#child support

Broke: Shane Seyer should not have been required to pay child support, because his daughter was conceived he was not yet 18.

Woke: Shane Seyer should have been required to pay child support, because his daughter might not have her needs met otherwise.

Bespoke: Shane Seyer or his parents should have paid Colleen Hermesmann’s parents, and Seyer should have been forced to marry Hermesmann because (as far as anyone knows) he stole her virginity.

“A woman might collect child support from me for a child that isn’t mine!”

“Then cultivate a reputation of keeping your hands to yourself.”

Men: How are we supposed to avoid child support now!?

Me:

as yall should know by now if you read my autobiography “the life of calvin broadus” dave is the disappointingly mediocre lovechild of my one true baby mama lil cal and i and not at all any satanic technobabble ritual of lalondes. only five years ago it was since our little bundle of who cares was birthed from cals holy womb. i even recall the night of conception. i had just finished lighting a romantically scented funeral pyre of smuppets when