Chika not being able to sleep without snuggling something is making me imagine domestic Chikawa snuggling together.
Like imagine some years in the future, where Chika and Satowa live together. They sleeping in their bed under covers, Chika’s arms wrapped tightly around Satowa’s waist, his head buried in her chest holding her so firmly like he never wants to let her go. Like she’s his most precious thing.
Satowa hugging his neck, her face buried in his hair. It looks like she’s shielding him, protecting him from something with her whole body. Her arms wrapped around him tightly like she’ll never let go of him until the end of time.
Them basking in the morning sun, both of them not wanting to wake up and separate from the other. Non of them moving an inch, just quietly breathing in each others’ scent while still asleep. Both of them doing whatever they’re doing in dreamland comforted by the fact that they’re still in each others’ arms.
I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELS RIGHT NOW!! (also Chika is the little spoon no I will take no criticism you can fight me on this)
MAJOR SPOILERS FOR CH.109 OF KOT! I’ll be referring to the translation by @tessenpai if you haven’t read it yet you can find it here
Hello, I am dying, and have been all day, but in a good way. I’ve been freaking out for many hours now, but the more I think about this chapter, the more I have to freak out about.
This chapter was fluff galore. So many funny moments and all my babies were smiling so much, but there was also some serious emotion. I laughed so much I literally almost cried. This might be my new favorite chapter, not that I have only one favorite chapter but all of it was just so amazing! I’m so emotional right now
Anyway, let’s start off with my almost obligatory section of “reading way too much into the title of the chapter.” But like, “Words of Dawn” how freakin poetic is that? To me this applies to the dawn of a new side of relationships. Obviously for Chika and Satowa this applies, like the dawn of a romantic relationship possibly. Or at least the words that finally make them realize they both love each other. I just can’t get over the fact that they both now know that they love each other! But I also think quite literally it dawned on Satowa that Chika feels the same way about her as she does him, so yeah. I also think this applies somewhat to Momoya, maybe. Like, he’s turning over a new leaf with the club and is getting more comfortable with being close to them. Like, parallel him staying over at Tetsuki’s place this chapter with the way he was at practice camp and it’s really different. And, now the club has really secured their chance at Nationals, too, so there’s a lot of hope with this chapter. Overall, the title of the chapter just gives off a really hopeful, almost new beginnings type of feel, and it works really well for the chapter.
So, the majority of the chapter is spent checking in between the girls’ sleepover and the guys’ sleepover. Before that we have a great conversation between Chika and Momoya that gives off such brotherly vibes, but honestly all the second years with Momoya gave off such brotherly vibes and I’m such a sucker for that. I’m so relieved that Uzuki said he really wouldn’t mess with Chika or the club again, like I know at this point that arc is pretty much done with, and we’re in the aftermath of it, but I still like the reassurance. I love Momoya’s entire inner monologue about Uzuki, it shows how deeply he really understands the situation and his emotional maturity. “Sei’s issues have nothing to do with Kudo-senpai. I am sure the only one who would find comfort in an apology would be Sei.” Momoya is really trying to find his place in all this, and it requires a deep understanding of several different people to realize that the above quote is true. I think Momoya is handling the situation pretty well except for the fact that he is yet another club member who thinks he’s just a burden to the club.
I am so here for the boys teasing the hell out of Momoya. I loved it so much, and I need to see more of it from now on. It’s so funny that Yoshinaga is so bad at tests and so everyone pushes him onto Momoya for tutoring and Momoya is absolutely like you’ve got to be kidding me with how bad your grades are. It really does feel like Momoya’s being himself with the group more, and I really like seeing it. And I love how the group reassures Momoya that they want him there by just teasing him a ton. Sane joking about how much Momoya must love them was so hilarious, and I’m not getting over any of it any time soon. When they compared him to an abandoned puppy, perfect. Momoya realizing that he can be himself and that they’ll still be there for him, and if he’s ever lame they’ll laugh about it and him realizing that that’s how they care for people and accepting it was quite touching. And I just love seeing all of them smile and have fun with each other, because it feels like it’s been ages. Like, Chika didn’t cry this entire chapter. It looks like he teared up towards the end maybe, I can’t really see clearly, but my boy was just so happy.
I loved seeing the girls have a study session and sleepover of their own, and I love Satowa and Hiro’s friendship so much, so seeing moments like this is so nice. Both Hiro and Satowa saying that they were just worried about the club falling apart and that they’re happy everyone stuck together made me so emotional. Like, that really was the thing that scared them most and if anything everyone became even closer.
