#deaf and hard of hearing

Well, today has been a fun day! Been to see my consultant today for my 6 monthly check up. (Those who read my blog post regularly would know I've had 2 operation and face further hearing loss.) At my last check up last year everything was fine and things were looking promising, but not this time round. There have been further hearing loss, which was a blow! I actually thought I was lucky for a change! They want me to try and adjust to using one hearing aid. For me this will be hard as already feel like I’m missing a limb.

I know I’ve always said that I would be fine if I were to lose more of my hearing, but it doesn’t mean it need to be fun! I still find it hard, I get full of fear and anxiety but not towards to the hearing loss but to my future. I have no control and this doesn’t sit well with me.

Overall I struggle as to where I place my emotions - I’m angry but there’s no one to blame. I don’t want to take it out on others as it’s not their fault but at the same time it’s not mine too! So where can I place it! I’m not exactly the most forth coming person when it comes to expressing my emotions. I don’t find it easy to talk about things that upset me.

All I can do is wake up tomorrow and move forward like I always do! I’m lucky to be surrounded by people who are supportive - friends, family and those whom I have the pleasure of working with. I am not alone.

Who says being deaf needs to be easy - Its a challenge. A challenge that I will face head on!