, you were no longer hurting. You watched as the adjacent street cracked, tearing it in half.
There was another woman in the distance, stuck under a fallen light pole. You saw the crack ran down the entirety of the street, the concrete crumbling into the gap. The pole was pressing harder onto her as its weight was being drawn into the split, wanting to take her with it.
Your eyes flitted away, landing on a tall blonde man standing on your side of the street.
“Steve…” Your voice gurgled as the blood collected in your throat. You lifted a finger towards in with the little strength you had left. Tears were welling up in your eyes. He’s here. It’s going to be okay. You saw his pained expression, the dread painted on his face. His attention was then drawn to the woman beneath the light pole. He looked back at you, conflicted.
As darkness began to envelope your vision, the last thing you saw was Steve running away from you to the other side of the street. The last thing you felt was something that felt like a massive blow to the chest, like someone had thrown a brick at your ribcage before everything faded away. And the last thing he saw when he looked back at you, your now lifeless form, was a single tear rolling down your pale cheek.
“What have I done?”
I hoped y’all liked it! Sorry it’s a day late, I had an audition last night and wasn’t able to write anything till 11pm. But, I’ll keep this updated as much as I can. Hopefully, I can have the second chapter up by early next week. xoxo I love you guys.
Y/n just wanted a nice Thanksgiving dinner with everyone together since no one really had a family to go home to.
· Wanda had never celebrated Thanksgiving before and was doing her best to help Y/N in the kitchen
· Vision was trying the discuss the deeper meaning of Thanksgiving with an already tipsy Tony.
· Steve thought the idea was wonderful but when Y/N realized how horrible his cooking skills were she kicked him out.
· Rhodey and Sam would try to steal bites of food, but Wanda would literallythrow them across the room.
· Y/N appreciated Wanda wanting to help cook but no Wanda there is no Beef Stroganoff at Thanksgiving!
· Steve ended tried hiding the alcohol from Tony again, but Tony had put a tracker in the cart.
· Y/n furiously whipped and peeled potatoes because Sam liked his, but Tony only ate the box kind, Clint didn’t like his without a bit of garlic, but Natasha hated garlic, and Steve would not eat them unless every lump was gone!
· AND HEAVEN FORBID THEY DID NOT HAVE PUMPKIN PIE BUT HOW COULD THEIR BE THANKSGIVING WITHOUT PEACON PIE AND THAT ONLY LEAD TO SAM AND RHODEY ARGUING ABOUT THE CORRECT WAY TO PRONOUNCE PEACON.
· Y/N’s hands shook with anger as she peeled another potato. She’d be damned if she let these idiots ruin her Thanksgiving. She was an agent of Shield! A feared assassin! She could make five kinds of mashed potatoes, bread dressing, a turkey, two kinds of pies, and cranberry sauce even if it killed her!
· The fifth time Y/N caught Clint reaching towards the turkey from the vent above she chucked a potato at him
· In the end though once everything was finally cooked and they all sat down and ate it wasn’t that bad. Everyone laughed, joked, told stories, and all five kinds of mashed potatoes has been eaten by the end of meal
· It didn’t even matter they didn’t eat dinner till twelve in the morning which meant it wasn’t even Thanksgiving anymore (Y/N threw another potato at Clint when he pointed this out)
Steve was constantly traveling. Doing shows in every major city in the US. He wrote when he could, and Y/N even got to go to a few of the shows. It took quite a bit of effort on her part to not laugh every time she saw him on that stage. She knew this was not what Steve had in mind when he was asked to help America win the war.
Y/N glanced at the today’s newspaper that laid on her bed. There was a picture of Steve in his costume, wearing an awkward smile and holding a crying baby. She couldn’t help but chuckle. Y/N finished packed her small bag and set it by the door. Tomorrow she was headed out to an army base where Steve was performing one of his shows. The Times was sending her to get some inside details about where the army is at in the war. She had just conveniently chosen the same weekend Steve would be there. Y/N had decided to surprise him, figured she might be able to cheer him up a bit.
“Oh God,” Y/N muttered watching Steve up the stage. Agent Carter shook her head in agreement. Steve was dying up there.
“Hey, Captain! Sign this!” A soldier shouted. He stood up, turned around, and pulled down his pants. The crowd laughed, both Y/N and Agent Carter cringed. They threw a couple of tomatoes a Steve, who held up his shield to protect himself. Steve sighed in defeat and marched off the stage as the showgirls walked on.
It had started to rain. Y/N pulled her coat closer as she made her way to the stage setup, where Steve sat on the steps talking to Agent Carter. As Y/N reached them Agent Carter stood and smiled at her.
“I’ll leave you two alone,”
Y/N nodded in thanks as Agent Carter walked away. She sat down beside Steve who kissed the top of her head.
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,”
“Was hoping to come cheer you up,” Y/N responded starring up at him. She would never get over how tall he was now. “You did well.”
“I sucked,” Steve grunted turning back to his notebook. Y/N noticed a drawing of a dancing monkey wearing a costume like Steve’s. “All I’ve ever wanted is to serve my country, travel. And when I finally get everything I wanted, I’m wearing tights.”
“At least your ass looks good.”
Steve laughed at that. The sounds of shouting and an ambulance interrupted him. They looked over to see injured men being brought into the hospital tent. “They look like they’ve been through hell.”
“These men more than most,” Y/N commented. “Agent Carter told me Schmitt sent out a force to Manzano. Two hundred men went in, and less than fifty returned. Your audience contained what was left of 107. The rest were killed or captured.”
“The 107?”
“What is it?” Y/N asked surprised.
“Come on!” Steve shouted tossing her coat to her and taking off.
“Colonel Phillips,” Steve spoke as they entered the tent. They walked over to the Colonel’s desk where Agent Carter stood beside him.
“Well, if it isn’t the Star-spangled man with a plan. What is your plan today?”
Y/N made a mental note to tease Steve about that later.
“I need the casualty list from Manzano.”
“You don’t get to give me orders son.”
“I just need one name, Sargent James Barnes from the 107th,” Steve asked.
Y/N bit back a gasp. How did she not realize it before!
“You and I are going to have a conversation later that you won’t enjoy,” Philips stated pointing at Y/N.
“I’m not revealing my source.” Y/N acknowledged. She would never throw Peggy under the bus, especially since she was Y/N’s top source for info.
“Please sir, just tell me if he’s alive. B, A, R- “
“I can spell,” The Colonel interrupted Steve. He stood up and began looking through a stack of papers. “I have signed more of these condolence letters than I would care to count, but, the name does sound familiar. I’m sorry.”
Y/N blinked away her tears, this was no time to be emotional.
“What about the others?” Steve asked. “Are you planning a rescue mission?”
“Yeah, it’s called winning the war!” The Colonel exclaimed.
“But if you know where they are then why not- “
“They’re thirty miles behind the lines, in some of the most heavily fortified territories in Europe. We’d lose more men than we’d save. I don’t expect you to understand that because you’re a chorus girl.”
“I think I understand just fine.”
“Well, then understand it somewhere else,” Philips grunted before walking away. “If I read the poster correctly, you have someplace to be in thirty minutes.”
“Yes, sir, I do,” Steve stated before walking off.
Y/N glanced at the large map and then at Steve’s retreating form. “Oh, hell no!” She whispered before going after him with Peggy by her side.
“What do you plan to do? Walk to Austria?” Y/N asked entering the tent full of costumes. Steve was putting on his Captain America costume.
“If that what it takes.”
“You heard the Colonel, your friend is most likely dead,” Peggy spoke up.
“You don’t know that”
“Even so, he’s devising a strategy that takes- “
“By the time he’s done that it could be too late!” Steve exclaimed putting on his coat.
“Steve!” Y/N insisted running after him.
Steve threw his bag and shield into the back of a jeep.
“Y/N, you gotta let me do this.”
“Who said I was stopping you?”
Steve looked at his fiancé, feeling slightly surprised.
Y/N turned to Peggy, “Can you fly him?”
“No, but I know someone who can,” Peggy smirked and rushed off. “Be back in a minute!”
“What is- “
“I want a full detailed report when you get back. If anyone is putting this in the papers it will be me! You’ll be in the fighting in no time.”
Steve didn’t know what to say. “Y/N I- “
“If you die, I’ll kick your ass!” Y/N growled.
“You could get in a lot of trouble!”
“Oh please! I’m a reporter for the times! They can’t touch me.”
Steve stepped forward and cupped her face, kissing his girl. “Love you, darling.”
“Love you too, now go be a hero!
“You!”
Y/N looked up from her notepad to see the Colonel walking over.
“Where’s Rogers?”
“How should I know?”
“You’re his fiancé!”
“Fiancé, not his mother,” Y/N stated calmly.
Before the Colonel could respond they turned at the sound of an approaching jeep. Agent Carter and Howard Stark were in the front seat.
“Where is he!” Y/N shouted sprinting over. Peggy climbed out of the jeep and shook her head.
“Stayed in the air for as long as we could, but the plane sustained too much damage and Steve never contacted us.”
Y/N shook her head in disbelief, trying to hold back her tears. “Excuse me,” She whispered walking away. Peggy rushed over and walked with her.
“Y/N, I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s okay,” Y/N responded. “He died for something he believed in.”
“Do you know what he asked me?”
“What?”
“If Stark and I ever fondued?”
“You mean- “
Peggy nodded, quietly chuckling.
Y/N shook her head, “Classic Steve. Kindest man I know, but doesn’t know a thing about women!”
“You’re leaving?”
Y/N glanced at Peggy who stood in the doorway of her small tent. “It’s been three days. I need to go home and hand in my report. There’s nothing keeping me here.”
“Y/N, I’m so- “
“Don’t say you’re sorry.” Y/N ordered. “Everyone’s sorry, they’re always sorry when someone dies! Well, I’m not! Sad? Of course! But I could not be prouder of him. So, don’t you dare insult Steve’s memory by saying you’re sorry!”
Before Peggy could respond, they both stepped outside to find out what the commotion was all about. Men were running and shouting. Peggy and Y/N followed to see what they were going after. They reached the tent where the Colonel stood, looking at all his men lining both sides of the road. A large group of soldiers walked down the center of it. Steve Rogers was the one leading them. People shouted and cheered as Steve made his way over to the Colonel.
Steve gave a salute. “Some of these men need medical attention. I would like to surrender myself to disciplinary action.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Yes sir,” Steve answered, slightly surprised.
The colonel turned to Y/N, “Go kiss that stupid fiancé of yours.” He grunted before walking away.
Y/N smiled at Steve and stepped forward. Steve leaned down and kissed her. Causing a few whoops and cheers to come from the crowd.
“Alright! Move! I want to hug her too!”
Y/N quickly stepped back from Steve and rushed over to Bucky, hugging him as tightly as she could. “Glad to know you aren’t dead.”
“I thought you were supposed to take care of him for me!”
“He’s alive,” Y/N responded stepping back.
“After undergoing an experiment that turned him into a giant and then charging into enemy territory by himself!”
“Guys, I’m right here.”
“You know how he gets, stubborn as a bull.”
“I’m not a child!” Steve sighed in frustration. Bucky and Y/N laughed.
“Oh, and I owe you this!” Y/N punched Steve in the arm. She thought she actually saw him wince.
“Hey!”
“I thought you were dead!”
Steve reached into his pocket and brought out a broken transmitter. “Couldn’t call my ride!”
Y/N snatched the tiny thing from him and chucked it at his helmet. It shattered on impact.
“Hey, let’s hear it for Captain America!” Bucky exclaimed. The crowd cheered in agreement. People clapped Steve on the back and congratulated him.
A few days later Y/N headed back to New York and Steve went on to fight in the war. Y/N’s boss was ecstatic when he read her report. A firsthand account from Captain America himself on how he saved those men was good enough for the front page!
It was a few weeks later when Y/N received a letter from Steve saying he’d be back home for a few days and asked her to meet him. She, of course, chose to wear her red dress and even put on a little more makeup than she usually did.
Upon walking into the bar, some men who were singing loudly quickly calmed down at the sight of her. Y/N walked into the next room where Bucky and Steve sat at the bar. Steve quickly got up and walked over to her, giving her a peck on the lips.
“Hey, Darling,”
“Hey,” She smiled at Steve and then turned to Bucky who kissed her on the cheek.
“Glad you could make it Y/N!”
The three ordered some drinks and sat down at a table. They talked, laughed, and told stories. It was like how it was before the war. If Y/N blocked out the drunk singers and music she could almost imagine they were back at Joe’s.
“So! When do you two plan on tying the knot?” Bucky demanded.
“After the war.”
Bucky looked at Steve in shock. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Why?”
“After the war? Who knows how long this thing could last! Not to mention the chances of us surviving it!”
“Bucky!” Steve growled.
“I’m perfectly fine with waiting, Bucky so stop your worrying.” Y/N insisted.
Steve nodded in agreement, though Y/N could tell Bucky’s words had gotten to him.
They had a few more drinks and told a couple more stories before saying goodnight to everyone. Steve, of course, insisted on walked Y/N home.
“Are you really okay with waiting?” Steve asked as they made their way down the sidewalk.
“Yes, if you want to wait till after the war, then we can wait.”
Steve nodded but did not respond. Y/N could tell he was thinking hard about this. “Maybe, we could, at least, go to the court and get it done. You know? Just so you could get the benefits if something does- “
“Absolutely not!” Y/N exclaimed stopping in her tracks.
“I’m not marrying you just, so I can get a little help if you die! I will marry you because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I will do so when our friends and family can be there, and you can come home!”
Steve nodded and took her hand in his. “I’m sorry darling,”
“All is forgotten,” Y/N muttered kissing Steve’s cheek before they started to walk again.
Steve left the next morning to head off to a meeting he had with Stark, promising he would come back later that evening. Y/N spent her day in the office working on her next article.
She arrived at her home to find Steve sitting on her couch with his head in her hands. “Bad day?”
“I have to tell you something,”
His tone made Y/N stop what she was doing and sit down beside him. “What happened?”
“I… I was waiting for Mr. Stark while he was finishing up a meeting with Colonel Philips… And his secretary was sitting there, and she kept talking me being a hero and how I saved those men, and how thankful their wives must be and…”
“And?”
“Y/N she kissed me!” Steve exclaimed. “She kissed me, but I swear I didn’t kiss back and, and I…. wait, why are you laughing?”
Y/N waved her hand as she tried to calm herself down but only ended up laughing harder. She finally calmed herself down and took a deep breath. “Steve, I’m not mad!”
“Obviously, why is this so funny! I- “
“You didn’t cheat,” Y/N interrupted. “Some crazy fan kissed you, that’s all.” Y/N giggled. “If I got mad about every girl who tried to make a move on you I’d go crazy! Besides, I’m the girl who gets to have you come home to her. I’ve got nothing to be jealous of.”
“Could you tell Agent Carter that? Because she shot at me because she thinks I’m cheating on you.”
Y/N began laughing again. “I’ll talk to her.”
Steve smiled and leaned his forehead against hers. “You’re the best darling,”
“I know,” Y/N giggled making Steve roll his eyes.
Steve left a week later to head to the war with the team he had assembled. Y/N once again poured herself into her work, though her bosses weren’t complaining about it. She was quickly climbing the food chain of journalism! Following leads that took her all over the world. She saw the chaos in Europe and even narrowly escaped Austria as Hitler’s men took over the country. Steve wrote when he good, but he was usually off on some mission he couldn’t tell Y/N about and she was usually following a lead that had details she could not share. She hated the secrets between them but knew it was for the best. After all, they were both doing what they loved so how could she complain?
Peggy visited Y/N occasionally. Sharing stories and bringing trinkets Steve had sent from his travels. Everything was going well until there was a knock-on Y/N’s door one early morning.
“Peggy?” Y/N groaned rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“There’s something I need to tell you,” Peggy’s tone instantly grabbed Y/N’s attention.
“Come inside,” The two women headed inside the small home and sat down in the living room. “Now, what is it?”
Peggy took a deep breath, “There is no easy way to tell you this, but, Sargent Barnes is dead.”
Y/N gasped in horror, “No! It can’t be true!” She exclaimed, tears welling up in her eyes.
“I’m sorry Y/N, it happened during a mission.”
“What about Steve?”
“He made it back. In fact, he’s currently in London. I came to tell you in person, so, that I may ask you to come back with me. You could tell your boss you’re going on another assignment, I just need you to come talk to Steve. I know you are dealing with your own grief but, he needs you!” Peggy pleaded.
Y/N wiped away her tears and took a shaky breath. She had to be strong, for Steve. “Let me go pack.”
They left Y/N’s home fifteen minutes later and boarded a plane to London. Y/N had made sure to send a message to work, letting them know she was headed to London to follow an important lead she had found. Hours later they arrived late at night. Took them a while to figure out where Steve was, but they finally learned he was hiding out in an area of the city that had been evacuated due to the bombing.
Y/N walked through the rubble to a destroyed bar. She stepped over large pieces of rock and entered the building through a large hole in the wall. Y/N walked further into the building and found Steve sitting at the table, with a bottle and glass before him.
Steve looked up at the sound of her footsteps but did not seem that all surprised to see his fiancé. “Dr. Erskine said that the serum wouldn’t just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing.” Steve poured himself a drink as he spoke. “Which means, um, I can’t get drunk. Did you know that?”
Y/N walked over and stood in front of him. It was obvious he had been crying for hours. “I did read about how your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person,” Y/N picked up a chair and then sat down. “Dr. Erskine wrote that he did think that could be one of the side effects.”
Y/N wasn’t sure what to say. How do you comfort someone who just lost their best friend? That’s the thing, you can’t. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Steve scoffed, “Did you read the report?”
“Yes.”
“Then you know that’s not true.”
“You did everything you could,” Y/N spoke softly. “Did you believe in Bucky? Did you respect him? No need to answer because we both know you did, and because of that you need to stop blaming yourself. Allow Bucky the dignity of his choice. He damn well thought you were worth it!”
“I’m going after Schmidt. And I won’t stop till all of Hydra is dead or captured.”
“I would be disappointed if you did anything less.” Y/N slightly smiled and reached across the table, taking Steve’s hand in hers. “But you won’t have to do it alone.”
Steve looked at her with more sadness in his eyes then Y/N had seen in her whole life. She then realized why Peggy had been so determined to get her here. Because she knew Steve wouldn’t have felt free to be this vulnerable with anyone else.
“I’ll be back soon,”
“I know.”
“Darling, I’m going to be fine.”
“I know,” Y/N answered again, her voice showing no emotion. After arriving back at base, Steve was pulled into an emergency meeting and was heading out on an emergency mission he could tell Y/N nothing about. Y/N was terrified and Steve knew it.
Steve sighed and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing their foreheads together. “You know why I’m so sure I’ll come back?”
“Because if you don’t I’ll kick your ass?”
Steve chuckled, “Because, when I get back we are going to get married.”
“But I thought we were- “
“No more waiting. I love you and I want you to be my wife. We don’t know when this war will end, but I know I can make it through this with you by my side.”
Y/N smiled up at him and stood on her tip toes, so she could kiss him. “I love you too,” She whispered against his lips. “Still not used to how tall you are though.”
Steve threw his head back in laughter.
“Come in, this is Captain Rogers! Do you read me?” Steve’s voice came in through the intercoms.
“Captain Roger’s what is your- “
“Steve is that you? Are you alright?” Peggy asked pushing the man aside. She sat down in front of the mike.
“Peggy, Schmidt’s dead!”
“What about the plane?”
“That’s a little tougher to explain,” Steve answered.
“Give me your coordinates. I’ll find you a safe landing site.”