Hiro is a straight up mood and so damn relatable when it comes to all the talk about Satowa’s confession, and Chika’s confession later on. I feel like Chika and Satowa are those types of people that are so hard on themselves but absolutely will not let anyone else be hard on themselves, which is kind of a random thought but what made me think of it is that Satowa absolutely would not stand by as people told Chika he was unlovable, and yet she is also doubting herself big time and that her love means anything to him. I love that this is the depiction of Chika being super normal with Satowa
Like, it’s just so damn funny to me. And Satowa trying not to be a burden to the club by convincing herself that even if her confession didn’t mean anything to Chika then she’d still be fine. Like, I don’t think Satowa was really thinking about the aftermath when she confessed, she just knew she had to say what she felt. And though I don’t think she really expects much from Chika (I’ll get into some of this more later) I also don’t think she expected everything to go back to normal without even talking about it. Because while she may not have expected anything from Chika in return, what she said meant something to her and now she’s worried it didn’t mean much to him. I love what Satowa says though, about how Chika got his smile back and the club is at peace. Once again though, Satowa is putting club stuff above her own emotions, and I think she’s honestly just relieved about it all and glad that Chika’s happy again but pushing her own feelings to the side.
Then we have Satowa bringing up how Hiro likes Takezou, which is just great! I’d always thought that Satowa figured out who it was Hiro liked, so I’m happy they finally talked about it. Hiro just getting all flustered now that they’re talking about who she likes. I love, really love, that the only person in the club the girls are worried about having figured things out is Momoya. They’re not even worried about the rest of the club members, but they single out Momoya as the one person who might know, and I just think that’s absolutely hilarious. Like “Oh, no, am I easy to read? Has anyone figured it out? *thinks about everyone in the club* Maybe I’m good. Oh, no, wait, Momoya can read people well and isn’t an idiot!” But it also brings up the interesting question of if Momoya has realized Takezou and Hiro like each other. Like, Momoya has known since like ch.69 when Chika gave Satowa the flower that those two have liked each other, but I’ve never thought about whether he also knew about Hiro and Takezou.
Random note, I love how much the manga is pushing the fact that Chika really can’t sleep without cuddling something, it gives us such wonderful moments.
I haven’t said this before because I really hate how Momoya spoke about women for a while, but now that he’s become closer to the club and isn’t making those comments anymore, I’d honestly like to see more of a friendship between Momoya, Satowa, and Hiro. I feel like Satowa and Momoya could get along quite well and they all spend so much time together that I’d like to see those friendships developed a bit more.
I love how when Sane, Kota, and Mittsu all want to watch the video Satowa took of the whole Uzuki incident Chika at first was fine with it and then remembered that he’d said he wanted to be with everyone and got all embarrassed, but later on literally confesses to Satowa in front of their entire friend group without even blushing. Like, he really is not at all afraid of telling everyone how he feels about Satowa.
I’m so happy everyone is officially going to Nationals!!! Like, logically I knew the story was leading up to it but damn did it still make me worry.
I’m also happy there are still a couple weeks left until Nationals, because I am not prepared for that arc yet. I’m really still hoping we get a conversation between Chika and Satowa when they’re alone, because they still need to talk, even more so after this chapter.
Even after this chapter, it’s still up in the air what will happen with Chika and Satowa’s relationship status, but I think that it’s really important that Chika and Satowa both talk about it and get to a place where they can play to the best of their abilities in Nationals because if anything is off between them it will definitely affect the performance. And, vice versa, it will definitely affect the performance in a good way if they’ve accepted their feelings. I still think there’s a good chance that they’ll wait until after Nationals to actually get together as a couple, but I think the most important thing really, whether they get together before or after Nationals, is that they both get to a good place with each other and mutually agree on a decision as to what to do together.
As everyone is still celebrating, however, the video is still playing, and Satowa’s confession rings out loud and clear for the entire club to hear.
Everyone’s reactions (except Satowa’s in my opinion) are hilarious. But I love so much how Chika and Satowa immediately look to each other. Meanwhile, everyone starts freaking out. Poor Satowa, I cringed so hard for her. Takezou jumping to the rescue being like “Me too! I love Kudo-kun” I lost my shit at that. Like, everyone’s so precious in trying to jump to Satowa’s rescue and not make it awkward, “Look at that, we all love Chika.” Meanwhile Chika, who knows what Satowa really meant and wants to reciprocate those feelings, is looking around like “oh this is nice and awkward I guess but that’s not how she meant it” and keeps looking back at her. Satowa’s insecurities start to get to her big time. She thinks she’s ruined the atmosphere of the club, that she’s burdened them and made everything awkward at such an important time. My heart kinda broke when I realized how much of her freak out came from being worried about ruining the club. Then, through the chaos, Chika gets her attention, and she’s so damn worried and nervous and upset, and he just smiles and says he loves her too, in the exact same way that she told him.
