Maybe you’ve heard, in a recent interview actor Michael Douglas claimed that his throat cancer was caused by oral sex, something that a lot of people immediately wrote off as “crazy talk”. But, for theInjury-Duty faithfuls, you all might recall an article we published back in August of 2012 titled: “Herpes Isn’t The Only Oral STD You Should Be Concerned About”. 

In that article we shared with you that the Human papillomavirusorHPV (a virus proven to be linked to cervical cancer in women) is believe to play a significant roll in the increasing number of people developing oral (mouth/throat) cancer.

So, as much as we’d like to ride Mr. Douglas for being just another aging Hollwywood celeb gone wack-a-doo, he’s actually not saying anything all that nutty (something that the reporter conducting the interview obviously felt when he started laughing after Douglas said what he did). Now, does this mean that his particular case of throat cancer was in fact caused by HPV? We’d obviously have no way of confirming nor denying that claim without seeing the test results for ourselves. But, according to researchers and doctors in the field, is it possible, yes. 

This all kind of makes you feel bad for his wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) doesn’t it? Because, if she doesn’t have HPV then who… ah you know what, we don’t want to kick up anymore dust for the guy. Here’s the audio clip of Douglas nonchalantly sharing his health news with a reporter (click here). If you’re unable to check out the audio, here’s what he had to say:

“Without getting too specific, this particular cancer is caused by something called HPV, which actually comes about from cunnilingus.”

Well, to all the fellas who have been looking for that ironclad excuse to not go downtown… this one might buy you some time. 

I can’t stop thinking about how Funny Girl and Chicago are set in the same time period and Nick Arnstein sings to Fanny “You are woman, I am man, you are smaller, so I can be taller than”

And then Roxie Hart sings about her husband in Chicago, “I can’t stand that sap, look at him go, rattin’ on me, with just one more brain, what a half-wit he’d be”

One of them talks about how women are smaller and softer than men and the other is about how stupid men are! In the same time period!! ICONIC!!!!

Favorite Lyrics Chicago Edition

All That Jazz - No, I’m no one’s wife/ But oh, I love my life

Funny Honey - that scummy, crummy/ dummy husband of mine

Cell Block Tango - he ran into my knife/ he ran into my knife 10 times

When You’re Good To Mama - when you’re stroking Mama/ Mama’s stroking you

All I Care About - twisting the wrist/ that’s turning the screw

We Both Reached For The Gun - are you sorry/ are you kidding

Roxie - And that’s cause none of us got enough love in our childhoods

I Can’t Do It Alone - I know, you’re right, the first part’s shit. But the second part—the second part is really nifty!

Mister Cellophane - Unless, of course, that personage should be/ Invisible, inconsequential, me

Razzle Dazzle - Throw ‘em a fake and a finagle/ They’ll never know you’re just a bagel

Class - Now every son of a bitch is a snake in the grass

Nowadays - but nothing… stays

Nowadays/ Hot Honey Rag - Chicago’s own killers, drillers/ Those scintillating sinners

I Move On - I run so fast a shot gun blast/ Can hurt me not one bit