#armie hammer

boysappetit:

Luxury Men’s Style

suffering-and-happy-about-it:

WhileCall me by your name is about young love and heartbreak, Find Me is about hope and patience.

And if you think that the book only got sequel bcs it got lit, trust me, read the last part of cmbyn, especially the last pages, and try reconsidering it - because the hints of possible sequel were there.

As I’m reading Find me, the book has one tiny, itsy-bitsy flaw.

Sami and Miranda’s story. I mean, it’s not bad, it’s sweet… But I don’t really care about Elio’s father. I care about Elio. I bought the book because of Elio, not to read about his father.

Once Elio’s here, being as lovely as ever, I can finally connect to the book on the same level I connected to Call me by your name. Until that… I don’t know, the story lacks something.

Okay, first let me remind you - this is my POV on the book as a whole. Everyone has their way of understanding of what exactly happened in Call me by your name (the novel) and you don’t have to agree with everything I am about to say - WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE.

Second thing - I’m going to be using translations and page references to my copy of the book - that being the first Czech edition from the year 2018, translated by Lucie Podhorná because it varies from the OG book itself (for example, when Elio talks to Vimini, my copy says “when did he tell you?” instead of “when had he tell her?”; it’s just small nuances). Also, that’s why I’m referring to Oliver as ‘Oliver Ulliva’, because my copy canonically confirms this being his last name - it refers to his last name being ‘Ulliva’ a few times since Mafalda cracks his egg open.

What made me even wanna write this rant? I don’t wanna in any way talk about the author or the director, or the actors. But… Well, quite a few things - especially the statement that their relationship was predatory since the very begging (simply because Oliver is seven years older) and that it was practically a ‘consensual ra*e’ and… Listen.

1. The Age Gap

Most of these were from the American audience who viewed the movie - but let me explain why Europeans might view this relationship differently and why you might change your opinion about it as well. I am not saying Americans don’t do these things as well, but from what I’ve seen on the forums, etc., it seems to me that European x American view on age gaps is way different.

For the sake of this statement, I interviewed 10 of my European friends - of which were mostly all Czech. Europeans do not see a problem with having a seven-year (and more) age gap between the partners - you rarely find a couple of which both are the same age; three-years being the “standard” gap.

Young people, around 17 - 19, at least in my country, are attracted to older partners for various reasons - some like the intellectual potential of their partner, some are searching for a form of certitude in an older partner having their priorities sorted out and figured out their lives and what they want to do with themselves; whether we are talking about m/m, w/m, w/w or a non-binary relationship. One of my friends told me she searches older partners solely because they feel more protected by them. It’s the sense of serenity, a different feeling of connection and different understanding to your other half.

I’ve talked to four of my friends, who both have partners of the same age or max. 1-year gap and even they told me they absolutely can see themselves dating a partner older by minimally five years. So, it’s not a controversial thing here, really.

Maybe it’s more common in here, but rarely anyone frowns upon such relationships. At the time of my first relationship, my first partner was five years older than me - and I honestly couldn’t see myself with someone my age. From my experience, the relationships and bonds have a higher probability to last longer (we had a beautiful relationship of three years), it isn’t only driven by hormonal side of things and such, the feelings can develop into something more meaningful than just simple and shallow lust. More for that matter - most of these age-gap relationships didn’t end extra-bad breakups and the partners tended to continue seeing each other as friends.

When I interviewed my friends, asking them about the length of these relationships, it was never less than a year. Usually, they said that they learned a ton of new stuff about themselves and having a healthy, normal relationship than from dating someone their age. So… Yeah. I guess that personal, first-hand experience is what makes us see the relationship for its good and bad, but still assures us not to perceive the relationship as predatory.

Now, you might say that while were living in the 2020s’, Call me by your name took place in 1983 - and guess what? It was written in the year 2007. Does that mean something? The answer is - no. My grandma met my grandpa in the 80s’ (I asked her about this as well and they have 14 years gap; my other grandma and grandpa met at the end of 80s’ and the start of 90s’ and they, as well, have 8 years between them) and by this, you can see that the situation is more or less the same as it was.

For all of the above, I can see why Elio fell for Oliver so quickly. First and foremost - he mentions Oliver being older like… Three, four times in a book that has word count 76.996? Elio doesn’t care about age - it’s a story about two human beings falling in love. It’s not trying to research the problem of age and such. Stop judging the story for the wrong reason, ffs.

2. The ‘consensual ra*e’ argument:

Another thing I’ve encountered is the audience calling the story 'consensual ra*e’… Let me elaborate and tell you why you’re wrong. In America, the age of consent is 16 - 18. In Europe, we have the age of consent established at 15 (the lowest being Estonia with 14) and you are a lawful adult at 18 years old. Given that Elio was 17 in the summer and 18 in November, he was already perceived as an adult; given what were his parents like and what relationship they had to him. (Again, I am looking at the story from today’s perspective since the audience did as well). He was a man at the time Oliver came to Italy, he was a man at the time he had sex with Marzia, he was a man when he had sex with Oliver and he was a man when he traveled to Rome.

Elio should be perceived as an adult who carries most of his personal responsibility on his shoulders (since you’re more than partially punished for the laws you break from the age of fifteen) and if he decides that he wants to be in a sexual relationship with an older man - he can rightfully do so. Surely, the relationship had another big B U T (for some people) - homosexuality and homophobia. And from the historical standpoint, I don’t wanna spend too much time over it. The LGBT movement foundation ties back to 1969; given that Italy was in the capitalistic pro-American part of Europe (Czechia was under the Communist regime at the time, so homosexuality was barbarically punished in my country), I think there wasn’t a problem with a subtle, not-too-obvious gay relationship. Sure, you couldn’t walk into the open and hold hands and such, but you wouldn’t get you beheaded.

