The trifecta is complete! Thank you to the amazing artists that created our three posters for our Babes Weeks! I just wanted to post all three Beetlejuice’s all together because they are absolutely stunning and I love them <3
Beetlejuice *texting Adam*: Talk to you tomorrow mi amour ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Beetlejuice *in text*: The knife wasn’t supposed to be there
Beetlejuice *in text*: Or was it??
Adam:Beetlejuice, we’re in the same room. You don’t need to text me. And even if the knife was supposed to be there I’m dead so it doesn’t matter.
Beetlejuice *in text*: Aww you just couldn’t stay away from me so you just had to come in here didn’t you
Adam: First, Beetlejuice can you just talk to me instead of texting in response to what I say? This is the attic… Where Barbara and I sleep? You literally kicked the door open and sat on all of our… stuff. I guess it doesn’t matter because we were going to throw them away anyway.
Barbara: Yeah don’t worry about it! We gotta stick to Maitlands 2.0!
Beetlejuice: *looks up at Adam with a smug look on his face*
Adam:What?
Beetlejuice *in text*: Did you just ask me to talk to you?
Adam *in text*: Yes because texting me while you’re in the same room as me is ridiculous and when I’m talking out loud and you’re not responding out loud it makes me uncomfortable. It makes me look schizophrenic.
Beetlejuice *in text*: Then beg
Adam:What? What do you mean- Oh wait. No, no, no. Nope. I can’t do this anymore. *leaves*
Barbara: People who don’t sleep with socks on are worrying.
Charles: People who sleep with socks on shouldn’t be trusted.
Barbara:…
Lydia: People who sleep are weird.
Beetlejuice: I sleep with one sock on.
Lydia: You “sleep” with your eyes open too.
Beetlejuice: I am DEAD.
Lydia: So are Adam and Barbara, but you don’t see them sleeping with their eyes open.
Beetlejuice: Yeah, but that’s cause they’re still newbies.
Adam:Excuse me?
Barbara:What?
Beetlejuice:Just sayin’… when you’re dead for over hundreds of years you start to realize that a lot of things you used to do are useless now. Like panicking over paying taxes. *looks at Adam*
Adam: Look it’s because we’ve been existing like we’re still alive so I panicked because I couldn’t- and well it was only one time!!!
Beetlejuice: See, trying to defend yourself is another useless thing. It’s much easier to just admit that you’re a newbie.
Lydia:Beetlejuice, you try to defend yourself all the time and you’re not even good at it, leave Adam alone.
Barbara *looking up*: Beetlejuice, what are you doing?
Beetlejuice: Taping Lydia’s face marker to the ceiling.
Barbara: You mean her eyeliner…? Why?
Beetlejuice:Yeah, sure, that. This is day four of taping her things to the ceiling until she notices. Tomorrow I’m doing her choker.
Barbara: Umm okay, but-
BJ: And before you say I should tape myself to the ceiling, I can’t. It has to be something she would look for.
Barbara:
Beetlejuice:Trust me, I disappeared on her for three days to see how she’d react and the minute I came back I asked her if she missed me and she said, “Oh, you were gone?”
Barbara: Aww, I’m sure she was just saying that.
Beetlejuice:It’s fine. Whatever. I mean if she left for that long I wouldn’t care either.
Adam *walking in*: Beetlejuice, you constantly complain to us how bored you are and ask us what time Lydia gets home.
Beetlejuice:Yeah, well that’s because you two are boring. And I want to know what time she gets home so we can prank her neighbor because we do it everyday. And everytime I ask you guys to do it with me you say no because it’s “mean”.
Delia: I can sense a depressing energy coming off of you.
Lydia: And? I’m always depressed.
Delia: The energy is different this time. What’s wrong?
Lydia: He hasn’t written to me yet.
Delia: Oh, Lydia. I’m sure he will! He’s probably just busy.
Lydia: Well apparently he’s been too busy to write me a letter for 8 months. Honestly, at this point I’m starting to think that…. that he’s not coming back at all. *starts to tear up*
Delia: Lydia, no! Don’t say that! You don’t know that. Maybe they’re having mail issues?
Lydia:Or maybe he can’t come back and he doesn’t know how to tell me and then we can never talk again- *puts her head on the table*
[A flame appears in midair in front of Lydia revealing a black envelope that falls in front of her]
[Lydia lifts her tear stained face, shocked to see it]
Lydia *she smiles wiping her tears*:Beetlejuice!!
Delia *gasp*: Open it!!