This moment between them. His smile. He’s so damn happy as he’s telling her he loves her. I can’t believe my baby just did that! I definitely thought, as I think a lot of us did, that Chika would need more time and that we’d kind of see him starting to realize that he loves her and has for a while. I thought there’d be a whole “Oh shit” kind of freak out before he realizes how much he loves her and how happy he is about it. But he just straight up confessed, because he is so sure. If anything, I think Satowa was like “oh shit, wait, he loves me back?!? I didn’t actually plan for this” I loved everyone’s shocked but happy reactions. Even Momoya’s smiling for these dumbasses. I love that Momoya smiled quite a bit in this chapter, like genuinely smiled.
There are almost two big categories as to why I love this confession. 1. For the things it is. 2. For the things it’s not
I’ll start with the second category because it’s much shorter. I love how this wasn’t drawn out for ages. Ch.106 is her confession, and ch.109 is his. There was no misunderstanding as to what either of them meant, and even Satowa worrying about if it meant anything was quickly cleared up. There are many ways this confession, or the lack of a confession, could quickly turn into an annoyance, but it didn’t. Hell, the longest conflict/awkward time between Chika and Satowa I can think of only lasted 3 chapter (ch.29-31), and since then I feel they’ve gotten better at not letting things stay awkward because they mean too much to each other that it messes with them if they’re not talking. So, basically, even though this confession was very unexpected to me, I loved the way it was done, though we will have to see how the aftermath goes.
There are so, so many reasons I love this confession.
I’m so happy to see Chika not only let himself be loved but also let himself love other people. He’s now realized what he means to everyone, and can accept what Satowa means to him. So far, he’s really following through on what his grandfather told him about grasping onto happiness. He’s really going for it, smiling up a storm.
And for those of you worried that he didn’t actually mean love in the same way she definitely did, I really don’t think that’s the case. I think Chika understood what Satowa said in ch.106, and the way he called out to her and then told specifically her that he really loves her, too, which directly parallels the way she said it to him. Not to mention everyone’s reactions to what was said. This was not a friendship kind of love, and Chika may be dense but he knew what he was saying, everyone did. I include this paragraph because I was worried at first, too, but after reading the chapter for myself and even just looking at it I think it becomes pretty obvious.
I keep thinking back to this moment at the end of ch.89 and beginning of ch.90. Much like in ch.90, now, once again, Chika and Satowa’s emotions have kind of come seeping out and they have to face them in some way. They had a chance in the new chapter to do what they’ve done before and try to sweep it under the rug. Chika could’ve kept telling himself he wasn’t good enough for Satowa or didn’t deserve her even if she does love him back, but he didn’t. Instead of trying to hide his feelings or feeling ashamed about them, he very clearly told Satowa that he loves her, just as she told him. In ch.90, neither of them were ready to face how they felt about each other. But in ch.109, Satowa has already confessed and meant it and she’s not taking it back, and Chika is also ready to express the fact that he loves her. With all the stuff that happened recently with Uzuki, Chika is finally realizing that the people around him care about him and want to be with him, so in turn he’s allowing himself to care about them and get even closer and hopefully beginning to think himself deserving of their love so he can love them back fully. Instead of thinking only of how he might hurt them or be bad for them, he’s allowing himself to love Satowa back, and he’s just so happy about it and has come such a long way.
I’m interested to hear what else Chika has to say, but I’m also super interested in what Satowa’s reaction is really going to be. Obviously when she confessed to Chika, she wasn’t really thinking about the aftermath of it, she said it in the moment and that was that. And even afterwards, with her and Hiro’s conversation, Satowa wasn’t expecting Chika to reciprocate necessarily. While Satowa has known about her own feelings for a while, I don’t think she’s ever really opened herself up to the idea that Chika could feel the same way, hence her being so dense in the ch.90 incident. When Chika said that he basically wants to put his hands on her all the time, I think her mind went to violence because it genuinely didn’t even occur to her that Chika might feel the same way about her as she does him. She didn’t think that that could be romantic in any way because she hadn’t opened herself up to the possibility that Chika could love her back. I really think that’s why Satowa didn’t figure out Chika’s feelings in ch.90, because she was so caught up in her own feelings and not letting them ruin everything she didn’t think of his side of it and just assumed he saw her as only a friend and nothing more. Also, she can be just as dense as Chika sometimes.
So even now, after having confessed her own feelings in ch.106, I don’t know what she was expecting Chika to say or do or think in response to that. I don’t think she was really expecting him to reciprocate her feelings, much less confidently in front of everyone. Much like Chika is with people, Satowa is also afraid of hurting people and is very worried about being a burden and causing problems for the club. In her eyes she keeps making Chika apologize for things, she can’t forgive herself for the way she treated him at first (that ch.104 moment still really kills me), so I really don’t know how she thought Chika felt about her. With the club, she truly thought her confession, her letting herself express her emotions she was so afraid to express, could ruin everything. And then Chika confessed, so I’m really interested to see more of her reaction to him saying he loves her, especially after she’d been doubting herself because of how normal things were between them.
