Hey guys if you’d like to be added to the respected taglists just let me know and you’ll be added. Also much love to all 3k of you for your love & support as well as your patience <3
FOR@ghostofreggie WHO HAS DONE NOTHING BUT SUPPORT AND FEED INTO MY PHASE OF BUCK. YOU ARE AMAZING AND I COULDN’T IMAGINE WRITING THIS WITHOUT YOU.
Missions far from home were never easy for any of you. But for Bucky they became harder and harder the more he felt for you. You had walked into his world at the right place, and at the time he needed someone the most. When he met you, all he saw was beautiful and all you saw in yourself was the nerd of an assistant for Tony Stark. He knew he could never hurt you, and in doing so he never told you what he was feeling.
The moment you laid eyes on Bucky; your world shifted. He was the only one who caught your undivided attention, whether you were focused on something in the lab or not. He could walk in the room and your whole world would be black except this light that surrounded him. That being said, you guys were far from being anything official. It was just a few one-night stands, and in-depth conversations here and there.
A new mission had come to a head, which included Sam, Sharon, and Bucky attempting to override some of Hydra’s files to unearth any new leads into where or what Hydra wanted. You on the other hand were stuck in the office, attempting to help Tony upgrade his Ironman suit with some new perks, I guess being his assistant is a perk in itself though. But your mind was everywhere but focused on Tony and what he needed. Buck was leaving on this mission tonight, and you had every intention of telling him how you felt before then but didn’t know how.
The doors opened to the lab, the eerie silence was filled with a familiar voice, “Hey we are getting ready to take off….”
The voice was hesitant, but you knew it belonged to Bucky. He was the only one who made your heart skip a beat or cause the eruption of butterflies in your stomach.
You took a deep breath before turning to him, a fake smile plastered on your cheeks, “Oh okay- be careful?”
He shot you his signature smirk before making his way over to your desk, you couldn’t help yourself from chewing on the inside of your cheek- one of your worse nervous ticks.
“I’ll be careful…. I’m always careful.” he said as he stood in front of you, hands stuffed deep into his pockets. You couldn’t help but give him a real smile as you stepped towards him, engulfing him in your arms. His beard tickled your cheeks as you hid you face in the crook of his neck, taking in his cologne that made you feel at home.
His grip loosened before he stepped back, placing a swift, soft kiss to your forehead. The gesture only causing a blush to erupt on your cheeks, and a soft smile to remain more than present.
He smiled down at your short stature before turning away from you, your smile slowly turned to a frown… you hated to see him walking away from you, like you were nothing to him.
But the question was…. Do you tell him how you feel? Or do you just let it go, and hope to god that the feelings stop growing…
“Buck?” You said, your eyes widening at your shaky voice. The concerned look he gave you was making your insides turn at what words were about to escape past your lips.
“Yes?” He questioned, as you didn’t say anything more. The words you wanted to say found themselves stuck in your throat, unable to tell this handsome man what you were truly feeling.
You took a deep breath, opening your mouth to spill your undying love for James Buchanan Barnes, when she came in…
There was Sharon, in all her glory. The most beautiful girl in the room, the one who always got any man she wanted, and the one who had all her sights set on Bucky.
“I’m sorry but we have to go” She said, a hint of annoyance in her voice as she watched you push up your oversized glasses, as your twirled you rings around your finger unconsciously. You were nothing to her, and the look on her face only confirmed that.
Bucky looked back at you, the nervousness was apparent on your face, “Go…” you murmured, not being able to spare him another look. You knew that you would never be enough for him, so why even try to fool yourself?
A smirk appeared on Sharon’s face as she turned hot on her heel, Bucky following behind but not before sparing you another look. He will never forget the look of heartbreak that crossed your features when Sharon came in to get him, to take him away from you.
The minute the door to the lab closed, the eerie silence overtook you once again. You turned towards your desk; a deep breath escaped you as your started throwing your work off your desk. Paper flying through the air, pens hitting the floor in a clatter. The noise was so overwhelming that you missed the sliding door opening again, the anger in the room could be cut with a knife.
“Sooooo are you going to clean up your mess?” Tony said from behind you, terror crossed your features as you turned to face him.
“I-I-I-iiii” You tried to find the words, to apologize, to try and make what you had just done better. But Tony cut you off, sending you a soft smile.
“I’m assuming… that uh you didn’t tell Bucky how you are feeling?” He said, taking a seat at the desk next to yours, trying to read your reaction to what he was saying.
“Me and Buck? No-no- “You started, only causing a bout of laughter to fall from Tony’s lips. Your eyes wide as you watched him fall apart in front of you, his laughter cutting through the anger you were radiating.
“Oh don’t even. We both know how you feel, and I know that he feels the same about you” He said, reaching out to grab your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. His gesture bringing tears to your tired eyes, it was the first time that you felt that someone understood how you were feeling.
“How I’m feeling is alone. This man is doing things to me that I have never felt, and never thought I would get to feel. I was always the nerd in school, with no friends or anyone to love me. And now- now I have this man who I love, a man I have given my everything to, but I can’t even tell him the words. I can’t even tell him how much I want to spend the rest of my life dealing with his bipolar ass.” The words finally flowing out of you, finally confessing to someone how I felt about Bucky.
You wiped your cheeks, the tears continuing to dampen them. Tony just reached out, taking you into his arms. He knew how you were feeling, you knew that you wanted nothing more than to be loved and not worry about the future.
You couldn’t help the sob that escaped you as you clung to your boss, tears continuing to flow.
“How about you go home? I can text you when they get back…. I think you just need some time to think, you know?” Tony said, placing a soft kiss to the back of your head.
“Thanks Tony… and I’m sorry for the mess….” You said, pulling away from him and shooting him a soft smile.
Carefully you grabbed your things, heading out to your room. The sound of your shoes clicking on the floor, echoing in the silent hallway. The silence only following you once you step into your dark room.
A deep sigh escaped you as you laid back on your bed, your head swarming with scenarios about Buck and if you had told him how you were feeling. To explain the deep love, you felt for him.
Sitting back up, you began to strip yourself of your work clothes. The heavy denim of your jeans hit the floor with a thud, and your thin black tee fell right beside it. Ruffling through your drawers you came across a shirt that belonged to Bucky.
It was from a night, not long ago when he came over late at night for some comforting after a mission. A smile appeared across your cheeks as you shrugged the shirt over your tired body, it barely covered your black panties.
A tired smile appeared on your face once again as you made your way to your empty bed. The coldness of your sheets feeling good against your achy, tired body. Sleep quickly overtook your sense, and your dreams were filled with the what ifs of your life if Bucky was yours.
*BANG, BANG, BANG*
You were drawn from your vivid sleep by several hard knocks at your door. Quickly you rushed over, opening the door swiftly.
There was Bucky…
His lip was split open, a bruise was developing on his cheek but overall, he seemed none too harmed. The light from the hallway showing off his bruised and tattered body.
“I-uh-uh I… I just needed to see you.” he finally choked out, you stepped aside leaving room for him to slip by you in the darkness of your room.
“Okay?” You said, tiredness still clouding your senses.
“I-uh this…. This mission was just really hard, and I know you wanted to tell me something before I left and it was all that I could focus on” he said, you knew that he was embarrassed by what he was saying. He never felt like this before and it was clear by his stuttering.
The Winter Solider was standing in your room, at god only knows what time because he couldn’t stop thinking about something you wanted to tell him.
You ran your hand through your hair, eyeing his figure in the darkness. You stepped towards his, brushing his tattered hair out of his face, making his deep eyes more noticeable.
“You really want to know?” You said, the flirtatious tone flowing out of your mouth, you could see him take a deep breath before nodding at you.
“Well, I was going to tell you that-uh I’m uh in love with you” You stuttered, blush crawling up onto your cheeks. You were nervous about what he was going to say, you knew he never felt that way about anyone.
“You don’t have to say anything” You said quickly, seeing his face change as he processed your words.
You loved him.
Opening your mouth again, wanting to speak more about how you were feeling. The idea that you had ruined your chances with him forever, that he was going to walk away, and you would never see him again.
But your thoughts were hushed when he rushed forward swiftly taking your lips in his. You couldn’t help the shocked moan that fell past your lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling at his tangled hair.
He growled as you pulled hard at his hair, carefully he slipped his hands under your thighs before picking you up. Pulling your body close to his, your nipples only hardening against your shirt.
You pulled your lips away from his, carefully pressing small kisses to his neck causing a guttural moan to escape from his throat.
You felt your back fall onto your cold sheets, a moan falling from your lips as Bucky found your sweet spot on your neck that was ever so hidden. You could feel a bruise forming under your jaw from his excessive suckling.
Moans continued to fall from your lips as you reached down to pull at his shirt, pulling the torn material over his head, revealing more bruising and blood dried cuts. Your cold fingers ran across his chest as he watched you carefully.
You caught his eyes, smiling up at him. He was concentrating on your face, the way your face lit up when you saw him.
His thumbs brushed up against your hips, slowly lifting his shirt off your body. The cold air rushing to your hard nipples, sending a chill through your body, which only made Buck chuckle under his breath.
Your shirt went over your head, and almost immediately Bucky took your hard nipple in his mouth, sending a chorus of moans to fall from your lips.
“Buck” you moaned, gently taking his hair in your hand, and pulling slightly.
Rubbing your cunt against his crotch, only causing you to leak more wetness than you already were. Your motions caused a guttural moan to escape from Buck.
He pulled back from your nipples, taking in the moaning mess that you had become under him. He wrapped his fingers around your panties, before ripping them clean off your body.
You gasped at his action, before quickly sitting up and beginning to mess with his pants. You fumbled with the button and zipper before stripping off his pants. His cock was straining against the confines of his boxers, with a stain of precum beginning to appear.
Biting your lip, you lowered his boxers down his legs and letting them pool at him feet.
You took his length in your small hands, but he stopped you. His eyes met yours before he started to speak.
“This is all about you doll.” He spoke in a low tone before pushing you back onto the bed.
You felt his cock at your entrance, brushing against your clit which only sent chills of pleasure through your body.
The feeling of your being stretched as he entered you with his length sent a loud moan to escape from you. Causing your eyes to roll back as you grabbed onto him, bringing him closer.
He waited for a moment, giving you a moment to adjust to him.
You nodded at him, giving him the silent signal to move.
The pleasure began to overtake your senses, causing your eyes to roll back into your head. You could hear the wet sounds of your pussy as he pushed his cock deep inside of you, stretching your walls more and more.
Guttural moans feel past Bucky’s lips, which only sent your over the edge. Your orgasm quickly fell over you as he continued to hit your sensitive spot.
“Oh-uh-ooohhh Buck” You moaned, as your back arched from the overwhelming orgasm.
He threw his head back as your cunt pulsated around his cock, he was on the edge and he knew it.
His speed began to quicken as your cunt still was pulsating from your mind-blowing orgasm, your eyes continued to roll back into your head from the pleasure that was overtaking you.
Your cunt was leaking up a storm as he continued to fuck you hard, before he wrapped a hand around your throat. The action only making your eyes go wide, he never did that.
“Buck” You whimpered to him, as his grip tightened on your throat.
“You’re gonna take it all doll.” He moaned, his metal hand coming into contact with your clit. He quickly began rubbing circles, which drove you into a moaning mess as your cunt began to tighten around him again.
“Buck…. Buck…. I’m gonna-” You began before getting cut off by a moan.
“I’m right behind you” he moaned in your ear as you pulsated around him, scratching at his back with the overwhelming amount of pleasure.
He rutted his hips against yours as he spilled his hot seed into you, causing a small moan to pass your lips as your felt the heat in your core.
“In case you didn’t know- I love you too” He murmured against your ear, causing a huge smile to appear across your features.
In that moment, you knew… Bucky Barnes was yours and only yours….. He was your home.
A/N:Masterlist + My inbox busting at the seams and I’m writing this that nobody asked for. BUT IM COMIN I SWEAR IM TRYIN IM TRYIN IM TRYIN
Summary: Steve handles big boy things on a call while handling you. Who says married couples don’t make time for each other?
“Hello?”
His palm held your hip tightly to keep you against him, caressing your swell of you ass, admiring the soft skin of his woman. With his thick thumb, he slid his finger down your slit coating his fingertip in your anticipation.
He didn’t know he could fall in love with different parts of you. But he did. That pretty face, prettier personality, and perfect pussy. This vacation would give him the time to do everything he needed to do, like pumping you so full of him - “Yes, this is Steve Rogers calling, my wife and I have a reservation for May beginning the third.”
Your hand slid down his leg as you waited, resting over his lap, legs spread open for your husband while he made some calls. You know how annoyed he can get so why wouldn’t you offer up a calming pastime. What kind of wife would you be if you hadn’t?
No matter how many times, day or night over the years experiencing that sweet wetness that leaked between your thighs thrilled him. He was a man, who loved a woman who loved that his heart wasn’t the only thing of hers he was trusted with.
“Yes, I’m calling because there was some type of mix-up with bedding. In the villa, we requested a King and a Queen sized bed.” My wife needs to be able to ride me as wildly as she likes, so when she’s hanging her head off the bed beautifully she has space to stretch her legs, so that when I’ve finished and have this pretty little thing - He circles your nub under his thumb the sunlight streaming in from the window in his office hitting you perfectly from the angle offering him just the right view of his favorite toy glistening. I want her to be able to leak like a faucet and be able to lay down and rest bath without needing a sheet change first.
Pressing your lips against his leg in an attempt to keep quiet while he stroked your clit. You held onto the arm of the chair to help keep yourself some sort of still.
“I’m sorry sir could you excuse me?” He pulled the phone away from his ear and mouth and held it far enough that the sound could be mistaken for anything and bent over to spit on your sex. “He brings the phone back to his ear, laughing. “I’m babysitting my nieces and nephews and they’re just running amok.”
He hummed places the phone between his neck and cheek, amusing himself by patting your slick opening with his fingers just watch to watch the sticky recoil. “Always so wet for me.”
“I’m sorry sir what was that?”
“Nothing, talking to the kids.”
In Steve’s silence to you, you filled in the words you know were guaranteed to have come from his mouth had he not been tied up in conversation.
You take me so well. “You fuck me so good.” While he watches his beefy fingers slide in and out effortlessly.
Think you can take some more sweetie? “Please.”
“Everything’s all cleared up?… Thank goodness. Appreciate all of your help… You too have a good one.” He clears his throat as he hangs up the phone. “Should I call the phone company next?”
Steve went into the ice 70 years ago and left you, his wife, behind. Or so he thought. You were the woman behind the greatest soldier the world had ever known. You were Mrs. America. So what happens when you didn’t get left behind? Or rather what happens when you make a choice to try and save yourself from the heartbreak of losing your husband? You end up in the same time together, launched into the future. So how did you get here and what happens now?
Not read by anyone-mistakes my own. Non Canon compliant:
Tags: vi0lence, implied SH, implied A, and more,
but let’s try posting again so we don’t get lost in the void
Chapter 1: When you find my body……..
You were a woman frozen in time.
Literally.
Stuck in July of 1950, the Fourth of July, 1950 to be exact. Or rather, your body was frozen in time and you were asleep, in a glass coffin of sorts. Not really asleep but frozen in time, to wake up on July fourth of 2016, 66 years to be exact.
Why that year?
That wasn’t really the important part so long as to see how the future, how better the world would be. You were America’s Sleeping Beauty, the woman frozen in time, THE Mrs. America.
It had been a little over 5 years since your husband’s disappearance in the war. While he was the face of hope for the war front, you were the face of those left behind. He was to rally the troops, you were to rally the homemakers, the factory workers, and those who weren’t fit to fight. He sold war bonds, and you educated everyone on the importance of rationing, victory gardens, and turning over precious materials for the greater good. He was America’s hero, and you were its sweetheart.
After he disappeared, you were revered as America’s War Widow, a face that garnered sympathy from everyone. You were put on a pedestal as you were to push on through the grief to help America heal. And you did, for 5 years you helped push America into the post-war boom. To garner in the next decade of prosperity to the American people. And then an opportunity laid out before you, a choice that was yours to make, one that wasn’t hand-picked for you like the last 7 years, since 1943.
You made the choice to be America’s Sleeping Beauty, to wake up 66 years in the future, to bring a bit of 1950s America into the now modern day. A former Nazi scientist turned American Government asset had proposed this idea to S.H.I.E.L.D., to Colonel Philips and Peggy Carter and the other’s in charge of S.H.I.E.L.D., your bosses. They kept you as an asset to keep America safe, a front to hide behind. A public face to prop up, and the American people at it up.
You pitched the idea back to them after the prospect of putting someone to sleep this way was presented to all of you. The idea that you could be America’s Leading Lady, a gift to future America, one that knew of peace. Another way that people could rally behind you, behind S.H.I.E.L.D. and a better world. And you pitched it at the perfect time, they were just about ready to determine how to terminate your position, how to phase you out so that America could essentially move on from the war completely. They knew the American people wouldn’t want to give you up just like that, but this was an opportunity for all parties.
So you did his initial testing, the baseline health tests, ones that you would be compared to once you woke up. This wasn’t something that had ever been done before successfully on humans. Encased in a specialized glass coffin designed by the scientist, and engineered and built by Howard Stark. And you were to be presented at the Stark Expo just a day later. The hope was that if it wasn’t successful, you weren’t going to be too rotted yet if it did kill you. You knew the potential risks, and if you were to die by this procedure, it would be better than chucking yourself off a cliff, which is how you felt underneath your perfect mask since your husband’s disappearance. But America’s Sweetheart committing suicide was not an option, a tragic science experiment was.
Your hope was that when you woke up they would know where Steve was, even if they had already buried his body, you would have closure. You would also be farther removed in time that you may have a chance to move on. There was also a fail-safe if Steve were to somehow magically appear. You could be woken up early with the right set of sequences, to join him in life again.
The base of your resting place held the information needed to wake you up, the tests that needed to be performed, and your luggage packed with your things as if you weren’t taking a 66 year trip into the future, and more or less as if you were to be taking a trip to California from New York. But Stark had the idea to keep that all airtight, perfectly preserved like the day it was put in there. The coffin would start its wake-up sequence at 11:45 AM on July 4, 2016, and you were to be awake at noon. No matter what.
You had dreamed that if this were to be successful, that you were to be put on display at the Smithsonian for all to look upon until you were to wake, that there would be some grand ceremony, after all you were America’s Sleeping Beauty.
But here you were, encased in dust in a bunker on an Army base all but forgotten about. Your display, explaining your life and your dreams surrounded you. The coffin had no need for external power, which was a good thing because the breakers were turned off down here. It was like you were moved here temporarily and were completely forgotten about. As if you had never existed. Today was June 23th, 2016, and today was the first day anyone has seen you in over 30 years.
Just 36 years after you were put to sleep you were forgotten about in the American Eye. You had captured the heart of the nation, you were the face that Americans held on to with such reverie, but you were a blip on the timeline in retrospect. Well, many products still had your face on them, posters and classic Americana did too. When children ask who you were, their parents would remember you fondly, but never had the answer to the question as to what happened to you. As they remembered to know who you are, just a moment later you were forgotten about. No one searched for you. That was, until today, or rather, the search for you had started officially just a few months prior.