Lydia *reading it out loud*:
Dear Ex Wife,
I know this letter’s late and I can already hear your frustraited screams because you wanted me to write to you so shut up. Anyway I really miss you kid. Working here at the Netherworld has had its ups and downs. Mostly downs. Literly all I’m doing is showing newlydeads around and giving them a tour. I’m basicly doing my mother’s job. Don’t get me wrong, I love bursting into song to explain to people about the fact that they’re gonna spend an eternity in the darkest and emptiest place and that they’re gonna be lonely for the rest of their (dead) lives and I get to sing it cheerfuly to give them false hope so they don’t try to go back to earth before they’ve gone through the security door, but it gets old after you’ve done it for thousands of people. And the biggest downside of being here is that you’re not here so I get very bored. I miss creating chaos and comiting arson with you. Right. I should probably get to what you’ve been wanting to hear. Well, honestly, there’s been so many signs that have pointed towards no, like the biggest one being this lady Miss Argentina telling me that I’m going to have to stay here forever to compleetly take my mom’s job because I killed her. Honestly I shouldn’t have even written this letter if there’s no s̶̷h̶̷o̶̷w̶̷ t̶̷o̶̷ c̶̷o̶̷m̶̷e̶̷ b̶̷a̶̷c̶̷k̶̷ t̶̷o̶̷ way I can come back now. I guess I’ll just suprise you when I come home. Even though Miss Argentina says I need to take my mom’s place and become the ruler of the Netherworld. You’d think I’d be interested in becoming the ruler of the Netherworld. Can you imagine? All that power! Actually it sounds very enticing. Okay I better go. I got another batch of newlydeads to entertain. Have fun trying to figure out if I’m coming back or not. Byeeeeee
Lydia: THAT LITTLE SON OF A-
Delia *scolding*:Lydia!!!
Lydia:He’s purposely trying to confuse me! He can’t just leave me wondering if he’s coming back or not!! I have to know!!
Delia: If he wrote “Have fun trying to figure out if I’m coming back or not,” then wouldn’t that mean he’s most likely coming back?
Lydia: Yeah you’re probably right. But still, I want a definite answer.
Delia: He’s not actually going to take over as ruler of the Netherworld, right?
Lydia:No, that’s not him. As much as he has a lust for power, he knows it’s not filling. He realized that after I killed him. And you know it’s just like people say, “Money can’t buy you happiness.” Sure, you’ll be happy at first, but eventually you’ll become empty and depressed. Besides he told me before he left that he hates the Netherworld. He told me exactly what I had felt when I went to the Netherworld. It’s dark, depressing and empty.
Lydia: Wait, he wrote something at the bottom. How did I not see that?
Hahahahahaaaa!! I can already hear your confused screaming from here! Anyway I wrote the answer on the back.
Lydia *to herself*: I wasn’t screaming you self absorbed idiot.
Also I know I have bad grammar and spelling so shutup. What? It’s not like there’s a spell check when I’m writing these letters.
[Lydia flips the letter over]
I talked to Miss Argentina more about going back and she kept insisting that they all needed me, (that’s a first) but then she started feeling bad and said that they’ll try to find someone to replace me. Guess my sexy looks got to her. Anyway I’m pleased to tell you that… I’m coming back!! :) I’m coming home. Funny thing about the word home. My mom always said that the Netherworld is my home and that I needed to come back to it. The thing is, even though I’m “home” now and even though things have been nice here, it doesn’t feel like home. I realize now that home isn’t really a place that you have to live in whether you want to or not. It’s where you feel most wanted and acceppted. It’s where you want and acceppt the people surounding you. It’s where you belong. It’s you guys. Anyway, I’ll be back April 8th. Yes this year. Well technicly next year it just feels like it’s this year. 2022. Until then, hang in there scarecrow. Look! I got that sentence gramaticaly correct! Anyway give everyone except your dad my love. See ya soon! Byeeeeeee
Lydia *hugging her*: Delia he’s coming back!!!
Delia: That’s great news!!! We should celebrate when he returns!
Lydia *jumping up and down*: Guys!! He’s coming back! He’s coming back!!
Adam: That’s wonderful! As much as I hate getting harassed by him, I do miss him every once and a while.
Barbara: That’s great, Lydia! Now you have something to look forward to! When is he coming back?
Lydia:This coming April!
Lydia *smiling*: Itfeels so far from now, but all that matters is that he’s coming home.
LydiaDeetz:I’ve been told I’m too negative and hostile towards Beetlejuice. So BJ, if my tweets have offended you, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
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LydiaDeetz: Oh, I guess I was right. He can’t read. I would like to announce that I will continue tweeting things about BJ regardless of whether he would find it offensive or not.
Barbara: I stepped on this poor butterfly!! I think I killed it!
Adam: Oh Barbara, it’s ok.
Barbara: Oh no! I’m a murderer!! I’m becoming like Beetlejuice!!
Adam: Hun, he’s killed people. You haven’t. You’re not like Beetlejuice, calm down.
Barbara *crying*: But it’s still a living creature…
Adam: Look! It’s still alive!
Barbara: Oh! Oh good! I’ll nurse it back to health!