I also somewhat wonder whether the reason why things were so normal between them is because Chika realized he’s loved her for a long time and after he realized that he just kind of acted like he always had just without denying that he loves her?
I can’t believe that I love two confessions so much even though they both happened in front of an entire group of people. Usually, I like stuff like this to be talked about privately between two characters, and I still want a one on one conversation between them, but both of these confessions happened in front of a group of people and they were both great confessions. At least with Chika’s confession the group of people actually care about them and didn’t want to, oh I don’t know, hit them with a pipe afterwards. (still so happy I don’t have to look at Uzuki’s face much any more)
But this is a good way to avoid having to figure out how to tell the club about things. Just let the big developments happen in front of them and then you won’t have to explain them later.
I love that Chika saw how worried and embarrassed Satowa was when everyone heard her confession, and just decided to tell her right back, right then and there, almost as an assurance she didn’t ruin anything.
I’m still processing all of this, but I really love how their confessions to each other contrast each other but work so incredibly well for each of them. For each person, I think they heard that statement of love in a moment where they needed it, and I think the circumstances around why the person said it was perfect for each person. For Satowa, I think it was important to have that moment of her defending that love, of her realizing there was nothing wrong with it in the face of the reality of the world. She loves him, there’s nothing wrong with that, and she’s going to do what she can to protect him. For Chika with his confession, I think it was important that it was a moment of peace, not conflict. Satowa’s confession was her finally overcoming her internal conflict with her own emotions because she was pushed to express them from outside circumstances. Those circumstances helped her realize that she needed to express those emotions and that they were nothing to be ashamed of, that they weren’t just a burden, and that Chika needed to hear them. Chika’s confession was so peaceful, and he was entirely sure of himself. Satowa was sure of herself too, but she said it almost to prove that her actions were justified because she loves him and to prove that someone can deeply love Chika. Satowa’s confession was her exclaiming to a world of people who didn’t truly care for Chika that he could be loved. For Chika, it was a simple moment. He didn’t feel any stress over it. He expressed his feelings with the same words she did, but he didn’t have to fight for it or prove it. He could just grasp onto to what makes him happy without feeling the need to deny himself of his feelings or desires or let anyone else stand in the way. I adore both confessions, by the way, but I think the way both happened were important for the characters for different reasons and they were said at times the other needed to hear it. For Satowa’s confession things were very dramatic and there were a lot of strong emotions already happening when she came in with her strong emotion, whereas with Chika’s confession they just locked eyes and he said it. He said it because it came up and that’s how he feels and because Satowa seemingly needed to hear it in that moment. I don’t understand how this manga can be this amazing! Like, truly
Chika has fought so long and hard for the people he cares about and doesn’t always think he’s deserving of their love or just doesn’t want to cause them trouble. Now that Chika has been through all that stuff with Uzuki and had so many realizations, I love that his confession is a reflection of how comfortable Chika has gotten with some things already. He says he loves her in front of everyone, knowing full well what he’s saying. Satowa is so concerned over it all, and just the way he smiles at her. He’s so in love and happy about it, and apparently very readily expressing that. He hasn’t had to defend it, he isn’t telling himself that he can’t love her for this or that reason (because he hasn’t caught up to her, because Nationals is coming, whatever the reason may be) he’s in love and happy about it and I don’t think he has much internal conflict over it. I love how he just immediately looks over to her and watches her reaction when the video plays. I think he knew she meant what she said, but I think her reaction to the club hearing it was even more confirmation that she really does love him and he’s so happy to tell her he feels the same way. These idiot lovebirds, I love them so much!
I’m really interested and already dying a little from embarrassment thinking about what the aftermath of this is gonna look like. I am not at all ready for Nationals to start yet, at least not before Chika and Satowa have a one on one conversation because they still definitely need that. People also still need to figure out how they’re playing this song, because last time I checked “I” was still kind of a mess. I really want to see how Chika and Satowa figure out their solos and duet together after this. I’m really interested to see where they go from here and how they choose to go on from this moment. I’m also excited for Tetsuki to find out what happened.
Fun fact, this is the longest post I’ve ever posted up to this point, including fanfic. Beat out my ch.106 analysis and rambling by about 600 words. It’s the confession chapters that I apparently have a lot to say about (hm, wonder why)me, repeating how they confessed to each other and how much they love each other like a billion times because I absolutely can’t get over it. I feel like this was a bit of a mess but I literally haven’t been able to think about anything else. And I still don’t feel like I really said everything I wanted to, but I think I’ve said plenty. If you’ve gotten to this point, thanks for reading such a long-ass post.
