#dez wade
dez wade from austin & ally is a gay clown!
Ally: Austin you look so handsome! ,
Austin: Thanks! I got this new moisturizer that makes my skin glow. I’ve also been using this new hair mousse that’s awe-
Ally:???
The fact that I haven’t been on here for Soooooooo long but after the ten year reunion I decided to rewatch episodes and suddenly I’m back here liking old content ♀️
dez: bathtubs are just reverse boats.
trish: get away from me.
dez: i’m ignoring you.
trish:
dez: i said, i’m ignoring you.
trish:
dez: trish, don’t ignore me ignoring you!
ally: i can’t believe how fast you finished that whole book.
dez: i was hungry.
dez: we all have a head, a body, a neck and a sound hole, so technically, we’re all ukuleles.
ally:
ally: how do you come up with these things, dez?
dez: that hard candy didn’t taste good.
ally: that was broken glass, are you okay-
dez, taking off a hat to reveal a smaller, sparkly, secret hat underneath: does this answer your question?
austin: i never even asked a question.
austin: i can’t believe you ate that.
dez: it said “free samples”!
austin: it was lotion!
dez: who loses 50 coin tosses in a row? heads she wins, tails i lose!
dez: wait a minute…
ally: yes, dez?
dez: i forgot to pick up my dry cleaning.
austin: can you overdose on vitamin d?
ally: technically, that’s how icarus died.
dez, with tears in his eyes: icarly died??
trish:can you hear that?
ally: no, what are you talking about?
trish: the sound of christmas!
ally: that’s the sound of austin and dez screaming in terror after tasting the christmas cookies you made.
trish: joy to all!
trish: never have i ever…accepted the terms and conditions without reading them.
ally: it’s too risky!
dez: left a movie without watching the credits.
ally: those people worked hard!
austin: used more than the recommended amount of conditioner.
ally: they make the conditioner, they know what they’re doing!
trish: why are austin and dez sitting with their backs to each other?
ally: they had a fight.
trish: then why are they holding hands?
ally: they get sad when they fight.
austin: i think trish was right.
ally: i’m surprised she hasn’t marched in here to say “i told you so”.
dez: she wouldn’t do that.
trish: you’re right, dez. for once in your life, you’re 100% right. i would never say that.
trish: [turns around, the shirt she’s wearing says “trish told you so” on the back]
dez: trish gave me a “get well soon” card.
ally: aw, that’s sweet.
dez: i wasn’t sick, she just thought that i could do better.
dez: things have actually been going really well with trish. our friendship is in a really good place.
dez: last week i said “did you know that the weiner dog is neither a weiner or a dog?” and instead of saying “shut up, dez”, she said “okay”.
austin: today i told dez that his shoes were on the wrong feet. after a very long pause, he said “i don’t have any other feet”.
austin: god, i hope he was high.
dez:change is inedible.
austin: don’t you mean “inevitable”?
dez, spitting out pennies: no, i do not.
dez: i’m terrified of the backstreet boys.
austin: tell me why.
dez:[screams]
i was talking to my friend last night and she was just luxuriating in her room wearing this plush leopard print robe but then her boyfriend came in to bring her orange slices and he was wearing an IDENTICAL leopard print robe i lost my fucking mind
ally: we need a distraction. is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
dez: my time has come.
