“The vampire gave her the kind of smile only a vampire can give.  It would have been sheepish, if sheep had different teeth.”

- Terry Pratchett - Monstrous Regiment

“Only Ron’s dog was watching William. He considered that it had, for a dog, a very offensive and knowing look. A Couple of months ago someaone had tried to hand William the old story about there being a dog in the city that could talk. William had explained that it was an urban myth. It was always a friend of a friend who had heard it talk, and it was never anyone who had seen the dog. The dog in front of William didn’t look as if it could talk, but it DID look as if it would swear.”

Terry Pratchett - The Truth

“DO NOT PUT ALL YOUR TRUST IN ROOT VEGETABLES. WHAT THINGS SEEM TO BE MAY NOT BE WHAT THEY ARE.”

Terry Pratchett - The Truth

“Mrs. Tilly, I think you wrote a lovely well-spelled and grammatical letter to us suggesting that everyone under the age of eighteen shoulqd be flogged once a week to stop them being so noisy?’ ’

Once a day, Mr de Worde,’ said Mrs. Tilly. ‘That’ll teach ‘em to go around being young!”

- Terry Pratchett - The Truth

“And something that distinguishes the Mr Windlings of the universe is the term ‘in my humble opinion’, which they think adds weight to their statements rather than indicating, in reality, 'these are the mean little views of someone with the social grace of duckweed’.”

- Terry Pratchett - The Truth

“We’ve always looked beyond the walls for the invaders,” he said. “We always thought change came from outside, usually on the point of a sword. And then we look around and find that it comes the inside of the head of someone you wouldn’t notice in the street.”

- Terry Pratchett - The Truth

“WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN? The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of the potato.

SQUEAK, he said.

Death waved a hand dismissively.  WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE.”

Terry Pratchett - The Truth