There once was a shipping vessel then And the name of the ship was the Ever Given She turned too far, got stuck on shore Can someone call a backhoe?
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
She was not even halfway through When down on her, a sandstorm blew Despite the courage of the fearless crew They had nowhere to go
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
The others ships went ‘long the shore A detour 'round the African Horn It cost nine billion bucks or more That’s quite a lot of dough
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
For six long days, we watched this scene We made dumb jokes and posted memes Though they did free the Ever Given We encourage them to get stuck again!
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and go
Still is the Evergreen stuck To make international commerce fucked One day, when we dig her back up We’ll right her way and gooooo…
a sequel, a sequel for the ever forward!
there twice was a ship that stuck shorewards, and the name of the second was the ever forward; she missed a turn when the waters churned, so the voyage ain’t on the go.
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
scarcely had the crew pulled up the anchor when she ran aground, which almost sank her; 'all tugs to the aid!’, the captain swore his furrowed brows lour and dour.
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
the ever forward’s been stuck for a fortnight, and thank the stars! the traffic’s alright, yet the rescue teams’ knuckles went bone white for the ship’s no child’s play, no.
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
for fourteen days the memes did boom, as the evergreen bosses huff, puff and fume; the ever forward has not moved, and the company’s cursed, ho!
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take note!
the ever forward doesn’t live to its name, now chesapeake bay is a bay of meme fame; beware the tides of march, o baltimore’s baywatch, take noteeeeee~
feel like shit just want her (ever given) back (in the suez canal)
happy anniversary to the most event ever - miss u so much
Good news! We now have the Ever Forward. She is stuck in the Chesapeake Bay because they took her at 13 knots straight off the dredged shipping lane and into the muck. The area she’s off the coast of? Sandy Point. Which … should give you an idea of the mess she’s in. She is buried 24 feet deep into mud. From bow to stern. The major difference here is that she isn’t in the shipping lane so everyone is capable of going around. With the Ever Given, they were able to use the high tide to help. Here the high tide is all of 1 foot. That’s not going to help 24 feet of muck. And she was run aground pretty close to the anniversary of the Ever Given. She should be stuck for at least another week, assuming their removal strategy goes to plan.
As far as Brad knew ‘coral’ was only a color in the touristy areas of Central and South Florida.
Chris wasn’t so sure that was the case. According to the fashion rags coral sightings have been verified throughout Georgia and the Carolinas reaching as far north as Eastern Maryland around that Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel drive toll thingy. That jumbled road whatever it decided to be was an equal nightmare regardless.
Chris went on hypothesizing global warming could bring the coral sightings to the Southern Jersey Shore as soon as next summer, the Hamptons by 2025 and possibly all the way up to P-Town by 2030. The good news, coral would likely remain seasonal or if they were really lucky die from being pegged to a trendy Miami sound with an obvious expiration date.
Brad supported Chris’ predictions adding if they were going to be real about the whole thing they needed to acknowledge it could show show up in NYC on Amanda Lepore as pasties or fringe at any given moment. How many times can one do Tiffany blue?
With that Chris came up with a plan. If Amanda didn’t field this, the two of them could step in and head off coral in Miami or even Palm Springs if it goes rogue. There was no way to plan around anything else. Life was just too random and for whatever reason no one understands the nature of our own behavior of generating trends.
That’s when Chris realized Brad left to follow the very attractive man in the coral speedo into the restroom. Chris quickly followed suit. This yoga and meditation retreat was about to pay out.