But today was the day that this bunker that was your home was to be finally searched. By three men, two whom you knew from childhood. They seemed to be frustrated, running out of options, running out of places to look as they opened the doors in this bunker, room after room sat as if someone just locked the doors one day and never came back, which was actually what had happened. You were the last door, the last bit of hope, but what they stumbled upon wasn’t what they thought.
Steve was the one who entered the room first after the three men made the decision that he should be the one to open the door, the last door of hope in finding you. They knew the weight of what could be held behind the door. But until it was open, they didn’t know if you were there.
Your room wasn’t like the other offices that they had been finding. Of course, you were in a glass coffin and the room around you held the panels of your life, telling your story, or at least a glorified version of it. It seemed to belong to a museum, not some dusty bunker on an army base forgotten about to be left to crumble.
But as Steve entered the room he was frozen. The dim still working filament lightbulbs cased a pitiful glow about the room, the coffin was encased in dust, even with his super-soldier eyesight, he could see what looked to be a body, but no detail more under the thick layer of grime. Bucky and Sam entered behind him but in an instant, Steve took two large steps forward before he could caution himself against it he wiped away at the head of the case.
You were just like the day he last saw you, save for the peaceful look of sleep. He could have sworn at the lack of light in the room for not giving him a better view of your face. He was entranced to see his wife, his best girl, seemingly asleep before him, not aged a day.
His angel.
Even if you weren’t alive, if there was no chance of saving you, he was grateful that you were preserved in this way. He would have sold his soul just to see you once more.
Evil is Subjective Part 9 (Avengers x Villain!Reader)
Author’s Note: Hey guys! So as it turns out, I don’t do very well with quarantines! Sorry I haven’t posted in so long. I feel kinda bad I just let this story sit for so long. To those who asked to be on the tag list, first: thank you! Second: I’m not sure if it accurately tagged all of you. I tried my best but I’m not very good with technology so I might’ve made a mistake. Anyways, I hope you all like it.
Description: You wake up on the riverbank and have to decide what you’re going to do with a certain injured super soldier.
Everything felt fuzzy. You know, like when you’re channel surfing and there’s no connection, so the screen is just that fuzzy grey and black stuff while the speakers make that buzzing noise? Ugh, I hate that buzzing noise.
Slowly, I took a breath, just allowing myself a minute to let my lungs fill with air, and it felt simply amazing — like ecstasy but without the glow sticks. Unfortunately, though, it couldn’t last forever. I needed to actually do something, instead of just sitting there until the end of time. So, I very painfully forced my eyelids to open, taking in all of the blurry details around me. God, it’s like coming down from ecstasy, too.
Ok, so I was on the shore of some body of water, judging by the sound of water nearby, plus my drenched clothes and the pebbles digging into my back. Now just to figure out how the hell I got here. The last thing I remembered was the evil helicarrier going down. I shook my head and pushed away the memory, my stomach churning as I remembered James’s face.
I groaned and urged my aching muscles to work so I could sit up. The headache was absolutely splitting. I blinked the sleep from my eyes and glanced around to take in a better account of my surroundings, though there wasn’t much there.
Pebbles, river, trees, Steve…
I could feel a jolt spark through my chest as I saw him lying there, motionless. With shaky breaths, I crawled my way over to him, ignoring the sting in my knees and palms from all the pebbles.
“Hey, Rogers? C’mon, buddy, it’s time to wake up,” I said, my hands going to his shoulders to try and shake him awake. Oh god, this is all my fault. He must’ve been the one to pull me out. I’m the only reason he went into the water in the first place, and now I might’ve killed him. I almost threw up just at the thought. Quickly, my fingers ghosted over his neck, pressing down for a second just to make sure he still had a pulse. It was weak, but it was enough to send relief flowing through me the second I found it. “Come on, Rogers, wake up! Steve!” I was starting to get more desperate, my heart in my throat as I continued to shake him. I didn’t care how loud I was being, I just needed him to be ok. “C’mon, Steve, please just open those baby blues for me; say some stupid, righteous comment, anything! Just wake the hell up! Please!”
“Steve!” I froze. That wasn’t my voice.
I glanced at the line of trees, my entire body shaking. He was so close, he could easily find me. Instantly, every nerve in my body kicked into high gear, my instincts screaming that I had to run, quickly.
My eyes landed on Steve again. He needed help and fast. I gritted my teeth together and squeezed my eyes shut. I’d probably get arrested if I simply stayed there, let alone if I did something colossally stupid. Still, I just… I couldn’t bring myself to run. Well, I guess I always was pretty good at the insane and stupid side of things.
I knelt beside Steve’s sleeping form and reached my hand out towards him, but I paused as I caught sight of how badly my fingers were shaking. The idea of what I was about to do made me sick to my stomach. I hated this. I felt like I was about to betray everything I believed in. Why did I even care so much? What had this righteous jerk ever done for me? You know, besides help me at every turn.
I groaned and shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut for just a moment in an effort to collect myself. I had to do this. There was simply no other choice. Once again, I reached out and gently wrapped my fingers around Steve’s neck. “God dammit, won’t you just die already?!” I screamed loudly. Apparently it was loud enough, because I could hear footsteps immediately start running towards us, and I quickly braved myself for what was to come.
I gasped as the man from earlier – the one with the mechanical wings – came into view. His eyes sharpened as they met my own, and he immediately fell into a defensive stance. What was he doing here? Who even was he? I’d never seen him before, that’s for damn sure. He was exmilitary, that much was written all over his stance, and he clearly didn’t trust me. Maybe he’d seen the news recently. Of course, it could’ve just been the fact that it looked like I was choking his friend. Really, it’s a toss up if you ask me.
“Who the hell are you? Get away from him!” he snapped. His words shook me from my daze and sent my brain into overdrive. He wasn’t an avenger or a cop, so overall, this was a good thing. He’d be more hesitant to kill me if he was just a citizen. Of course, his obvious training wasn’t gonna help very much, but if I played my cards right, it wouldn’t have to come down to physical fighting.
I forced myself to stand, cursing softly under my breath at how badly my legs were shaking. The fight against James – no, against the Winter Soldier – had completely drained me. I had absolutely no energy left in my body. Silently, I thanked my lucky stars that my obvious fatigue could actually work in my favor this time.
I smirked and lowered my chin slightly, letting a shadow fall over my eyes. “Well, aren’t you a troublesome little pest?” I chuckled lowly. I turned to face the blonde man with a sigh. “It took forever and almost all my energy, but finally knocking you out meant I had a chance to kill the great Captain America. What a pity your friend had to come and ruin the fun,” I pouted before dropping into a low crouch and placing a hand over his heart to reassure myself one last time that he was still breathing. I sent him a quick, sincere smile before swinging my head back around to meet the now more than hostile glare of Robot Chicken, forcing my smile to drop into what I hoped was a sinister looking smirk. Of course, whenever I used to practice my evil face in the mirror I always just ended up looking constipated, so it probably wasn’t all too menacing. Still, it can’t hurt to try, right?
“Uncle Sam here-“ I paused a moment, my eyes immediately catching sight of how his muscles tensed just a fraction further. Was that his name, Sam? I’ll think about it later and just use a different nickname. “The Ultimate Frisbee Champ is still alive, but only just, so you may wanna get him to a hospital.” I stood and stretched, trying to ignore the searing pain in my muscles. “Whelp, I don’t wanna get arrested, so I think I’m gonna head out. I’ll kill you guys next time, though, ok?” I grinned and winked at him. The poor man was speechless, only able to stare as I skipped forward. Our shoulders just barely brushed against each other while I passed. “Fix him up for me, will you? It’s no fun killing someone who can’t put up a good fight.”
I slipped into the cover of the trees nearby and watched as Birdman picked Steve up and carried him towards the nearby search party. As soon as they were out of sight, I bowed my head.
I didn’t have any other choice. He would have questioned why Steve was with me. Steve would have been in danger of being caught helping America’s current public enemy number one.
That’s when I finally realized what I just did. I really just played the villain. Sure, I’m sarcastic and a bit of an ass, but I usually don’t lie, especially about hurting people. I don’t consciously make people believe that I’m evil or that I want to kill them, with the exception of murderers and other scumbags. I shook my head in shock. Since when did I care enough about him to worry about him being caught? And more importantly, why the hell did I care about him? He’s just some schmuck I tricked into working with me!
Wait, that must be it! If he was caught, I’d lose my connection inside the Avengers. Of course I didn’t care what happened to him. That would be insane. All I cared about was helping myself against his teammates. That’s why I helped him, and that’s why I’m following his ambulance on a stolen bike — to make sure my tool didn’t die before he stopped being useful to me. That’s why I sat outside of his second story hospital room window for hours, barely balanced on a branch as I waited for him to wake up. That’s why I felt so terrified right now.
“On your left.”
My head snapped up, and I almost fell straight off the branch at the sudden noise. I felt like a severely uncoordinated squirrel as I crawled forward, but I quickly forgot about how stupid I must have looked when the hospital room became visible through the leaves. I couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto my face at the cheesy line, despite desperately trying to keep it off.
It took a while, but thankfully, the overprotective mama hen eventually left the room with the excuse of finding some coffee, giving me the precious few minutes I was waiting for.
Carefully, I stood up on the branch. The whole thing shook, which didn’t do much to help my overactive imagination that was currently working on picturing the sound my body would make when it hit the ground — I couldn’t decide between the sickening heavy thump and the more cartoonish splat. Carefully, I focused my powers on the latch to the window, gently unlocking it and pushing it open, all the while trying to ignore the burning in my lungs from overusing my gift. Then I took one last deep breath and jumped.
“(Y/N)?!” I quickly shushed the super soldier, gesturing wildly at the many, many soldiers stationed outside his hospital door. Steve glanced at the door before returning to staring forward, trying to act completely natural as the wanted woman squirmed through his window. “What are you doing here?” He hissed, doing his best to keep his eyes forward.
“I’m the stripper-gram you ordered,” I rolled my eyes, savoring the bright pink that spread across his face for just a moment as I plopped down on the cold hospital floor, gently shutting the window behind me, and shimmied my way over to the wall. Will messing with him ever get old? I highly doubt it. “I’m here to make sure you survived, dumbass.”
“Since when did you care what happened to me?” Steve scoffed.
“Oh, I am begging you not to flatter yourself right now, Miss America,” I leaned my head back against the wall from my seat on the floor that was just barely not visible to the guard stationed outside his door, doing my best to control my labored breathing. “I’m just here to make sure I haven’t lost an asset.”
Steve glanced at where I was seated with furrowed brows. “Are you ok? You seem a little out of it.” His voice was layered in concern.
“Of course I’m fine,” I snapped, my nails digging into my palms. Why was I acting angry? I didn’t feel angry. Granted, I’m not quite sure what exactly this feeling was, but I’d felt anger more than enough times to know that this wasn’t it. “Why should you care anyway? Why drag me out of that river? I’m just the girl who’s blackmailing you.”
“I didn’t drag you out; I thought you dragged me out,—“ wait, what? “—and besides, aren’t I’m just the guy you tried to strangle to death? So why exactly are you here checking up on me?” Steve snapped back. It was silent for a moment.
I chucked dryly and let my head fall back. “I’m guessing Mother Goose told you?” He nodded slowly, and I let out a big sigh. “And you didn’t even question how you were still alive, why I would give up my position like and idiot by screaming, or why I would even try to kill you in the first place.” It was more of a statement than a question, but his silence still answered everything. “I’m such an idiot,” I muttered softly. For some reason, it actually hurt. Seriously, what the hell was up with my emotions today? I still have at least another 2 weeks before I was supposed to start having these stupid mood swings. “Have fun recovering. I’ll call you when I need you,” I muttered, barely even believing the half-hearted promise to contact him myself as I wormed my way back over to the window.
“You know him don’t you?” Steve called before I could reach it. Images of the Winter Soldier both now and from all those years ago flashed painfully behind my eyelids, and slowly, I nodded my head. “And he doesn’t know you?” I winced at the thought and let my fingers dance over my swollen, freshly bruised neck. My free hand clenched so tightly my fingernails almost drew blood from my palm. I couldn’t shake the image of him on top of me, his hand wrapped around my throat with his head turned away, refusing to meet my eyes. I nodded once more. I still remembered how Hydra worked — the process they put their most valuable weapon through. The taunt that soldier had jabbed at her long ago about ‘putting him back on ice.’ How many times have they wiped him? How many times have they stolen his memories?
I grit my teeth and opened the window. I didn’t want to think about this. About how my only friend in that horrible place — the one who had protected me from them and who I left behind to just save my own sorry ass — was suffering because of me. Didn’t even know who he was because of me. Was being forced to kill people he once loved because of me.
“You’re wrong.” I frowned and stopped, my fingertips grazing over the window ledge. “He recognized you; I saw it. He looked away and let go for a moment. It’s the only reason I was able to get him off you.” My head snapped up, and I stared at the Steve.
He recognized me?
So then the person who dragged us out of the water must have been…
“James…” My own voice broke the silence that had surrounded us like a heavy blanket.
“He’s still in there. We can still save him.” I stared at Steve fully now. Maybe he was right. Maybe we could do this.
I let out a short, clipped laugh and shook my head. “You really do get off on all that inspirational crap, huh, Rogers?” I smiled ever so slightly and let my eyes meet his once more. “Alright. Let’s bring him back.”
That was what she was. Curled up as tightly as she could get, her arms heavy as they gripped her knees and held them against her chest. Her little nose was bright red, and her skin was littered with goosebumps. She didn’t know where she was or why she was there. All she knew was that she didn’t like these metal walls very much, and she wanted nothing more than to have her favorite teddy bear with her, Lieutenant General Teddy.
Her breath caught as the metal door swung open, trying to hide her tear-stained cheeks from the rather scary newcomer. He loomed above her, his large frame taking up the majority of the space. The man crouched down, causing the little girl to let out a soft whimper.
“Come on. It’s time to get ready,” he spoke levelly. She frowned and curled further into herself, refusing to move. The man sighed and said, “Look, kid, if you don’t come with me, they’re gonna be mad, and it won’t be good for either of us.” The girl sniffled and glanced over at him. It was then that he noticed how badly she was shaking. “I’ll be right there with you.” He almost found himself wondering who said that, not quite believing that he was offering the young girl comfort.
“B-but I don’t even kn-know your n-name,” she fought out between strangled sobs. The man lifted a brow. At least she was cautious. That would help in here.
“You and me both, kid,” he wanted to laugh, but his face instead remained still, frozen in place after years of being punished for so much as a twinkle in the eyes. She retreated further into her little ball, letting out a stubborn little “hmmph.” The man fought back the urge to roll his eyes. “Fine. If it makes you feel any better, you can call me soldier.”
The girl frowned up at him and shook her head. “No, that’s stupid. How ‘bout instead you can be my new teddy, and I’ll call you… Sergeant Teddy. Since the Lieutenant General isn’t here, you can take over for him,” she finished triumphantly. The man’s brow twitched, torn between telling her not to use the annoying nickname and just wanting to get her to go with him before the guards got impatient. Quickly, he made up his mind.
“Alright, fine, now let’s go,” the man stood back up, offering the girl a hand.
Why did he do that? She should be able to get up on her own.
“Woah, Teddy, you have a really shiny arm,” she breathed. He glanced down at the metal and frowned slightly.
“If you don’t like it, you can get up yourself-”
“No, it’s pretty.” The words caught him offguard. Most people here couldn’t even stand to look at it. The girl grabbed his hand and stood up, drawing his thoughts away again.
The man shook his head and led her out of the cell and down the halls, his hand unconsciously tightening around hers as they neared their destination.
“Teddy?” she whispered.
“Hmm.”
“I’m scared.”
He couldn’t exactly be surprised. She was just a kid after all, and these people were monsters. Anyone in their right mind would be scared. He shouldn’t say anything. She needs to learn how to survive in here, and coddling her won’t do her any favors.
“It’s ok. I’ll protect you.” He almost kicked himself for doing something so stupid. He let his emotion get the better of him – something he hadn’t done since his first few weeks in this hell.
“Thank you, Teddy.” She seemed to relax slightly. The man nodded, his doubts gone when he saw her little smile.
–(short Time Skip)–
“I can’t,” she sniffled.
“Well try again,” a man in a white coat snapped, shoving the glass of water towards her. She scrunched up her face, staring at the glass as intensely as a child could.
“I can’t!” She frowned and slumped in her chair, giving up on trying to do what they asked. The soldier winced from where he watched behind the glass. They would be mad.
The man in the white coat clenched his jaw and nodded towards the door. Immediately, a few guards marched in.
“No, no, I’m sorry!” She screamed, tears quickly spilling over her cheeks. “Please, I’m sorry! I can try again!” One of the men grabbed her by the arm and yanked her roughly from her seat. “I’m sorry!-” he punched her in the gut.
The soldier turned away, unable to watch as they beat the poor girl mercilessly.
“Stop! Please!” Her cries rang in his ears. In fact, he was so focused on them that he didn’t notice his hands balling into fists or his muscles getting tense.
“Teddy!”
He was by her side before she could even finish the name, the guards immediately taking a hesitant step back. This was insane. He couldn’t do this. He would be punished. “Teddy,” the soft, broken whimper was all it took for him to steel himself back up.
“Touch her and die,” he growled, eyeing each of the guards in turn. When he was satisfied they wouldn’t advance, he turned to the girl. He knelt before her, running a gentle hand through her hair as she rushed towards him, burying her face in his chest. “It’s ok,” he soothed. “Teddy’s here.” He let her cry for a moment before grabbing her by the shoulders and making her look at him. “You need to try again.”
Tears quickly sprung into her eyes again. “I can’t do it.” Her voice was shaking.
“Yes you can,” he said firmly. “Now focus hard and do as he says. I’ll help you.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed. The girl sucked in a harsh breath and gathered herself up, nodding determinedly back at him. She faced the table and took a deep breath before tucking her chin slightly to stare at the glass. Everything in the room faded away – the door slamming open, the man in the white coat screaming as loud as he could, the cocking of the man’s gun, which quickly silenced all of them, she didn’t hear any of it. She could only feel the metal hand that engulfed her own, offering a kind of reassurance that she would succeed.
Slowly, the water in the glass rose. It wavered and splashed at the minimal amount of control she had over it, but it was something. It was control, though little it may be.
The entire room stared at the girl as she held the writhing ball of water suspended in the air, almost entranced by the feat. The water came crashing back down into the cup, and she squealed, jumping and wrapping her small arms around the still kneeling man’s neck.
“Teddy, Teddy, did you see?! I did it! I really did it!” she continued to squeal, her previously thick voice and tear-filled eyes now morphed into what can only be described as the pure joy that a child experiences when she knows she did well.
“Yeah, I saw it,” the man chuckled a bit at her excitement. “Good job, kid.”
The girl pulled back a bit to show him the largest beaming smile she could muster. “Don’t be silly, Teddy! You can call me (Y/N)!”
The man lifted a brow, but she stuck out her bottom lip, glaring at him and making it very clear that she wouldn’t be taking no for an answer. The man sighed and stood. “Alright, fine. Let’s go, ok, (Y/N)?” He held a hand out for her, and she took it without hesitation. The crowd of guards parted for them, far too terrified of her Teddy to even think about getting in their way.
–(Time Skip)–
“No! I’m not going! Not without my Teddy!” They’d tried everything to get her out of the room, but what can they do when they can’t even get close enough to threaten her? The girl sat in the middle of her cell, a whirlpool of speeding water surrounding her. One of the guards who had been stupid enough to try to force his way through had gotten his shoulder dislocated by the incredibly strong currents.