“There’s not going to be a safe landing, but I can try and force it down.”
Peggy bit her lip, trying to come up with a solution. “I’ll get Howard on the line. He’ll know what to do.”
“There’s no time. This thing is moving fast, and it’s headed for New York.” Steve explained. “I gotta put her in the water.”
“Please, don’t do this. We have time. We can work it out.” Peggy pleaded, trying to keep her voice steady.
“Right now, I’m out in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer a lot of people are going to die. I have to do this.” Steve reached into his pocket and took out his compass and set it up before him. A small picture of Y/N was inside it. “Peggy?”
“I’m here.”
“I need you tell Y/N I’m gonna be late to the courthouse.”
“I’ll tell her,” Peggy whispered.
“Tell her this was my choice, she’ll understand.”
“Okay.”
“Tell her she can wear her red dress if she wants. She was never much of a fan of white any- “
Static came across the air. “Steve?” Peggy whispered. “Steve!” She exclaimed, tears now rolling down her cheeks.
Y/N paced in her small room she had been staying in. She had been up all night, hoping to hear word from someone! But nothing had come. Y/N froze at the sound of someone knocking and rushed to the door.
“Yes?”
“Colonel Philips would like to see you in his office.” The soldier explained.
Y/N nodded and quickly grabbed her coat.
“Colonel,” Y/N spoke upon entering the small office. The Colonel sat behind his desk with a grave look on his face. Peggy sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk, Y/N sat in the one beside her. “What’s this about? Where’s Steve?”
“Our goal for this mission was to take down Schmidt’s plan once and for all. He had a plane, that had bombs for major cities all over the world,” The Colonel began. “Captain Rogers was able to get on the plane before it took off and take control. But, he then realized there was no way to land the plane. And it’s first stop, New York, was getting close.”
“No,” Y/N whispered. Peggy reached over and grabbed Y/N’s hand, squeezing it hard.
“Captain Rogers made the decision to put the plane in the water, we have no reason to believe he survived. Captain Rogers died so thousands could live. Your finance is a hero.”
“Oh, don’t I know it,” Y/N scoffed tears rolling down her cheeks. He said he would come back, but Y/N had a feeling this mission was going to be different.
“He said to tell you that this was his choice,” Peggy whispered. “And that you would understand.”
Y/N closed her eyes, no longer able to hold the pain back. As she began to sob, Peggy stood up wrapped her arms around Y/N. Colonel Philips quietly left the room to give Y/N some privacy.
“He promised he’d come home,” Y/N sobbed. “He said we were going to get married.”
“I know,” Peggy whispered trying to soothe her friend. But how do you comfort someone who just lost the love of their life? That’s the thing, you can’t.
Steve couldn’t stop his hands from shaking as he approached the familiar home in Brooklyn. The battle of New York had only been a few weeks ago, but when Nick Fury approached Steve with a file containing a name he knew all too well, Steve nearly cried with joy.
Steve’s breathing was shaky as he rang the doorbell. A nurse opened the door.
“Hello, how can I help you?”
“I’m a, um, old friend of Miss Y/L/N’s. I was wondering if I could see her?”
The nurse smiled, “You picked a good day. She’s been getting worse and we aren’t sure how much longer she has, but she seems to be doing well today.” The nurse held the door open wider so Steve could step inside.
The house had barely changed. There were some photos on the walls that hadn’t been there before, and there were more books and records in the living room. Steve followed the nurse up the stairs and down a hallway he knew like the back of his hand.
“Y/N, you have a visitor,” The nurse spoke softly as they entered the bedroom.
Steve had not known what to expect, but when he saw her laying there, it was like nothing had changed. Her skin may have had wrinkles and her hair was now grey, but somehow, she didn’t seem different to him.
“Y/N,” Steve whispered sitting down in the chair beside her bed.
“I’ll leave you be,” The nurse said before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.
Steve took Y/N’s hand in his, not sure what he should say. “They found me frozen in the ice, not sure how I survived, to be honest. I also just fought an army of aliens. Bet you would have written a good article about that,” Steve chuckled, with no real emotion in his tone.
“I’m… I’m sorry I missed the wedding.” Steve whispered, running his thumb over the dainty engagement ring he had given her all those years ago. “Would have loved to see you in that red dress one more time…”
Steve glanced up at the heart monitor as it continued to beep. The sound of a ventilator filled the room, as it breathed for Y/N. Steve had read about the car accident that had only happened two months before he had woken up. How she had been put on life support and that Fury had decided to personally pay to keep her alive so Steve may be able to say goodbye. But he didn’t want this to be goodbye.
“Y/N,” Steve croaked, struggling to hold back his tears. “Come on darling, just open your eyes for me, just this once.”
But Y/N did not move.
“Please Y/N,” Steve cried. “Please…”
Nothing changed. The heart monitor stayed the same. The machines continued to breathe for his love.
Y/N Y/L/N was a simple girl who lived a not so extraordinary life. She was not a well-known journalist who wrote famous articles. She made the front page only once. She didn’t have any family, never got married or had children. But, she meant the world to someone. Once.
“See you tomorrow!” Y/N called as Bill left the diner. He had been coming there for his lunch break every day for the past five years. Regulars were Y/N’s favorite customers. It was always nice to see friends come in. Y/N cleaned the table and took the dishes to the back before heading back out to the other customers.
“Hey, doll!”
Y/N turned and rolled her eyes, “Bucky Barnes, you know not to call me that!”
Bucky just chuckled and gave Y/N a peck on the cheek. “How are you, Y/N?”
“I’m doing good, and you?”
“Great! Sent in my application for the army today, so hoping I’ll hear from them soon.”
Y/N nodded as he spoke, doing your best to hide her fear. Y/N was proud of Bucky, of course, but that did not stop her from fearing for her friend’s safety.
“Hey, do you have any plans tonight?”
Y/N stopped cleaning and looked at Bucky placing a hand on her hip. “We’ve been down this road, I’m not- “
“No no! Not asking you out for me!”
“What?”
“I’m going to a party tonight and my friend needs a date. He’d be perfect for you!” Bucky exclaimed.
Y/N rolled her eyes, “We’ve been down this road as well. I said no more blind dates!”
“Oh, come on Y/N! This is the last one I swear! He’s my best friend! Do you think I’d be best friends with a jerk?”
“You are a jerk,” Y/N muttered, making Bucky chuckled.
“Well, he’s not. He’s one of those humble, shy guys. You’ll like him, I promise!”
“I haven’t said yes yet!”
“Party is at 7! We’ll pick you up at 6:45!”
“At least tell me his name!”
“It’s Steve!” Bucky called as he left the diner.
Y/N let out a sigh in frustration, praying she wouldn’t regret this.
Y/N checked her makeup in the mirror one last time, admiring her light blue dress and black heels. Before she could do anything, else there was a knock at the door.
Bucky whistled when Y/N opened the door and she rolled you rolled your eyes. Beside him stood a man you had never met before. He was barely an inch taller than Y/N, skinny, with blond hair and blue eyes. Then there was Bucky’s date, a pretty brunette with her arm linked with his.
“Hey, sweetheart!”
“I told you to stop with the pet names!” Y/N chuckled making Bucky smile. She turned to the other man, “You must be Steve, nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, Y/N” The two shook hands.
“If you two don’t kiss by the end of the night I’ll be disappointed!”
“And if you don’t kiss Sally by the end of the night she’ll be disappointed!” Steve shot back making Sally blush.
“Let’s just go,” Y/N chuckled. The boys nodded in agreement and the group headed off.
The party was at a friend’s house not too far away, which you were thankful for since Y/N was walking in heels. Bucky walked with his date in front of you and Steve, Y/N could hear her giggle as Bucky told a joke.
“So, how long have you known Bucky?”
“Since we were kids, been best friends all our lives,” Steve answered. “What about you? How did you two meet?”
“He spilled coffee on me at the diner” Y/N quietly laughed at the memory.
“Oh yeah! He mentioned you worked at Joe’s. How long have you been a waitress?”
“Five years now.”
“Do you like it?” Steve asked.
“It pays the bills, but I certainly don’t wanna work there for the rest of my life.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to be a journalist, but you know how hard it can be for a woman to get anywhere in life.” Y/N muttered.
“What would you want to write about?”
“Anything, honestly. Anything that allows me to travel. What about you? What do you want to do?”
“I want to join the army,” Steve answered.
“That’s an admirable thing, have you applied?”
“I have but, I was turned down for… reasons.”
Y/N nodded, deciding it was better not to push the subject. They arrived at the party before Steve and Y/N could continue the conversation.
Music played loudly, people drank, and couples danced. Y/N had lost Bucky and his date in the crowd and Steve had seemed to disappear. She leaned against the wall and watched the people around her. Y/N was perfectly content to people watch until someone decided to disturb her.
“Hey there sweetheart”
“I’m not your sweetheart” Y/N muttered to the drunk stranger, but he didn’t seem to hear her.
“Wanna dance?” He placed a hand on her hip that Y/N quickly pushed away.
“No thanks,” She moved to walk away but he grabbed her wrist.
“Oh, come on doll, I promise to show you a real good time” he whispered in her ear making her cringe.
“I said, no!” Y/N tried to shove him off, but he wouldn’t budge. Suddenly, the man was pulled off her and Steve was standing between the two of you.
“I believe she said no.”
“Mind your own business!” The man growled.
“Leave her alone!” Steve demanded sizing the man up or at least trying to. He was a good foot taller than Steve.
“Steve, can you walk me home? Please?” Y/N whispered in his ear, trying to stop this from becoming a fight.
Steve glanced at the man one last time before nodding and leading Y/N outside.
“Thank you, for saving me,” Y/N said quietly as the two walked down the sidewalk.
“Wouldn’t have to save you if I hadn’t disappeared, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not! I was just so nervous and was afraid of screwing this date up that it took a ten-minute pep talk from Bucky to get me to find you.”
Y/N slightly smiled at his words. “Well,” you looped your arm through his as you spoke. “I’m glad my hero decided to come to the rescue.” She could see a small blush appear on his cheeks at your words.
“Seems I messed up the date anyways, barely got to know you.”
“I wouldn’t mind a second try.”
Steve looked at Y/N surprised. “You mean, you’d like to go on another date with me?”
“If you’re asking, then yes” She giggled. Steve’s face broke out into wide grin.
“I’d like that very much Y/N” He answered as you two stopped. Y/N now stood in front of her front door. “Would Tuesday work?”
“Tuesday’s perfect” Y/N stepped closer and gave Steve a peck on the cheek. “Goodnight hero.”
Steve stood outside Y/N’s door a for a few moments after she had already gone inside. “Goodnight,” he whispered, touching the place where her lips had just been.
Y/N looked up from the register at the sound of the door opening and smiled.
“Hey cookie,” Steve walked over and pecked her on the lips.
“Told you not to call me that!” Y/N giggled. Steve rolled his eyes.
“Right. So, how’s your day going?”
“Alright, tips are low today, but Billy said his wife is pregnant!”
“Make sure to give them my congratulations”
“I will,” Y/N assured. “So, what did I do to earn this unexpected visit?”
“Can’t a man visit his girl while she’s at work?” Steve walked around the counter and wrapped his arm around her waist.
“He sure can,” Y/N smiled up at him as his nose brushed hers. Thank God Joe had gone on an errand!
“Hey, love birds!” The couple groaned and stepped away from each other making Bucky chuckle.
“Now, this was an unexpected visit I could do without.”
“Oh hush! You love me!”
Y/N just smiled and shook her head.
“Hey! we should go dancing tonight!”
“Bucky, you always wanna go out!” Steve chuckled.
“Yeah, but you two never come! Come on! It’ll be fun!”
“I’d be up for some dancing.”
Steve looked at Y/N a little surprised. “Seriously?”
“Yeah! Come on! Bucky’s right, we haven’t gone dancing in ages” Y/N pleaded.
Steve sighed in defeat, “Fine.”
Y/N let out a squeal and hugged Steve who laughed.
Y/N was putting on her lipstick when there was a knock at the door. She slipped on her shoes and walked over.
“Right on time!” She exclaimed opening the door. Steve’s smile widened at the sight of his girl. Y/N was wearing a red dress, which was Steve’s favorite, that she had worn on their first date. Well, it had really been their second date but since the first one didn’t go so well they considered the second one to be their do-over.
“You beautiful,” Steve whispered kissing her cheek. Y/N linked her arm with Steve’s as he waved a cab over.
“You made it!” Bucky exclaimed waving his two friends over. He hugged Steve and kissed Y/N on the cheek. She ordered some drinks and started up a conversation with Bucky’s date while Steve talked with the guys.
“Oh, I love this song!” Karen, Bucky’s date, exclaimed. Bucky held out his hand and they made their way towards the dance floor.
Steve smiled at Y/N and raised his eyebrow. “May I have this dance?” He asked dramatically making her giggle.
“You may,” Y/N did a little curtsy and took Steve’s hand. The two spun around on the dance floor. Laughing and joking as they tripped and stepped on each other’s twos once or twice.
The band started to play a slow song and Steve pulled his date close. Y/N rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the smell of his cologne. Steve kissed Y/N’s forehead and rested his chin on the top of her head.
“Can I ask you something?” He whispered.
“Sure,”
“Why don’t you like pet names? Like Baby or sweetheart.”
“I just don’t like them. They sound so fake to me you know? Those are things guys call out to girls to their attention. Doesn’t sound very endearing to me.” Y/N explained. Steve hummed in response.
“What about darling?”
She looked up at Steve in confusion. “What?”
“Can I call you darling?” He asked. “Don’t hear guys shouting that one too often.”
Y/N smiled, “Darling… I like it!”
Steve chuckled and kissed her nose. “My darling.”
Y/N checked herself in the mirror for the hundredth time, making sure everything was okay with her appearance. “Well, either I leave now or risk being late,” She muttered to herself. Y/N grabbed her bag and headed outside, looking for a taxi.
“You’re late,” Joe stated as Y/N entered the diner. She hung up her hat and coat.
“I’m sorry, I had an… appointment that went longer than I expected.” Y/N apologized as she tied on her apron. Joe leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, giving her a knowing look.
“So?”
“So, what?”
“How did the interview go!”
“How did you- “
“I’ve known you for five years, did you honestly think I wouldn’t figure it out?” He chuckled.
Y/N smiled and shook her head. “Well… I got the job!”
Joe let out a shout of joy and hugged her. “That’s amazing! Wait till I tell Hellen! Your dad would have been so proud!”
Joe and Y/N’s father had been old war buddies before her father died a few years ago. He had worked as a journalist after leaving the army and after growing up hearing her father’s stories and travels Y/N were eager to follow in his footsteps.
“Have you told Steve?”
“Not yet, I never even mentioned the interview because I didn’t want to get his hopes up” Y/N explained. “Not to mention if I get assigned closer to the war, I know he’ll worry out of his mind!”
“Would the New York Times send a woman so close to danger?”
“They like what I write, and the boss says I’ve got the ambition and smarts to survive out there. Besides, you know how I am, I like to be where the action is.”
Jo chuckled at Y/N’s words. “Just like your father…” He muttered. “You should tell Steve soon though, with the way he’s been talking, he may be asking a pretty important question soon.”
Y/N bit her lip and could feel herself begin to blush. The two had talked about getting married of course, and maybe even the possibility of kids being in their future. But Steve still wanted to join the army and, so it seemed he would not propose till the war ended. At least, that’s how it seemed to Y/N.
“I’ll tell him tonight. We’re going to the Stark Expo with Bucky and then dancing later. It’s his last night before getting shipped off so we wanted to make it special.” Y/N answered. Bucky had gotten his papers a few days ago. She had of course been happy for Bucky, but could not the fear that filled her chest every time she thought of Bucky out on the front.
“Ah! There she is!” Bucky exclaimed as Y/N approached. “Fashionably late as always!”
Y/N laughed, “Sorry, had to help Joe with the cleaning tonight.”
Steve smiled and pecked you on the lips. “Glad you could make it, darling.”
“Me too,” Y/N gave Karen a hug and Bucky a kiss on the cheek. “Look who’s looking smart in his uniform!”
Bucky stood up straight and did a salute making the girls giggle. “Now come on! Or we’ll miss the show!”
Y/N took Steve’s hand in hers as they started to head towards the stage. “I have some news to tell you later.”
Steve glanced at her and raised an eyebrow, but Y/N just smiled.
The group walked around looking at the different displays before making their way towards the stage as the music began to play. Steve offered Y/N a peanut which she gladly took. The crowd clapped as Howard Stark walked onto the stage, kissing one of his showgirls before taking the mic from her.
“Ladies and gentlemen, what if I told you that in just a few short years, your automobile won’t even half to touch the ground, at all?”
The showgirls removed the tires from the car that sat on stage.
“With Stark Gravitic Reversion Technology, you’ll be able to do just that.” Stark turned on a knob on the small panel before him and pushed a lever up.
“Holy cow,” Bucky whispered at the sight of the car rising into the air. There was a spark and a loud bang as the car came crashing down onto the stage.
“I did say a few years didn’t eye?” Stark commented making the crowd chuckle as they clapped.
“Hey, Steve, what do you say we treat our girls to- “but Bucky stopped when saw Steve was no longer there. Y/N sighed, already knowing where he had run off too.
“Why does he keep doing this?” Karen muttered. Her and Y/N stood by a street light watching Steve and Bucky argue outside the office where you could apply to join the army.
“Because he’s a hero” Y/N groaned shaking her head. She admired Steve’s integrity and perseverance to join the war. He had all the right reasons too. But it didn’t prevent her heart from stopping every time Steve mentioned he had applied or the sleepless nights she had spent worrying about him.
Bucky turned to walk away, and Y/N heard Steve shout something about not winning the war. Bucky turned back to Steve, gave him a salute and walked back to the girls.
“He’s doing it again,” Y/N stated. Bucky nodded.
“Do you wanna come dancing with us?”
“No, it’s alright, I’ll wait for him.”
“We can wait with you if you want,” Karen offered. Y/N smiled and shook her head.
“You two go have fun, make sure to show Bucky a good time!”
Bucky smiled and hugged Y/N. He kissed her cheek before pulling away. “You take care of him for me.”
“And you come home in one piece!” Y/N responded squeezing his hand. She hugged Karen and then watched as Karen and Bucky walked off.
Y/N walked over to a bench outside the building and sat down. It was going to be a long night.
“Darling!”
She looked up to see Steve jogging over.
“What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you” She stated standing up. “So?”
“I got accepted!” Steve exclaimed. The smile on his face crushed her heart.
Y/N forced a smile, “That’s amazing! When did you get shipped out?”
“Three days!” Steve was still grinning. He wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her. “Hey, didn’t you say you had some news too?”
Y/N cleared her throat and nodded, taking a small step back from Steve. “I, um, I applied for a job at the Times. Had the interview today, and I was hired as a journalist.”
“Y/N that’s amazing! Why didn’t you tell me you were applying?”
“I didn’t want you to get your hopes up,” Y/N laughed.
Steve kissed her again, barely able to contain his excitement. It took every bit of strength Y/N to not cry then and there.
Y/N turned off the lamp at her desk and grabbed her coat. It had been a long second day at the office and she just wanted to go home and sleep. But she couldn’t. Her Steve was leaving tomorrow to fight the war and there was nothing she could do to stop him.
“Hey, Darling!” Steve pulled Y/N close and kissed her. They stood in her doorway for a moment enjoying each other’s embrace.
“So, what does my brave soldier want to do for his last night?” Y/N asked adjusting the color on Steve’s uniform. She had to admit, he did look handsome.
“Oh, I have a few ideas.”