Excellent analysis! I am also still DYING over this chapter. I LOVE that Chika saw how uncomfortable/distressed Satowa was the club heard her confession, that he directed the attention back to HIMSELF by confessing in front of them all. Showing her the love is mutual and he’s not ashamed, so she doesn’t have to be either. DAT EYE CONTACT THO. *swoons*
And OF COURSE his confession is romantic. Not only did Chika and Satowa both confess with WORDS, their ACTIONS (Chika hugging Satowa back after her confession was already confirmation he reciprocated her feelings, especially because it followed the flashback of his grandpa), and REACTIONS of all the other characters (AND Satowa) told us as readers that everything about this Chitowa/Chikawa situation is romantic as well.
I’ve seen the reactions of Japanese fans on twitter and there is no doubt in their minds this is romantic. They are SO excited. This is because they understand the nuances of the language that are sometimes missed when translating into English. HOWEVER!! You don’t need to be Japanese or know Japanese to understand context and common sense. We sawthe difference between Chika and Satowa’s “I really love you” vs the rest of the clubs lighthearted “ilu” (that was said only to make Satowa feel better). Chika paid no mind to the club “confessing” to him cause he knew it wasn’t romantic and what the purpose of them doing that was for. He literally ignored all his friends saying they love him cause he knew that didn’t matter. It wasn’t romantic. He only focused on Satowa.
After 109 chapters I think it would be awful if everyone takes Chika’s confession in accordance to the skit they did to save Satowa from embarrassment. As well as Satowa acting dense. This is very unlikely due to everyone’s reactions on the final pages, including hers. THEY KNOW what he meant. The ship is slow burn enough already. There is a chance for a troll like this to happen, but it’s unlikely BECAUSE of what I just stated, and the fact they already pulled the “yeah I love Chika too as a friend/kouhai/etc” I can’t see them repeating that. Especially because Satowa’s confession was absolutely romantic, hence the extreme embarrassment. Chika 100000% understood what she meant, so he wouldn’t be replying to her romantic confession that he loves her like a friend “too”. He used the same words “really love/daiiisuki” to mimic what she said, telling her the romantic feelings are mutual. And everyone’s reactions to both confessions says it all.
These are PERFECT parallels of each other in Japanese (and English, really).
「久遠のことが大っっ好きだから！！！」 “Because I really love Kudo!!!!” (Chapter 106) 「俺も鳳月のこと大っっっ好き」 “I really love you too, Hozuki.” (Chapter 109)
It’s literally Chika’s direct reply to Satowa.
There’s simply no way this can be interpreted in a platonic way. None. Especially because they have a slow burn romance throughout the entire manga! A reply like this: “I really love you” (romantic) “Oh yeah I really love you too” (friend) doesn’t make sense in this situation. At all.
I hope they have a proper conversation next chapter. Maybe the club will leave them alone to talk, haha. Regardless, I am looking forward to next month!
AKA me gushing for many words because I am never getting over this chapter
MAJOR SPOILERS FOR CH.106 OF KOT!
I did not mean to wait this long to post! University is just kicking my ass right now and it took me a couple days to be able to form a coherent thought after this incredible chapter. But anyway, I’m here now so on to the story.
I don’t even know where to begin. Maybe with the fact that the chapter is titled “Love” like, when I tell you I freaked out I truly freaked the fuck out. Also, the translators mentioned that “Peace” is written as peace but read as “Love”, so that just adds another layer of meaning. EDIT: As was kindly explained in the comments (by someone who understands Japanese, and I certainly do not) the newer translation of “Love” mentioned at the end of ch.104 is incorrect. “Peace” is more accurately read as “Peace” and said as “I” meaning ‘Me’ so the original meaning it was said to have and I thought it had is more accurate and love has nothing to do with the title of the song. And I’m not at all disappointed by that because honestly I liked the meaning behind it being called “Peace” and “I” more. It puts emphasis on finding peace within one’s self and one’s life and focuses on the idea of self in general which, from what Takinami has stated about the song, is really important to this song’s meaning. The song seemingly forces everyone to focus on themselves and being at peace with their role in their lives and who they are to the people around them. Hence, “Peace” and “I” or ‘Me’ makes more sense for the journey our characters are having with the song and with their lives.
Okay, no, it’s been 2 weeks since this chapter came out and I still cannot form coherent thoughts about it. It’s too amazing.