“At least we know she’s powerful,” the supervisor commented. “Where did she even find enough water to create such a thing?”
“W-well, sir,” the man in the white coat started nervously. “We aren’t really sure. Although, some of us think she might have plucked it from the humidity in the air.”
The supervisor blinked in surprise before falling into a smirk. “From the air, eh? Very powerful indeed,” he chuckled softly to himself. One of the guards screamed, interrupting the conversation. It seemed that he had attempted to just touch the water, and his finger was now twisted beyond recognition. The supervisor frowned just a fraction, which was more than enough to terrify the man next to him. “Your men are useless,” he commented casually. “I will have to get her myself.”
The man in the white coat’s eyes widened in terror. After all, if the supervisory died, he would probably meet the same fate. “B-but sir-”
“Must I remind you of what happens to those who speak out of turn?” The supervisor snapped before he could protest.
“O-of course, sir. My sincerest apologies.” His voice was shaking.
“Remember your place, rat. Do not attempt to crawl from the gutter, or you will be exterminated.”
The supervisor walked into the cell, not even bothering to glance at the frozen man behind him. Slowly, he approached the whirlpool. “So I hear you miss your teddy bear,” he called out above the roaring of the waves. “Perhaps I can find you a new one.”
“No, you can’t! Teddy isn’t some stupid bear, he’s my friend!” She screamed. the waters seemed to speed up a bit, causing the man to take a cautious step back.
“Well then maybe I can find him for you,” he called again. “If you describe him, I’ll find him and bring him back to you.”
The water slowed with his words. It wasn’t enough to make them fall, but it was at least enough so that he could now catch a glimpse of her, rather than the endless stream of white foam. “R-really? Promise?” She said warily.
“Promise,” he nodded. “I just need you to tell me what your teddy bear looks like.”
The girl frowned. “What are you, stupid? I told you, he’s not a bear.” Oh, how he wanted to slap her for speaking to him like that. Of course, he stopped himself. He needed her trust if he hoped to control her. “A-also, he has really long hair. It’s brown and soft. And his eyes are blue. He’s super big and strong and brave, and he has this really pretty arm. It’s all shiny with a big star on it.” She finished. Just talking about her teddy had calmed her down enough to let the water fall, revealing her full frame.
The man frowned darkly. “Are you talking about the Winter Soldier?” he fought to keep his voice level.
The girl furrowed her brow and tilted her head. “Who?”
“The Winter Soldier, Sergeant James Barnes, is that who you speak of or not, you stupid child?!” he snapped.
The girl’s features hardened. “He isn’t Sergeant James, he’s Sergeant Teddy. And I’m not stupid, you’re just a big dumb meanie-head!” she screamed back.
The man opened his mouth, fully prepared to scream at her and punish her for her for her insolence when he saw the fallen drops of water gathering at her feet and forming what looked suspiciously like spikes. So instead, he counted silently to five and said, “Your Teddy is a very dangerous man. I don’t want him to hurt you-”
“He won’t hurt me, Meanie-head, he’s my Teddy!” She stomped her foot on the ground, the spikes at her feet growing more defined and threatening.
The man grit his teeth together and growled softly under his breath. “Alright, fine, I will get you Teddy. And when I do, you will go with these men like a good girl or else you’ll never see Teddy again. Understand?” She nodded. “Good.”
It wasn’t long before the door opened again, revealing none other than her Teddy. She squealed and ran to him, where he received her without any hesitation. “Teddy, I was so lonely! They wouldn’t let me see you, and one man kept calling you Sergeant James, even though I told him your name was really Sergeant Teddy, and I was so scared they wouldn’t let you come and-and…”
“It’s ok, medvezhonok (little bear). I’m here now,” he shushed her gently. “I’m here.”
The next few years went by in a similar fashion. Whenever they needed the girl to train, she would refuse to move an inch until they brought her Teddy. He taught her how to fight, both with and without her powers; how to use any and every weapon she could ever need; and stayed with her while she was learning how to read coding and force her way through firewalls for information. They were not happy – no one could be happy in a place such as that – but they found comfort in one another. In a life of constant danger and fear, they felt safe when they were together. Until one day, when it all ended.
She was 12 now, but her skills already exceeded those of anyone they faced her against in training as well as all of her guards. “Where’s Teddy?” she asked, confused at why he wasn’t with them. Most of the guards had given up trying to move her on their own.
“Move,” one of the men snapped harshly.
Immediately her heart started pounding. It was never good when they didn’t answer. “Where is he?”
“This is ridiculous,” one of them scoffed. He looked new – he was still confident… and stupid. “Your ‘Teddy’ won’t be joining you again.” Her heart must have stopped, her breath caught in her throat. “The freak was put back on ice. If you’re lucky, though, you might get to see him in another ten years,” he snorted. “Now let’s go.”
The poor girl was feeling a lot of things – sadness for her lost Teddy, fear for what the men might do to her with him gone, but mostly it was anger. She hated these men more than anything, and now they had taken away the one thing she had left – her last bit of comfort.
And really, it wasn’t her fault when it happened. That stupid young guard had jabbed her with the end of his gun at a moment when she really shouldn’t have been jabbed, and the powers she had been struggling to control had simply taken over.
Most of what happened was a blur for the poor thing. It wasn’t until her powers had run out and she had finally regained control that she saw all of the blood. It painted every wall, every hallway from her cell to where she now stood, across the compound. There were no bodies, but she had a sinking feeling that they might be mixed in with all of the blood. Above her was a big, red sign lighting up in the word ‘EXIT.’ She didn’t really care about that, though. She had to find Teddy.
But he could be anywhere – he might not even be in the building anymore – and she was starting to hear footsteps heading her way.
So, she made a decision – one that made her sick to her stomach.
“I’m sorry, Teddy,” she whispered softly as she pushed open the door.
tags:dark prisonguard!steve rogers, eventual hint of bucky x reader too, strong NONCON elements, oral sex (fingering), abuse of power/authority, eventual implications of manipulation
a/n: i did not intend for this mini-series to be a stucky x reader (i dont write for bucky), but i had to for the plot. omg ok so i dedicate this to @imdarkinme – my savior, my inspiration, my everything, my reason for writing dark fics. I LOVE YOU BABE. THIS ONE IS 4 U. NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING U (nd ur fics) <3
When your closest friend had called you one night stating that you were one of the most wanted persons in the city, you honestly thought of it as a prank. You could remember those moments so vividly. And honestly, you could just wish for a rewind in time as you never would have seen what was to come later on.
"I swear, your name is all over the newspapers–”
The worry in her voice was so strong. Natasha had awoken you and did not hesitate on blaring at you about the news she had just discovered, specifically about you.
“You’re actually fooling me by saying you still read those?” Your voice was still groggy as you tried to sit up straight to prevent yourself from falling asleep during mid-conversation.
“This isn’t a joke! I’m not trying to make you laugh I swear to god,” she asserts while consistently keeping the mood and tone of the conversation.
You cocked your head to the side, positioning your phone between your ear and shoulder. Your fingers were gently wiping circles around your eyes as your vision was still adjusting. For a moment you contemplated on switching on your lamp alongside, but eventually you did after realizing that your friend seemed to have no plans on ending the stunt she was pulling on you.
“Look I’m trying to be serious here–”
“I’m trying to get some sleep here, Nat.” Your tone came off a bit rude, cranky even, but both of you knew it was not intentional.
Hence, Natasha just disregards your tone off and continues, “I’m seeing your full name and even your picture in the paper, clear as day. There is not a doubt, that you’re the person they’re looking for.”
“Why would I be committing any crimes when I’ve been working in the coffee shop almost every weekdays to pay my rent for the least.” You scoffed, clearly not seeing any logical reason behind everything she had been telling you, “Hell, I’m struggling to put anything in my fridge but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to rob a bank or murder someone, okay?”
“God, I don’t know either, Y/N. I do believe you, I really do,” she calls out, “but what I do know is that the bureau is searching for your ass right now and we have to do something because they don’t seem to be easier to convince than me!”
There was a long pause afterwards. You were just so sleepy and out of a decent state of mind. You did not know how to react to it, probably not even comprehending any of what you just heard as there was not even a hint of horror or worry in your voice.
Merely, you just stared in front of you, glaring at the plain beige-colored wallpapers, with lips slightly agape and eyelids exceedingly droopy. If Natasha could only see your eyes looking completely exhausted right now, you were so sure that she would cut the act and leave you to finally get some sleep again.
Eventually, your friend spoke up again to break the wearisome conversation. “Sweetie, I’m so worried for you.”
“Are you crying? You’re very cute, you know that?” you say followed by a yawn. “Wish you did this prank tomorrow morning, I feel like you would’ve definitely gotten a better reaction from me. I’m sorry you didn’t get the reaction you were looking for tonight.”
“I’m not kidding, please, would you just listen to me.” Again, another loud sigh could be heard from her at the other end of the call, “God, if you search it up online I swear you’re going to find your name somewhere there. Don’t be so stubborn, I’m just looking out for you!”
“I’m too tired,” you honestly answered her. It must have been the lack of sleep, but the filter in your tone just was not enough to express enough sympathy to her. “Please I just need to get some sleep, Nat.”
“I’ll still be seeing you tomorrow, right?” Her voice broke a little, seeming as if she was on the edge of breaking down or crying. During that moment, you could applaud for how good of an acting she had been doing for you. Considerably, that might have been one of her best performances yet – or so you thought.
Nevertheless, you wanted to joke about her entire stunt, but you really were too tired to make something out of it.
The corner of your lips slightly curved into a soft smile. “I promise you’ll see me tomorrow. While you’re at it, you can tell me that you told me so if the Federal starts knocking at my door.”
You made that joke granting that you were not holding anything ahead of you. It was an innocent line that you thought could have gone better and lighten up the mood.
“Y/N, please, I–”
“Good night, Nat.” You could only stay awake for so long at this point. Your eyelids were sealed shut and you were seconds away from falling back against your soft mattress.
God that was stressful, though it could have gone worse and longer. How in the world did Natasha even think of that kind of prank on you or any of her other friends, you thought.
Dropping your phone beside and hearing a thump afterwards, you reach for the switch of your lamp. With one flip you were finally surrounded by the calming darkness again and left you to your peaceful slumber.
That was pretty much what you could recall before your entire world was turned upside down. Those were your moments before everything in your life had lead to a complete disaster. You honestly wished you could have done better, maybe even listened to Natasha.
You pondered what things could have turned out to be if you were not so sleepy and ignorant that night. Oh, could you honestly just pray that this was just a nightmare you still have not awoken from – dreading that you were still in that deep sleep you have been longing after that phone conversation with your best friend.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾༓･*˚⁺‧͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾༓･*˚⁺‧͙
And now, you were standing inside the courtroom with your useless lawyer beside you.
There were dozens of people behind where you sat. You could feel their strong and deadly gazes directing and stabbing you right into your back, but you could care less. The only thing that had you on the edge of your seat was the judge and the jury located in front of you as they were the ones who got to decide whether you plead guilty or not.
For days, you have discussed this and tried to reason out how completely innocent you were. You tried to gather witnesses as much as you could. But as a woman who was seen as nobody, it was pretty fucking hard and you were regretting to ever reject any interaction other people had offered with you for these past weeks.
You were framed. However, only you, and hopefully Natasha, knew that completely.
Even your relatives and former friends showed signs of doubt and it had honestly crushed your poor soul into more pieces. It fucking broke your heart. How could these people even think twice upon hearing that you have been subjected to robbery and assault?
Without any connections or enough funds, you were sure to go downhill from here. You were not given a proper lawyer with this case, feeling rigged as ever with the justice system of your country.
And sadly, from the looks of it, you seemed to be at boiling water. Every statement against you had been totally unreasonable and it was frustrating enough that you could not defend you and your dignity properly. You deserved so much more than what you were getting right now.
All you could do was close your eyes and suck in everything they have been throwing at you – the judge, juries, and for sure the media. Bastards.
Eventually, the moment everyone else had been waiting for had to arrive. You knew what was about to come from the judge’s mouth. Though, there was this tiny bit inside of you that pleaded for any turn of events, even so a miracle, to happen for the least.
There was a tear rolling down from your cheek as you looked down and stared at the wooden table. You kept both your hands intertwined and underneath it while trying to hide yourself from everything and everyone surrounding you.
You hear the judge strike the wooden gavel against the surface of the table three times, calling the attention of everyone as he was about to give out the order. Your heart beat raced rapidly as your fate was seconds away from being determined.
“The sentence for the citizen, Y/N Y/L/N, for the acts which are reproached to her is one year of imprisonment.” The declaration was widely straightforward, nothing more or less.
You could hear the gasps and other reactions of the audience. There was an amount of noise from the crowd, most of them calling out for your name as they seem to be wanting to throw questions at you, but you did not want to face any of them, especially the media.
Your hands were getting shaky and you were trying your best not to break down into tears. You released your interlaced fingers and made them into a fist, trying to bury your nails into the skin of your palms hoping that the pain would distract your from the sorrow you have yet to face.
There was nothing you could do as the final decision has been done.
Moreover, just as you thought you were slowly accepting the discriminatory ruling of the courtroom, your fear accelerated further while watching two guards emerge from the corner of the room. They were built like bodyguards, if not even more intimidating, as their expressions remained stoic.
They could have walked over to you within seconds, but during that moment you could honestly feel your entire world slow down. You just wanted to stop time, or rewind it even better, for the fear of what was awaiting for you.
Prison was not a place you had been expecting to be in a year ago. Hell, you never expected it even when your best friend told you two nights before. The Maldives or Bahamas would have been somewhere you were planning to go to rather. That was definitely in your bucket list.
Nonetheless, terror went through your system as those two guards had stood on either sides of you. They did not waste a second on grasping either of your arms also, them making sure you were secured and unable to make any movements as they proceeded to put your hands behind your back. The metal handcuffs were expected afterwards, feeling it tighten around your wrists prior to hearing it lock.
You barely could move your wrists apart for even the slightest millimeter.
Their hands slid between your body and your arms, tugging you to stand up and signaling you to follow them. Obviously, you did not want to cause any more of a scene unless you wanted to look more suspicious than you already were deemed to be.
“Follow us,” one of them instructed as they escorted you slowly out of your seat.
As you stood up and steadily made your way to the corner where they had emerged from earlier, you took one last look behind your back. You just wanted to see everyone making a fuss about your case, never mind whether it be positive or negative.
“I really didn’t do it,” you plead.
“I believe in your innocence, Y/N!” A familiar voice cried out.
It might have been a regretful action, but as you looked back, you immediately spotted Natasha just a few seats away from the front. Her newly dyed blonde hair stood out from you as she also wore a formal attire to your hearing. She had misery written all over her face and you could honestly feel her being remorseful.
That was pretty much the last thing you saw in the place that held you guilty and up for prison for crimes you were far from executing. You were not sure whether to be grateful or not with that memory.
Both doors closed behind you and before you knew it, you heading out of the building with dozens of people with microphones and cameras directly pointed at you.
None of them get to have any second of your time though. You could see as they tried to make their way to the edge of the aisle where the staff had given way for you to walk on. You were greeted with so many reporters that you felt so claustrophobic for that moment, even so close to fainting from the unfamiliar set up.
It was tragic to hear them calling you a criminal. Nothing else could replay in your mind than your name and that word being put next to each other. You could not imagine that happening even in your next lifetime.
“Get inside,” the man instructs as you have seemed to zone out despite all the attention you have been receiving. Your own thoughts have become more deadly that you were close to making it as a pathetic form of an escape. “Christ, we said get inside the car, lady.”
Finally you did, bending over modestly to be able to make your way inside the backseat of the police car. As you got inside, you spot the wired barrier between where you sat and the front area of the driver and passenger seats. It reeked of cigarettes inside and all you could think about was wanting to throw up.
You were still cuffed from behind and as you got to take a seat inside, one of the guards roughly slammed the car door. You bounced in your seat due to sudden shock and harshness over you, but you might as well need to get used to this kind of treatment.
You glanced at the window, seeing people still trying to make their way to get a good view of you. You could hear and see the flashes of cameras going on at you and all you could show now was a face of dejection, not sparing the moment to cry further.
No doubt your entire body and system were still ridden with fear. But with what you had just experienced in court, you were so doubtful anyone could help you or make the superiors change their mind on what they had sentenced you with.
It was repulsive and unfair to see people like that walk freely in their consciousness, in spite of them not being entirely sure if the person they have sent to prison was really at fault.
The sound of the car engine roaring as the cop has started it up interrupted you from your overwhelming thoughts. It was then that you had to accept that you were being transported to jail, a maximum facility to be exact – because somehow they found robbery to be more deadly than the others.
You saw the unfamiliar faces on your window swiftly pass from sight as the car drove away. God, this was terrifying.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾༓･*˚⁺‧͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾༓･*˚⁺‧͙
They made you change into those prisoner jumpsuits but instead of it being the typical color orange, it was in a very lighter shade of pink, even so being close to white. The color deemed so pure and innocent yet the place you were going to be held captive seemed the opposite of it.
The penitentiary did not look welcoming at all either. It had not reached even the least bit of your standards, expecting them to look like psychiatric hospitals since it was rumored to hold people who were convicted of serious crimes – not that you actually did so anyway.
Instead, it was grimy and disgusting. You were close to assuming they barely take care of the place at all.
You were helpless either way. There seemed to be no luck for you as another pair of guards were awaiting for you to finish changing your clothes. You were buttoning it up as you could hear their voices, “Hurry up, lady! The captain doesn’t like waiting for too long.” Making you panic even more, fumbling for your casual clothes that had dropped on the filthy tiled floor.
“S-sorry!” You mewled, still frightened about the flow of events.
Like always, they escorted you out, making sure to cuff both your wrists before positioning themselves on either sides of you. You could honestly just tear up again, realizing all too well now that they were treating you like one of the biggest criminals in town, when in fact, you could not even hurt a fly.
They guided you through a corridor, expecting to see cell jails with metal bars acting as a barrier. Alternatively, you were greeted with bulky gray metal doors that had a small sliding widow situated in the middle, which you assumed was for food only.
It was probably for the best, you could not imagine how scary the convicts looked behind those doors, or maybe they were also like you - incapable yet falsely incriminated.
A knee had kicked against the side of your leg, causing you to let out a short screech. “Jeez, could you walk any slower? Stop whining and zoning out.” The man’s voice echoed.
You unsteadily nodded, following the orders and focusing straight at your front. It was then after a few more resentful steps before the three of you took a turn, coming to face a wide door.
As you approached closer, you could discern the amount of dirt that had accumulated on it. It looked rusty and old, probably have not been improved nor modernized at all, which definitely gave off raw middle aged vibes with their prisons and such.
The guard unbolted the large latches at its side. He dragged it open all the while creating a strong high-pitch, horrifying sound which resonated throughout the hallway.
The first thing you had noticed was a man positioned in front of the room. He presented directly in front, looking comfortably seated while awaiting for your presence. There were at least three guards that stood surrounding him, each keeping their distance as they acted as a barricade. You supposed that the man in front was the captain they had been highly speaking of.
You stood at the threshold without even realizing that you were unable to move. The guards did not you so kindly this time, consequently feeling a strong hand over your shoulder and another one behind you. One of them practically shoved you in front, leaving you plummeting against the ground as your legs quivered still under fear.