Y/N let out a squeal as Steve grabbed her hand and took off running.
“Hey, you two!” Joe called out as they entered the diner.
“Hey, Joe!” Steve responded as he and Y/N sat across from each other in their usual booth.
“Joe’s?”
“Our favorite place” Steve smiled as he spoke. Y/N could not help but smile back. This was Steve’s night, so she was up for whatever Steve wanted.
They ordered their favorite meals. Talked about the silly pigeon man who was always outside the supermarket. Y/N talked about her work day and the story she was working on. It was just how it had been every evening they had eaten dinner together.
“So where to next?” Y/N asked as they stepped out into the cool night air.
“You’ll like this one,” Steve smirked. He took Y/N’s hand in his once again and they walked off.
“Dancing? But you hate it!”
“But you don’t,” Steve answered. The two headed inside the building and hung up their coats. “You wore the red one.”
“It is your favorite,” Y/N commented, doing a little twirl in her dress. They walked onto the dance floor and Steve spun her around and around. Y/N couldn’t remember the last time they had had this much fun.
They danced for hours, through every song, till they were the only couple left on the floor.
Steve had his arms around her waist. Y/N had her hands pressed against his cheeks as their foreheads touched. She wished this moment could last forever. Just a for a moment, there was no war to fight, nothing to be afraid. They were just two people in love, enjoying each other’s company.
“We should leave,” Steve finally spoke, breaking the trance.
Y/N nodded.
They walked in silence. No words in the English language seemed right to describe what they were feeling in this moment, how they felt for each other. Which is the cheesiest thing in the world, but love is even cheesier.
They arrived at Y/N’s front door and they stood there staring at each other, knowing this would be the last goodbye said for a long time. And maybe, a small chance though it may be, this goodbye could last forever.
“Darling…”
Y/N let out a sob and jumped into Steve’s arms, kissing him as hard as she could. Pouring every unsaid thing into him. Steve held on as tight as he could.
“I have something for you,” Steve whispered, forcing himself to pull away. He reached into his pocket and brought out a small black box. Once opened, it revealed a gold ring, with a small diamond on it. “I know it’s not much to look at, and I told myself I’d do this after the war, but I”
“Are… Are you asking me…” Y/N couldn’t even finish her question. Steve smiled down at her and nodded. Y/N let out a giggle. “You have to do it properly! Or I won’t answer!”
“Properly?”
“Get down on one knee!” Y/N laughed. Steve rolled his eyes but did as she asked.
“Y/N, my darling, would you marry me?”
“Yes!” Y/N laughed through the tears. Steve got up and slipped the ring onto Y/N’s finger before pulling her in for another kiss.
“When I get back, we’re going to have the best wedding. And Bucky will give the worst best man speech, we can dance all you want, and hell, I wear whatever tux you want no matter how uncomfortable it is.”
Y/N tried to laugh but all that came out was another sob as the tears once again welled up in her eyes. Steve held her in his arms trying to soothe her.
“I’ll come,” He breathed against her hair. “I swear it.”
“Stay,” Y/N whispered against his chest, tears now rolling down her cheeks.
“Y/N… I can’t- “
“I don’t mean don’t go tomorrow, I mean just stay for tonight.”
Steve bit his lip and closed his eyes. He let out a sigh and nodded. Y/N opened her door and the two walked inside.
Y/N woke the next morning to find herself alone. She looked over to the right side of the bed to find a piece of paper where Steve’s head once laid. She picked it up and unfolded it.
I’ll come home to you, my darling, I always will.
All my love,
Steve
Y/N put all her energy into her work. Taking every story, she could find. Anything to keep her distracted was very much appreciated. Y/N, of course, received many letters from Steve. Talking about his training and one even contained a humorous story about him pushing down a flagpole. Of course, he could not give any details about where he was or the specifics of his training, but Y/N loved each letter all the same. She did her best to write about happy things like work, Bill’s newborn son, Joe’s. It was comforting to know he was not yet in the line of danger. But she knew that time would come.
“Y/N! Boss wants to see you!”
“Thanks, Clark!” Y/N called back, getting up from her desk. She took a deep breath and smoothed out her skirt before making her way to the office door.
“You wanted to see me, sir?” Y/N asked poking her head into the office.
“Miss Y/L/N! Yes, come in. Have a seat.” The large man motioned to the chair in front of his desk. Y/N quickly sat down.
Nervous was an understatement for how she felt. Being unexpectedly called into the boss’ office could never be good.
“I’ve been looking over your work, and this is good stuff. You have a good eye for details and you’re not afraid to be blunt.”
“Hard truth is always better than a pretty lie is what my dad always said,” Y/N let out a nervous laugh.
“Glad to hear you say that, because I have a job for you, and I don’t want someone who will hold back!” He exclaimed. “A friend of mine, who’s a scientist that works with the army, has given me permission to send in one journalist to observe his new experiment tomorrow. Apparently, he has created a serum that will give a man incredible strength, making him a super soldier essentially.”
Y/N nodded, “And you want me to be the journalist you send?”
“If you’re up for it. You’re good at getting answers, which is damn near impossible to do with those army people. Got all their secrets under lock and key they do.” He grumbled.
“I have question sir, why did you pick me?”
“Because you’re new, untested waters. I don’t know how you are under pressure, how you deal with a hard story. The stuff you’ve been turning in is great, but I need someone who can go deeper. Who isn’t afraid to break a rule or two.”
“And you think that someone could be me?” Y/N asked, sounding a bit surprised.
He smiled. “Well, we won’t know unless you try, now will we?”
Y/N bit her lip, pondering the situation laid out before her. “I’ll do it!”
“Excellent! My friend’s name is Dr. Abraham Erskine. I’ll have my secretary send you the details you’ll need for tomorrow. You’re going to do great Miss Y/L/N, I can feel it in my bones!”
Y/N only wished she had the same feeling in her bones. Instead, she felt like she might vomit.
Y/N woke up early and put on her best suit, did her hair, and makeup. She wanted to look professional. Like she knew what she was doing. Which she did! To an extent…
Y/N called a cab and gave the driver the address she had been given. Not long after the cabs stopped in front of a small shop called Brooklyn Antiques. She paid the driver and made her way to the shop. A small woman, who stood behind the counter, smiled at her.
“Wonderful weather this morning, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but I always carry an umbrella” Y/N answered, making sure to say it exactly as she had been told to.
The old woman reached under the counter and pressed a button. Y/N walked through the curtain into another room. Where there was a large old bookshelf. A few seconds later, the bookshelf swung open revealing a hallway that resembled a military hospital. Y/N showed her ID to the soldier at the door who then led her into a small room that overlooked the laboratory. She couldn’t help but notice that she was the only woman in the room.
Everyone began to quiet down as the doors opened and a woman and soldier, who was presumably the one who would undergo the experiment, entered the lab below him. Y/N felt a breath get caught in her throat. She would recognize that man anywhere. She walked in shock as Steve removed his hat, shirt, and tie before climbing into what looked like a large metal casket.
“Jesus. Somebody get that kid a sandwich!” Y/N heard one of the men comment.
The woman who had entered with Steve walked into the booth. Upon seeing Y/N she walked straight towards her.
“Are you Miss Y/N Y/L/N?”
“I am. I’m here representing the Times.”
The woman smiled, “I’m Agent Carter, Steve talked about you the whole drive here. Even showed me a picture, which is how I recognized you. You’ve got a good man.”
“Yes, I do,” Y/N whispered looking down at her fiancé.
“Can you hear me? Is this on?” The Doctor spoke into the microphone. Everyone stopped talking and turned their attention towards him. “Ladies and gentlemen, today we take not another step towards annihilation, but the first step on the path of peace.
Y/N watched as they strapped Steve down and a nurse gave him a shot.
“Serum infusion beginning in, five, four, three, two, one!” The doctor ordered. A lever was pulled by one of the assistance and the blue liquid hooked up to the machine Steve was in was shot into his arms.
Stark pulled another lever and the thing Steve was in raised itself till he was in a standing up position. The metal coffin closed.
“Steve? Can you hear me?” Dr. Erskine asked tapping on the small window.
“It’s probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?”
Y/N couldn’t help but slightly smile at Steve’s humor.
Stark turned a dial and put on some glasses before slowly turning a small black wheel. “Ten percent! Twenty percent…Thirty!”
The light shining through the small window grew brighter and brighter. Y/N held up her hand, trying to shield her eyes from its harshness.
“Vital signs are normal!”
“Fifty percent! Sixty… seventy!”
Steve began to yell out as if he were in pain. Y/N sat forward, barely able to breathe. Agent Carter rushed out of the room.
“Steven! Steven!” Dr. Erskine shouted banging on the container.
“Shut it down!” Agent Carter ordered, now in the laboratory. “Shut it down!”
“Kill it Mr. Stark! Shut it down!”
“No!” Steve shouted making everyone freeze. “Don’t! I can do this!”
The Doctor nodded to Stark who started to turn the wheel again. Upon reaching one hundred percent, sparks began to fly from the machines and the light suddenly died out.
Everyone climbed to their feet as the container opened. But Y/N’s fiancé was not inside. In his place was a man who was about six feet tall, with muscles as large as Y/N’s head!
She couldn’t wait any longer. Y/N rushed out of the booth and made her way into the lab below. “Steve!” She exclaimed now standing in front of him.
“Y/N…” Steve fell into her arms, nearly crushing her. He would have if Dr. Erskine and Stark hadn’t pulled him back up. “What are you…”
“Never mind that! How do you feel?”
“Taller…” Steve muttered, looking around as if he were in a daze. A nurse handed Y/N a shirt that she passed to Steve. Once he was he got the shirt on and could stand on his own, Steve turned back to Y/N.
“What are you doing here?”
“Reporting for the Times!” Y/N exclaimed. “Also, what the hell!” Y/N punched Steve’s arm which hurt her more than it probably hurt him. “Since when did you decide to go and do a dangerous experiment?”
“Y/N I- “
“I’m your fiancé! Soon to be wife! You don’t keep things like that from me!”
Steve just shook his head and smiled before kissing her.
“Rogers!”
“Colonel Philips,” Steve answered turning to his boss. “May I introduce my fiancé, Y/N.”
“Nice to finally put a face to the girl Rogers won’t shut up about,”
“Did you tell everyone about me?” Y/N laughed shaking the Colonel’s hand.
Suddenly, there was an explosion in the booth. Steve shielded Y/N from the glass as they all crouched down.
“Stop him!” Dr. Erskine shouted. He was pointing at a man who had grabbed one of the vials contained the serum. He raised his gun and fired, hitting the doctor, before turning to run. Steve and Y/N rushed to the Doctor’s side.
The bullets had penetrated his chest. He could not speak. Dr. Erskine tapped Steve’s chest before taking his last breath.
Steve took off after the gunman with a look that scared Y/N. She said a quick prayer for the gunman’s soul.
Y/N paced outside the building waiting for Steve. He was getting tests run, or at least that was all anyone was willing to tell her. At the sound of a door opening Y/N stopped and turned. She rushed over and hugged Steve.
“It’s weird hugging such a tall guy,” She whispered making him laugh.
“God, I missed you” He pulled back just enough so he could kiss her. Once the need for air became too great to ignore, they pulled away from each other.
“So? What happens now?” Y/N asked holding his hands. They were so much bigger than her own!
“Well, the senator gave me job.”
“You’re not going with the Colonel?”
“No, says I’m not enough,” Steve muttered.
“Hey,” Y/N put her hands on his cheeks. Was it just her or did his jawbone somehow become even sexier? “Don’t listen to that asshole.”
Steve smiled, “You have no clue how much I missed you, darling.”
Y/N let out a squeal as Steve picked her up and spun her around. “Bigger you is going to take some getting used to!”
Jo’s hand began to shake as she reached for her coffee. She quickly withdrew her hand, spotting the waitress who was glancing at her.
“You alright hun?”
“Yeah, just waiting for it to cool down.” Jo smiled at the woman. The waitress nodded and walked on.
“Says the girl who likes her coffee so hot I’m pretty sure it could be considered lava” Phil mumbled as he sat down across from Jo. “How’s rehab going?”
“As good as to be expected,” Jo held up her hand that was still slightly shaking. “Tony’s mentioned some experiments he could do to repair the nerves, but I turned him down.”
“You still wear the gloves.”
“The scars are a bit more than most people’s stomachs can handle.”
“I still don’t understand,” Phil shook his head as he spoke. “Why’d you, do it?”
Jo sighed, “I’ve talked about this.”
“Yes, yes, you wanted to make it bleed! But you kept hitting even after you knew it wouldn’t.”
“I couldn’t make it bleed, so I made me bleed,” Jo stated, looking out the window of the diner. “How do you like being the director?”
“It sucks!” Coulson spat. “Kind of wish I was an agent again.”
Jo shook her head and smiled. “But we all know you’re the best man for the job.”
“So, where’s your dad?” Phil asked ignoring Jo’s comment.
“On a mission.”
“And you’re not there because…?”
“He doesn’t think I’m ready,” Jo growled, recalling her argument with Steve.
“It’s been a year! Doesn’t he know about the solo missions you’ve been on?”
“Of course not! He’d flip! Honestly, the man looks at like a broken child. Makes me miss the days of being alone.”
Phil nodded in understanding. “You always have a place at Shield, if you want it.”
“That’d be going from one team to another,” Jo shook her head.
“Are you actually considering leaving?”
Jo did not have an answer. To be honest she had thought about it, but knew Steve would scour the Earth for her if she did.
“Jo? What’s going on inside that head of yours?” Phil asked gently. He reached across the table and took her trembling hands in his.
“I miss him,” She croaked. It hurt to say it, but it was true. Everywhere she looked was another reminder of the love she had lost. And time didn’t seem to be healing anything.
Before Phil could respond, everyone’s attention turned towards the small television as the waitress raised the volume. A news reporter was talking about an explosion at a hospital in Lagos. The explosion, she was saying, was caused by the Avengers.
“I gotta go!” both Phil and Jo whispered before rushing out of the diner.
Jo jumped onto her bike and its engine roared to life. She sped off towards the Avengers facility.
“Friday! Where’s Steve?” Jo shouted upon entering the compound.
“Captain Rogers is with Miss Maximoff. But Mr. Stark has called a team meeting in the conference room.”
“Thanks!”
“You’re welcome Supreme Leader Jo.”
Jo smirked at the title. She had figured out how to change her name in Friday’s system within the first week of living at the compound. Although she had received a disapproving look from Steve, it had made Tony laugh.
“Ah! Agent Carter, Glad you could join us!”
“Mr. Secretary,” Jo muttered sitting down beside Sam who smiled at her. She ignored the look she was getting from Steve.
“As I was saying. About five years ago I had a heart attack and dropped right in the middle of my backswing. Turned out it was the best round of my life because, after thirteen hours of surgery and a triple bypass, I found something forty years in the army never taught me.” The Secretary of State paused as if to add dramatic effect. “Perspective. The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives. But while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some, who would prefer the word vigilante.”
“And what word would you use Mr. Secretary?” Natasha asked.
“How about dangerous? What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals, who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose, and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?” Mr. Secretary stepped aside as the screen behind him flickered on. Showing footage from New York, Washington D.C., Sokovia, and Lagos.
“That’s enough,” Jo stated, noticing Wanda’s reaction. Jo had read up on what happened before entering the meeting. Going in unprepared was never an option for her.
Mr. Secretary nodded and turned off the footage. “For the past four years, you’ve operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That’s an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution.” He turned to his assistant who handed him a large folder. “The Sokovia Accords,” He slid the folder over to Wanda. “Approved by one hundred and seventeen countries, it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they’ll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel only when and if that panel deems it necessary. “
“The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place. I feel we’ve done that.” Steve spoke up.
“Tell me, Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?”
Steve did not have a response for that.
“If I misplaced a couple of thirty megaton nukes, you can bet there’d be consequences.” Mr. Secretary stated. “Compromise. Reassurance. That’s how the world works. Believe me, this is the middle ground.” He pointed to the binder, that was now held by Rhodey.
“So, there are contingencies.”
“Three days from now the UN meets in Vienna to ratify the accords. Talk it over.”
“And if we come to a decision you don’t like?” Nat asked.
“Then you retire.”
Jo held back every sarcastic, smartass remark she wanted to make.
“Secretary Ross has a congressional medal of honor, which is one more than you have!”
“And medals are what gives him the right to control us?” Jo growled. Rhodey glanced at Jo with an annoyed look. Steve sat in one chair looking over the accords while Tony lounged in another chair across from him.
“So let’s say we sign this thing. How long do you think it’ll be before they low-jack us like a bunch of common criminals?”
“One hundred and seventeen countries want to sign this thing Sam, and you’re just gonna be like “No it’s cool. We got this.””
“How long are you going to play both sides?”
“I have an equation,” Vision stated.
“Oh, this’ll clear things up,” Jo muttered.
“In the eight years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Ironman the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And, during the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.”
“Are you saying it’s our fault?”
“I’m saying there may be a causality.” Vision answered. “Our very strength invited challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict breeds catastrophe. Oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.”
“Boom,” Rhodey stated looking at Sam who rolled his eyes.
“Tony,” Nat spoke up. “You’re being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal.”
“It’s because he’s already made up his mind,” Steve stated.
“Boy, you know me so well,” Tony grunted standing up and walking to the kitchen sink. “Actually, I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache. That’s what’s going on Cap, it’s just pain. It’s discomfort. Who’s putting coffee grounds in the garbage disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?” Tony placed his phone on the counter and tapped the screen. An image of a young man sprang up. “Oh, that’s Charles Spencer, by the way. He’s a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA, had a floor level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul, before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charlie didn’t wanna go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn’t go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer, building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where. Sokovia.”
No one spoke. There was nothing to say.
“He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass. There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check!” Tony shouted. “Whatever form that takes, I’m game. If we can’t accept limitations, if we’re boundary-less, we’re no better than the bad guys.”
“Tony, if someone dies on your watch you don’t give up,” Steve spoke up.
“Who says we’re giving up?”
“We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame.”
“Sorry, Steve. That is dangerously arrogant!” Rhodey exclaimed. “This is the United Nations we’re talking about. It’s not the World Security Council, it’s not Shield, it’s not Hydra.”
“Right. Because the United Nations is apparently some higher overlord who we should bow down to!” Jo shouted.
“Jo- “
“No! We don’t need to be put in check, he does!” Jo pointed to Tony as she spoke. “You started this! You built Ultron! It’s your mistakes that got us here. Don’t take the rest of us down with you!” Jo growled
No one knew how to respond to Jo’s outburst. Tony just stared at her with his mouth slightly opened.
“She has a point about the UN,” Steve finally spoke. “It’s run by people with agendas and agendas change.”
“That’s good! That’s why I’m here!’ Tony exclaimed walking over, regaining control of himself. “When I realized, what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing.”
“Tony, you chose to do that!” Steve shot back. “If we sign this, we’re surrendering our right to choose. What if the panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go? What if there’s somewhere we need to go, and they don’t let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”
“If we don’t do this now, it’s going to be done to us later,” Tony warned. “That’s a fact. That won’t be pretty.”
“Are you saying they’ll come for me?” Wanda asked.
“We would protect you,” Vision answered.
“Maybe Tony’s right,” Nat said. “If we have one hand on the wheel we can still steer. If we take it off…”
“Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam asked in complete shock.
Jo noticed Steve’s face fall as he realized Natasha was not on his side.
“I’m just reading the terrain. We have made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back.”
“Focus up. I’m sorry, did I just mishear you or did you agree with me?” Tony asked.
