#death on the nile

olympemancini:

just remembered death on the nile and i feel so bad for kenneth branagh. this man was like “ok so making a shakespeare adaptation set in japan with nearly no japanese people has tanked my reputation as the shakespeare guy but i am sick of my career as a disney company man and i want to be a literature guy again. i am going to become….the agatha christie guy“ and it went fine for the orient express, which wasn’t good per se but it wasn’t bad either, and he got greenlit for a sequel and he was like fuck yeah i’m gonna build my franchise i’m gonna get a star-studded cast i’m going to get wonder woman and shuri and that guy armie hammer who looks like a ken doll and of course Me Kenneth Branagh. and then he shot his movie and maybe in the two months after the trailer drops letitia wright outs herself as a transphobe/climate change doubter/militant antivaxxer, armie hammer turns out to be a sex pest that daydreams about eating women, and gal “imagine there’s no heaven” gadot’s own idf starts bombing gaza. and so his movie gets delayed two whole ass years AT LEAST, which is enough time for him to cast, shoot and edit a whole ass other movie. and now he is desperately trying to rebrand as the personal biopic which will win an oscar guy because his franchise is now dead and fucking buried even though people haven’t even seen the movie yet. it could be the best film kenneth branagh ever made and nobody is going to see it, probably ever.

so against all odds i went to see death on the nile, which is a movie that officially exists, today

Enjoyed The Film ‘Death On The Nile’.

basically anything in French is sexy, but Soph speaking the language is just something else!

*Also … yeah, for those who, after my previous post, are wonderfing why I haven’t listed Belle on this or the Top Ten list, I have LITERALLY just watched it TODAY.  It’s too late.  It’s pretty much a gruaranteed shoe-in for the Summer Rundown, though …

The Runners-up:

20.  THE OUTFIT – after making an influential splash when he graduated from novelist to screenwriter on The Intimidation Game, Graham Moore lands another cinematic milestone by making his directorial debut with this corkscrew twisty thriller set in mid-1950s Chicago.  Mark Rylance is as mesmerising as ever as an English cutter (a particularly accomplished kind of tailor) whose shop doubles as a drop for the local Irish Mob, until one night an incident sets off a swiftly snowballing chain of events that threatens everything he’s built.

19.  OPERATION MINCEMEAT – masterful British director John Madden (Shakespeare In Love) brings one of the less well-known Allied victories of World War II to life in this intriguing war movie equivalent of a cosy blanket and a nice cup of tea.  Colin Firth and Matthew Mcfadyen should’ve worked together YEARS ago, because the two Mr Darcys play off each other wonderfully as the endearing odd-couple of SSO officers who conceived and executed a brilliantly bonkers plan to misdirect the Nazis on the eve of the invasion of Sicily.

18.  YAKSHA: RUTHLESS OPERATIONS – once again Netflix have come through in fine form when it comes to alternatives to the still somewhat stripped-back cinematic roster as the Pandemic “winds down”, this surprise smash Korean action thriller proving to be a good deal more escapist fun than I first expected.  So Kyung-gu (Public Enemy) and Park Hae-soo (Squid Game) clash spectacularly as a South Korean intelligence agent and disgraced prosecutor forced to work together to defeat a dastardly international terrorist plot.

17.  VIRUS: 32 – you know me, I can’t resist those sneaky little indie horrors, and Shudder’s latest is an absolute stormer.  Uruguayan writer-director Gustavo Hernandez (the original version of The Silent House) has created a (sort-of) zombie thriller with a killer twist – the victims of this virus go dormant for thirty-two seconds after each outburst of ferocious violence, which is the only edge young Montevideo security guard Iris (In the Quarry’s Paula Silva) has as she fights to rescue her daughter and survive the night.

16.  THE DUKE – finally released well over a year after its initial breakout debut at the 2020 Venice Film Festival, this endearing and frequently very funny film from Notting Hill director Roger Michell chronicles the true life tale of Kempton Bunton (Jim Broadbent), the bumbling amateur thief who led British police on a merry chase in 1961 when he stole Goya’s priceless Portrait of the Duke of Wellington to hold for ransom for free TV licences for the elderly.  Broadbent’s typically spellbinding, as is Helen Mirren as his long-suffering wife, Dorothy.

15.  DEATH ON THE NILE – Kenneth Branagh’s 2017 crack at Agatha Christie’s Murder On the Orient Express was a surprisingly enjoyable period romp with endearingly odd Belgian super-sleuth Hercule Poirot unravelling a devious plot in an impossible setting.  This Egypt-set follow-up doesn’t QUITE stand up in comparison, but it’s still great fun, Brannagh again embodying classic Poirot as he grills an eclectic collection of starry celebrity suspects including Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer and a blissfully reunited Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders.

14.  THE ADAM PROJECT – more from Netflix, with Ryan Reynolds reteaming with his Free Guy director Shawn Levy as a pilot who travels back in time to save his father’s life in order to prevent a nightmarish dystopian future and winds up enlisting the help of his own 12-year old self in the process.  The jokes fly as thick and fast as the deliriously cool CGI-driven action, while Reynolds delivers another winning goofball turn alongside Zoe Saldana, Mark Ruffalo, Catherine Keener and the future Percy Jackson, Walker Scobell, as his younger self.

13.  MOONFALL – Roland Emmerich’s films have grown increasingly hit-and-miss over the years, not least with the painfully clunky misfire of Independence Day: Resurgence, so it’s nice to see him return to form with one of the year’s most gleefully ridiculous cinematic guilty pleasures so far.  Patrick Wilson and Halle Berry are among the various surprising big names bringing a touch of class to this bonkers sci-fi rollercoaster about an improbable plan to prevent the Moon crashing into the Earth.  The surprisingly enjoyable result is definitely the movie Resurgence SHOULD have been …

12.  THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT – Nicolas Cage delivers what might be his definitive performance as he sends himself up SPECTACULARLY in this gloriously meta black comedy in which he befriends geeky billionaire superfan Javi (a fantastically game Pedro Pascal) at the behest of the CIA, who believe Javi is the head of an international arms-ring who’ve kidnapped a politician’s daughter in order to influence the outcome of an election.  Everybody involved in this film is clearly having the time of their lives, and you will too.

11.  IN SEARCH OF TOMORROW – my new favourite documentary film series returns with another eagerly-anticipated deep-dive into the undeniable greats of 80s genre cinema as writer-director David A. Weiner does for sci-fi what he did for horror with his breakout hit In Search of Darkness.  An absolute MUST-SEE for fans of the highs AND lows of this great cinematic decade, this film offers up a riveting rundown of many great sci-fi titles from EVERY YEAR of the 80s and a veritable who’s who of their various stars, writers, directors and fans that consistently captivates despite its running time of OVER FIVE HOURS!!!