Alongside, a commanding voice rang through your ears, stating to make your greetings with respect to their higher-up.
While your legs felt paralyzed, your head and mind were still intact. You were looking at the ground feeling shy to even gaze at the man who assuredly sat in front of you. The only thing you could get a glance on was his polished black shoes, looking very expensive and well taken care of.
Moreover, you saw the tip of his shoe extend right towards your face. Within a blink of an eye, you felt the leather under your chin, pressing against it and subtly tilting your head upwards to look up and finally face him.
The first few words you could make up were along the synonyms of beautiful. You had no words nor did you expect yourself to be engrossed by his looks.
Unlike the other guards who wore the typical uniform, he wore a more formal looking one. He had a white suit and black tie underneath. Along with it was his sleek black long-sleeved coat that was personalized with badges, stars, a name tag, a belt, and a rope at the side. All of those designs were silver in color which beautifully contrasted with the rest of his dark uniform.
His blond hair was neatly brushed back with a police hat faintly slanted and placed on top. His uniform was pressed precisely too, making him look perfect for the role he was reported to be. However, despite his attractive bodily aura, he kept a deadpanned expression which does not help upon calming your nerves.
So far you still felt like you were in deep trouble.
“3077,” he asserts. His voice was forceful without any hints of delay. “That’s what you’ll be called here.”
You were still a trembling mess, lips ajar over each other while staring with blank thoughts. You were unaware that you were staring at the man for a while already. He does not flinch or react either, merely dragging his shoe away from under your chin and moving towards the side of your cheek.
The side of his shoe repeatedly taps on your skin which catches your attention and interrupts another of your daydreaming sessions. “Answer, 3077!”
“Y-yes!” You whimpered under him.
“Good.” He vaguely nods,
“I’m Steve Grant Rogers, the chief security guard here,” He introduces himself while still having a foot in contact with your face, “Starting today, three o’clock in the afternoon, you will be my responsibility.
He continues on, using his foot to tug your face. Your upper body was leaning in front with hands still cuffed behind you and all you could do was listen, stare, and nod at him. “You must obey absolutely what I say until you earn your freedom, do you understand?”
Even the slightest pause was unacceptable for him, “Answer!”
“Yes!”
“I suppose you already know before they sent you here, but ever since the year 2030, this has become a maximum security prison…”
“And you’re the only woman among the rest of the prisoners here,” he explains. A subtle smirk turns onto the ends of his lips, but was not as obvious as he had intertwined hands covering his face.
A wave of surprise washes over you, the shock upon your face was evident as your jaw dropped. He does not give you a moment to react further. “I’ll start with the routine admission. Bring her with me,” he instructs to the same guards that escorted you earlier, both proudly standing alongside his throne.
Hands did not hesitate on carrying you up until you got your legs working again. You were walking behind Steve with guards still assisting you, and yet again you were being dragged into the many corners of the nauseating penitentiary.
“Where are they taking me?” You spoke with a low voice; however, none of them responded. They continued to walk with you, leaving the air utterly dead and silent.
They made their way to another room, Steve stopping in front of its door and then turning around. “I’ll take her from here. Go back with the rest and make sure Maximoff isn’t causing another ruckus in the cafeteria,” he instructs while his subordinates obediently apprehended along.
“Yes, sir.” They respond, immediately releasing their grip around your biceps and walking away after carrying out a salute.
Furthermore, Steve dragged you into the room after unlocking the door and switching the light on. You heard the jingling of keys behind you, even so feeling his figure unnervingly stop behind you. He stood too close, swearing that you could feel his body only inches away from your back, his breathing fawning over the top of your head.”Let’s start, shall we?”
Your wrists got to freely breath after hearing a click from the lock, somewhat surprising you as you were released from the metal handcuffs. Huh.
“Strip,” he boldly orders.
“E-excuse me?”
“You heard me,” he goes over, “Don’t make me repeat it. Take off your clothes.”
“I won’t do it!” Despite being terrified of him, you still wanted to keep even the least bit of your dignity left.
“A body search is mandatory in the penitentiary,” he warrants.
“Still!”
“I thought I told you that my orders were absolute, did I not?”
Though you tried to stay silent to prevent him from further infuriating, your mind had been wandering around with several questions.
Why was he doing this? Can this even be reported to the higher-ups?
The latter was far from likely, recalling that he had told you that he was the chief security guard in the place. Everything would be going through him and will be finalized by him, and him only.
“That’s it, 3077. Now strip.”
You hesitated. Your hands were shaky as your arms steadily moved to your front, pausing to undo each button starting from the collar and progressing down. You wanted to take an hour or so, probably even forever, but the man standing in front of you seemed to be generally impatient.
The look on his face was a combination of eagerness and attraction but your mind shifts it all into a repulsive imagine of emptiness.
Your white undershirt and undergarments remained as your baby pink jumpsuit fell to the ground. You stand shamefully, arms over each other trying to cover your chest. “Everything. Down. Now.” His voice getting more and more demanding as you provoked to stall every minute that went by.
Your chin was titled down, not wanting to show your self-consciousness to him. Your fingers gripped on the garter of your undershirt, pulling it over your head and feeling a short cold breeze over the skin of your stomach.
Chills were already across your skin, granting that you did not have a choice in any of this. This was your ticket to freedom – or so you could only dream for.
When your skin was completely exposed to him, you reached another level of shame you were not even aware of. You felt colder than before, trying to cover your breasts with the warmth of your hands. Still, you stared at the grimy floor, not wanting to see the man’s reaction as you knew it would just make your state of mind worse.
“A-Alright, is this enough for you?” A small scoff hidden between your tone.
“Hold on,” he says without minding your mockery, “Lie down there, your legs facing towards my direction.”
Your frowned even further, looking aside where he was pointing towards. His index was directed at a hospital bed at the side which did not have any railings at its side, merely having a metal footboard and headboard.
You walked towards there, one arm still covering the front of your breasts while the other acting as a support as you sat down first. Eventually you rest your back against the sheets along with the back of your head on the only pillow provided there. You followed as he told, sealing your thighs together though.
The beating of your heart increases rapidly knowing completely how this was going to go down.
From the corner of your eye you can see him raise his hand towards his mouth, tugging one of his gloves from a hand with the use of his teeth. He lets the fabric fall to the ground while walking closer towards the side of the bed where you lay down. This time, a smirk was obvious upon his face as he did not bother to hide it.
Steve’s hands descend over your body, making you tense up as you tried to keep your head straight and stare right at front. However, even if you attempted to avoid looking at him, you could not fight the feeling of his fingers stroking your upper body.
He started with your chest area, further descending down. All the while you had one thought in mind – one you felt disgusted to even have it cross your thoughts.
His fingers felt soft, like a feather. For a split second you wondered if he had done this before, moreover if he was used to doing such a flustering act.
“P-please don’t,” you mewl, “Stop.”
Your cries made the smirk on his face grow wider, only wanting to wipe it off from him but feeling completely powerless to do so. Instead of giving a second thought to what you were saying, he drags his hand between your lower abdomen.
Despite having your thighs glued together to prevent this very purpose from happening, the man merely parts them from one another. Just as you thought you had the strength to keep them shut, you felt entirely the opposite once he was actually touching your body already. The way your inner thighs quivered as he spreads them apart was already a sign of how weak you were against him.
“3077,” his throaty voice calls out. “What’s the matter with you? It’s just a simple body search.”
Regardless of his statement, his fingers began toying around the entrance of your cunt. Even so you could feel his thumb lightly press against your bud of nerves, drawing subtle circles around, as the rest of his fingers continued to encourage your body’s growing arousal.
Hell, he barely even inserted his fingers yet you were starting to get wet from the simple gestures of him touching you.
“Why are you reacting like that?” The smugness in his voice was clear.
“I- No!” Your voice was trembling as your body did too. The muscles at the back of your thighs tightened while sweat began to form from your forehead.
“You’re in prison, 3077,” Steve says, “the place where you’re going to pay for the crime you committed.”
After successfully rousing your body up, he smoothly inserts a finger inside your pussy, and for all that earning a sound which was caused from the wetness of your cunt. Both of you acknowledged how gladly your body welcomed him.
He began to thrust his fingers in and out of you, gaining several instinctive moans out from your lips. Your head felt warm and lightheaded. The worry in your eyes apparent and ardent.
He tsked. “Why are you getting these reactions?”
And then adding, “…I don’t want you to get me wrong.”
His rhetorical questions deemed useless for the situation nor provided comfort for you at all. You looked at him all the same yet it does not stop him from adding another finger.
Either way, Steve did not stop after it. His fingers continued to thrust deeper inside you, having your body bounce against his hand. You were a growing mess with hands finding their way to grasp onto the disheveled white sheets.
As much as you tried to bite down a moan, your mouth could not help but give in. Your gut felt as if they were tightening around him for every moment the tips of his fingers curl inside you. You yourself could feel how hot the temperature of your body increases as he boldly fingers you. “Ah… A-Ah… Ow… P-please … S-stop it…”
Amidst everything, however, there were voices coming from outside of the room. You did not notice them at first, being completely overwhelmed with the sensation of being pleasured. You were only aware of what was being said outside when Steve’s used his other hand to cover your mouth from moaning further. His palm pressed against your lips while you breathed through his fingers.
“Are you serious? I would love to fuck that woman!”
“If we behave would she might consider giving us a reward?”
“I bet she would be tight as fuck!”
“What are you talking about!”
“Fuckers! I told you that you can’t keep roaming around these halls.”
The voices eventually died down, seeming that it would have been inmates passing by from the corridors. Nonetheless, tears were already brimming from your eyes as you – uselessly – kept yourself together. “P-please..”
“N-No! Don’t d-do this to me,” you plead. Each moment lead to the build up of your orgasm, already feeling the knotting near your stomach and the clenching of your walls.
It was predictable for your part when Steve barely showed any hint of sympathy for your messy situation. He pursued your climax while maintaining an impassive expression. He wanted to see you crumble and he wanted to show how remorseless he can be either way.
It was useless to hold back. The man was going to get what he wanted and he did not need to say it.
You allowed yourself to let loose, creating an utter mess between your inner thighs and his hands. Your exposed cunt was throbbing alike your temples. Your chest was heavily heaving as your own sweat covered both your body and face.
Those were your last moments before succumbing to black out due to the chief security guard wearing you out.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾༓･*˚⁺‧͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾༓･*˚⁺‧͙
When your eyelids had fluttered open, the only thing you could make out of was the darkness in the room. You were laying on the bed, but you could instantly detect a blanket covering you. In addition, you were wearing your jumpsuit.
You took a deep breath and paused, recalling everything that you could remember and confusing it for a nightmare. Though whatever it could have been, you were just glad that the pain and throb in your head had ceased.
You had no choice but to sit up, discerning a feint light illuminating from behind a door. Looking around, you could still also notice a mirror, a sink, and a toilet at the side of the room. You assumed you must have finally been resting in your prison cell.
“Listen to me!” A loud voice came from the other side of the door.
“You have ten minutes to clean your room. After that, all of you must assemble in the hallway!”
Another wave of panic gets over you, but you quickly follow to what had been instructed. Since you did not have anything at hand all you figured that you have been resting all along, you merely fixed the sheets of your bed and fluffed your pillow. You fixed your jumpsuit too, flattening it down while making sure there were not any holes nor unbuttoned parts at the front.
When you made your way outside, you saw how fast the other inmates were as they had beat you to the corridors. Each of them were lined up, back facing their assigned prison cell as their front faced the hallway. There was a guard at the end of it too.
“List yourself up!” He starts.
Each inmate started to count, “One!” There voices loud and clear.
Despite that, your mind was clouded with the thought of what happened between you and Steve Rogers, acclaimed Chief Security Guard of the maximum facility.
Was it a all a nightmare? You could not even dare yourself to call it a dream.
“Twenty-eight!” The deep and guttural voice of an inmate calls from your right side.
“Twenty-nine!” You scream as you assumed you were next to him.
Out of nowhere, the other male inmates started to chuckle. It was probably for the obvious fact that you were a female and was completely distinctive among the rest of them.
Even if you have not done anything embarrassing in front of them so far, you surely felt like you were full of shame. You looked around and found every man’s gaze at you, staring at you like you were a prize at the end of the race.
Well, except for one.
You saw him just a few doors away from you. He had a few tattoos over both his arms – a red star being the most striking one compared to the rest of the designs.
The man seemed to have grown his dark hair, and his beard too. Your gaze at him fell longer compared to the rest and it was enough time before he got to feel your attention towards him. He kept a blank stare nonetheless as you were startled and looked away.
“Dude your arm fucking touched me!” Another one exclaims. He had silver hair and looked buffed alike the rest, his thick accent being the trait that stands out for him.
“Huh? You’re the one who ran into me, asshole!” The one he started an argument with now had a darker hair brushed into a mohawk. A sleeve tattoo was also present.
“Hey stop it, you two! If you keep this up, they’ll punish us all!” Again, another voice comes from behind and you did not bother to see how that man looked. He was smart though, that’s for sure.
Nevertheless, it did not stop the two from brawling further. With one swift move, the silver-haired guy already had raised his arm and purposely punched the man he was arguing with.
“Hell, all of us are in big trouble!”
Thankfully though, the man you were distracted from earlier had walked into their argument. He confidently stood between them and proceeded to pull them apart by the back of their jumpsuits. The two men looked surprised – even so slightly terrified – after seeing him caught up in between. “You two still want to fight?”
They did not answer him, merely looking away with a scoff on their faces and then lining back up at their spots in front of their cell doors.
Despite all of this, he still kept the blank expression just as you saw when he caught you staring right at him. No grins or smirk, whatsoever.
a/n: this was based of niki’s song! a beautiful ballad just in time for this kind of season <3
You can only wonder what was going through Steve’s mind.
Spring had been so beautiful around the month of May. It was the perfect time as the season had been coming to a close.
Trees around the parks of New York City started growing their leaves, each one having their unique shade. The weather had felt warmer and assumed was generally radiating a positive aura for the entrance of Summer.
Steve had remembered that month so vividly alike his classic songs embossed on vinyls that kept replaying.
Both of you were taking a stroll around Central Park, as you had requested. He gladly agreed assuming that you were distracted, wanting to get some fresh air after being confined in the Avengers Tower for too long.
It would definitely make him feel out of place if he were to be put into a crowd he did not belong, he thinks. You were just an average mortal who surprisingly captured his attention one day.
His old-fashioned self recalls your first meeting not so long as the season of winter had began.
He was carrying his sketch pad with him along with a newspaper for the day, stopping by to get a cup of coffee where he regularly comes so. It was just unfortunate that the place was crowded that day and you had nowhere to sit. But lucky enough Steve had a vacant seat just across from him whereas you kindly received his offer.
Moreover, both of you talked so casually as if you had been long-termed friends who had not seen each other for a while. The conversation was smooth and delightful for both parties, and it was not unexpected when he had – or attempted, rather – to ask you out for date.
“I see you’re taking this as a first date?” You questioned, taking humor into your tone.
As naive Steve Rogers was around women, the tone of the conversation has shifted to becoming awkward prior to a really good topic about art. “I mean, yeah, but if you didn’t like it– or if it, uh, seemed weird then– I was just trying to sound cool.”
“I was joking. It’s fine, I would love to.” The moment you answered and smiled, he had given you, and himself, a second to realize if this was actually happening.
You did not walk out from him nor did you slap either of his cheeks. Rather, you stayed right at the seat he had invited you in and the only difference was that you had a wider smile than before.
That was when he figured that he was in love with you. Literally on that moment during the start of December.
Ironically now that it was close to summer – the start of June – it was then as he started to feel cold. Instead from snow falling from the sky and the ice warming up the ground, however, it came from you and your attitude.
You had broken up with him during that walk in Central Park.
“I just think we aren’t meant to be together, Steve.” Those words repeated around his brain for days.
Steve did beg for you to stay. He had not felt this welcomed ever since he had woken up from the ice. The home between your arms was always something he was expecting after an exhausting mission.
No one had ever shown him understanding like you did. That was why it confused him greatly after you had said you were not meant for each other. How were you to say such?
“Can’t you see? You’re an amazing Super Soldier with friends who has plans on saving the world. I’m just someone who works from nine to five at a job I’m growing tired of.”
He just could not understand where you were coming from. Everything you were telling him was a blur and he found none of it useful on answering the questions in his head.
It saddened him that you were belittling yourself too. You could not see yourself like how he does.
“I know you love me, and I love you too… “
There was a pause after it. Steve was not sure if you were going to say something more out of it, but his emotions got the better of him, “Then why do you have to do this?”
“I need to work on my insecurities–”
“We can work on it together. You’ve been patient with me throughout my missions, I promise I’ll do the same with you.” He was close to kneeling down but without the intention of proposing with a diamond ring, only wanting you to stay for him.
“It’s not like that. It’s not the easy.”
“But it’s surely easier for you to break up with me and leave this all behind?”
“No, I told you it’s not like that!”
He had been fighting the vulnerability that was growing in him. Both of you remained relentless expressions that did not help to ease the situation. There was assumptions made out of it, most likely, but the main focus was what both of you were saying to each other.
“I just need you to understand, Steve, please.”
That was the moment he realized he should not oppose to you and your decisions.
What he could only think was that you understood him in ways that he had not thought yet needed. You were there for him and provided him with the best decisions you could offer. He intended to do the same.
But Steve was not doing the same – rather should not be. He was making something out of impossibilities, which was why he could not see it. On the contrary, he did not know what to do and so he just followed what his heart and instincts lead him to do so.
And like always, you offered the best solution and that was for him understand – for the betterment of you, and your relationship.
He does not hesitate on not chasing after you once you had given him a final kiss on the cheek and then turned away. He just stares at the back of your shirt with misery upon his face, seeing as your figure becomes smaller and smaller from a distance and then disappearing from his sight.
Steve trusts you. It was the right thing to do.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾༓･*˚⁺‧͙‧⁺˚*･༓☾༓･*˚⁺‧͙
It was winter again. Without you around Steve’s arms this time though.
You watched the snow start falling at the other side of your window. It had created a blur around the glass of it, but you could honestly make up the white covered pavement and houses. It was your view for these lonely seven months, how could you start forgetting it now.
The dining table that was set in front gave you the chance to sit, drink, and view. You guessed it was just you and your hot cup of chocolate this month.
Well, it was you were expecting for the rest of the cold, winter month.
You watched as the sun had started to set from the already gloomy gray colored sky. It turned into a dark shade further and the only thought it your head was for another day to come.
Both your productive and unproductive days were well beyond acknowledged. Generally, you have accomplished a lot of things all the while moving on from your ex-boyfriend, who was also Captain America.
You have gotten into a new line of work, something you were more favorable of, which was huge considering that it was not even in the top things to do in the list you mentally prepared in the past.
Another thing was that you have also acquire a new set of skills. Learning different hobbies through art and music was one of the obvious ways to distract yourself from something lingering around your mind – as told by the results that showed up in your search engine.
Friends were also something that surrounded you with more optimism that you asked for. Taking a break from interacting with superheroes and gods was expectedly relieving. Those were not your crowd and you swore you spent so much time trying to adjust, which had never been enough.
Nonetheless there were more things you improved at to the point where you could not keep track of, or chose not to – you were not really sure.
