#choi seunghyun
just wanna say that if you think taking Seungri out of BigBang’s songs is even 100% possible
1) you don’t understand anything about music
2) you’re literally tearing apart Kwon Jiyong’s legacy and life’s work because you no longer support his family.
also? even if you don’t support Seungri anymore and want ot4, it’s impossible to deny that Seungri never had such influence, and wasn’t a intricate, necessary part of BigBang. i’m not surprised you all dropped Seungri like he was nothing, but you’ll fumble for excuses when they move their witch-hunt to other members. you’re all transparent and i thank you for that, i’m now able to desociate with those who are delusional (those who appear to believe you know what the other members are thinking - that’s you too!)
anyway, none of us know BigBang or what they’re thinking, so y'all can stop saying “they’d never ______” etc.
<3
Moodboard made by @fantasyworldbb
A/N ~ Ok my little pets, we about to get angsty. *shouts* prepare the tissues hehe. oh and @tabis-eyebrows enjoy my darling, this is all for you xoxox
Theme ~ Friends AU
Pairing ~ Choi Seunghyun X Reader
Rated ~ Angst
A sharp pain in your neck woke you, you groaned as you lifted your hand and rubbed at the sore spot. Panic washed over you when you opened your eyes and looked around at the unfamiliar room, that was, until you looked down. Seung hyun was sound asleep, his body curved around your legs and his head still in your lap.
You sighed, letting your head drop back onto the bed as you tried to stop the burning in your eyes. It felt like a mistake allowing Jiyong to talk you into coming here, Seung hyun was fragile and you were cold, you could end up doing more damage than good and you didn’t want to do that to him.
The burning intensified as you remembered what he was going to say before you cruelly cut him off, he was going to say he should have chosen you over Jangmi but in what context, you weren’t sure and you didn’t want to clarify. It would be easier to go on, being dead to everything around you if you didn’t know, if you let yourself believe it was just about your friendship and nothing else.
But for one second, you allowed yourself to think it was different, that he meant he should have been with you instead of her. Your heart skipped a beat at the thought before heat rushed through you and fear sunk its claws in once more, it hurt. You didn’t want this, not again. You didn’t want to relive the feeling of your heart being full yet empty at the same time, to have him so close but just out of reach.
Your head snapped up, your hands gingerly moving his head and unwrapping his arms from your legs, trying not to wake him. You didn’t want to face him, you didn’t want to speak to him or hear him speak, it was too much, it was too soon. You put your hands behind you on the bed and slowly pulled yourself up, your legs left with no feeling from having his dead weight on you for so many hours making you hiss lightly as you stood. You took a moment, allowing the blood to rush back through them and the feeling to come back enough for you to walk without stomping your feet.
You took a step, your heart was racing, you felt like you were losing a piece of yourself all over again. You lifted your other foot, the racing in your chest quickened as you moved it further away from him. You placed it on the ground, your heart stopping when you felt something brush your ankle. The burning in your eyes started up again when you looked down and saw his hand clasped around your leg.
“Please don’t go” his raspy voice lightly called through the room followed by a sniffle, he was crying again.
You closed your eyes, tears rolling down your cheeks, this wasn’t the first time he had asked you this in the same tone as he was now.
You woke up shivering, your body freezing cold, your breath visible in the crisp morning air. The sounds of birds chirping caused a throbbing in your head, it was as if they were screaming at you. You shifted, something fell to the ground with a thud. You looked down to see the empty whiskey bottle lying in the dirt, you groaned as you stood, the throbbing in your head worsening the more elevated you were.
You had stayed out all night, hidden away in the tree line by the lake. You didn’t mean too, you wanted to stay away until they went to bed, until he went to bed. You just wanted to be left alone so you could get drunk and cry without getting a million and one questions or making him feel bad. But they didn’t stopcalling out for you, he wouldn’t stop calling your name, using different tactics as he tried and failed each time to get you to come out.
By the time you had reached the bottom of the bottle, you looked over at the house to see almost every light on, the brightness casting a dark shadow of him from the front step out onto the ground. And that was the last thing you remembered until you woke up.
You were still angry, angry at him for letting her do that to you in front of everyone, mad at yourself for allowing her and it to get to you. You acted like a child running away from home but no matter how much you wanted to come out, no matter how badly you wanted to apologise for your actions, your stubbornness wouldn’t allow you.
You kept your face cold as you stepped back inside the house, quietly slipping your shoes off at the front door before going into the lounge to get to the stairs and to the solitude of your room.
“Noona, thank god” Jiyong said with relief as he stood and made his way over.
Before he could reach you, he was pushed out of the way, an angry looking Seung hyun taking his place as he yelled “Where the fuck have you been all night?”. You tried to ignore him and keep walking but he stepped in front of you, blocking your path. “Do you have any idea how fucking worried we have been?”