“Oh. I want to take it back now.”
“No, you can’t retract it!”
Jo’s phone buzzed, and she took it out of her pocket. It was a text from Sharon. She opened the text and felt her heart drop at what appeared on the screen. “I have to go.” Jo didn’t wait for anyone to respond before walking away.
Jo made it to the bottom of the stairwell and leaned against the wall. She looked at her phone, making sure she hadn’t misread the text.
“What happened?”
Jo looked up as Steve reached her side. She shook her head. “She’s gone,” Jo whispered handing him the phone.
Steve froze as he read the text. For a moment, neither of them said anything. Steve pulled Jo into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Jo pulled herself away from him. “It was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“Are you- “
“I’m fine,” Jo growled walking back up the stairs. The last thing she wanted was someone else asking if she was okay.
The flying city was in chaos. Jo tore down another robot, the metal cutting through her knuckles. The ground began to shake as a jet from above opened fire on them. She took cover behind a statue, grunting as Jo slammed her back into the concrete. She saw Clint a few yards away holding a small boy, standing directly in the path of the jet. She stood, ready to rush to his aid when there was a gust of wind and suddenly, Clint was gone. The dust settled, and everything seemed to become quiet.
Pietro stood where Clint had been, who was now safely behind a car still holding the boy. Pietro looked at Jo and she could see the shock in his eyes. She could feel the scream building up in her chest as she ran to him. He hit the ground before Jo could reach him
“No”, Jo whispered dropping to her knees. She turned Pietro over, there were too many bullet wounds to count. Clint checked for a pulse but shook his head. Now, the scream came belting out and the tears flowed freely.
“Such a pity.”
Jo jumped to her feet at the sound of Ultron’s voice, turning to see one of his minions standing before her.
“Jo,” Steve warned. But she didn’t hear him.
All she could hear, all she could feel, was her rage.
Jo sat up gasping for air. Pietro looked over at her with a concerned expression.
“I was just coming to wake you, we’re here. Are you alright?”
She nodded and stood, trying to shake off the effects of the dream. But how do you forget watching the man you love die? It couldn’t have been like the others. There was no way this one would come true!
“See you soon” Pietro whispered kissing the top of Jo’s head before zooming off to warn city officials.
Wanda used her powers to make people evacuate. Thor and Banner left for Ultron’s lair to find out his plans and to find Natasha. Steve and Jo worked on the streets, directing traffic and people to safety. Iron-man began his search for Ultron.
“So, you and Pietro?” Steve shouted over the chaos.
“If we get through this, then, you can ask about my dating life!” Jo growled jumping out of the way of an oncoming car.
Suddenly, robots began climbing out of the ground and up the bridge. One flew at Jo and she jumped up, tearing off its head. Cap blocked a blast and took another down.
“Run!” He shouted to the bystanders. People began to scream and grab their children.
The ground began to shake, and Jo and Cap stood on the edge of the bridge as it broke away from the ground. Sokovia was going for a ride.
A robot flew straight at Cap and threw him into a car.
“Cap you got incoming!” Tony warned.
“Incoming already came in!” Jo grunted running to help. She took out her gun and shot at the robots, drawing their attention away from the civilians.
“Stark you worry about getting the city back down safely, the rest of us have one job,” Steve ordered. “Tear these things apart. You get hurt, hurt them back. You get killed, walk it off.”
“How encouraging,” Jo muttered as she tore the arm off another robot. She used it to beat the other one to death.
“Jo!” Steve shouted as he ran towards a car about to fall off the bridge. He grabbed the bumper and tried to pull the woman up, but the bumper broke off and both cars fell. Thor flew down and threw the woman up to Steve who was now hanging off the edge of the bridge.
Jo knelt to the ground and pulled up the woman.
“You can’t save them all” a robot spoke as it landed behind Jo. Steve threw his shield into its chest as he climbed back up. “You’ll never- “But before he could finish Steve grabbed his shield and Jo kicked the robot off the bridge.
“You’ll never what? You didn’t finish!” Jo shouted. Steve slightly chuckled. They both jumped back as Thor dropped the second car beside them and landing on top of it.
“What, were you napping?” Steve asked as they headed back to the battle.
“Father like daughter,” Thor grunted.
They continued to fight. Cap threw his shield taking down multiple robots at once. Thor threw his hammer at a gas truck causing an explosion.
“We’re all clear here!” Clint reported.
“We are not clear! We are very not clear!” Jo shouted. She threw a metal pole and it went straight through a robot’s chest.
“Alright, coming to you,” Clint responded.
“Romanoff!” Jo shouted. She grabbed Steve’s shield and threw it, taking down the robot behind Natasha.
“Thanks!”
“Stop taking my shield!”
“Then move faster old man!” Jo chuckled before taking off.
“The next waves gonna hit any minute. What do you got Stark!” Steve demanded.
“Well, nothing great. Maybe a way to blow up the city. That’ll keep it from impacting the surface if you guys can get clear.”
“I asked for a solution, not an escape plan.”
“Impact radius is getting bigger every second. We’re gonna have to make a choice.”
“Cap these people are going nowhere,” Nat spoke up. “If Stark’s found a way to blow this rock- “
“Not till everyone’s safe” Steve responded.
“Everyone up here versus everyone down there? There’s no math there.”
“I’m not leaving this rock with one civilian on it” Steve stated. Jo knew there was no changing his mind.
“I didn’t say we should leave.” Jo and Steve looked at Natasha surprised. “There are worse ways to go,” She shrugged as she spoke. “Where else am I gonna get a view like this?”
“Glad you like the view, Romanoff. It’s about to get better.”
The three of them looked towards the sky in shock as a helicarrier fly into their line of sight.
“Nice, right? Pulled out a couple of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She’s dusty, but she’ll do.” Nick Fury spoke.
“Fury, you son of a bitch.”
“Woah! Steve! Teach your daughter some manners!”
“I’ve tried, but you know how she can get” Steve chuckled.
Pietro zoomed over to them as they watched the lifeboats fly towards the city.
“This is Shield?”
“This what’s Shield supposed to be” Steve answered.
“This is not so bad,” Pietro smiled at Jo as he spoke. She couldn’t help but smile back. They were saved! The chances of her dream coming dream seemed to become smaller with every passing second. They might actually have a chance at winning this thing.
“Let’s load them up,” Steve ordered. They got to work.
Jo worked tirelessly, running back and forth between groups of people and the lifeboats. Shouting orders and helping people along. Pietro helped speed things along by carrying people onto the boats.
“We’re running out of time! They’re coming for the core!” Thor reported.
“Avengers, time to work for a living!” Tony ordered.
Pietro grabbed Jo and rushed them to the church. They arrived just as Clint and Wanda did.
“You good?”
“Yes,” Wanda nodded as she spoke. Cap and Tony entered.
“Romanoff, you and Banner better not be playing hide the zucchini,” Tony warned in a teasing tone.
“Relax shell head, not all of us could fly.” The truck skidded to a stop and Nat jumped out. “What’s the drill?”
“This is the drill,” Tony answered pointing to the metal cylinder sticking out of the ground. “Ultron gets a hand on the core we lose.”
Hulk landed on two robots and entered the church. They all turned at the sight of Ultron flying before them.
“Is that the best you can do!” Thor shouted.
Ultron glanced at him and raised his hand. An army of robots came running up behind him.
“You had to ask,” Steve muttered.
“Now, you sound like a dad.” Steve glanced back at Jo who smirked.
“This is the best I can do” Ultron spoke. “This is exactly what I wanted. All of you against all of me. How can you possibly hope to stop me?”
“Well, like the old man said, together,” Tony answered glancing at Steve.
Hulk let out a roar as the army came charging towards them. Jo stood her ground between Natasha and Clint. Adrenalin pumping through her veins, the feeling of the metal body parts crumbling in her grasp like they were no stronger than a cracker! Oh, how she missed the battlefield.
Jo turned in time to see Hulk punk a broken Ultron into the sky and his goons retreat.
“They’ll try to leave the city!”
“We can’t let them. Not even one. Rhodey!”
“I’m on it!” Rhodey responded. Jo caught a glimpse of the war machine as he flew into action.
“We gotta move out!” Steve ordered. “Even I can tell the air’s getting thin. You guys get to the boats, I’ll sweep for stragglers. I’ll be right behind you.”
“What about the core?”
“I’ll protect it” Wanda stated. “It’s my job.”
Clint and Nat took off, Steve glanced at Jo.
“Right behind you” She reassured. Steve nodded and left.
Pietro rushed in a few seconds later.
“Get the people on the boats.”
“I’m not leaving you here,”
“She can handle this” Jo reassured as Wanda took down another robot.
“Come for me after you get everyone off, not before,” Wanda ordered. “And you go help the Captain look for anyone who might have been left behind.”
“You know, we’re both older than you.”
“Doesn’t change the fact she’s always been the one in charge” Jo chuckled. She gave Pietro a peck on the lips. “See you on the boats!” She called heading in the direction Steve had gone.
“Find anyone else?” Jo called as jogged over to Steve who was ushering people out of an apartment building.
“No, this is it” He answered as the two took up the rear of the group heading for the boats. “Jo, listen if we- “
“I know where you’re going so don’t”
“No, I need to- “
“I don’t do goodbyes. I think I’ve told you that. Did I ever I tell you why?”
Steve shook his head.
“Because goodbyes are finale. They end something, and nothing is every finale in our line of work. You were frozen for seventy years, Coulson was brought back from the dead. I don’t do goodbyes because I don’t want to believe something could actually end. It’s one of the few hopes I have left in this life so don’t take that from me just because you need some kind of bullshit like closure.”
“I was just going to tell you I love you.”
“Love you too pops” Jo whispered as they approached Thor.
“Is this the last of them?” Thor shouted over the chaos.
“Yeah, everyone else is on the carrier.”
“You, this works, we maybe don’t walk away.”
“I just gave Steve no goodbyes speech so don’t pull this shit right now Stark!” Jo ordered, making all three men chuckle. “Glad to know even in the face of death I’m still funny.”
Jo let out a gasp as she realized something.
“Jo, what is it?” Steve asked, clearly concerned.
Steve was there, and so was Thor. Jo looked to her left and saw a statue that looked familiar. She spun around looking in every direction.
“Jo what’s going – “
“Where’s Clint!”
“What?”
“Where’s Barton!” She demanded again. Suddenly, the ground shook and dust and rubble filled the air as a jet opened fire on them. Steve shoved Jo behind the statue. She let out a grunt as her back hit the concrete. And then she saw him.
Clint stood directly in the path of the jet, holding a child in his arms.
“The rules have changed.”
“We’re dealing with something new.”
“Well, the Vision’s artificial intelligence.”
“A machine.”
“So, it doesn’t count?” Steve asked as he, Tony, and Thor walked down a hallway in the Avenger’s facility in Upstate New York.
“Right. It’s not like a person lifting the hammer.” Tony answered.
“Right, different rules for us.”
“Nice guy. Artificial.”
“Thank you!”
“He can wield the hammer, he can keep the mind stone” Thor stated. “It’s safe with the Vision. And these days, safe is in short supply.”
“But if you put the hammer in an elevator…”
“It would still go up!”
“Elevators not worthy” Steve muttered.
“I’m gonna miss these little talks of ours” Thor chuckled.
“Not if you don’t leave.”
“I have no choice. The Mind Stone is the fourth of the Infinity Stones to show up in the last few years. It’s not a coincidence.”
The three of them walked outside onto the front lawn of the facility.
“Someone has been playing an intricate game and has made pawns of us. And once all these pieces are in position…”
“Tripe Yahtzee!” Tony exclaimed as they came to a stop on the grass.
“You think you can find out what’s coming?” Steve asked.
“I do. Besides this one, there’s nothing that can’t be explained!” Thor exclaimed slapping Tony on the chest. Thor nodded and raised his hammer. A beam of blue light surrounded him as he shot into the sky. A few seconds later, Thor was gone, leaving a circle with weird marking burned onto the grass.
“That man has no regard for lawn maintenance,” Tony muttered. “I’m gonna miss him though. And you’re gonna miss me. There’s gonna be a lot of manful tears.” Tony clicked a button on a small remote and his car drove over to them.
“I will miss you, Tony.”
“Yeah? Well, it’s time for me to tap out. Maybe I should take a page out of Barton’s book. Build Pepper a farm, hope nobody blow’s it up.”
“The simple life.”
“You’ll get there one day” Tony reassured.
“I don’t know. Family, stability… The guy who wanted all that went in the ice seventy-five years ago. I think someone else came out.”
“What about Jo?”
“I highly doubt we’ll be getting that apartment in Brooklyn anytime soon. Not when I can barely get her to talk to me.”
“Give her time. This is the first time it’s been peaceful since we rescued her, and considering what she’s been through… just, don’t give up on her. Not when she needs you most.”
Steve raised his eyebrow slightly. “Thought you two hated each other?”
“In a weird brother-sister way, yeah, but, she is family.” Tony opened the door to the driver’s side as he spoke.
“Glad to know she has someone like you watching out for her.”
“You know, most people wouldn’t see that as a reassuring thing.”
“I do,” Steve stated. Tony slightly smiled and nodded before getting into his car.
Steve watched the dust settle for a moment after Tony left before heading back inside the compound.
“I have missed you every day” He whispered.
The sound of her fist hitting the leather filled the empty gym.
“When this is over you and I are going far away. I’m going to take you on a real date.”
She punched harder, probably ripping open the wounds on her hands.
“Where?”
“Anywhere you want to go my luchik (Russian for little ray of light)” He answered before kissing her again.
The punching bag snapped off its chain and flew across the room, its contents spilling all over the floor. Jo stood there with her eyes closed, breathing hard. Trying to hold onto the memories, but she could feel them slipping away. Becoming what they now were, no longer hopes for a future, but pieces of what could have been.
“I think my record is twenty-six.”
“What?” Jo spat turning around. Steve stood in the doorway with his arms crossed.
“How many bags I’ve broken, twenty-six.”
Jo ignored his words and unwrapped the dirty bandages from her hands. She reached into her bag and took out the roll of clean ones and started to wrap up her hands, but she could not stop the shaking.
“Here, let me help,” Steve spoke gently as he approached Jo. He carefully took the bandages from her and held her hand as he wrapped them.
“Thanks,” Jo muttered.
“You probably just added a few more weeks of rehab to your list. You need to give you wounds time to heal properly or there could be permanent damage.”
“The damage is already done.” Once Steve finished Jo took the roll and tossed it into her bag.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Might help.”
“I said no,” Jo growled grabbing her things and turning to leave.
“Why did you keep punching it?”
Jo stopped walking and turned back to her father. “What?”
“The Robot. Even after you knew it was dead you kept punching it, why? Just wanted to get your anger out?”
Jo sighed and pushed her sweaty hair out of her eyes. “I wanted to see it bleed.”
“It was a robot.”
“And I wanted it to feel pain, I wanted the feeling of satisfaction as its blood coated my hands.” Jo was pretty sure her words scared Steve slightly, but she could care less.
“I understand what- “
“Oh don’t! Don’t try and relate to what I’m feeling because you can’t!” She shouted dropping her bag. “You were robbed of your chance to live a life while I am stuck living! I don’t age! I’ve been stuck at sixteen for seventy years! I don’t get to grow old and build a life with anyone! I’m an agent and that is all I can ever be! There is no place for in this world.”
Steve shook his head, “I’m sorry.”
“Everyone is.” Jo scoffed. She reached for her bag but stopped when she saw Steve walking over to the pile of punching bags.
He picked up one and hung it on the chain. “Want to see if you can beat my record.”
Jo’s jaw opened slightly in shock. “Thought you said I should let my wounds heal?”
“Each person heals differently.” Steve was still standing by the bag.
Jo took a small step forward, “Why are you doing this?”
“Because talking doesn’t help you, actions do, and I want to help you, Jo. I want to be there for you in any way you’ll let me” Steve pleaded.
Jo slightly swayed on her feet for a moment, before walking towards her dad.
Summary:Jo Carter is Shield’s top agent and biggest secret. Though nothing as big as her own secret. She is the daughter of Captain America and Shield’s own founder, Peggy Carter. Her father never even knew Peggy was pregnant before he went into the ice, so what will happen when he wakes up? More importantly, how will Jo handle meeting her father for the first time?
Ever since Chris learned your name he seemed to suddenly know lots of things about you. He knew how you liked your coffee and would occasionally show up with a cup when he wanted to come over and chat. The guy always seemed to have chocolate on him, not that you were complaining. Especially since he did not mind sharing. You two finally had a real friendship and you could not be happier. Of course, you tried not to get your hopes up but were completely failing. Because every time you saw him approach your door, or he smiled at you, or you heard his laugh you could feel your heart stop. You could feel yourself trying not to blush and you didn’t realize you had been smiling the whole time he’d been there until your cheeks started to hurt.
You were arranging the new roses that had just come in when your phone dinged. You walked over and opened the text, not bothering to stop the small smile at the sight of Chris’s name on your screen.
Up for an adventure? - C
You chuckled and quickly typed back a reply.
Always! – Y/N
Great! So here are the rules! I’ll send you clues on how to find my super-secret locations and then you send a pic letting me know you’re there before I send the next clue! Are you up to the challenge? – C
Bring it on Evans! – Y/N
You bit your lip anxiously awaiting his reply. What was Chris up to? Was this one of his silly pranks?
First clue: White chocolate raspberry cheesecake – C
You had to laugh out loud at this.
You could at least make it hard! – Y/N
You threw on your coat and closed up shop before heading your way. You knew exactly where Chris was talking about.
You arrived at the little café and headed inside. The man behind the cash register, Tony, instantly began to watch your every move. You couldn’t blame him considering what had happened last time you were here.
“Relax, Chris isn’t with me”
Tony sighed with relief. “I figured since he stopped by earlier and told me to give you this,” Tony reached under the counter and brought out an Amaryllis and handed it to you.
“Thanks!” You called before heading outside. You took out your phone and held the flower up and took a selfie, making sure to get the café’s sign in the background.
Found your gift! – Y/N
AnAmaryllis, which means beauty, for a beautiful girl – C
You feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you typed back a reply.
Quit your flirting Evans and tell me the next clue! – Y/N
Anxious, are we? Alright then, your second clue is: Pigeon - C
You could at least make this hard – Y/N
You put your phone away and headed to your next destination.
You arrived at the pigeon park and smiled at the memory of Chris being chased by a whole flock of them because he refused to give them more food. You could almost hear him yelling about how they needed to stop being selfish and share the food with each other.
“Oh miss! Excuse me! Miss!”
You spun around and noticed an old woman sitting on a bench who was waving at you. “Yes?” You asked approaching her.
“Are you Y/N?”
“I am, how did you- “
“Chris asked me to give this to you” She smiled at you as she held out an Aster.
“Thank you!”
“You’ve got yourself quite the boyfriend” She gave you one of those knowing looks old women give.
You smiled and thanked her once again before heading towards the pigeons. You took another selfie with the flower and pigeons before sending it to Chris.
Saw your old pals – Y/N
A flower that represents patience because those damn birds need to learn some patience! – C
Is this scavenger hunt leading somewhere? – Y/N
Patience. Now, your third, and FINALE clue, is: Popsicles – C
You rolled your eyes and put your phone in your pocket before calling an uber. This was not a location you could walk to.
“Thanks!” You called to the Uber driver as you climbed out. He gave you a quick wave before driving off. You headed down the trail that leads into the woods. Why Chris had chosen this place, you didn’t know. The two of you had hung out here a couple of times and had even brought popsicles to enjoy one warm day like you had done as a kid. That had been one sticky disaster.