There was a quarter way left of your dark chocolate drink in your mug. The steam blowing from it had died out long ago. The coldness was starting to get a hold of it, though you let it, while becoming disconnected from your thoughts and stared blankly.
The background nose of the television reaches from the living room which was a few feet away from where you were at. You were not sure if the news was playing or just some random commercial; you did not care.
This was how most of your nights turn out. Even so when your doorbell had echoed through your house, you were expecting the friendly old woman from next door was stopping by again.
Your legs unhurriedly walked to the door. Though as you reached around the knob to unlock it, you changed the pout on your face to something more presentable and friendly.
“I appreciate the gesture Mrs. Jones but–” You already raised a hand in front as this might have been the tenth time she had invited you this week to her Christmas Ever celebration. And it was a Tuesday.
But another person had appeared right in front of you. Someone you were not expecting – but had secretly prayed for. “Oh, Steve.” There was not a hint of disgust or dread in your voice, it was just more of a calm wave of shock.
Steve had his golden hair neatly brushed back, seeing as it also grew longer. He was wearing a long brown coat and a scarf had wrapped around his neck. The gift wrapped present he was holding in front of him drew the most attention at first glance, but you tried to be unassuming that it was for you.
You just took silent yet deep breaths while either of you waited for an ice breaker.
“I’m so glad to see you,” Steve instantly sets off.
“Thank you. It has been a while, right?” You tried to embrace this as maturely as possible.
You were a complete mess and you did not want anyone to find out your state of mind, let alone him. You could not acknowledge the change in yourself – which you had promised a few months ago – even after you broke up with him, and it would feel like a kick in the stomach if he finds out that you were wrong.
“It has and I’m so glad I got to see your pretty face again,” he says.
“Did you come here alone?”
“Yeah, it was a long hour drive, but I survived.” He chuckles while still standing at the other side of the threshold.
For a moment you felt all the guilt come crashing down at once, again. It was like all of those memories and feelings were just bottled up, never leaving you, and now had been broken and released. You tried to stay strong though, you had to be.
And with that, you were not sure if inviting Steve inside your house was the mature decision. “Sorry, you must be getting cold. I think you should come inside.”
Steve gladly accepted for invite and proceeded inside. He does not hesitate on removing his coat and hanging it as he stops at the doorway, revealing the black sweater he has worn underneath.
You did not know what to do or say. This was so sudden and you were not prepared mentally, and physically.
However, you proceeded to the dining you where you were having a moment prior to this and Steve followed after. You swept the barely filled mug from the table and placed it in the sink. “Do you want coffee?”
He nods which promptly has you making a cup for both of you. You could not feel your stomach build up despite drinking chocolate from earlier.
From the corner of your eye you see him take a seat, and eventually you followed. Two cups occupy for each of your hand as you bring them to the dining table still freshly brewed and steaming.
You take the seat across from him and you internally do not feel any regret of having to face the blue-eyed Super Soldier closely upfront again. He glances at the drink you made shortly as you extended your arm for him, but his gaze returns back to yours.
It made your skin crawl. The combination of his stare and the cold air around the room, the silence was deafening but you were so scared to speak with the chances of saying something you might not take back.
“How are you, darling?” It was such a bittersweet nostalgia to hear that.
You intend on biting your tongue as a way to hold back the tears that started to form around the corner of your eyes. Your nose was lightly twitching as you were holding back any tear that could possibly escape.
The obvious clench on either sides of your jaw probably gave Steve a hint on what he was dealing with right now.
“I-I’m good,” you falter.
“How are you, really?” His expression remained the same. He did not raise his voice nor did he sound any more threatening.
On the other hand, you were at the edge of breaking down. You probably had blinked more times than your normally would, and you convinced yourself it was just the dirt that got through.
“I miss you,” Steve sighs, “come back to me.”
“Steve,” your voice was inconsistent just by calling his name out. It was a very weak attempt and you wished you just stayed silent, “We were bound to break up.”
Rather, you knew you were bound to break up. Seems like he’s still in denial of everything.
“No. I don’t believe it.” He shakes his head in pure disbelief, “For months I tried to understand and move on, but you never left my mind… You have always been stuck in my mind and I won’t believe it when you say you haven’t felt the same.”
“I really d-don’t–”
“Bullshit!” His voice startles you, making you bounce from your seat and lean back with wide eyes. You bit your lip in fear of making him angry. “Look, I didn’t mean to– I’m sorry I raised my voice.”
That moment made you remember more of the memories in the past. When you started to grow out of fear instead of pure love for Steve Rogers.
Instead of letting yourself shrink into your seat, your arms pushed against the edge of the table which allowed you to be up on your feet. You stood and walked over to the countertop to distance yourself a few more feet away from your ex-boyfriend.
Steve had looked at you with his mouth slightly agape, following your figure as you walked away further from him.
Every part from your waist and below had been covered as you stood behind the countertop. You turned around as your lower back pressed against the edge of the sink, getting to look at him again. This time, however, felt more relieving when you felt claustrophobic with his face near yours.
“Baby, I said I’m sorry.”
“Steve,” you coldly say, “I think it’s time for you to go.”
He had a look of disbelief upon his face, “You haven’t even opened the present I got for you.”
“We already had talked and seen each other tonight, I think that’s enough for tonight, or even for the next year.”
You were walking on thin ice.
You were convinced that you had forgotten on how to deal with him in times like this, but you also pondered if you have ever really known how to dealt with it.
“What are you saying, we barely even talked!”
Steve had followed your footsteps, pushing against the table and walking over you. It happened within seconds which gave barely enough time for you to process that he was nearing to you again.
“Steve, please!” You squeal.
He reached for both of your hands, intertwining his fingers with yours. You tried to avoid from looking at him, but he nearly follows the direction of your head until you had no choice but to get tired.
“Can’t you see, it’s you who I love. It will always be you and nothing can change that.” The grip of his fingers were starting to tighten around yours and you were not sure if he was aware of it.
“M-my hands. It hurts.”
He does not even acknowledge your pain, “Just tell me you love me and we can go back to the way we started.”
“Ouch,” you cry. You swore the bones in your hand were so close to breaking.
If it were not for the tears starting to stream down your cheeks, Steve probably would not have let them go. Your fingers were most likely swelling and shaking. Though, before you could even create a sigh of relief from the pain, you felt a pair of lips force over yours.
There was not even a second that had passed. Steve’s strength as quick and strong which greatly opposed to yours.
His hands might have spared the bones of your fingers from cracking, but he was definitely not going to let your jaw go. Both his palms smushed against either sides of it, preventing any movement which had forced you to accept the situation.
You knew this situation before, you just cannot surpass his strength. You could not fight or push him away or else he was just going to force himself more to you.
Just as you thought that your heart beat was already going to escape from your chest out of nervousness earlier, it had increased tenfold. You can only wonder what was going through Steve’s mind.
“Just relax, you’ll be able to enjoy it more,” Steve says in between kisses and before having to shove his tongue further past your lips.
Your hands were in between your bodies, trying to push his torso away using both your palms which predictably did not help at all. Slowly, your energy wears down further as you irrationally tried to keep him away from you.
“I know you want it,” he whispers, “just give in.”
The moment was was terrifying as it gets. As if on cue, your knees began to cave in and soon your hands no longer tried to resist against his body. Undoubtedly, you still did not return the favor of kissing him back but he did not seem to mind.
He slightly bends over to be able to lean his head more as he continues to suck against your bottom lip with emotions full of desire. Eventually it descends to your chin and then your lower jaw, aiming for more sensitive places despite his hands remaining at the same place on either sides of your face.
When he does try to suck the skin between the area of your neck and collarbones, you let out a small instinctive squeal. He was not gentle with his actions, making sure both of you were clearly feeling the sensation of him giving and you receiving; and after that reaction from you, he was certain that you were aware too.
“Fuck, I expected more than that, baby,” he mumbles and then continuing to draw on your skin as if it was a feast.
You could not keep count on how many times he tried to leave marks on you right now. What you were sure, though, was that tomorrow would be a morning full of regrets when looking in the mirror.
Your hands remained still from before, not knowing where to go and confused about all your emotions right now. However, you felt Steve release his grip around your face, moving down to reach your hands to guide them, position them into an embrace around his figure.
Afterwards, he bends further to reach the back of your thighs. It allowed him to hoist you up the marble countertop, setting you down with your back flat facing the surface.
He helped himself in welcoming his body between your legs as he pulled back, finally giving an end to his enjoyment on marking you. A quick smirk was seen within his face, as he comprehends that you were now under his control just as he looked forward to. It died down and returned back to the intimidating glare that set panic throughout your system earlier.
“Oh god, you still look so beautiful.”
With one hand, he was able to seize around both of your wrists which prevented you from making any movements still. And so you let him continue what he intends to, this time undoing your already loose sweatpants.
Steve could not be more than lucky enough for this moment. He thinks that he had waited long enough and that this exact time was perfect, just as he had pictured during the drive to your house.
When he successfully discards every garment from your waist and below, he takes a good view of what he had missed during these past seven months. Your were shamefully half naked and wet beneath him.
“Has anyone touched you while I wasn’t around?” He questions as his fingertips slowly drag against the entrance of your cunt.
You could feel yourself dripping just by his touch and you were embarrassed to even look at him.
“I asked you a question, sweetie, you better answer me.”
As much as you tried to hold back, he presses his thumb against your clit knowingly well how easily sensitive you were at that spot. “N-no!”
You repeated your answer after a deep exhale, “No one has touched me.”
He was in awe with your answer, ignoring the fact that you were holding on to your dear life out of fear. “Did you expect me to find you after? Still waiting for my cock for all these months?”
You whine, not knowing what emotion it had been drawn out from. The way his voice finds home to you just lures you in again, and the fact that he was saying those lewd things slowly broke down your walls. You did not know the answer to it yourself – rather you feared to know the truth.
Steve leans over, close to your ear and whispers, “I’ll be good to you since you’ve been a good girl to me, darling.” Before you know it, he leaves a kiss on the top of your head and pulls back.
He undoes the buckle around his waist and then his pants before letting it fall to the ground. Swiftly, he still uses one hand to pull your body close to him, feeling the prominent erection that had formed under his boxers against your pussy. “This is all yours.”
He playfully grinds against you, intensely feeling him more, making you moan and somewhat arch the back of your neck. And hell did the man enjoy was he was doing to you.
You closed your eyes shut and bit down onto your lip, trying not to expecting more as it would just mean that you were caving in to him.
Eventually with all the teasing, Steve does draws his dick out. The warmth of his skin was all too different from a piece of fabric. It felt too fucking good.
He does not insert it so easily though. Instead, he continues on to adore your whining and needy expression beneath him, rubbing the tip of his cock first and then followed by the rest. He slowly thrusts into the air while pressing against the entrance of your cunt, making sure it gets coated thoroughly while you recalled how large he was.
“Feel good, right?” He brags
“Steve, please,” you cry.
It does not take him merely once though before he finally got to push the tip inside you. But you were thankful for the heavens you did not have to suffer more than you already were.
Your lower abdomen slightly cramps, adjusting to his size again like you remembered from before. It felt both familiar and unfamiliar to have him inside you again, nonetheless, your body was reacting to it very positively.
“You’re so tight,” he grunts. “Guess you really weren’t fucking anyone else while I was gone.”
Technically he was not gone. Both of you were broken up. But your mind could not honestly rationalize that well right now.
Your eyelids were just feeling heavy and you were letting him pound into you as he pleases. There was not an ounce of energy in you that still wanted to fight back or resist, it was too tiring and too good.
When Steve realizes so, he releases the grasp around your wrists, knowing that you were not escaping any time soon. He’s definitely going to have fun with you now, even so determined for you to enjoy as well. “Oh god, did I miss fucking your pussy.”
He takes slow yet deep thrusts, making sure it reaches all the way until his cock completely disappears and reappears from his sight. When he presses a palm against the area just a few inches below your lower abdomen, he know you would start to lose it.
It was just the perfect spot, that took him weeks to master, just to launch you into a wave of euphoria. Though you were only letting out moans and cries for him, he could tell how much you were enjoying it by how your walls tighten around him.
Somehow it steadily releases the brute inside of him, making him thrust harden and faster every time he feels you squeeze. It turned him on every time and there was no stopping him, especially now.
The kitchen shamefully echoes the sloppy thrusts he was doing with you. The lewd noises were just music to his ears.
Steve was disappointed that you were weary at the moment. You would have loved this great fuck.
He could not even see how ruffled his hair was already. Sweat was rolling down his forehead yet he could not care less. All he was fixated on was your face and your pussy.
He looked at your figure with passion, making an illusion of you bouncing against him as if you were the one fucking and riding his dick.
Steve was shameless. There was a lustful rage inside of him that had been longing for this. Was he finally glad that this moment had come.
“You’re fucking mine,” he groans with one trust. “Mine.”
“Gonna fill you up with my cum.”
By some time could feel his orgasm build up and close to a release. He made it through strong and profound thrusts, just to savor what he had right now. “We were supposed to celebrate our first anniversary this month, but don’t worry,”
He groans along with another trust, “I made the mistake of letting you go the first time.”
With one final thrust, he goes as deep as he can to make sure nothing from his cum spills out from you,
“I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
hope you enjoyed, feedbacks are greatly appreciated (please)!
You loved your dog, you golden retriever named Blue but sometimes you could swear that he was a shit just for the hell of it. He’s been driving you absolutely up the wall today. First he’d woken you up far too early, on a weekend acceptable get up time was after 9:30 but apparently Blue had decided that 8:15 was late enough and you’d woken to a slobbery lick to your face. Honestly, pretty gross.
Then he’d barked through almost your entire shower, which was rude but not as rude as him trying to actually get in the shower with you.
Then he’d wanted to play, you’re pretty sure that he took out every single toy in his toy basket and dropped them at your feet while you tried to make breakfast. You’d tripped over them more than once and stubbed a toe on one of the bones.
“Okay. Oh my god you adorable pain in the ass. Let’s go to the dog park.” You tell him and he bounds to his leash. You tug your shoes on then put on his harness and clip the leash to it. Then it’s off to the dog park you go, Blue doesn’t pull too much just enough where you walk at almost a jog to get you to the dog park.
Once you’re inside the fenced area you let him off the leash and he takes off running. You follow at a slower pace but Blue always comes back to check in with you before running off again.
At one point Blue finds another golden retriever and come sprinting over to you barking happily. The other dog flings themself against your legs nearly toppling you to the ground. You laugh as you bury your fingers in their fur.
“Lib! I’m so sorry.” A male voice calls, you look up and are astounded by the man in front of you. He’s gotta be a model or something, sandy blonde hair, bright blue eyes, a blue workout shirt that clings to his torso like a second skin and a pair of dark blue workout pants.
“It’s fine.” You tell him with a smile, “what’s their name?”
“Steve.” He says and you’re confused, you could’ve sworn he called the dog Lib.
“How old is he?”
“What?”
“Your dog.” You say as you watch the two chase each other around.
“She, Libby is 3.”
“Oh sorry, I thought you said your dog’s name was Steve.”
“Oh. Um no I’m Steve.” He says and you glance up at him with a smile, his ears are turning red and god it’s adorable. You introduce yourself,
“And that is Blue.” You tell him, “He’s also 3. He just turned 3 last week.”
“No way,” Steve sounds surprised, “So did Libby. On Tuesday.”
“What? Blue too! Could they be from the same litter?”
“Totally possible, I got her from Nebula.”
“Me too!” You’re stunned, you’ve just found Blue’s sister and her super hot dad. “No wonder they get along so well.”
“We should trade numbers. So we can meet up here and let them play more often. If you’re comfortable with that.” He adds quickly.
“That would be great.” You tell him before digging your phone out of your pocket. You unlock it and pass it to him as he passes you his phone then you type in your name and number before handing it back.
You let Blue and Libby play for over an hour before you say goodbye to Steve and head home.
He texts you on Thursday.
You wanna meet up at the dog park this weekend?
You check your calendar before texting back what time you’re able to and he sends back a thumbs up emoji.
While the dogs play you talk, you get to know him and fall hard. You’ve been meeting for over two months when you get caught in a storm. You invite Steve back to your house since you’re closer and when you get back you let both dogs into the house first. Thankfully you’d closed the mud room door so when they both shake it’s not the worst thing in the world.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Steve says and you laugh.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got some towels and we can towel them down,” you glance up at him and see he’s drenched so you know you probably are too. “Then we can towel us down.”
“Sounds good.” He gives you a smile and you grab a couple of your dog towels, you toss him one and start rubbing down Blue. You finish by wiping his paws and then throw the towel into the sink before grabbing towels for you and Steve.
“Thanks Darlin’.” He says with a smile and your heart stops with the way Darlin’ rolled off his tongue. You didn’t know one word would completely floor you.
“Do you want me to see if I have anything to change into? I’m gonna change.”
“Maybe just a shirt?”
“Sure, I should have a sweatshirt or something, just toss your stuff into the dryer.” You tell him opening the door, “make yourself comfortable.” You tell him as you make your way through the house to your room. You change then dig in your closet for something you think will fit Steve. You find one of your dad’s sweatshirts that you’d stolen years ago and figure it’ll do fine. When you go back out into the main part of your house you freeze, god he’s cut like a fucking Greek god.
“I think this should fit.” You tell him hanging him the sweatshirt before throwing your own wet clothes into the dryer with his and turning it on.
When you turn around you catch Steve staring at you. You can feel your heart pounding as he moves slowly toward you.
“Darlin’ can I kiss you?” He whispers when he’s only a step away, you nod. His lips descend on yours as his fingers delve into your wet hair. It’s exactly what you’d hoped it would be, he sends goosebumps along your flesh and you moan softly into the kiss giving him access to your mouth.
The bark causes you to rip away from him. Both Libby and Blue are staring at you with wagging tails and tongues hanging out of their mouths.
“Excuse you.” Steve says not letting you go, “but we’re a bit busy here. Go play.” Neither dog moves and you laugh softly into his chest.
“A plus listeners we’ve got here.” You laugh, “Blue, go away.” You tell him and with a huff he turns and goes to his bed.
“That’s handy.” Steve says before snapping and pointing from Libby to the bed where Blue is. She too huffs and makes her way over to the bed and curls up with Blue.
Summary:You hadn’t known what happened. One moment, you were running for your life. The next moment, you were falling from the sky and your only hope was calling the one number you had to save you. You were in a universe where the Avengers existed and you had no idea what to do. You fight between doing what’s right and what feels right. Do you return to your own universe or do you stay with the people you love?
[Set after AoU and canon divergence after.]
Warnings:18+. polyamorous relationships. F/M, F/F, F/F/F, F/M/M. Eventual smut. Explicit Sexual Content. Canon-level violence. sugaring relationship. Angst. Explore themes of domestic violence and family issues. Domestic fluff. Slow Burn.
Note:Yeah, I said reader gets with everyone. What about it? LOL This is my self-indulgent fic. Therefore, sporadic updates but we’re here for the fun! Chapters with sexual content will be marked with a *. There are no set amount of chapters, so I will add as I go :)
Summary:You patch things up with Steve, but will Laurie take you back?
Word Count: 1300
Warnings:Language, fluff, angst.
A/N:Well, this is not my best, but I still like this one. Hope you guys do too! Also, not my gif. Credit to the owner. You know the drill.
He answered after one ring. “Hello?” God, you missed his voice.