[A tiny bandage and a few pieces of fruit and honey later…]
Barbara: And here’s some of my watercolor pieces that I’ve made of flowers! I hope I’ve captured them accurately. You’d be the perfect judge of them because you see flowers all the time!
Lydia: Are you talking to a… butterfly?
Barbara: Yeah! I accidentally stepped on this poor thing, so I decided to help it recover and while it’s recovering I thought I could show it some of my water color pieces!
Lydia:Aww haha, okay… well I was wondering if you could help me with my homework for a bit?
Barbara:Sure!
[Barbara sets down the butterfly on the window sill and leaves with Lydia]
Barbara *coming back*: Beetlejuice what do you have hanging out of your mouth?
Beetlejuice:What are you talking about? *starts trying to grab at his mouth*
Barbara *pulls a piece of blue tape out of his mouth*: Hey this is what I used for the butterfly- *looks at windowsill*
Barbara *starting to get upset*:
Adam: Hey Barbara have you seen my- *looks at Barbara, then at Beetlejuice, then at the blue tape in Barbara’s hand*
Adam *at BJ*: You did not-
Barbara:THAT BUTTERFLY WAS IN RECOVERY AND YOU ATE IT?!
Beetlejuice:Well-
Adam: I thought Lydia said you hated the taste of butterflies?
Beetlejuice: That was a long time ago, I wanted to try one again…
Barbara: YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON!!!
Beetlejuice: For eating a butterfly?
Barbara: Yes!! Doesn’t everyone know how wrong that is??
Adam: Barbara he’s killed humans and you’re getting mad over him eating a butterfly?
Barbara: I’m sorry, you’re right. I just got a bit attached. The butterfly and I were really getting along… :(
[Later…]
Barbara: *painting a picture of the butterfly*
Beetlejuice: I’m sorry, Babs.
Barbara: It’s ok.
Beetlejuice: *taps Barbara’s shoulder*
Barbara: *turns around*
Beetlejuice: *holds both his hands out, palms up* *beautiful butterflies fly out of his palms and surround her, tickling her face*
[The butterflies eventually land on the walls and the tables and furniture]
Barbara:Wow!!! Thank you so much, BJ!! I had no idea you could do this!!
Beetlejuice:My powers aren’t only for destruction and violence ;)
Barbara *smiles*: I think I know what I’m going to do with this then! *gestures to paper*
[Barbara finishes, and you can see Beetlejuice’s hands at the bottom, with his butterflies flying out of his palms behind the butterfly she originally tried to save. The butterflies coming out of his hands are black and white with bizarre patterns, but they’re beautiful]
Juno: And you wonder why your father left! Because you’re worthless!!! You’re an embarrassment to me!! To the dead!! You’re a sorry excuse of a demon!!
Beetlejuice: *expressionless, looking at the ground*
Juno:Get out of my sight!!!
Beetlejuice: Yes, mother.
[BJ goes to his room, closing the door behind him pulling out a cake he stole out from underneath his bed.]
[BJ then pulls out a stolen package of birthday candles and puts 9 of them on the cake, lighting them slowly, his hand shaking.]
[BJ looks at the clock. Once it turned 12:00 am, he started to sing.]
Beetlejuice *singing quietly with tears slowly dripping off of his cheeks*: Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to… me, Happy Birthday to- me… Happy- Birthday to me…
[At this point Beetlejuice closes his eyes with tears streaming down his face and silently makes a wish. The he blows out his candles, and wipes his tears.]
[He then slides the cake under the bed, crawls into bed, and falls asleep.]
Beetlejuice: Seriously?? I didn’t order pizza for you two to have a Netflix and Chill date and for me to be the third wheel.
Barbara: No one said you had to be here.
Adam:A little harsh, Barb.
Beetlejuice: Lydia’s corrupted you, hasn’t she… Anyway, this was supposed to be a date for ALL of us!!
Barbara: Oh, Adam! Speaking of dates, I made some romantic, cute little cupcakes for when we’re done with our pizza! *holds out a platter of cupcakes with pink icing and heart-shaped sprinkles*
Beetlejuice:
Adam: Honey, they look delicious!! I can’t wait to try one!
Adam *hugs her*: Thank you
Beetlejuice:That was weird for all of us, because you accidentally hugged her instead of me. Besides, I bought the pizza!! With my own money!!!
Adam and Barbara:
Beetlejuice: Okay, fine it wasn’t mine it was Delia’s, but she had plenty of money to spare! And anyway, it’s the thought that counts!!
Me: Hey, @beetlejuicebway? What was this supposed be about?
BeetlejuiceBway:Oh, we were just gonna announce that the the musical is officially moving to a new theatre and that we will be back as soon as this is over.
Me: Oh, ok thanks.
Me:WAIT-
Disclaimer: this never happened I’m just makin jokes and wishin that it was real :(