Yeah, I mean, I’m not an expert on Italian war history and I don’t particularly know what happened with Italy after WW2, but I know that in 1985, first LGBT organization got founding from the republic and from that I assume the situation, especially if it would be a subtle relationship, wouldn’t be as bad.

In the story, it is hinted that both Sami and Anella were aware of the whole relationship - I mean, come on. Sami knew (since he had the big speech about being corrupted at the age of thirty, (“I think he’s better than me, dad”.; “And I am sure he would say the same about you, which both of you makes seem like good people.” - Call me by your name, page 221)) and Anella perfectly knew at least in the movie - I mean, the car-ride home? Oh, she knew very well and she even told Marzia at the dinner, IMO.

Now tell me why would the relationship be a consensual ra*e? Because it is not bent to accommodate American laws? Because it not an ordinary every-day relationship? In which way is it ra*e? At the age of 17, you are taken as A D U L T who has their responsibilities to fulfil, at least here in Europe.

3. Oliver didn’t love Elio as much as Elio loved Oliver:

… What? I mean… What?

Sure, you are seeing the whole story from Elio’s eyes and for that, you are more likely to take Elio’s side in this matter. In the end, it was Oliver who was getting married, right? And he was the first one to reach out, right? Well… It was a both-sided thing.
At the first few pages, Eliosays ““Do you want to look at them?”Not now, maybe later.“ Polite indifference, as if he noticed my out of place zealous effort to make him like me as he pushed me away briskly.”; page 12 and on page 18, Elio states “We started - he must’ve seen the hints way sooner than I did - to flirt.”, let alone that Elio describes that probably, Oliver visited his room while he was asleep.

I can see where the opinion that Elio loved Oliver more could’ve come from - he was young, hasty and captivated by the entirety of Oliver. Since we see the story by his side, Oliver can seem to be the less active out of the two. But trust me, he loved him the same amount, if not more. This was confirmed by both Sami and Vimini -

Page 92, a conversation between ElioandVimini, Oliver went to the sea with Anchise:

“Do you know where Oliver is?”
“I don’t know. I thought he went fishing with Anchise.”
“With Anchise? He’s crazy! He almost killed himself the last time!”
No response. She was looking at the sun slowly setting down.
“You like him, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I responded.
“He likes you too. More than you do - I think.”
You really think so? - No, Oliver does. - When did he tell you? - Not too long ago.

and page 220, when SamiandElio talk about their trip to Rome:

“Oliver may be very intelligent—,” I began. Once again, the disingenuous rise intonation announced a damning but hanging invisibly between us. Anything not to let my father lead me any further down this road.
“Intelligent? He was more than intelligent. What you two had had everything and nothing to do with intelligence. He was good, and you were both lucky to have found each other, because you too are good.“

Which obviously shows that both of the people who are indirectly watching the relationship between Elio and Oliver blossom in front of their very eyes are aware that both were very much in love. And Vimini, even if she said 'Oliver does think he loves Elio more’, she could see that these two are very much attracted to each other. She was spending a lot of time with Oliver throughout his stay in Italy and she was beyond intelligent - these two were an incapable pair idiots compared to her.

So, no, Oliver doesn’t love Elio more; he’s just not being as childish about it as Elio is. Once more, the age gap is tying into this topic; while Oliver has his 'hot-headed’ days, he already went through the phase of being obsessed by someone (or at least the phase being obsessed and letting the surroundings know). He is slightly more mature than Elio, so he just doesn’t let himself go that easily.

And I think that he maybe suffers from internalized homophobia - page 224, Olivertalks with Elio as he comes back for Christmas:

”You should leave then. They (Elio’s parents) know about us.“ ”I figured so,“ he responded. ”How?“ ”By the way your father spoke. You’re lucky. My father would have me carted me off to a correctional facility.“

In this short piece of dialogue, you can see that Oliver’s father isn’t okay with LGBT (not too much to wonder about, the American society was different than it is now, it wasn’t a safe space for queers). And it’s plausible that if Oliver had listened to this as he grew up, he got scared when his mind and body reacted to Elio in this way. We can see that for Elio, he lets go for some time; as they sleep in the 2nd part of the book and visit Rome together in the 3rd part of the book. He tried to overcome the fear and simply because he was in love with the boy, he did overcome it.

But you can see the broken shell (which was tore down in Italy) slowly getting together as Oliver gets back to the USA. He, once more, is under the pressure of American society who is not LGBT friendly at the time, his own father would’ve never supported his decisions regarding his love life, it could cost him his academic career… And for all of these reasons, it was more logical for Oliver to get married. It was his way of putting order back into his life; it was his way of being good as he says Elio.

So, yeah. Here you have it. Oliver was in love, the relationship could benefit both parties and it wasn’t a consensual ra*e, thank you very much.

WhileCall me by your name is about young love and heartbreak, Find Me is about hope and patience.

And if you think that the book only got sequel bcs it got lit, trust me, read the last part of cmbyn, especially the last pages, and try reconsidering it - because the hints of possible sequel were there.

I’m sorry, but I’ll be gone most likely for this week, but… Call Me By Your Name dragged me down and doesn’t let go.

Given my brain parkoured through Harry Potter, Spider-Man and Witcher fandom in the last four days, I suspect I should be able to write about anything else than two men falling in love in less than a week.

I’m really sorry, but there’s something about Timothée and Armie’s chemistry in the movie… But the book, oh God. It’s just too good.

I just wanna say I’m really sorry.

idiotdotdotdot:

Hello!! Long time no see!! I’m just away from my computer again so I decided to finish my cmbyn sketchbook spread with some low-skill Elio doodles

Too many peaches i guess,,,,I just think they fit the styling so well ;v;