“Steve,” you breathed, tears still streaming down your face. It was like a dam had broken and now your eyes were flooded. Your voice was shaking, and you had to speak quietly so you wouldn’t cry anymore. “It’s me.”
It was quiet on his end for a moment or two, and then you heard him sigh. Was he relieved? “Thank God.” He said breathlessly, and you could almost picture him running his hands through his hair.
“And you’re sure?” Steve asked for about the thousandth time.
“Yes,” You insisted, grabbing his hands. You stood in your living room, by the front door. As soon as Steve had walked in you had rushed over to him. “Yes, I’m sure. It’ll be hard, but I’d rather see you a little bit at a time then not at all.” You laced your fingers together with his.
He grinned slowly, his eyes nearly sparkling as he looked down at you. You could almost hear the ocean when you looked in his eyes. “Okay?” you said after he didn’t say anything, squeezing his hands gently to make sure he was still alive.
“Okay,” he chuckled, bending down slightly to kiss you. You helped him fill the space by standing just slightly on your toes, your lips meeting in the middle. God, I missed this, you thought, moving your lips against his. Soon his hands let go of yours and traveled to your waist, pulling you closer. You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, not opening your eyes or breaking the connection between him for one second. He lifted you up off the ground and spun you around for a second, causing you to giggle into his mouth.
Finally he set you down, and you parted, grinning at him with slightly flushed cheeks. “I missed you so much,” you said, pulling him more into your apartment.
“I missed you too, doll,” he replied, chuckling. “I thought about coming into the store a few times, and buying a phone case again. But I figured you would need your space.”
You smiled as you remembered the first time you had met him. You just knew him as Captain America then, this man who fought to protect the world and had been frozen for like, a hundred years (not a hundred, but you didn’t know the exact number). But now, you knew him as Steve, this kind, wonderful, amazing man who swept you off your feet and made you feel so happy, and safe, and invincible.
You spent the night holed up in your apartment with Steve, catching up on the last month you’d missed with him. He told you what he could about all the missions he’d been on, and shared a few stories of being recognized in public. You told him about your fight with Laurie, and how you felt so guilty about leaving things the way they were with her.
“Well, then, you have to talk to her,” Steve said. You were sitting on the couch with him now, talking. He reached over and brushed your hair behind your ears. “You guys have been friends too long just to let it fizzle out like that.”
You thought it was sweet how much he cared, and moved so that you weren’t facing him anymore; instead, your back was pressed against his chest, legs extending across the couch. He pressed a kiss against the top of your head and you could feel his chest rising and falling- steady and sure.
“You’re probably right,” you sighed, closing your eyes. He ran his fingers through your hair. “Tomorrow,” you promised, letting out a yawn. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”
You stood in front of Laurie’s apartment, an olive branch in hand. Not an actual olive branch, but a peace offering of sorts. It was a plastic bag full of Laurie’s favorite candy and makeup from work. You glanced down at your phone. A text from Steve helped you work up the courage to knock.
You can do this, doll. Just talk to her.
-Steve
You took in a deep breath, and, with your free hand, knocked on the door.
After a few moments, Laurie answered. She frowned when she saw it was you, and just stood there. She didn’t say anything, just stared at you with her arms crossed over her chest. You swallowed the lump in your throat.
“I, uh, I brought you this,” you said, handing her the bag. She glanced down in to it and, after moments of consideration, allowed you to come inside.
“I’m sorry I was such an asshole,” you spoke again, biting your lip. “I shouldn’t have taken all my frustrations with Steve out on you, and I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was being a bad friend, and you were being a good friend by calling me out on my bullshit.”
You sighed. You’d said your piece, and now all you had to do was wait for Laurie to forgive you… or decide she never wanted to see you again.
After minutes- literally, minutes- of agonizing silence, Laurie rolled her eyes. “You swear you’re done acting like a lunatic?” she asked, looking at you.
“Yes,” you said, smiling softly. “Yes. Lunacy over. They’ve released me from the asylum.”
“Well, then, get over here, you dumb-ass,” Laurie said, opening her arms. You stepped forward and hugged your best friend, feeling all the pieces finally fall into place.
After the hug, you and Laurie spent the evening watching your favorite movies, quoting the lines you knew so well. She ordered Thai food and pizza and you pigged out with her on food you didn’t need, but damn did it taste good. You split a bottle of wine with her and sang stupid songs at the top of your lungs, and you were so happy to have your best friend back.
The next day, you met with Steve at the grocery store. He only had an hour to spare today to see you, and you had to go shopping for the week before you went to work. You spotted the faded blue baseball cap and knew it was him.
Holding the basket in one hand and Steve’s hand in the other, the two of you walked down the aisles and you occasionally would toss something in the basket. You held a conversation with your boyfriend, talking to him about stuff that didn’t really matter. Then finally, as you approached the produce section, he brought up something that did matter.
“So, Stark- Tony, I mean - is hosting this big, stupid party to celebrate the Avengers being together for three years,” he said, and you chuckled to yourself. “What?” He asked, nudging you with his shoulder.
“That’s so sweet,” you said, grabbing an apple and putting it in the basket. “It’s like an anniversary party. An Aveng-iversary.” You laughed, because you thought you were hilarious.
Steve didn’t. He just shook his head and rolled his eyes. “You are insane,” he said, scoffing at you lightly. “But as I was saying, he’s having this big party, and he told us we could invite whoever we want. And I want you.” He stopped, then scrunched his face slightly. “To be there. I want you to come with me. It’s next Saturday. Can you make it?”
You thought of the work schedule and after a moment or two, nodded. “Yeah, I can make it,” You said, grinning.
“Good,” He said, kissing the side of your head. “Cause my coworkers can’t wait to meet you.”
“Coworkers?” You scoffed. “You mean, the rest of the Avengers?”
Steve nodded, and it dawned on you. A night meeting the rest of the Avengers? Holy shit. You were in trouble.
Summary:Joining the Avengers wasn’t on your plans. Not until Steve asked you to help his best friend. Bucky was Bucky, but the Winter Soldier still came from time ti time, bringing with him chaos and destruction. And you was supposed to keep that side of him away… But what happens when both Bucky and the Winter Soldier start to enjoy your company more than anyone else? Should you turn your back on the Soldier, ignore his own fears and traumas? That’s exactly what everyone wants. But you were never known for following orders…
×
“Stark called me again.” You say, a cup of tea still half full and warm in your hands. “Guess why.”
“Recruitment.” Steve sighs, putting the empty bowl of cereal on the coffee table next to his feet.
“Yup. He came with the ‘hello, how are you? How’s your job, how’s your paycheck, blah blah blah, wanna join us?’ ” Rolling your eyes, you pull your legs over, folding them under you. “Same thing as always.”
“He cares, (Y/N),” Steve says, turning the TV volume down. “On his own way, but he cares… But… Actually, (Y/N), I’ve been wanting to ask you to accept Stark’s for a different reason.”
Pinching your eyebrows together, you move to the kitchen island, sitting on the stool. “Different reason?”
“Yeah.” He heavily sighs, glancing at you before focusing on the dishes again. “You know we’re having problems with Bucky. Well… With his other side.”
“Wait.” You nervously chuckle. “You want to set me up with Barnes?” Steve’s friendship with Bucky is well known to you. They’re like brothers, and you, having the same feeling towards Steve, have the exact idea how that must feel. If it was Steve suffering from this, you’d be heartbroken. “I don’t see how I could be of any help.”
“It wasn’t my idea, not originally. The Hulk only calmed down after Banner got closer to Nat.”
“So you are trying to set me up with Barnes.” You don’t have much contact with him. You met him twice when Steve managed to make him go out and you were there too. But that was it.
“I trust you. And Bucky knows I trust you. I just think having someone by his side could help somehow.”
“Doesn’t he have the other Avengers?”
“He feels guilty because of what The Winter Soldier did to them. They’re there to help, of course, but he holds back, isolates himself. Not as much as before, but still.”
“And you think I could help him how?” Shrugging your shoulders, you wonder if you could do it. But that would also mean finally joining the Avengers. So there’s that.
“If you manage to befriend him, I think it would be enough.”
“You think tiny, little me will be enough to keep the Winter Soldier away.”
×
“What’s up, Barnes?” You ask, sitting next to him, a leg on each side of the bench as you sit sideways, facing him. “I heard the punchbag crying, you should give it a break.”
Bucky smiles a little before looking at you. “Hello, miss–”
“(Y/N).” You cut him off, pointing your bottle at him. “Call me (Y/N).”
“Call me Bucky.” He says, nodding his head. “So Steve managed to finally convince you to join the Avengers.”
“He did. But only because I was given a special mission.” Nobody intended on keeping this a secret. Bucky needs to know you care, you and Steve. “I’m here to help you.”
He furrows his eyebrows, shrugging his shoulders. “Help me? How so?”
“I–”
“Tell me it’s not about the other guy, (Y/N).” He moves to stand up, but you hold his arm, keeping him from going anywhere. “This is dangerous. I can’t believe Steve brought you into this.”
“Steve is worried about you. And it’s not like I’ll… Do something. I’m just here to… Offer you my friendship and stand by you, no matter what.” Bucky sighs, shaking his head. But he sits down again, looking at the floor. “And well, I’m with the Avengers now. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Just stay away when… He… Comes out.” Bucky says in a low, sad voice.
×
“Who are you?”
The voice, low and deep, but at the same time way too loud, breaks the silence and startles you, making your blood run cold for a second. You push the fridge door close in your desperation, eyes quickly moving to the source of the sound. There’s a figure seated on the edge of the table, alone in the dark. The only thing that helps you recognize him is the ray of blueish light that illuminates his shoulder and chest.
“Damn it, Bucky. You scared the hell out of me.” You whisper, a hand on your heart. “What are you doing here in the dark?”
“Who are you?” He asks again, and you just don’t follow.
Squinting your eyes, you tilt your head to the side a little. “Is it a joke? Like a knock-knock joke? Because I don’t get it. You should–”
You’re still speaking when he abruptly stands up, and that’s when it clicks.
Bucky doesn’t speak like this. Bucky doesn’t behave like this. Bucky doesn’t walk up to you like he’s ready to take you down.
“W-wait.” You mutter, raising a hand at him. As if it could stop him. Your eyes fall on the knife holder, but since your fighting reflexes weren’t mastered yet, he moves at the same time you do, blocking your way.
“I won’t ask a third time,” Bucky says, and the lower tone of his voice scares you. But it’s even worse when he takes a knife.
“Shit.” You mumble, slowly moving backward. Then it happens suddenly. He catches up to you, violently pushing you against the wall. A yelp leaves your lips when his metal arm lies on your chest, metal hand with a firm grip of your shoulder as his forearm presses your collarbones. It feels like he’s a rock that fell on you, making it impossible to move. “Bucky, please–”
“I’m not Bucky.” He barks, and you feel the blade against your side, right on your ribs.
“No, you’re not.” You tell him, talking fast. “You’re the Soldier.” To that, he tilts his head to the side a little, his eyes set on yours as the man towers over you. “And I swear I mean no harm.” Grinding your teeth at the pain, you wonder if he could break your collarbone or dislocate your shoulder. But you try to remain calm, slowly raising both your hands, showing him you have no gun, no weapon, nothing. “Soldiers don’t kill unarmed, defenseless women.”
“I do if I’m given the order.”
Breathing deeply, you weakly nod. “But you have no orders.” A red, floating circle gets your attention, and your eyes move from Bucky to the rectangular screen on the wall. Tony’s AI is watching. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. isolate the kitchen. Security protocol number seven.”
“Are you sure, miss (Y/N)?” He asks.
“Yes, I am.” You assure him, and you only listen as the metal doors are closed, locking you and the Winter Soldier alone.
“What are you doing?” He asks in a low voice, stepping closer to you until his whole body is pushing you against the wall, eyes never leaving yours. As if you’re some imminent threat that he needs to be aware of at all times.
Summary:Joining the Avengers wasn’t on your plans. Not until Steve asked you to help his best friend. Bucky was Bucky, but the Winter Soldier still came from time ti time, bringing with him chaos and destruction. And you was supposed to keep that side of him away… But what happens when both Bucky and the Winter Soldier start to enjoy your company more than anyone else? Should you turn your back on the Soldier, ignore his own fears and traumas? That’s exactly what everyone wants. But you were never known for following orders…
×
“Stark called me again.” You say, a cup of tea still half full and warm in your hands. “Guess why.”
“Recruitment.” Steve sighs, putting the empty bowl of cereal on the coffee table next to his feet.
“Yup. He came with the ‘hello, how are you? How’s your job, how’s your paycheck, blah blah blah, wanna join us?’ ” Rolling your eyes, you pull your legs over, folding them under you. “Same thing as always.”
“He cares, (Y/N),” Steve says, turning the TV volume down. “On his own way, but he cares… But… Actually, (Y/N), I’ve been wanting to ask you to accept Stark’s for a different reason.”
Pinching your eyebrows together, you move to the kitchen island, sitting on the stool. “Different reason?”
“Yeah.” He heavily sighs, glancing at you before focusing on the dishes again. “You know we’re having problems with Bucky. Well… With his other side.”
“Wait.” You nervously chuckle. “You want to set me up with Barnes?” Steve’s friendship with Bucky is well known to you. They’re like brothers, and you, having the same feeling towards Steve, have the exact idea how that must feel. If it was Steve suffering from this, you’d be heartbroken. “I don’t see how I could be of any help.”
“It wasn’t my idea, not originally. The Hulk only calmed down after Banner got closer to Nat.”
“So you are trying to set me up with Barnes.” You don’t have much contact with him. You met him twice when Steve managed to make him go out and you were there too. But that was it.
“I trust you. And Bucky knows I trust you. I just think having someone by his side could help somehow.”
“Doesn’t he have the other Avengers?”
“He feels guilty because of what The Winter Soldier did to them. They’re there to help, of course, but he holds back, isolates himself. Not as much as before, but still.”
“And you think I could help him how?” Shrugging your shoulders, you wonder if you could do it. But that would also mean finally joining the Avengers. So there’s that.
“If you manage to befriend him, I think it would be enough.”
“You think tiny, little me will be enough to keep the Winter Soldier away.”
×
“What’s up, Barnes?” You ask, sitting next to him, a leg on each side of the bench as you sit sideways, facing him. “I heard the punchbag crying, you should give it a break.”
Bucky smiles a little before looking at you. “Hello, miss–”
“(Y/N).” You cut him off, pointing your bottle at him. “Call me (Y/N).”
“Call me Bucky.” He says, nodding his head. “So Steve managed to finally convince you to join the Avengers.”
“He did. But only because I was given a special mission.” Nobody intended on keeping this a secret. Bucky needs to know you care, you and Steve. “I’m here to help you.”
He furrows his eyebrows, shrugging his shoulders. “Help me? How so?”
“I–”
“Tell me it’s not about the other guy, (Y/N).” He moves to stand up, but you hold his arm, keeping him from going anywhere. “This is dangerous. I can’t believe Steve brought you into this.”
“Steve is worried about you. And it’s not like I’ll… Do something. I’m just here to… Offer you my friendship and stand by you, no matter what.” Bucky sighs, shaking his head. But he sits down again, looking at the floor. “And well, I’m with the Avengers now. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Just stay away when… He… Comes out.” Bucky says in a low, sad voice.
×
“Who are you?”
The voice, low and deep, but at the same time way too loud, breaks the silence and startles you, making your blood run cold for a second. You push the fridge door close in your desperation, eyes quickly moving to the source of the sound. There’s a figure seated on the edge of the table, alone in the dark. The only thing that helps you recognize him is the ray of blueish light that illuminates his shoulder and chest.
“Damn it, Bucky. You scared the hell out of me.” You whisper, a hand on your heart. “What are you doing here in the dark?”
“Who are you?” He asks again, and you just don’t follow.
Squinting your eyes, you tilt your head to the side a little. “Is it a joke? Like a knock-knock joke? Because I don’t get it. You should–”
You’re still speaking when he abruptly stands up, and that’s when it clicks.
Bucky doesn’t speak like this. Bucky doesn’t behave like this. Bucky doesn’t walk up to you like he’s ready to take you down.
“W-wait.” You mutter, raising a hand at him. As if it could stop him. Your eyes fall on the knife holder, but since your fighting reflexes weren’t mastered yet, he moves at the same time you do, blocking your way.
“I won’t ask a third time,” Bucky says, and the lower tone of his voice scares you. But it’s even worse when he takes a knife.
“Shit.” You mumble, slowly moving backward. Then it happens suddenly. He catches up to you, violently pushing you against the wall. A yelp leaves your lips when his metal arm lies on your chest, metal hand with a firm grip of your shoulder as his forearm presses your collarbones. It feels like he’s a rock that fell on you, making it impossible to move. “Bucky, please–”
“I’m not Bucky.” He barks, and you feel the blade against your side, right on your ribs.
“No, you’re not.” You tell him, talking fast. “You’re the Soldier.” To that, he tilts his head to the side a little, his eyes set on yours as the man towers over you. “And I swear I mean no harm.” Grinding your teeth at the pain, you wonder if he could break your collarbone or dislocate your shoulder. But you try to remain calm, slowly raising both your hands, showing him you have no gun, no weapon, nothing. “Soldiers don’t kill unarmed, defenseless women.”
“I do if I’m given the order.”
Breathing deeply, you weakly nod. “But you have no orders.” A red, floating circle gets your attention, and your eyes move from Bucky to the rectangular screen on the wall. Tony’s AI is watching. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. isolate the kitchen. Security protocol number seven.”
“Are you sure, miss (Y/N)?” He asks.
“Yes, I am.” You assure him, and you only listen as the metal doors are closed, locking you and the Winter Soldier alone.
“What are you doing?” He asks in a low voice, stepping closer to you until his whole body is pushing you against the wall, eyes never leaving yours. As if you’re some imminent threat that he needs to be aware of at all times.
summary: you’re feeling a lil needy and want chris to fuck you but he doesn’t have time between meetings to clean himself up so instead you suggest to thigh ride him
a/n: this was suppose to be a drabble but here we are ♀️
it would be a busy day for chris even during the time of quarantine. he would have zooms to attend for projects that were hopefully being picked back up and discussions with ASP guests to post on the website. and emails, oh so many damn emails. to say the least, chris was still kept busy even being stuck in the house.
the workload for you however wasn’t as much compared to your boyfriends. so you were always left wandering the house, watching netflix, taking naps and etc. but today, you didn’t know what came over you but you were feeling extra needy.
so there you were, wandering downstairs to find chris in his office area, typing away at an email while humming to an 80s song that’s probably from his ‘get shit done’ playlist.
“hi, are you busy?” you asked, wrapping your arms around his neck from behind, nuzzling your nose against his warm skin, pressing a kiss to his pulse point.
“just doin’ some emails before my ASP meeting,” he answered, finishing up the sentence he was on before spinning in his chair to face you with a grin. “watcha need, baby?”
“you,” you smile back, planting yourself on chris’ lap, pressing your lips to his. as you sat down, the oversized sweater hitched up, revealing the baby blue cotton thong that hugged your hips. “i’m really bored.”
“is that so?” he breathed, chuckling quietly, hands gliding up and down your soft thighs, giving them a squeeze. his simple touch setting your skin on fire and your heat drip for his hands to be in other places.