In ch.104 when Satowa said that she would never let go of Kudou’s hand again, I honestly never expected something like this 2 chapters later. This arc started off in ch.99 with them holding hands. She reached out to him without even thinking then Chika took her hand without even thinking about it because they’re so close at this point that they can’t help but draw closer to one another. But Satowa, due to awkwardness, seemingly not wanting others to notice, and thinking that he doesn’t feel the same way she does, points out that he’s still holding her hand so that he’ll let go. And he does let go, he chastises himself for having not even noticed because it already feels so natural to him, then they change the subject. But it all ends with Satowa thinking to herself that she wishes they’d stayed connected.
In ch.104, she vows never to let go of Chika’s hand again, and by the end of the chapter she’s actively running towards him, not letting him face things alone. Rather than making him let go, she’s now the one actively reaching out. And now, this, what we have in ch.106, a full on hug, her saying she loves him, refusing to be separated, and he hugs her back.
For a while now, we’ve seen Satowa run away from her feelings for Chika. She tries to get rid of them, then just accepts them for a while but tries to avoid them, because while she may realize her own feelings, she doesn’t think he feels the same way, and of course the club also plays a part in her trying to ignore her feelings and not cause problems. But starting with ch.104, she stopped running away from her feelings as much, because with the whole Uzuki situation she’s prioritizing Chika and the fact that he needs to know people care about him over her own worries. I think what’s happened has expedited Chika and Satowa realizing/accepting their feelings. I’ve had many ideas on what needed to happen before Chika and Satowa confessed or got together, and this chapter changed some of those ideas in the best of ways. I’ve always thought that for huge progression to happen between Chika and Satowa that they’re each gonna have to realize that the other one may have similar feelings, because I don’t think they’d ever risk their friendship. We’ve already seen before that they each get really thrown off when they’re not talking to each other (ch.30-31, ch.90), so I think they’d need to have some idea of the other’s feelings and that they wouldn’t ruin what they already have if they confessed. But this whole situation with Uzuki has expedited some of that process. Satowa sees that Chika needs to hear that people love and care about him, and boy does she love and care about him, so she makes that ever so clear to him. She’ll protect him and try to fight so he can be happy.
Okay, with that set up, I want to talk more directly about the events of ch.106. It started off with Momoya and Yoshinaga, which was a good scene, but I’m not really here to talk about them right now except for I think it’ll be really interesting to see how Momoya responds to this whole situation with Uzuki.
I love how within the first few pages of it switching to Chika and Satowa, they both call each other idiots. Like, I really love it! Satowa calls Chika an idiot for trying to do things alone and Chika calls her an idiot for running into a situation like this. I just want to take a moment to appreciate how much of a badass Satowa is. She runs into this undeniably dangerous situation, surrounded by 7 violent men, and she goes in there and just does not take their bullshit even a little bit. She explicitly states that she does not intend to just sit back and be protected, she’s there to protect Chika, and protect Chika she will. I fucking hate Abiko, with the way he threatened Satowa, unacceptable. This is when the hug begins (oh my god they spend like this entire chapter in each other’s arms) and it starts off as more of a protective gesture. Chika, as he will continue to be throughout this chapter, is shocked by this gesture of caring and loyalty. She isn’t going anywhere, even if she does get hurt.
I find it so fascinating that as Abiko continues to threaten Satowa, Uzuki just questions why. Why is she going this far to protect Chika? Who is she to Chika that she would risk this much. Why? Why is a girl like her jumping to protect Chika in whatever way she can?
The more Uzuki sees that Chika keeps finding family, the clearer it makes to Uzuki that he can’t. They both didn’t have good family environments, but Chika has found something outside of that, whereas Uzuki is unable to do that. He wants to stay in the dark, and he wants Chika to stay there with him. But Chika keeps collecting people who show up to pull him out of that darkness. And we already know Uzuki’s reaction to these people: to destroy them. But again, you really do not want to mess with these people. Uzuki may have found ways of breaking Chika, but they won’t work if he can’t isolate Chika. And the people around him won’t let Chika do this alone.
Uzuki’s face seems to express the question “Now why would a girl like you fight so hard for someone like him?” Uzuki just can’t seem to get that someone could genuinely care so much for Chika. He’s truly baffled. If Satowa isn’t his girlfriend, then why is she going through so much effort? Uzuki cannot understand that love, those bonds that aren’t determined by what “worlds” two people may come from. “You have no reason to go this far,” he says, but that’s not true and Satowa tells him so. And even after Satowa confesses, Uzuki has a look of utter confusion.
A side note before we get to the confession itself; It kills me that Chika literally starts begging Satowa to let go of him before she gets hurt. I love it, but it just kills me every time. Chika is just absolutely desperate to not have Satowa get hurt because of him. And Satowa just tightens her grip on Chika and says that she loves him. I will never not be happy looking at these panels, they bring me so much satisfaction. I don’t think there’s any commentary I can even add to the confession itself, it’s just perfect in my opinion.