You finally entered the clearing where a small, white gazebo sat in the center of it. When you got closer, you gasped.
“You found me,” Chris smiled and stepped out onto the grass. You couldn’t believe what you saw.
The gazebo was decorated with multiple kinds of flowers. Gillyflowers, Gardenias, and even some yellow acacias could be seen. Then there stood Chris at the center of it all, holding a red rose.
“I know they don’t all match, but they all mean relatively the same thing and the website these were good ones to give someone you love.”
“Love?” You whispered, eyes going wide.
“Yeah, love” Chris bit his lip and swayed a bit on his feet, obviously nervous.
You stepped closer and took the rose from him, smiling down at the bouquet you now had. You stood on your tiptoes and lightly pressed your lips against his. Chris placed his hands on your hips pulling you closer.
“Does that mean you love me too?” He breathed when you pulled away.
“I wouldn’t have kissed your stupid face if I didn’t.”
Chris laughed and kissed you again.
“You’re squishing my flowers!” You giggled.
“I’ll buy you more,” Chris ignored your complaint and wrapped his arms around you. “Love you flower girl.”
“Love you too dumbass.”
“Can I have a different nickname?”
“Why? The current one suits you.”
Chris rolled his eyes, “Just shut up and kiss me.”
You had no complaints about complying with his request.
The Avengers were all in Clint’s house as he sat in the living room with his family. Tony threw darts, Natasha and Jo sat at the dining room table, Banner stuck to a corner, and Steve leaned against a wall.
“Ultron took you folks out of play to buy himself time. My contacts all say he’s building something. With the amount of vibrainum he made off with, I don’t think it’s just one thing.”
“What about Ultron himself?”
“He’s easy to track. He’s everywhere. The guy is multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit. It still doesn’t help us get an angle on any of his plans, though” Fury explained.
“Is he still going after launch codes?”
“Yes, he is. But he’s not making any headway.”
“I cracked the Pentagon’s firewall in high school on a dare!” Tony exclaimed.
“Yeah, well I contacted our friends at the Nexus about that.”
“Nexus?”
“It’s the world internet hub in Oslo.” Banner answered. “Every bite of data flows through there. Fastest access on Earth.”
“So, what’d they say?”
He’s fixated on the missiles, but the codes are constantly being changed?”
“By whom?” Tony asked. He flinched as an arrow sped past him, hitting the bullseye on the board. Clint slightly smirked.
“Unknown parties”
“Do we have an alley?”
“Ultron’s got an enemy. That’s not the same thing.”
“Still, I’d pay folding money to know who it is” Jo muttered.
“I might need to visit Oslo, find out who our unknown is.”
“Well, this is good times boss. But I was kind of hoping when I saw you, you’d have more than that” Jo remarked.
“I do. I have you.” Fury responded. “Back in the day, I had eyes everywhere. Ears everywhere else. You kids had all the tech you could dream up. Here we all are, back on Earth, with nothing but our wit and our will to save the world. Ultron says the Avengers are the only thing standing between him and his mission. And whether or not he admits it, his mission is global destruction. All this, laid in a grace. So, stand. Outwit the platinum bastard.”
“Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk”
“You know what Romanoff?” Steve groaned.
“So, what does he want?”
“To become better,” Steve spoke up. “Better than us. He keeps building bodies.”
“Person bodies. The human form is inefficient. Biologically speaking, we’re outmoded. But he keeps coming back to it” Tony added.
Jo noticed Banner stepping towards the table. He was looking at the drawing of a butterfly Clint’s daughter had made Natasha.
“When you two programmed him to protect the human race, you amazingly failed.”
“They don’t need to be protected,” Banner muttered. “They need to evolve. Ultron is going to evolve.”
“How?”
“Has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?”
“I’ll take Natasha, Clint, and Jo” Steve spoke as he attached his shield to his back.
“Alright, strictly recon. I’ll head to Nexus and join you as soon as I can” Tony answered as the two walked towards the front door.
“If Ultron’s really building a body, he’ll be more powerful than any of us.”
“Maybe all of us” Tony added. “An android designed by a robot.”
“You know, I really miss the days when the weirdest thing science ever created was us,” Jo remarked as she approached the two men. Steve nodded in agreement.
“I’ll drop banner off at the tower,” Nick said as he slipped on his coat. “You mind if I borrow Ms. Hill?”
“She’s all yours. Apparently.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Something dramatic I hope,” Fury smirked as spoke and then headed out the door.
Cap and Jo climbed onto the roof of a building as the quinjet flew off.
“Two minutes. Stay close.” Steve ordered.
The two rushed into the lab, Jo glanced around, noticing the dead scientists and broken equipment.
“Doctor Cho!” Steve exclaimed, rushing over to the injured woman. They knelt before her, Jo grabbed a towel and applied pressure to her wound.
“He’s uploading himself into the body,” Cho gasped.
“Where?” Steve demanded, but Cho shook her head. He moved to get up but Cho stopped him.
“The real power is in the cradle. The gem, it’s power is uncontainable. You can’t just blow it up. You have to get the cradle to Stark.” Cho explained.
“First, we have to find it.”
“Go,” Cho croaked.
“Did you guys copy that?” Jo asked as she and Steve moved through the building.
“We did” Clint answered.
“I got a private jet taking off across town. No manifest. That could be him.”
“There, it’s a truck from the lab” Clint spoke up, looking down at the highway below him. “Right above you Cap. On the loop by the bridge. It’s them. Three with the cradle, one in the cab. I could take out the driver.”
“Negative!” Steve exclaimed. “That truck crashes the gem could level the city. We need to draw out Ultron.”
Jo and Steve made it to the highway above the road the truck was on. They waited for the truck to get closer before raising across the road and jumping down. They landed on the truck with a thud. Cap climbed down onto the back doors just as they were blasted open. They hit the ground with Steve on top.
“Well, he’s definitely unhappy. I’m gonna try and keep him that way.”
“You’re not a match for him Cap, even with Jo’s help”
“Thanks, Barton” Jo grumbled, the sarcasm in her tone was obvious.
Ultron blasted Steve onto the car behind them. He grabbed onto another car and flung himself onto the roof of the car.
“You know what’s in that cradle?” Ultron asked. Steve and Jo hid behind his shield as Ultron shot another blast of energy at them. “The power to make real change. And that terrifies you.”
“I wouldn’t call it a comfort,” Jo snatched the shield and threw it at Ultron. It bounced off the robot back to her.
“Hey, that’s my move!”
“Then move a little faster old man!” Jo grunted as she rolled out of the way of Ultron’s blow. Steve threw the shield this time and it got lodged in Ultron’s chest.
“Stop it!” Ultron growled. He tossed the shield onto the road and blasted Steve onto the top of the cab. He struggled to climb back up.
Jo swung her arms around the robot’s neck from behind and they wrestled. Ultron grabbed her arm and spun Jo around before picking her up by the neck. Jo glanced down in time to see Natasha on a motorcycle, who tossed her Steve’s shield. She used it free herself and rolled out of the way as Ultron fell. Steve made it back up shoved Ultron back down just as he tried to stand. A blast of energy shot Jo onto the car following them. Before she could stand, Ultron lifted the ground causing the car to flip. Jo scrambled to her feet and moved out of the way of the flying vehicles. She jumped off a moving car and back onto the roof of the truck. She grabbed Ultron by the head as she flew through the air and flipped him. Steve caught the shield and brought it down on the platinum bastard.
Suddenly, the quinjet came around a building and Clint fired on Ultron. The guards who were still with the cradle now flew towards the quinjet.
Steve grabbed Ultron and threw him into a concrete pillar. The metal man flew back and he and Steve tackled each other, falling into a nearby train. Jo followed.
“I’m going in, can you guys keep him busy?”
“What do you think we’ve been doing?” Steve sighed as he dodged another blast.
Natasha jumped off her biked and into the back of the truck. Before she could do anything, the two robot guards grabbed the sides of the truck and lifted it into the air.
“Package is airborne, should I take the shot?” Clint asked once the truck was over water.
“Negative, I am still in the truck!”
“What the hell are you-”
“Just be ready” Nat ordered. “I’m sending the package to you.”
“How do you want me to take it?”
“Um, you might wish you hadn’t asked that,” Nat remarked as she cut off the straps.
Jo ducked and kicked Ultron’s feet out from under him. Wit in seconds he had her against the wall. Jo tilted her head, dodging another punch. She grunted in pain as one hit her on the side. Out of nowhere came a flash of blew and Ultron went flying. Red energy controlled the luggage racks, trapping Ultron on the other side of the train. Jo looked over at Pietro who winked at her. She couldn’t stop the small smile from appearing on her face. The interaction did not go unnoticed by Steve, though he knew this was no time to bring it up.
“Please, don’t do this” Ultron pleaded.
“What choice do we have?” Wanda asked. Ultron fired at Pietro who moved out of the way in time before he flew out of the train.
“We lost him! He’s headed your way!” Steve exclaimed as him and Jo raced to the other side of the train. They found a dead conductor and saw the end of the tracks quickly approaching. The train went off the tracks, people held onto whatever they could.
“Cap, have you seen Nat?”
“If you have the package, get it to Stark!”
“Do you have eyes on Nat!”
“Go!” Jo screamed, trying to keep herself from flying off the train. “There are civilians in our path!” She shouted at Pietro who nodded before speeding off.
“Can you stop this thing?” Steve asked looking to Wanda. She nodded.
Jo watched as her friend shot red energy from her hands. She heard the creaking of the train as Wanda struggled to bring it to a stop, but she was successful. Once the train stopped people began to help one another off. Wanda and Jo rushed over to Pietro who was bent over panting.
“I’m fine, I just need to take a minute” He assured them, leaning against a wall.
“I’m very tempted not to give you one,” Steve remarked.
“The cradle, did you get it?”
“Stark will take care of it.”
“No, he won’t.”
Jo didn’t like the look on Wanda’s face. “What is it?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Stark’s not crazy.”
“He will do anything to make things right!” Wanda exclaimed. Steve looked at her for a moment before stepping back.
“Stark come in. Is anyone on coms?”
“Ultron can’t tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it” Wanda explained. “Where do you think he gets that?”
“I’m gonna say this once” Steve boomed as they entered the lab.
“How about nonce”
“Shut it down!”
“Nope, not gonna happen.”
“You don’t know what you’re doing!”
“And you do?” Banner asked. “She’s not in your head?” He motioned to Wanda as he spoke.
“I know you’re angry- “Wanda began.
“Oh, we’re way past that. I could choke the life out of you and never change a shade.”
“Banner, after everything that’s happened- “
“Is nothing compared to what’s coming!” Tony shouted.
“You don’t know what’s in there!”
“This isn’t a game!”
Pietro glanced at Jo and she knew exactly what he was thinking. She slightly smirked and nodded. Pietro sped around the room, turning things off and pulling giant plugs out of the cradle.
“No, no, go on. You were saying?” He asked. A gun went off and a bullet shattered the glass floor beneath his feet.
“Pietro!” Wanda exclaimed.
Clint placed his foot on Pietro’s stomach, stopping him from getting up. “What? You didn’t see that coming?”
A computer started to beep.
“I’m rerouting the upload!” Tony exclaimed. Steve threw his shield at the computer and Tony fired using the hand from his suit as the back attached itself to him. Steve attacked. Wanda moved to stop it but Banner wrapped his arms around her from behind.
“Go ahead, piss me off” He taunted. Jo grabbed Banner and pulled him off Wanda, shoving him aside.
Before they could do anything, else Thor came into the room and jumped onto the cradle. He raised his hammer and lightning appeared. He shot it down into the cradle. Once he stopped, the cradle exploded and Thor went flying. A man came out of the white smoke. His skin was a mixture of metal and red. He slowly rose to a standing position. He set his eyes on Thor and dove towards him. Thor threw the man through the glass window and into the living room. They all quickly followed, to find the strange man floating in midair. Staring at his reflection in the window. Grey cloths appeared on his skin as the man floated down towards them.
“I’m sorry. That was, odd” He spoke, now standing on the ground. “Thank you” He added nodding towards Thor. A golden cape appeared on his back.
“Thor, you helped create this?” Cap asked.
“I’ve had a vision. A whirlpool that sucks in all hope and life and its center is that” Thor pointed towards the yellow stone on the man’s forehead.
“What? The gem?”
“It’s the mind stone. It’s one of the six infinity stones. The greatest power in the universe, unparalleled in its destructive capabilities.”
“Then why would you bring it- “
“Because Stark is right.”
“Oh, it’s definitely the end times,” Banner remarked.
“The Avengers cannot defeat Ultron.”
“Not alone.” The man added.
“Why does your vision sound like Jarvis?”
“We reconfigured Jarvis’s matrix to create something new.”
“I think I’ve had my fill of new” Steve grumbled.
“You think I’m a child of Ultron” The man spoke as he and Tony circled each other.
“You’re not?”
“I’m not Ultron. I am not Jarvis, I am…I am.”
“I looked in your head and saw annihilation” Wanda spoke up, stepping towards the man.
“Look again”
“Yeah, her seal of approval means jack to mean” Clint sneered.
“Their powers, the horrors in our head, Ultron himself, they all came from the mind stone. And they’re nothing compared to what it can unleash. But with it on our side- “
“Is it?” Jo interrupted. “Are you? On our side?” She asked the man.
“I don’t think it’s that simple”
“Well, it better get real simple real soon” Jo demanded.
“I am on the side of life. Ultron isn’t. He will end it all and- “
“What’s he waiting for?” Tony asked.
“You.”
“Where?”
“Sokovia. He’s got Nat there too” Clint answered.
Banner stepped forward with a dark look in his eyes. “If we’re wrong about you, if you’re the monster Ultron created you to be…”
“What will you do?” But Banner didn’t answer him. “I don’t want to kill Ultron. He’s unique and he’s in pain. But that pain will roll over the Earth. So, he must be destroyed. Every form he’s built. Every trace of his presence on the net. We have to act now. And not one of us can do it without the others. Maybe I am a monster, I don’t think I’d know if I were one. I’m not what you are and not what you intended. So, there may be no way to make you trust me. But we need to go.”
The room fell silent and Thor looked a bit awkward at the sight of this man holding out Thor’s hammer. He took it, and the man walked away. No one knew what to say.
“Right. Well done” Thor patted Tony on the shoulder before walking off.
“Three minutes,” Steve ordered. “Get what you need.”
Jo changed into fresh clothes and strapped on clean weapons. She made sure she had extra bullets and her favorite knives. She was about to meet up with the group when Pietro hesitantly entered the room.
“I came to- “
“All is forgiven” She quickly said. Pietro relaxed. He held out his arms and Jo rushed into them. He held her tightly before Jo pulled back and kissed him. She never realized how much she had ached for him till now.
“I have missed you every day” He whispered. He moved his lips to her cheek and then her jaw, before leaving a trail of kisses down her neck. “When this is over you and I are going far away. I’m going to take you on a real date.”
“Where?” Jo whispered. She tugged on Pietro’s locks, bring his lips back to hers.
“Anywhere you want to go my luchik (Russian for little ray of light)” He answered before kissing her again. Jo pressed herself closer to him, taking in every moment of this and burning it into her mind. Never wanting to forget this feeling. She felt safe and loved in his arms. Forget saving the world, if he asked her to run away there was a part of her that might have said yes.
“I love you,”
“And I you.” He answered. “We will make it through this, I promise.”
Jo didn’t answer because she knew that was a promise that couldn’t be kept. She kissed him all over his face. Pietro chuckled as Jo kissed him on the nose.
“Hey, love birds!” The two jumped apart and Wanda chuckled. “You are lucky it was I who caught you and not the Captain.”
Jo rolled her eyes and walked over to Wanda. The two embraced.
“I’m glad the three of us are together again” Jo smiled as she spoke. Wanda nodded in agreement.
“Come on, we better go before your father sends a search party,” Wanda stated.
“Do you think he likes me?”
“No!” Both Jo and Wanda laughed as they walked out of the room with their arms linked.
“The news is loving you guys, though no one else is” Hill explained. “There’s been no official call for Banner’s arrest, but it’s in the air.”
“The Stark relief foundation?”
“Already on the scene, on how’s the team?”
“Everyone’s… We took a hit. We’ll shake it off” Tony answered.
“Well, for now, I’d stay in stealth mode and stay away from here”
“So, run and hide?”
“Until we can find Ultron, I don’t have a lot else to offer.”
“Neither do we” Tony ended the call and walked over to Clint, who was flying the jet. “Hey, you wanna switch out?”
“No, I’m good. If you wanna get some kip, now’s a good time because we’re still a few hours out.”
“A few hours from where?”
“A safe house.”
Jo sat far away from everyone. Though considering what they had been through no one was exactly in the talking mood. Her head was pounding and she felt slightly dizzy. Jo tried to put the new puzzle pieces in their place but considering it felt like she was doing a million-piece puzzle, it was a painful process. You’d think regaining your memory would be like the movies, one minute nothing and the next you remember everything and you’re fine. When in reality it feels like your brain had been on overload for three hours and the end is nowhere in sight.
“Hey, wake up”
“Huh?” Jo’s eyes snapped open, realizing she had fallen asleep. Jo noticed they had landed in some field. “Where are we?”
“Don’t know, Barton say’s it’s a safe house” Steve explained as he helped her up. “You okay?”
“Are any of us?” Jo muttered. She had yet to tell Steve her memories were back. Because that involves explaining how they had returned.
They all followed Barton through the field and up to the front steps. “Honey? I’m home” Barton called out as they entered the home. They walked into a living room, filled with books, toys, and stuffed animals. A pregnant woman came around the corner, a child’s painting in hand.
“Hi, company. Sorry, I didn’t call ahead” Barton apologized as he kissed the mystery woman. He put his arm around her and turned to the team. “Gentlemen, this is Laura.”
“I know all of your names” Laura smiled at them all.
“Ooh, incoming” Barton smiled at the sound of running steps.
“Dad!” A little girl exclaimed.
“Hi, sweetheart!” Clint took the girl into her arms and held her close. “Hey, buddy!” He threw his other arm around the teenage boy and kissed the top of his head.
“Did you bring Auntie Nat?”
“Why don’t you hug her and find out?” The little girl squealed with delight and ran into Nat’s arms.
“Sorry for barging in on you” Steve apologized.
“Yeah, we would have called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed.”
“Yeah well, Fury helped me set this up when I joined” Barton explained. “Kept it off Shield’s files and I’d like to keep it that way. I figured it’s a good place to lay low.”
Everyone began to talk amongst themselves. Thor walked out of the house and Steve followed. Jo heard Thor say something about a dream and watched as he swung his hammer and shot into the sky. She saw Steve pause for a moment before walking out into the front yard.
Jo sat up on the roof, watching Tony chop wood and Steve pull pieces apart with his hands. Jo laid down and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of the sun on her skin. Made her think of the days she was allowed out of her cell. The cold snowy air may have been killer, but Jo had had someone there to keep her warm. Jo couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this way. Sure, she had her fair share of flings, one-night stands, and short-term relationships. But Jo believed this might be the first time she was in love. Jo missed him more than she had missed anyone. She had finally felt comfortable leaning on someone. That she was not alone.
Jo flinched and swatted away the piece of wood that had hit her face. She sat up and saw Steve looking up at her with his hands on his hips and a look on his face that told Jo he was annoyed about something.
“What?” Jo grunted as she jumped down to the ground. She noticed Tony was no longer there chopping wood.
“What’s up with you?”
“You all just got shown our darkest secrets and worst fears by a witch and you’re asking me what’s up?” Jo looked at him surprised.