“mhm,” you hum, batting your eyelashes, kissing him again, lips coming to brush at the curve of his ear as your fingers played with the hair that laid neatly on the nape of his neck, whispering, “i wanna be fucked”
chris let out a groan, squeezing your thighs again before a hand moved to the round of your ass, massaging the skin there. “baby girl, you know i gotta look presentable in a bit,” chris sighed, watching your fingers glide up his hard chest to play with his gold necklace always he wore. “in a couple hours, m’kay?”
“a couple hours is toolong,” you pouted. “i’m too horny too wait.”
chris laughed softly, making your cheeks blush. god, he looked so fucking hot right now. if you weren’t riding his cock in the next 5 minutes you thought you’d just throw a tantrum right then and there. even if it meant a punishment, but you also wouldn’t complain about that either.
“stop laughing at my pain, chris. please, i’ll be quick,” you groaned, moving your hands to his belt buckle, the bulge in his tight jeans letting you know your little planned worked. “i just need to cum-“
“i can’t get all sweaty,” he groaned, leaning back in his chair so it tipped back just a little. “i promise the second i’m done i’m all yours.”
“ugh!” you whined, dropping your hands at his belt. looking at chris, you can tell he was really trying to hold himself back from bending you over his desk and fucking you right then and there. but then you got an idea, smirking wide.
chris saw a certain glint in your eye and instantly knew you were thinking nothing good. “oh no, i know that look… what is it?” he sighed, biting back a smile as his fingers toyed at the waistband of your panties. “tell me what your thinking.”
you wanted to squeeze your thighs at chris’ authoritative voice. you were sure your panties were soaked by now. “can i ride your thigh?”
with the look on your face, how could chris not deny you? you were giving him puppy dog eyes, shyly wiggling on his lap in just one of his shirts and a thong, note his favoritethong.
taking a deep breath, chris closed his eyes before finally answering. “yes, but i need you to be good for me the rest of the night, ‘kay?” he sighed, bringing a hand to brush your bottom lip that you kissed lightly.
“of course,” you smiled innocently. “anything for you, daddy.”
“fuck, y/n. just get yourself off already before i change my mind.” chris groaned, giving your ass another squeeze.
“wait,” you held a finger up, opening his spotify and putting the playlist that the two of you made for sexy times that you iconically the ‘baby making playlist’. one of your favorites, the weekend by sza, started playing quietly in the background. “okay, i’m ready now.”
chris rolled his eyes at your extraness, pulling you in for a kiss as you pushed the your thong to the side, rolling your hips to the beat of the song. your wet pussy rubbing up against the smooth black denim of his jeans that he wore.
instantly you moaned against his mouth, building up your rhythm of grinding on him, nails digging into the fabric of his button up. “look at you, making a mess on my jeans because you can’t fucking wait for me,” chris mumbled, squeezing your hips. “my little needy whore”
you whined at chris’ dirty mouth, adding even more pressure to your cunt against his strong thigh. “can - can you touch me? pretty please?” you squeaked, eyes fluttering closed, back arching slightly, holding into his broad shoulders for support.
“use your words, baby, tell me where,” chris whispered, peppering kisses along your jaw, beard running over your skin, your senses beginning to overload at his touch and pleasure that vibrated in you.
“clit. my clit!” you cried, panting softly, the dark spot on his jeans becoming larger and larger with each roll of your hips. the feeling was butter bliss but also a burning sensation at the same time but it was the closest thing you’ll get till you were able to be properly fucked by him.
just because you asked nicely, chris slid his hand into your panties, the pad of two fingers meeting your sensitive nub, rubbing in circular movements. you cried out again in pleasure, your head leaning against his shoulder now as you squeezed your eyes shut.
with chris playing with your clit and the burning feeling of your pussy riding his thigh, you felt yourself inching closer and closer to your high, clenching around nothing. you only wished it was his cock that you were pulsating around. stretching you out in ways no would ever has. but instead there you were getting yourself on chris just to get you all tired and sleepy after cumming.
“your close aren’t you, babe, hm? your pretty little thighs are all shaking.” chris cooed, adding more pressure with each flick of his wrist. “c’mon princess, cum all over thigh like you want to. remember, be a good girl for me.”
“oh god - i -“ you couldn’t even finish your sentence. you were riding his thigh rough and sloppy. you were so close, you could almost feel it.
your body was tense as your nails dug into him, soft mewls and cries coming out of you. chris’ other hand was holding your hip now, guiding your hips to the beat to help you get there.
“that’s it, sweetheart. there you go. cum, pretty girl,” he cooed.
and almost on command, you felt yourself shatter into a million pieces. the sound escaped you and echoed throughout the house was most definitely going to scare the neighbors but you didn’t care.
“shit, you look so beautiful when you come, baby. such a good girl, always listening to daddy.” chris grinned, easing you down gently, kissing your forehead once you fully collapsed on him, still gently rubbing your clit.
the air was thick with the smell of sex now, the sound of your heavily breathing and whatever song was playing you couldn’t fully hear because you were completely drunk off cumming.
you wish you could’ve stayed like this, sitting on his lap and being showered with kisses post-thigh ride. just clinging onto your boyfriend as he went along and continued his work but you got what you wanted and chris had business to take care of.
“take me to the bed?” you asked sleepily, snuggling your face against your boyfriends neck, sighing sadly. “please?”
“of course, baby girl.” chris pressed one last kiss to your hairline before scooping you up bridal style without a struggle, walking you the bedroom.
once chris tucked you into bed, he planted one last kiss on your pouty swollen lips, walking to the door. “i’ll come and check up on you after, okay?”
right as you were about to answer, your eyes wandered the giant glistening spot that was on his jeans that made your cheeks burn bright pink. chris looked down at his thigh with you, smirking just a bit.
“see the mess you made? you’re lucky no one sees me from the top-up.”
Warnings : one mention of kinky stuff but that’s all
You and Steve met, when Bucky decided to introduce you to his best friend
At first Steve was intimated by you, especially your unusual makeup
But even though you were looking a bit scary for him, he decided to try making friends with you
He wasn’t regretting it, you were nice to him and he absolutely loved your personality. Of course you liked him too, he was probably the most polite person you ever met
After Bucky introduced you two to each other, you started hanging out
At first you were scared that he might not want to hang out with you, because you were looking so differently than most people, but Steve assured you that he loves the way you look
After spending a lot of time together, you two understood that as different as you thought you would be
The biggest difference between you two is your dressing style, but neither of you minds that
After sometime, you start dating
A lot of cuddles
Sometimes you would do his makeup or give him some clothes so he could look like you
He absolutely loves it, but he still prefers wearing his clothes outside (he’s not ready to wear them outside his house)
Him buying you some clothes/accessories he thibk you would like
Dates in abandoned places
At first Steve was against that idea, because he was afraid of being caught
But then he decided to give a try, he loved it
At first it felt bad, because he was scared someone could see him, so he was careful about doing this and he still is
But besides that, he enjoys this kinds of dates
He tried doing your makeup once or twice, it wasn’t looking so good, it was messy, but you appreciated the fact he tried his best
If drink monster energy or any other kind of energy drinks, he’ll make sure you don’t drink too much, he don’t want you to get hurt
If you would ask him to, he can buy you some energy drinks
Him helping you save money to buy platform boots
If someone makes fun of you being Goth, Steve’s not going to be very nice
He has a thing for your chokers, he probably has a kink, but won’t tell you, a least not until he’s ready to do so
Steve’s favorite part of your looks are accessories, especially rings
Basically he loves you and he’s happy that you’re being yourself
This is the first imagine of my Steve Roger x Reader Series. For more of my writing check out my Masterlist!
You and Steve met on his first day of base camp. You were tasked to take him to the back to try to find an uniform that would fit him halfway decently. However, considering his size, that task was nearly impossible.
“This is the smallest kit I can find, I’ll keep looking though and bring you anything else I find tomorrow. I’m just going to need to take some measurements before you leave,” you spoke for the first time since receiving your orders.
“Thank you Miss-“ Steve replied.
“Y/l/n. Y/f/n Y/l/n,” you answered offering your hand.
“I’m Steve, Steve Rogers. Private Rogers” he returned.
“I know, you’re kind of the talk of the camp,” you turned to hide your blush.
“What is a girl like you doing in a place like this?” he asked as you retrieved a tape measure.
“I’m here with the SSR, when I’m not busy with work, I try to help out around the base as much as possible. Arms up.”
“Huh?”
“Arms up, so I can measure,”
“Oh, yeah, sorry,” he said lifting his arms.
After a few more minutes you got everything you needed.
“Okay private Rogers, your all set.”
“Thank you again, I really appreciate this.”
“No problem, good luck out there,” you smile as he shifts to leave.
He awkwardly made his way out the door. And you were stuck with that dumb smile on your face. Of all the men you had to choose from, you had to pick him. There was something different about him though, he had heart, you could tell… And that is why you stayed up late that night to alter a uniform for him. All the odds were stacked against him. No one really wanted him here and they wouldn’t hesitate to let that be known. His size would work against him, and he would have to work twice as hard as everyone else. The least you could do is make sure he was properly outfitted.
The next morning Steve woke up to find a new uniform sitting on the foot of his bed. He quickly put it on making a mental note to thank you later. He lined up with the others and went on out to train for the day. And it went about as well as you predicted.
It was later that evening as he sat alone eating dinner that Agent Carter paused at his table, “You’re a lucky man Private.”
“Why is that?” he asked surprised she was even talking to him.
“Every guy here has tried to gain Y/n’s attention, and you win her over with one encounter.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“The uniform,” she clarified.
“Yeah, she found it in storage.”
“They don’t come in any size below medium,”
“What do you mean?”
“It had to be altered, I’m sure it took her most of the night.”
“Really?”
“Yes, she must see something in you. Anyways, keep up the good work out there,” Peggy said as she walked away. She had planted the seed, and felt confident that she had completed her duties as your best friend. Now it was just a matter of time.
Steve quickly finished his meal and went to find you. However, after asking around he had discovered that you were off-base and he would just have to wait. But something in his gut was already telling him that you were well worth it.
WARNINGS:signs of depression, severe anxiety disorder, SUICIDE
A/N: Please contact me if you have any kind of problems or need help.
She tried to take deep breaths, holding onto the wall, trying to stop her hands from shaking. It was one of those moments where she stopped pretending, she wasn’t who she was portraying; a hero; a powerful member of the Avengers who always stood strong.
She was used to bad days. She knew loss, grief, dark days; she used to think she could overcome it all, it would all be okay with time. Time had been the cure for every single disappointment, or a sadness she had in her life. She had learned to heal, and to be strong with time. But she also learned that some days could be unbearable by the hard way.
Those days, were now more than just ‘bad days’. They had became her weeks, months…now her whole life.
Pain changed people and now, she was not who she used to be. She had started to realize that she couldn’t take what it takes to be a hero. All her friends, her family were heroes. They were strong. They knew how to live with pain, regret, sarrow, grief, loss…She felt like the weakest one in the team, she knew would make mistakes others had to pick up after her. She thought that she was a burden, everyone’s lives would be better off without her. And living with that thought, made her life unbearable. She had started to wake up every morning trying so hard to make it out of bed, and sometimes she didn’t.
She didn’t want anyone to know how she felt, because she was ashamed. So she always put on a mask, did her best to look as happy as she never could be.
When she felt like she couldn’t breathe, she stumbled into the terrace. She could feel her knees shaking, she just sat down on the floor, trying to stop her whole body from shaking.
What is wrong with me?
At first,it got harder to breath but she tried to stay calm, then she felt the air in her lungs, relaxing her in each breath.
Okay, there you go, you’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine….
It was not her first time experiencing a severe anxiety attack. She got up slowly, walking around the terrace, trying to make herself forget about the pain by watching the beautiful view of the city from the tower. She unconsciously walked over to the edge, just to look down. It was too high, she had trouble seeing the street. She thought that it would be impossible to survive if she fell. She had thought about death before, but not like this. She had gotten to the point where she started considering it. She stepped up on the edge, feeling the wind, looking down; trying to see the ground clearly.
It would make things easier, for everybody. She thought.
“Sir, I think you would want to see this.” FRIDAY spoke to Tony as he was down his lab, buried deep in work.
“No just-“ When Tony looked up on the screen, he was shocked; paralyzed. It was (Y/N), standing by the edge, looking down on the ground. His brain froze for a moment, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Was she…considering to take her life?
He immediately ran out of his lab, straight up to the terrace. When the others saw him rushing outside, they ran after him, figuring out that something was wrong.
“Oh my god.” Natasha breathed out in shock when she saw her.
“(Y/N)!” Steve called out for her, they walked towards her until she turned to face them.
“DON’T!” She shouted, and they all froze in their places in panic.
“(Y/N)-“ Tony tried to speak, taking a step closer but she wouldn’t allow him.
“D-don’t move!”
“Okay- hey, let’s just calm down for a moment, okay?” Natasha said with a low, calm voice.
(Y/N) was now in tears, she didn’t even know when she did start crying.
Steve got so scared he didn’t know what to say, he tried pulling himself together, “J-just hear us out, okay?”
“Whatever is it that you’re going through, we can do it together…” Tony said, speaking too fast because (Y/N) was still looking down on the ground, scaring the hell out of him.
“Sweetheart,” Clint called out to her, adding; “This is not, this can not be the option.”
“You can’t leave us like this.” Wanda said, followed by Natasha: “You wouldn’t be the only one taking the hit, you know?”
“And you don’t have fight whatever it is, alone. We’re here-“
“You-you can’t fix this! Okay? There is n-nothing to stop it, I-I can’t keep waking every morning, feeling like a burden to all of you!”
“W-what? A burden? Do you have any idea, how fucking lost we would be without you?” Tony asked, raising his voice.
(Y/N) was like the glue holding the group together. She saw the good in everyone and brought out the best of them. She taught them how to be friends, family. She used to be a cheerful, hopeful girl filled with laughter, joy.
But it wasn’t the same anymore.
“Tony-“
“If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t be living together at all.” Steve said.
“You are the reason we stand together, more than a team.” Wanda added, taking a step closer.
“A family.” Thor said, he had realized how important each member of the team got for him lately, they had became something else.
“And you need a reason to live? It’s family.” Tony said, even stepping closer.
She took a step closer to them to, even though she still was crying, and shaking in panic. Steve noticed her getting farther off the edge, so he took it as an advantage, and moved fast to grab her by the arm. Steve’s sudden move made her stumble backwards in fear, when she almost lost her balance, she tried to stand still by opening her arms; but it was too late. Her heel slipped, it all happend so fast she couldn’t function it. She screamed at the top of her lungs as she fell backwards into the darkness; Steve tried so hard to hold her hand, but only their fingertips met lightly.
Without any hesitation, Tony ran to the edge and jumped after her, everyone was so scared they ran up to the edge to see them.
Tony didn’t have his suit when he jumped, but he had to risk his suit not being fast enough. It was (Y/N). She was worth all the risks, he didn’t want to think how his life would be without her.
Tony’s suit met his body part by part in the air, when he was suited up fully, he flew faster to grab (Y/N). When they almost hit the ground, Tony held her in his arms in the last second before rising up high in the sky, landing back on the rooftop.
He kneeled down on the ground as he layed her down, checking for injuries. Everyone gathered around them, sitting down in a circle. (Y/N) was terrified; shaking so bad and hardly breathing.
“Hey, hey it’s alright. You’re safe.”
“Just breathe, (Y/N)- breathe…” They calmed her down slowly, than took her inside to get her a blanket and warm her up.
They sat by her, trying to talk to her, holding her until she stopped shaking. After a while her body shut down from that much stress and pain, she fell asleep on the couch and Steve carried her up to her room. They decided that they weren’t going to leave her alone, so they took turns. In the first night, Steve slept on her floor. The next night, it was Natasha who fell asleep right next to her. It went on and on no matter how bad she protested they didn’t have to. They talked to her, helped her, make her feel loved, safe.
It was hard; beating depression, believing life was worth living again. But being with them, it got easier. She started thinking time wasn’t the solution, or the cure. It’s family, she thought.
It took weeks, maybe months but she was better each day. They started to notice that she was smiling, laughing. She had good days, even though her bad ones. Time passed, and none of them left her side until she got through it all.
One morning, when they were walking towards the kitchen to have breakfast, Natasha heard her. She was cooking again, mumbling lyrics to some old rock song.
“Sssh!”
“Ssh what?” Steve whispered.
They all stood silent to hear her.
“She is singing again.” Tony smiled.
It used to be their tradition, (Y/N) would cook pancakes on sunday mornings. She loved to sing while doing so, they all remembered it.
They gave each other looks and small smiles, she was okay. She was better, and that was all that mattered; things could go back to the way it used to be.
They walked into the kitchen.
“Smells good in here!”
“You have no idea how much I missed your pancakes!”
(Y/N) watched them messing around, laughing as they started to help her make breakfast. It was that moment she knew; I’m okay…I’m home.
••••
a/n:please tell me what you think, I would love to hear them
Summary:You realized just how much you need him. You go to him and try to talk things out.
Word count: 1,765
Warnings:angst/fluff, mentions of torture, cursing
Authors Note: thank you so much for the love on the first part. I’m so in love with mob!au’s and happy how much this one turned out. if you have any suggestion on what I should write next, pls let me know <3
It has been 2 weeks since you last saw Steve. Every day you have been getting different types of flowers delivered to your apartment from Steve. With each bouquet, he has been living different notes stating how much he loves you and wondering if you were ever going to forgive him. He was hoping and praying that maybe you would text him back.
You want to forgive him, but you just don’t know if you could. I mean, you saw him almost kill a man. It is traumatizing. You do miss him so much. You miss his touch, the way he always rubs your back when you guys cuddle, and how he cooks for you and tells you how much he loves you.
You just got back from a long bad day at work and school. You turned in your assignment late, that you were really hard on, and your teacher only gave you half credit on it. Then the coffee machine at your job stopped working, but it stopped working after you got half a cup of coffee. But then your stupid co-worker, who is always rude to you, accidentally bumps into and spills your coffee all over your white blouse. So you had to deal with a coffee stain shirt all day and everyone kept giving you weird looks.
Once you arrived at the doorstep of your small apartment, you noticed a bouquet that was mixed with sunflowers and roses, your two favorite flowers, on top of the doormat. You already knew it was from Steve. You picked up the flowers off of the ground with one hand and used the other had to unlock your front door with your house key that was already in your hand. You unlocked and opened the door and pushed it open your foot. You walked to your kitchen, which was right by the front door, you dropped off your keys, purse, and the flowers all on the counter. You noticed that the flower had a note on it with a small paragraph. It usually didn’t have noted on it, when it did it only had Steve’s name on it. You grabbed the note to read it.
“I know you still haven’t forgiven me because you haven’t reached out. So, this will be the last time you will hear from me. I know you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. But just know that I always will and forever love you. When your ready to be with me, ill be waiting. -Steve”
You read the note twice just to make sure you read it. You weren’t sure how to feel. You wanted to be with him but you aren’t sure if you had forgiven him yet.
── • ✰ • ──
It has been two days since you received the last flowers from Steve. You thought about the whole situation that happened, and you realized just how much you need him and that he needed you. You made your final decision. You wanted to be with him no matter what. So today, since it is your day off, you are going to go over to his house and tell him that you have forgiven him.
You woke up and got ready like any other day. You wore your favorite outfit, had a nice breakfast, and was on your way to Steve’s house by midday.
