#deebees inner diary
We picked up a new cat named Patches. He came from my dad and he grew up with me. I feel bad because this happened so quickly, but time wasn’t exactly on my side with this.
Having spent a few weeks recovering, I do have more comics incoming. Also I switched to Procreate for this one! Hopefully it looks ok.
Might be bad timing for this one but I feel like cat owners understand.
Having said that, Jinx is going to be retired as a character for now.
One more comic is queued for Deebee but after that we might need to take a small hiatus to recuperate after a loss in the family. Hosts have temporarily changed (Stu is hosting and I, Dee, will be co-hosting mainly for a bit).
Along with the hiatus, after this comic I’ll be retiring Jinx as a character for a while. Thank you for understanding.
The original therapist comic got deleted because it aged like old milk.
However after a few sessions with my new therapist, I’ve been feeling much more comfortable with talking about my system. Instead of hearing “They’re just voices” or “I know nothing about this so let’s talk about something else,” I’ve been met with actual respect and positive talk about this. I’m so happy.
I do this constantly. I can’t help it!
Almost missed my HRT appointment doing this haha.
Mae figures out they can more than one set of pronouns to describe themself.
Meet us! Sorry this took so long. I (Dee) get very self conscious about how I identify in the system. I’m still working on it. Also a lot of denial kept popping up as we worked on the post. Check below the cut for info!
This account hit 100 followers on insta and this is the “100 follower post” I suppose!
Stu and I came from the same event and I guess we pulled our identities from the same thing as a response. If you’re close to the system and know what happened, then this probably comes as way less than a shock to you, haha. Don’t worry, a comic is scheduled on introjected parts if you’re confused. I don’t like talking about my identity in this system because this kind of thing is so scrutinised and it’s a bit worrying. Stu can vibe with it. I cannot. It took me years to just accept being an introjected part.
Nick is a protector part who used to be a persecutor. He was a source of a LOT of denial and doubt in the system, until someone finally decided to leave him a note and sort of confront those feelings. It took about half a year, but Nick has finally become a protective type rather than a persecutory part. He seems to handle memory in the sense of cutting off oher parts who reminisce too hard on bad memories. Take that as you will.
Dexter used to host and we fought a lot. He went dormant in early 2019 and returned mid-2020. He loves Canada, as in he loves visiting. He would discuss the politics as well and frequently researched how to move there but since he stopped hosting, I’m not too sure if that’s where we’ll be going. Not too sure where, period.
The other three, I’m going to avoid talking about because their backgrounds are too sensitive to disclose. Hope that’s alright!
I don’t want to put this in any DID tag because I’ve been seeing specific subreddits floating around and I don’t want this post on those subreddits. If you’re a system on reddit you probably know what I’m talking about.
So yeah! Hi! Can’t promise you’ll see any comics involving the system (because that’s also very personal), but I can at least promise this.
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It’s tough to widdle this one down into 4 panels, but I figured I’d write about this one as well. I think “Guessing who’s out” could be a comic in its own right really.
I as a system do not expect people to always know who’s out! That’s not the point of this.
In my experience (and this may vary for others), if you think there’s been a switch, making sure the one in the front is okay before delving into who’s out is priority. That way if something was a trigger, the alter fronting can be grounded before handling the topic.
Systems are always encouraged to add input.
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Our cat has gotten more anxious about us leaving since the start of 2020. (Don’t worry– We didn’t go out somewhere populated. Just to my grandmother’s, after quarantining and her being vaccinated.)
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Lillith meets Roderick, who is worried about how another part has come about, even if Lillith has been around for a while now. It’s the fact that there’s parts in hiding that worry Roderick.
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TRIGGER WARNING: MEDICAL, ILLNESS (Ask to tag if this needs further tagging)
By the time this is up I should have already seen a doc about this haha.
I try to not air my dirty laundry with this comic but I’m not sure if this stuff is gonna affect my content creation. Basically, I have had digestive issues since a really bad stomach bug as a kid. I won’t go into detail because I don’t want to gross you out. But I’ve switched to gluten free, greatly reduced oil intake and increased the amount of veggies in my diet. However, as you can tell by this being the third or fourth comic about being exhausted and whatnot, it hasn’t fully gone away and still really impacts my life. Ram and I usually have to strategically plan going out because of this worsening problem. Right now, I have a slight idea of what might be going on, but based on the treatment I receive I’m not sure how available I’m gonna be.
I feel like really bad that delays keep popping up but…
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I’m not too certain how to caption this, except that I don’t know how far I’ll go with this. I’ll be back too black and white soon.
Lillith is mute, but what she wants to say can be “read” by the others in their headspace.
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Meet Lillith: A Memory Holder Alter.
Sometimes in dissociative systems, an alter will have the role of holding memories so the others don’t remember. These parts tend to be emotional, or may reflect their feelings. Sometimes a memory holder is mute, much like Lillith, because what they’ve experienced is unspeakable. Other times (such as in my system), memory holders may appear non-human because they felt dehumanised by the event.
Lillith loves pastel gothic stuff, and she likes to keep herself wrapped up in a big hoodie. It keeps her feeling safe.
Also: As March 2021 rolls around (actually today is the 1 year mark of the United States going into lockdown), trauma “anniversaries” are real, regardless of who we are. Please be easy on yourself.
As always, if systems have anything they’d like to add, feel free to. There are many ways plurality is experienced.
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Sometimes persecutors know just what to say. Mae might be a bit hard with her words, but sometimes things like this need to be said bluntly to Deebee.
Based on stuff with my system. I’ve learned to interpret the wording as constructive in their own way.
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