“What did she show you?”
Jo sighed and pushed her hair out of her face. “I don’t…”
“Whatever happened, it changed you. And Barton said you ran out of the ship while Tony went for Banner and Clint was helping Nat, did you run into the Maximoff’s?”
“Yes,” Jo whispered. Steve stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders.
“Jo, whatever happened, you can tell me. Did you remember something? Did you- “
“I remembered everything” Jo breathed. Steve’s hands dropped to his sides.
“What?”
“Wanda, the Maximoff girl, she used her powers to give me back my memories”
“Why?”
“Because… We’re friends” Jo confirmed. Steve shook his head in shock.
“You… You’re friends with- “
“We were all held by Strucker remember? I wasn’t in cryofreeze the whole time you know. Our cells were close and we sometimes were allowed outside at the same time.”
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”
“You were dealing with whatever Wanda had shown you! In no state for me to be telling you my own problems.”
“There you go again!” Steve ranted, throwing his hands up in the air. “You always do this! You always keep it all to yourself, never letting anyone help you!”
“I’m sorry” Jo whispered. “I’m trying to be better, honest. I just, my brain is a mess!”
Steve sighed and pulled Jo into a hug. She remained still at first, before embracing it. “You’re my kid, I’m going to- “
“Help me no matter what. I gained memories, I didn’t lose more” Jo joked making Steve laugh.
“Where is she?” Jo spun around and smiled.
“Aren’t you supposed to be dead?”
“There’s no need to sound more disappointed each time you say that” Fury grunted as he approached them, with Tony in tow. “Have they fixed your memory?”
“I’m good as new”
“Rogers, Stark, inside. I want a word with Carter alone. I’m assuming I can use your last name now?”
“She’s my daughter, her last name is Rogers.”
“It’s Carter, and could you give us a minute?” Jo asked, but was really telling the two to piss off. Tony and Steve rolled their eyes before doing what they were told. “Now, what do you want?”
“Man, you really are back to your old self. Shame, Wilson said you were actually a bit nicer without your memory”
“And I’ll smack him upside the head for it” Jo muttered.
“You doing alright kid?”
“Did you make them leave so you could ask if I was okay?”
“I’m not as heartless as I look” Fury responded. “But I also want to know what you’ve got on those enhanced people.”
“You know their past, you know their abilities and why they joined the program. What more do you need to know?”
“Are you prepared to take them down if it comes to it?”
“I haven’t let you down so far” Jo dictated. “Why doubt me now?”
“Because, although I’m sure your father has no clue, I am aware you were quite close to the Maximoffs.”
“I’ve killed comrades before who picked the wrong side, I can do it again.”
“That’s the thing, I don’t want you to have to”
Jo looked confused. “What are you on about?”
“You’ve been an agent most of your life and spent the other half being tortured by Hydra or running from them. When this is over, I want you to take a break. Get that apartment in Brooklyn with Rogers, or maybe with the Maximoff boy if he comes to his senses.”
“Last I checked you aren’t my boss anymore”
“Doesn’t change that I care about you” Fury responded, leaning against the porch railing.
Jo nodded in understanding. “I don’t know what I’ll do when this is over, I’m not even sure if I’ll survive this. But I’m a soldier, always have been. Was raised by one, my father is the most famous soldier, and I’ll die like one.”
“And you’re just as dramatic as your father as well.”
Summary: A Steve x Reader one-shot based on the song Heathens by Twenty-one pilots
Requested by: Anonymous
Warnings: Fighting and swearing
You bite your lip as you continued to struggle against your chain. Your wrist ached from holding it at a weird angle, but you continued to work. You let out a small sigh of relief when you hear a click and your restraints loosen. You looked the door, no lock or handle on your side. You shook off your chains and rushed over to the security camera, you shoved the bobby pin into the lens and crushed the res with your bare hands. You heard some shouts from outside and quickly hid behind the door, waiting.
All my friends are heathens, take it slow Wait for them to ask you who you know Please don’t make any sudden moves You don’t know the half of the abuse
You ran as fast as you could, your bare feet pounding against the cold grown. You burst through a door and into a stairwell. You checked the number of bullets the gun had that you had taken off a guard. You heard shouts from behind the door and headed down, taking three stairs at a time. The entrance they had brought you threw was on the bottom floor. Where they kept all their vehicles from.
Welcome to the room of people Who have rooms of people that they loved one day Docked away Just because we check the guns at the door Doesn’t mean our brains will change from hand grenades
You reach ground level and creak open the door. There was only a hand full of guards, most were probably searching for you in other parts of the compound.
“Down there!” You hear someone shout from above.
“Shit” You muttered, you rush out into the open air. You race towards a jeep, doing your best to dodge the oncoming bullets. You take cover behind a car and fire at the agents in sight. You jump into the driver’s seat and take the covering off the wires below the steering wheel. “Come on…. Come on!” You grunted. They were getting closer, a bullet shattered the windshield. “Ha!” You exclaimed in victory as the engine roared to life. You slammed on the gas pedal and speed off.
“Close the gate! Close the gate!” A guard shouted. Sparks flew as the sides of the jeep scrapped against the metal gate. You shouted in victory as you drove off. But it wasn’t over yet.
You stumbled through the snowy woods. The jeep was now miles behind you. You had ditched it, just in case there was a GPS tracker implanted in it. You had made a fake trail going in the opposite direction before circling back around and heading West, towards civilization. You knew your plan had worked according to the feed you were hearing on the radio you had taken. From what you had gathered during your time as a prisoner, you had been there for at least two weeks. The drive there from the airport was three hours long if you subtracted the time spent at the gas station you had stopped at, you had been traveling at roughly fifty miles per hour which put the airport at one hundred and fifty miles away. The gas station was twenty-five miles away from the compound, you had driven for fifteen. They hadn’t tortured you in three days. You were grateful for the time your wounds had been given to heal. You could walk the ten. This you could do.
You’re loving on the psychopath sitting next to you You’re loving on the murderer sitting next to you You’ll think, “How’d I get here, sitting next to you?” But after all I’ve said, please don’t forget
You wrapped your arms around yourself trying to conserve heat. You could barely feel your feet, and the thin t-shirt and pants were doing you no good. The cut on your side had reopened and you couldn’t remember the last time you had been this sore. The sun was setting in front of you, and you had no way of knowing how many miles you had left.
“I can do this, I can do this” You whispered. “I can get away from him.”
All my friends are heathens, take it slow Wait for them to ask you who you know Please don’t make any sudden moves You don’t know the half of the abuse
It was night, you curled up in the cave you had found, holding your gun close to your chest. You couldn’t risk building a fire in case they saw the smoke. The radio had no signal, you had tried to mess with the wiring and channels to see if you could pick up a channel form Shield, but had found nothing. Your only comfort that night was at least if you died, it would be out here away from him.
We don’t deal with outsiders very well They say newcomers have a certain smell You have trust issues, not to mention They say they can smell your intentions
You awoke at sunrise, surprised to still be alive. You stood, ignoring the sharp pains in your feet. You did some jumping jacks and stretches, trying to get your blood flowing. You found snow that looked clean and held it in your hands waiting for it to melt before consuming it. You did this two more times before you started walking again. You shudder at the sudden memory the snow brought to mind.
“No, you have to melt it first!”
“Why? Snow’s just frozen water”
“Exactly! Eating snow can actually lead to further dehydration due to the process your body has to go through to heat and melt the snow once you eat it. It can also lead to hypothermia.”
“You’re such a nerd!” You laughed. He rolled his eyes.
“Well, you’d figure I’d know a thing or two about snow.”
You’re loving on the freakshow sitting next to you You’ll have some weird people sitting next to you You’ll think “How did I get here, sitting next to you?” But after all I’ve said, please don’t forget
You could see it, just a few more feet. You let out a laugh, which sounded more like wheezing as the gas station came into view. You observed your surroundings, there was only one car in the parking lot which probably belonged to the owner. It was still early morning and this obviously not a busy highway. Deciding it was safe, you stumbled out of the trees and across the road. You made it to the outside restroom and slipped inside, grateful you did not have to face anyone yet. Your appearance didn’t surprise you. You were honestly shocked you didn’t look worse. You grabbed some paper towels and got them a bit wet before gently washing the blood off your stomach. You then proceeded to wash your face, hands, and arms as best you could. You moaned as the hot water rushed over your skin, grateful to finally feel some warmth.
All my friends are heathens, take it slow Wait for them to ask you who you know Please don’t make any sudden moves You don’t know the half of the abuse
You finally stepped out of the bathroom and headed inside the convenient store. A little bell rang as you opened the door. There was no one behind the counter, and you didn’t hear anything except the humming of machines. You wanted to head straight for the prepackaged sandwiches in the cooler, but your instincts told you something was wrong. You slowly took out your gun and turned off the safety. A small click broke the silence. You instantly held up your gun as a man jumped up from behind the counter, holding up a rifle.
“Y/N, you need to- “
“I’m not going back with you” You growled. Of course, he would have come to the gas station! He knew you better than anyone else. You should have known better than to think this would have been a safe place to come to.
“Y/N please!”
“I have no reason to trust you”
“I love you, you know that!”
“Lies!” You screamed. “I used to think that was the truth.”
“It still is! It wasn’t all lies”
“You’re Hydra Steve! Everything out of your mouth is a lie!” You ignored the pained expression on Steve’s face. You could not let your emotions cloud your judgment. You were nothing more than assignment to him.
“Y/N, if you don’t come back willingly, I have orders to kill you.”
“Then why haven’t you shot me yet? Come on! Be good little soldier like you always have” You taunted. “You had no problem killing those Shield agents, so why can’t you shoot me?”
Steve flinched at your words. “I didn’t want to do that, but they gave me no choice!”
“More lies!” You screamed. “Here, I’ll make it easier for you” You turned the safety back and tossed your gun aside. “I’m not gonna come willingly”
“Y/N…”
“Shoot me”
“I’m not going to- “
“KILL ME!” You roared. “You’ve already destroyed every part of me, so just shoot me.” Something in you had finally snapped. You didn’t want to live this life. Not anymore. Not with the future, you had dreamed of destroyed. There would be no apartment in Brooklyn to go home to. No more morning runs, movie nights, and late-night kisses. No leaving Shield together, no getting married, no kids.
“I was going to do it you know, I was going to leave, for you.”
“But you never did,” You whispered. “I won’t join you and you know no matter how much they torture me I won’t break. So, if you ever really loved me, then end this.”
Why’d you come? You knew you should have stayed I tried to warn you just to stay away And now they’re outside ready to bust It looks like you might be one of us
You could see the conflict in Steve’s eyes as he debated his options. You watched his expression become resolved, as he made his decision.
“And how do you suppose we do that?” Wanda demanded as she spun around. Pietro took a step back. “She is with the Avengers. Protected by the best security known to man. The best idea is to wait for them to come to us, they’re bound to find us at some time.”
“But- “
“Pietro, no one understands better than I what she means to you, but right now, there is nothing we can do.”
“I hope she’s okay,” Pietro muttered shaking his head.
“She is, they wouldn’t hurt her, I promise. Now come on, let’s find out who wants to meet us” Wanda motioned to the abandoned church before them.
Jo looked up from her computer when Barton and Steve walked in.
“What’s that?”
“A message. Ultron killed Strucker” Thor passed the iPad to Tony as Steve spoke.
“And he did a Banksy at the crime scene, just for us.”
“This is a smoke screen, why send a message when you’ve just made a speech?” Jo asked.
“Strucker knew something that Ultron wanted us to miss”
“Yeah, I bet he…” Natasha fell silent as her computer beeped. “Yep, everything we have on Strucker has been erased.”
“Not everything” Everyone looked at Jo in confusion as she walked out of the room.
Thor tossed aside the lid to a box filled with files.
“Baron Strucker had a lot of friends” Steve muttered as he looked through his box.
“Well, these people are all horrible”
“Wait, I know that guy” Tony pointed towards the file Bruce had who handed it over. “From back in the day. He operates off the African coast. Black market arms.”
Steve gave Tony a suspicious look who rolled his eyes.
“There are conventions, alright? You meet people. I didn’t sell him anything.” Tony looked over the papers again. “He was talking about something new. A game-changer. It was all very, Ahab.”
“This?”
“Uh, that’s a tattoo, I don’t think he had it.”
“No, those are tattoos, this is a brand” Thor pointed to the pictures as he explained.
Bruce used one of his computer programs to search for the meaning of the symbol. There was a ding a few minutes later. “Oh yeah, it’s a word in African dialect meaning “thief”, in a much less friendly way.”
“What dialect?”
“Wakanda.”
“If this guy got out of Wakanda with some of their trade goods…”
“I thought your father said he got the last of it” Jo stated, she and Tony were looking at each other while everyone else looked confused.
“I don’t follow. What comes out of Wakanda?”
“The strongest metal on Earth” Steve answered looking at his shield. “Where is this guy now?”
Men shouted orders and others groaned from the aches of labor. The sound of metal grinding and machines hard at work filled the air.
“Don’t tell me your men swindled you. I sent you six short-range heat seekers and got a boat full of rusty parts. Now, you will make it right, or the next missile I send you will come much faster” Klaw pressed a button on his phone, ending the call and. “Now, minister, where were we?”
Everything came to a stop and lights flickered off. Klaw could hear his men shouting in fear below him. Flashlights spun around the room as the workers tried to calm everyone down and figure out what happened. Klaw grabbed his gun off the desk, eerily looking at his surroundings. He slowly stepped towards the doorway and fired his gun. There was a flash of silver and suddenly his gun was back on his desk, with all nine bullets set in a neat row.
“Yeah, the enhanced” Klaw chuckled at the site before him. A young man with curly blond hair and his twin sister stared at Klaw. “Strucker’s prize pupils. Candy? Hmm?” Klaw asked, now sitting on a stool and holding out a rusty metal plate, but the twins said nothing. “I was sorry to hear about Strucker, but then he knew what kind of world he was helping to create. Human life. Not a growth market.”
The twins glanced at each other, a look of surprise passed between them.
“You didn’t know? Is this your first time intimidating someone? I’m afraid, I’m not that afraid.”
“Everybody’s afraid of something” Wanda spoke for the first time, stepping into the room.
“Cuttlefish” Klaw stated, pointing his finger at nothing. “Deep sea fish. They make lights, disco lights…” He made weird chomping noise with his mouth and moved his hand to imitate the fish. “To hypnotize their prey, and then…” His hand shot out and snatched at the air. “I saw a documentary once, it was terrifying.”
Pietro zoomed over and grabbed one of the candies, tossing it into his mouth.
“So, if you’re going to fiddle with my brain and make me see a giant cuttlefish, then I know you don’t do business and I know you’re not in charge. And I only deal, with the man in charge” Klaw stood up as he spoke. He failed to notice the flying robot behind him.
Klaw cried out in pain as he was thrown through the glass. He struggled to sit up as the robot loomed over him.
“There is no man in charge,” Ultron leaned down, now quite close to Klaw. “Let’s talk business.”
One of Klaw’s men slid open the cargo hold. The ceiling of it lowered, revealing an upper level that contained many vials. Klaw grabbed one of them.
“Upon this rock, I shall build my church,” Ultron remarked as took the vial. “Vibranium.” Ultron tossed it to Pietro.
“You know, it came at a great personal cost” Klaw ran his fingers across the scarred tissue on his neck as he spoke. “It’s worth billions.”
Ultron chuckled, “Now so are you. It’s all under, your dummy holdings? Finance is so weird.”
There was a vibration and Klaw’s man checked his phone, showing his boss the screen to confirm that what the robot spoke was true.
“But I always say, keep your friend’s rich and your enemy’s rich and wait to find out which is which.”
“Stark”
“What?”
“Tony Stark used to say that” Klaw clarified. “To me. You’re one of his.”
“What? I’m not…” Ultron grabbed Klaw’s arm, Klaw’s man drew his gun but Wanda used his magic to stop him from moving anymore.
“I am not. You think I’m one of Stark’s puppets? His hollow men? I mean, look at me. Do I look like Ironman? Stark is nothing!” Ultron swung his other arm, chopping Klaw’s arm clean off at the elbow. Klaw stumbled back in shock. “I’m sorry! I’m… oh! I’m sure that’s gonna be okay. I’m sorry. It’s just, I don’t understand. Don’t compare me to Stark!” Ultron kicked Klaw in the face, who tumbled down the stairs. “It’s a thing with me, Stark is… he’s a sickness!”
“Ah Junior,” Ironman landed behind Ultron with Thor and Cap behind him. “You’re gonna break your old man’s heart.”
“If I have to,” Ultron remarked stepping forward, Pietro and Wanda moving with him.
Natasha, Clint, and Jo took positions on the upper level. Jo twirled the knife between her fingers, an action that felt so familiar to her yet she couldn’t remember learning to do it.
“Nobody has to break anything”
“Clearly you’ve never made an omelet.”
“He beat me by one second” Tony added glancing at Thor.
“Ah, yes. This is funny” Pietro spoke as he stepped out from behind the robot. “This is what? Comfortable? Like old times?” He looked at the missiles as he finished.
The site of the blond-haired man struck something in Jo, she knew him! This she was sure of, but where did they meet? And who was he to her?
“This was never my life.”
“You two could still walk away from this” Steve stepped up.
“Oh, we will”
“I know you’ve suffered.”
Ultron howled with laughter. “Captain America, God’s righteous man. Pretending you could live without a war. I can’t physically throw up in my mouth, but if I could – “
“If you believe in peace, then let us keep it” Thor cut off Ultron.
“I think you’re confusing peace with quiet.”
“Uh-huh, what’s the vibranium for?” Tony asked.
“I’m glad you asked that because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan.” Instead of doing that, Ultron and two other robots attacked. Ultron and Tony flew up and continued in their combat. Steve and Thor fought the robots, Jo was about to jump down and help when gunfire and shouts came from the stairway. She turned to see Klaw’s men advancing on her.
“Just do what your instincts tell you” Jo whispered Natasha’s words to her and did exactly that. She ran up a wall and jumped in between the two men. Jo ducked down as one of them swung and hit the other in the gut. He bent over and Jo hit the other man in the jaw before he could attack. She shot both before moving on.
Jo took down five more guards and had never felt better. She felt so much like herself! A sense of belonging had overcome her that Jo couldn’t remember feeling since she was a little girl in Uncle Howard’s lab.
Jo put a bullet in another man’s head, his blood splattered across her hands. Yet, she felt no remorse or disgust. The hairs on her neck stood up and Jo whipped around with her gun up, the Maximoff girl jumped back in surprise.
“J-Jo?”
“How do you know me?” Jo growled. She had orders to not kill the twins, harm maybe, but not kill.
“You don’t remember… oh, of course, you don’t!” The girl exclaimed. “Here, let me- “
“Don’t touch me!” Jo ordered. She glanced to her right and left but Natasha was nowhere in sight.
“I won’t hurt you, Jo, I promised you that. I only want to help and I’m going to do just that” Red energy shot from the girl’s hands and Jo’s vision blurred.
Jo stumbled back, grabbing onto the metal railing for support. She felt like she was in the ocean, and wave after wave kept dragging her under.
Hydra…
Her mother…
Being in hiding…
Working for Shield…
The battle of New York…
Her father…
The helicarriers…
Being captured….
“Wanda?” Jo croaked looking up, but Wanda was gone.
“To anyone who’s still standing, we better move” Clint spoke through the coms. “Guys?” he spoke again when no one responded.
“I think the Maximoff girl did something to the others” Jo answered. She looked down to see her father stumbling around on the lower deck. Jo made her way out of the ship, maybe they were still here! She rushed out onto the damp ground and over to some wrecked, small ships. And she saw them.