In this moment, she’s showing him he’s worth protecting, in every sense. She loves him, wants him to be happy, never wants him to be hurt, wants to treasure him. She wants to protect him purely out of love and how much she cares for him. It’s about who he is, and how much she cares that makes her refuse to sit by and not protect him. He’s worth protecting to her.
With Satowa’s hug I think it hits home for Chika that he is loveable, and that he does deserve happiness. She wants to protect him and won’t let him protect her at his expense, she won’t let him or anyone else force her away. I also love that she doesn’t pull him to standing first, she meets him right where he is, and she absolutely will not let him go.
I like that she almost challenges Uzuki after that to say there’s something wrong with her feelings. For so long though, she has thought that she shouldn’t feel the way she feels, but in the face of all this, she sees there’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving someone and wanting them to be happy and protecting them. Whereas before, she felt like her feelings could only get in the way or hurt people, now she feels no shame in expressing them.
Satowa’s words and actions remind Chika of Gen and some of his final words, and Chika realizes that this is one of those moments his grandfather told him about. One where he’d have the choice of whether to grasp onto happiness or not. Gen so purely wanted Chika to find happiness and let himself have it. It flashes back to probably one of Chika’s last conversations with his grandfather. Gen has one thing to ask of Chika, and it’s that he wants Chika to become happy. Despite the fact that Chika always treats himself terribly, that he chooses to give up on himself, Gen simply wants Chika to try to be happy. When an opportunity presents itself, a path that will make Chika happy, Gen hopes that Chika will choose that path and grasp onto happiness, because ultimately it is Chika’s choice. A person can’t be happy if they never choose to be.
And so we come to what might be my favorite page in the entire manga
For a while now, we’ve seen Chika protect people with his hands, but this is him actually reaching out for happiness with them. I love the emphasis on Chika choosing to hug Satowa back. He reciprocates the hug and grasps onto happiness. This is such a huge choice, for Chika’s entire journey and for Chika and Satowa’s journey together. I love how they both duck their heads into each other’s shoulders. They’re both crying from all the emotion, but taking refuge in each other, clinging to each other, refusing to be torn apart. Both Satowa and Gen just want Chika to be happy. Except, while Gen ultimately couldn’t stay with Chika, Satowa is refusing to let go, she won’t leave and she won’t let anyone force her away.
Even though Chika’s response to Satowa’s confession wasn’t a verbal one, this was still a reciprocation of feelings, to an extent. From the very beginning with this manga, it’s mentioned that the entire club is pretty bad at verbal communication, that something like koto is useful to them because it’s like a different language in which they can express themselves, actions over words go with that too.
Chika and Satowa have said many important things to each other, but often it’s still their actions that can speak louder than words. As per usual, they often express themselves best with actions, words getting awkward or muddled at times. This applies even more so to Chika in some ways, actions are how he communicates the important things, and this is one of those moments. But with Satowa, too. Yes, her verbal confession was extremely important, but already just the gesture of her being there and protecting Chika, refusing to leave, made a huge impact with him. The hug added even more to her words.
All of this got me thinking so much about both Chika’s and Satowa’s journey within this arc and across the entire manga and their entire lives. How they support each other and show that they love each other. And also the significance once again that Gen has in Chika’s life.
I think Chika is finally accepting that people don’t blame him, and that he doesn’t need to be apologetic. His grandfather didn’t blame him, the club doesn’t blame him, they all just care about him and want him to be happy, and he’s starting to accept that and try to fight for himself and what he wants. Chika is quick to blame himself, he’s unforgiving of himself, thinks himself undeserving, but he’s finally pushing past all that so that he can pursue the life that he wants and stay with the people that make him happy. He’s no longer simply resigned to his fate, but he also isn’t using violence to fight against it. With everyone getting involved, it shows him that it doesn’t have to end the way it always used to, he’s not alone and they won’t let it end the same way. He has a voice now, and people who will truly listen to it.
So much of this arc has been Chika realizing who he is to the people around him, as they keep showing up for him again and again. But they also keep refusing to let him think he’s a burden, which is important because Chika already felt like he was always being saved. It’s his change of mindset that’s key here. He’s choosing not to give up on himself anymore.
He’s valuing himself, accepting that other people can think of him as dear, and beginning to think of himself as important. This also ties into the song “Peace” with Takinami telling Chika he needed to start focusing on who you are to the people around you, and Satowa essentially hit Chika over the head with it. But “Peace” also contains solos for each member, which forces them to look at themselves as important. The music is intrinsic to Chika finally starting to realize this, because that’s how Chika understands things, especially emotions, best and where he can express them best.
Uzuki and others have always gained power over Chika by threatening the people he cares about. Now, the people he cares about are actively standing beside him, not letting him stand alone, ready to face what consequences there may be so that they can protect Chika. They’re not letting themselves be leverage because they’re playing an active role, which allows Chika to realize some things. Chika will still obviously try to protect them, but they’re going to try just as hard to protect him.