It was about a 15-minute drive with a little bit of traffic. The whole way you were mentally preparing yourself and thinking of what you were going to say. You parked your car in front of his house, by the sidewalk. Got out of your car, walked up to his house, and knocked on the door. Your nerves were everywhere. You felt like you were about to have a heart attack. You couldn’t stop playing with your nails, which you always did when you were nervous. You heard the front door open and you felt your heart stop for a minute. You looked up from your hands and saw Steve staring at you with a shocked but confused face. He didn’t expect to see you anytime soon.
“Hi,” You said with a gentle tone. Steve was still looking at you with a confused face. He didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes. He was still trying to understand why you swerve standing in front of him and if you were there or if he was just dreaming.
“H-hi.” He was trying to think of what to say to you without scaring you off again. “What are you doing here?”
“Umm, I came here to see you.” You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t want to be straight forward. “I wanted to talk to you…. about us.”
“Of course. Come in” He responded quickly. He opened the door wider and moved to the side to let you go through. While walking through the door and passed him, you looked up at him and gave him a small smile, he returned one back to you.
He closed the door behind you and motioned you to his office with his hands. You nodded to him, showing that you understood the way he wanted to go, and walked up the stairs into his office. You opened the office doors and slowly walked towards the middle of the room, you didn’t know to stand or to sit. You just decided that standing was probably better. You felt this feeling of deja vu. All the feelings of when you were last in the office were coming back to you all at once, making you nervous then you already were.
You looked back to the office door to Steve closing the door. He walked towards you in the middle of the room and slowly sat to lean on the front of his desk. He looked at you up and down, waiting for you to speak first.
“I know this is kind of unexpected but I did a lot of thinking over these past few days and I know this has been hard on the both of us. But I know what I want to do and I know what is the right decision to do between us. I wanted to tell you this in person instead of over the phone. I knew it would be better this way.” You were scared to see his reaction. You knew he wanted you but have things change over the last few days.
“You want to end things officially, don’t you?” He cut you off, spitting out his assumption.
“W-what?” You were shocked by his question. “Of course not. I want to be with you.”
He looked at you with a shocked face. He did not expect to hear that from you. He thought you were going to leave him for good after how much he frightened you that day.
“Why?”
“What do you mean ‘Why’? I love you Steve and nothing is going to change that.”
“But that day, you were so scared of me. I thought you were going to leave me for good after you found out the truth.”
“I mean, yea I was scared of you, but that didn’t make me want to leave you.” You tried to explain it to him. “I just need some time to understand this whole fucked situation.”
You look at him with pleading eyes. You wanted to know what he was thinking.
“So you wanna be with me?” He asked
“Of course. I just-I just am a little scared.” You replied with uncertainty. He looked at you with questioning eyes but nodding for you to go on. “I’m scared of how this is going to effort us. I’m scared that I might be in danger all the time because of your enemies. I’m scared of losing you.”
Your voice was shaky and you had tears starting to form in your eyes. You looked at the ground trying to avoid looking at him, which might make you start crying. He looked at you with sadness and guilt, knowing he caused you this feeling. He got up from leaning on his desk and walked closer to you. He stood right in front of you, with both of your chests almost touching. He placed both of his hands on your cheeks, trying to direct your face towards him. You looked back at him and put both of your hands on his lower stomach in a comforting way.
“I understand that you are scared, but you need to know that I will never let anything happen to you. I will protect you no matter what the consequences are. You are my whole world, and I will protect your life even if that means losing mine.” He said while looking directly into your eyes, showing that he means what he said.
You nodded at him showing him that you understood what he said. You let your hands, that were on his chest, slowly move to go around his waist and around to rest on his back. You stepped forward, moving even closer to him, connecting your hands on his back and letting your hand rest on his chest. He moved one arm to go around your waist, and the other around your shoulder, with his hand on top of your head, squeezing you tight.
He looked down at you and smiled happily loving the feeling of having you back in his arms. He was so glad that he finally had you back and made you his again. He leaned down with his head to kiss you on the top of his head. You guys stood there for a couple of minutes, just embracing each other.
You made the first move to separate from each other. You took a step back and moved your hands back to the front of his chest. His hand was still on your waist with the other moved to rest on your cheek. You leaned forward, on your tippy-toes, and kissed him on the lips. He was shocked that you did that but he loved the feeling of your lips on his. He missed the feeling that your kisses gave him.
“I love you so much.” He said against your lips once you guys released from the kiss. You gave him a small and a small peck.
“I love you too. More than you will ever know.”
You know that you made the right decision going back to him. You were finally happy again, and so was he. He knew that you were the one and planned to never lose you.
Summary: You find out Steve is the leader of a mafia gang.
Word count: 2041
Warnings: angst/fluff ,mentions of torture
Authors Note: sorry I havent posted in a while. I’ve been busy with school and some health issues, but not covid. i really hope you enjoy this one. let me know if I should make part 2 because im kind thinking about it. im proud of this one and please send me feedback <3
You and Steve have been dating for almost a year now. It was his birthday coming up soon so you thought it would be a good idea to go over to his house and surprise him with an early birthday present. You had a key to his house, he gave it to you for your 6 month anniversary, so you just walked in. You saw his maid cleaning in the kitchen. You asked him if she might know where Steve is and she told you he was in the basement. You thought him being in the basement was a bit weird since he never went down there, but you didn’t question it much.
You walk down the stairs and see two large men backsides facing you and Steve standing behind a man who was tied to a chair with a large knife held against his throat. The man has his white button work shirt unbuttoned with cuts covering his chest and face, and blood dripping down his whole body.
“Oh my god,” You covered your mouth with your hand and took a step back from the scene. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing right now.
Steve looked up from the man when he heard you speak and saw you on the verge of tears with a horror look on your face. You stared at the scene for about 10 seconds, debating on what the right move might be before you turned around and started running up the stairs. Trying to run away from Steve before he can do anything to you.
“Fuck” Steve said while dropping the knife on the floor and running after you. He turned quickly to the two large men while running, “Watch him”.
Steve ran up the stairs and ran after you. Before you could reach the front door, he wrapped his arms around your waist and caught you in a tight hold, preventing you from running away from him. You tried ripping his arms off of you but he was too strong. You thought you were next.
“Let me go. Please” You tried pleading to him. Not wanting your life to end.
“Calm down. I’ll let you go when you calm down.”
“No, get off of me. P-please”
“Babe, I need you to calm down.”
“Please don’t hurt me. Please.”
He can hear the fear in your voice and that just broke his heart. He never thought he would be the one to make you scared.
“I’m not gonna hurt you. I would never, but I need you to calm down for me.”
You finally started struggling, knowing you were losing the fight. You were breathing hard and had tears dripping down your face. Steve relaxed his arms around your body and turned you around to face him. He had both his hands on your upper arms, trying to make you stay still. He looked at your terrified face. He can see the tears running down on your cheeks and you looking everywhere else but at his face.
“Ok, I’m gonna take you to my office upstairs and we are gonna talk.” He put his hand on your cheek and rubbed away the tears. “Ok?”
You nodded while finally looking at him but only for a split second, too scared to look at him. He finally let you go and gently pushed you in front of him with only one arm around your waist. You walked to his office with Steve trailing behind you. Once you guys reached his office, he reached over you and turned the door handle. Once the door was open, you walked inside. You were still scared of him and what he might do, so you just did what he wanted. He lightly pushed you inside and closed the door behind you guys, while locking it.
Steve guided you to sit in the large chair in front of his desk. You sat down with your hands in your lap and looking at the ground. He moved to sit on the front of his desk, facing you. He was thinking of the right thing to say, not wanting to make things worse.
“I know you’re scared right now, but I need you to listen to me and let me explain.” He said with a gentle voice.
You looked up at him with teary eyes and fear rushing through your veins. You didn’t know what to think right now. Was everything he told you a lie? Was he using you for something? Were you next? You still nodded your head at his statement and looked back at the ground.
“Ok, good.” He stepped forward, away from his desk, and moved closer to you. He kneeled down in front of you and put his large hands onto your hands that were still played on your lap. You flinched a little at the sudden touch from him. He looked at you trying to understand what you are thinking and how you are feeling.
“I know you are scared but I need you to listen to me. I am not going to hurt you, I would never dream of hurting you. I just want to explain to you what you just saw.” He was caressing your knuckle with his thumbs. “I have not been 100% honest with you. I lied to you about what my job is and how I make my money.”
He hesitated for a second to explain to you. He was scared of your reaction.
“I told you I was a business owner, which was true, but not the type of business you would usually think of. I am the owner of the mafia, more like the leader.” He looked at your face for a reaction but all he got was a serious face with more tears dripping down your face. You were scared out of your mind.
“I understand you’re afraid and confused right now. I will answer any questions you have to make you understand. No more lies. I don’t want you to be scared of me right now. You mean the world to me and you are the person I love most in this fucked up world. I can’t lose you now.”
You had a million questions but you honestly were scared to ask. Still, you had to know the answers. You hesitated for a second, still trying to process everything. You didn’t know what question to ask first. You needed to know one thing.
“W-why?” You spoke with hesitation and a hint of fear in your voice.
“Why what?”
“Why were you about to kill that man?”
“He betrayed me.” He was scared to tell you the truth but he knew he had to. “He began working for me a couple of months ago. He worked closely with me and I trusted him only to find out that he was working with my biggest enemy and he was spying on me. He was reporting back to his boss on everything I was doing”
“So that’s your reason for killing him.” You had slight anger in your voice. “You were about to take a human life just because he betrayed you.”
“I know it sounds bad but you don’t understand. This isn’t just some regular business where I can just fire him. If he lives after I found out about his betrayal then that makes me look weak and pathetic to other mafia gangs.” He was trying to defend himself. Make you believe he was doing the right thing. “If they see that, then that allows them to make a move on me and take over my business. That allows them to take over and kill me. Every day in the mafia is a life or death situation and I always choose the situation that will keep me alive.”
“But still, killing someone isn’t something to take lightly. How do you think I feel? I’m scared out of my mind right now.”
“I know you are. Trust me, I felt the same way you did when my father told me everything.”
“Your father? I thought he died when you were young.”
“He did. He was going on a risky mission to bring down a very bad and dangerous gang, who liked to hurt people for fun and do whatever they wanted. So, before he left he told me everything that was happening. I knew he worked for a dangerous business but I didn’t understand since I was so young. That night he told me everything and if anything ever happened to him that I had to help my mom with the business and take over once I was old enough, and lead just like he did.”
“That’s how you got into the mafia?”
“Yea. My family has been a part of it since the beginning of it.”
“Did your dad succeed in the mission?”
“Yea, he did. He killed the leader of the gang and took over. He made it a part of ours and made it great. But he died a couple of years later and missed the true success of it. I know you must think that we do bad things as a gang, but that’s the complete opposite. We help people, we give them jobs and turn their lives over. We help the people in need.”
You nodded at his response. You didn’t know what to say. You were still speechless. You understand a little more but you were still scared.
You and Steve haven’t spoken for a couple of minutes, just in silence.
“Can you please say something? I need to know what you are thinking.” Steve begged to you, needing to hear you speak.
“I am thinking about how to handle this situation. I am thinking of how we go on after all of this.”
Steve stood up from kneeling on the floor and moved to sit in the chair next to you.
“I still love you and I still wanna be with you. I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore but if you do I need to know.”
“I don’t know if I still wanna be with you. I still love you and I know I will always love you but I just don’t know how to feel about us. I mean, you are the leader of a mafia gang. Like this stuff only happens in movies.”
“I know.” He replied with a chuckle.
“I just-I don’t know” You paused for a second. Too scared to tell him the truth, scared he might be angry and do something he might regret.. “I think we need some time apart. I need some time to think and process everything that has just happened.”
“Of course. I completely understand.” He reached over the armrest and put his hand over yours and gave it a little squeeze. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be here waiting for you.”
As he said that, you looked over at him and saw a little comforting smile form on his lips. It gave you a little hope that everything was going to be okay between you guys.
You slowly sat up from the chair and turned to face Steve, who was still in the chair next to yours. You put your hand over his cheek. Looking into his beautiful blue eyes, taking them in. Hopefully not for the last time.
With that, you realized his face and walked to the door behind his sitting self. As you put your hand on the door handle, you stopped for a second.
You turned to him, “I know this changes things between us, but this doesn’t change the fact that I love you. Just wanted to let you know that.”
He turned around to face you, still sitting. He looked at you with love in his eyes.
“I know.”
You were happy with his response and gave him a little smile. You turned back to face the office door and turned to open the door. You went through the door and left the house. You left him behind, thinking if he will ever see you again. Hoping that you will eventually come back to him. No matter how long it takes, he will wait for his whole life for you.
summary: After Steve went back to time, he left one more special person who was depending on him with all their life. Based on Taylor Swift’s song ‘ I bet you think about me’. This take place in my own AU, I think…
Stream RED TV
To Steven Grant Rogers,
3 AM and I’m still awake I’ll bet you’re just fine Still awake in your city
New York without you feel so empty and lonely, with all the busy streets and sea of people, it still felt so dreary and depressing. Here I am, laying in bed on the witching hour but I bet you sleep so peacefully there. We’re in the same city but on a different time and date. Yet I can still feel your touches in my body, your shadows still walks my apartment and all I could do is watch myself miss you everyday. Even Sam and Bucky misses you…
I’m visiting DC for a couple days, I’m walking the path he once took every morning with Sam.
“Hey, Y/N!” I hear a familiar voice called out from behind, turning I saw them. The two guys he once called his bestfriends.
“Sam! Bucky! How are the two of you doing?”
“We’re good.” They look at me with concern, I know what that means so I smiled showing the fact that I’m fine when in reality I’m not.
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” They just nod and engulfed me in a hug.
“We miss him too.” I smile as tears involuntary flooded down my face. It’s nice knowing I’m not alone
And it’s better than mine And the girl in your bed has a fine pedigree And I’ll bet your friends tell you she’s better than me
You’re probably having a great and it’s obviously better than mine. Crying is now part of my daily routine, every time I wake up without you by my side, all I can do is sob with the haunting thought of Peggy laying beside you and you’re probably showing her off like she’s the best thing that ever happened to you and we both know that’s a lie.
“Steve! Come on! Our dinner is waiting for us!” I said as I emerged from our shared bedroom, Steve was just there. Leaning in the kitchen island with that charming sweetheart smile.
“What?” I asked obviously flustered and coy. This man is the most nicest and sweetest person in this world. I don’t know how I got him. He just chuckles and shakes his head.
“You know you’re the best thing that ever happened to me?” I laugh as he moves closer to me, hugging me in the process. His good boy cologne entered my nostrils and it was the most intoxicating thing I ever knew.
“Oh really? What about being America’s number one superhero?” I joke knowing what he’s going to answer.
‘I don’t need glorifications, all I need is you and just you.’
“I don’t need glorifications, all I need is you and just you.” I laugh as I looked into his eyes, I saw my future, I saw my life.
Well I tried to fit in with your upper-crust circle Yeah, they let me sit in back when we were in love Always sit around talking about the meaning of life And the book that just saved ‘em that I hadn’t heard of
I tried to fit in to the most complicated part of your life and that includes your superhero friends who invites me to their expensive parties and I know that they only invited me because of you. I tried my best to listen and try and connect with them, listening to them talk about science and their cool missions. I had no idea what they’re talking about but I just smile and nod all for you. And it’s all gone to waste because you threw it all out.
“Tony! Remember the battle in New York when Hulk beat the god out of Loki?!” Clint voice boomed all through out the tower, and I just sat there in my own silence while Steve was next to me holding my hand like he won’t ever let it go.
“What about Ultron?” Laughs erupted from their lips as Natasha brought it up.
“Oh, Y/N. I forgot what do you do again?”
“I’m an accountant.”
Silence crept into the room, I felt the insides of my stomach drops as the quietness reaches my ear.
“That’s a very boring job.” Vision commented making everyone burst out laughing and I just smiled. I know it wasn’t meant as an insult but it still hurt me, I felt Steve’s grip on my hand tighten. It made me relax and a little comfortable in this awkward situation.
But now that we’re down and it’s over I bet you couldn’t believe When you realized I’m harder to forget than I was to leave And I bet you think about me
The day you left me was the day I died, you we’re supposed to just take the stones back. But what happened? Did you see her? How could you leave Bucky? He needs you. I need you. We both need you. I still remember the last words you ever said to me.
“Will you come back?” I asked knowing he might see her there. He just smiled at me, it comforted me a little, but it wasn’t enough.
“Of course, you won’t even notice that I left.” That didn’t age well.
“I love you..” He just pulled me in and kisses me in my forehead.
“See you again, Y/N.” He murmur.
And with that you walked away from me, Steve didn’t say ‘I love you’ back, he didn’t call me by my pet name. All he said was that, but he’ll come back. I know it. Bucky and Sam moved to my side and gave me their comfortable presence. It’s like they knew something I didn’t.
And I was right, they knew you won’t come back’, but I didn’t. I hoped and hope that maybe you just got lost and that you’ll make your way back to me. But based on what Sam and Bucky told me, you settled down with her. Your first love, Peggy Carter. I thought you moved on, she obviously moved on from you. You left me so easily with no hesitations, it’s like I never even existed. Are you happy with her? Are you happy knowing I’m not? You’re a selfish jerk, me and Bucky needed you so bad.
But I know you won’t forget about me, I know you’ll soon realized that I’m something you regret leaving. Every time you touch her skin, you see my face waiting and hoping you come back. When you roam New York, I know you’ll see me everywhere. I know you’ll soon realized that I’m harder to forget than I was to leave.
And I bet you think about me..
Oh, block it all out The voice is so loud Saying “Why did you let her go?” Does it make you feel sad? That the love that you’re looking for Is the love that you had
I know you’re blocking out the voice of regrets and sorrow in your head but that voice will get louder and louder with each passing days. It will ask you over and over again “Why did you let her go?”. And I’ll ask you too in this letter that I hope you receive. Why did you leave me for a woman who was fine without you? You should’ve stayed with me because I’m not fine living without you. Does it make you sad that when you realize that what’s between you and Peggy can’t amount to the love we had. To dancing around to all the music you missed, to watching the movies Sam recommended.
“What did you think about Harry Potter–Are you crying?” I asked seeing him teary eyed while avoiding my eyes.
“I’m sorry it’s just–Snape was a good person all along!” He pointed to the tv while I die laughing.
“Do you want some tissues?” I asked, he just nods and took it from me.
“What’s next on our list?”
“Oh, you’re going to love this. It’s The Lion King.” I squint my eyes on the note that Sam gave us the other day.
“Make sure it’s not a sad one.” He added.
“Yes.. It’s a happy movie.” I smirk as I play the movie.
But now that we’re down and it’s over
I bet it’s hard to believe
When it turned out I’m harder to forget than I was to leave
I hope you cry as hard as the day you cried to Titanic, now that we’re nothing but strangers with memories together. I know it’s hard to believe when it turns out that forgetting me is like remembering a song you only heard once. And just like that song, I’m always on your mind until you find it. I hope this letters receive you in good health, I may hate you with all my heart but I still love you with all my own. Be happy with Peggy, but not too happy. You’ll spend all your loving day with her and I’ll spend mine alone in New York. I hear from Bucky that you started a family with her. You can pretend all you want but I know that you miss me–