“Wait” Jo yelled, the man spun around and his eyes widened at the sight of her.
“Jo!”
“Do you remember now?” Wanda asked excitedly.
Jo nodded, and before another second had passed Pietro had rushed over and embraced her.
“Your safe” He whispered against her neck.
“I’m safe” They leaned their foreheads against each other. The reality of the situation came to mind and Jo painfully pulled herself away from Pietro.
“You guys have to come back with us”
“What?”
“Look, I don’t know what Ultron wants, but it’s not peace!”
“He is helping us! We have a common goal in mind” Wanda stated, crossing her arms.
“I thought we discussed this whole crazy revenge plan”
“You wouldn’t understand”
“Oh? Please, Pietro, tell me how I wouldn’t understand the feeling of losing everything!” Jo screamed. Pietro looked away from her, realizing he had been wrong.
“Join us”
“You know I won’t”
“Then we should go, come on Pietro.”
“But we- “
“We need to finish the job!” Wanda insisted. Pietro looked at his sister and Jo. She could tell he didn’t want to leave her, but she also knew he would.
“I’ll come back for you” He promised. Pietro scooped Wanda up into his arms and then he was gone. Apart of Jo went with him.
From intel retrieved at the leader’s residence, a small team immediately dispatches to a warehouse within ten kilometers where explosives are suspected. Steve and Bucky sweep the facility first since they could also escape the fastest were anything triggered. They split up. Bucky takes the large spaces while Steve clears a short labyrinth of offices and storage closets.
Bucky gives the all-clear to the team outside. Steve confirms “no explosives” over the channel before catching his friend’s eye and waving for him to follow. Steve doesn’t say a word until the door is shut to the windowless room. He even takes out his comms.
From Bucky’s wide eyes, Steve was right to bring him in immediately.
Bucky removes his earpiece, too, then flips the volume up on his walkie and orders, “I want the warehouse handled but then await further instruction. No other rooms. Got it?”
“Acknowledged, Sarge.”
Steve holds up several papers from a makeshift desk littered with files. His skin crawls in panic. “Tell me this isn’t what I think it is, Buck.”
Among the papers are photos, dozens of photos of just one person: you, including a picture of you out celebrating your promotion months ago, one of your friend Gracie’s birthday party from just last week, and one of a particularly disturbing nature inside a dressing room. He can’t tell when that’s from; he doesn’t recognize the clothes or the walls. The papers detail all kinds of things, thorough tracking your movements and records of your preferences of everything from food and drink to skincare and feminine hygiene products. Steve’s gut knots itself entirely when he comes across a file containing medical records and an accurate calendar of your menstrual cycle. He’s gonna be sick.
Bucky doesn’t have to say anything. The intent is obvious enough.
“Looks like kidnapping,” Buck mutters anyway. “You don’t do this level of recon just to poison or kill. My guess is leverage over you.”
The papers are like heavy knives in his hands. His tact suit feels excruciatingly tight, and Steve’s brain is on fire with rage.
“Down to her fucking period,” he blurts, low and violent. Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up at the language but an air of holding his tongue has Steve more nervous. “What?”
“A pregnant woman would be even more valuab—“
Steve punches the table so hard the plastic buckles, toppling to one side, stacks of surveillance intel sliding to the floor. His jaw locks. The thing is that there is nothing for his rage to stand on because Steve doesn’t understand how this could be happening.
“But we caught them all, right?”
His voice is tight, Steve admits, weaker than he hoped. There’s no confidence in it. There’s less than none when Bucky speaks.
“Today was one of the leaders, yeah…” His friend rubs the back of his neck.
Steve’s hands sink deep into his hair as he weighs options. “How many more?”
Bucky slides his walkie back up to his mouth, eyes fixed on Steve’s barely contained meltdown. “Torres, come in.”
After a beat, “yeah, Sarge?”
“I’m gonna need a crate brought to the back hall here. Just leave it there and we’ll pack it up.”
“You got it. Looks like we’ll be finished here in twenty.”
“Okay. Crate now, and we’ll be ready by the time you guys are done.”
A minute later, a hollow thump from beyond the door signals the drop-off.
With an armful of files, Bucky turns back to Steve. “I’ll handle the box myself. No one will see these,” he assures, opening the door and dragging the solid-sided, black bin inside. He drops in his armful, and just as he straightens, he sighs, “but we need to think of something, pal. This investment? The time they’ve spent? They won’t let her go.”
Steve worried Buck would say that, but then he never answered the question.
“How many?” Steve throws the force of a punch behind each word, and by the unblinking look on his friend’s face, Steve is already unprepared.
“Compiled list is thirty-five members—” Bucky puts his finger up before Steve tries to ask “—and that’s the ones not crossed off yet.”
Steve takes his rage and frustration out on the files until Bucky stops him from destroying evidence. Steve uses every ounce of his training, focus, and serum-laced enhancement to not show any agitation outside of the room.
On the return flight to HQ, he settles into a stoic—but very edgy—version of his normal self. His mind races at the speed of light. One of his first decisions is to not tell you because he doesn’t actually know anything yet. With so many enemy operatives still unaccounted for, he has to proceed under the assumption that some of that mountain of intel was fed through sources inside the Initiative. To allow Bucky time and distraction to haul the crate to his own quarters, Steve oversees unloading and takes point at the debrief.
He only becomes more paranoid when he gets back home. As you speak about your day, you mention at least two names he doesn’t recognize, so he pries, harder than he ever would before. You tease him about being jealous and swear that Tom the Barista only has eyes for Jake Hudson from your lab. Tom even came as Jake’s date to Gracie’s birthday party. You tell Steve he’s met him.
Steve shifts leaning forward on the couch while you casually lounge in his rocking chair. “Who? Thomas?”
“Yes,Steven,” you sass, twirling a finger through the chain of your necklace, a gift from your lab group given for your promotion (that dozens of nefarious scumbags have a picture from), “that’s generally what ‘Toms’ also go by.”
Steve considers how long that means you’ve been watched. He considers it for too long.
“Are you feeling okay? You’re very twitchy.”
“Tired.” Steve isn’t lying about that, and since he knows he’s a crappy liar, Steve has to be more careful.
“Go have a shower, love.” You kiss his forehead, running your fingers lazily through his hair. It makes his skin crawl again, painfully exhilarating and terrifying all at once. “I can bring dinner back here if you want.”
His grunt and sigh suffice as an answer.
Steve never was a stealth operative (well, not for anything longer than sneaking into a building), so he only stops obsessively over every product you kept in the bathroom—on the counter, in the drawers, and in the cabinet—when you peek in to ask if he wants sweet or savory sauce for his egg rolls.
Your curious look turns into a smirk. “What? Not liking the way I smell now?”
“Uh…” He blanks.
You pluck the jar of cream out of his hands and replace it with a tube of balm.
“Better for your dry elbows,” you hum with a smile and pat the meat of his bicep. “I’ll put out all the sauces. Just take your time, Sketch.” You shut the door behind you.
Steve knows he will throw up if he forces himself to eat his normal amount of food, and since he’s a super soldier and doesn’t get stomach bugs or food poisoning (or lose his appetite for any other reason), he is forced to do something he has never, ever done before. Steve fakes getting a call from a team member and leaves the apartment for a while. He walks the whole tree line around the complex in the dark and then returns to say not to worry, they had food upstairs. He gets away with this because there is food up in the lounge right by the main conference room; he just doesn’t fill in the part where he didn’t go anywhere near it.
The only thing that settles his stomach is to be near you, as near as humanly possible, so that night when you two make love, Steve holds onto you a lot tighter, his face never more than an inch away from yours. He pushes your hips against him and grips the back of your neck. You respond to his intensity with extra affection, which leads to a second-round where Steve was nothing shy of overbearing and possessive. He knows you sense a change, but you didn’t ask. You never ask for details after missions, and he usually likes that you help keep those things separate. You always wait for him to be ready to talk. He will never be ready to admit what kind of danger you were in.
So he spirals for hours. Each time he closes his eyes, he sees the photos. He sees you going about your everyday life not knowing you’re being watched. He sees you, twirling and biting at your necklace, deep in thought. He wishes he never scolded you for that nervous habit. He wishes he’d been nicer about the bear on it (even though he’s right and it is actually the same as the California state flag), but you love it anyway. He can’t take any of it back now. All he does is stare at the metal chain laying against your softly rising chest, pendant settled just between your breasts, and he feels helpless.
The next day, when he gets a chance to speak with Bucky far away from HQ on their run, it only gets worse.
The reason someone would want to kidnap you is to control him. It doesn’t take the brain power of anyone over the age of five to notice Steve will do anything for his wife, and the biggest problem boils down to the time it takes to tick off all the names on that list. Of the listedthirty-nine, four are already captured or killed as of yesterday’s mission. However, the Team only started acting on intel for this group a week and a half ago. They currently have leads on seven more, but the info ranges from “we know he lives right here” to “I heard someone talk about seeing him in this other country a year ago.” Tracking, verification, and takedown of thirty-five targets could take…well, it’s impossible to estimate.
Keeping you in hiding is an option, but you’d be out of work for who knows how long (and pissed about it). Bucky is fairly certain Steve would not be able to join you in hiding either, so you’d be alone and pissed and he’d still be afraid. You could have a heavy security detail, but that’s no good because some of that research came from HQ; at the very least there’s a data leak, but there could also be an operative working amongst them. Even if Steve up and quits, retiring from the Avengers, he’s still capable of being wielded as a physical or political weapon, and just because he isn’t fighting on the Team, doesn’t mean he can’t influence the Avengers (and several world governments) anyway. There is no clean path forward. All options require coordination and too many resources.
Eventually, it’s Bucky’s suggestion that offers the quickest and most efficient solution. If Steve dies, no one has use of you as leverage. Steve now wants to throw up. He doesn’t like the idea of being stuck away from you indefinitely, but he soothes himself by comparing this to any other mission. In fact, he wills himself to calm down since this mission is entirely for your safety, but he can’t fully accept it. He just keeps feeling sick.
A vague semblance of a plan is discussed. Bucky has a safe house from his time on the run (left unfound because of how useless the location is for fieldwork), but it is remote—can’t find it on a map even when it’s marked with an x remote—and in a wilderness surrounded by tundra. No electricity, no running water, no satellite signal. Nothing.
A new leader will take over the terrorist cell. That could take some time, but not much, and Steve and Bucky can’t coordinate an elaborate rouse on their own. With each person they’d bring into the fold, or each prepared part of the deception, they risk whoever is feeding information from inside knowing Steve is still alive. Worse yet, their plan to take you might be moved up if the group knows that he suspects. Steve and Bucky agree to tell absolutely no one. They have to go by opportunity with knee-jerk reactions as their guide.
Steve spends half of each night watching you sleep, memorizing your body, stroking your hair and hip. He reminds himself not to behave differently. He can’t savor your touch more or convince you not to spend a day with your sibling at port that week. He catches you watching him sadly a few times. You sense something still, but he convinces himself over and over that it’s for the best. Nothing helps him sleep.
Ten days later, Bucky, Natasha, and Steve are all sent to dismantle an Inhuman fight club that acts as a rendezvous for two names on the list, theoretically. Steve never gets to see their faces. One of the Inhumans can explode and then reintegrate, so there’s basically a bomb moving around the place that can go off as many times as it wants. It only takes one shared look between Steve and Bucky to know: this is it.
Steve tosses the shield at the man as he’s triggering, drops his comms where he stands, then sneaks back to the jet, hiding, while part of the building collapses. After the Inhuman and his associates are captured, Bucky behaves like he’s looking for Steve in the rubble. Nat finds the shield, scorched so badly the color’s gone off, and her distraught announcement to send a cleanup crew, one that should expect human and superhuman remains, sounds genuine because it is. Nat thinks Bucky is being quiet and brooding because he’s in the field and she wouldn’t expect him to slip into an emotional scene no matter how epic the Brooklyn boys’ bond. Steve hides for almost two and a half hours until Bucky and Nat finally return to the jet. Once in the air, Steve hears muffled voices, then yelling, and then Buck calls his name. If Steve didn’t know Nat so well, he’d swear she barely blinks as he steps out of his expansive cargo locker onboard, but she’s upset.
All Steve has to say, though, is that you’re being targeted, and Nat springs into action, finding any supplies that can be overlooked as missing or a regular inventory discrepancy. A certain number of rations. Some first aid supplies. Ammunition. Two of Bucky’s (many) knives and one of her own guns. Steve notices Bucky smiling at his gal fondly several times and feels a stab in his own gut for how much he already misses you. Bucky packed his own go-bag with several helpful additions (including clothes and an extra duffel to carry it all in) and wrote down extremely thorough directions to the cabin, directions which Steve is to destroy as soon as he gets there.
Natasha raids every locker and storage area onboard for liquor (which covers up the evidence of removed supplies) and splashes some vodka on her chest after a few swigs. She insists Steve and Bucky drain every bottle, too. Finally, she explains that any extra time the jet is in the air and doesn’t return to HQ will be chalked up to her and Bucky wallowing in their own unique way. Steve adores Nat’s genius at that moment, but he half-wishes for Thor’s refilling container of Asgardian ale—the only thing he and Bucky can really get drunk on—because Steve already hates what’s about to happen.
They fly the jet in stealth mode as low and as close as possible without wavering from a reasonable flight plan. It’s the one time Natasha doesn’t mind Steve jumping out of her jet; she’s a pragmatist and knows it’s necessary. It still takes Steve about twenty-seven hours to find the damn cabin, a needle among needles in a needle factory, but that’s why Bucky’s the best.
And then all Steve can do is wait.
(Next part coming this Friday!) Don’t hurt me, dearies /o\
Summary: Steve once revealed a bit of a fetish to you. Tonight, you test it out.
Warnings:uh…you and Steve being cheeky weirdosandsmutty smut (graphic but loving), lightly edited because I is tired. (Minors DNI)
It’s not the perfect day or time for this, but if there’s one thing you’ve learned being with Steve Rogers it’s that it’s never the perfect time for anything. You two would never have had a real conversation. You’d never have made it to a first date. You’d never have gotten engaged. Perfect isn’t what you two are, but you do love each other, you are devoted to each other, and that is enough.
This story of soft!Steve experiencing his fantasy come to life is fucking AMAZING! Do yourself a favor and read all chapters of the series she’s written of the (painfully!) slow-burn of their relationship up to this point. I can’t recommend it enough!
Hilariously, I keep thinking to myself “I could have made that slower,” but I’m pretty sure I’d have been hunted down and punched in the face. ><
What’s started out as a single one-shot now reminds me of that moment in the theater where–
–flashed before my eyes, and my idea for 5k became 100k (and counting, woof).
Summary: You are helped through Steve Rogers’ funeral.
Warnings: it sucks because it’s a funeral (?) and some language (Minors DNI)
The phone rings in your hotel room. Loudly. Louder than a fucking bomb going off, and you want to scream. It didn’t wake you. You’ve been staring at the wall, tucked under the covers for who knows how long.
Exasperated, you roll over to pick up the receiver, but say nothing.
“Hey,” Tony’s voice clips from the other end, “don’t hang up.”
After a long sigh, you wait, still saying nothing.
“Ok,” he sighs, too, “thank you. I just have a few things to say, and I’ll leave you alone.”
You sit up and place your feet on the rough carpet. Fancy hotels remind you of Steve. You made it all the way into a room at one place before freaking out, leaving, and finding close to, but not quite, the cheapest option you could find. You never thought you’d miss your mediocre apartment off of the HQ campus.
Tony finally accepts that you won’t be speaking to him. He’s used to having one-sided conversations. He’ll get over it.
“Romanoff will be over there in the morning with everything you need. Starts at 11. I’m hosting the reception after. It’s not here—” back on campus, you presume, since he clearly knows which room you are in within a building he doesn’t own and wouldn’t be caught dead in “—and if you wanted to speak, the priest is ready for that.”
Steve’s funeral. Tony Stark is talking to you about your husband’s fucking funeral. The fucking nightmare hasn’t fucking ended, and you can’t tell anyone how hollow you feel for not believing. You’re grieving but you’re not. It isn’t real. This cannot be real.
If the funeral is tomorrow then…you have been in this room for four days.
“Ok, so I don’t trust the menu of the room service there, and I’m ordering you some delivery. All I ask is that you open the door.”
He pauses, taking a few breaths to see if you’ll crack. “Fine, they’ll leave it at the door, but I think you should know that I can see if you bring it in. If you love and respect me, which is obviously extremely difficult to do—“ he fumbles and maybe puts his hand over whatever he’s speaking into “—Pep, I’m trying. Can you just—ok, yes—FINE. I am not threatening you to eat, but…”
His voice goes soft, paper-thin and wispy with a faint tinge of wetness. “Please eat. Cap will come back to haunt me if you don’t. Just please be ok.”
Your blood boils instantly. “Okay?! OKAY,Tony?!”
“Shit,” he yelps just before you slam the phone back down.
Tony just can’t help but poke the bear. He just is not capable of shutting the hell up. He’ll make decisions for you all day long. He’ll run circles around you and tell you you’re both exercising. He just can’t stop.
The loud ring explodes in the silence again. You could hang up on him a second time, since the first was remarkably satisfying in a way that only slapping Bucky has been recently, but you let it ring. You let the noise go and go until your eardrums ache like your heart.
Then it stops, and no one calls back.
* * *
Natasha arrives early. Really early. She seems to have guessed what state you’d be in when she arrived (and she didn’t need you to open the door, just walked right in before slipping some device down the side of her shoe). She drops a bag of uneaten food that was outside your door all night into the trash and places some boxes on the little desk in the corner.
This is the second time Nat has brought you a black dress. This is the second time you will wear said black dress in a hotel at some point. That is where the similarities end.
She coaxes you into the shower, talks you through the steps of shampooing, conditioning, washing your body, washing your face, drying off, and putting lotion on. She’s babying you from the other side of the bathroom door, but it’s also to keep you on pace. You’d be lost in memories of him and lose another four days if she didn’t.
She hands you panties and a bra, neither of which are yours, but they are clean and fit. You shouldn’t be surprised that a super spy would be able to find out your size, but you are.
Nat helps you into the dress, not because it’s tricky to put on, but because it’s the form of help she can offer. She zips you up, tugs at pieces here and there to get the garment seated just so, and then pulls out your necklace from beneath the neckline, smoothing the little, circular pendant with a bear down the bodice. Her smile is noticeably less convincing than Nat is capable of, but that seems…deliberate.
She moves a chair for you to sit. She dries your hair carefully before pinning it back. The style is classic and clean but reminds you of old-fashioned glamour. It reminds you of photos of Peggy Carter, though the comparison is a stretch, and you have to look away from the mirror.
Finally, Nat reallysmiles and opens the only remaining box.
She’s brought you donuts. She’s knows you love sweets. It’s maybe one of the very first things Steve ever knew about you, and they are fancy, covered in thick icing in cool designs. They smell warm even after all this primping.
It’s the strangest thing. The outrageous comfort this indulgence brings to you while it also breaks you into a million pieces. You’ve said a total of ten words to her this whole time, and then you eat donuts quietly with the Black Widow while tears stream down your face. Together, you kill a half-dozen easily, and Nat politely offers to have more brought up if you want.
You shake your head. She goes to refill your water and returns with two white pills in the other hand. You shake your head again. You hate taking pills. Steve would know not to offer them.