You kept your cold face as you looked up at him and said “I didn’t think you cared”
“Don’t be stupid” he spat as he furrowed his brows.
His words struck a nerve, you were done, you’d had enough of his name calling, his yelling at you and his behaviour. “You won’t have to worry about my stupidity for much longer” you said before stepping around him and heading to the stairs “I’m leaving”
“What are you talking about?” He yelled after you but you ignored him andcontinued up the stairs. “Stop. Don’t walk away from me” you could hear him yelling when you got to the top. Again, you ignored him and went to your room, slamming the door behind you. You couldn’t help it, he had made you so angry, made you feel as if it was over nothing and that you were the one in the wrong.
You grabbed your bag and chucked it on the bed before heading to the dresser and grabbing your clothes to throw them in the bag. The door flung open, you refused to look up, you knew it was him.
“You’re really going to do this?” His words were still laced with anger and you still ignored him, proceeding to get your clothes out and roughly throw them in your bag. “No. Enough. You’re not leaving” he growled as he grabbed your bag right when you were about to put the next pile in.
“Give me my bag” you said calmly, still refusing to look at him.
“No. I won’t let you leave”
“Give me my fucking bag” your words were rougher, more demanding as you threw the clothes on the bed.
“No. I don’t want you to leave, it’s been so long since I last saw you”
“And who’s fault is that Seung Hyun? Certainly not mine” you spat as you finally looked up at him. He was standing there, dumbfounded as he stared back at you. “I made time for you, I always make time for you but you never make time for me, not anymore”
“You know I can’t just drop everything whenever I want to, I have responsibilities”
“And what about after your responsibilities? Huh?”
“I…”
“You still don’t have time, you’re still too busy. If you don’t want to see me, that’s fine but stop acting like you do”
“Princess…”
“Stop calling me that” you screamed, your hands tangling in your hair and yanking at it as if you were trying to pull out the memory of his pet name for you.
“Stop it. Stop this” he begged desperately as he grabbed your hands.
You hit his hands away as you yelled “No. You stop. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t keep letting you in. Can’t you see you’re hurting me?”
“I’m sorry”
“Sorry for what? For the way you manhandled me yesterday? Or for the names you called me? How about when you said that Jiyong shouldn’t have invited me here? Or are you feeling guilty for allowing her to speak to me like that in front my friends while you sat there like a fucking coward?” you were so angry that you took a swing at his chest with your last word.
He caught your arm before it hit him, his hand tangling in yours, lacing your fingers together as he said softly “I’m sorry for all of it and the things I haven’t done yet”
“I hate you” you scowled as you lunged with your free hand but he caught it again and pulled you into him.
“No you don’t” he said with a smile as his hand tucked your hair behind your ear.
Your eyes darted between his, how close he was was making your breathing ragged and your heart race. “No…. I don’t” you whispered as if someone could hear you, his face flattened, his eyes and his breath mimicking yours. His eyes dropped to your lips and you could hear your heart thumping in your ears, you weren’t sure what was happening but whatever it was, you didn’t want it to stop.
“Stay….. Please….?” his hot breath lapped at your face, your eyes closing on their own as you inched your face closer.
“I….” you dropped your head, remembering why you wanted to leave in the first place, remembering he had a girlfriend. “I don’t think it’s a good idea”
His hand slipped under your chin and lifted your head, his eyes watering as he begged “Please don’t go”
You furrowed your brow at him, your eyes filling with liquid at the sight of his. “Ok”
“Oppa?” Jangmi’s voice called from the door and snapping you back to reality.
Seung hyun stepped back, his eyes still locked with yours as he called out. “I’m coming jagiya”
A tear rolled down your cheek when he said it, he stood there staring at you, his jaw clenching as he watched the tear fall. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before stepping away and walking out.
Why? Why did you let him do this? Why did you always let him do this?
“Princess, please?” he begged tightening his grip around your leg.
“It’s…. Too much” you voice was croaky as you tried to hold back the tears so he wouldn’t know you were crying.
“No, don’t say that”
“I’m sorry…I…”
“No” he cried out as he let your leg go and stood up, stumbling, he reached out and grabbed your arm. His body fell to the bed bringing you with him, his arms held you tightly as soon as you fell on top of him. “I won’t let you leave, not again”.
You didn’t want to give into him but your body gave up once his scent hit you, it had been five years but he still smelled the same, a mix of cologne and cigarettes. The burning in your eyes intensified, your body caving into him as it shook slightly. He tightened his grip, his voice whispering as it broke at the same time “It’s ok, It’ll be ok now”
Your fingers twisted in his shirt, clenching the material as hard as you could as the pain you felt finally flowed out of you.
->Tanaka& Seunghyun ⋯ ♡ᵎ
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