I think Chika needed his friends to protect him so that he doesn’t feel like he’s needlessly involving them in his fight, so that he could see that he’s worthy of their protection and it can be their fight instead of just his. It breaks the cycle. He never felt he had the right to ask for people’s help if it meant putting them in danger, but now he values himself and his desires and respects the ability and desires of those he cares about enough to truly let them help. In the span of a couple of chapters, Chika goes from trying to leave the club to deciding not throw himself away because he just wants to stay with them. He is no longer willing to throw himself away to protect what he cares about. He now wants to try to preserve what he cares about and himself. He’s doing what his grandfather asked of him, really trying to be happy for himself.
With Satowa’s confession, I think he also realizes that people want to protect him because they care for him just like he cares for them. It’s not hell to have to deal with Chika, like his father made him think. They truly love him and want him to be happy. In fact, people are now literally telling him to stop trying to fucking deal with things on his own. Satowa coming to the rescue I think truly showed him how much she, and the people he cares about love him and want to protect him, not because he’s a burden but because they want him to be happy and safe with them. In contrast to his father saying he could never love Chika, Satowa is standing by him, she loves him even when Uzuki is trying to point out that she seems like nothing special to Chika (she obviously is).
Chika and Satowa have both found healing in each other, in slightly different ways. Up until this current arc with Chika’s past, she supported him and helped him heal in more subtle ways than he helped her. But they both ultimately told each other what they needed to hear to move on from the past. Now, in this arc, Satowa is more directly doing for Chika what he’s always done for her. All of it’s so amazing! The moments in ch.105 and ch.106 have truly solidified Chika and Satowa as pretty much my favorite ship ever. I mean, they already were, but they just keep getting better. The way Satowa is protecting Chika, in ch.102 and more these past 2 chapters, and her confession being about how she doesn’t want him to get hurt and she truly just wants to treasure him and see him smile, it’s simple and yet so beautiful and profound.
Good god, I was so worried that someone would get hurt in this chapter, and I honestly don’t think I would’ve been able to handle that at all. Uzuki is absolutely insane. He sees Chika and Satowa having a moment and tries to hit them with a pipe. I get why seeing that, you know, an expression of actual love, would cause Uzuki to break in some way, but still. Excuse me as I shake my head in silent rage. I adore the detail that Chika notices what Uzuki is about to do and shifts so that he’s somewhat in front of Satowa. But this also bring up the point that I don’t think the rest of the club really saw them hugging. Yes, they all arrive basically as this is happening, but it’s easy to think that Chika was just shielding Satowa instead of them embracing and holding each other close before Uzuki’s insanity surfaced again. I’m so happy that Tetsuki came to the rescue! And I’m just overjoyed to see Uzuki get knocked on his ass. Like, what a wonderful way to end this amazing chapter. Tetsuki is just so absolutely done with this shit, and he only just got there. And then of course, the rest of the club follows after that. This manga is so good at giving Chika and Satowa big, important moments alone but then also including the club. They focus on Chika and Satowa but also don’t take away from the other friendships and relationships. Gah!
I think we’ve finally gotten to the point where now there’s a good amount of resolution to this arc. And, while this was all angsty as hell, I think this was ultimately probably a good thing for Chika because he could confront a bunch of different emotions, and honestly so could Satowa.
With this confession it also brings up an interesting issue, which is that Chika and Satowa will now at some point in the near future definitely have to acknowledge their feelings for each other, at least in my opinion. Up to this point, it’s been easier on both sides to just try and ignore those feelings, for the club and for themselves, but now that some of it has come out into the open, it might be more of a problem if they don’ttalk about it. I think they’ll have to face it and resolve how they feel about each other before or very soon after nationals. Now that it’s out in the open, it’s not as easy to just shove it away and pretend it isn’t there. They’ll need to talk about it and that’s what might actually be better for them and the club. I’ve always thought that at some point not facing their feelings may cause more issues for them than just facing it, and now I think that might be what’s happening. They can’t just ignore it. It’d be a bigger problem if they didn’t talk about it, so I think Chika and Satowa will definitely be talking about some things in the near future, after putting all this stuff with Uzuki to rest.
Anyway, there are my thoughts that it took a long damn time to put into words.
p.s. I don’t know why I can’t get this scenario out of my head, but I can just imagine the club the next time they see Takinami, and Takinami is just like “What the absolute hell happened to all of you?” And then they try to explain, and there’s just even more exasperated parent energy exuding from Takinami. He may not really express it, but he cares about these kids so much and really wants them to make good choices. Unfortunately, they’re all dumbasses, really lovable ones.