After finishing the water, Nat asks you to brush your teeth before she puts a touch of makeup on you. At least you don’t look like death warmed over when she’s finished. The best part, the part that will keep you separated from all this horror by the tiniest fraction, is the veil. It’s gossamer and reaches to your collarbone. It lays over and hides some of your perfectly styled hair, but you don’t care. It’s your shield today. Nat knows. You can tell that Nat understands what that means to you by just one shared look through the mirror.
Your mood makes it feel like torrential rain dampens the world around you, but it’s actually a partly cloudy day. It’s beautiful out. Steve would want to take a hike, to go sketch something pretty. Instead, you’re sitting in a folding chair with one leg sinking into soft grass, wobbling like Steve when he proposed.
The priest is just talking. You don’t care whether the words are comforting or dignified or even fucking English.
Natasha is seated beside you while your parents flank the other. She has not left your side since the hotel. Your mother puts her hand on your knee and squeezed who knows how many times while you compare every tiny detail to something about your life with Steve.
He comforted you at a funeral once, the same way, with a warm hand on your knee.
The wind flutters the veil, making the fabric stick to your wet cheek.
Bucky stands in military dress behind you. It’s not lost on you that the last time he wore such a uniform was you and Steve’s wedding, but he hands you a handkerchief from over your shoulder then sets his hand on you to steady the wobbling chair. Your staring at the photos they’ve printed and framed, propped on stands next to the prominently displayed shield. Steve would have appreciated that one of the photos is of him smiling. You think maybe Bucky or Tony had something to do with that. The other is a stalwart propaganda image of Cap with the cowl covering most of his head and face. That isn’t your husband; that man belonged to the nation, the world, the universe even. He was not yours. Somehow you feel a deep bitterness that the two images are side by side.
It’s the gun salute that jostles you back. You’re handed a flag that’s folded as neatly as Steve folded fitted bed sheets. The precision is pointless and stings to remember because you’ll never know how he did that now. Your hands are clasped so tightly in your lap that several fingers are numb, but you know they will shake if you try to relax them.
Bucky steps around from behind your chair to drop some dirt onto the lowered casket. You’re not even sure he’s in there since you refused to know anything about this whole charade. Because that’s what it feels like: a bad farse.
Time is lost on you.
Tony’s voice behind you asks the other mourners to leave without trying to speak to you. Bucky offers to take the flag from your lap, and you push it towards him without looking away from the hole in the ground. Nat doesn’t move from the chair beside you.
Just as the priest steps forward to say some more words of condolence you don’t care about, you’re up on your feet, heading straight for Cap’s shield mounted on a stand beside Cap’s photo, not Steve’s. Because they were different. Because Steve and Captain America may have been the same person, but only Steve Rogers could die. Cap cannot. The whole nation still has their symbol while you lose the only part of this whole damn thing that mattered to you.
One violently shaking hand reaches out to touch the cool, smooth metal. It’s so…thin. The whole façade is hollow, a vibranium illusion of strength and endurance. What good was the illusion? Who fucking cares about a symbol?
You move too quick to tell if the shaking continues. In one fluid motion, you grab one leg of the stand and topple the whole thing.
There’s a ruckus of shock behind you, where perhaps several people scramble to secure the shield that slides across the smooth blades of grass down a short slope, and why that small annoyance to others brings you a flicker of joy, you don’t know. It’s a drop of water in the magma of your anger.
So you walk away because that’s what you do when you’re upset. You walk. You can’t walk as fast as you would without these modest black heels Natasha stuck you in, but at least you’re moving. That’s what they all want, right? You’re supposed to move forward, to move on. Just the thought makes you furious. Your skin crawls with resistance to ever, ever forgetting because you will never forgive yourself if you do.
He’s gone. Steve’s gone. You can still hear the words as clearly as if Bucky repeated them now. The same kicking fury that pushed you to slap the bearer of bad news seizes your lungs and pulls.
For the first time, you scream, a crack of thunder so tortured that life halts around you. The birds stop. The bugs quiet. The mourners not yet gone freeze. Every single one. The second scream is wetter, hoarse, and full of devotion to your misery. The pain ripping through your throat starts the tears, but they don’t end with the physical pain.
Steve comforted you once at a funeral. You’d cried anyway. It’s only fair you fail to control yourself now. It’s only fair that if the world took the man you love that the world sees what it’s done. They don’t get composed. They don’t get serene. They don’t get poised. The world deserves the same turbulent destruction wracking your existence right now, but unlike your husband, you are not strong enough to force that on even one other soul.
When you open your eyes, Natasha and Bucky are there again, and your hands are already knotted tightly to their proffered arms. Nat soothingly repeats your name between simple statements.
“You don’t have to get up.”
“Take as long as you need.”
“We’re right here.”
There’s another uncontrollable surge that grips your lungs. The scream is broken up by shot-gun blast sobs and deep, choking breaths. There’s only one thought that comes to mind when Nat speaks to you.
“I can’t leave him,” you manage in a quiet, rough voice. “I can’t leave him.”
Your grip becomes hard and punishing, enough to make Natasha wince. Bucky’s metal forearm barely registers the pressure. He hands the folded flag over to Nat and slips the fingers of his now free hand between yours to release Nat.
“Never,” Bucky whispers.
He looks too flat. You want him to be wrecked. You want to see that you’re not alone in this pain, but the well-trained soldier remains inscrutable.
Some of them, these superheroes and experts within the Avengers, have the power to crack worlds and raise cities. They can force their will onto others. They can make people see what they want. You can’t do any of that. All you can do is lash out with your pain, and by god, you will wield your only weapon with a sharp a blade.
“You did this,” you spit in Bucky’s face. “This is your fault.”
His face turns stony, brow locked in a guilty v-shape, and that bastard nods at you. Bucky Barnes nods like it fixes something. He nods like acknowledging his failure after-the-fact helps you at all.
Your anger flairs, hurling fiery tentacles around like a kracken in your sea of sorrow, and your hands release him.
“Get away from me,” you hiss, steadying yourself to stand alone, because you are. You are alone. “I never want to see your face again.”
He’s just Barnes now, and as you turn, she’s just Romanoff. Your tie to the Avengers has been severed. You’re just as you were years ago, an employee on the fringes of their world, and it’s time to get back to work.
Summary: You’re a writer, too, but Steve has never pushed for you to share. It’s nerve-wracking as all hell, but you’re gonna show him. You’ve *got* to show him what you’ve been working on now. It’s time.
(This is gonna be split between two posts because I wasn’t expecting a few very small ideas to weave together into 5k+, but this half is basically all lovey fluff before a tooouch of smooooot in the next.)
Your hands are so clammy they stick to the pages still warm from the printer. The manuscript is sloppily bound; you didn’t feel this warranted a fancy seal. It could all go in the bin at any moment. If Steve for one tiny second doesn’t seem to approve, it’s game over. You’ll delete the whole file and burn all the copies…although currently, this is the only hard copy on the planet.
Gosh, you need to find a better phrase since you are now set to marry into an intergalactic band of heroes.
Only hard copy in existence. There. That’s more accurate.
You’ve chosen the day you and Steve officially move in together, into a new, bigger apartment on AvIn campus, to hopefully take some of the pressure off of this moment, this…present. Steve’s so over-the-moon about your new space—since you now have an extra bedroom that is the agreed ‘studio’ space for you both—plus a second bathroom and its own laundry. He’s gone off on several little shpeels about hating that someone else washes all of his clothes. Dry-cleaning and the tact suits, he understands, but his boxers? Steve doesn’t like handing that task off. It’s always made him uncomfortable. It makes him feel high and mighty. It makes him feel like Tony, though he’ll never be caught dead admitting that. So your fiance self-corrects to the point of hauling his own army duffel down to the laundry and chats up some staff while he uses a machine for himself wheneverhe possibly can. Once or twice he even brought his laundry over to your apartment, your old apartment now, to hang out with you during the cycles. It took a lot of effort to convince the man you’re gonna marry that he should maybelet you wash both of your things together when he isn’t around to do it himself.
Logic was a mighty weapon that day, but from Steve’s face, hell likely froze over in the process. He’s a stubborn git when he wants to be, and you love it. He loves you because you won’t let him be a stubborn git for too long. He gets to throw his ‘back in my day’ tantrum. He’s heard…and then you immediately offer him the logical option which was your choice in the first place. Everyone’s happy. When it doesn’t really matter, you let Steve win. Compromise is the name of the game.
You even compromised on what you consider is not pulling your weight when it comes to moving. Steve insisted he carry all the boxes himself, two by two, across the entire compound. His logic: it will be about the equivalent of his dozens of mile runs or the hours-long training he does regularly. It’s not as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be. He kissed your forehead as a warning. This was just one of those things he wasn’t going to budge on. You weren’t ever going to win this argument.
And so you took the time to print out this and hope for the best. Two hundred and seventy-eight pages weigh a fuckton, say nothing of the weight of their meaning. Your palms are sweating full-stop now.
Since your desk had to be driven from your off-campus apartment to the compound, it was one of the first things moved in. You set the beast of pulp down with a thud, leaving it to rest and cool off—or maybe just you need to rest and cool down—because Steve’s not back from his latest pickup from downstairs. Shame, but oh well, you’ll do it later.
The manuscript fits in the second drawer. You even put it face down, so it looks just like a stack of paper, not even Steve’s good drawing paper. He has no reason to look or to want it. It’s only going to be until you next see him, which might be seconds away. That thought makes your stomach swirl harshly.
Now to grab some lunch. He’ll be so proud you remembered to feed yourself without his prodding, especially because you aren’t sitting at work with a whole group of people who walk out to do just that every day. Compromise and growth. It’s a beautiful thing.
* * *
“D’ya’know, one of the perks of billionaire life is paying someone to do this for you,” Tony drawls with a click of his tongue slapped on the end for good measure. He doesn’t help, of course; he just leans against the door frame.
“Yeah, well, I’m not a billionaire, Tony.” Steve lifts the third-to-last box of books and papers (plus one surprise), the heaviest by far because you efficiently stuffed it full, a Tetris of bricks. Good thing he’s a super-soldier, or you would’ve had to unpack it and carry the same contents in four smaller bins.
“You and the misses are so cheap,” Stark chides.
Steve doesn’t even correct him. Tony has offered so many bad ideas for the wedding that Steve needs a single day without giving him ammunition. “We aren’t cheap. We’re thrifty. It’s a good quality to have. Maybe you could even try it sometime.”
“Ew—“ Tony wrinkles his nose as if he too saw what the empty fridge looked like this morning “—why.”
Steve snorts and pushes past the loving idiot in his way.
“When’s the housewarming party?” Tony calls after him.
If Steve could roll his eyes hard enough to shake the ground beneath Stark’s feet, he would, but alas, that kind of power eludes him. You two are only moving to a different floor, one with larger (and thus fewer) residentially suites. Instead of Steve’s original and perfectly adequate one-bedroom apartment, you’ll have three rooms and two and a half baths. You and Steve agree that it’s a bit excessive, even though you’ve been giddily chatting on how to use all the space several nights in a row, legs tangled together in bed as Steve called dibs on the smallest room to use as a studio.
You’d crossed your arms in a huff of fake irritation, shoving your naked breasts together in a ploy to distract him (in the dark because you know he can see that and it will get you what you want). “Fine, but then the other is an office or work storage. And that includes—“ you emphasized your point with a finger to his chest “—your suit, shield, and weapons. I don’t want them in the closet anymore.”
“Hmm,” Steve acted perplexed, using his Cap voice for a minute, “what if I say ‘no?’”
You cocked an eyebrow and shimmied your feet behind his calves. “That’s the hill you wanna die on?”
“No.“ He leaned forward and pushed your arm out of the way, hand sliding over your ribcage so his thumb could caress the soft swell of you. It’s his favorite. “But you’re very cute when you’re annoyed.”
“Oh, welcome, Captain Critical to my bedroom,” you teased.
“Our bedroom.” Steve’s arm wrapped around your back to pull you closer. He’d kissed you with a smile on his lips because he knows it makes you giggle. “Must be true love if I move the suits for ya, huh?”
Steve fondly recalls all of this while he waits for the elevator. These books are actually heavy enough that he doesn’t take the stairs.
You had then playfully smacked his arm.
“No, Sketch. Separate bathrooms is true love.”
He just smiled wider, hugged you a little closer, and ticked his nose up to nuzzle at your neck.
“That’s the saying, huh? Separate bathrooms make the heart grow fonder?”
He would have laughed if he weren’t thoroughly distracted by the pulse of your heartbeat against his lips. Suddenly, you didn’t have any more quips for him either.
The elevator dings, and there you are, smiling brightly as you see it’s him.
“I’m gonna get us some food. You’ve earned it, big buy,” you say with a wink, but Steve hears a nervous edge to it. Maybe you’re still concerned with how heavy the boxes are or how many trips back and forth he’s been taking, but since he’s almost finished before lunchtime, he doesn’t see the big deal.
So all he replies with is “sounds good.”
It does sound good. It sounds perfect because you’ll be out for a bit and he’s got that surprise to hang in the new place. Since he knows he can grab it now, he hurriedly drops off the heavy box and races to the stairs. He saved the surprise for last, but two boxes ahead of schedule will do just fine.
Only one other thing, he wants to write a little note, but everything is packed away. There might be paper floating around in your desk still. He’ll take a look when he gets back up.
* * *
It takes way longer than it should to drive out and pick up Indian. There’s traffic, a line, a substitution they needed to make when something suddenly ran out, but it’s fine. You are nowhere near as put out as the staff rushing around the packed restaurant (and you got a refill on mango lassi, so you can’t complain).
You ask Friday to swing open the door since your hands are full. It still smells like new apartment when you step in, and you passingly wonder if your first meal will christen the whole place with a homey aroma. If that’s the case, your mouth is going to water every time you come home, an impulse Steve will wildly approve of since it’s just another reminder he won’t have to give.
Steve isn’t visible from the entrance or the kitchen. You put the food on the counter and check to see if anything will need heating a little more before digging in, and then you see it.
A long rectangle wrapped in brown paper sits across the coffee table. It’s not a shape you recognize as one of the paintings you packed from downstairs, but it sits with the taped side up. Maybe Tony dropped it off? He loves to collect art. Well, Pepper loves to collect art, and Tony loves to ownart.
Your finger slices beneath a corner fold. Steve’s not really one for surprises—another reason you’re so worried about your little project—so he won’t mind if he’s not here for an unveiling of a gift. Where is he anyway? Only one of the huge book boxes is there sitting by the door, so he might still be—
Oh my god.
It’s…it’s…
It’s you. The whole thing is you, or you two rather. Nearly two feet tall and one foot wide, it’s a close-up of your favorite photo of you and Steve.
But this isn’t a photo. Steve has drawn you in painstaking detail, with vivid colors, and soft edges. His arms are wrapped around you from behind as he curls forward to kiss your cheek. Your head is lifted with a huge, toothy smile, open and laughing. Natasha took the original. You and Steve don’t really remember to take photos much, and there was one time, just one time, you joked that “it’s no big deal, he can sketch us anyway” in front of everyone. You’ve never seen him draw you, but you don’t ask because he wants things private until he shares them, like everything about you two and your relationship so far.
Butoh my god. You loved the original photo. You didn’t care that you didn’t have makeup on or that you wore one of his oversized sweaters. You didn’t care that your flesh rolled just a smidge between his tight arms across your middle. You didn’t care that your hair looked a bit lost because it was pulled back and out of frame. That was the photo.
This. This is you and Steve absolutely perfect. The tone of your hair is noticeably portrayed in a style you love, your skin is flawless, and he’s changed the sweater he wears to your favorite color. He hasn’t made it hyper-realistic. He didn’t simply copy over what he saw in the photograph. He interpreted what you adored about it with a few added bonuses. You look amazing. You look joyous. Most importantly, he’s captured how in love he looks by your side, enveloping you, feeding your body his heat on that brisk cold day.
You can feel that heat in your cheeks now.
“Steve,” you call out, unable to take your eyes off the art. His art. It’s already framed and everything. It’s like he knew you would want it up right here in the living room. “Steve!”
It’s odd he’d take so long to come back up—shit.
On your way to the door, you see him. He’s leaning on your desk because there’s no chair. You’ve ordered a new one, and it hasn’t arrived yet. In his hands, Steve is flipping through a document about three hundred pages thick. Your brain can’t even make up any option but the worst.
He found it. He found it with no explanation, no lead-in, no excuse.
“Sweetheart,” you huff in a rush to get over and take it back before too much damage is done. It’s not as perfect as his drawing of you; you know now that it’s not ready. Your sinuses seize and threaten to flood your vision while you beg to have it back, but Steve just holds out a long arm and easily keeps you at bay while he continues to read…
…about himself, about his life.
You’re not even sure what gibberish comes out of your mouth before he finally lifts a crystal clear gaze to you.
“What is this?”
“It’s nothing. It’s stupid. Please just put it down. I promise I’ll get rid of it if you—“
“Keeps,what is this?”
“Um, it’s,” and then you mumble a bit. His stern look tells you to try again. “It’s a…biography. Kinda. I wrote down every story you’ve ever told me. And then I…put in commentary about why it’s all important. How it all—“ a shaky breath ravages your tense system “—made you the man you are today.”
“Honey,” Steve starts with an inscrutable tone. You’re not sure what’s coming but your mind is on fire. “When did you start this?”
You giggle nervously, afraid to admit the truth, but he’ll know. Steve Rogers will know if you lie to him.
“The day…” you say quietly, “the same day you…when I sat on your couch for the first time. The day my hand was injured, again, well, the second time. I wrote down little descriptions of how you looked sketching, real you, not Captain you. I didn’t know what I’d do with it, but I knew even then that most people don’t get to see that. It just…snowballed from there.”
From where his finger sits in the stack, Steve’s already forty to fifty pages in. How long has he been in here? Jeez! He looks down at the manuscript and then back out toward the hall. He runs a broad hand over his face.
“So like a year,” he questions.
You nod and bite your lip.
“Dang, I—“ The sharp, slapping thud of paper on your desk startles you until you’re pulled into a huge hug. “I only spent three weeks on the picture.”
“Heh,” you cry-laugh. Your shoulders kick up to your ears even under the weight of Steve’s arms. “I’m an over-achiever.”
Now it’s his turn to laugh, but he’s more focused on tucking his arms beneath yours to lift you up. Your hands slide across his shoulders and bury your fingers in his hair. Steve hums between chuckles. You can feel his smile through your shirt at your collarbone.
His words are muffled in the fabric. “What’s it called?”
You quickly sweep away a few recklessly shedding tears and gasp in relief. “Ah, well, the working title—the one I’m leaning toward—is The Son of Joseph and Sarah.”
Steve stops laughing. He grips you tighter for a long moment.
It’s bright daylight. You both are fully clothed in a nearly furniture-less room. You aren’t even eye-to-eye, but neither of you has ever been so exposed to the other. From early on, Steve said he struggled to find the lines to capture you. You replied by saying you wanted the words to describe him. You’re both here now, at the finish line of your separate lives, at the start of your lives together, and you’ve done it: you’ve learned one another enough to show what you’ve seen. It’s beautiful. It’s flawed. It’s a long, long time in the making. It involves so many people and experiences you weren’t around for, but you understand.
You let Steve hold you as long as he wants, and after what feels like an eternity (which isn’t enough), he untucks his face and sniffs the air.
“Oh, wow, that smells good. I’m starving.”
You’d completely forgotten again. Good thing he’s around to remind you.
I can’t handle how sweet Steve would be in a relationship, guys. Like this literally haunts me at night–his cuteness, his support. Just dying, but really happy about it? Ugh, ok, happy Thursday everyone! Dignity get’s updated tomorrow…
